this guy made me laugh so hard

Some artwork for @guy that I literally said I would have done over a month ago.

I know, I’m a horrible person…I’M SO SORRY! I got relly unexpectedly busy. but here is half of it! (I’ll do the other image we talked about soon!)

And no, this wasn’t a commission. And I know some artists out there are like, “what??? why would you do art for him for free?????” and I will tell you;

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Things I Like (as demonstrated by Chris Evans)

the jaw thing:

Originally posted by rbertdowneys

the bicep thing:

Originally posted by lmwechirrut

the arm thing:

Originally posted by evanslovely

the back thing:

Originally posted by marvel-bootys

The dorito ratio thing:

Originally posted by captainbootycall

the hip bone thing:

Originally posted by singinginaredgarden

the shoulder thing: 

Originally posted by captainamerica1-6

the butt thing:

Originally posted by crazyfangirlinabluebox

the boob thing:

Originally posted by thatsnarkydragon

the whole body laugh thing:

Originally posted by marvelousspider

the whatever this is:

Originally posted by yet-i-remain-quiet

[Insp] Guys I took the idea from @friendlyneighbourhoodpizzaman’s spn ones which are amazing and made me laugh so hard.

[Sebastian Stan]

What’s up, it’s Alexei!

When Ngozi posted this picture yesterday of young post-draft Tater “trying his darnedest to answer press questions in English,” I thought, “You know, I could make a play fic out of that.” Which is what led to the following 2700+ words about Tater and his ESL tutor.

Many, many thanks to @ktheunready for being my Russian authenticity consultant and beta!


Georgia Martin stood at the back of the media scrum and watched Alexei Mashkov stumble his way through his post-draft interview, saw the way his fingers kneaded the brim of the brand-new Falconers’ cap he’d been handed for the initial official photos, saw the way his eyes widened and stayed intently glued to whoever was asking him a question, like he was afraid he’d miss some key bit of meaning if he blinked.

She pulled out her phone and made a call.

***

«No, Mama, I promise, my room is very nice. The family is very nice. Everything is very…»

«Let me guess, nice? »

Alexei sighed. «Yes.»

«You know I don’t doubt you, right, Alyosha? I’m not worried you can’t do this. You will be fine. But I know this is your first time to live in another country, with none of the boys from your teams here. It can be… hard, sometimes. I know.»

«Yeah, Mama, I know. You told me.»

«Are you telling me you’ve heard the stories of my youth too many times?» she asked in mock outrage.

«No, no!» he laughed. «Of course not.»

«Good. I should think not.» He could picture her face exactly, and it made him smile. «I’m glad your host family seems nice, Alyosha. I’m sure you will have many friends in no time.»

He flopped back on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. «I hope so.»

«We’ll talk again soon. Love you, son.»

«Love you, too.»

He hung up and let his phone rest on his chest. He’d been to America before. He’d thought he’d known what it would be like, that it wouldn’t be so bad. Different, yes, but there would be so many interesting new things to see, and new teammates, and he certainly knew how to play hockey. What he had failed to take into account, apparently, was how exhausting it was to try to function in English all day. For a US hockey team, the Falconers’ roster was shockingly low on Russian players, so his host family was one of the French Canadian ones. To their credit, they did speak some Russian, but it was hardly enough to have a real conversation. Alexei felt like he’d been practically mute all day.

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2

Dear Taylor,

I’m Suzy and I want to share with you something that is a big part of my life and that you are also a big part of it. When I was High School I wasn’t the most popular and didn’t have to many friends. I had braces, glasses, and didn’t know how to dress and teens called me weird. The only reason guys liked me was because of my body and that made me feel so used. I listened to your music a lot and it got me through a lot of hard times. When it came to prom my senior year, I thought I was actually going to get to go because a guy I really liked told me he would take me but in the end he backed out. I was left feeling like I wasn’t pretty enough or worthy of even going. That I would be laughed at if I went by myself. I decided to stay home, I wish I would have had friends to go with but none of them so called “friends” wanted to go with me. I was very unsure of who I was, until a few years ago. I went to your 1989 Tour and I heard your clean speech and the lines that stuck out to me the most of what you said was “You are NOT somebody else’s opinion of you.” and “You ARE your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile.” I knew from that moment, I am who I know I am. That I am beautiful no matter what others say. You gave me hope!! Now I am stronger, more confident, and feel beautiful!! I decided that since this year is my 25th Birthday, I want to have a party that is Prom themed!! That this will be the prom I have always dreamed of, the one I didn’t go to because I was afraid to. But now I am fearless!! I know this is kind of last minute and I know you are a very busy person but I would love to invite you to my 25th Birthday Prom!!! There will be lots of food, music, and dancing!!! A place where I am free to be myself, a place where love will be!!! My Birthday Party will be on Saturday, June 24th, 2017!!! Would you, @taylorswift be my guest of honor at my birthday prom??? It would be a way of thanking you for all you have done for me and to have you at my party celebrating who I am now, it would mean so much to me!! I know it is such short notice but it would mean the world!!! I can’t say how incredible you are and how you have changed my life with your kind and loving words!!! I love you, Tay  :)

Love, 

Suzy W

Butt-Dialed

Summary: A phone call at 3 A.M. was unexpected, especially when it was Chris using Lin’s cellphone to tell you something very important.

Pairing: Lin x reader

A/N: Take a wild guess where I got the inspiration for this one.


“Lin?” you whispered into your phone, extremely confused. You heard a lot of shuffling and muffled laughter. Maybe he accidentally butt-dialed you? …But at three in the morning?

“Lin.” You called a little louder, hoping that he would hear you. You strained your ears, hoping to catch some of the furious whispers passing through the line. You were more confused than ever when you heard: “Give it back!”, “It’s not funny!”,  and “Oh relax. She’s probably too tired to remember this in the morning anyways.”

Okay, they were definitely talking about you.

“Hello? Lin?” you repeat, patience wearing thin.

Just before you decided to hang up and go back to bed, the smooth voice of Chris stopped you.

“Hi, it’s Chris!” he said cheerfully, voice slurred. It was a tell-tale sign that he was drunk.

“Hi. Can I help you?” you asked dryly, confused at why exactly you were talking to him on Lin’s phone.

“I just wanted to tell you, that my buddy here, Lin, likes you. He’s was too much of a wuss to tell you so I – ow! Shit Lin, that hurts!”

You heard more muffled sounds and struggling.

“I, um.  Hi,” the breathless voice of Lin greeted you, and you bit back a laugh. “We’ve been drinking.”

“Yes, I can tell,” you drawled, rolling over to your side and bringing a hand up to cover the smile on your lips, “care to explain what Chris just told me?”

“Pining. I’ve been pining. And all I’ve been doing is whining. To Chris, to Lac, to my Uber driver. Damn, I really wanna take you out to this really fucking cool diner. Tomorrow night. Let’s go grab a bite. So say yes, alright?”

You laughed so hard that you snorted, tears in your eyes as you listened to him freestyling. “Lin,” you gasped, “that was magical.”

“Fuck, I’m so drunk,” he groaned, “I’m going to regret this tomorrow, aren’t I?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask me out for ages,” you whispered, your smile so wide that it made your cheeks hurt.

“I’m so stu - wait, what? Are you serious?” he yelled, “Holy shit, guys! She said yes!”

You heard multiple shouts from his end of the phone, making you realize that there was no way that Chris was the only person with him. You pressed the phone closer to your ear, laughing when you heard someone exclaim victoriously that Lin finally grew a pair of balls.

“I - I gotta go, they want celebratory shots? I don’t understand what’s happening right now. But I do know that I like you. A lot. Don’t forget that we have a date tomorrow.”

And with that, he hung up.

You laid in bed, dumbfounded and ecstatic.

When it all sank in, you did a small dance in bed and buried your face in your pillow, hoping that your roommates didn’t hear your giddy giggles.

Yes! Lin liked you!

No Apologies

Call me a thief, there’s been a robbery.
I left with her heart, tore it apart. Made
no apologies. Just call me a thief. 
She was on top of me, then I left with her
heart. Broken and scarred. Made no apology. (xxx)


[Y/N] posed with the Spider-Man cast on the carpet. Her smile dazzling the crowd as she tried to keep up the ruse that she wasn’t hating every minute of having Tom’s hand resting on the middle of her back. She had tried to maneuver away from him before they stepped foot in front of the cameras. But, everyone wanted Spider-Man and Mary-Jane to stand next to each other. And little did her fellow castmates know the secret she shared with Tom and at that moment she wished they had because then they wouldn’t have made her stand next to him. 

After everything was all said and done, she quickly moved forward and posed in front of another set of cameras. She just wanted to hurry up and go inside. [Y/N] dreaded this night because it was the first night since the premiere tour that they would all be in one room together. She had purposely double-booked herself the first few nights but after four missed premiere’s, her manager started to dog her into being there for this one. After all, she was a main character aside from Tom’s. It was rude for her not to be there but [Y/N] wanted nothing more than to stay far away from him. 

She could see the end, it was only a few feet from her. Just as she was home free, her name was being yelled out to pose with Tom. [Y/N] wanted to decline but her agent was quicker and dragged her back over towards Spider-Man himself. The tension between them was awful and it was mostly one-sided. Tom nonchalantly smiled and ushered her to pose with him by grabbing her by the waist. This made the press go nuts, she bit her lip to prevent her from spewing off the line of insults she had lined up for him. 

Swallowing her animosity, she turned and gave the cameras what they wanted. Tom was a wonderful actor, that she couldn’t deny. These people had no idea what kind of person he could be and the history the two shared during they’re time filming. The minute they had their fill of Peter Parker and his beloved Mary-Jane, she ripped away from him. The end was, again, in reach but she was whisked away to be placed in front of interviewers by her agent who gave her a stern look. 

Sighing, she smiled again and answered the questions that were being thrown at her in every direction. One made her uncomfortable as they pressed on and on about her chemistry with Tom onscreen was amazing and that they would make the most dynamic couple off screen as well. They weren’t wrong about the onscreen chemistry. In fact, [Y/N] didn’t use to hate Tom at all in the beginning. They became fast friends and she even made it into his inner circle. It was a friendship she thought she was going to cherish for years to come but it all quickly came to an end when they became so drunk in her trailer and things led to another. 

At first, they made an agreement that they would pretend nothing happened for the sake of the film and their friendship. But the longer they worked together and the more she spent time with him, the more she started to find herself liking him. [Y/N] would swear he was feeling the same things but all he wanted was a booty call right after filming or before. She found that out quickly and ever since then, she couldn’t stand to be around him. Tom was not the person she thought he was. 

“You look absolutely radiant, [Y/N]! And Tom, Tom looks dashing. You two would make the greatest couple right now. Everyone is obsessing over you guys. Tell me, is he a potential candidate for your heart?” 

[Y/N] had to remind herself that six cameras were on her and that she couldn’t snort and roll her eyes. She did, however, grimace at the thought of allowing herself to fall for him again. Replacing it with a smile, she laughed nervously. “Oh, I don’t think so.” 

“Awww, why not? I think you two look great together.” 

Pressing her lips together, she slowly made her way down the line but not before shaking her head and commenting, “I fall too fast, crash too hard, forgive too easily, and care too much. He’s a heartbreaker for sure. Can’t let myself get involved with that.” She flickered a glance that wasn’t caught on camera as Tom approached them. They’re eyes locked for a split moment before she scoffed silently and met up with the next group of interviewers. 

the signs as iconic x-files "monsters"
  • aries: Sheriff Hartwell, secret vampire
  • taurus: Chinga, creepy ass doll, wants to play
  • gemini: Duane Barry, unpredictable abduction enthusiast
  • cancer: Tooms, professional liver harvester/nester
  • leo: Eve, every last one of them, ready to take over
  • virgo: Pusher, very persuasive fruity protein drinker
  • libra: Tulpa, literally a lawful evil garbage monster
  • scorpio: Eddie van Blundht, shape shifter for sexual gain
  • sagittarius: The Great Mutato, ultimate Cher fangirl
  • capricorn: Leonard Betts, perceptive to a cancerous fault
  • aquarius: Guy Mann, would rather be a lizard than a human
  • pisces: Flukeman, hides in toilet, wants to be left alone

The Edge of the Stars by casuallyhl - NR, 16k

Louis laughed. “You think you can convince some random guy to want to go out with me?”

“Oh baby,” Jay chuckled. “I can convince all of the UK to want to go out with you.”

Or, a Meet the Parents AU where Harry is the man of Louis’ dreams, and it’s up to Jay to convince him to date her son.

other recs | rec page

I came across this short documentary in an ice show and through this, we can see how much the disaster affected Yuzu (this cut is from yusu01207′s video, thank you so much for uploading it)

Earlier part for context:

He went to Ishinomaki, Miyagi (an area that was hit really hard in 2011 Earthquake and Tsunami) in June 2014 to thank the junior high schoolers there for their support for him during Sochi.

Narr: He decided to go there after much hesitation

Y: I was wondering if I should go. I’ve been thinking a lot whether anything would change if I go. It feels like (going) would be trampling all over people’s feelings.

Narr: His sensitive heart continues to shake/waver

[He went to a hill where you can see how the disaster destroyed a very big area where there used to be many houses and people.]

Y: I wonder if they made it up this far (to the hill to escape)…

Rough translation of this cut:

[talking with local people who recognized him]

Woman: You look great now that I see in person, your face is so small, and you look really smart….

Man: So you get recognized everywhere you go?

Yuzu: Just recently….*laughs*

Man: Everything, from my wife, my house, my dog, to my cabin, prefab,… everything and everyone were washed away, there was nothing left.

Woman: Even his wife were washed away…

Narr: the harsh reality of Ishinomaki, the harsh reality of the earthquake disaster

Woman: Thank you very much!

Man: Please keep doing your best! I will be watching you from TV.

Yuzu: Thank you very much! (after parting with them) It’s heart-breaking, so painful! Though I’m happy that (my performances) pleased them, afterall, it’s hard/painful! Though they are smiling right now, to come this far, how much troubles they had to suffer through,… when I think about it, I feel so guilty *laughs* This is hard, so painful, it’s so painful I tell you *laughing while holding his chest and wiping his nose*

[when he walked down the path where many houses were washed away; it is reported that 3529 people died and 436 are still missing]

Yuzu: When I think that there used be real houses here, at night everyone slept here, the weight of those numbers is just… (too much)

Personally this is just so heartbreaking for me. Also, you can see how hard it is for Yuzuru, his body language clearly showed he was suffering: he keeps blinking, wiping his nose, and tried to laugh it off while holding his chest.

Still, the latter part of the video is actually much more positive so if please watch more of it in the link guys!

[edit] I made some correction in the translation. Thank you so much to @tadakixd for pointing out my mistakes. Please message me if you guys see any mistake in this as well, mistakes are a part of learning afterall :D

SVT Reaction to Realizing They're in Love With You


A/N: Thanks a lot for your request! Sorry that I couldn’t cover the prompt in every aspect that you wanted; I’m only one person. This one kinda got me in my feels but I liked writing it, nonetheless. I hope you like it! (Also note that I try making my reactions as gender-neutral as possible so sorry if it throws anyone off!!)

-

Seungcheol: This man would have to sit down for a while, completely isolated to make sure that his feelings were clear. Not that he was unsure of how he felt towards you, he just wanted to confirm if that feeling was actually love. After much deliberation, he’d smile gently to himself and mumble, “I love them.. I love (Y/N)…” As for the confession, he’d probably hint that he’s in love with you rather than directly saying it to you because he’s someone with quite a bit of pride and I feel that it would somehow not let him directly express his feelings to you. But if you can’t catch on to any of his hints quick enough, he’ll surely tell you

Jeonghan: He’d be sure of his feelings towards you immediately. No need to think about it for this guy; just acting upon it. Don’t get me wrong though, he’d be very nervous about telling you, but he would try so hard not to let it show. When he does confess, he’ll be very direct because he doesn’t want to waste time. He’d make sure he’s made you laugh a lot and once the laughing has faded, he’d stare into your eyes and say, “You know I’m in love with you, right,” with the most optimistic look in his eyes pls don’t break his fragile little heart

Jisoo: He’d giggle as soon as he realized that this is what he’s feeling. He’s a very gentle person so his reaction wouldn’t be anything too exaggerated. When he tells you, it would be after a strung out series of cute, small, yet meaningful, gifts. He’ll most likely write it on a tag and attach it to one of the many small gifts he got you and wait for your reaction with the cutest smile on his face. Once he sees you’ve read the tag, you’ll hear the softest, sweetest “I love you” ever spoken

Junhui: This boy would be a hot mess the moment he accepts the fact that he’s in love with you. Despite his seemingly cocky attitude, he’d be in panic mode about how he’ll tell you because he wants to tell you directly but is not sure how. Jun’s confession to you will most likely be really serious and really intimate, for lack of a better word. But the boy is really dorky so he’d be another one to laugh off all the previous stress of admitting his feelings to you

Soonyoung: Hoshi’s the type whose whole world just completely lights up after he acknowledges that he has deep feelings for you. Hyper, energetic Hoshi? Double it because his love for you will fuel him even more. And goodness, this boy would overdo it, on the confession side of the scenario. One word: serenade. He’ll come up with a cute choreography to tell you and he’ll be really giggly and somewhat shy the whole time. None of this would take place in public though. He’ll probably do it during a movie night when he comes back to from the kitchen with a soda, or something of that sort. Brace yourself for lots of smiles and laughs and yelling once you return his feelings with a simple “I love you too”

Wonwoo: He’d be really calm about his realization. He’s also another member to be really indirect about it until he realizes that he doesn’t have any other method of confessing but to plainly say “I’m in love with you.” He’ll wait til you bring up an opportunity for him to say it, even if it means he has to wait weeks or even months; the man has patience. He’d be very sweet about it though, of course. Serious, but very sweet.

Jihoon: His reaction wouldn’t be anything to spectacular. He’d let out a small laugh and the only word he can force out would be “wow.” Now the confession, you already know what I’m about to say for the confession: Woozi will write you a song. It’s a very overused concept for Jihoon, but it’s also the most fitting. He’s a very creative being and wants to make sure he expresses his love for you the way he knows best. He’d play a soothing song about his feelings for you on his guitar and subtly say “I love you,” after playing the last chord of the song and wait nervously for your response.

Seokmin: Would tell you on accident as soon as he realizes he’s in love with you. He’d be just as shocked as you because he didn’t yet process the fact that he said it out loud and not in his mind. Once you assure him that it’s fine and that you love him too, he’d laugh it off and have no regrets about the way he had confessed

Mingyu: Honestly, this kid wouldn’t even be surprised with the fact that he’d fallen for you. He’d casually accept what his emotions were. However, he’s also the type to be entirely too nervous to even begin to think about telling you. He can’t really think of a way to tell you so he eventually tells you after a date when he’s walking you to your door and gosh, he’ll have the biggest smile on his face for the rest of the night. He’ll probably go home and do that little squeal that he does sometimes i’msorry

Minghao: Upon his discovery of his feelings for you, he would be a mix of happy and nervous. Minghao would know that he had fallen for you much long before he actually decides to tell you. So when he eventually does say it, he’ll feel so relieved to finally share such important information with you. He’ll be the type to just directly say it with the most amazing timing for doing so. After confessing, the two of you will just relax in each other’s company in comfortable silence

Seungkwan: Oh goodness, this worrisome little ball would be so nervous to tell you once he comes to terms with this feelings. He’ll consult with his trusted members and ask them for advice, regardless of how embarrassing it would be for him; he’d rather be embarrassed in front of them than in front of you. Whenever he does say it, it’ll be really fluffy and meaningful and there’s a strong chance that he’ll say it by accident btw

Hansol: Aw, Hansol’s reaction to being in love with you would be really cute. It’s like a really cute state of disbelief, but in the best way possible. Similar to Jihoon, he’d want to incorporate music into the confession because it’s such a big part of his life, just as you’ve become. He’d make you listen to a song that describes how you make him feel and he’d tell you directly and then he’d kiss you really sweetly and passionately after bye

Chan: I feel that confusion would be the most overpowering feeling in Chan’s heart after identifying how he feels towards you. He’d constantly question himself, things like, “How did I get to this point?” Whenever he decides to tell you, he’d try to play it cool, which, in all actuality, makes him look kinda silly but it’s something about him that you’ve always admired about him. He wouldn’t be very nervous but he’d mainly be concerned about your reaction when he says those magic words

[SUMMARY: Negan doesn’t allow his wife to work in the sanctuary on Valentine’s Day. Although she still tries to so that she can gain respect, Negan leaves the men with a warning so he could have her all to himself.]

Smut/Semi Fluff

Negan and Ebony.

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My J2 Photo Op Experience @ HousCon 2017!

So for my J2 photo op, I wanted something funny. I always loved the way J2 laughed, so I decided to do one where we’re all laughing super hard, almost reminiscent of my favorite reaction photo: the laughing salad stock photo.

I had already seen Jensen an hour prior for his photo op, but I didn’t see Jared yet. Jared was standing the closest to our side. I walked up, and Jared turned to see me and started smiling. He cheerily said, “Hey! How’ve you been?” before he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I was hesitant before to accept the hug because I’ve had volunteers get upset with me (to the point at BurCon 2016 when Jared literally had to yell “Hug me!”), but he literally pulled me in before I had a chance to decide, and I couldn’t deny this man his hug! I still couldn’t get over how tall Jared is! I remember having to stand on my toes just to hug him properly. He said, “It’s good to see you!” I told him it was good seeing him again too and asked how he was doing. He told me he was doing amazing, and that made me smile to hear. 

For the pose, I asked, “Could you guys pretend to be laughing extremely hard like you’re laughing at one of your own jokes?” Jared agreed, but I think Jensen didn’t understand at first because he couldn’t hear me. Jared then leaned in to whisper in Jensen’s ear what I said and then Jensen finally nodded and agreed as well. We all stood in position, and Jared put his arm around me, so I put my arm around him. Then, I could see them leaning back, faux laughing with their hands on their chests, so instinctively, I just mirrored them without really thinking how I was posing, so my head wasn’t as tilted back as I would have liked (but I think the photo op still came out cute!).

The picture is taken and was about to thank them both and leave, but then Jared pulled me into ANOTHER hug, which caught me off guard. Jared was a big hug monster today! I hugged him back for a couple more seconds and thanked him before looking back to Jensen and thanking him as well.

And now I finally have my new favorite reaction photo!

______________________________________________________________

Side Story: Before I could fully leave the photo op room, Chris called me over. I didn’t know what he wanted, and he was in the middle of taking another photo, so I was just awkwardly standing behind him, feeling like the volunteer was gonna kick me out. He then turned to me, walked up, and pulled me into a hug, asking if I was doing alright. It was really sweet! I said I was doing great (amazing actually), and he smiled saying it was good to hear. 

Chris is the best!

Late Night Phone Calls (Memory)

“Of course you do.” You say laughing looking up at your ceiling. You held your phone close to your ear as you waited for his response.

“Why not? Since all men are the same.” He quoted what you said to him a couple days ago. You laugh along with him and shake your head even though he couldn’t see you.

“Not all men.” You say turning to your side.

“Oh really? So they aren’t all the same?”

“No….You’re different.” You whisper feeling your face grow hot. You guys have been dating for two weeks but you still felt shy around him. Everything was much different from when you two were just friends.

“I’m different?” He says with a chuckle.

“Yes. Out of all the guys I’ve dated you’re different.” You said smiling to yourself. “I’ve told you the stories.”

“I remember.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you liked me back then when I would cry to you about them?”

“Because you never looked at me the way you looked at them.” You pouted to yourself.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You’re mine now.” He says chuckling and you smile really big. Silence followed as you both laid there.

“I want to see you.” You mumble and he laughs lightly on the other end.

“You just saw me this morning.” You pout.

“It wasn’t enough…” You whine and he laughs.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault it’s our jobs.” Your work schedules were different so it was hard to see each other during the week. You guys tried to meet each other in between and even try to talk on the phone or FaceTime late at night. Sometimes when he was free you would be sleeping or the other way around. But you guys always made it work and tried to spend a lot of time together on the weekends.

Silence followed as you laid in bed.

“Are you tired?” He asks.

“No.” You lied not wanting to cut the time with him short and he chuckled.

“Stop lying. You have to be up at 5am and it’s…” You heard shuffling on the other end. “1am.”

“But I’m not tired.”

“Good night.” He says laughing and you laugh along with him.

“Noooooooo.”

“I’m hanging up.” He continues laughing.

“No please don’t.”

“Ah don’t use please…you know that gets me.” You laugh.

“You should’ve never told me.” He laughs and you smile.

“If I sing for you, will you go to sleep?” You smile even bigger and turn to lay on your back. Now he was using your weakness against you.

“Yes.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He chuckles.

“Hold on one second…..Let me just get my guitar.” He says and you wait patiently.

I was watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith earlier today and I was like “Haha isn’t that Bucky and Steve WAITAMINUTE. I can make this stuckony.”

So there’s Steve, who works for SHIELD. There’s Bucky, who works for the CIA. And then there’s Tony, who’s a contractor for the government but still CEO of Stark Industries. (Honestly when will he not be. I am a creature of habit.) The CIA and SHIELD discover that they’re all together, and decide well, that’s not good, they could share secrets. So let’s make them kill each other!  (Let’s assume there’s still HYDRA in SHIELD for this because I don’t believe Fury or Coulson permitted this.)

And for added pain (and to keep Tony under their thumb) they go to Tony and say “hypothetically if we each had an agent married to each other how would you fix this?” And Tony laughs and says “I don’t know, kill them both?” (He thinks it very clear that this is a joke because he is a contractor and his opinions on weaponry and defense are the only things that matter.)

Well, lo and behold, suddenly Steve and Bucky are sent to take each other out and they are shocked (and hurt!) to find out all the lies. Steve isn’t an art teacher. Bucky’s not a history professor. “Do you even love Tony, or was that a lie, too?!” they snarl at each other, and get into a huge fist fight in the penthouse, destroying everything.

And then Tony gets home early and finds Bucky has a knife to Steve’s throat, and Steve has a gun pressed to Bucky’s gut, and his home is a mess. “…Why?” he asks tiredly. “Oh my God I just had a hellish day of meetings and now this. Did one of you eat the last of the other’s ice-cream?”

“…I don’t even like rum raisin,” Steve says, and Bucky turns and just yells in his face in anger.

(Tony has no idea what’s going on and he is suddenly Frightened because he’s never seen them like this. Against literally anyone else’s better judgement, he walks up to them and just takes the weapons from their hands. And Steve and Bucky let him, because he is their precious civilian husband, and also threatening each other has gotten awkward now that they have an audience who is clearly not impressed.)

Of course, Tony clearing the chamber and unloading the gun expertly is the hottest thing ever and Steve and Bucky can at least agree on that. After some loud (and honestly kinda violent) life-affirming sex (for Bucky and Steve anyway), Tony makes them spill what’s happening. Tony, incensed, does some discrete hacking and realizes in horror that if anything gets out about it, the CIA and SHIELD are going to throw it back on him, even though it was clearly a fucking joke.

Now, Steve and Bucky are kind of pissed at each other for all the lies, but Tony has told them the truth from the get-go (”You’re not teachers?” Tony asks, betrayed, and they start to feel bad but then– “So the hot-for-teacher role play did nothing for you?” The noises they make are terrible but Tony is so earnestly afraid that they were just putting up with it that they rush to assure him that the role plays were definitely enjoyed on their ends. Sorry. I had to get some more humor in here.)

But now the forty-eight hours Steve and Bucky were given to kill each other are up and Natasha, Steve’s coworker (”I thought she was your PE teacher coworker!” Tony wails.) calls and tells him that SHIELD is about to head out and finish the job for him. Bucky gets a call from Clint (”He’s not just a homeless guy you help out?!” “I never said he was homeless, Tony, you just assumed he was because he’s a slob.”) saying the same thing, and also they’re going to consider Tony collateral damage. Steve and Bucky are furious, because Tony is innocent. “NOT THAT WAY!” they both shout when Tony opens his mouth to make a smart remark about his ‘innocence.’

Cue the car chase in one of Tony’s suped up cars. (”My baby,” he whimpers every time the car is dented and shot at.) At one point his driving gets so… creative, that Steve is almost thrown from the car and the only thing keeping him from being thrown was Bucky’s hand wrapped his wrist. For a terrifying few seconds, he was in midair. (But hey it caused one of their pursuers to flip so no harm no foul.) Bucky’s prepared to tease him mercilessly but then Tony blurts out, “Oh, wait, does being married before count as a secret?” And Steve and Bucky nearly foam at the mouth because whowhyhow?! “It was a Vegas wedding and we got it annulled when we were sober.” “What’s her name?” Steve hisses. “And her social security number?” Bucky adds. “First of all I can’t even remember my own social, and second you’re not going to kill her because it was Pepper and we were celebrating the great reception of the first StarkPhone.” The idea of trying to kill Pepper is daunting so they settle for grumbling mulishly to each other about it.

I’m not sure what happens next. Maybe they expose all the HYDRA agents in SHIELD, or Fury and Coulson finally catch wind of what’s going on and put a stop to it (but not before a huge shootout because I’m a sucker for those.) All I know is that I want them to end up at a meeting with the marriage counselor and Tony’s complaining about how Steve and Bucky don’t know how to communicate with each other. “Yeah, I really wanted to kill him recently,” Steve jokes. “But I just couldn’t pull the trigger.” “Ha. Haha,” Bucky says. “And I just couldn’t sink the knife into his chest.”

The marriage counselor (probably Bruce tbh the poor guy) says “But hey, you couldn’t do it. That’s good. What about you, Tony?”

“I communicate perfectly!” Tony sputters indignantly.

“Honestly he may communicate too well,” Steve and Bucky admit.

The marriage counselor just makes some interested noises because he isn’t sure what to say. (They eventually work things out though.)

A Cat, a Fox, and a Bee walk into a Bakery 7

“Anyone know where Vixen is? She’s usually here by now?” Marinette asked, not looking up from where she was carefully running a seam through her new sewing machine.

Chat and Queen Bee shared a look, then shrugged.  “She hasn’t called us,” Chat finally answered with a shrug.  “I know she’s said she has little siblings, maybe she’s stuck babysitting?”

“It is raining, maybe she decided to be sensible and stay home,” Queen Bee added, flipping through one of Marinette’s magazines.

A loud thump from Marinette’s balcony made them all jump, and Marinette cursed as her seam went off-track, then frowned in confusion as her trap door was yanked open and a soaking wet Vixen dropped through.

She was normally never that loud…

The sense that something was wrong skyrocketed when Vixen heaved a sob, lifting her head and revealing red-rimmed eyes from crying.

All three were moving before they knew it, although Chat and Queen Bee had already reached Vixen by the time Marinette got to her ladder up to her loft.

“Were you attacked? Are you hurt?” Chat asked, hurriedly checking his teammate over for injuries.

“Tell me who did this, and I’ll make sure they never see the light of day again.” Queen Bee promised darkly, one hand twitching toward her weapon.

By then, Marinette had finished climbing her ladder, and she knelt in front of Vixen, reaching out to gently brush her wet hair back and away from her face.  “Vixen?  What’s wrong?”

The heroine let out another sob and dove forward, tackling Marinette to the floor and clinging tightly as she cried into her chest.  Marinette winced, glancing up at Chat Noir and Queen Bee, then at her bed, before focusing her attention back on Vixen.  Softly, she began running her fingers through wet hair, gently getting out the tangles from her run over.

Getting the hint, Chat and Queen Bee carefully lifted the two girls onto Marinette’s bed, then climbed in on either side, pressing their heads in close to their hurting partner’s. Chat let out his loudest, most comforting purr, and Queen Bee joined Marinette in gently running a hand through Vixen’s damp hair.

Finally, Vixen’s sobs died down enough for her to speak.  “M-my… boyfriend… on and o-off thing… b-broke up with m-me.” Marinette shot Queen Bee a warning glare when the blonde heroine let out a buzzing growl of indignation, but Vixen didn’t seem to register it.  “S-said he c-couldn’t take all the d-disappearances all the t-time.” Another sob, and Chat Noir and Queen Bee pressed closer, shooting each other sympathetic looks over Vixen’s head.  Unfortunately, that was just one of the drawbacks that came with being a hero.

“It’s okay, Vixy,” Queen Bee soothed, voice surprisingly gentle for the normally prickly heroine.

“We’re here.  You’ve got us.  All of us.  And Ladybug, too,” Chat added, pressing his cheek to hers.

“And we’re not going to let you go.” Marinette gave a small grin as Vixen sniffled hard and scrubbed at her eyes before hesitantly glancing up.

“R-really?”

“Yup.  You’re stuck with us.” Chat grinned, impulsively leaning over and pressing a kiss to Vixen’s cheek.  The sound she made was halfway between a laugh and a sob, which he considered at least progress.

Vixen laid her head back down on Marinette’s chest, sniffling a bit.  “Thanks, you guys.”

“Now, of course, you must tell me who broke your heart so that I-“

“Queenie no.”

”Queenie yes.

6

AN : Very quick Christmas imagine for you guys! You can think of it as a part two for ‘Taking the Angels to Church’

-


“I can’t believe this.” You blinked as you stood at the end of the stairs in your father’s house, dressed in your newly bought Christmas pajamas. Sitting around the tree, sat three angels of the lord, Satan himself, and your father stood directly behind the bunch, arms crossed over his chest.

“Merry Christmas!” The angels all said in unison. You blinked again.

“Don’t act so scandalized, love. We’re here to celebrate. We’ll be good.” Balthazar put his hand up as if making an oath. “Now, come and give us a hug.” He approached you with open arms, wrapping you up tightly. “We found out from the Winchester’s that you took off on your little trip without us, so we thought we’d surprise you.” He whispered, only for you to hear. “Surprise.”

“Bal-” You started, but were quickly cut off.

“(Y/n), why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?” Your father asked, eyebrow raised at the sight of you and Balthazar.

“Boyfriend?” Your voice was muffled in the angel’s sweater.

“Oh, she’s always trying to keep our relationship a secret, the sly little minx.” Balthazar kept your face buried in his chest so that you couldn’t object to his statements.

“Balthazar, you idiot.” Lucifer grumbled.

“(Y/n) and Balthazar are not involved.” Castiel clarified with a stern nod.

“Then these are all your.. friends?” Your father gestured to the boys with distaste clear on his face.

“Is that a problem?” Lucifer was the first to pick up on your father’s tone.

“Is it?” Your father snapped.

“Okay!” Gabriel suddenly jumped in before the conversation could get anymore heated, running to you and placing a Santa hat upon your head. “What do you say you show us to your room, huh?” Gabe suggested.

“Great idea.” You uttered, rubbing your eyes in exhaustion.

-

“What’s his problem?” Gabriel asked once you were in the privacy of your bedroom. You sighed, sitting down on the edge of your bed, resting your head in your hands.

“I told you guys not to come here.” You mumbled.

“(Y/n)?” Castiel sat down next to you, a worried expression on his face.

“My father is complicated, to say the least. He doesn’t approve of the way I live, you know, with the Winchesters and with you guys.” You tried explaining. “He’s made it his mission to make my life as hard as possible, so that hopefully, I’ll feel bad for going out on my own and I’ll come back home to stay.”

“Then why are you here?” Lucifer asked the question on everyone’s mind.

“He’s family and I love him.” You shrugged. “No matter how hard he makes things for me, I can’t leave him on his own.”

“You’ve been around those Winchesters for far too long.” Lucifer commented and you laughed a bit.

Gabriel let out a long sigh, sitting down on the other side of you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Merry Christmas, (Y/n).” He slipped a small box into your lap and you furrowed your brows in confusion. “We all chipped in and picked something nice out for you.” He pecked your cheek and then rested his head on your shoulder as you started to unwrap the gift.

“Oh, wow..” You gasped as you opened the box in front of you to reveal a beautiful necklace with your birthstone hanging from a silver chain. “It’s gorgeous. Thank you, guys.” You hugged each of them before putting the chain carefully around your neck.

“Now, let’s go face your devilish father; no offense, Lucy.” Balthazar chirped.

You were smiling softly to yourself as you walked towards your bedroom door when you heard a whisper in your ear. “I have something a little more personal for you once the others place their attention else where.”