this guy is gonna make me crazy

kittyl234  asked:

Hc's for how overwatch reacts to smol S/O?

((Heya so sorry but the max we do is five characters so I hope you don’t mind if it’s only five - Mod Tez))

Originally posted by valrider

Jamison Fawkes

  • He loves how smol his partner is
  • He is 100% the partner that feels proud to get things for you from high shelves.
  • Jamison is also the guy that will give you piggy backs.
  • Instead of him bending down for you to kiss him, he picks you up and has you kiss him. even if you’re not that short.
  • Cuddles with Jamison are the best.
  • Even if he squirms alot, once he gets comfy, he has basically shielded you away from seeing anything.
  • Your face will be pressed against his chest as he softly coos and combs through your hair with his hands.
  • You’ll definitely have soot in your hair but he doesn’t care.
  • He loves you no matter your height.

Originally posted by specta-a

Sombra (the waifu)

  • Is a big teaser
  • She likes to tease you about your height as a joke.
  • Mainly because she’s on the short side herself.
  • If she sees she’s upset you, she totally doesn’t get you a stuffed toy.
  • She is only a little taller than you and so she makes it a duty to bend down for kisses.
  • She likes to put you on her shoulders and say, “I’m your new legs, where do we go amiga?”
  • She isn’t gonna listen where you want to go.
  • I hope you like a walk with your new legs to the ice cream shop.
  • Your new legs love to turn invisible and make people think you float. It totally hasn’t scared grandmas half to death and Sombra definitely didn’t almost die laughing.

Originally posted by birdartonline

Reaper (Gabriel Reyes)

  • Tall and buff and grumpy.
  • The grumpiness is mostly a show cause he’s a drama king.
  • Trust me he could care less for height and actually wouldn’t notice you’re small.
  • He’s crazy used to looking down at people.
  • Will help you out when you need him to help.
  • You want a guy dead for calling you a dwarf, check. You want anyone dead, double check.
  • When he’s being affectionate in private, he likes to put his palm against yours so he can feel your presence, but also look how small your soft hand is against his big, scarred, and calloused hand.
  • He adores your hands and will totally kiss them.
  • When you cuddle at night, he covers you completely, he is the cloud that you can sleep on. He is very soft to touch but very cold. Extra blanket is highly encouraged.

Originally posted by purpledrxgon-archive

Aleksandra Zaryanova

  • She adores small people
  • Will totally pick you up and have you on her shoulders all day.
  • Kisses your forehead, cheeks, lips, everything on you.
  • She is so confident in you being awesome that she wishes you start joining her in the gym.
  • She will personally train you to have thighs and biceps that will make her want you to squeeze her face with.
  • One time she joked in Russian and said, “Buff thighs will save Russia. I believe in them!”
  • During cuddle time, you are sleeping on her chest. She will make you do so.
  • Loves to sing you to sleep with an old Russian lullaby.
  • She doesn’t believe you being small is bad and makes you believe in yourself that you’ll be a great person.

Originally posted by meatwithpotatoes

Bastion (It’s platonic I swEAR!)

  • Bastion is very curios of many things.
  • Height is one of them.
  • He likes to whirr and tilt his head to see if there’s any specific reason why you’re smaller than him and other humans.
  • Bastion chirps like Ganymede when he gives you a piggyback ride.
  • Ganymede responds to the chirps and will rest on the top of Bastion’s head, allowing you to pet him lightly.
  • While people get nerved out you are chilling with a Bastion unit, you really shouldn’t mind. He has the attitude of a five year old.
  • Small things like how small your palm is compared to his hand is very interesting.
  • Even though he can’t talk, he has a slight knowledge of sign language and will sometimes ask you questions about height.
  • He becomes very happy when he learns new things and will totally go to Zenyatta and tell him what he learned from you.
  • Interviewer: Why is your name Markiplier?
  • What Mark says: it's Mark and multiplier, it's my name and that word... that's just it really...
  • What Mark means: haha jokes on you multiplier means I'm gonna make a dark version of myself who wants to possess me and hurt everyone a crazy reporter with a pink mustache who's trigger happy a robot with a primary objective to answer everything but secondary objective to destroy mankind a man who writes and hosts everything that can happens a doctor who tells everything bad and the worst kind a game show host who has a killing rule an obsessed guy to their crush and kills everyone who-
Goodbyes

I’m in the mood to write something sad. So I decided to write about people Bendy cares about dying.

Hell’s Studio AU is by @doodledrawsthings


Bendy had never been any good at goodbyes. As far as he was concerned, they were things that happened to other people. He was a cartoon living with other cartoons. They didn’t age, they didn’t change, they were the same for all eternity. He, Boris, and Alice were going to stay the same for as long as their existences would last. Sure, he’d known Henry and Sammy and Joey weren’t going to live forever, but he hadn’t ever wanted to consider that. They were his family, the only people he could ever rely on. He didn’t want to think about a world where they weren’t there. He wasn’t prepared to deal with something like that. Besides, he didn’t have time to be thinking about things like that. He had a studio to run, deadlines to meet, cartoons to make. He buried himself in his work so that he wouldn’t have to face the mortality of the people he cared most about. Time marched on unbidden though, and soon enough the staff began dying.

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so i saw the book of mormon on the west end and

- ok maybe i started crying during two by two
- the two elders going to japan(?) fist bumped it was so cute
- THE A CAPPELLA DURING TWO BY TWO WAS INCREDIBLE (obviously)
- hasa diga eebowai was one of the best ive ever heard like the chorus of the ugandans…..nice….
- WHEN MAFALA WAS LIKE ‘and hasa diga means…fuck you !’ THERE WAS A STRAIGHT UP 20 SECOND PAUSE AS PRICE AND MAFALA LOOKED OUT AT THE AUDIENCE EVEYONE WAS LOSING THEIR SHIT
- mckinley had a fucking jersey accent im not even kidding
- ok steven webb (the guy who usually plays mckinley) was sick today but his cover was absolutely amazing !!!!
- OK IM NOT JUST SAYING THIS BC IM A MCPRICELY SHIPPER BUT….FUCK mckinkey was T H I R S T I N G
- he booped price in the stomach while he was introducing himself and the other elders about 3 times
- on the line ‘if you ever feel youd rather be with a man’ he put his hand on prices chest and inhaled really sharply
- ‘we’d swim naked in the sea..and then hed try and…’ HE VERY CLEARLY HAD HIS HANDS BY HIS CROTCH OK
- ok you know the whole scene where price is covered in blood and mckinley leans in slightly before regaining his composure ?? WELL THIS mckinley had a full on kissy face like -3- IM NOT EVEN KIDDING
- guys this mckinley was even thirstier than stephen ashfields yall need to get a boot of the current london cast ASAP
- there was no mckinley/price interactions in spooky mormon hell dream ???? damn
- when price woke up mckinley looked like he was abt to give him mouth to mouth he leaned down and got right up in his face
- ‘was i in it’ was fucking ADORABLE mckinley scrunched up the sides of his trousers he looked so nervous
- joseph smith american moses literally got the loudest applause ever omfg
- ONE OF THE ELDERS LITERALLY LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE RORY O MALLEY ?? IT WAS UNCANNY
- baptize me was….so fucking sweet….i think i got a cavity it was got damn adorable
- at one point gotswana and mafala walked off stage holding hands and…..guys i dont make the rules but nabulungi better have two loving fathers in all ur fanfics from now on :///
- during american moses mckinley looked so sad and he looked like he was scolding price and price was just. beyond caring lmfao he didnt give a SHIT
- ok i THOUGHT he wasnt gonna do it… BUT ON THE VERY LAST AD LIB NABULUNGI NAME……CODY PULLED OUT FUCKING ‘NIGEL FARRAGE’ THE AUDIENCE WENT CRAZY
- leanne robinsons nabulungi was by far my favorite nabu. like shes on par with syesha mercado (chicago nabu)
- the line 'nah, you know what guys ? fuck him !’ KJ WENT SO HIGH PITCHED AND FAST WITH 'FUCK HIM’ IT WAS ACTUALLY ADORABLE
- my sister is friends with one of the mormon actors (elder poptarts i think ???) so he let me go backstage and i met kj and cody and i was SHAKING SO MUCH
- kj is so lovely oh my godddd i made him an elder price keyring and he hugged me and i was SHOOK
- i got to look around the stage area and i saw The Real Life Actual Golden Plates and now i feel blessed
- anyway ill probably think of more stuff later but my phones on 3% and im gonna pass out

shadowedsoulforever  asked:

prompt: Tony talking on the phone and being flirty/sassy as always. A pair of pining Supersoldiers hear the phone call and become jealous and sulky thinking Tony's dating someone. So, they decide to continue to pine from afar. However, when it comes to light that the person on the other end of the phone call was Pepper, Bucky and Steve have had enough and decide to bite the bullet and finally confess. Tony, who has been pining for them as well, accepts! Also, bonus smutty ending?

I think this turned out a little different than you wanted, and I switched Pepper to Rhody because I thought it worked better.  Hope you like it!

***********************

“I cant do it.” Steve finally shut his book and tossed it onto the couch, dragging his fingers through his hair. “I cant listen to Tony have one more smarmy, kissy phone call with who ever he is dating. I cant.”

“Tell me about it.” Bucky was face down on the floor, groaning miserably. “I mean, does he have to be so cute with them? Around us?”

“Well its not his fault he doesnt know that we want him.” Steve pointed out. “Its not like he’s purposefully rubbing it in our face. Right? I mean, even if Tony knew how we felt he wouldnt… he wouldnt actually do that on purpose, would he?”

“I dont know. Maybe he’s really that cruel.”

“I refuse to believe that.” Steve said, sounding upset and Bucky shrugged against the floor.

“Hey. We love him in spite of his pettiness, right? If this is what he’ s doing to us then…”

“Oh my gosh, you’re so funny. I cant believe you just said that!” Tony suddenly was back in the room, phone cradled between his ear and his shoulder, eating ice cream and giggling himself half to death over whatever the person on the other line was saying. “Have you been drinking? I love when you’re drunk, jesus christ. You coming home soon? I miss you!”

“Its like the end of the world.” Bucky grabbed a pillow from the couch and slammed it over his ears. “Tell him to shut up.”

“Theres no way in hell Im telling him to–”

“Guys!” Tony snapped and frowned at them. “Im talking. Go complain somewhere else!”

“Thats it.” Bucky jumped to his feet and snatched the phone right out of Tonys hands. “Tony’s gonna have to call you back.” He said to the person on the other end, and hung up before dragging Tony back to the couch to sit between them.

“Tony.” Steve sighed. “Look, sorry about Bucky, first of all. But seriously. Are you doing this on purpose?”

“Doing what? I was on the phone!!”

“Are you purposefully talking to whoever that is in front of us? Because its killing us and–”

“Wait, why would it be killing you?” Tony asked curiously and Bucky groaned.

“Tony. You have to know that we are crazy about you. I mean, neither one of us are very subtle. But then you spend half the day making kissy faces and giggling into the phone and seriously Tony Im gonna lose my goddamn mind.”

“You guys like me.” Tony stated, and his eyes were sparkling. “You like me, and you think Ive been on the phone with someone I like?”

“Well who else do you talk to like that?”

“Um. Its Rhodey.” Tony looked like he was trying not to scream with laughter. “He’s on vacation in the carribean with his family, and has been drunk for days and we have been talking to each other for hours everyday.”

“You call Rhodey honeybear?” Steve said suspiciously and then his face cleared. “Oh my god, you definitely call Rhodey honeybear.”

“Yeah. Since MIT.” Tony still was trying not to laugh. “Um, so you guys have been all bent out of shape because my drunk ass friend has me on speakerphone while he’s picking up chicks and I cant stop laughing about it. So you know.. you two need to chill.”

“God damn it.” Bucky muttered. “Well that was about the least smooth way Ive ever told a fella I was interested in him.”

“It really was.” Tony was biting his lip now, his cheeks bright red. “But you know, Im flattered. Cuz I like you guys too. Both of you. Lots.”

“Yeah?” Steve looked hopeful. “So we didnt ruin this by being ridiculous?”

“No.” Tony shook his head quickly. “Even though, I mean I dont know, you might have to let me top a few times to make up for it.”

Bucky and Steve exchanged a look.

“I am surprisingly okay with that.” Bucky said slowly. “But not this time.”

“This time?” Tony raised an eyebrow, then shrieked when Steve snatched him and tossed him over his shoulder.

“Yeah, we’re gonna wreck you this time, Tony.”

(Mild Smut Under The Cut)

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apisdofdfd I’m super lazy and I’ll probably never write it, but consider a (slightly cracky) Bachelor AU with Magnus as the Bachelor. 

  • So, last season of The Bachelorette, Camille was the lady. He made it to the final two and everyone loved him, everyone thought she was going to pick him for the final rose. 
    • I mean he spoke a zillion languages, was super hot, incredibly funny and very romantic. He was the ideal man and on top of that he dressed to impress. 
  • But she doesn’t! She picks the random Russian guy who is still around. 
  • Cue shock and dismay from the country at large! Because Magnus was L I T 
  • Anyway, when he loses the network asks him to be the next season’s Bachelor. Actually, the First Bisexual Bachelor 
    • And to celebrate they decided to have both men and women compete for his hand in one season!! Wild!!

Keep reading

AlternateUnit! Seventeen

**what if my multitalented boys were put in another unit just for shits and giggles? - my mind when trying to sleep one night**


Hip Hop Unit

> JOSHUA

  • DUH
  • the official FreestyleMaster™ of SVT
  • he doesn’t specialize in acrostic poems for nothing
  • A&W noticed him –> srs creds right there

> THE8

  • ngl i had a hard time placing him
  • his reedy sweet voice was v tempting
  • BUT I WOULD PAY SERIOUS $$ TO SEE THUGHAO DISS THE FUCK OUT OF H8RZ
  • also he’s a well-learned artsy dude who likes reading classics and poetry so he could write super deep verses about life too :’)

> SEUNGKWAN

  • BOONON
  • nuff said
  • /mic drop/

> DINO

  • already an unofficial memeber of hiphop unit anyway
  • whenever this boy raps, it’s like he splashed fresh water onto my face
  • he’s that fresh
  • S L A Y S his parts in Swimming Fool, Highlight, Who…i could go on and on
  • just slays in general

Vocal Unit

> S.COUPS

  • got into Pledis for singing
  • so the guy can sing
  • that one part in DWC killed me
  • also a karaoke STAR even if he goes off key sometimes

> JUN

  • @PLEDIS GIVE. HIM. MORE. LINES.
  • HIS VOICE IS THE SWEETEST THING
  • it’s so smooth?? and soothing??
  • he can sing me to sleep with that gentle voice anytime

> HOSHI

  • A NO-BRAINER
  • HE WOULD BE A LEAD VOCAL FOSHO
  • has a pretty unique voice and it’s very pretty :)
  • his parts in Crazy in Love get me every single time
  • OG WE GONNA MAKE IT SHINE CREW #neverforget

> WONWOO

  • M A I N  V O C A L
  • like he sings random shit all the time in vlives and stuff but
  • SMILE FLOWER SHOOK ME OFF MY TREE (love letter too but i wasnt a carat yet back then my bad)
  • the depth and range of his voice is like Seungkwan’s and DK’s fight me

> MINGYU 

  • had another hard time placing my fave
  • but i love his singing a lot
  • his raspy voice with that slight lisp does things to my heart
  • Lean On Me + Beautiful = end of me

Performance Unit

> JEONGHAN

  • B O I
  • who knew the guy who ranks himself as #13 in stamina dances SO WELL
  • graceful af like the angel he is
  • *cough* MMAs 2016 *cough*

> WOOZI

  • was originally gonna be on perf. team but pledis was like “he should be on vocal cuz he makes the music”
  • which i’m not complaing about cuz it makes sense
  • BUT tis proves he got the skillsss
  • “he moves like a worm…a sexy worm” - actual quote from fellow memeber Yoon Jeonghan

> DK

  • honestly what is up with the ‘97ers being so difficult to place guys why TT
  • ofc he got the Zion T-esque hightone rap up his sleeves
  • BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HIM PERFORM WITH THOSE POWERFUL THIGHS???
  • DID THAT during ISAC
  • you can’t convince me he and hoshi don’t freestyle/dance battle all the time

> VERNON

  • gets an A for effort in my vocal team auditions for trying to hit all of Boo’s high notes but
  • Hansol Vernon Chwe belongs on performance team
  • his hips don’t lie
  • KING OF MEME DANCES
  • also all those little swaggity moves he does when he raps? 👍

this is just my opinion and isn’t meant to be taken super seriously b/c Seventeen is perfect the way they are ❤

babies aren’t so bad
  • headcanon: pidge doesn’t like babies; lance grew up with a lot of them

_____

“I swear to god, Lance, if that’s another big ass spider I am going to beat the quiznak out of you.” Pidge said as she stood a few feet away from an upside down box that was clearly hiding something –although the top part was also open, maybe to give some fresh air to whatever wild animal was in there– on the blanket covered part of the floor. She wasn’t going to trust this tall man with surprises ever again.

Standing beside the said box, Lance couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, seeing how his girlfriend looked like she was so ready to run out to their apartment’s front door. “Come closer, babe. It’s not gonna hurt you.”

“That’s what you said the last time before putting a freaking tarantula on me.”

“You didn’t get hurt though! In fact, you were the one who almost killed the little guy.” He said in the most forced pity voice before gently patting the box. “Besides, this isn’t an animal nor a harmful specie. I’m not going to let anything hurt you, Pidge.”

That last sentence made the small girl blush. He didn’t even say it in a serious tone yet her face heated up like crazy. “Fine.” Pidge said as she finally walked towards the box, making Lance smile wider. She saw how his face turned from really excited to ultra mega excited which she thought was very cute.

“Okay, okay, get ready.” His blue eyes shined as he got himself ready to lift up the box. As Lance started counting down, “3…” She heard a tiny giggle coming from what the box was hiding.

Oh no.

“2…” Random toy sounds echoed throughout the room. “1!” He then finally lifted up the long box, revealing something that was on Pidge’s ‘top 10 most annoying things in the entire universe’ list.

A human. An approximately 10 months old human.

“Tada!” Lance shouted as he threw the box at the side. “It’s a baby!”

“I can see that.” Said Pidge with an expression that screamed 'it’s cute but i don’t wanna touch it.’ It wasn’t that she hated babies or something. She actually thought they were fascinating and adorable, and didn’t mind having maybe a couple in the future. But the thing was, she wasn’t really good with them yet, considering how she was the youngest child, –and the youngest cousin of her cousins– she have never interacted with babies before. All she knew was that they were cute and unbelievably annoying.

“You said you didn’t mind having a kid right?”

Pidge almost choked on her own saliva. “Well, yeah m-my– mine.” Lance almost choked on thin air from laughing. “Whose vagina did that come out of?”

The brunette then pushed up her glasses with her small fingers as she kneeled down to look closer at the little human girl with dark skin, pretty blue eyes, long eyelashes and– “Wait.” Looking at her boyfriend, Pidge let out her sarcasm and curiosity through a question. “Is this yours?”

“WHAT? No! She’s my sister’s. I would never–!” Lance immediately answered which was cut off by her snort.

“Lance, I’m joking. Why’d you bring this here?” She said, pointing at the baby.

The baby then grabbed Pidge’s finger.

The room was silent for a second when Lance suddenly screeched so high it made both his girlfriend and niece flinch. “That is the cutest thing! Ely likes you, Pidge!”

“Ely huh?” She said as she felt her heart melting at how Ely’s tiny hand was playing with Pidge’s tiny in adult size finger. It was adorable. Perhaps babies aren’t so bad after all?

Oh. Nope. It’s bad. Pidge thought a few seconds after when Ely suddenly opened her arms, looking at the brunette with the cutest little smile. It took her a moment to realize what the baby wanted though. “Uhm.” She bit her lip, feeling a little anxious for she had no idea how to properly do it.

Lance noticed this, making his thin eyebrows furrow in concern. Although he had a good guess on what was bothering her, he still worriedly asked. “What’s wrong, Pidge?”

For a moment, she felt a hint of embarrassment. Katie “Brains of the team.” Holt knew how to easily hack a large galra ship but when it came to the simplest things like carrying a child in her arms? She had no idea. “I haven’t really carried one of these before so I don’t know.” She confessed as if Lance didn’t already know that.

“Here, let me help.” The blue paladin said as he moved closer to his niece. “Watch and learn, Pidgeon.” He gave her his usual confident smirk, making her roll her eyes playfully. “Okay, Elena, we’re gonna show Aunt Katie the basics of baby carrying.” This made both Ely and Pidge giggle as he first explained the do’s and don'ts of lifting a fragile child.

Pidge was listening carefully, yes. But she just couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment as she thought about how Lance would be such a great father and husband. Her heart tingles at the thought.

After probably a couple minutes lecture, Lance was finally letting Pidge carry Ely. He helped her on properly positioning the baby in her arms. A few 'be careful’ and 'i got it’ later, Pidge was then carrying Ely like she was her own.

“There you go!” The tall boy smiled sweetly, appreciating the sight before him. His girlfriend, his teammate, his future, his everything, Katie Holt holding a baby. It just looked so beautiful in Lance’s eyes. The thought of growing old and having a family with her was just enough to put him at ease, it was just enough to make his heart melt because fuck he was in love. Lance was in love with Katie, with Pidge.

“You know…” She spoke. “Babies aren’t so bad.”

“Oh yeah? Wanna make our own?” He asked, winking.

“Let’s try later.” Pidge winked back, causing Lance’s heart to jump from his chest to his throat, his face to blush, and his love for her to grow.

_____
a/n: a contribution to this beautiful ship. this was supposed to be a crack fic but i ended up writing semi fluff wow.

anyways, i am back and i wanna write more lol if you guys have any ideas or requests, my ask box is always open so y'know.

p.s english isn’t my first language so i’m v sorry for all the grammatical errors.

*Tease* (Part Five)

Lots of sweet talk, lots of dirty talk, Tony starts out trying to tease Bucky and loses control of the moment fairly quickly, but he’s not upset about it!

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE

Enjoy the hell out this guys!

********************************

“Hey sweet thing.” Bucky said softly, and Tony paused in tying his robe, sending a smile towards his boyfriend.

“Hey Bucky bear. What are you doing? Thought you were heading out with the guys for your usual insane morning run.”

“I was.” Bucky closed their bedroom door and stalked towards him, blue eyes lit with want. But it’s been a few days since we– since we had a chance to–”

“Oh.” Tony leaned back into Bucky’s arms as they circled his waist. “Sorry honey.”

He had been sore for days after his ahem ‘yoga session’ with Steve, sore to the point where he hadn’t even let Bucky look at him, much less get farther than just some light cuddles, and Bucky was starting to get desperate.

“It’s alright.” Bucky kissed his shoulder gently. “I just miss you, Tony. Steve told me about how much fun you guys had and I—”

“Are you jealous that I had a special outfit for Steve and not for you?” Tony teased, and Bucky kissed his shoulder again, letting his teeth scrape lightly over the skin.

“I wouldn’t say jealous.” he mumbled and Tony shrugged.

“Well if you aren’t jealous, I suppose I don’t need to be wearing this—” he let go of the ties on his robe so it slipped from his shoulders just enough to show a bit of lace covering his chest. “I was just going to wear it under my shirt and let you find it later but–”

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✰ * º ❛ how to lose a guy in 10 days sentence starters. ❜

          (   part of the rom com series   )

‘  our love fern! you let it die!  ’
‘  no, honey. it’s just sleeping.  ’
‘  unattached?  ’
‘  psycho?  ’
‘  interested?  ’
‘  hungry?  ’
‘  you can’t lose something you never had.  ’
‘  i’m gonna make you wish you were dead.  ’
‘  poor guy.  ’
‘  listen, you can’t name my… member princess sophia.  ’
‘  is she on something?  ’
‘  are you saying i’m some kind of mental person?  ’
‘  true or false: all’s fair in love and war.  ’
‘  let’s take a break because the woman is driving me crazy.  ’
‘  so that’s what i was, huh? i was a guinea pig. somebody you can test you theories on?  ’
‘  i was just a girl somebody picked out in a bar.  ’
‘  you know what? big deal!  ’
‘  hell, i’m sure now you can even use it as a little twist in your story.  ’
‘  that’s a good idea. maybe we should bet on it.  ’
‘  you wanted to lose a guy in ten days, congratulations, you just did it. you lost him.  ’
‘  you’re the first girl he ever brought home.  ’
‘  don’t you break his heart.  ’
‘  the one night that we even thought about having sex, she up and decides she’s going to name my penis princess sophia.  ’
‘  you owe me three hundred bucks.  ’
‘  c’mon, blow. nobody likes a mr. sniffles.  ’
‘  i hate mr. sniffles.  ’
‘  do you have an ethical problem with rifling through a woman’s purse?  ’
‘  it’s hardly a purse, dude. it’s more like a clutch or something.  ’
‘  a woman’s purse is the secret source of power.  ’
‘  there are many dark and dangerous things in there, that we, the male species, should know nothing about it.  ’
‘  my boyfriend thinks i’m fat!  ’
‘  so, tell me, how long have you guys been seeing each other?  ’
‘  i love you, binky… but i don’t have to like you right now.  ’
‘  you see, the key to this game is being able to read people.  ’
‘  where’s the sexy, cool, fun, smart, beautiful you i met?  ’
‘  you’re up, you’re down, you’re here, you’re there – you’re like a frickin’ one woman circus.  ’
‘  due to intense humiliation, the king has momentarily abdicated his throne, okay?  ’
‘  take care of our love fern, honey.  ’
‘  now i’m going to go back inside and finish watching ‘sleepless in seattle’. nobody screw with me.  ’
‘  i don’t think i can be with someone who doesn’t like animals and thinks i’m a mental person.  ’
‘  look, just give me back the necklace and then you guys can go kill each other.  ’
‘  oh, you are never going to pull this off.  ’
‘  tonight, i’ll hook a guy. tomorrow, pull the switch. before the ten days are up, i’m going to have this guy running for his life.  ’
‘  you’re not going to burn his apartment down or bite him, or anything?  ’
‘  the whole family suffers from tourette’s, i hope that’s not a problem.  ’
‘  *points to crotch* does princess sophia want to come out and play?  ’
‘  drunk and tone-deaf is not a good combination.  ’
‘  you named my penis after a dame!  ’
‘  you’re so vain.  ’
‘  you probably think this song is about you. you probably think this song is about you, don’t you?  ’
‘  you fooled me to win a bet and you should feel ashamed.  ’
‘  you took me to a goddamn celine dion concert.  ’
‘  you made me miss the big game!  ’
‘  oh, smart guy’s a rhymer!  ’
‘  do we want everyone to know that you’re love making is lame?  ’
‘  you know, i really think you have to get over that.  ’
‘  c’mon, you’re so vain. you know that this song is about you, don’t you?  ’
‘  is this true or are you just trying to sell magazines?  ’
‘  i meant every word.  ’
‘  where are you going?  ’
‘  no, i’m not buyin’ that. i think you’re running away.  ’
‘  why don’t you save your mind games for your next bet?  ’
‘  bullshit.  ’
‘  you heard me: bullshit.  ’
‘  i love everything about this house… the noise, the smells.  ’
‘  when your mom hugged me today, she really hugged me… for winning a game of bullshit.  ’
‘  okay, that’s it. that’s good. at least you’re scaring me.  ’
‘  i’m taking this love fern with me!  ’
‘  you gotta watch him, he farts like a howitzer, but he’s family.  ’
‘  why do they always forget my bacon?  ’
‘  i can’t believe you got that guy knocked out.  ’
‘  when are you seeing him again?  ’
‘  disgusting! i can barely eat over here.  ’
‘  i have to crack this guy. i mean, this is defcon 5 and i have to do something truly appalling.  ’
‘  like, do blondes, like, do they have more fun?  ’
‘  hanging out with her for ten days is gonna be no problem.  ’
‘  oh, you are already falling in love with me.  ’
‘  you’re not a therapist, are you?  ’
‘  seven days isn’t like a lifetime or anything but…  ’
‘  smile. now give me a smile.  ’

Writing my feels for VIXX 😭😂

I couldn’t shot a decent video while VIXX were on. I promised myself not make a crazy scene and try to get a fancam but I lost it right when Shangrila started to play. I was screaming my lungs out, I lost my voice. The two guys next to me gave me weird looks because I was quiet through out all performances of the other artists then completely lost my sanity when it was their turn. 😂 I met a fellow starlight who was seating next to me who also can’t managed to keep herself together. 😂 And so many non-fans turning into one 🙌🏼 THEY SLAYED IN EXCELSIS!!!

During VIXX Fanmeeting, Ravi & Leo kept ignoring me 😭 coz I keep calling them out (I wasn’t yelling or anything, I just kept saying “Hi Ravi! Hi Leo!”, I’m a little sad) 😅 so I said hi to Hongbin instead during photo-op and he immediately responded and said Hi as well (I almost died, those damn dimples man, they show up and suck your soul) then I just kept making finger hearts to Ken (he smiled at me and it was magical… LIKE UNICORN WERE FLYING EVERYWHERE MAGICAL) Hyogie is a giant OMFG!!! He’s all grown up and so manly and so cute at the same time. How is that possible? HE WAS BEING SO ADORABLE!!! And let me tell you about Hakyeon!!! HIS SKIN COLOR IS SOOOO NICE AND HE WAS GLOWING (ALL OF THEM ACTUALLY AND I THOUGHT I WAS SEEING ANGELS). He seemed a bit tired though. The MC actually said that both him and N represent dark-skinned people in Kpop and everyone cheered and Hakyeon smiled at us.. He was genuinely happy. Anyway back to my main biases, Ravi’s handsomeness can’t be captured in films!!! HE’S WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY BETTER LOOKING IN PERSON. He seemed so shy too.. I wanted to ask about his “butt” but the only word that came out of my mouth was “Hi” repeated. 😭😭😭 Leo on the other hand is so elf life.. Idk how to say it, maybe I’m just being biased 😅 but words fail me. I can’t seem to find a word to describe how good-looking and ethereal he is. It’s like is he even real???? Idk guys, I just felt that I was dreaming the whole entire time, everything happened so fast. I’m just writing this down so I don’t forget any details and during the audience pass for VIXX, N danced to Despacito 🙌🏼

And you, you make my desire run hot
Hot as the desert sands
Your eyes have the power to warm me like no others can. [x]

We’re all four years older, but still everyone’s crazy for this guy. Go figure, lol.

I was gonna shade Tennessee in, but I have enough on my art plate as it is, so I left him with flat colors. Sorry haha. xP

@kingncp @fish-cooper

I think i have a fear of commitment. A guy asked me out in Saturday, but when he called our “hanging out” a date made me rethink everything. I’m pretty independant and i don’t like getting pressured. I know it makes me sound crazy, but calling our date a date it’s stressing me out because a date implies all kinds of expectations and i’m not sure i’m gonna meet all of them. When i heard the word date in my head i was like “get out of the building, run for your life”. Am i crazy ?

Truth or Dare with the Marauders
  • James: Truth or Dare?
  • Sirius: Dare.
  • James: How about you steal Mcgo-
  • Sirius: Wow i can't believe i have to snog mooney!
  • Peter: ...
  • Sirius: Guys this is gonna be SO embarrassing! I can't believe you are making me do this
  • Peter: Every damn time.
  • James: Sirius, you really don't have to-
  • Sirius: Okay you guys are too crazy, But here i go!
Truth Or Dare

This is an Avengers crash/crack fic. It is absurd and Loki is here.

“This is an emergency. Everybody report to the living room at once- auth. Tony Stark,” announced JARVIS.

 This caused a bit of chaos around the tower. JARVIS repeated the announcement with double the urgency.

 Thor burst into the designated room, vanilla icing smeared on his face, brandishing Mjolnir.

 Steve followed, sprinting into the room showing clear signs of having hurried into his uniform- his shirt was inside out.

  With a poof, Loki teleported beside Tony wearing nothing but a pair of bright green briefs with gold L’s on them, socks and his helmet.

 Bruce had just finished Hulking out in his special cell. He hurried in, holding up his recently enlargened pants.

  Nat followed Bruce, looking collected and alert.

Last of all, Clint, soaking wet with with shampoo bubbles in his hair and a patterned Iron Man towel around his waist ran in, holding a cluster of arrows he had haphazardly grabbed.

  “What’s happening?” he asked, waving about the arrows. “Loki lost his conk again?”

 "No,“ said Tony. "But I’m flattered, Legolas.”

“What- oh,” said Clint, looking at his towel and going red.

  “Loki- you have personalized boxers?” asked Nat with a snigger.

 "May I ask what your ardent interest in and about my boxers is?“ shot Loki, smirking.

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Tattoo (Ethan)

anonymous: Can you make an imagine? G or E being a tattoo artist and while tattooing you he slowly falls in love with you?

Originally posted by itsjoanneee

You were a Youtuber, you did whatever your fans wanted. Which meant if you had to do crazy things you would do them, anything for your fans whom you loved so much. This particular video you were really nervous for but you were going to do it anyway. “Hey guys, whats up it’s Y/N and me and my two amazing friends; Eliana and Scott are going to be spinning a wheel to see what our punishments are gonna be.” You smiled at the camera while your two friends came into frame they waved at the camera smiling from ear to ear. “Alright guys, you ready?” They nodded and Scott spun the wheel. The three of you watched it spin you wanted him to get the shock collar but of course it landed on a pass you looked at him then back at the camera “That is not fair at all.” He stuck his tongue out and Eliana spun the wheel. Her face dropped as it landed on habanero- pepper and taser “No, there’s no way I can do that.” You laughed spinning the wheel, you kept laughing not noticing the wheel landed on tattoo, your smile immediately dropped “No! No!” You screamed looking at your friends “If I get a tattoo with you do i still have to do the hot sauce and taser?” Your friend looked at you with hopeful eyes you shook your head “But you still have to do the taser.” She groaned and nodded “Fine.” You looked at the camera “Well, let’s go get the tattoos.” You put your hand over the lens, picking up the camera “Alright let’s go, I know a great place to get a tattoo.” Your friend exclaimed as you grabbed the camera. After about 20 minutes in the car you were there, you turned your camera on looking at the building then back at your camera. “So, we’re here. I’m nervous as hell but let’s go get some tattoos.” You handed your camera off to your friend Scott. As the three of you walk in you see this boy he was absolutely gorgeous, his curls covering the top of his eyes, his tongue out concentrating on the tattoo he was drawing, he looked up immediately locking eyes with you, he smiled and stood up to greet the three of you. “Hey Scott what’s up?” They did the guy handshake smiling at each other “These two are getting a tattoo” Ethan looks between the two of you and smirks then looks back at Scott “What about you man?” Scott shook his head “I have enough” Ethan raised his eyebrow “You have none” “Exactly.” Everyone laughed you looked at your camera “Let’s get this over with.” You walked over to the table/bed thingy looking at all the drawings “Eli, I’m picking yours” Her head snapped towards Scott and she shook her head looking back at you. You shrugged smiling a bit flipping through the pictures “Can I pick yours?” You looked up at Ethan shrugging “Sure why not, you look like you have good taste. I trust you.” You smiled holding the camera up. You looked straight at the camera smiling wide “Lets do it.” You handed your camera off to Scott laying on the bed/table “So I’ve always wanted a tattoo on the side of my rib cage, hopefully it doesn’t hurt too much. I also don’t know what I’m getting but I trust Ethan oddly enough, lets get to it.” You laid on your side lifting your shirt you told Ethan you didn’t want to see it at all so your reaction for the camera was real so you told him to do the best he could after about an hour of you wincing and biting your lip to keep from screaming Etha was finally done. “Alright, I’m done.” He did one more wipe down over your tattoo allowing you to check it out.

-Ethan’s POV-

My god this girl is gorgeous and I’m not talking about her looks, those are a bonus. Her soul, her personality, how she interacts with the camera, her friends. Scott told me about her and I watched her videos, but she’s even better in person and the fact that I got to tattoo her made it even better. I watched her as she looked at her tattoo, I knew she’d like it, it said “Outer beauty attracts, but inner beauty captivates.” With a bunch of Roses behind the words. Her face lit up smiling wide damn her smile was gorgeous, I have a lot of pretty girls come in here but they don’t compare to the inner beauty this girl has. I have caught myself staring at her a couple times while I was wiping the extra ink away I couldn’t help it she was mesmerizing. “What do you think? The roses will lighten up in a couple days and you’ll see the words better.” She smiled and looked at me I could get used to that smile… Am I falling for her? I never felt like this before I don’t know this feeling. Apparently I was staring at her because she had this weird look on her face I blinked my eyes a couple times “I’m sorry what did you say?” She smiled once more and licked her lips “I love it, its amazing you have a real talent.” I couldn’t help but smile “Thank you, please come back any time you want.” She reached for her wallet and I put up my hand “No charge, its on me.” She thanked me with a hug I wrapped my arms around her waist breathing in her scent. I don’t know if this is weird or not but I don’t know what else to do, and the next thing I knew the words came out like vomit “Y/N? Can I ask you something? Off camera.” She turned her camera off walking over to the side with me I took a deep breath it was now or never. “I was wondering if I could take you out sometime, if not I completely understand.” She giggled which was music to my ears “I would love to Ethan. Here’s my number.” She wrote down her number on a piece of paper handing it to me she winked and walked out with her friends. I actually did it, next step, telling her I fell in love with her.


masterlist

anonymous asked:

Hi do you by any chance take my spell request? My request is a little different and Maybe you won't take it. I'm in a relationship with a guy for 4 years now and he's not at all possessive about me. You're a girl and you know it's good if someone is possessive about you. Can you make a spell for me that would make him possessive of me and not in a creepy/crazy sense. Something that would make him a lil jealous. Thank you very much n I will understand if you reject my request.

“As a girl” ehhhhhhhh… I’m just gonna tiptoe around that.

Idk how to respond to this entirely. Personally, my past relationships have been clingy and overwhelming, and possessive to a scary degree, so I’m a little reluctant to write one of those, lest it goes sour. It’s really important to retain your own identity inside a relationship and it’s really hard to do that when you don’t have your space.

But I do know it’s nice to feel wanted and needed, so here’s a softer version of what you asked for.

show me your love spell

Dry some rose petals and crush them, add dill. Put a little in his pillowcase.

make a little circle out of the rest of the herbs, put the candle in the center. Burn it and chant,
 
“by rosemary and dill this spell starts
Draw me closer and show your cares
As ive held you in my arms
And you hold me in your heart.”

SAVE THE HERBS IN A BAG or something. If the spell becomes too much, so you can salt and burn them to end it.

Use this spell with caution.

Bad Company (Part 1)

tagged; @sunkissedsam@dammitjensen@angvlicmish@teamfreewill-imagine@deanscolette

(if you want/don’t want to be tagged then please let me know)

part 2 part 3

This started as a one-shot then turned into a series. How this happened I have no clue but here we are. Yeah this is pretty short but this is just to warm y’all up cause it’s gonna get crazy later ;)

Pairing: Dean x Female!Reader

Warnings: none.

Word count: 614

You were sitting at a table all by yourself texting the guy that was supposed to be with you. He of course wasn’t responding to your messages which only made you more and more irritated. You got up from your seat to sit at the bar. “What can I get ya arlin’” the bartender asked as he cleaned a glass, “Whiskey please” you sighed getting your wallet out of your purse until you were stopped by a voice next to you.

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