“Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
“You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
“What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
“I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
“If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
“What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
“I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
“I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
“You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
“I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
“What is this, a concert for ants???”
“I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
“When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
“The wolves eat tonight.”
“Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
"When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
“Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
“How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
“I think I misplaced my right hand”
“I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
“Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
“Have your eyes always been that colour?”
“I’m going to fight the sun!”
“You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
“I’m not into that kinda thing.”
“Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
“I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
“Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
“Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
“What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
“What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
“Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
“Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
“This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
“Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
“ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
“Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
“Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
“Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
“Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
“Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
“Wait. You’re aroused?”
“Why would that surprise you?”
“It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
“okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
“I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
“I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
"Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
“how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
“…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
“For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
“Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
“Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
“_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
“What the heck happened while I was at the store?
"What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
“Despreate times call for cows.”
“Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
“You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
“Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
“Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
“Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
“I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
“I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
“I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
“Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
“So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
“dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
“Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
“What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
“PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
“PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
“What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
“Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
“You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
“Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
“Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
“So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
“Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
“Tell me why, exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
“Look, I’m not a liar, alright? And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me. So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now. And maybe a million dollars.”
“Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
“Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
“Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
“Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
“Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
“This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
“So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
“I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
“Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
“Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
“I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
“Every time you speak I literally die a little”
“One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”
“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)
1: “ Give me a chance. ”
2: “ Not you again.. ”
3: “ Leave me alone. ”
4: “ I don’t love you anymore. ”
5: “ Why do you hate me? ”
6: “ I lost the baby. ”
7: “ I thought you loved me. ”
8: “ I don’t need you anymore. ”
9:“ I can’t believe you! ”
10: “ We cant keep this up forever. ”
11: “ You’re a monster. ”
12: “ I hate you. ”
13: “ Don’t leave me… ”
14: “ You’re a disappointment. ”
15: “ Don’t die on me– Please. ”
16: “ I never meant to hurt you. ”
17: “ Are you upset with me? ”
18: “ I wish i’d never met you. ”
19: “ I’m going to kill you! ”
20: “ Please don’t hurt me like this. ”
21: “ Thanks for nothing. ”
22: “ Dont call this number again. “
23: “ Why did you spare me? ”
24: “ You need to leave. ”
25: “ I’m sick. ”
26: “ I’m dying. ”
27: “ I wish i’d never met you. ”
28: “ I thought we were family!”
29: “ There was never an us. ”
30: “ So that’s it? It’s over? ”
31: “ I fucked up. ”
32: “ I came to say goodbye. ”
33:“ He’s dead because of you. ”
34: “ I don’t deserve to be loved. ”
35: “ About the baby… Its yours. ”
36: “ I’m so in love with you. ”
37: “ Dance with me! ”
38: “ Isn’t this amazing? ”
39: “ I wish we could stay like this forever. ”
40: “ Will you marry me? ”
41: “ I’m pregnant. ”
42: “ I need a hug. ”
43: “ You’re special to me. ”
44: “ I’m going to keep you safe. ”
45: “ Do you trust me? ”
46: “ Can I kiss you right now? ”
47: “ You’re cute when you’re angry. ”
48: “ I’ve liked you for awhile now. ”
49: “ Lets have a baby. ”
50: “ We’d make such a cute couple. ”
51: “ I want to take care of you. ”
52: “ Can we cuddle? ”
53: “ It’s lonely here without you. ”
54: “ I can’t stand the thought of loosing you. ”
55: “ Shut up and kiss me already. ”
56: “ Are you flirting with me? ”
57: “ Is that my shirt? ”
58: “ How did we get here? ”
59: “ You own my heart. ”
60: “ You’d be a great dad. ”
61: “ You’d be a great mom. ”
62: “ I want to protect you. ”
63: “ Whats the matter? ”
64: “ You’re so beautiful. ”
65: “ Did you do something different with your hair? ”
66: “ Is that a new perfume? ”
67: “ Stop being so cute. ”
68: “ You’re making me blush! ”
69: “ You’re teasing me again… ”
70: “ This is why I fell in love with you. ”
71: “ You’re the best! ”
72: “ They’re going to love you, don’t worry! ”
73: “ Oh, Are you ticklish? ”
74: “ Of course I remembered! ”
75: “ You’re one hell of a girl. ”
76: “ You’re one hell of a guy. ”
77: “ Are you jealous? ”
78: “ Hold me and never let me go. ”
79: “ Stop hogging all the blankets! ”
80: “ Lets run away together. ”
90: “ Catch me if you can! ”
91: “ I’m fine. ”
92: “ Are you drunk? ”
93: “ Are you high? ”
94: “ We cant go in there… ”
95: “ Give it back! ”
96: “ Well this is just great. ”
97: “ Don’t touch me. ”
98: “ Not sure if you could tell, but I’m not exactly a people person. ”
99: “ This was fun— Lets do it again sometime!”
100: “ I didn’t do it! ”
101: “ I did it… ”
102: “ I don’t remember that! ”
103: “ Well that’s pretty rude of you to say. ”
104: “ Get that thing away from me! ”
105: “ You owe me. ”
106: “ Do you believe in aliens? ”
107: “ Do you believe in ghosts? ”
108: “ Are you hitting on me? ”
109: “ Why are you naked? ”
110: “ You did what?! ”
111: “ You have… Superpowers? ”
112: “ Why are you bleeding? ”
113: “ Where did all these puppies come from?”
114: “ Don’t make me come over there myself! ”
115: “ That wasn’t funny. ”
116: “ This tastes horrible. ”
117: “ This is delicious! ”
118: “ Are you mad at me? ”
119: “ Stop ignoring me… ”
120: “ I love that show too! ”
121: “ Can I borrow that book of yours?”
122: “ Lets blow this joint. ”
123: “ Let me help you with that. ”
124: “ Take that back! ”
125: “ Wanna go see a movie with me? ”
126: “ No way, that’s so lame. ”
127: “ What are you listening to? ”
128: “ I brought you your coffee. ”
129: “ Don’t fuck this up. ”
130: “ Run! ”
131: “ Lets run away together. ”
132: “ I haven’t slept in four days… ”
133: “ Your turn to do the dishes. ”
134: “ Was I really that drunk? ”
135: “ Was I really that stoned? ”
136: “Give me back my phone! ”
137: “ You’re an asshole. ”
138: “ Are you cold? ”
139: “ This place gives me the creeps. ”
140: “ I swear my house is haunted. ”
141: “ Did you hear that? ”
142: “ It’s just your imagination. ”
143: “ Just how stupid do you think I am? ”
144: “ Stop being such a baby. ”
145: “ Go back to bed. ”
146: “ Are you okay? ”
147: “ I can take care of myself just fine.”
148: “ Thanks for helping me back there. ”
149: “ Since when have we ever been friends? ”
150: “ What on earth are you wearing? ”
151: “ I can’t feel my legs! ”
152: “ Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. ”
153: “ Put me down! ”
154: “ There’s only one bed… ”
155: “ It isn’t what it looks like! Okay.. Maybe it is… ”
156: “ How did I loose it? ”
157: “ I read your diary. ”
158: “ This is awkward. ”
159: “ Didn’t you read the sign? ”
160: “ Do you think you can teach me that? ”
Below is NSFW prompts. Please if you’re rebloggling tell your followers if you’re interested or not in taking these sorts of requests.
161: “ Bite me. ”
162: “ Make me. ”
163: “ Fuck me. ”
164: “ Stop teasing me so much… ”
165: “ Do you like it when I touch you like that?”
166: “ Okay.. This is new. ”
167: “ Want to head back to my place and have a little fun? ”
168: “ You’re in trouble now. ”
169: “ What a pretty sight. ”
170: “ Bend over. ”
171: “ On your knees. ”
172: “ The food looks great but.. There’s something much more delicious i’d like to eat right now. ”
173: “ Lay back. ”
174: “ Take off your clothes. ”
175: “ Well, fine; just this once. ”
176: “ I’m waiting. ”
177: “ You’re so beautiful. ”
178:“ As you wish. ”
179: “ First one to make a noise looses.”
180: “ You have no idea what you do to me. ”
181: “ If you’re bored; Wanna have sex? ”
182: “ Ive wanted this for so long. ”
183: “ Car sex looks so much more easier in the movies. ”
184: “ Can I touch you? ”
185: “ Open up. ”
186: “ No strings attached. ”
187: “ Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? ”
188: “ Mine. ”
189: “ The nights still young. ”
190: “ We cant do that here! ”
191: “ Behave. ”
192:“ What did you just say? ”
193: “ Good girl. ”
194: “ Good boy. ”
195: “ Come here. ”
Hey so you prob have v v many prompts but like I would love to suggest one.. Okay so, Dan is a very confident slutty pastel teenager and Phil is a badass punk boy that everyone fawns over.. and they absolutely hate each other but one thing leads to another and they end up at the same party where Phil is dared to fuck Dan in front of everyone.. (LOTS OF DEGRATION, and dom Phil and sub dan)
a 👌 classic 👌👌
*small mention of rape*
dirty talk + degrading + lots of language idk it’s one am
“You look like a slut.” PJ handed Dan a drink, leaning against the counter next to him, raising his eyebrows.
“Thanks, that was the point.” Dan winked, hiking up his already far too short baby blue shorts. PJ rolled his eyes.
“You’re gonna get raped.”
“Um, excuse me, I can take care of myself.” Dan took a sip from the red plastic cup, frowning. “I haven’t gotten raped yet, have I?”
PJ shook his head, staring at Dan like he didn’t understand him one bit. “I just don’t get why you want to look like you strip for truckers.”
Dan pursed his lips, shifting his pink sweater so it hung on him perfectly, showing just the right amount of collarbone. He smirked.
“That’s probably because you’re a virgin, honey.”
PJ pretended to flinch, shaking his head. “Ouch. That was harsh.”
Dan just shrugged, licking his lips.
“Hey Dan,” PJ started, his eyes lighting up as he stared at something across the room. “Your boyfriend’s here.”
“Shit,” Dan groaned, not even having to look, but he did anyways.
Phil Lester had just entered the room, fully clad in black and far too many zippers.
He was wearing a black leather jacket and t shirt, his jeans the same shade, what a surprise. On his feet were large motorcycle boots. Dan scowled.
He had about five people practically hanging off his arms, Dan hated him.
“He thinks he’s so hot,” Dan grumbled, glaring at his cup. “He thinks he can get anyone he fucking wants, what a twat.”
“Aw,” PJ grinned. “Dan’s got a crush.”
“Fuck you,” Dan growled, punching him on the arm, hard. “I’m as close to having a crush on him as I am to fucking him.”
“Dan, you’re literally the sluttiest person I have ever met.”
Dan rolled his eyes. “I’ll fuck almost anyone BUT him.”
Dan raised his eyebrows, amused. “No. You’re drunk.”
“C'mon Dan,” his friend Chris whined, tugging at his sleeve. “It’ll be fun!”
“No, it won’t.” Dan pulled his hand away. “It’ll be a lot of drunk guys daring me to jerk them. I’m not playing.”
Chris sighed, crossing his arms. “Dan, I hate to do this, but if you don’t come I’ll tell everyone that you hooked up with Mr. Parker over the summer.”
Dan’s eyes widened, and he glared at him. “You wouldn’t.”
“I would.” Chris smirked. Dan scowled at his friend.
“Fine. Fuck you, fine. Let’s get this over with.”
The game of truth or dare was happening in one of the bedrooms; Dan was fairly certain it belonged to the kid’s parents. It consisted of a bunch of drunk sweaty teens that had formed a circle, passing around risky orders and questions in excited whispers.
Dan sat down between Chris and PJ, running his fingers through his hair. He shot a glare at Phil across the circle, who was staring at him.
The first ten minutes were normal. The other kids basically ignored Dan, focusing on one person after another. They seemed to change their focus often; singling out one poor soul after another. Soon the focus was on Phil.
“If you had to fuck anyone in this group, who would it be?” Some guy asked Phil, and Dan looked up, for some reason interested to hear the answer.
Phil smirked, glancing around at everyone before his eyes landed on Dan. He laughed.
“Probably not him,” he said, grinning cockily. “I wouldn’t want to catch anything.”
Dan felt a pang shoot through his chest, and he crossed his arms.
“Fuck you, Lester. At least I don’t have to wear animal skin to look bad ass,” he shot back. Phil glared at him.
The rest of the group fell fairly silent, and Dan was highly aware of everyone’s eyes on them. Finally Chris spoke.
“Okay but, you guys should fuck.”
There was some mutual agreement, and Dan’s eyes widened.
“Yeah, no, for once I agree with you. Hell no.” Phil shook his head, looking shocked.
“With a few more drinks, you two will be all over each other.” A boy, Dan thought he remembered his name was Charlie and that he was the kid this house belonged to, said, taking a swig of his beer. There was some nodding from the other people.
“That’s not true,” Dan mumbled, crossing his arms.
“Alright, is no one going to say it?” Chris glanced around the circle. “Fine, I will. I dare you two to kiss.”
“Fuck no,” Dan said immediately, before Phil could even respond. “I’m not doing that.”
“Dan, don’t be a pussy,” Phil growled in a voice Dan was fairly certain he had never heard from him before. “It’s a dare.”
“You’re seriously agreeing to this?” Dan scoffed. Phil shrugged.
“Well, I’m not scared of a little dare.”
“Oh, fuck you,” Dan mumbled, sighing and moving closer to him, on his knees. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”
Phil smirked, leaning forward and pulling Dan forward by his shirt so he was practically sitting in his lap. Dan hardly had time to react, let alone speak, before Phil was pressing their lips together. Dan just let it happen; it only lasted a second before Phil was pulling back and it was over.
“No no no,” Chris said, grinning. “That doesn’t count. You have to really kiss, for at least ten seconds.”
“Seriously?” Dan asked, and his friend just shrugged. Phil mumbled something under his breath, tangling his fingers in Dan’s hair and tugging him back roughly.
This time Phil kissed him open mouthed, their lips clashing and sliding together. Dan was highly aware of Phil’s tongue invading his mouth, and he fought back with his own.
Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck, kissing him deeper and clutching at his shirt, so lost in the feeling that he didn’t hear Chris shouting that their time was up.
Finally Dan pulled back, mostly because he needed to breathe, and frowned when he realized everyone was staring at him. Including Phil.
Everyone was quiet, mostly in shock, until a boy in the back spoke up.
“I dare you to ride him,” he said, grinning drunkly.
Dan and Phil made eye contact, and Phil smirked.
“Well?” He asked cockily.
“You’re really putting this up to me?”
Phil nodded slowly, licking his lips and tangling his fingers in Dan’s hair, tugging his head back roughly. “Well, Dan? Are you too scared?”
“I’m not scared,” Dan breathed, frowning at him.
“Well then prove it, pretty boy.”
Dan gasped as Phil bit down on his neck, sucking thoroughly on a spot under his ear. It felt completely wrong to have the guy he absolutely despised leaving marks on his neck, but kind of fucking sexy in a way. Or maybe that was the alcohol talking.
Dan felt himself tense up as Phil slid his hand down his stomach, brushing the hem of his shorts.
“Couldn’t we use a different room or something?” Dan asked, grabbing Phil’s wrists instinctively.
“No,” said the boy from before, quickly. “We won’t have any proof you did it.”
“You thirsty fucker,” Dan hissed at him as Phil played with his zipper.
Phil hummed against his neck as he pushed down his shorts, and Dan let him. None of them would remember this in the morning, and most of them had seen Dan naked anyways.
“I bet you love this,” he whispered, biting down on Dan’s ear, scratching his nails down Dan’s thighs. “You’re such a fucking slut, I bet you love being exposed like this.”
“Says the guy who’s erection is digging into my back,” Dan shot back, and Phil shrugged.
“So? I’m turned on. At least I admit it.”
Dan jumped slightly as Phil brushed over his bulge, and Phil chuckled.
“I hate you,” Dan breathed as Phil palmed him, drawing a whine from Dan’s mouth.
“Mmh, doesn’t sound that way.”
Dan felt Phil messing with his own jeans, pushing them down his hips.
“Do you know how many people would love to be in your place right now, you ungrateful slut?”
Dan smirked. “Yeah, just about every thirteen year old girl in our school.”
Phil pulled Dan’s hair roughly, exposing his throat, and Dan couldn’t help letting a whimper escape him.
“You don’t get to speak to me that way,” he growled, and Dan could feel his hard on grinding against his ass. “Understand?”
Dan couldn’t help but moan, grinding back on Phil’s lap. “Yes sir,” he gasped.
Phil put his fingers to Dan’s mouth, and Dan took them obediently. He carefully covered them with spit before Phil pulled them out.
“I figure you don’t need stretching,” Phil muttered, smirking meanly. Dan just nodded, unable to think of a snarky comeback in that exact moment.
Dan felt Phil lining up, and then gripping his waist.
“Push back,” he breathed, pulling Dan back on his lap slightly. Dan moaned, pushing back on Phil’s cock completely.
He grinded back slowly, his eyes closed and whorish moans falling from his mouth nonstop.
“That’s it, baby, moan like a dirty fucking slut for me,” Phil groaned, biting down on Dan’s neck. “Such a good fucktoy, that’s it.”
Dan whined, letting out little gasps and “ah ah ah”’s as he bounced and grinded expertly, fucking himself on Phil’s dick. They seemed to have both forgotten anyone else was in the room, except for a faint prickle on Dan’s neck, the feeling of being watched, which was honestly turning him on even more.
Phil grabbed Dan’s wrists, pinning them behind his back and thrusting up into him roughly.
“Think you can cum without me touching you?” He asked huskily. “Because, that would be really fucking hot.”
Dan nodded almost immediately, speeding up his movements with a loud whimper.
“Fuck, daddy,” he gasped, and Phil practically growled.
“What a pretty toy, acting like such a slut for me, in front of all these people,” he whispered, meeting Dan’s hips with his own. “Everyone’s watching you, Dan, watching you call me daddy and fuck yourself on my cock. I bet you fucking love it, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Dan whimpered. “Yes, daddy, god yes, l-love it.”
“Good boy.” Phil pulled Dan’s head back on his shoulder. “Now cum for me, princess.”
Dan let go with a loud continuous feminine moan, his hips twitching as he thrust forward automatically. Phil groaned, burying his face in Dan’s neck as he let go inside of him.
Dan slumped onto the carpet, completely fucked out, his eyes still closed.
“Jesus,” he breathed.
Phil was suddenly very aware of all of the people staring at them, and laughed.
“Hey, Charlie, I can use your shower right?”
The boy nodded slowly, still shocked into silence.
“Cool.” Phil grinned, scooping Dan up bridal style in one motion and standing carefully. “Uh, if you hear noises from the bathroom, you probably have rats and it’s totally not a second round.”
andreil pda around the foxes pleaseee my soul needs it
my marvelous anon, i am here to grant thine request, with a small side of accidental lowkey renison. enjoy <3. also on AO3.
He did it. He actually did it. After months of constant warnings and threats, Wymack finally followed through.
Neil can do nothing but stare at the flyer in his hand, mildly in fear and majorly in shock. A mere thirty seconds prior, Wymack had stormed out of his office brandishing this piece of paper like both a white flag and a declaration of war. He had paused just inside the lounge, making sure to gather everyone’s attention, before striding over to Neil and shoving the flyer in his face.
“This is for last weekend,” Wymack had said. “I already—don’t give me that look, you know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about. I already signed you up. It starts at 8:00 AM on Saturday, and unless you want your ass glued to the bench for the rest of the season, I suggest you be there.” He had then turned back around and disappeared into the hallway, leaving a room full of confused and curious Foxes in his wake.
A full minute passes before chaos breaks out and everyone starts moving at once. Various forms of “What the hell?” can be heard from all corners of the room. Neil blinks as the flyer is yanked out of his hand. He looks up to see Andrew, his eyes scanning the paper. Andrew looks up at him, and Neil’s heart nearly explodes because this look on his face, it looks like the honest-to-god beginnings of a smile. And sure, it’s at Neil’s expense, but he would embarrass the fuck out of himself at every turn if this was his reward. Andrew moves to hand the paper back to Neil.
“Okay, seriously,” Kevin huffs out with impatience as he pushes through his teammates. He snags the flyer away from Andrew who couldn’t be bothered to stop him. Kevin reads aloud, “The Annual Hilton Head Island Marathon…a MARATHON? Really, Neil?! Is this a joke?”
“I don’t know, Kevin,” says Andrew, his voice taking on the persona of a kindergarten teacher. “Did it look like a joke to you?”
Kevin’s only response is to scowl and shove the flyer into Neil’s chest. “This better not affect your performance at our game on Friday. You don’t get to take it easy just because you have to run 26.2 miles the next day.”
By the time Kevin has stormed out of the building, the rest of the Foxes have commenced their team wide freak out.
“Seriously?! He actually came through on that threat?” Dan is caught halfway between being genuinely worried and dying of laughter.
“Neil…bro…what the fuck…” Matt says from somewhere on his left, placing a consoling hand lightly on his shoulder.
“Oh my god, Neil. We have to be there. I have to witness this historic moment. You finally get to put your insane running habits into practice,” Allison is rambling from across the room.
“Wait, what was Wymack talking about ‘last weekend’? What did you do?” Asks Nicky, unaccustomed to being out of the loop.
a/n: for anon who requested it months ago im so sorry this took so long but i hope it was worth :^)
The blinking line on his blank document was laughing at him. He swore it was laughing at him and has been laughing at him for the past half an hour since he sat down and fired up the program. One word, backspace. Three words, backspace. One fucking sentence, he fucking backspaced. He let out a growl of frustration as he pushed back from his desk, rubbing his eyes as if the pain would clear up any part of his brain – preferably the one that didn’t make him sound like a five year old storybook. He might as well have typed “The wife is a sadist who accidentally killed her husband mid-fuck.”
Grabbing his robe, he quickly tugged it on and padded over to the kitchen to pour himself a blistering hot cup of coffee. His answering machine had picked up seven missed calls, probably from his editor cursing him out for missing his calls.
He couldn’t be bothered to listen to any of them or even handle his editor’s desire to tear him a new one when he was so tempted to do it himself. His last book had been published a few months ago. Usually, by the time one was stocked up on the shelves, he’d be working on the next as he cashed in whatever the latest one was making. However, with the last few miserable months, everything he printed looked like a shit stain on a piece of paper. Even his editor, who was down to his last string of patience, thought so.
Things used to come naturally to Namjoon. All the sophisticated whatnot, all the carefully intricate plots that wove themselves onto the blank pages in fabricated fiction. He didn’t know what happened to him. He’s never had a muse except for his own messed-up life so it wasn’t possible that (as what his readers and critics believed at least) his inspiration had evaporated into thin air.
Namjoon perhaps knew what had been happening, what he saw from three books away. But he wasn’t about to fucking admit it because that shit didn’t happen to the genius, versatile writer, Kim Namjoon. Whatever he wrote turned into gold, selling nearly as many copies as the holy Bible. If his jittery nerves wasn’t enough evidence of his problem, then the coffee cup shaking in his earthquake of a hand was. As the realization sank in, he was finally hit with the cold hard truth.
The song that’s sung is obviously not mine, it’s by State Champs. Listen HERE.
You transferred into Berkeley college in the beginning of your sophomore year. You hated starting a new school, but at least it was college and not high school. You’d been here a few weeks. You hadn’t made any friends yet, just your roommate, but you were more acquaintances. She was an art major and a little quirky, plus her boyfriend lived off campus so she wasn’t around much.
Being a music major had it perks. There were a lot of hot guys in the music department, but most of them were too involved with their own projects to notice you. You were pretty quiet, always lost in your own head. No one would have guessed that you weren’t the least bit shy. And you liked to keep it that way.
However, life had become boring. You finally had the hang of your classes and schedule but you needed to find something else to do with your time. Which is why you found yourself in the music building, standing in front of the bulletin board. Most of the notices were the same, people selling instruments or looking for them, people looking for practice space, advertisements for open mic nights. But one flier in particular caught your eye.
It wasn’t fancy at all, maybe a little creased and wrinkled from being in someone’s pocket. It was plain white, written on with black Sharpie.
FOR COVER BAND
MUST LIKE/PLAY ROCK MUSIC, POP PUNK.
There was a crudely drawn Chewbacca next to it, holding what looked to be a guitar. You chewed your bottom lip in thought. You could do that. You fit the qualifications. You pulled out your phone, typing the number in and saving it to your contacts for later.
*if you’d like to listen to some tunes during this, i would just recommend the wreck of our hearts by sleeping wolf.. over and over again!!*
There was a
pounding ache in your head. It felt like a million pieces of your brain
shattering to the ground, falling apart into almost nothing. Your throat felt
dry and with the little strength within you, you swallowed the dry spit in your
was blurred and your memories felt cluttered – one here and another there. The
lights were bright in the room, too bright. The ceiling was staring straight
down at you. There were all these wires tangled around you, you felt paralyzed.
A/N: So this fic is inspired by the song “Adored by Him” by
Dodie Clark. Yeah that’s really it…
Warnings: Swearing but that’s normal.
Word Count: 2, 428
never expected any of this to happen. When I became friends with Dan, I did
think he was handsome and funny. But I didn’t think I would fall for him as
fast as I did. I always pushed away the feelings until they asked if I wanted
to move in with them. Being around him 24/7 made it harder to conceal it so I
just let it happen. No one knew about my feelings, except Phil, who figured out a
year ago. I always expected the feelings to just go away but they didn’t.
But then she
happened. Allison was Dan’s most recent girlfriend. They’ve been dating for
many months now, and he was absolutely smitten (cheeky Dodie reference again)
with her. He never spoke about how he felt about her, but I was able to tell.
The way he looked at her with adoring eyes, and smile at the mere mention of
her name. I don’t blame him though. She was beautiful, with her butterscotch
hair and her smile that could shine brighter than the sun, I bet anybody would
fall her easily. She was literally perfect, and I was just…well me. It was easy
to figure out how she made Dan’s soul practically glow, and it hurt. A lot.
hate you but oh it stings,
it feel to be adored by him?
It was hard
to hate Allison. She was super nice, and had the same sense of humor as Dan.
Plus, she makes him happy. That’s what matters, right?
sitting on the couch, watching my favorite movie with Phil. It was raining
outside so we decided to dedicate the day to watching a bunch of movies. Phil
and I were cuddled up under a blanket, eating popcorn. It was relaxing to say
the least. Dan was out at Allison’s house so, of course, Phil questioned me
about my feelings.
you ever going to tell him, Y/N?” Phil asked, nudging my arm with his
I pulled up
the blanket to my chest, and sighed heavily. “Philly we’ve talked about
this before. I’ll only ruin things so-"
should tell him. It’s best to get it out there.” Phil gave me a
sympathetic look. It’s like he knew Dan wouldn’t return the feelings but he
didn’t want to keep any secrets. To be honest I’m surprised he didn’t tell Dan
Phil and I
jumped off the couch when we heard a loud bang, and stumbling coming from
downstairs. We exchanged confused glances, and hurried to the front door to see
Dan, stumbling around the entrance of our flat.
guys!” Dan said, his speech slurred.
what the hell happened!?” Phil questioned, running up to his best friend’s
side and helping him take his shoes off.
Allison and I got in a fight. Stupid really-” He tripped over his shoes
that he just took off and laughed. He looked up into my eyes and smiled.
“Don’t worry I’m fine.” Dan pushed Phil’s hand off his shoulder, and
walked up the stairs by himself.
do you want to make sure he’s okay?” Phil asked, walking up to my side as
we slowly followed Dan up the stairs.
talk to him."
I let out
another sigh, and took another glance at Dan, who stumbled into his bedroom.
"Okay. I’m not telling drunk Dan anything though.” I pointed my
finger at Phil, and let out a small laugh to lighten the mood. Phil shook his
head, smacking my hand away and smiling.
go.” He laughed.
I walked to
the kitchen, and poured a small glass of water for Dan. I ignored the aching
pain in my chest, and the tears swelling up in my eyes. I put down the glass
for a moment to take a deep breath, and recollect myself. After a few minutes,
I made my way towards Dan’s room where I saw him softly crying. My heart broke
at the sight. It pained me so much to see another girl make Dan hurt. I hated
it. I walked towards Dan’s bed and gave him the glass of water.
you go, sweetie.” I sat at the end of his bed, waiting for his response.
you.” Dan sniffed, taking a sip of the water.
want to talk about what happened?” I moved closer to him. His legs were
hanging over the edge of his bed and he was staring at the cup of water in his
doesn’t trust me.”
do you mean?” I was right by his side after I finished the question. I
tried to make eye contact with him but he was so closed off, I decided to keep
a little distance.
thinks that I’m cheating on her with you.” He lifted his head slowly and
stared into my eyes. My face turned red and I stared at the ground. I felt the
butterflies in my stomach go crazy, and I had to take a deep breath again to calm
myself down. I looked back into his beautiful, chocolate eyes and stared in
silence for a while.
girl there’s no need to fret
it’s midnight, he’s drunk, and you’re the one in his head.
don’t even have to try at all.
can’t say I’m in love with her but I feel something…strong towards her you
know? I’m not even sure if she feels the same. It’s just- It hurts a lot that
she doesn’t even trust me. ” Dan’s eyes got glossy, and he stared down at
his cup again. All I did was nod my head. I understood where he was coming
from. Someone you may be in love with and they might not even return the
feeling. How ironic.
understand, Dan. But you should get some rest, then talk to her in the
morning.” I flashed a fake smile at Dan and stood up from his bed. I stood
in front of him, and he stared into my eyes like he was searching for
you, Y/N. You’re honestly the best.” Dan put his glass down on his bedside
table and got up to give me hug. I accepted it, taking in his warmth for that
short moment I had. I sighed when he pulled away and sat in his bed. “You want
to…stay with me for a bit?” He asked, not making eye contact. I gave him a
weak smile, and nodded, sitting next to him as he got comfortable underneath
track of time, waiting for Dan to fall asleep. I stared at his sleeping figure
for god knows how long, I felt like a complete creep. He looked so peaceful
with his head resting in my lap it was hard not to. I gently stroked his hair
as he slowly fell asleep, his arms wrapped around my body as his head rested on
my leg. I checked the time on his phone, 1:00 am. I noticed his lock
screen, expecting it to be a picture of him and Allison. But instead it was a
picture of him, me, and Phil at VidCon on our day off. I smiled at it, but
quickly my smile faded when a text from Allison popped up. I decided to ignore
it, and finally leave Dan’s side.
towards the kitchen, hoping not to wake Dan or Phil up. However, to my surprise
Phil was standing in the kitchen, drinking some tea while leaning against the
how did it go?” He asked, staring at me.
doesn’t trust him apparently. Allison thinks he’s cheating on her
with…me.” I sighed. All my emotions that I’ve been holding in all night
were surfacing, and I wasn’t going to let it happen. “Um, he’s asleep now.
He asked me to stay with him for a little while and I lost track of time
because he was…uh-"
with you?” Phil flashed me a smile, but it faded when he looked into my
eyes and noticed the tears coming up. He gave me a sympathetic look and walked
closer to me. “You should just tell him so he knows. So you don’t have to
keep hurting. He will understand, Y/N."
know Phil. It’s just- it hurts seeing them together so much. And of course I
want him to be happy! But that selfish part of me wants him to be happy with
me. God, it fucking hurts.” I felt a warm streak roll down my cheek, and I
quickly wiped it away, looking away from Phil.
I knew he was trying to make me look at him, but I hated being this vulnerable.
“Y/N.” I gave in and stared into Phil’s icy blue eyes. It was full of
sympathy, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
don’t look at me like that please. It’s only making me feel worse.” I felt
more tears surfacing and let out a heavy sigh. I heard Phil mumble a small
apology and he embraced me in a warm, loving hug. At that point I finally
broke. I started sobbing into his shirt, with every sob he would hold me
tighter, and tell me everything was going to be okay. He gently ran his hands
through my hair. I pulled away from Phil, and sniffed, gently rubbing my nose.
I know it hurts but-” Phil paused in the middle of his sentence and stared
behind me. I looked up to Phil, then turned around to see what he was looking
at. There was Dan, his hair curly and disheveled, and his empty glass in his
wrong?” Dan asked, noticing my red, puffy eyes and the tear stains on
Phil’s shirt. He looked into my eyes and I could tell he was concerned.
there’s something wrong, Y/N, tell me.” Dan walked over to the counter and
placed his cup on the surface. I looked up to Phil, and nodded, signaling for
him to give us some alone time. When Phil left the room, Dan pulled me into a
tight hug, and for the second time that night I broke down. “Want to talk
to me about what happened?”
away from Dan and stared at the floor. “It’s not really about w-what
happened. It’s more…what’s happening.” I let out a fake chuckle. Dan shot
me a confused look, and backed up to lean against the counter.
me what’s going on or so help me god Y/N I will-”
Um. I guess.”
it out, please.” Dan tilted his head, giving me a worried look. God I can’t
handle this anymore.
you don’t even have to respond to this…but I really need it out in the
open.” I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, and I took deep
unsteady breath. “I just need you to know that…that” I stared into
Dan’s eyes and I could feel my heart aching all over again. I felt tears
pouring out of my eyes and saw Dan’s tall figure making his way over to comfort
me again but I pulled away.
don’t. You’re just going to make this harder.”
“Y/N tell me. Please, you’re making me worried.” I realized that Dan
and I were standing really close, closer than we usually are. I looked into his
beautiful eyes like it was the last time then stared at the floor.
think I’m in love with you.” I mumbled.
Speak up, love.” Dan said softly.
I ran my fingers through my hair and avoided eye contact at all costs. “I
think I’m in love with you and it fucking stings so much to see you and Allison
together. I mean I don’t blame you, or her. Allison is like the definition of
perfect. I mean she makes me look blind with how adventurous she is and you
look at her like the world is fucking perfect. It’s so stupid to think that I
could compare to her. But god, do I wish it was me in your arms instead of her.
Don’t even get me started about how I feel about you because there is too much
history to even go over.” I shook my head, staring at the ground, watching
my tears hit the white kitchen tiles.
can you look at me please?” Dan was still speaking softly.
told you, you don’t have to even say anything. You could just simply ignore it
and leave, I’ll get the point."
at me, Y/N.” Dan said, more stern but still full of care. I rolled my eyes
and stared into his eyes. Even though my vision was blurred I could still see
the small glimmer in his eyes. “I’m sorry for-”
told you, you don’t have to do this."
we need to talk about this. We can’t just ignore it.”
I’ve been ignoring it for 3 years now, so I think I’m good. I know the speech
you’re about to give me and I just…” I let out a muffled sob into my hand,
and looked back up to him. “Please I can’t take this right now."
let me just-"
I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. I really need fresh air…I’ll be back
in a bit."
over to the clock on the oven, and slowly moved towards the door. "It’s
1:20, Y/N you can’t go outside alone."
I am, so please move.” Dan was blocking the doorway. I made eye contact
with him and got lost in his eyes again. I felt like time slowed down when we
stared into each other’s eyes, but I broke the contact because I felt more
tears coming. Dan reluctantly walked up to me, opening his arms to give me a
hug. But instead, I pulled away from him.
so sorry.” I mumbled, and ran down the stairs to the front door, putting
on my shoes and coat.
before I could hear anymore. I let the cold London air enter my lungs, as I
tried to relax from what happened, and trying to decide if I should go back and
face Dan, or go to a friend’s house. I ultimately decided on staying outside
for a while. Sitting on a park bench staring at the trees in the park as I
replayed what happened through my head.
Author’s Note: I decided to write this to celebrate the trailer of American Assassin coming out and it was a fucking amazing trailer. Dyl looked so good. oml. I want to thank like all my friends for encouraging me that this is good! I wanna thank @dumbass-stilinski for looking it over, helping me with some parts, and just being amazing all around. You da best babe. I hope you guys enjoy!!
no offense but.. it seems like people are jumping to use 'allura has seen what the galra can do' as an excuse for her to be admittedly really mean to keith. like yes, she had a reason to be vary of ulaz but that's keith, he's never given her reason to doubt him. and you're all forgetting that shiro was tortured by the galra and he trusts keith (and ulaz and kolivan), or that 90% of pidge's family was taken from her by the galra and she never shows any malice towards keith..
and you’re all forgetting that shiro was tortured by the galra and he trusts keith (and ulaz and kolivan), or that 90% of pidge’s family was taken from her by the galra and she never shows any malice towards keith..
It’s not exactly… fair, to compare everyone’s different reactions. Allura, Shiro, and Pidge all experienced different things when it comes to the Galra.
Pidge hates them, but that hate is because of the second-hand effect they have on her life thanks to the kidnapping of her family. She knows Keith is not responsible for her family’s disappearance, ergo, there’s no reason to hate him.
Shiro knew Keith before the show even began. Keith also considers Shiro a brother, and the feeling is probably mutual. So like, trusting Keith is basically second-nature to Shiro at this point. Any lingering issues would probably be shelved to be dealt with either a) after the final battle, or b) never considering how Shiro deals with things lmao.
Also, Shiro’s trust in Ulaz and Kolivan… idk, I can’t remember the specifics of the season, but I always interpreted that as a) Ulaz helped Shiro escape from indefinite torture and captivity so y’know what, I’d be pretty thankful too, and b) Working with Kolivan followed on the tail end of Ulaz’s sacrifice, so Shiro would have felt obligated to continue the alliance out of respect to Ulaz. Plus, it just makes sense strategically? Shiro wants this war to be over as soon as possible, and having allies would only hasten that.
But Allura… My guys, the Galra are her oppressors. Allura is a princess to a civilization that is dead. We know how dedicated Allura is to her father’s/people’s legacy, we see it every time she treats Voltron with respect. We know Allura’s reverence for life, because we’ve seen her sacrifice herself without hesitation for planets she met only hours ago. We know how deeply Allura loves, we know how committed she is to her pledge of defending those who cannot defend themselves, and we know that she watched her people die. We know she watched her planet, her home, and the people she was sworn to protect, burn. And she knew the bastard that did it.
People think that it’s unreasonable for Allura to distrust Keith because they’ve been teammates for a while, and to some extent that is fair. But guys… Allura once trusted Zarkon. Remember all those flashbacks? Remember how Zarkon and Alfor were friends? Remember how Zarkon was there, for everything? Remember how Alfor trusted Zarkon to be the Black Paladin, how Alfor trusted Zarkon to lead Voltron and protect the universe- a universe which, by the way, included Allura?
Allura knew Zarkon. This is all speculation, but- I bet that Zarkon was once an uncle-figure to Allura. I bet that Zarkon was once Alfor’s most trusted ally, and as a show of that trust, Zarkon was present during Allura’s childhood. I bet Allura respected Zarkon. I bet she wanted to be him. I bet Allura tried to emulate the leader that her father and Zarkon both embodied. I bet that Allura trusted Zarkon.
And we all knew how that ended. So maybe… is it really that much of a stretch to say that the fear of history repeating itself reared its ugly head, and made Allura briefly distrust her own teammate?
no offense but.. it seems like people are jumping to use ‘allura has seen what the galra can do’ as an excuse for her to be admittedly really mean to keith.
Yes, it sucks that Keith’s feelings were hurt. Allura wasn’t right you guys, that’s not what I’m saying at all. She risked alienating (lol) a teammate, therefore potentially fracturing Voltron, and she also could have prolonged the fight with Zarkon by several months because she refused to work with the Blades. Allura wasn’t right.
But… this entire thing between Keith and Allura didn’t exist in a vacuum. Why are you just focusing on Keith’s feelings? Why aren’t you taking into consideration the fact that Allura has her own emotional baggage too? Why are you focused on wiping away Keith’s tears when Allura still feels the need to project an image of strength and leadership, even when she’s at her lowest and needs comforting?
I know people like to compare being Galra = gay but it’s also… that’s not what happened, Allura gave Keith the cold shoulder for like a week and then apologized, and now they’re fine. It’s okay, you guys. Allura didn’t psychologically scar Keith for life, he’s a big boy and he’s already started moving on. I know I’m oversimplifying things, but so many Keith stans seem… hell-bent on milking Keith’s Man Pain for all its worth when really. He was sad for a bunch of unnecessary shots and was fine by the end of the season.
You can write your tortured Keith meta on your own time, but you can also do it without demonizing Allura, thx.
Summary: Dean wants to take the relationship to another level. Would the Reader want to take that risk or will she back out?
Word Count: 1.8kish
Warnings: AU, Fluff, Light Cursing
Author’s Note: Here is the second part of Pen Pals! If you want to catch up, read the first part here –> Part One. I hope you guys like this chapter. I’m sorry for not posting it fast enough. Life got in the way and I had to stop everything for a cool minute. I hope you enjoy this and feedback is always welcomed!!
i feel like lots of mlm fetishization discourse is just appropriated from the concept of fetishization of lesbians and bi women by straight men but with changed target and perpetrator. which has little to do with reality, because the analogy is not there
that’s not to say there’s no shitty yaoi, that m/m content created by straight people is never homophobic, or that m/m fiction created by straight women doesn’t often have its problems - the point is, it’s in no way comparable to lesbian porn industry or in general to how straight men fetishize lesbians. hell, it’s not even something that gay/bi men face to any significant degree outside of fandom circles. and even then it’s less prevalent than tumblr will have you believe, seeing how, if it’s convenient for the argument, anything can be fetishization here, any contact one might have with m/m content (any ship, or even shipping in general, sexual content, non-sexual content, etc etc) that’s not fitting inside very very narrow “allowed” criteria that seem to always change
so much mlm positivity I’ve been seeing focused on the issue of being fetishized by straight women as a primary issue that gay and bi men face compared to the fetishization and dehumanization of lesbians and bi women including the lesbian porn industry - hell, some of those posts, that put mlm being fetishized by straight women at the front as one of the major issues, failed to even mention fetishization of wlw by straight men when listing examples of lesbophobia faced by wlw.
i understand a lot of us spend lots of time in fandom spaces. because of my bigoted environment and people yelling slurs at me just for existing and being outside, ive been using fandom as escapism ever since i can remember. but basing your interpretations of oppression dynamics based on your very narrow fandom experience is just foolish. it’s how we get “gay content is privileged over straight content (because of ao3 statistics for my obscure fandom)” or, in this case, “being fetishized by straight women is one of the major issues that gay and bi men face”. it is not. it’s not even close.
and… guys. guys. i know that once upon a time, when “monosexual” discourse and all kinds of liberal feminism were really big on tumblr, this phrase was used as an excuse for homophobia and you’re probably sick of hearing it, but: being gay doesn’t mean you can’t be misogynistic. and a lot of mlm fetishization discourse is misogynistic as hell. look, when you start to talk about women (and let’s be real, that’s who you mean by “non-mlm”, seeing how straight men creating and enjoying m/m content is completely fine by you; and that’s not even touching upon when it’s deliberately aimed at women without any codewords) you deem immoral the exact same way as people who coined the term “fujoshi” did - and let me remind you, those were straight homophobic neckbeards disgusted by both gay content and by women enjoying something they deemed immoral - throwing the word “ugly” around, treating women as these vile, sexual creatures, making your language very emotionally and sexually charged by accusing them of “getting off” to this, “masturbating” to that - don’t you think there’s something wrong? don’t you think it’s dehumanizing and misogynistic to frame all women who do something you dislike as motivated solely by their “sexual urges” (which are apparently bad and revulsive when they’re women’s), because it is unthinkable that one could simply enjoy m/m content the way they would, say, m/f content
straight women in fandom are not the biggest threat to gay and bi men, period. straight women ought to be held accountable for their homophobia, but there is little to no unique ways that straight women oppress gay people that straight men don’t, they do not hold unique power under heteronormativity (which is, in fact, a double-edged sword for straight women, as much of it is built on misogyny), and your small corner of a fandom on a blogging website is not a micro-cosm of society. fan content is niche.
last but not least, feeling strongly about something doesn’t make it more important than it really is. i feel strongly about many things. i have comfort characters i feel very strongly about, as projecting on them and relating to them helped me deal with some of my issues. still, character hate is just character hate. having strong feelings about a ship, be it negative feelings or positive feelings, are just that (sometimes different things tie into it, such as racism, or transphobia, or erasing gay characters, or pedophilic/incestual content, but i am not talking about that). by participating in a fandom, one doesn’t automatically consent to being an activist, or to having the fan content they create and consume branded “representation” and judged as such - headcanons are not media representation. fan content is not media representation, not in the same way that the source material might be. the standard to which creators are being held should be proportional to the impact they have - and i do not see that happening, as some obscure fanartists and fanfiction writers or even just regular headcanon-havers are often under much, much, muuuch more scrutiny than creators of popular franchises (interestingly enough i’ve observed content creators that belong to some minorities, and are often indie artists, are put under a magnifying glass much more than white cishet male creators). which makes no sense. the responsibility comes from the impact. trying to get everyone to appeal to your taste and your idea of The Right Way To Interpret Things is futile. shipping is not activism.
First time dm for a Pathfinder game with players ranging from little to no experience. We were using the pre-gens that came with the beginners box. A player dropped out last second so I decided to play Valeros as a mute, as to be able to focus purely on the dungeon. We made it through with little trouble, with Valeros almost 1 shot-ing blackfang with a crit and almost max damage. All well and good, until this happens…
Me: Okay, so with Blackfang gone, Valeros puts his glowing sword away and beholds the hoard in front of him.
Rougue: I walk behind him and stab him in the back.
Me: wait, what?! You want to stab Valeros in the back after all you’ve been through?
Rogue: Hell yeah. More money for us since we won’t have to split it as much.
Me: *sigh* fine. Roll to attack. He is easier to hit since you caught him off guard.
Rougue: wow, a 3. So that’s like a 7 to hit.
Me: With superhuman senses, Valeros detects your betrayal and dodges sideways, drawing his sword with a look of sadness on his face, distraught that you would do this to him. He looks to Kyra for help.
Cleric: Yeah nah, you’re fucked Valeros
Wizard: Talk no shit, still get hit.
Me: Wow, you guys really like money. Anyway, Valeros realises he is gonna die and grasps his sword firmly. Roll initiative.
Longer story shorter; Valeros knocked Kyra unconscious before getting slammed by the Wizard getting knocked unconscious himself. The Rogue slit Valeros’ throat before going through the loot with the Wizard, before going back and spinning a yarn about how the dragon took both Kyra’s and Valeros’ life in the epic fight. Little do the party know I’m tying this into our first game with the characters they make in a betrayal arc, what really happened at Blackreach
Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (Sebastian Stan x Reader) Pt. 4
Princess97: I’ve decided I’m going to be a porn star.
Sebastian let out a small snort as he read the message on his phone. Ever since the picture exchange, the two of you had been texting nonstop. You moved on from the silly chatroom and gave each other your real phone numbers. It was a risky move on his behalf, but being the typical Leo he was, Sebastian liked to live dangerously every once in a while.
SexySeaBass82: Pornhub or Brazzers?
He snickered like a child as he sent the text, grinning like an idiot. He looked back up at the set before him. He had just finished filming an exhausting, yet epic fight scene which he was highly proud of. The dull ache in his muscles let him know ahead of time that he’d be feeling everything tonight.
Princess97: You perv! pornhub is where the mula is.
SexySeaBass82: I think it’s safe to say that I’d be your biggest fan, doll face.
Princess97: You know what I just realized?
Sebastian cackled as he typed his witty reply and hit the send button with lightning speed.
SexySeaBass82: That I’m daddy material? ;)
Princess97: No, that you’re probably older than electricity.
SexySeaBass82: I know you can’t see it, but I’m giving you the middle finger right now. (:
He set his phone down as soon as he saw Anthony and Jeremy making their way over to him. The two men were arguing about which character could take who. Of course, Anthony was convinced Falcon could destroy Hawkeye, but Jeremy was having none of it.
“All I’d have to do is shoot you out of the sky!”
“Not before Red Wing gets his sights on you!”
Sebastian fought the urge to laugh at the two as they stood in front of him. “Seb, tell him the truth before I do.” Anthony reasoned. Jeremy snorted, taking a sip from his water bottle. He’d never say it out loud, but Sebastian was a huge fan of Hawkeye, and when it came down to it, he felt Falcon would take a beating from the archer.
“Nope!” he held up his hands in defense. “I’m not taking any part of this! I’m like Bucky, completely innocent.”
Before any of them could reply, Sebastian’s text tone went off, causing the three men to jump and peer down at his phone. His phone, which was glowing, the text showing the following words:
Princess97: I wonder what else you can give me. ;)
“Oh, damn!” Anthony cackled as he snatched the phone from the chair. “Who is Princess97?”
Sebastian immediately shot up from his seat and wrestled the phone out of the man’s hand. Jeremy bent over, his hands on his knees as he cackled loudly. He would never let this go, Sebastian was sure of it. One sentence, and the entire cast would know of his little flirty texting buddy.
“None of your damn business!” he spat, placing his phone in his pocket.
“Ninety seven doesn’t stand for the actual year, does it?” Anthony teased, elbowing Jeremy as they roared with laughter.
“Hey Seb,” Jeremy chimed in. “What kind of formula do you give her?”
The two men burst into hysterics, catching the eyes of several crew members. Usually, Sebastian would have laughed along, but instead, he felt his face heating up with embarrassment. You weren’t that young. Hell, there’s a lot of people who talk to younger people, so what was the deal? You were of legal age, which was totally fine. Then again, his mom would probably give him a slap if she found out he was flirting with a nineteen year old.
“For your information,” he sassed, sitting back into his seat. “She’s really hot. Get with the winning team, guys.”
The three men turned around to see a very exhausted Chris in his stealth suit. He scratched the back of his head lazily as he peered between the men curiously.
“Sebastian here’s got himself some jailbait.” Jeremy spoke before taking off towards his trailer before Sebastian could catch him. Chris furrowed his brows as he looked over at his friend. This was absolutely not how he planned this to get out.
“What’s all this talk about jailbait?” he asked as he took the seat beside him. Seb groaned and placed his head in his hands.
“It’s literally all lies,” he told him. “She’s perfectly legal, just a bit younger.”
“How young?” Chris asked, his brow raising in disappointment.
“Nineteen.” Sebastian answered after a long silence.
“Oh thank goodness,” Chris breathed dramatically, placing his hand over his left boob once again. “I thought you meant she was young.”
“She is young.” He admitted. “Fifteen years.”
Chris let out a snort as he pulled out his phone. “Well, Seabass,” he sung as he unlocked his phone.
“Make sure you burp her after feeding her, m’kay?” he teased before sprinting off as fast as he could in the same direction Jeremy ran in.
Sebastian sighed, sinking into his seat.
What on earth was he going to do with these idiots?
You were snuggled on your sofa, scrolling through your Tumblr dashboard, when you heard the theme song of one of your favorite TV shows being to play. It was The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. You loved that guy more than anything, he could always cheer you up when you felt down.
“Good evening folks, our guest tonight is the one and only…Sebastian Stan!”
Immediately, your ears perked up at the name. That was the actor Sebastian was in love with. Your head cocked to the side as you realized the two men had the same first names. You shrugged, it was probably a coincidence, right?
“Here’s your tea, Y/N!” your roommate chimed as she handed you a matching mug. You gave her a quick smile before returning your gaze to the TV.
“So Sebastian,” Stephen said. “I understand you and Anthony Mackie are quite the duo on set.” You found your eyes focused on the actor’s face, taking in his features. You understood why Sebastian was obsessed with this guy. He was freaking gorgeous. And that jawline -man, that looked like it could cut diamonds. And those steel blue eyes! He was a total babe.
“Yeah, we’ve grown pretty close these past few months. We even gave each other nicknames.” Stan said as he giggled, his face turning a deep red.
“Oh? Do share these nicknames, Sebastian!” Stephen mused, earning a bunch of cheers from the crowd, mostly from women.
You took a sip of your tea, your eyes set on the blue eyed man on the screen as he said the following words.
“Well, he likes to call me Sexy Sea Bass.”
The tea in your mouth sprayed all over the screen in front of you, even landing on your roommate’s lap as well as yours. She let out a shriek before jumping out of her seat and pointing an accusing finger at you.
“What the fuck, Y/N?” she exclaimed, her face twisting into a scowl.
You stared at the screen, your eyes completely wide with distraught as the man repeated the nickname for a second time.
“Yeah man, I’m telling you,” he laughed along with Stephen.