this got complicated all of a sudden

nosetothewind94  asked:

Fun wolf fact to think about: wolves greet handlers (and packmates) they love by standing up on their hind legs and enthusiastically smooch-licking them all over their faces/mouths. Can you imagine feral/wolf!Derek terrified of everyone and then seeing Stiles and just attacking him with wolfy kisses? And everyone just standing there terrified for half a second while Derek charges at Stiles and then just standing there confused when he proceeds giving him a tongue bath...

I just…..

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY FEELINGS I HAVE ABOUT THIS.

Stiles thinking this is it, this is how he dies….and suddenly he’s got slobber on his face and a shaking feral puppy whining against his throat because Allison still has her bow aimed at him and…..oh my god, Allison. 

Who looks like Kate.

And Derek is really whining now, practically trying to scramble into Stiles’ arms (which is impossible given his size but it doesn’t stop Derek from trying). Stiles isn’t sure if Derek is himself at the moment or if he’s having some kind of panic attack and all his usual walls and filters are shot but one thing is for certain: STILES IS NOT GOING TO HOLD BACK ON DISHING OUT ON THE STILINSKI CUDDLES. He always imagined the first time he got to hug Derek for real there would be more muscle and complicated eyebrow emotions involved but he can work with this

“Hey, it’s okay, big guy. I’ve got you now. No bad people.”

*more whining*

Hey now, none of that. When have I ever left you, huh?”

*sudden silence*

You can depend on your buddy, Stiles. Right?” 

*more tentative, almost SHY licking*

*followed by tail wagging when Stiles’ hand accidentally brushes Derek’s ear*

Stiles’ status: dead from feels (and also the sudden, alarming confusion he is still every bit as in love and attracted to Derek in his wolf form. Hell, he even thinks his droopy ears are cute. WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT HIM???)

Tell Her, Dude

Hey, @hchano 
I’ve heard you like Ladrien and supportive bros? I hope you’ll like this then.


                                                                                                       Read it on A03

“Great job, Chaton,” Ladybug stood proudly after their customary fist bump on a top of the Eiffel Tower, her sight focused somewhere in the city, a soft smile playing on her lips. Yet it didn’t reach her eyes for some reason, her mind obviously occupied by something else, something way more important than her lovesick partner by her side. Even her fighting today was a little distracted, Chat noted. Something was definitely bothering his Lady. Maybe, he should…

“I have to go now,” Ladybug added, breaking his train of thought, her eyes still focused on the place Chat Noir suspected he knew very well. “Would you take care of Nino?”

“Sure.” Chat tilted his head to a side. A light smirk played on his lips as he wondered, “What’s the rush, my Lady? You didn’t use your Lucky Charm on your second transformation. Stay. We’ll get rid of him—“ he playfully glanced into Nino’s direction, “—and will hang out for a while. Paris is especially beautiful at night, you know. Not that it compares to you in any way but-”

At his enthusiasm Ladybug only rolled her eyes and prepared to depart. “As much as it’s fun to hang out with you, Chat, I have a boyfriend with whom I need to talk today. Just take care of Nino and I’ll see you at the patrol tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. No problem. You go. I’ll take care of everything,” Chat sadly sighed, looking after her disappearing into the night figure. “But your boyfriend isn’t home, my Lady,” he added almost silently. “He’s here, watching you fly away-”

“Dude!”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hello, do you mind me asking what happened with sleepy hollow? I only watched the first season lol

not at all! okay so first off, congratulations on escaping the train wreck early. second, there was a shitload of bs happening behind the scenes, 99% of which we are still in the dark about. the rest is under a cut bc damn.

Keep reading

CLF: A La Folie I

A/N: The header was made by the lovely @rainbowrobotmarkerz… who definitely made me scream like a little girl. Thank you for this wonderful birthday present!

A/N: I got completely trashed on Monday, so I combined Monday’s part and this part. It’s long, but… hehehe. Totally worth it. 

Warnings: A heart-to-heart that ends about as well as it can, graphic character death, SMUT (yup, you read that right) which is slightly dubcon for about ten seconds, use of magic, allusions to torture, cutting off of a limb, blood, ANGST. ANGST. ANGST. 

MASTERLIST

WORD COUNT: 3811

TRACKS: The Scientist by Corinne Bailey Rae,  Lydia by Highly Suspect (no, I didn’t choose the name because of this song, I just heard the song a couple days ago and promptly lost all composure because it’s perfect, especially for this part!), and Feral Love by Chelsea Wolfe. In that order. 

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Behind the Walls (Chapter 10)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

Pairing: Professor!Bucky X Reader

Words: 1,941

Warnings: Cursing! Angst!!!

Summary: You are currently getting your PhD in Art History, your dissertation being about The Power of Nudity in Art. Your advisor recommends you switch from being her TA to another professor because she feels her health is declining and wants you to get the best help/advice from someone new. She recommends Dr. James Barnes and believes he will be of great help to you. Things don’t turn out as you plan.

A/N: Lol I have a midterm tomorrow and I needed to relieve my stress! Sorry guys for the wait! Let me know if i should start using gifs…please! Also thanks for the comments and the anons i love you all! As always, let me know if you want to be tagged.

Tagging: @amxwxxld @confidentrose @vashanatasha @your-puddin @shamvictoria11 @gatorgal94 

The amazing edit is by @264jana

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Imagine Harrison Wells planning to give you a surprise but Jesse accidentally spoiled it

Requested by @ccorpuz1214: Can you do a fluffy imagine sometime after Zoom is defeated with Harry and Reader baking on Earth 1 since they decided to stay (they were together on E2 and she came with him through the breach to save Jesse and Jesse considers her to be like her mom) and he proposes please? And then Jesse comes later and it gets all family cute?

Words: 926

Originally posted by centralcitygifs

Watching Harrison Wells worked was always the most pleasant thing in the world, especially when he was working inside the kitchen.

Team Flash decided to throw a celebration party after Zoom was defeated. Surprisingly, Harrison volunteered for making cupcakes, and that was very unusual and weird. You knew he never liked baking and Jesse’s birthday was the only reason he would entered the kitchen once a year. Guess Harrison indeed had grown a quiet fond of the team after all this time and decided to do something nice for them.

“Hey.” You cleared your throat, notifying Harrison of your presence.

“Hey.” He took a glimpse at you, a small smile curling up on his lips.

“Do you need any help?” You closed in, peeking at the cupcakes from behind Harrison’s shoulder to make sure they didn’t become a disaster.

He hastily wiped his hands with a rag and led you away from the counter, “I made birthday cakes for Jesse since the day she was born, remember? I’m doing fine here.” He gave you an assured smile, “And you should be resting. You said you are having a headache.”

“Yeah, about that…” You bit your lower lip insecurely, “I just asked Caitlin to take a look at me.”

“What did she say?” Harrison asked with a soft voice.

“She said the reason why I got headaches all the time is because…” You stammered, looking away from Harrison’s worrying eyes, “I don’t belong here… Earth 1… You once said Earth 1 vibrates differently than ours… Guess the unbalance frequency is affecting me and making me sick…”

“But why didn’t it affect me or Jesse?”

“I guess I’m the unlucky one.” You shrugged sadly, covering your hands with his and gently squeezing them, “I know I’ve promised to stay on Earth 1 with you and Jesse… But…” You sniffed, trying the best to hold back the tears lingered on the corner of your eyes, “If I don’t go back to Earth 2… Caitlin said the headaches would become more frequent and the pain would double each time…”

“Look,” You whimpered with tears streaming down your cheeks, clearly knowing what you were going to say would definitely break Harrison’s heart, “I know you care about Barry, Caitlin, Cisco, Iris and Joe a lot. And I don’t want you to give up a wonderful life just because of me… What I’m trying to say is… After the party… I’m leaving… I’m going back to Earth 2… Cisco has promised to open the breach for me…”

Harrison gaped, trying to interrupt, but you cupped his cheeks and eyed him instead, silently stopping him from saying anything.

“After I go… take care of Jesse… and find someone who love you more than I do…” These words were like a sharp knife, tearing your heart into pieces, “You deserve all the happiness in the world…”

“Stop it.”

“I see how you get along with Caitlin…” You ignored him and continued, “I think she’s a perfect match for y–”

Harrison shut you up with a rough kiss. He crushed his lips on yours while gently wiping away your tears with his thumbs. You coiled your arms around his neck and deeply brushed your lips against his as if you were giving him the goodbye kiss.

Noticing the hidden meaning behind your kiss, he parted away from you and cupped your small cheeks with his warm big palms. “Don’t you ever say that again.” He uttered, “You came with me through the breach to save Jesse and I will not let you go back alone.”

Jesse slammed into the kitchen all of the sudden, causing you and Harrison instantly moved away from each other.

A bright wide grin was hanging on Jesse’s rapturous features and she blurted, “Congratulations!”

Jesse’s excited state was confusing you, “What?”

Harrison waved his hand to signal Jesse from spoiling everything.

But Jesse seemed do not understand the meaning of the gesture, she looked at her father with furrowed brows, “Dad, you haven’t proposed to Y/N yet?”

You couldn’t believe what you just heard. You immediately fell the attention on Harrison and asked with astonishment, “You’re going to… What?”

Yet, before Harrison could answer you, another lady rushed inside the room.

“Y/N! I got things too complicated! I restudied your cell activities and found out your headaches aren’t causing by the unbalance frequency. That’s actually the early sign of pregnancy!” Caitlin announced her discovery with a big broad smile, “You’re pregnant!”

There were too many things flooding inside your head all at once, first was the unexpected marriage proposal and now the sudden pregnancy announcement. Your brain just went into a short circuit and you were totally stunned.

Harrison was the first to gather the thoughts and pulled out a shining ring from his pocket, “Well, I was planning to hide this little thing into the cupcake and give you a surprise…” He placed one hand on your belly, “But I think you’re the one who surprised me.” He gave you a beaming smile and looked into your eyes with longing and sincerity, “Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” You nodded with fervency, all the sickness or headaches were not a problem anymore.

The feeling of bliss came over Harrison and he couldn’t wait to pull you into his loving arms.

“Mom!” Jesse exclaimed with happiness, buried herself into the group hug.

“Careful, Jesse.” Harrison reminded, “Your Mom is pregnant.”

“Dad, being protective already?” Jesse smirked, making fun of her father.

Harrison laughed, pulling you and Jesse closer into his embrace.

anonymous asked:

“The saddest thing is that when I told him/her I loved him/her, he/she thought I was lying. He/she never believed someone could fall in love with him/her.” with Kuroo. Thank you in advance!

For some reason whenever I type something, Tumblr wants to delete it so I’m praying that my stuff WILL STOP GETTING DELETED. Sorry that this took so long! Also, btw you’re all beautiful & when you read this, please don’t think that I think that y’all are crusty cause y’all rock. This is really LONG & didn’t go the way you probably wanted it so I deeply apologize. 


Originally posted by denisvev

It all happened on a dark evening. Kuroo was walking you home from one of their games. It had ran a little later than y’all thought it would and when you tried to leave, Kuroo insisted that he walk you home. Lately, you’ve been feeling a little different towards the middle blocker. You wanted to give in to these new mixed feelings, but you just felt that you wouldn’t be right for Kuroo. He was the guy everyone at school looked up to. Not only that, he was way too good looking and smart for you. You just couldn’t make yourself believe that you two would be good together. Honestly, you felt like you would only drag him down. 

You didn’t realize how deep in thought you were because when you came to, Kuroo was shaking you by the shoulders. “Hey (Y/n), are you ok? You’ve been out of it since we left the gym.” You smiled and gave him a vigorous nod, “I’m fine, really! I’m just still in awe of how well you played tonight!” Kuroo looked at you with a relieved smile, “Oh good…hey (Y/n), I just wanted to say thank you for always coming to my games. It means a lot to me, I mean heck, you even come to the away games. Sometimes they’re like two hours away, it’s just cool cause you’re like my own personal cheerleader and…it makes me happy to know you’re cheering for me.” 

Your heart started to palpitate harder than it ever had. You could feel your face turning bright red from embarrassment. Could he even hear your heart beat, was that even possible? You grabbed the hem of your skirt and fiddled with it, feeling quite fidgety. “Oh um…what do you mean Kuroo?” He scratched the back of his head, his normal composure gone. You could sense that he was a little nervous. “I-I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while (Y/n) but I never knew how to come out and say it. I even asked Kenma for advice about this but he said to just come out and say it. Crazy how I had to ask a guy like him about something like this…anyways, I was wondering if you’d go out with me?” 

Your heart twisted and turned, the boy of your dreams asked you out! This had to be a dream, it just had to be! But soon, reality hit you like a train. There was no way you could go out with him, it would ruin his reputation. Wait a second though, it almost didn’t cross your mind but this had to be a prank. It all made sense now, of course! Somebody like him would never love someone like you. You started to laugh at little, “Kuroo-kun, you’re so funny!” The tall bed head looked at you with a frown, “I’m not kidding (Y/n). This isn’t a joke…are you making fun of me?” 

You’re laughing ceased, “You’re not joking?” He had a serious expression on his face, “Of course not! Why would I joke about something like this?” Guilt washed over your body, man did you feel bad. Besides that, he actually liked you. The pain of having to reject him hurt more than anything in the world. You loved Kuroo but you knew that it was best for the both of you if you weren’t together. 

You placed a gentle hand on his arm, “Kuroo, I’m sorry but…I don’t deserve your love. You’re a great guy but-” He pulled away from you, “I know you’re not giving me that cliche rejection speech right now…you can’t do that (Y/n), you just can’t!” Ouch. But he was right, he didn’t deserve that, he deserved so much more. “You know what…you’re right. You are absolutely right. I’m not going to give you a cliche answer. Kuroo, I love you. I’ve loved you since the ninth grade! You’re the guy everyone wants to be friends with, not only that, but you’re kind and you look out for other people! When you walk into a room, everyones faces light up, especially my face Kuroo! When I’m with you, I feel relaxed. My anxiety level comes down all the way from a 100 to a freaking zero. There are so many things I want to tell you, like the way you run your hand through your hair when you’re nervous and and how when you’re about to finish a test, your hand twitches because you’re writing so fast because you’re so eager to finish that test, or maybe how you cringe a little when your food touches at lunch time.” Kuroo’s face was in awe of your passionate speech, he opened his mouth to say something but you stopped him. 

“I’ve loved you since day one but Kuroo, you deserve better. You deserve the girl that gets the really good grades, that doesn’t panic at the cash register when the cashier hands back her change, the girl that doesn’t have insecurities about her crooked teeth. Granted, I should’ve worn my retainer after I had braces but still…anyways that’s not the point.” You took a deep breath and finally said what you had to say. “I love you with all my heart, but I’m not the girl for you. Frankly Kuroo, you deserve so much more. I don’t deserve you’re love, and I can’t give you what you want. I appreciate your feelings and trust me, you made me the happiest girl in the world tonight but our love would never truly bloom the way you want it to. I’m so sorry.” That was the last thing you said before you stormed off. You didn’t want him to see the tears that ran down your face. 

Kuroo stood there, he didn’t know how to react. His heart said to chase after you but his mind told him no. How he longed to hold you in his arms and tell you how much he loved you. How he loved the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled or how he loved the way your perfume smelled after walking out of practice with sweaty guys. Your presence was so relaxing to him, and you would never know how much he thought how you deserved better. He wanted to take the chance and ask you out, to finally make you his, but that chance flew straight out the window, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

A few days later 

Kuroo was sitting in the locker room with Kenma after a hard practice. Kenma, despite not wanting to hear the cringe details, asked his best friend how the other night went. Kuroo didn’t have the chance to tell Ken how you rejected him, so the gamer probably assumed that the two of you were a happy couple. “Honestly Kenma, it didn’t go very well. She full on rejected me, she gave me the greatest speech about all the little details she noticed about me. Heck Kenma, she even told me she loved me!” Kenma looked up from his game, “So then why aren’t you guys together if she loves you?” Kuroo sighed, “I don’t know…but the saddest thing is that when I told her I loved her, she thought I was lying. She never believed someone could fall in love with her.” 

All of a sudden Kenma had a serious expression on his face, “Girls are really complicated.” Kuroo lowered his head in response, “You’ve got that right.” The two of them continued to talk it out, trying to think of anything that would convince you otherwise. Finally, Kenma said, “Why don’t you just give her some time? She might come around eventually, let her grow some more. One day, she’ll realize the chance she missed, and maybe, just maybe, she’ll come back to you.” Kuroo smiled and gave Kenma a pat on the head, “Yeah…maybe you’re right.” For the rest of the day Kuroo and Kenma talked about a new video game that came out as they walked home together, cherishing their time together.


Thanks for requesting!

Married To The Boss [Twelve] | Rap Monster

Originally posted by https-km

After a scary turn of events, things only seem to get worse for Y/N and is forced to make a decision for the sake of Namjoon’s future.

[Masterlist]


I can finally catch my breath again. The pins and needles feeling in my skin has disappeared. My vision is coming back once I open my eyes. The bright lights in the room make it harder to keep my eyes open.

“Y/N,” I feel a warm squeeze on my hand.

“Namjoon?” I look at the figure at my bedside.

“Yeah, I’m here. How are you feeling?”

I start to remember how I ended up in this spot when I see a slight bruise on my wrist, “Where’s my mom?”

“The police caught up to her and arrested her. You don’t have to worry about her right now. We just have to get you home now.”

Just then Jimin walks in with a look of relief on his face, “Oh you’re awake.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“I wasn’t as scared as you were but don’t worry about it. It’s not the first time I’ve had to deal with your panic attacks. It may be the last since Namjoon’s gonna have to deal with them from now on.”

“So does this mean you trust me?” Namjoon asks.

“You’re her husband aren’t you?”

Keep reading

My Anthology: Entry I.

For the most part I enjoy the single life, except for the lonely nights of course. But as of lately I think I have been reaping the benefits of what it feels like to be in a relationship. It sounds weird I know, but it has been about three years since I have been in a “relationship” where we were actually dating. Since then, there has been times where myself and another female were just kicking it, fucking, or whatever you want to call it. The situation with the most recent girl started off as something simply platonic, well maybe there was always the physical attraction too, but we fucked with each other, heavy. We vibed on a spiritual level. Oh and we had “history” together prior to her being recent again. I have known this girl for a few years now. We used to be really close but our lives go in the way and we lost contact. Maybe about a month ago we ran into each other again we kind of rekindled the old flame. Sounds great right? Well things are kind of complicated actually. Here’s why.

Right before she came back into my life I had been talking another girl. This girl is really kind and nurturing to all my needs. We were really close and all of a sudden like the other girl, our lives got in the way and inevitably we lost contact as well. Now that she’s gone and the other girl has come back into the picture it is almost like this perfect timing. But I can’t tell. How do I know for sure? 

For the past few weeks I have been spending a lot of time with her and I think it’s safe to say we are closer that we ever were before. Things are good but something just doesn’t seem quite right to me. Maybe it is the fact that we are “just kicking it”. None of us have ever brought up commitment or anything remotely close to being together unless she wanted me to tag along with her somewhere just so she wouldn’t look single. We would refer to each other as best friends but that is the closest to a title you’d hear from anyone of us. Our relationships appeared to be a little more than platonic at times but I don’t think that is something we’d admit at least not to each other.

We act like we are together but we aren’t together. We do things together like we are in a relationship but we aren’t in a relationship. If any one were to see us in public they would think we were a couple, and living together but we aren’t. She even has her own wash cloth hanging up in my bathroom. The crazy part is that we talk about our personal lives to each other all the time. She talks to me about the guys in her life and I talk to her about the girls in my life. But at the end of the night we would end up in each other’s bed. 

A few nights ago, the other girl came back into the picture and asked if she could come see me. I really wanted to see her but I didn’t know what to say to her because I was in the company of another girl. I didn’t want to say no and I didn’t want her to come up to my room to see that there’s another girl there. I told her to meet me outside and that I was just going to walk to the store to get something to chase the bottle I bought the night before. This “other girl" was with was the same girl who practically lives with me, but as friends, really close ones. I don’t know why I didn’t just tell her the truth but I told her my homeboy was outside and wanted to holla at me real quick before he went out for the night.

So this car pulls up right outside of my apartment and it’s ol girl who just hit me up. I get in and she drives me to the gas station up the street. We start to talk about what’s new in our lives and how much we miss each other. We get to the store and I forgot what I told her I was going to the store to get. She walked to the back of the store and for some reason I went straight to candy section and grabbed a starburst. Meanwhile she was over by the fridge grabbing herself an Arizona Ice Tea. As we are walking to the counter to pay for our things, she walked out in front of me and I couldn’t help but admire what was in front of me. Meanwhile there is another girl laying in my bed. 

She turned to me and asked why didn’t I grab a drink. I looked at her like I didn’t know what she was talking about until I remembered what I said to her. So I ran back into the store and grabbed a jug of lemonade, that happened to be the first thing I saw. As I was walking to the counter my phone started ringing and it was ol girl back at my place. She asked me where was I at and why was it taking so long just to say hello. I told her we were just catching up and it won’t long and that he wanted to take a quick run to the store. I told her that I would be right up and it wouldn’t take much longer. After paying for the lemonade I went back to the car on edge, worried that she’d get a little weary and come outside and see me in the car with another girl. 

If she came outside to see me in the car with another girl I am not really sure how she would react but then again we weren’t in a relationship. I think my biggest concern was the fact that I didn’t want the girl I was in the car with to find out I had another girl in my room waiting for me. Well she had been MIA for a while now, like what else would she expect, right?

We headed back to my apartments and we just talked. We talked about how we have grown apart but how it felt like we haven’t missed a beat. She explained to me why I hadn’t heard from her in a while and how tough things had gotten for her. The things that she told me really touched me because I had been in her shoes so often in my life. I reached over to her and gave her a hug, gave her a kiss on the cheek and sat back in my seat. There was silence. I stared out the window thinking to myself like “damn how come shit always turns out like this for me?”. 

After maybe about a solid sixty seconds of silence she reached over and grabbed my hand. She placed it on her chest and told me that I had her heart. Then she leaned towards me, grabbed my ears and kissed me. All I could do was kiss her back. Somehow she climbed over to the passenger side and continued to make out with me. As soon as my hand wandered up her shirt, my phone rang. I ignored it and threw the phone in the back seat. We continued making out and my phone went off again. She climbed back to her seat and told me I should get it. When I looked picked up the phone it was her again, the girl in my room: “best friend”. 

I could tell she was angry she said she was about to leave and if she wanted to be in a room by herself she could have stayed home. I reassured her that I am on my way and we had just gotten back from dropping somebody off. I told her that I would be there in twenty minutes and I promised. I hung up the phone not knowing if she had heard my conversation or not. She looked at me and asked “you gotta go?” and I replied “yea but I have some time, they’ll be alright.” she asked me what did I mean and I was confused to what she had meant. So I asked her what did she mean. I got a little awkward for a second then she said nevermind.

We sat there for a while in silence until she finally said “shouldn’t you be going?” I looked over at her and nodded. I really didn’t want to leave because it had been so long since I last saw her and it felt good to see her again. I stared out the window then I looked back at her. I asked her when will I her her again and she said she didn’t know. She told me that she will be out of town for a couple of weeks to pursue a business opportunity shadowing some board executive members of this fortune 500 company. Even though I was proud of her, I was also said that she was going to be leaving me again. She said she would be really busy but she would do her best to keep in touch.

I kissed her goodbye and she said it back to me. I could hear the pain in her voice. Later that night she told me she cried when I left. But as I was walking back to my room I couldn’t help but think about what it would be like if we dated and what it would be like if life brought us together, in the same place, at the same time. Shit, I wondered what it would be like if we just had time for one another. 

When I got back to the room I soon realized stupid I was for not only getting involved with a woman seven years older than I was, and not because she had a seven year old staying with her mom or even hiding this other girl from her but the fact that I allowed myself to fall for multiple women. Once I got back to my room it was quiet. I could tell she was mad at me but she wouldn’t say a word. I told her that I was sorry I took so long and time slip away from me. She just growled at me and said whatever. I told her I bought some lemonade and asked her if she wanted some. She continued to give me the silent treatment which really pissed me off. So I screamed “Fuck it then go ahead and be childish!” 

The moment I said that it was like I had unleashed the spawn of everything remotely evil. She began yelling and screaming and telling how much of an ain’t shit person I was for leaving her in here by herself when I asked her to be there. She made the comment that I was probably really outside with another female and that’s why I took so long. Unconsciously, I had this dumb look on my face when I asked her what the hell was she talking about because she replied “you got that dumb look on your face when you know you done fucked up!”  I continued to act like I didn’t know what she was talking bout and she continued to talk shit. So I asked her what was the problem and she acts like we are dating. I told her to chill the fuck out because she was making a fool out of herself. Her last words were, “YOU RIGHT!” before she stormed out my apartment. 

I just stood there at first, not thinking about what I said her but what I allowed to happen. By the time I came to my senses I ran out the apartment after her but she was already gone. I couldn’t help but to think that I really fucked up. Not only did I lie to her but I really hurt her feelings. Apparently she liked me a little more than platonically. I called her phone several times and she wouldn’t answer. I left her tons of text messages but I wouldn’t get a reply until finally my phone goes off. It was a message from the twenty six year old. It read, “I cried when you left me. I think I love you.” I wanted to say to her that I loved and I felt that way sense the day we first met but I had so many mixed emotions that I really didn’t know what to say.

Tonight I looked back on that night and think about how big of a jerk I was, how much I was in love, and how hurt, and confused I was. Nothing much has changed since then though. The twenty six year old is MIA again but I guess that come with the territory. My best friend called me and told me to come to the door because she had something she wanted to tell me something. When I came outside she asked me to ride to the store with her. When we got to the store she asked me to stay in the car and she would be right back. She come out the store with this small container thing. I wasn’t sure what it was and she wouldn’t tell me what it was. Then we got back to my room and she finally told me what it was. She told me her period hasn’t come yet and it has been just about 2 weeks pass due. She told me she had bought a pregnancy test.

All I could think to myself was, “why” why didn’t I use protection. She read the instructions, grabbed a cup of lemonade and went into the bathroom. I guess now we play the waiting game. 

3

This scene from ‘Playthings’ is one of my all time favorite. Too many emotions. Too many feels. I can watch this all day. If wincest ever had a chance to be canon, according to me this is where it would all start. Here’s my take.

“Please, Dean. You have to promise me.” Sam’s begging, the words slightly slurred, whiskey breath fanning over Dean’s lips.

Dean’s heart is thundering in his chest. Sam’s right there, all drunk and grabby, looking at him with those pleading eyes just like he has all his life, and Dean wants to punch something. Because he can’t do what he actually wants to. He can’t grab Sam by the hair and kiss all these messed up ideas right out of his stupid head.

“I promise.” He mutters instead, a lie to sooth his hysterical brother.

He wants this to get over, for Sam to just go to sleep, but that isn’t happening. Sam is pulling him closer, clumsy fingers that were gripping Dean’s jacket are suddenly grabbing his face.

“Thank you.” Sam half whispers, breath stuttering. “You are…”

And before Dean can make sense of it, Sam’s in his space, smashing their lips together, nipping on Dean’s lips messily. “T-thank you, Dean,” he’s whimpering, words muffled, feeble. Damn it! Dean wants to stop. Wants to tackle Sam into bed and hold him still until he passes out, but then, he doesn’t really want to stop. He doesn’t reciprocate. Doesn’t return the kiss, because Sam’s drunk and is out of his mind, and somehow, kissing him back feels like taking advantage of his vulnerable state. Dean doesn’t stop it, either. He just stands there, steadying Sam’s swaying form until, finally, Sam’s grip on him loosens and he goes limp in Dean’s arms.

Carefully, Dean maneuvers his brother until Sam’s sprawled on the mattress,  squirming to get comfortable, occasionally calling out for Dean. Then he goes pliant, burying his face in the pillow, arms twisted in weird angles around himself.

It’s eerily quiet all of a sudden, and Dean feels exhausted. It’s all too much, too overwhelming, and his brain is still trying to catch up. Sighing, he rubs a hand down his face, his chest feeling heavier with every passing second. If their life was messed up before, he realizes that it just got much more complicated.

He kind of wishes Sam won’t remember in the morning. That they can go back to their lives, and maybe Dean can pretend this never happened, even though that would hurt like hell. But a small part of him, the honest one, the one that’s been in love with his little brother for years now, wishes that Sam wakes up in the morning and kisses him again, just the same way, and tells him whatever happened wasn’t because of the alcohol or the overwhelming emotions. That it happened because Sam wanted it.

That tiny part of him hopes his brother feels the same way about him.


~Chamsp

#strong #female #friendships

This goes out to all the people, who are *disappointed* by the sudden drama between the girl squad.

Well, let’s start off with the fact that Vilde was ready to drop her gang for Pepsi Max at any given moment. She would jump around them all the time, from the first season till today. Also, she completely disrespects Sana. Telling Pepsi Max that Elias’d called Sana a “slave”. How fucked up is that? Do friends actually do that? And let’s not forget her reaction when Sana got a prayer notification. 

With Noora, though, it’s much more complicated. The girl was so close with Sana, it’s just ridiculous for her to do such a shitty thing to her closest friend after that. Especially if we know that Sana was trying to help her out the whole time and protect her from the news – make it easier for her to handle the news that would pop up soon. And (!) Noora was hugging Sara and talking to her, before their conversation had happened. If Sara was the one, who ratted the news out - oh lord, how stupid was the fact that Noora got angry at her actual friend. I thought that Noora was supposed much smarter than that. At least, she was before she started dating William.

So, what’s the conclusion? -

No matter how much we believe in a strong female gang and wish to break the stereotype of “non-existence of female friendship” - the stereotype didn’t appear by itself. It’s sad to say this, but these girls are still quite problematic. Don’t idealize the girl gang, they have never been perfect. Hell, they have been far from perfect for a long time. 

rebecca tells aaron to leave robert and then tells robert if there’s a chance he could salvage things with aaron he should.

rebecca acts smug and cocky to liv but then shuts up when robert arrives and even sticks up for liv to robert.

and people still think that bitch isn’t up to something?

who’s word do we have she is actually pregnant? hers. the same girl who said it was complicated when asked why she couldn’t stay away.

who’s word do we have on the paternity? hers. the same girl who only says she’s sure about the father when someone brings up sleeping with ross or aaron.

one minute she’s got a huge bump and the next day she’s got a flat stomach. then she has a bump that was even smaller then the last time you saw it and now all of a sudden she looks like she’s about to pop.

is there any proof she’s pregnant? no.

and remember in hollyoaks when tom got suspicious of sienna and hid a camera which saw her taking off her fake bump and that’s how tom found out? well Iain was the producer then. when it all came out and sienna was in hospital viewers started to feel sorry for sienna so what if he’s going down the same route with rebecca hence the reason they have robert hiding a camera next week??

anonymous asked:

how do you feel about shimizu's death in the manga oyasumi punpun?

But…Shimizu didn’t…die? Seki does manage to get him out of the fire before it’s too late.

Here he is after being discharged from the hospital (Chapter 142)…

…and here’s Seki telling Harumi about Shimizu during the class reunion after the final timeskip (Chapter 146):

So Shimizu is alive and well! We can also infer that he’s still in contact with Seki, given that Seki knows that Shimizu has become a nurse and why he couldn’t make it to the reunion, as well as the casual tonal delivery of Seki’s dialogue here.

…Unless you mean his amnesia? His memory loss can be read as a sort of spiritual transcendence or “death” because of these panels:

If that is what you mean…well, I’ve already written a little about the “resolution” to Seki and Shimizu’s arc here. But long story short: I think it’s a bit of a copout, as well as…problematic, given the inferences you can derive from Shimizu achieving personal fulfillment and happiness by joining a cult and participating in a suicide pact. Your mileage on this plot point probably varies on how much leeway you give Asano Inio, re: Shimizu and Pegasus. Rather, whether or not you buy into reading Shimizu and Pegasus as “prophets,” which…I do think is problematic, since that narrative detracts from and even erases what reads as Shimizu living with mental illness and how the entire cult plot corresponds to real world cults.

Pegasus is a cult leader. He approaches people who feel alienated, alone, or are in vulnerable mental states. Remember, he approached Shimizu twice: the first time after hearing about the dead body in Punpun’s future apartment building left him terrified and shaken; the second time after Seki lashes out at him verbally and physically, forcefully shatters his delusion by reminding him that his mother is dead, and blames Shimizu for all the misfortune in his own life. He approaches Punpun at one point too, and we know that Punpun is prone to volatility and suffers from depression. The rest of Pegasus’s followers also attest to similar experiences: feeling alone, isolated, and/or unfulfilled until Pegasus approached and convinced them to join his cult. That’s predatory. Pegasus is charismatic, and he uses his charisma to construct a fiction wherein he and his followers are magical warriors that must fight and stop the apocalypse, convince his followers of this constructed “reality,” and use that fiction to persuade his followers to participate in a suicide pact. He is also a criminal who breaks into people’s homes and assaults them, so there’s that too. Most importantly, Pegasus does not exist in a vacuum. There are real world analogues who have caused a lot of harm and loss of life, like Jim Jones. So…I hope we can all agree that the effect Pegasus has on his followers and what he has them agree to are not “positive” in any sense of the word. Shimizu joining the cult was not a good thing, and his presence among them puts him in an environment that is hazardous to his immediate, mental, and emotional well-being.

Of course, Seki and Shimizu’s relationship is far from healthy too. They are extremely codependent, but Seki willfully blinds himself to that reality as they grow older. Instead of accepting his own dependence on Shimizu, he constantly frames it as Shimizu’s dependence on him without acknowledging that he also needs and depends on Shimizu. The more he does this, the more his behavior becomes abusive and hurtful, as well as infantilizing. It is very, very significant that Shimizu decides to cut ties and walk away from Seki after years of happily fulfilling his end of an agreement Seki proposed to formalize their relationship—If you believe in me, I swear I’ll protect you…so don’t leave me alone anymore…—and that, afterwards, it’s Seki who keeps calling Shimizu, who keeps coming up with increasingly desperate plans for the two of them to do together (going to Thailand together over the summer, even promising to pay for all of Shimizu’s expenses so he’ll agree to join him; running off to Tibet together to become monks), who ultimately begins to confront himself, his behavior, and his attachment to and feelings for Shimizu. It lays the codependence bare, and most importantly it creates the opportunity for Shimizu to disprove Seki’s infantilizing rhetoric!

However…having Shimizu leave his codependent relationship with Seki to join a cult and participate in a suicide pact…does nothing to contradict Seki’s oft-repeated assertions that Shimizu cannot take care of himself. On the contrary, it supports the infantilization pattern! Evidently Shimizu cannot, in fact, “take care of himself” or “make healthy choices for himself” without Seki…never mind that Shimizu has been taking care of himself and coping with his delusions throughout the series. It’s pretty bizarre, frankly. Having Shimizu call out and walk away from Seki’s dependence and infantilization patterns only to have Shimizu decide to commit suicide shortly thereafter because a cult leader “believes in him” is contradictory.

Even if you accept the implications that Shimizu is actually some kind of prophet and that everything Pegasus says is objectively true, there are other issues apart from erasure and romanticization of cult leaders and their cults. Shimizu’s spiritual transcendence reads as escapism, which reflects how the fresh start resolution of his and Seki’s arc deprives us of any real closure or catharsis because we don’t see them own how awful their relationship was and take steps to improve it together. Framing that transcendence as Shimizu’s happy ending—finding a place and people who genuinely accept and appreciate him—frames the avenue he took to reach it, the suicide pact, as a positive thing by association…which is so problematic. Yes, you could argue that the cult never went through with the suicide pact and that it was Wada who planned and triggered the explosion that killed and injured them, thus making their deaths martyrdom instead of suicide…but that does not detract from the fact that Pegasus knew what Wada was planning and let him do it without warning anyone. So even if Shimizu and the other cultists on that flying saucer were “martyred,” why the hell is Pegasus there? Either way, accepting such a reading romanticizes death, which is definitely something that did not happen with Aiko’s suicide—which was framed as sudden and stark and shocking and saddening and devastating—or any of the other deaths in this series.

So no…I am not too keen on Shimizu’s “death.” Or any part of the cult subplot, really. They robbed Shimizu of his agency, independence, and opportunity to decide whether to build a healthy relationship with Seki or not. Which speaks to Asano Inio’s issues with handing nuance or creating depth appropriately, I think, because the last third of Seki and Shimizu’s arc fumbles so many crucial issues and erases or overlooks other considerations that are so, so important. I apologize if that’s not what you meant at all, anon…all of this has been bothering me a lot since I finished Punpun.

In Which Everything Goes Absolutely Swimmingly

Happy Birthday @fangirlladybugandchatnoirlee! You’re turning 14 this year, right? Congratulations!

Words: 1,570
Summary: Backyard pools aren’t all that common in Paris, but that doesn’t mean that some people don’t have them. Rose was one of those people, and she was more than happy to share.


Marinette Dupain-Cheng didn’t realize that Paris could be so hot in the summer. That was a lie. She knew exactly how hot Paris could be in the summer. She just chose to forget. In fact, she was so eager to forget how hot it was that she was slumped over her desk, trying desperately to become one with the cool plastic. Next to her, Alya was in a similar state, only she was leaning back in her chair with her hair tied up as far as it would go and her shirt unbuttoned, revealing the white camisole she wore underneath. Both girls were ready for two things: for class to start, and for death. Whichever came first.

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Roque au Fabii

shit-escalates has a great post on Roque’s character here. It got me thinking, and below is my response to the question “on a scale of 1 - 10, how full of shit do people think Roque is when he says”:

“I didn’t mind that it was always about you, Darrow. That was what burned Tactus, but not me. I’m not in love with you like Mustang. I don’t worship you like Sevro or the Howlers. I was a true friend.”

Let’s try to deconstruct this statement line by line. If you’d prefer to not read this long post, just skip down to the TL;DR at the bottom. 

First line is honest, in my opinion. Remember that it was Roque who first reached out to Darrow after the Passage, and encouraged him to keep going. Roque wasn’t prompted to do this: he did it out of the decency of his own heart. When things became tough for him, Darrow, and Cassius (and it didn’t take long), Roque urged Darrow to make peace with the other members of House Mars. When Darrow refused, Roque scolded him but did not abandon him. Roque accepted that it was ‘all about Darrow’–Darrow couldn’t bear for House Mars to be strong if it meant that Antonia or, worse, Titus was the leader. Certainly later on when Darrow became the leader of House Mars, whenever Roque challenged or questioned his leadership, it was nearly always in a respectful way. (One exception was when Roque tried to reassure Mustang that Titus would be ‘brought to justice,’ but we can agree this was far more a signifier of Roque’s decency than any attempt to slight Darrow’s position).

Roque didn’t have a need to be a center of attention. This is why he was content to be quiet in the presence of others, and to spend time either with a few people or on his own, as we find him just before the Gala. Tactus was always loud and acting in often inappropriate ways to attract other peoples’ attention. He was a typical person with an inferiority complex trying to act superior to cover it up. Let’s not forget he tried to rape Nyla just to prove a point to Darrow. The points on Mustang and Sevro are also pretty clear, and in my mind it’s these supporting sentences which illuminate what Roque actually means. 

What he means by highlighting these other friends is twofold. One, it’s to make himself stand out amongst them and in that regard it’s self-aggrandizing to an extent. But setting that aside for a moment, it’s to show that these friends are all in it to get something out of Darrow. 

Tactus became a sort of friend for Darrow in part to help figure out his own complicated mess of a life. His relationship with Darrow took such a sudden turn in Red Rising because all of a sudden Darrow became a kind of arrow or compass or direction for Tactus to take. Out of her relationship with Darrow, Mustang got something romantic. Sevro and the Howlers, at least in Roque’s view, got a prototypical Gold, Darrow, to acknowledge as desirable the exact parts of them that other Golds dismissed as inferior. So what did Roque get out of his friendship with Darrow?

Nothing. Roque was Darrow’s friend just to be Darrow’s friend. He put up with so much pain–losing Lea, losing Quinn, possibly losing the affection of his mother (since he was prepared to go against her wishes by bidding for Darrow at his auction)–and for what? Just to be a good friend.

In this regard, I think what Roque’s saying is 100% true and accurate and heartfelt.

But the operating word in this final pivotal sentence is “was.” He’s clearly chilled to the idea of being Darrow’s friend by this scene, though it’s not as extreme a break as the concluding scene of Golden Son. Why is he not Darrow’s friend any longer? There are a long list of grievances, many of which are perfectly valid. Darrow’s definitely abused Roque’s friendship for too long. But another part of it is, a true friend accepts you for who you are and how you change. And it’s clear by that final scene of Golden Son that Roque perhaps never really ‘got’ Darrow. And here, as outsiders we can acknowledge he never looked deep enough. 

Roque thought Darrow was an Iron Gold. Noble and proud but ruthless and violent. He admired the idea of Darrow perhaps more than the reality. Perhaps the only way he put up with Darrow for so long was because the idea sometimes trumped the reality. This is similar to how enamored Roque is with the idea of the Society, rather than acknowledging its reality, as evidenced in his conversation with Darrow soon after their time at the Academy ends.

Roque never noticed the other-ness of Darrow in the way that Sevro did (it’s why he and the Howlers get so close to him at the Institute), or Mustang did (partly at the Institute, and very explicitly in Golden Son, with their conversation in the sparring room) or, hell, even Titus did (remember how Titus says in that pivotal Titus is a Red scene that at first he thought Darrow was ‘like him’?). You could say that Roque never really understood Darrow at all. At least, he didn’t understand Darrow the way Darrow deserves to be understood–who he is, not who others want him to be.

Roque accepted that Darrow was driven from the beginning, that Darrow would always have to come first. But Roque never really spent the time, or perhaps is simply incapable of figuring out and accepting why it has to be that way for Darrow. Sevro understands, and Mustang will probably come to understand, that it’s all about Darrow because otherwise there will never be justice in a world where the power of Gold suffocates all the other Colors. And that is the tragedy of Roque and Darrow’s relationship. 

TL;DR: That Roque believes what he says doesn’t make it true. That we are able to see the flaws in his thinking doesn’t make what he says untrue. As always, it is a matter of perspective. This is the genius of Red Rising

Gymnast: 'It was my leg or my life'

Kate Foster started gymnastics when she was 6 years old.

“I tried soccer, I did karate and then I started gymnastics and that really clicked with me. I loved it,” she said.

“You know you’ve got the right sport for your kid when they don’t complain about having to go – they really want to go,” said her mom, Barb Foster.By the time she was 11, Kate was practicing for 25 hours a week at the gym.

But then she started feeling sick off and on for several months – and the symptoms wouldn’t go away.“I just felt terrible all the time. I was tired, and I got a bunch of bruises. Then I started getting staph infections. That’s when we were like, ‘Something’s wrong here,’” Kate said.A blood test revealed she had acute myeloid leukemia.

The doctor broke the news to her parents.“We packed our bags and her bag. Kate was still at the gym,” her mom said. “We drove directly to the children’s hospital. They had a room waiting for us."Kate started chemotherapy immediately, and it wiped out her immune system."One of the reasons why my hospital stays were so long was because of my complications. My first hospital stay, I got a gangrene infection,” she said.

“All of a sudden, we went from cancer patient to she was on life support for three days,” her mom said.During her second hospital stay, Kate got another infection in the same leg and ended up in the intensive care unit. By her third round of chemo, before her bone marrow transplant, doctors found an infection in her knee joint.“That’s when they finally said, 'We have to amputate,’” Kate recalled. “I was devastated. I actually told them no. They were not going to take off my leg. … Then I came to my senses. I knew, and my family knew, that it was my leg or my life."At that point, said her dad, Lynn Foster, "She started crying, and she said, 'What about gymnastics?’”

Then Kate’s coach said something to her that really changed her mindset.“She said, 'I’ve never taught a one-legged gymnast before, but I’m willing to try if you are,’” Kate said.That motivated her to get back to the sport she loved.“Kate is all driven from the inside,” said her coach, Denise Cooper. “I think that’s what made her such a great fighter against leukemia.”

Kate went back to the gym for the first time on her 13th birthday. She started out conditioning and regaining her strength. Once she got her prosthetic, she began working on her events and getting her skills back.“I wasn’t going to let cancer change what I did and what I was going to do,” she said.Now she competes against able-bodied gymnasts in two events on bars and beam.“They do not change the rules for her, which is fine with her,” her dad said. “She doesn’t want the rules to be changed.”                                              

“She’s the epitome of 'It doesn’t matter what bump in the road you hit, you can still make things work,’” he said.Now a senior in high school, Kate has been cancer-free for more than three years.“I would like to be a doctor when I grow up,” she said. “With all my experiences and the doctors who helped me and saved my life, I can’t think of a better way to repay them than helping other people and possibly saving another person’s life.”

@moonbearmiles || Twins: Max & Desmond


Ever since they were very small, Maxwell had always been protective and possessive of his twin brother, Desmond. It all went back to the circumstances of their birth; their poor mother had developed a sudden complication which led to early labor, which doctors were able to forestall. However, they were only successful after Desmond had already been born, premature at only twenty-nine weeks. Maxwell managed to make it to a respectable thirty-six weeks before he deemed it was time to join his brother, who by this point was finally showing signs that he was thriving. Placing the boys together in an incubator was a turning point: Desmond’s heart rate picked up, his respiration got better, and he was finally able to take a bottle instead of a feeding tube.

As small children, Max would shield Desmond from any perceived threat. He would stand between his brother and strangers, steer him away from people or situations he didn’t trust. Desmond got sick often, and he would fuss and scowl over him until he was feeling better.

In school, they had to be placed in separate classes because Max would often lash out at other students or teachers he thought were being unfair to his brother. Their family moved into a larger home so the boys could have separate bedrooms, but Max would sneak into bed with Desmond anyway, hugging his brother to protect him from the dangers of the dark.

Like all boys, puberty brought a slew of new problems. There was an unspoken understanding that there were no secrets between them, as they discussed the various ways they were growing up.

It wasn’t until they were sixteen, during a particularly rough thunderstorm (storms always scared Desmond, and Max always crawled into bed with him at the first sign of one) that things… turned.

Shut up and dance with me!

A Noragami fanfiction


Summary:  It´s a hot summer afternoon when Hiyori pays Yato and Yukine a visit. To her surprise the two of them are having a little party with Kofuku, Daikoku, Bishamon and Kazuma. They are dancing and Yato offers Hiyori to teach her how to do it.

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You can listen to THIS SONG while reding , I listened to it while writing it ;3




It was a hot summer afternoon when Hiyori decided to pay Yato and Yukine a visit. But when she was heading to the store that should still be open, there was nobody there. Even the house seemed to be empty.

The only sign of life was the noise that was coming from the backyard.


Curiously she took a look from a save distance to see what was going on. Thats when she noticed that the noise was actually music. The whole gang had settled down in Kofuku´s and Daikoku´s backyard, listening to music, drinking beer, except of Yukine of course and watching Kofuku and Daikoku while they were dancing. Even Bishamon and Kazuma where there.

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Hysteria- Chapter 3

After the movie ended, I carried Jax into my bedroom and tucked him in before pulling my pajamas out of a box, putting them on and brushing my teeth. I crawled into bed and picked up my phone, which I had neglected for a few hours. I had two missed calls from an unfamiliar number and a voicemail.

I furrowed my brow in confusion and put my phone to my ear, playing the message. “Hey Ev,” I recognized his voice immediately, though it was lower and more articulate than I remembered from all those years ago.”I got your number from your mum. I can’t seem to find you on Facebook or anything. I just have to ask you- I mean I’m pretty sure I already know the answer, but, I- I don’t know- I guess I just need to actually hear it from you. Is-” He paused, and I heard him take a deep breath and exhale. “Is he mine?”

Tears pricked at my eyes. He sounded so hurt and confused, and I had done that to him. I set my jaw and sniffled, forcing myself to remember his words when I told him he was pregnant. ‘You’re not keeping it though right? I mean you can’t possibly. We can’t have a baby. We can hardly take care of ourselves- I mean we practically are babies.” He had said it like it was so obvious, like there was no other choice but to give him up, and he shattered my heart into a million splinters with those few sentences. Why does he get to sound hurt about it now? I’ve put in nearly five years of raising this child, loving him, devoting myself to him. He doesn’t get to waltz in and pretend to be a father this late in the game. And Jax doesn’t need that kind of confusion.

I stared at my phone for a few minutes before sending him a text. All it said was “Yes.” He deserves to know, sure, he has that much right. But I’m leaving it at that. I put the phone on silent and placed it on the nightstand before pulling out my ponytail and letting my ruffling my elbow length auburn hair. Rolling over, I pulled my son into my arms and placed a soft kiss on his head. Still sleeping, he snuggled closer and placed a small hand on my cheek. I smiled and closed my eyes, squeezing him close and drifting into a deep sleep.

-

I woke up the next morning before Jax- which rarely happens. I slipped out of bed carefully so as not to wake him up and headed into the kitchen. After opening up a box and finding a mug, I made myself a cup of tea and sat down at the table with a book. I felt a little guilty, like I should be unpacking or doing something more productive with my alone time, but I just wanted to relax by myself for a bit.

 I hadn’t checked my phone since the night before, and I didn’t really intend to. Or at least not until I had to. I don’t know what freaked me out more from Dan, a response or silence. Either way, I wasn’t ready for that answer, and I planned on avoiding it until I was.

After about a half hour Jax still wasn’t up- the move and the walking about yesterday must have tired him out a lot- so I put my book down and began to unpack. By the time he came around the corner rubbing his eyes I had most of our small collection of dishes unpacked. “Good morning sleepy head!” I said, smiling as he sat down on at the table.

“G’morning mum. Can we have pancakes?”

“I’m sorry, hun, we don’t have the stuff for me to make pancakes with. We only have cereal for breakfast.”

He looked down at his feet, pouting. “How about this?” I continued, “We’ll have cereal this morning, and then we’ll go see the London Eye with Aunt Jenny, and then for dinner we’ll have a pancake buffet?”

His eyes had lit up ever since he heard the words ‘Aunt Jenny.’ “Yes! Please that will be so much fun!” he said nearly bouncing up and down with excitement.

 It took about an hour and a half to get the two of us ready. By the time we had eaten, showered, dressed, and scheduled a meeting time with my sister, we were both more than ready to get out of our cluttered with boxes apartment. “Mum,” Jax said as we sat down on the tube headed to the Waterloo station stop. “You really need to get started with unpacking. It has been two whole days!”

He sounded so deadpan that I couldn’t help but laugh. “I think it usually takes more than two days to fully unpack and finish moving. But you’re right, I do need to get started. Though I did unpack a lot of dishes this morning.”

 “Good job, I’m proud of you.” I wrapped my arm around him and hugged him close in thanks.

My younger sister Jenny was waiting by the station when we walked out. Jax ran into her arms and she lifted him up before going, “Oof! You’re almost getting too big for me to do that.”

He started running his fingers through her long blonde curls, a habit of his, and puffed out his chest, “Well I am almost five.” Jenny and I shared a look and a chuckle before heading to the huge London Eye. After waiting in line for about a half hour, we got in one of the large pods and luckily enough had it to ourselves. Jax pretty much smashed himself against the glass and stuck there, in awe of the amazing view of the city. Thankfully, this gave me a chance to talk to Jenny.

“How did the move go? When will you let me come over and see it?” she asked, nudging my shoulder.

I laughed, “The move was fine. I’m still unpacking. And you already saw it when we were touring places for me to get.”

She rolled her emerald eyes. “That doesn’t count it didn’t have any of your stuff in it.” I shrugged. “But really, though, are you liking London so far? I hated it when I first moved here- it was to metropolitan- but I got used to it. Now I feel like I’ll never leave. I’m so happy you and Jax are so close now.”

I nodded, “I’m glad we’re closer too. It will be really nice to be able to see you more often.” We lapsed into a comfortable silence, both watching as Jax fussed excitedly over the city. Finally, I spoke again, “I saw him.”

Jenny looked confused. “Who?” In response I merely raised my eyebrows and nodded my head in the direction of Jax. Jenny’s mouth dropped and she mouthed, ‘Dan?’ and I nodded affirmation. “Holy shit,” she said. I elbowed and shushed her language. “Sorry, sorry! No swearing in front of him, I know. It just slipped. Was Jax with you?”

“Yeah, he was. And Dan saw him. We were out for a walk and stopped at a Starbucks just a few blocks down the road from the flat. He ended up in line behind us. Apparently he lives near there,” I sighed heavily, thinking about how I still hadn’t gotten a response to the text I sent him last night.

“Wow, what are the odds. That is like, really terrible luck. Did you tell him? Like did he figure it out?”

“He got my number from mum and called asking if Jax was his. I texted him yes, but haven’t heard anything back. I don’t know if I want to. If he doesn’t respond things can just continue on and they have. I mean, Jax and I are perfectly fine and happy without that complication.”

“It’s a lot to handle. He may just need time to process before he responds. I mean, can you imagine all of the sudden finding out you have a five year old?”

I shook my head and looked down at my hands. “No I can’t.” I raised my head and gazed out at the city, realizing we had already made it to the top of the Eye.

She clapped a hand on my leg and stood. “Well let me know how that situation plays out.” She strolled over to Jackson and knelt down to his level and began telling him about the different buildings they could see. Smiling, I joined them, wrapping an arm around my son and soaking in our new home.

The rest of the evening was fantastic. After the London Eye, we spent some time wandering around Hyde Park and grabbing pizza for lunch. Soon it was time to part ways and Jax and I headed back to the new apartment. I made the promised pancakes for dinner and put in a movie for Jax to keep him entertained while I did more unpacking. I needed to get his room ready so he didn’t have to keep spending every night with me. Not that I minded. In fact, I preferred when he slept in my bed and snuggled, but I knew for his development that he needed to have his own room and his own space. I didn’t want to have a 12 year old someday that still wanted to sleep in his mum’s bed.

By the time I was finished getting his room ready the movie was over and it was time for bed. I tucked him in, read a bit of Harry Potter- we were a quarter of the way through the Philosopher’s Stone- and kissed him goodnight. It was only 9 o’clock, but I was exhausted as well. I collapsed onto my bed and almost didn’t notice my phone vibrating. I held it up to see that I had a new message- one from the same number that had called twice yesterday. It read, “I think we need to talk.”

paxfelis  asked:

Are there instances of a wizard adjusting a self-description in the name of "improvement" or "adjustment"? The temptation to describe away a fatal disease or a crippling mental state must be extreme.

Of course there are. This whole issue lies very much in the “wizard’s prerogative” area, and personal choice is (as usual) at the heart of it all.

When a probationary wizard accepts the offered Oath, one of the most basic understandings is that the wizard will be willing to accept not only responsibility for what they do with the power, but for the consequences. In this regard the Powers that Be are perfectly willing to treat wizards, even quite young ones, as if they know their own minds (jeez, what a concept) and are equipped to make their own choices. Those who consciously or unconsciously expect some kind of automatic protection or failsafe between them and something they really shouldn’t have done, or should have thought through more completely, will quickly discover that there isn’t one. The Powers have a whole lot of better things to do with their time than act as supernatural “helicopter parents.”

And as far as whatever changes a wizard wants to make to their own physicality, the Powers are just fine with that too. They do however expect the responsible practitioner (as a matter of course) to do the necessary research to find out if the changes are necessary, workable, useful, or wise. (The Troptic Stipulation is rightly negative about unnecessary change to a system. There is some wiggle room in the evaluation of necessity, of course: see Tom’s discussion of the Stipulation in practice rather than theory.) How you enact the changes are your business. And if you somehow damage yourself or screw up something vital while working on yourself? That’s your business too. Repairs will be your responsibility. But ideally you will be expected not to do things that will adversely affect your effective performance as a wizard. That’s what you were given the power for, after all.

Discover that you’ve got a potentially terminal disease? By all means, cure it! — assuming there are no complicating circumstances. Nearsighted? Talk your eyeballs longer. Broke your leg and don’t care to spend six to eight weeks in a cast? Have a word with the bone in question; just make sure you can explain your sudden recovery away if you need to. Want to adjust your body chemistry and physical structure to better reflect your gender of preferred identification? Your business — again, keeping in mind what effects this may have on those around you who matter to you, and how this will impact your practice. Thinking about tinkering with the inner workings of your brain? Best do your research first — and it’d be smart to consult a physical- or mental-health professional who’s also a wizard. But at the end of the day, it’s your call, no one else’s. No one in the wizardly frame of reference is going to judge you for what you choose to do to yourself. (Though if you make a mess of things — if you jumped into some intervention without adequate research, without due care taken — you may hear some uncensored opinions from those you call in to help you put things right. And that too will be something you brought on yourself.)

That said: there will always be some wizards* who — presented with a physical or mental challenge — will elect, rather than removing it, to “play the hand they’re dealt” — if only to see, when the endgame rolls around, what the heck the point was. Or if there even was a point. This is their prerogative: a judgment call that no one else is entitled to make.

So, in short: it’s complicated. But what’s worthwhile that isn’t?

*And even some nonwizards. Cf. Nita’s mother at the end of The Wizard’s Dilemma.