this got a little bit better than my other garden drawing

Downright Neighborly; Part Two

Fandom: WWE/TNA

Pairing: Jeff Hardy/Female Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Thirst Party Saturday Crew, welcome aboard our jaunty ship once again! Tagging our usual suspects, the Prince Of Badasses @toxiicpop, Strowman’s Maestro @hardcorewwetrash and the All-Seeing Polaris @oraclegazes!

(Also I apologize, but due to my laptop losing its mind every time I try to tag people I’m going to abandon the ‘new tagees’ list. I am so sorry everyone! D: ) Enjoy!

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“i was hoping you could write something where like, you have a bestfriend for a long time and you always insult eachother and joke around A LOT until you let him spend the night and you both start complimenting eachother and get all flustered and he ends up awkwardly trying to kiss you and etc. ( the more blushing and awkwardness, the better )”

This person messaged me to give extra details, which you can totally do because it’s easier for me to write! I combined it with this request cause I thought they fit well together:

“Could u make one when ur walking out of school to go home + u literally bump into him + he decides to walk u since ur houses r in the same direction + when u get to ur house u invite him in + watch a movie, cuddle, kiss and cute fluffy stuff happen😊”

Word count: 2.9k

You watch the clock on the wall, counting down the seconds until the bell rings. It’s the last period of the day on Friday, and right now the second hand is the only thing standing in between you and the sweet freedom of the weekend. 5…4…3…2…1… the bell goes off at last and you jump up and exit the classroom before the teacher can assign last minute homework.

Once you have all your things and you’ve waved goodbye to your friends, you push open the front doors of the school and step out, breathing in the crisp air with a smile. Ahhh, Fridays. Like the tasty dessert after an unpleasant meal. You adjust your backpack straps and start walking home, thinking about what you’ll do with your weekend.

The sidewalk makes a right angle and you cut the corner a bit, walking across the grass. As your feet hit concrete again, something slams into you and you fall over.

“What the-” you look up, trying to identify your attacker. An outstretched hand descends from the sky, and behind it, there is a concerned face saying “Sorry, sorry, sorry!” It’s your best friend and crush, (c/n).

You grab his hand and let him pull you up, brushing the dirt off your butt. “Thanks for that,” you say sarcastically.

“Sorry!” he says one more time, hands held up defensively. “But I must say, it’s your fault for walking right in front of me like that. I don’t have the best reflexes when I’m on a moving bike,” he adds, reaching down to pick up the fallen bike in question.

You laugh. “My bad, you’re probably right. Bike is okay?”

He pats the bike and nods. “Better question is, are you?”

“Yeah I think I’m good,” you reply, pretending to check for broken ribs. “Bones are all intact.” You flash him a smile and start walking forward again.

“Fantastic,” he says, walking his bike beside you. “Heading home?”

“Yes, I’m very excited to veg out in front of the TV for several hours.”

“Same,” he agrees. “Why don’t I walk you home, to make sure you don’t get yourself into any more accidents?”

“See, the problem with that logic is you’re the reason I fell over in the first place,” you point out. Plus your house is on the way to his anyway, but you decide not to mention that.

(C/n) thinks about this for a second. “I guess you could say you…fell for me?” He grins charmingly.

You clap a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing. “Wow, we really need to work on your pickup lines,” you tease. Of course, you secretly think it’s cute as hell, and you have no problem with being on the receiving end of said cheesy pickup lines. That won’t stop you from giving him a hard time, though.

“Are you suggesting you’re better at this than I am?” He arches an eyebrow in a silent challenge.

“Definitely,” you say confidently.

“Alright then, impress me with your flirting skills.”

“Okay, get ready for this cause you’re gonna be blown away.” You smile and flip your hair for extra effect. “Are you a fire alarm? Cause you’re loud and annoying,” you finish, smirking at his expression as he processes what you said.

“That was not a pickup line!” he protests.

“Well, it was true!” you tease.

He shakes his head disapprovingly. “This is why you’re still single.”

“Hey!” You punch him in the arm. “Like you’re any less single than I am.”

“Fair enough,” he concedes.

“And I think I should warn you that you can’t get girls by running them over,” you advise sagely. “Generally not considered very romantic.”

“Really, cause that’s what I’d call making the first move!” he jokes.

You sigh. “Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless.”

You arrive in front of your house, but hesitate before walking up to the door. You don’t want to stop talking to (c/n). “Hey, (c/n), uhh…you wanna come in for a bit?” You bite your lip nervously.

(C/n) grins. “Okay, sure.”

He parks his bike against the side of your house and then follows you through the front door.

“Are you hungry?” you ask him as he looks around the house, taking everything in. He nods absentmindedly. You search through the kitchen for something worth feeding (c/n). After a minute or so you emerge from the pantry with a bag of microwaveable popcorn, and hold it up, shaking it up and down. “Popcorn?”

(C/n) looks up. “Perfect.”

You put the bag in the microwave, which emits a chorus of pops. (C/n) comes over, making popping noises with his mouth. You laugh at him. “You weirdo.”

“Dude, we should totally watch a movie,” he says suddenly as you pull the finished popcorn out of the microwave. “We’ve already got the popcorn, haven’t we?”

You shrug nonchalantly, hiding your eagerness to spend two plus hours with (c/n). “Why not, it is Friday after all.” You lead him down to the basement and plop down on the couch in front of the TV. He sits next to you, close enough that your thighs touch. As you open Netflix, he puts an arm around your shoulders. “Netflix and chill?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

You laugh. “You’re still not cute. Getting warmer though!” You scroll through the available movies, conscious that (c/n)’s arm hasn’t left your shoulders.

“Let’s watch a horror movie,” (c/n) suggests, jiggling his leg excitedly. You can feel it against your leg. You groan. “God no, I’ll be screaming in your ear the whole time.”

He shrugs. “I can take it.” He grins. “I’ll protect you from the scary monsters,” he says teasingly.

“Okay, fine,” you relent, sighing. You have to admit that watching a horror movie with your crush protecting you doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. You come across the movie Sinister. “Is this a good one? Looks pretty scary,” you say.

“Hell yes. Hit play.” You start the movie and settle back against the couch. (C/n)’s arm is still around you.

The movie starts out tamely enough, with Ethan Hawke’s friendly puppy face and nothing particularly terrifying. You eat your popcorn contentedly, your hands occasionally bumping into (c/n)’s. After a little while you rest your head on his shoulder, and he doesn’t object. You smile, knowing that he usually hates physical contact and would push anyone else away.

It doesn’t take long for things to take a turn for the scarier, however. Some scenes, you just know something is coming, and tense up as the suspense builds. (C/n)’s arm tightens around you in response, pulling the two of you closer each time. Other times there are completely unexpected jump scares, and as predicted, you scream loudly every time.

At one particularly bad jump scare where the demon Bughuul suddenly appears in the garden, you screech in terror and hide your face in (c/n)’s shirt. He chuckles and you feel his arms go around you, shielding you from the outside world. “Wow, you weren’t kidding,” he says, as though impressed by how scared you are. You peek up at him to see him looking down at you in amusement. “How are you so unaffected?” you ask him, bewildered at his completely calm demeanor.

“Nothing can faze me,” he says proudly.

“Ooh, you’re so manly,” you say sarcastically. “What happens when I do this?” You tickle his sides, and he shrieks. You laugh hysterically at his reaction.

As he recovers he points to the screen. “Okay, let’s pay attention, we already missed an important plot point!”

You oblige, sitting up a little but still leaning partially into him, his arms still lazily encircling you.

A while later the movie draws to a very dramatic close. You breathe out as the camera pans out on the box of films, the excitement seemingly over. But right before the end of the movie, Bughuul’s face suddenly pops up. You scream again and dive into the safety of (c/n)’s shirt, wrapping your arms tightly around his chest. You feel him shaking with laughter under you. “You’re such a wimp,” he teases.

You flip him off without lifting your head. You’re very comfortable and not about to move. (C/n)’s heart is beating right by your ear. When he chuckles it rumbles in his chest. “I don’t mind, it makes me look tougher by comparison,” he adds jokingly.

You get an idea, and sit up a little bit. “Hey (c/n).”


“Wanna sleep over?”

“Really?” He starts to smile.


“Okay, let me run home and get my stuff.” He tries to get up but you’re still lying on his chest.

“Don’t leave,” you whine, “just call your mom.”

He laughs and moves a strand of hair behind your ear. “I live like practically next door, it’ll only take a second.” He tries to stand again. “Get up, you lazy ass.”

You roll away, grumbling. Already feeling sleepy, you don’t move as he goes upstairs and leaves your house. Your eyes close and you lie still, waiting for him to return.

You wake maybe fifteen minutes later to (c/n) shaking you. “(Y/n)! Did you seriously fall asleep?”

You rub your eyes. “Wha-” (C/n)’s concerned face comes into focus. “Maybe you should go to bed right away,” he suggests.

“No!” You jump up, fighting the sudden dizziness and trying to act awake. “No way, not before dinner.”

He grins. “And what is dinner, exactly?”

You ponder this. “Takeout? What do you want?”

“Chinese,” he decides. You nod in agreement. “Good call.”

Half an hour later you’re sitting criss cross on the basement floor across from (c/n), with rice, dumplings, chicken and noodles between you. As you feast, you tell stories.

“Okay, your turn. Most embarrassing moment,” you challenge him.

“Oh, god.” (C/n) groans and covers his face with his hands, laughing slightly. “Oh man.”

“This is gonna be good.” You rub your hands together excitedly.

He makes a pained face and sighs in resignation. “Okay. So picture this. I’m like 10 or 11, sitting in class, nervous as hell cause I’m about to give a presentation. Funny thing is, I have no idea what it was about. I think I was so traumatized I forgot.”

“Go on,” you encourage him, not without a hint of sadistic enjoyment.

“So the teacher calls me up to present and I walk up to the front of the room. I almost fall over cause my legs are shaking so much. But I make it up there anyway. And then…I totally freeze up and just stand there, staring out at the class.” He winces at the memory.

“Dude, that’s not that bad,” you say, a little disappointed.

“Oh no, it’s not over yet,” he replies grimly. “As I stand there paralyzed, I feel something warm on my leg…” (C/n) grabs a nearby pillow and hides his face in it. His muffled voice comes out: “I peed my pants in front of the entire class.”

You burst out laughing. He removes the pillow and glares at you. His face is red, which only makes you laugh harder. He throws the pillow at your head. “Stop laughing at me!”

“Okay, okay.” You stifle a last giggle. “Honestly that wasn’t even that bad,” you reassure him after a moment.

“Oh really, have you done it too?” (C/n) grins and raises an eyebrow at you. It’s your turn to throw the pillow at him. “No way!” you say, laughing. Then you notice the pillow landed in the noodles. “Whoops.”

“Okay, I think that’s our cue to clean up,” (c/n) decides.

You put all the leftovers in the fridge and clear away the plates. After you kill a couple of hours playing video games, you decide to set up your sleeping bags so you can lie in bed and talk for several more hours.

You lay them down side by side and climb into them, facing each other. You’ve put on your pajamas, which consist of shorts and a camisole, and quickly realize that the air conditioned basement and thin sleeping bag are a bad combination. After a couple minutes you start shivering.

(C/n) notices and frowns. “You’re cold,” he says.

“Oh, nah, I’m fine,” you deny weakly. “It’s like a sauna in here.”

“Yeah, right, I can practically hear your teeth chattering. Come here.” He beckons with his finger.

You scoot closer to him like a large worm wriggling sideways. He smiles. “Just get in here,” he says, pointing into his sleeping bag.

You giggle nervously. “In there? With you?” Your face is suddenly warm even though you still feel cold.

“Yeah, there’s plenty of room,” he says, opening up the sleeping bag to show you. “And it’s very thick and veerry comfortable.” He grins.

“Okay, if you say so,” you respond casually, though inside of course you’re totally freaking out. You unzip your bag and clamber over to his, sliding inside. Immediately (c/n) puts his arms around you and pulls you into him, pressing you close against him. You can feel his skin against your bare arms. Warmth radiates from his body.

“Wow, you’re really warm,” you whisper, already feeling the comfortable heaviness of sleep pressing in.

He smirks. “Told you.”

“Thanks for letting me invade your personal space,” you say jokingly.

He smiles. “My pleasure.” After a moment he adds, quite out of the blue, “You know, you have a really nice voice.”

“What?” You lift your head and look at him, furrowing your eyebrows.

You feel him shrug next to you. “Your voice. It’s just…really soft and soothing. When I hear it it’s like I’m being wrapped in a fluffy blanket. I could listen to you talk forever.” He shakes his head, smiling. “It’s like…listening to really good music. I don’t know.” He looks away, blushing.

“Oh, thanks…” you smile slightly. Your face feels warm and you wonder if you’re as red as he is. “I like your voice too.”

(C/n) starts stroking your hair lightly, which gives you chills (the good kind). After a moment he says quietly, “And your hair, too, it’s so soft, and like, perfect.”

You reach up and ruffle his adorably fluffy hair. “I like yours more.”

He chuckles, and even though you’ve turned the lights off you can tell his whole face is pink. “Honestly everything about you is perfect,” he whispers.

Your heart starts to race, and you’re close enough to feel his heart beating rapidly as well. “Really?” you whisper back, at a loss for words.

“Yeah.” He lifts a finger up to your mouth and softly traces your lips. You’re so nervous you couldn’t move if you wanted to, and you don’t.

(C/n) looks up at you and back at your mouth, and then leans in as if trying to kiss you. But you’re both still lying on your sides, and your noses bump awkwardly. You stifle a giggle. He laughs too and hides his face in your neck. Then he props himself up with one arm so he’s leaning over you, and for the second time, he brings his face to yours. This time, your lips connect.

You feel as though fireworks are going off around you. He strokes your face with one hand as he kisses you, and when you pull apart several seconds later, he’s staring intently into your eyes, as if he sees something inside them.

“(Y/n), I really like you,” he murmurs in a husky voice.

You reach up and play with a bit of his hair that’s sticking out, hardly able to believe this is happening. “I really like you too,” you whisper almost inaudibly.

(C/n) smiles. “Well, that works out nicely,” he says, and you laugh giddily. He kisses you on the forehead before settling back down next to you. He pulls you into him and you rest your head on his chest. You can feel his heart still beating fast, but after a few minutes it slows along with his breathing. Exhaustion settles heavily over you from the rough week at school, and wrapped comfortably in (c/n)’s arms, it doesn’t take you long to fall asleep.

Crossing the Institute’s threshold, Izzy immediately knows where she’s headed as the heavy doors swing closed behind her. It’s been a crap day, her mission going awry and then the rest of her day following the trend, making her more tired than usual. She could just go and relax in her room, put her hair up and read, head over to Clary’s room and rant about everything wrong in the world or see what her rascal of a little brother is up to, but she doesn’t.

She passes by the training room and greets Jace with a wave and a smile. He salutes back before going back to wailing on the punching bag.

It’s quiet, the clicking of Izzy’s heels announcing her presence before she even reaches the room. All the electronics in the OPS centre hum in unison, the blue hue from the screens reflecting against the buckles on her boots when she moves past them. A few stray Shadowhunters swipe across holographic displays of New York, looking focused. One or two pick up their heads and nod at Izzy before going back to their tasks.

For once, Izzy is glad for the lack of attention. Her ankle keeps sending out waves of dull pain up her leg, even after a generous use of an Iratze, it’s something anyone could notice and she doesn’t feel like explaining herself.

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anonymous asked:

May I request for some fluffy Gency in a Witch Mercy AU please?

Me, @ me: Please, Sarah, we can’t keep doing this

Also Me, chanting: WITCH! MERCY! NOW!


Many years ago, a witch in Eichenwalde was out gathering mushrooms when she crossed paths with a monk from a far-off land. The monk was terribly hunched over from a great weight on his back and the witch, being a woman of a charitable heart, approached to help him. As she drew closer, she saw the sack the monk had slung over his shoulder wasn’t very large at all. Curious, she addressed him.

“Monk,” she said, “What have you got in that sack there?”

“A terrible burden that I shall be glad to be rid of,” said the monk, continuing to walk.

The witch matched his pace easily. “May I see it?” she asked.

The monk looked her up and down. The witch didn’t exactly look like a witch, she was tall and fair, with white-gold hair and gray-blue eyes, so, supposing he might as well stop for a breath, he opened the sack to her. Inside the sack was a fine porcelain tea leaf pot, painted with chrysanthemums and blooming tree branches, and the pot itself was veined with gold. The top of the pot was corked, and the cork itself sealed around the rim of the porcelain with paper with fine calligraphy on it, though the witch could not exactly make out what it said.

“How lovely!” said the witch, “Why should anyone want to be rid of such a treasure?”

The monk gave a huff. “I’ve trapped an evil spirit in this pot,” he said, “And I go to throw it in the icy seas north of here.”

“An evil spirit?” said the witch. It is worth noting at this point that the witch did not believe him, simply because of the fact that whenever she had to travel with an object of high value, she would tell anyone who asked about it that it was terribly cursed and she was going to destroy it, and usually they believed her and she was able to avoid many a bandit by that means. She was a witch, this much was true, but hers was not a magic of demons trapped in jars sealed off with cork and paper, hers was a magic of healing, of green and growing things, and of ancient texts. For her, demons were minor nuisances who made milk soil and put blood in goose eggs and were easily warded off with a word or a good sweep of the besom. If the demon were any serious matter, she would feel it.

The monk nodded gravely. “I was very lucky, you see, this spirit is drawn to beautiful things, so this pot made a good trap. The first time I trapped it in the pot, it screamed and railed and shook so that the pot shattered. Undeterred, I repaired the pot and filled the cracks with gold so that it was even more beautiful. The demon could not resist, and thus I trapped it for good this time.”

“How did you get it to fall for the same trick twice?” asked the witch with a smile.

“I was also lucky in the fact that this demon is also a fool, and a vain one at that. But now I really must be going. I am not moving nearly as swiftly with a burden like this, and I must reach the northern sea.”

“I could take it to the northern sea for you,” the witch offered politely.

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Summary: Life as a mafia Queen

A/N: In celebration of this blog reaching 5K followers, here is a little mafia one-shot, running on from the previous two series…O.o 

Originally posted by coupdetop

What happened after

‘You’re going to greatly regret kidnapping me.’

You watch the guy snort, from where you were bound to the ornate gold framed chair in the main hall, the visuals of your father’s mansion that you and the rest of the boys had moved into a few months back, making the situation seem as though you were resting on a throne— although the ropes tied slightly too tight as they crisscrossed over your chest and around the chair marred the image slightly.

‘I assume you think we don’t know who we’re dealing with; you think we’re underestimating the mighty Kwon Jiyong, yes?’ the guy questions in a gravelly, yet strangely smooth, dark, tone of voice, the smirk twisting his face making you want to loosen your restraints early with the rage that it makes you feel, but you figure you’ll tease him just a little longer.

‘Hmm, that wasn’t the main reason I was thinking of…but it is definitely NOT something you should joke about.’ You respond, fingering the knots around your wrists absent-mindedly as you regard the man before you, flickering your gaze to the group of 4 men behind him and seeing them sharing similarly big-headed smirks.

‘Well then…Princess…what were you thinking of?’ he sneers, walking close to you and leaning down temptingly in your face, his proximity meaning you smell the dirt and body odor rolling off of him, scrunching your nose up in response before smiling pleasantly at him.

‘Why have you decided to kidnap me? …Money, Assets, Power? Whatever it is…you shouldn’t have bothered…you wont get any of them. If you leave now, and leave me tied up here, You’re likely to get out alive…Jiyong may not even find out— although you should assume, the minute you stepped foot onto our land, that he was aware of you being here.’ You threaten, letting your eyes roam around the room and taking in all of the potential weapons that could be used as an attack mechanism.

‘And what if we don’t leave before the mighty Mr Kwon returns? What happens then, hm? You’ll have to watch us destroy your house before your eyes. Princess, Jiyong poses no threat for us…-‘

He trails off as he registers your dark chuckle, his eyes narrowing and lip curling as he watches your reaction, and you feel the rush of adrenaline run through you as you pluck the ropes from your wrists, bringing your hands out from behind your back as you get to your feet and feeling an innocent smirk curve your lips at the way the men behind him all raise their guns immediately, your threat factor obviously increasing dramatically.

But you weren’t done yet.

‘Who said Jiyong was the main threat?’

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Kick-Ass Chicks: Luki O’Keefe

There’s something about Luki’s photos that standout amongst the thousands of other surf photographers, and for us it’s the way she captures tranquil moments in the ocean with a modernized retro vibe that gives us all the nostalgic feels. We’ve spent hours scrolling through her Instagram feed getting lost in the serene colors and gorgeous light she snaps, and just had to learn more about her. We’re chatting with Luki about how she inherited her love for the ocean, and what her dream shoot would be (hint hint, this one includes time travel!).

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First Time

word count: 3 014
warnings: smut

summary: Y/N is a virgin and has her first time with her best friend, Kai.
note: I feel like at some points it’s a bit too cheesy, but anyway I hope you like it :)

*gif by me

(requested by @mrsobrien888)

Nervously she walked up to his door, still asking herself if she should really do it. What if it would destroy their friendship? What if they wouldn’t even be able to look the other in the eye anymore? Not in the world did she want to lose him. 

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door, waiting for Kai to open up. She ran her hands through her hair and tugged on her clothes hoping it had been the right decision. 

It only took seconds until a smiling Kai opened the door, pulling Y/N in for a hug before she could say anything. He held her tightly as she breathed in his familiar scent, giving her a feeling of security. Being this near to him calmed her down a bit and assured her she was doing the right thing. Out of all her friends, he would be the one who wouldn’t be going to judge her and who was the only one she trusted enough to do it. 

She broke away from the hug and walked past her best friend, directly heading towards the couch where she lay herself down. Kai followed not soon after, taking a seat on the armrest, watching Y/N with a curious expression. He could definitely see something was bothering her and it annoyed him he didn’t know what it was. It was just that he didn’t want to ask; she would probably tell him soon enough. 

But she didn’t.

She kept quiet, her eyes literally glued to the TV nervously tapping on the fabric with her fingers and trying to avoid Kai’s gaze. When he couldn’t stand the silence between them anymore, Kai reached out to grab the remote and turn off the TV. Though she just kept staring at the black screen. 

“Come on, Y/N, I can see something’s up. Tell me what it is.” Kai said, pleading. When she didn’t answer him, he got a devilish look on his face as he slowly started to make his way towards her. “If you don’t talk I have ways to make you do.”

With that, he started tickling her making her laugh and squirm underneath him. It was a wonder they both didn’t fall off the couch since they were moving so much. 

“Stop! Please, stop. I’ll tell you what’s going on.” She trailed off, still laughing. Kai stopped tickling her and took place on his former seat again while Y/N got up to face her best friend. He had slightly tilted his face to one side, an encouraging expression in his blue eyes.  

Absently she kneaded her hands and sighed as she started to talk. “Well… umm… god, it’s so embarrassing.” Hiding her face with her hands, she tried to conceal her nervousness. But Kai moved closer towards her and grabbed her wrists, gently pulling them away. He gave her a supporting smile, motioning for her to continue. 

“I kinda need your help.” She explained, biting her lower lip. Kai still held her wrists, starting to stroke her hands with his thumb. 

“Whatever it is, just tell me, and I’ll do it. By now you should know I’d do anything for you.“ He said seriously, nothing than truth in his words. Lately, he had realized a strange feeling inside his stomach whenever Y/N was around. His heart began to beat faster, and he was feeling all warm and fuzzy. Especially when he was touching her, feeling her soft skin under his touch. 

“You know… I’m still umm… I’m still a virgin, and I wanted to ask if-” Before she could even finish her sentence she was interrupted by a happy Kai. 

“I’ll do it.”

“You don’t have to it, it’s-” She started, but again was cut off by her counterpart.

“I told you, I’d do anything for you. You’re my best friend, Y/N. And to be honest, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” He ensured her smilingly, pulling her closer towards him and wrapping his arms around her. She lay her head on his chest, to which he responded with a kiss on her forehead. While he was tracing invisible patterns on her arm, she closed her eyes, sensing how her heartbeat slowly calmed down again. 

She should’ve known he wouldn’t hate her for it. She should’ve known that his reaction would be positive - maybe with a little laughter but still; he wouldn’t deny her wishes no matter how odd they were.

Kai turned the TV back on, and they continued watching all cuddled up on the couch. Y/N could hear his heartbeat which seemed to be slightly different than before. 

“But are you really sure you want me to be your first?” He broached the subject again after a while of silence. As an answer, he just got a nod as Y/N was slowly drifting off into the land of dreams. 

The next morning Y/N found herself laying in bed on soft pillows, covered with a cozy blanket. It took her a moment to realize that Kai must’ve brought her there after she fell asleep on the couch. So now she turned around, hoping she’d find him next to her. But he was gone.

Quickly she got up, still wearing the same clothes she had yesterday. She changed into one of Kai’s shirts - he wouldn’t have anything against it, would he? Only then she walked out of the bedroom, directly heading towards the kitchen where he’d most likely be.

The nearer she got, the stronger the smell of bacon and pancakes became. A smile spread across her face; Kai was preparing breakfast. Trying to be as quiet as possible she sneaked up to him and hugged him from behind. The realization that he’d be the one taking her virginity had bonded them even closer than before.

"No, you’re destroying my whole plan. I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed.” Kai pouted as he turned around. Nevertheless, there still was this mischievous spark in his eyes she loved so much. “By the way, nice shirt.”

Shyly she tugged on its hem. It was barely hiding anything, reaching only to the middle of her thighs. She sat down as Kai placed different plates filled with pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs and other things in front of her, taking the seat across from her. They talked and laughed while eating, enjoying it to the fullest. 

Thus far it definitely was one of the best days of Y/N’s life. Kai hadn’t just made a plan to make her breakfast; he had planned the whole day with a visit to a beautiful lake, dinner in her favorite restaurant and little surprises now and then. He wanted to make it unforgettable, maybe even prepare her a bit for what was about to come. He had revealed to her that he had planned to do it today - of course, again asking if that’s what she really wanted - and now, as the sun was slowly setting both became more nervous.

Currently, they were snuggled up on a bench in the garden of Y/N’s house. Kai had put an arm around her, caressing her arm in slow motions while Y/N had placed her head on his shoulder, tracing invisible patterns on his thigh. When the sun reached its lowest point, and the sky was shining in different shades of red and orange hues, Y/N raised her head. Kai brushed his hand against her cheeks, turning towards her so that his blue eyes were piercing into hers. 

“Are you still sure that this is what you want?” He asked warily. 

Getting a nod as an answer, he gave her a small smile, his eyes now darting between hers and her lips. Y/N’s heart was beating fast as he leaned in towards her, their lips nearly touching. Feeling his hot breath on her skin, she hooked her arms around his neck before he finally, felt his lips on hers. Closing her eyes, she deepened the kiss, butterflies endlessly flying around in her stomach. Never would she have thought it would feel this good to kiss him, but it did. It seemed like their lips were made for each other, a perfect fit. 

Kai began to rub one hand up and down her back, going lower each time until he slipped under her shirt, stroking her bare skin. He pulled her even closer not breaking the kiss. Only when they needed to breathe air, they pulled away, longingly staring at each other. A mischievous grin on his face he scooped her up and walked towards her bedroom. 

On their way, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before he carefully let her down on her bed. He lay on top of her as they continued where they left off. The kisses were getting more lust-filled and demanding with each passing second in which Kai’s hands slowly trailed down her body, touching every square inch of her body.

As his fingers reached the waistband of her jeans, he began sucking on her neck, leaving little hickeys. Agonizingly slow he pushed his hand inside her panties, looking up to examine her expression. He put his index finger on her clit, starting to draw small circles. This caused her to bit her lower lip, trying to muffle any sounds she could possibly make. Kai realized it and stopped for a second to give her a quick kiss.

“You don’t have to hold back.” 

Quiet, soft moans were escaping her mouth as both felt the wetness building between her legs. A little smile spread across Kai’s lips, and he started to collect her arousal before he brought his finger closer to her entrance, slowly pushing it in. When it was completely inside, he stopped his movements, giving her the time to get used to the new feeling. 

His face hovered only inches from hers; their eyes were locked. He leaned down towards her, placing his lips on hers again. Carefully he began to move his finger, adding another and curling them around, pushing them in and out. Y/N opened her lips in another moan, giving Kai the perfect opportunity to use his tongue. 

What felt strange at first became more and more enjoyable with every passing second. Y/N never thought it would feel this good to be intimate with her best friend, but it did. She liked what he was doing to her, making her writhe underneath him, bringing her closer to her release. Feeling a knot building in her stomach, she knew she was about to come…

…when Kai suddenly stopped. A growl left her as he pulled his finger out of her and brought it to his mouth to lick it clean. He chuckled a bit at her puzzled and unsatisfied expression.

“I know something that will feel even better.” He breathed in a seductive voice, biting her earlobe and sliding his hands under her top, roaming her upper body. Cupping her breasts, he massaged them through the bra, brushing his thumbs over her nipples which were getting harder under his touch. Again she began to let out soft moans, so quickly he pulled her shirt over her head and unhooked her bra, giving him a full view of her bare front. 

“Beautiful.” He mumbled, inaudible for her ears. Leaving sloppy, wet kisses all over he trailed down towards her bottom, taking off her jeans alongside her panties in one swift motion. 

A little bit embarrassed Y/N put her hands down, trying to cover up her most intimate part. She felt the heat rising in her cheeks like she had just realized who was there in front of her.  

“You have still doubts about it, don’t you?” Kai asked, a sad expression on his face. Nevertheless, he stopped at everything he was doing and gave her the time to think about an answer.  

“I do.” She replied as she hooked her arms around his neck, locking eyes with him. “But I want to do it. Right here, right now. With you.” At the last words, she pulled him down to her, kissing him as passionately and deeply as possible. 

Breaking the kiss, he crawled down, so his head was between her legs. Parting them, he licked a bold stripe across her middle making her shiver. 

“You taste amazing.” He let her know, as she intertwined his fingers with his hair, pulling him closer towards her core. He chuckled at her reaction, sending vibrations through her body which were only adding to the sensation he was making her feel. 

Kai enveloped her clit with his lips, sucking and nibbling at it. Looking up from time to time he saw she had closed her eyes, her mouth hung open, and she let out moans which were getting louder and louder.

“Fuck, Kai. Don’t stop!” She groaned, gripping his hair tighter and trying to press him even closer towards her. Grinning, he pushed two fingers back inside her wet heat, thrusting in and out at a faster getting pace. He felt her walls clench around him, knowing he was bringing her nearer to her desiderated release. Indeed, with one last deep thrust, he brought her over the edge, making her arch her back and letting out a little scream. 

Only when she had calmed down a bit, a pulled his fingers out and licked them clean again. She was still breathing heavily, and her heart was beating uneven. 

“Told you I know something that will feel ever better.” He had laughed before he pressed her lips on his. Meanwhile, her hands were working on the zipper of his jeans, innocently brushing against his already semi-hard erection. 

Kai pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his toned torso. Not soon after, his jeans followed together with his briefs. Y/N gulped at the sight of his length, asking herself how it was supposed to fit inside of her. He was giving her a questioning look, but she just nodded in approval. She was ready now. 

Stroking himself a few times, Y/N watched how he seemed to get even bigger and fear mixed with excitement was taking over her. He then aligned himself at her entrance, rubbing her clit shortly with just the tip of his member. 


“Do it.” She begged, partly because she finally wanted to get over with it and partly because she finally wanted to know how it would feel.

And with one quick thrust, he moved all the way in, stretching her out to the fullest.

“Fuck are you tight.” Kai growled while Y/N let out a pained sound as by now it was only pain she felt because of the strange feeling. Kai gave her time to adjust to him and his size, gently wiping away a tear that was rolling down her cheek. 

“Are you ok?” He asked, honest-meant concern in his voice. One hand stayed on her cheek, slowly caressing it with his thumb, as the other trailed down between their bodies, beginning to draw figure eights on her clit. 

Instead of answering his question, she told him to move, and so he did. Gradually at first, he pushed in hard and profound. Quickly Y/N’s pain was replaced by pleasure, soft moans escaping her lips as she dug her nails into Kai’s biceps. 

His thrusts became faster, and he let out low growls too now. Their breathing got shallow since he was bringing them both closer towards their release. Y/N clenched her walls around him, making it seem even tighter than it already was. By now she was glad she had asked Kai to do it and not anyone else since to him her pleasure was his priority. 

“Kai, I’m coming.” She moaned, the knot in her stomach was hardening, and she felt the wave of her second orgasm of the day wash over her. This brought Kai over the edge, too, and he came in hot spurts inside of her. 

Collapsing on top of her they both took a moment to recover before he pulled out of her and lay down next to her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her towards him so her head could rest on his chest which was moving up and down. She listened to his uneven heartbeat and closed her eyes. 

“Thank you.” She said out of the blue while he rubbed one hand across her back. “Though in retrospection it was kinda awkward it was also great. I’m glad I asked you.” 

Kai chuckled, and his breath got stuck in his throat as she looked up to him, a different spark in her eyes than every other time before. A small smile was spread across her lips, confirming him in what he had already known before. But now it had become even clearer to him.

“There may be something I should’ve told you before we hooked up.” He began, trying to find the right words. Before he continued, he took a deep breath, regaining his courage. “I love you, Y/N. I think I was already in love with you from the moment I first saw you at Whitmore. And I know this will probably destroy our friendship, but I don’t care, I just want you to know it.” 

Y/N’s heart started to beat faster, realizing something that truly should’ve come clear before. 

“I guess our friendship was destroyed since the moment I asked you to take my virginity.” She let out a little laugh at Kai’s shocked expression and propped herself up so she could see his face. Placing both hands on his cheeks, she continued, “But the reason I actually asked you was because deep down I knew that I am in love with you. I love you, too, Kai.”

She pressed his lips on his again like they had done so many times today. Though it felt different this time. It wasn’t filled with lust, but with love and felt like the first proper kiss they exchanged. They both didn’t want to let go of the other as they had finally found out their missing half had been right by their side for a long time now. 

Media Naranja

Originally posted by beautiful-nature-gifs

media naranja (n.) one’s better half; a partner, a spouse, or a soulmate; lit. “half of an orange”

Everything about life certifiably sucked ass, at least in Connor Murphy’s opinion.

His family never understood him, his social standing at school was beyond pitiful, and his love life, laughable.

You’d think as someone who was about to be a senior would have more to say for himself rather than a nobody who didn’t have a single friend and spent most of his time in a bitter state of self-hatred to make up for his lack of control over himself.

Not mention almost everyone thought he was absolutely insane, and sure he’ll admit he as a bit of a temper.

And sure maybe he could try a little harder to be nicer to everyone around him.

But that’s not the point here.

No, No, as far as Connor Murphy was concerned he didn’t care about a single thing that was happening in his life. He was simply a passenger on a ride he couldn’t seem to get off of.

As far as his family was concerned though, he was just some misfit who spent majority of his time getting high in the back of the woods and spent far too much of his time alone.

“I’m sure if you tried, you’d make lots of friends, sweetie.” His mother said to him one morning at the breakfast table as she refilled her coffee mug.

Connor couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “I’ll make friends when I make them, stop worrying about it.”

Zoe pushed her cereal around her bowl. “Nobody wants to be friends with someone who’s so pessimistic all the time.”

“Nobody asked you, smartass.” Connor said sharply, before pushing himself away from the table and getting up to leave.

“Where are you going?” His mom asked quickly as she side-scolded her daughter.


“Well when will you be home?”

“Don’t know, when I feel like it.” He answered, shoving on his coat.

“Connor!” His mother called, but it fell upon deaf ears as the front door slammed shut.

There were only a few places Connor took solace in, and it was usually on the outskirts of town where nobody else went to, more often then not they were secluded areas or abandoned lots where he was absolutely certain no one would be.

Today was no different, he was playing music loudly through his headphones as he walked the usual path to one of his favorite hideaways.

It was close to where he lived, but beyond the nice houses and lavish gardens was an scenic spot of land. What was once a small graveyard was turned into an open sitting area tucked away in a small grove of trees. The only evidence that it was there was a simple walking path that went along the back end.

The summer was coming to a close, the trees were stripped of their green hue and replaced with shades of crimson and gold. And sitting in the center of it all was a tall bronze water fountain with a statue of an angel purched at the top, one of it’s hands held outward as it reached for the sky.

Connor wasn’t a religious kind of person, but looking at it always gave him an odd sense of serenity and it helped him think. The quiet also did wonders to help with all the thoughts zooming around his head.

He made the usual turn, expecting to be greeted with the usual empty sitting area, with the only the rustling of the leaves to keep him company.

So imagine his surprise when instead, he sees you sitting at one of the wooden benches facing away from him, with what looked like a stack of books sitting beside you.

Connor pulled a face, wondering who the hell managed to find his secret hideaway. Maybe his sister found out where he went and decided to have one of her friends torment him.

He yanked his headphones out of his ears and shoved them in his coat pocket as he went around to the other side of the fountain, trying to get a better look at you. But your face was burried in the thick book you were reading so he couldn’t make out any of your features.

Deciding there was no other option, he stomped off the path, walking through the grass and making his way over to you.

He stopped a couple feet away, somewhat surprised the obnoxiously loud sound his boots made against the stone wasn’t enough to draw your attention.

“Hey!” Connor said, trying his hardest to look as pissed as possible, folding his arms tightly.

You didn’t say anything, you didn’t even move.

“Hey, I’m talking to you!” He said louder, moving closer.

He was silent for a few seconds, debating if he should go as far as to snatch the book out of your hands and make you listen to him.

Just then, your eyes flickered up to his and then down again, but noticing someone before you, you raised your head, trying to decipher if you recognized him.

“Listen dumbass, what are you-” Connor cut himself off whenever he got a full look at you.

You were pretty.

Like really pretty.

Like ‘hot damn where have you been all my life’ pretty.

Connor just stared for a minute, honestly taken back a little. He even felt his face get warm.

You took out your headphones and turned to him. “I’m sorry were you saying something?”

Oh wow, your voice was nice too.

But nevermind that, remembering that he was supposed to be angry he scoffed. “Oh, so she does speak.”

You blinked languidly, wondering how you got in this situation. “I’m sorry?”

“Did my sister put you up to this?” Connor asked, slowly but surely getting more angry by the minute. “That’s what’s happening here, my darling little sister had you come up and invade my space just to piss me off, didn’t she.”

Now you were annoyed too. “Excuse me?” You asked, setting your book aside. “Invading your space, if i remember, you were the one who interrupted me.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” Connor asked as he tried to keep his temper in check.

“I was sitting here reading by myself, I wasn’t interrupting anyone,” You said as you made a show of opening your book again. “Besides, even if I did have the misfortune of knowing your sister, I certainly wouldn’t take the time to bother someone as miserable as you.”

That was it.

Connor was practically spitting steam out of his ears.

“Yeah? Well I certainly shouldn’t be wasting my time talking to a bitch like you, but hear I am!” He was raising his voice now, the birds that had gathered around the fountain all flew away.

You were looking wide-eyed at him now, a bit surprised by the sudden increase in his volume.

“Huh, you suddenly have a lot less to say now, don’t you!”

“Why are you so angry?!” You yelled back as you stood from the bench, beginning to grow tired of his unwarranted attitude.

That was what snapped him out of it.

Connor’s face fell and he looked at you curiously. “What?” He asked, now becoming quiet.

“Why are you so angry! It’s not like I did anything to you. You don’t even know who I am and you’re going off on me!”

Why are you so angry?

It was a question Connor asked himself all the time, a question his sister once cried at him while he was in the midst of one of his fits of rage.

“I-I’m sorry.” He said, grasping onto the shoulder strap of his bag tightly with his hands, trying to make himself as small as possible.

Now was your turn to be quiet, was this guy bipolar or something?

Still, there was something about the look on his face that made you forget about being angry.

“Well,” You started before shoving your hands into the pockets of your cardigan. “Thank you for apologizing.”

Connor’s hand went to the back of his neck, scratching his head as he flushed in embarrassment.

It was quiet, Connor almost forgot you were there for a moment until your voice brought back into the moment.

“What’s your name?”

Connor frowned. “Why do you wanna know?”

You quickly held your hands up. “Nothing, I just wanna introduce myself to you.”

“Fine, you can go first then.”

You gave him a look before shaking your head. “(Y/n). My name’s (Y/n).”

He nodded, taking note to remember that you weren’t one of Zoe’s freinds. “Um, well mine’s Connor Murphy.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Connor Murphy.” You said, now standing in front of him as you hold out your hand.

He looked at it for a moment, giving it a look.

“You shake it.”

“I know what a handshake is.” He said sternly before yanking your hand and shaking it.

You quickly took your hand back, laughing a little as you rubbed your wrist. “Then maybe next time you won’t have to pull so hard.”

Connor looked scandalized for a moment. “What d'you mean next time, are we meeting again?”

You noticed his expression and quickly reverted. “Well I mean if you don’t wanna meet me again, I can find somewhere else to read and-”

“No!” Connor said, much too loud and too urgently for his liking.

He cleared his throat and crossed his arms. “I mean I don’t really care if you come back or not,” He said trying his hardest not to look at your face. “I’m just saying it might be nice to have someone who doesn’t totally annoy me hanging around.”

You nodded, deciding it was his special, long winded way of telling you you could hang around him here.

“Well okay then.” You told him, glad the tense atmosphere had disappeared.

“Do you come here often?” Connor asked before his brain stopped him. “Uh…no, i didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did,” He said, his eyes locking with yours as his mouth hung open while he tried to cover for himself. “You know what, nevermind.”

“Yes,” You answered, “I come here a couple times a week if I’m not busy.”

“Cool, cool,” Connor said as he kicked the ground, arms now limp. “So…I’ll see you around then?”

You nodded. “See you around, Connor Murphy.”

His mouth flickered up in the slightest hint of a smile before he turned around on his heel to walk away from you. When he reached the beginning of the tree grove he turned around, wanting to see if you were still there.

Then he realized he just awkwardly made eye-contact with you again before quickly turning around and zooming away to his house.

A/n: aaaAAAAA i did it, i wrote for DEH and i was internally crying the whole time. I actually really love Connor’s character so writing this was super fun, but I’m still new to the musical so i’m sorry for any character inconsistencies.

I’m halfway through a bootleg of the thing but from what I’ve seen Connor is the sort of character who’s real insecure and actually a decent person, but when he’s angry it just all goes out the window. (lots of prince adam vibes, eh?)

Part 2:
The phantom thieves children

This was really fun to write! If you guys want me to write this for the p4 gang or for the rest of the p5 crew then let me know!

•everyone sees him as the quiet good child, he’s polite to adults, kind to the younger kids and generally gets along with his class.
•but he’s far from good. All those ‘pranks’ that happened that no one found out who did them… akira was behind all of it
•who let the class frog out from its cage in the middle of the night? Akira.
•who put super glue on the class bullies chair? Akira
•no one knows it’s him though, seriously not a single person assumed the quiet studious Akira would be the type of person to play pranks like this
•Akira is a sneaky little asshole even at a young age
•Akira also did gymnastics as a kid (I mean seriously have you seen him in palaces? He did gymnastics at some point) he only stoped after he got bored with it
•he would play outside a lot but he wouldn’t get dirty, he usually climbed up trees and read on the highest branch he could climb to
•he wouldn’t show up back home covered in dirty and mud, mostly because he likes to stay clean himself
•his reading level was way above most his age due the fact he reads so much
•he read mostly chapter books. He loved detective novels and stories about thieves
•he has a clean room, the only things that may get a bit cluttered is his bookshelf and desk
•he’s a pretty independent child so he cleans his own room
•over all he’s also a very good student, top marks in almost every class except geography, for some reason I think he’d find that subject a little harder than most

•he’s that loud asshole kid in the back of the class who interrupts every single class
•he gets along with most people, I think before the whole track team thing Ryuji would be pretty popular. He’d be the class clown. Always able to make people laugh
•of corse he wouldn’t do too well in his studies, Ryuji would be terrible in maths and English.
•he’d be that one child who yell in the middle of class that he didn’t understand what he was doing
•while he lacks academic ability he’ll do great in anything physical.
•First in cross country every year, breaking a number of records in athletics and he’ll be that one kid entering in every race at swimming sports (is that a thing outside of New Zealand?)
•he’d play outside a lot as a kid, always getting dirty and making a mess
•his mother always got mad as hell when she saw the mud Ryuji dragged in after she had just cleaned the floors
•his room is a mess 24/7
•bed half made, clothes littered the ground, copies of Naruto and Bleach covering his over due homework
•his mother tried to clean his room but she’s given up
•it just turns into a mess again after a week
•the first time he swore was when he was eight
•he said shit after falling out of a tree and broke his arm
•his mother was not impressed at all
•speaking of broken bones, Ryuji broke a lot of arms as a kid. Just from play a bit to rough
•over all Ryuji is that loud, active child that seems to be in every class. He’s a ball of hyperactive energy to say the least.

•Ann has been the source of rumours since a child, I mean here’s a blonde haired, blue eye child who is pretty confident.
•as a child her Japanese wasn’t the best, she could make conversation but she didn’t get a few of the jokes or word play
•that being said she made friends pretty easily, she was easy to get along with and pretty funny
•she wasn’t that much of an outside kid,
•she wouldn’t climb trees or anything but she would sit out in the grass and talk with her friends
•or make flower crowns. Ann made a lot of flower crowns in her childhood, to the point where her parents begged her to stop because she was pulling all the flowers out of the garden
•she was average at school. Social studies and English were her best subject
•but she struggled with complicated maths and Japanese grammar
•her room was always clean.
•bed made, desk organised, books in alphabetical order all that
•pink, as a child she had a lot of pink.
•pink tutu, pink hair scrunchies, pink stationary PINK EVERYWHERE
•in class Ann is pretty quiet, she doesn’t take a lot of detailed notes but she does take them
•she loves cats, she actually had one as a child
•it was a white fluffy one with bright blue eyes
•you better believe it wore a pink ribbon for a collar
•the cat was called Gum Drop
•she does draw a lot in her note book though, mostly flowers, love hearts and cute little animals
•over all she’s the definition of the cute girly girl child

•quiet child, he barely ever speaks to anyone his age
•seriously most of the people in his class don’t know what his voice sounds like
•he’ll just sit in the front of the class and do his work quietly
•or during break he’ll just find a tree and draw in his art pad
•most of the children think he’s pretty weird and ovoid him most of the time anyway
•yusuke is pretty close to some of Madarame other students
•In fact there was a girl a few years older than him (14 or 15) who he sees as a big sister
•they spent a lot of time together, she would give him some tips with his charcoal drawing and Yusuke would help her with water colour
•of corse that didn’t last forever as the girl he saw as family soon left Madarame never to be seen again
•yusuke was heartbroken, he didn’t understand why she would leave him like that without a word
•of corse when he found out the truth about Madarame when he was older he understood but before that he grew to resent the girl for abandoning him
•yusuke is an adverse student as a kid
•average grades in everything except art and Japanese literature where they’ll obviously be higher
•very clean bedroom, but that’s mostly because he hardly spends any time in there
•he’s always in his work space painting
•it’s that art room that shows how much of a slob he can be
•there’s wet and dry paint everywhere! Paint brushes laying on every flat surface and canvases leaning against the wall
•over all as a child Yusuke wasn’t much different to the way he his now, he’s a little bit more closed off but he’s still that same weird art kid as he is in the main game

•Makoto was a happy go lucky kid, always smiling and laughing
•she was a real daddies girl, she always looked up to and admired her father
•some of her best memories where when her dad took her and Sae to work with him for the day
•in class she was still the straight A student, getting perfect grades in all her classes and all the teachers liking her
•she got along with kids her age well, and had a handful of very close friends but she still had times where she felt lonely or left out
•this is mostly because she was more mature than those around her
•she was totally the mum friend when at a young age
•she played outside a lot but she rarely got messy
•the worst that would happen would be grass stains on her socks from running in the park
•rather than climbing trees or playing on the play ground she stuck to riding her bike around the neighbourhood
•she was actually a huge girly girl as a kid
•she had dolls and Teddie bears
•Makoto wore dresses and ballet flats often, there’s countless photos of her dressed like this in the family album
•her room is spotless
•seriously all her toys are ordered and standing straight, her bookcase is in alphabetical order according to the books author
•she’s a very organised child
•she loves stationary
•seriously she has like twenty unused notebooks
•thirty pens that she refuses to use because there 'too pretty to use’
•over all she’s the good and studious child, the definition of the angel child

•She is so loud, oh my god
•seriously she’s the kind of girl that runs to every destination, and her lowest volume was a whisper shout
•she always watched Saturday morning cartoons religiously
•As a child Futaba had some really close friends
•they were all as loud and energetic as she was
•she got pretty good grades
•she was terrible at English and Japanese… her grammar was terrible
•but she was good at the rest, especially maths. She was damn good at maths
•she was more of an indoor child
•she would go outside but it was mostly when her mother forced her to go outside
•she would just walk around the neighbourhood and play with the neighbours dog
•really she was just annoying the poor animal until the neighbour kicked her out of their yard
•room is a mess 24/7
•doesn’t matter how many times she tries to clean it it just stays a constant mess
•she stays in shorts and a graphic tee shirt
•no one has ever seen her in a dress
•ever, and no one will if she has a choice
•Futaba’s mum would always find the time to do her hair when she was a child
•she would show up to school with buns, braids, ponytails and everything in between
•Futaba still missed when her mum played and styled her hair
•Futaba didn’t get her glasses till she was 9. She refused to admit she was blind
•so she spend a few years running into walls, tripping over stairs and shoving books right in front of her face to read the text
•she hated her glasses at first, it took her mother to start wearing her constantly for Futaba to start wearing them
•over all Futaba is a loud, hyper child. She all over the place and can’t sit still for more than five minutes but she’s a good child who loved her mother dearly

•Haru was one of the most polite children you’ve ever meet
•she has perfect manners, perfect communication skills, perfect everything really
•she was raised to be a proper young lady so she didn’t have that much of a childhood
•sure she had dolls and fairy tales but she was never allowed to climb trees or play tag
•she was not allowed to get messy.
•seriously when she was outside of she brought a single speck of dirt into the house trouble would arise
•Haru still had a love for flowers and the garden as a young child
•she would read books about flowers, examining the meaning behind each plant
•every year for her birthday her father would gift her with flowers
•he would add a flower to the bouquet for each year (eg she got 6 roses when she turned 6 and so on)
•she was a good student
•she had private tutors for any of the subjects she struggled so her grades were never lower than a A
•Haru loved fairy tales as a kid
•she love the story of Cinderella and Snow White, she would read them almost daily
•when she was around 8 or 9 she started to read Alice in Wonderland and fall in love with the story
•she still reads the book today
•she was very girly
•dresses and skirts were the only things she would wear
•her hair was also a fuzzy mess
•seriously, in the mornings her hair is sticking up everywhere
•she wears a lot of ribbons and hair bands as a kid
•she’s a very clean child
•the messiest place in Haru’s room is her wardrobe
•Haru had two close friends as a child
•they were both neighbours of hers and they spent hours together on the daily
•over all Haru was one of the most polite children you’ll ever meet. She’s almost any parents dream child.

modern witch! woozi au

• works with sigils and tea magick
• all the sigils that he designs are either about protection or for his friends or about music
• “can you draw me a sigil i have an exam next week” “that’s not how magic works you still need to study but ok”
• also likes to read tarot cards / divination in general
• except,,, seungcheol banned him from doing it in front of seventeen
• he did it for wonwoo, non-believer wonwoo realized the tarot cards were scarily accurate and he went into an existential crisis questioning everything he’s ever believed in
• seungcheol heard about it and banned jihoon from divinations
• best friend soonyoung still asks for them though
• likes letting jihoon know that he has someone who believes he’s not weird for all of this
• soonyoung may not believe in witchcraft but if it makes jihoon happy it’s all good
• has a GARDEN on his little balcony, and there are so many plants !!
• literally so calming to be in his house in general
• all of svt accepts the whole “i practice witchcraft” thing, just with varying degrees
• some don’t agree with it, but they’re not going to stop him
• “i practice witchcraft i’m scary” “you literally refuse to curse people and you talk to your plants lee jihoon what u tryna play”
• did i mention he talks to his plants because he does
• spends his free afternoons in his balcony garden songwriting and talking to the plants
• so how do you meet this soft boy?
• you’re moving into the apartment next to him
• and you meet him when you’re in the lift
• he’s on the phone and swearing super fiercely at the other person
• you’re like,, “wow this dude,, is kinda scary,,”
• that my friend, is lee jihoon swearing at kim mingyu over the phone because he broke a flower pot yesterday and tried to cover it up, but you don’t know it yet
• essentially you’re mildly scared of him because it feels like if you do something wrong he’ll rip your head off
• but,,, he gets off at the same floor as you,,, and you’re pRAYING,,,,,,,, but OH GOD HE’S YOUR NEIGHBOR
• you’re dead inside.
• after you finish moving all your boxes, you step out into the balcony to take a look at the view
• kind of maybe 90% of why you bought this flat but not the point
• and you turn and remember
• that balcony full of plants and flowers that you saw when looking at this flat,,, it belongs to the scary dude????
• you kind of want to laugh, because that DOES NOT MATCH HIS IMAGE
• and then you hear it again
• him swearing as he sweeps up fragments of a flowerpot “kim mingyu… the next time i see you i will KILL you…”
• that’s… kinda cute.
• but you’re not going to admit that instead you are going to go and actually settle in
• you set up bean bags on the balcony and like a lounge table to that you can read outside when you want to
• you don’t have classes the next day, so you try and get some reading (of your textbooks which you procrastinated) done
• so you sit down outside and read… and you end up drifting off
• when you wake up, you hear someone singing sweetly??
• it’s that garden dude !!!! singing !!!! like an angel !!!!
• your heart can barely take it he’s SINGING TO HIS PLANTS
• or maybe he’s composing outdoors but that sounds way less cute
• and oK maaaaaaybe you’re a little bit more than interested in him and you want to get to know him better
• universe has that covered hon
• the next week, you come back after school to him sitting outside his door, reading
• “are you okay?” “i locked myself out, but my friend should be over any time soon with the spare key i’ll be ok” “… do you want to come in?” “… kind of.”
• he’s very cute ,,, when you ask about his garden (bc let’s face it it is THRIVING) he gets all blushy and shy but he starts rambling about the symbolism of each plant and its uses
• it’s almost like talking to an old friend, and he’s basking in the sunlight like a cat and he’s SO CUTE
• of course all good things come to an end, and the boy, jihoon, has to go
• his friend is knocking on your door and asking if jihoon is in, and he goes back to his own apartment
• not without giving u his number, though ;-)
• outside: “is that the cute girl you-” “shut up, soonyoung”
• you two text a lot !! and he brings you food he’s cooked sometimes !!
• you study together because you’re both dying college students too, but it’s more you two chatting tbh
• and slowly… you fall more and more for him
• his smiles, his small quirks, his cuTENESS
• you like him so much,,, it scares you. you’ve never liked someone this much before.
• one day, you’re over at jihoon’s when soonyoung barges in using the spare key
• “the spare key is for emergencies, kwon.” “i know, this is an emergency!! i need a sigil for a smooth date!!!!!” “that’s- that’s not how sigils work…” “PLEASE” “ok”
• you’re like huh?? you’ve seen sigils in jihoon’s notebook before, but he didn’t explain them to you and you didn’t ask more
• you’re watching as jihoon flips through the notebook for it, and he stops at a page with some design and the words “my date will go smoothly”
• “i should curse you some day” “you wouldn’t, you hate curses.”
• you feel like you should ask about what’s a sigil, but you also don’t want to distract jihoon as he draws it on soonyoung’s wrist
• when you ask him, soonyoung actually explains it for him
• “it’s like, magical symbols or something. you channel your intent into energy, and then you draw it onto whatever, and then charge it. he’s charging it right now with his body heat. cool, right? wonwoo says it’s the placebo effect, but whether it’s that or actually witchcraft, it does still help me feel protected in a sense.”
• “wait… witchcraft??”
• “kwon, you’re a blabbermouth, do you know that? i haven’t told them outright yet.” “but they’ve seen your grimoire!! even i haven’t!!!” “yes, but that’s because they accidentally found it.”
• you’re so… confused.
• “so the sun tea was like… witchcraft too?” “yeah, i thought you knew?? to be honest, the moment i talked to you about sigils, i thought it’d be obvious.” “i just thought of them as quirks!”
• he’s blushing very hard, and you can see that he’s quite stressed
• “y/n, can we talk about this outside?”
• soonyoung drags you to his balcony, and forces you to listen to him
• “look, jihoonie’s very self conscious about being a witch. don’t blame him for not telling you straight; it took him two years to tell me, and i’m his best friend! don’t shun him for this. he’s the exact same jihoon as the one you knew before. he only uses magic for protection and blessings, ok?”
• “would he… would he have cast a spell on me to like him?” “are we even talking about the same jihoon here?? the last time i told him to try that i got slapped in the face so hard, it left a mark for a whole day. he thinks it’s a disgusting misuse- WAIT YOU LIKE HIM”
• that, my friend, was the day that you found out that jihoon’s a witch, and also the day kwon soonyoung made it his life mission to get you and jihoon together, because his best friend and “baby sister” deserve to be happy together
• aka the day kwon soonyoung decided to unleash all hell on your peaceful life
• “jihoon, y/n likes you btw” “how… how do you know” “they think you casted a spell on them to make them fall for you-” “WAIT WHAT”
• jihoon taking almost months to get the courage to ask you out (after soonyoung’s constant “persuading”)
• when he does you both are lounging in his garden, and you’re dozing off as he plays his guitar
• and you look so pretty and content,,,, it’s then it strikes him that he doesn’t want to let you go, that he wants to date you and make you happy
• when you hear it, you’re all “is this a dream??” and you’re so shocked but jihoon is nervous and your heart is melting
• “yes, i will go out with you.”
• his face just LIGHTS UP and he’s so happy that you accepted
• dating him inclues letting him doodle sigils all over u
• you knew this from being friends,, but dating him,, he’s never not clinging on to you
• if you’re shorter, he likes to drape himself over you or give you back hugs and bury his head in the crook of your neck
• if you’re taller, he likes slinging an arm around you and pouting at you to get kisses, and wrapping his arms around your waist
• also SO SHY about the fact that he likes kisses and physical contact, will only do it when the other boys aren’t around (except cheol, joshua, wonwoo and soonyoung)
• also baking and gardening with him just so that you can spend time with him
• he takes very long before he tells you the first i love you, because he keeps waiting for the perfect moment to say it
• but in the end, he ends up mumbling it to you when he thinks you’re not listening
• “you what~?” “y/n please…” “i think i didn’t hear it right the first time, you love me?” “y-yeah, i love you”
• he’s so easily flustered by you it’s fun to tease him
• but he will always,,, always get back (you learnt that the hard way)
• you pranking him and him always getting back !!!!!!
• swap the label of his planters? he’ll swap the contents/labels of your files. change the salt to sugar? he’ll bake you strawberry cupcakes with salt instead of sugar.
• spooning at night !!!!!!!!!!
• all the boys telling you to take good care of jihoon for them, because he tends to neglect his health whenever he’s too focused on things, and has to be reminded to eat etc
• and you’re like “i already know i already check on him to make sure he’s been eating and i force him to sleep -” “JIHOONIE LISTENS TO HER AND NOT US ??”
• with the seventeen boys, it feels like a big happy family

Edmund x Reader: A Queen from Earth

Anonymous said: So… I have a request. For an Edmund x reader. Where there’s this girl who is a really big fan of Narnia. And every single day she goes up to her parent’s spare room and walks into the wardrobe to see if it’ll take her to Narnia. One day it actually does. She meets Edmund and the other Pevensies while they’re all kings and queens. The girl and Edmund fall in love. They confess their feelings for eachother. (Maybe even kiss. :3) And one day she goes back to England with Edmund. Please do this.:3

~This fanfic is a collab with Danielle from @itsalwaysnarnia! She and I worked on this for two nights, and we stayed up until 2 AM making the finishing touches (dedication!). Please go over to her blog and send her some love, she is really such an amazing writer- and human being. We had so much fun doing this together! Expect more collab writing from us ;) ~

There it stood. Tall and lean. The age old wardrobe that was kept in the spare room-hidden behind curtains and stray books-stood before you. 

You had been up here countless times. It had become almost routine.

 Every weekend evening, when all the lights had gone out and everyone was asleep, you would venture up the stairs. You had convinced yourself a long time ago that the only reason you still climbed inside the old wardrobe was to check for spiders, although that was far from the truth. Careful to avoid the creaking step at the top of the staircase, you would walk with a flashlight in your hand and a hope of finding Narnia in your mind.

 Yes, you knew you would never actually find the magical land. Narnia was just a story; a fictional story that was never and would never become a reality.

But you still had hope

You took a small step forward, letting your socks slide across the wooden floor.

The wardrobe looked typically the same, but something felt…different. Something lured you inside and you couldn’t stop yourself.

A certain aura was emitting from the wardrobe, one incomparable to any other, and the soft tingling of bells seemed to be coming from inside. You stepped closer. The sound of bells rang louder now.

 You recognized the sound, not from anything in our world per say, but from a distant dream or memory. You dropped the flashlight. 

A sudden wind current brushed your cheeks and your breath hitched your throat. You brought your fingers forward and swallowed the lump in your throat. You felt before you saw. Something pricked your finger. You retracted your hand but still unconsciously walked forward. 

An unexpected gleam of light hit your eyes and you squinted, your feet hitting a new ground. You picked up your flashlight, moving aside a coat to see inside. 

You were in a forest. 

You were in Narnia.

There it was. Magical, impossible, unbelievable Narnia. 

You dropped your flashlight again, staring in awe at the magnificent forest. 

It couldn’t be.

As you stooped to pick it up, the door to the wardrobe slammed behind you, thrusting you forward into the autumn leaves of the Narnian woods.

 Before you had the chance to think another thought, something spliced passed your face and landed just a few inches from your head. You screamed and your body froze in fear. 

“Ed, you bloody missed!” 

You looked to your right and saw an arrow wedged into the tree next to you. 

“Well it’s a good thing I did, because I don’t think that was a deer.”

Your attention averted towards the voices in front of you. Four beings, residing on horses, made their way into the clearing. You tilted your head. “King Peter?”

Peter narrowed his eyes. “You aren’t from around here are you?”

A laugh escaped your lips. “I guess you could say that. Did my clothes give me away?”

“More the look on your face when we saw you.” 

The boy with dark hair, that you knew to be Edmund, smirked. “I’ve seen that expression on Peter and Susan’s face when they first entered Narnia.”

“Or maybe you almost shot me in the head.” You teased, smirking back at the handsome king. Edmund grinned. “That too.” 

Peter frowned slightly. “Where are you from anyway? Not…not Calormene or Archenland?” He eyed your star wars T-shirt.

 “I’m, uh-” You paused. What were you supposed to tell them? ‘Oh, I’m from the future. No, not the Narnian future, but the Earth future. I’ve read all the books about you four, and Edmund, I’m dying to marry you’? You couldn’t say all that.

“I’m from a…distant land. Not anywhere around here.” 

“How did you know his name, then?” Susan finally spoke up, emerging behind Peter on her horse and gesturing to him. 

“You called him ‘King Peter’. How do you know that?” 

You bit your lip, looking around at the three Pevensies. Three. Where was- 

“Su, I think I know what’s going on.” Lucy’s horse trotted along the dirt. She smiled at you, seeming to recognize something.

 “She’s from our world.” She said thoughtfully, jumping off her horse onto the ground. Peter’s eyes widened. He too dismounted his stead. “You’re from England?”

 You nodded slowly, processing what you were about to say in your mind. “I’ve read about you four. There are books, stories about your adventures.” 

Edmund and Susan looked at each other. “What-in England?”

 You nodded again, backing away slightly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. I-I need to get back.”


Edmund cleared his throat, blushing a little. “I mean-no, you can’t possibly leave without telling us of these…these books.” 

Lucy smirked, eyeing the two of you. You tugged at your shirt. “Um…alright.” There was silence. 

“My, where are our manners! We haven’t yet asked you of your name.” Lucy said kindly. 

 “Y/n.” You smiled back at her, turning to the others. “And I really don’t mean to be a burden on you all. I don’t expect you to-” 

“There will be a room provided for you in the castle.” Susan said assuringly, smiling for the first time. 

“Yes! And fresh clothing and sheets.” Lucy grinned, offering her arm. “Have you ever ridden on horseback?”

You frowned a little. “No.”

 Edmund smirked, remaining on his horse. “Lu, let her ride with me. I’m a better teacher for beginners.” You rolled your eyes, sensing his mockery.

 Lucy nodded. “I’ll help you mount your stead, earthling. Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that, I just kind of got into that ‘earthling’-y feeling, you know? oh, I’m sorry, I really-” 

“Lucy, it’s okay.” You said, laughing a little. You grabbed the sides of Edmund’s horse, hoisting yourself up.

 “Woah! Watch it.” 

You stared at the horse blankly. “Did it just talk?” You asked, horrified. Peter laughed, kicking the side of his horse. “You’re in Narnia. What did you expect?” 

His horse galloped off. Susan shot you a smile before quickly following after him, adjusting her quiver of arrows. 

“Well, come on then! I’ll meet you two at the castle. Ed, don’t wander off.” 

Lucy mounted her stead and went after the others. 

Edmund smirked at you. “You don’t want me to go too fast, do you?” 

You nervously gripped Edmund’s sides as you rode along with him on his horse, back to Cair Paravel. 

You supposed he was around your age, from what you had read and what you could see. And you also immediately noticed how nervous he made you. 

You barely uttered a word the whole ride. All you did was listen to the Pevensies’…um…colorful banter. 

As you rode, awkwardly clutching at Edmund, you took a look around the strange land. It all felt too whimsical, too unreal. You caught yourself barely blinking. 

Cair Paravel was no exclusion to the beauty you had seen so far. It stood so tall, so firm, so breath taking. 

As you neared the castle, guards swiftly made their way to the horses sides. One of the guards eyed you suspiciously. 

A warm laugh left Edmund’s lips. “We picked up a straggler. No need to worry yourself.” 

The guard nodded curtly and took the reins from Edmund’s hands. Edmund swung off his horse quite gracefully, but you knew you could not follow in the same manner. 

Thankfully Edmund, as the chivalrous young man he is, helped you down. His hands gripped your waist momentarily, forcing you to fight off a smile. Why did you have to fight off a smile?

Once all four siblings were off the horses, the guards guided them towards the stables. An inescapable breath left your lips as you admired Cair Paravel once more. It was exquisite. Yes, there had been pictures in the books you read, but no drawing was comparable to this. 

“You must be hungry. Dinner shall be served soon.” Peter stated, his eyes landing on you. “And I think it would be a lovely time for you to tell us how exactly you got here.”

“Well not until she is properly dressed.” Susan spoke up. She too glanced at you and smiled. “I have more than enough dresses to share.”  

You returned the smile gratefully, your cheeks feeling warm, and followed Lucy and Susan into the castle. You glanced back at Edmund. 

“See you at dinner.” He called, sending a wave. 

So much talking and laughter was exchanged at dinner; you didn’t think there was much left to say. 

Edmund, however, proved that otherwise.

After dinner ended, he insisted on showing you the gardens. Maybe a little sarcastically, but nevertheless, you followed him outside.

He had so much to say, many things to ask, and he was a perfectly good listener. He glided with such ease and he had such a strong aura about him. 

“…you wouldn’t believe it.” Edmund laughed. “Lucy honestly thought that I had broken my arm. I fooled her there. But then I ended up falling into a pond so all was even eventually.” 

“I would almost feel sorry for you, but I’m pretty sure you deserved that one.” You pointed out, your shoulder brushing Edmund’s. You tried to conceal the blush spreading quickly across your cheeks.

Edmund shook his head. “Siding with Lucy already,” He teased, “How typical.” 

You scoffed. “Well, she wasn’t the one who almost shot me in the head with an arrow.” You nudged him lightly. Edmund’s lips curled into a smile. 

“Y/N, that was an honest mistake. It’s not my fault you slightly resembled a deer.”

Your jaw dropped in mock-fury. “You little…”

Edmund smirked. “Little what? I don’t think I caught that.”
You mirrored his smirk. “Oh, I didn’t say a thing. Just remarking on your ever so accurate aim.” 

Edmund rolled his eyes indignantly. “Well it is a good thing I missed, because I am quite glad that I met you today Y/N.”

You felt a hot blush invade your cheeks, and you knew you couldn’t hide it this time. Edmund pretended he hadn’t noticed. 

You both continued walking until you had reached the beginning of the gardens again, meeting at the archway.  

“I shall bid you goodnight here. My horse Phillip insists I bring him an apple personally.” 

Edmund took a little bow. As sarcastic and mocking as he was, Ed was still a gentleman-y King of Narnia.

You curtsied a little awkwardly. “Of course, your majesty.”

Edmund chuckled, rolling his eyes.

“Y/n, I almost shot you in the head. You can call me Edmund.” 

Suddenly his hand met your jaw and a warm kiss was placed on your cheek. Without another word, Edmund disappeared behind a bush in true ‘Edmund fashion’.

You brushed your hand gingerly against your cheek. With a smile too relevant in your features, you stepped back into the castle. 

                                              **YEARS PASSED**

“Come on Ed, are you going to let your darling wife beat you again?” Lucy shouted, her horse jumping over a fallen tree. 

“He’s used to it by now.” Peter bantered, his horse slowing down, allowing Edmund to catch up. 

You all caught your breath as Edmund appeared, clearly annoyed.
“Oh please, Phillip can take half the blame.” The horse glared at the young King.

“I’m not as young as I used to be.”

Everyone exchanged laughter, all but Lucy, who seemed to be distracted by something. You frowned.

“What is it Lu?” Peter questioned, following her gaze to a tall lamp post.
Lucy mumbled inaudibly.

Beyond the clearing stood something you recognized. You could barely make out what it was, but you knew you had seen it before. You could sense it.

The youngest queen licked her lips. 

“Spare Oom.” 

You let out a sharp breath, suddenly remembering something. 

Spare Room.

Tall wardrobe. 

“Wait, Lucy, where are you going?” Susan inquired urgently, getting off her horse to follow Lucy. 

Everyone quickly did the same, and you all found yourself in a line, behind Lucy. You didn’t understand what was happening, but you knew one thing: Whatever lay beyond the clearing was familiar. 

“I know this place.” Lucy said, pushing passed tree branches. You glanced at Edmund. He smiled reassuringly, grabbing your hand and pulling you behind Lucy. 

Without even noticing, the trees blended into coats, and then shoving ensued. 

“Get off!”

“I’m not on your toe.”

The wood around you was blurry and faded, and you could barely tell what was going on. All you knew was that this wasn’t suppose to happen. The hand you were still gripping tightly started to feel different, almost like it was…shrinking. Softening. 

The next thing you knew, you were sprawled on the floor, next to the rest of the Pevensies. You let go of Edmund’s hand, quite confused. You were gripping the hand of an 11 year old boy. “Oh Aslan,” You muttered under your breath, staring in shock at your husband and brother and sisters in law. All children. 

“What were you all doing in the wardrobe?” 

You looked up instantly, eyes meeting the kind face of an older man.

 Peter smiled softly. “You wouldn’t believe us if we told you.” 

You let out a long breath. The man tilted his head. 

“Try me.”

You looked up to see the professor, with a twinkle in his eye, tossing you a ball. You caught it nervously, looking up at him.

 “My dear, it seems I have a lot of explaining to do.” You shared a look with Edmund. 


“You are not here by accident.” 

The professor smiled. “You’ve been granted your one wish. Now you are to remain here.” 

The four Pevensies looked at you in confusion.

 But you knew. Narnia was the wish, and this was the price. 

“I think I’ll manage.” You smiled, looking at Edmund.

“I already know how the story ends, after all.”

Thanks ladies for the supportive comments. It really means a lot to me. I don’t often delve into that phase of my life here, I think I feel like because my family court experience ended with me getting my kid back and our life getting better, I feel awkward trying to verbalize what bio moms you might be in a foster care relationship with could be feeling.

@bujnik thank you for the very thoughtful question. These are some things I wished the person taking care of my child had/n’t done:

-I wish she had deferred to my opinion on things that seemed little to her but were important to me. Clothing, for example. She felt like when I complained about clothes, I was being ungrateful for the effort she’d put into scrambling to get baby clothes. But to me how she dressed M represented something larger. I felt like she was dressing M the way she’d dressed me and my siblings, which made me feel like M was to her the other child she’d long tried to have. New moms buy tiny clothes with their first baby. Seasoned parents know how fast babies grow and buy big. But I was a new mom and I really wanted the teeny tiny onesies. That was the fourth baby she was taking care of, but my first baby, and maybe the only baby I’ll ever have.

-I wish she hadn’t done things that to me felt like she was making M grow up faster. Stroller selection, for example. I thought a newborn should be in a snap & go. She doesn’t like clunky strollers and didn’t know how to fold it so she got an umbrella stroller. It reclined all the way, it wasn’t unsafe. But I felt like that was a stroller for a 1-year-old, not a 1-month-old. I already felt like I was losing so much time with M, and anything that made M seem older made me feel like time was moving too fast for me to ever catch up.

-I wish she hadn’t shown me pictures of/ told me about all the random people spending time with M. She was trying to be nice and wanted me to know M was adored by an entire community. But to me it felt like how come your third cousin can take her for a walk, and I can’t; how come my brother’s roommate got to rock her to sleep, and I can’t.

-I was happy that my mom always answered when I called. On the rare time that she didn’t, my mind started swirling thinking something horrible had happened to M and I couldn’t focus on anything until I knew she was okay. I hated it when my mom would complain to me about being tired. I know taking care of a newborn is exhausting. But I would’ve traded anything to get to be exhausted from taking care of M.

-After rehab, there were 2 (3?) months when I could be at their house all day but had to sleep somewhere else at night. Then for another bit of time I could live with them but couldn’t be alone with M. She’d throw around her “supervising” power whenever she was irritated at me about anything. Right or wrong, I felt like she’s the one who needed to be supervised, not me. I wish she’d never taken advantage of the power she held over me.

-I wish she had listened to me about things like feeding schedules and sleep training. Or even put one percent of effort into trying. Maybe the way I wanted her to do things was not the way she’d done things in the past. But this wasn’t the same as how things had been for her in the past, i.e. this was not her child. When me and M moved out and I could finally start doing things my way, it was challenging to change some of the habits my mom had instilled.

-She said I was a great mom, but I felt like she took on an air of righteousness, like she thought she was the pinnacle of parenting because she was handed my baby. I wish she’d understood that the line between good and bad parenting can be very blurry. It’s easy to deem addicts unfit because drugs are simple to test for. Other things, like emotional abuse, are more subjective and not simple to test for. I wish she hadn’t interpreted her role in the situation as validation of parenting style, caregiving choices, and of herself as a superior human being.

In terms of maintaining the relationship with an incarcerated parent, these are some things I do for M’s dad:

-every year for her birthday I order her one of those personalized books and in the inscription say it’s from both of us. I color xerox the pages and send them to him so when we visit he can talk to her about the adventures she’s having in the book

-sometimes on a random weekend day I’ll take a photo of everything she’s doing like a pic of her eating breakfast, a pic of her in her car seat, a pic of her on the swings, a pic of her having a tantrum, a pic of her sleeping, etc then send them to him in order, so he can vicariously experience the little details of a day in her daily life which allows him to know her better and see what her life is like other than the usual generic smiling pictures I often send

-when she was younger I’d print out articles on child development and send them to him. I used to babysit so I have experience with kids but he doesn’t, and this would teach him what to expect at visits, let him know how she was progressing, etc. Now I send copies of the written portion from her parent teacher conferences.

-M is safe, happy, and healthy because of what happened. But that doesn’t mean there’s not a huge hole in her life from his absence. I think of some of the positive things he would be doing with her if he were here, things I wouldn’t be inclined to do on my own, and make an effort to do them with her. Gardening is one of them. That was his hobby and something I wasn’t interested in but I’ve started doing with M until he’s here to do it with her himself.

-as she’s gotten older there are personality traits I’ve noticed that she inherited from him. It’s hard for me to really understand her perfectionism for example, because I’m not like that, but he is. I asked him how he wished someone had helped him with that when we was a kid, and at a visit he talked to M about it, better than I could have, in ways she related to.

-I try to nurture their shared interests. He’s a great artist, so is she. She sends him unicorn drawings and he sends her drawings of her at a princess castle, etc.

-sometimes when I’m annoyed with him I have a tendency to write off his parenting ideas, like oh he has no clue about anything, I’m the real parent, I’m the one who’s here every day, etc. But it’s only luck that I’m here and he’s not. We were both arrested. He had a prior record so he got a seven year mandatory minimum sentence; I did not have a prior record so I got probation. I try to remember that I’m not better than he is; I’m just luckier. He wishes he could be here with her. One day he will be here with her. She’s just as much his child as she is mine.

First Time Again (5)

Oh hey guys. Gonna try and post a new chapter every week. We’ll see how that goes.

One Two Three Four

Chapter 5

We spent the entire afternoon and well into the evening with Cassian’s family. His father showed me his power, he could control nature. He had a vine chase Rhys, who didn’t find it funny. And his step mom she could control the weather. She made it rain over Rhys, who again didn’t find it funny. It was entertaining, watching them use their abilities without a care in the world. It was crazy to think I would be one of them one day.

Cassian took it all in like a sponge. He looked at his step mom like she was someone he had met before. The entire time they talked about who they were and what this life was, he had his hand tucked between my thighs. As long as he was touching me he didn’t freak out about any of this. Which was good because I needed his reassurance too.

After we left his family, hugging everyone and promising to come back, Cassian took me home. True to his word he cooked the three of us one of the best meals we had ever had. Fresh fish and vegetables, he made everything by hand. The vegetables were from Elain’s garden, who had come back from the store and was there to greet us.

She remembered Cassian and gave him a big hug when he came walking in holding my hand. Her cheeks were sunburnt, but she was happy to be out in her garden again. Feyre’s painting was drying out in the sun and I knew this was the one we would hang up when she was gone. It was Elain in the garden, her hat covering her red hair as it flew behind her in the wind.

As Cassian cooked I watched my sisters interact with him. They didn’t think this was weird, they clearly didn’t think we were moving too fast. They laughed at his stupid jokes and I couldn’t help but watch as his shirt moved with his body whenever he reached for something. I couldn’t believe that he was mine and yet I barely knew him. It was strange and thrilling all at once.

Elain suggested a movie after dinner. I jumped at any excuse to keep Cassian with me and he didn’t try to leave. We curled up on the long couch together, with Elain and Feyre settled in on the love seat. Cassian put a blanket over me, my head on his chest. I fell asleep within the first half hour.

I woke up in my bed, feeling better than I had ever felt before. When I turned, I found Cassian beside me, his arms wrapped around me. No aches, no pain, no fears flooded my body. I understood then what his uncle meant by having the best sleep of my life with my mate by my side. I never wanted to sleep without him again.

He was still asleep, his face soft and almost looked like the little boy I remembered. The life he had lived, the people who had hurt him and hardened him weren’t there in his features as his eyes moved under the lids. I wanted to reach out and touch his cheek, I wanted this moment to last for longer than five seconds.

Because in this moment I knew I was falling in love with  my best friend.

His eyes opened slowly. He smiled when he saw me. “Good morning,” he whispered softly as he caught me watching him sleep.

“I feel amazing,” I said softly, drawing a line across his cheek, “I’m never sleeping without you again.”

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Sunflower Tattoo

Hi everyone, this is a small drabble inspired by this prompt

I’ll post another OS/update one of my MC on Wednesday again after my exam :)

Hope you enjoy!


He does this every other day. Walk into their store, right after he closes his, sits on a stool right across the counter, where she sits day in and day out, faking smiles, forcing small talk and curating bouquets of flowers for other people when she’s never gotten one herself. Yet, she loves her job. It’s her own shop, and she has a set of loyal clientele and makes a good profit, especially considering the fact that she only opened up this store about 4 months ago. Also, it doesn’t hurt that he works right across her.

He owns a tattoo parlor, one of those old school ones, that hosts a niche selection of clients who are willing to pay a ridiculous amount of money to get their bodies inked. She grew up in a very traditional household, Christian and conservative, tattoos were heavily discouraged. It also doesn’t help that she’s always been a little afraid of needles. But there have been times, when she’s looked across the street, and seen him bent over a person’s body, heavily concentrating on his art, that she’s seriously considered getting one. Regardless, she gets her best view of him across her own shop.

It started about a month ago, when he’d walked into the store, and she’d been a little enchanted by him. His face, his eyes, his lips, and even the gorgeous sleeve tattoos that he had. He was a textbook version of the kind of boy April’s parents always warned her against. The one her hormonal infused teenage dreams couldn’t get rid of. And his smile. Oh god, his smile. She hadn’t really heard what she found herself agreeing to, but his voice was low and sharp, and she figured he could convince her to help him bury a dead body, no questions asked.

They hadn’t spoken much after that, except for the hellos, thank yous, you’re welcomes and goodbyes. There’s no small talk, and she appreciates it in a way. But she wants to talk to him, she wants to get to know him. She’s just spent the last few weeks working up the courage to do it. He comes in here, sits and sketches flowers for a good hour and then leaves.

“Have a good day.” She smiles at the man in front of her who just ordered a batch of flowers, for his wife, Megan. He’s a frequent client, and she finds it endearing that he buys her flowers almost every week. Lucky girl.

The bell chimes, as the door closes behind him, and April turns around to clear up her workspace. It’s just the two of them. She’d sent off her two other employees early today, considering how it had been a slow day.

“He’s cheating on his wife.”

April looked up all of a sudden, a little confused as to whom the voice belonged to and realized he was speaking. Jackson. She’d caught that much. He was still sketching, his hand moving effortlessly across the paper, but she was pretty sure he’d spoken up.


“He’s cheating on her.” He repeats, and finally looks up.



Her eyes widen and she wonders how on earth he knows that. It’s ridiculous. Jacob seems like a wonderful man.

“How do you know that?” She asks, a little curious and also a little giddy, because he was talking to her.

“Well, for starters, he says he’s been married for 15 years right?” He asks her, tapping his pencil on his book. She nods.

“Well, no man who’s been married to someone for that long still buys his wife flowers every single week, unless he has something to feel guilty about or apologize for. It’s sweet, romantic, at first. But overtime, the novelty wears off, and she doesn’t expect it. You say I love you very differently when you’re married for that long.”

“Like how?” She asks, a little too curious.

“Well, you do the dishes without them asking you to or you put the kids to bed while the other person takes a bath. Flowers become insignificant next to those.”

She smiles at him, because he’s right. All that sounds much more considerate than flowers. Even she can admit that.

“That’s the only reason?” She perks an eyebrow, and shoots her that half grin she’s starting to get addicted to seeing.

“Well, there’s also the fact that he buys 3 bouquets every week. The same one twice, white and red roses, and the other one is purple tulips. Surely, one woman likes either/or, not both. If that was the case, he’d buy three different kinds of bouquets.” He closes his sketch pad, and stands up.

She leans against the counter, brows furrowed, “So the odd one out is for the mistress?”

“Bingo. The mistress whom he calls, sweetheart. He addresses the other two to, Megan or my beautiful wife. The third is always sweetheart. He never gives a name for that bouquet. And I’m willing to bet that’s because it’s not Megan. Probably Carol.”

She giggles at that, but he’s starting to make more sense now and it’s making her realize how naive she could be sometimes. She’d definitely not be giving Jacob anymore discounts in the future.

“What an asshole.”

“I know right?”

They laugh, and for the first time, the air lightens up, and she finds that she likes him a whole lot better.

“You’re very observant.” She comments, as he leans forward against the counter, and she catches a glimpse of a sketch poking out of his book.

He shrugs, “I also have a photographic memory. That helps.”

She’s impressed.

“Like, for example, I know that your favorite flowers are sunflowers because you love that they turn to the direction of the sun and you also love them because not many people do. You hate roses, they’re too clichèd. Nothing special. Merely a product of mass commercializations thanks to Valentine’s Day. You love when people come here to buy flowers for their friends and family, because you think people shouldn’t just buy flowers for their romantic partners. You hate Debbie. She takes so long in the store asking you so many questions but always buys the same bouquet and you love Mr.Norris who buys flowers everyday to keep in his dead wife’s grave and you don’t mind even a little bit that he only remembers to pay you thrice in one week. You’ve never gotten flowers, but you’ve always wanted to. It’s the way you longingly stare at every bouquet. Which is a shame though, because who wouldn’t want to buy you flowers?”

He stops at smirks at her once more, and she stands there looking at him in complete and utter shock. She’s in awe, but also a little embarrassed, particularly at the last line. Although a part of her is a little warm and fuzzy that he thinks someone ought I have bought her flowers.


“I’m like The Mentalist.”

“But way better looking.”

She says this, and it takes her a minute to realize what she’s done. But she’s sees his eyes fall to hers, and a grin spread across his face, and she blushes like the red roses she hates.

“I’m glad you think so.”

He nods at her, and turns to leave. She stops him before he gets to the door, because all this reminds her of a question that remains unsolved, “Then why do you need to come to the shop everyday to sketch the flowers? Can’t you recall them from memory?”

“Oh, I can.”

She waits, hoping he’d elaborate because he hadn’t exactly answered her question yet.

He takes a minute. Turns away, and holds the door open, and she figures that’s all she’ll get on that, when he speaks up, “The flower isn’t the only beautiful thing worth looking at.”

And with that he leaves, leaving her behind to contemplate how the conversation she’d had with him had ended up being a million times better than the ones she’d been having in her head. She was flustered, and when the next customer came in, her last for the day, she had to give in a little extra to keep herself from getting dazed. He was a smooth talker, she thought, smart, funny, talented and he had a way with words. She’d love to get flowers from him.


April, walks in the next day, half an hour late, thanks to some early morning traffic, and she walks in apologizing profusely to Samantha, a gardener she’d hired.

“No problem. We only had one customer in. And the delivery wasn’t too hard considering how it was really really close by.” Samantha grinned wide, and pointed to the beautiful bouquet of sunflowers, perched on her counter.

“Then why are they still here?”

“Because they just got delivered to the customer.” She says, handing April the bouquet, and she takes a second, standing there, holding the flowers in her hands, and blinking. Once. Twice. Thrice.


“Enjoy.” She winks at her, and walks off towards the employee room.

April stands there confused, and instinctively looks out the window across the street, and faintly blushes when Jackson looks up at her at the same time and waves. She waves back and she can’t tell if she’s seeing it in her head, because of the distance, but she could swear he was wearing a smirk.

She sets the flowers down, running her fingers across the petals, before she notices a small card attached to it. She opens it up, a little afraid because this is the first time she’s getting flowers and she wants it to be special.

To April,

There’s a surprise inside the right hand side drawer. Enjoy!

- Jackson

She quickly puts the card down her heart racing and she gets a quick glance across the street to find Jackson staring intently back at her. She blushes once more, and turns her attention to the drawer, pulling out a piece of paper. She gasps as she realizes that he’s spent the last week sketching something other than the flowers. Her. It’s a lifelike drawing of her, behind the counter, smiling, surrounded by a bunch of flowers, tapes, ribbons and whatnot. She runs her hands over the grainy dried paint, and takes a moment to realize this is actually happening.

She turns the paper around and sees a sunflower in the back, tiny, beautiful, bright yellow. Next to it are the words, ‘You should get this’.

She stares at it for a minute, “Samantha, can you take care of the counter for a second, I’ll be right back.”

She walks right out, and into his store, all the while looking at him look at her, and happy that the confusion is now on his part.

She walks in, the place buzzing, literally. She feels a little out of place, in her yellow sundress, and bandanna wrapped hair, but she sees him walking towards her and it doesn’t feel so bad anymore.

“So?” He asks, but she knows he already knows why she’s here.

She holds up her wrist, points to the area of skin to the right side.


His smile return, wide boyish grin, and she finds herself melting again.

“You sure?”


He turns back to get his sketching paper, and she’s a little unsure of what to feel about how sure she is about this. He’s strange. Not him, per se. This pull. She doesn’t need to question it just yet.

“Oh there’s this special offer that we have. Free tattoo on one condition”

“What’s the condition?”

“You have to go on a date with me.” He shrugs, and leans back and waits for her reply.

She opens her mouth, closes it, and realizes she must look ridiculous.

“That’s a pretty good deal.”

“It is.”

She pretends to think for a while, “I’ll take it.”


Thank you for reading! :)

E.V.O.L - Chapter 2 (Trixya) - VicThirteen

A/N: Hello! I meant to submit this earlier, but I prefer to post the chapters only when I have the next one ready, so it took a minute. Also, I’m a believer in building antici-

…pation to make every moment that little more special. Thank you so much for the comments, it makes my heart glow with joy <3

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anonymous asked:

I have a prompt for emison: emily and Alison explaining to their teenage kids how they came to be and after their kids find out that they were essentially medical rape... but they doesn't mean they love them any less or something along these lines

this is so long and I can’t decide if I like it or not but I hope it’s kinda what you wanted!! ps these are in no way my ideal kids names (i don’t think) but my ideal kids names change every hour loool

“He’s asking questions, Emily. It’s time” Ali stood leant against the dining room table, her arms crossed as Emily stood grounded on the other side of the room, not making eye contact with her wife because she really, really, didn’t want this conversation now.

“He is 15 years old, Ali. He isn’t ready” She repeated for the millionth time. Alison sighed heavily as she rocked back and forth on her feet, close to rolling her eyes because Emily just wasn’t willing to co-operate.

“I don’t want him to walk around hating us because we refused to be honest with him!” Ali yelled, her voice raising despite the fact that she promised herself she wasn’t going to argue with Emily about this.

“And I don’t want him walking around hating us because he is the product of medical rape and not something that we asked for” Emily shot back, becoming increasingly frustrated that Ali couldn’t see how damaging this would be for their son.

“Em, he’s a big boy. He’s smart and he’s confident and he’s accepting. He will understand.” Emily raised her eyebrows.

“Are you willing to take that risk?” she questioned “we have no idea how he would react” Ali rolled her eyes, hating that they were arguing but knowing that Emily, in this case, was wrong.

“We cannot sugar coat this for the rest of his life. Look what happened with Spencer and Mary and Veronica. Their family blew up because they kept that secret for such a long time” Ali’s voice broke a little with the passion that radiated out of her and Emily took a deep breath before replying.
“We’re so good now, Ali” She said quietly, walking closer to her with her hands stretched out “I just don’t want anything messing up what we already have” Ali tilted her head, sighing and then giving up her anger, instead taking Emily’s hands in her own.

“I don’t want anything messing us up either, baby” she agreed, looking intently into her eyes “but I grew up in a house bursting with lies and deceit and betrayal. It wasn’t fun. And, it wasn’t good. For anybody. I vowed to myself when we decided to have our baby that, you know, I’d raise him better than I was raised. I didn’t ever wanna lie to him” Emily pursed her lips, knowing deep down that this was, realistically, the right thing to do but not ready to face the consequences. “besides” Ali continued “if he finds out by himself knowing that we lied to him? That would break this family apart more than If we just tell the truth” Emily sighed once again, placing a soft kiss on Ali’s nose. She smiled and let out a little chuckle.

“Okay” Emily conceded “if that’s what you want to do then that’s what’s going to happen” Ali closed her eyes briefly with relief, pulling Emily closer to her so that they moulded together in embrace.
“Thank you” She said honestly “I promise, whatever happens it will be worth it”

“You can find a better way to say thank you to me later” She teased, kissing her jaw and peppering her neck with soft pecks.

“Hey hey hey!” A voice from the hallway called, abruptly ending the moment between them as they jumped apart as their daughter appeared in the room “I’m home. Can I have a biscuit?” She asked, already wandering over to the tin that sat on the counter.

“If your ma hasn’t already hoovered them all up” Ali teased, walking over to the little girl and pecking her lightly on her top of her blonde hair “how was school?” She shrugged, grabbing to chocolate cookies and popping one in her mouth.

“It was okay. Mr Hunter gave me a gold star on my story about Polly the Unicorn!” Ali found herself grinning uncontrollably.

“Well done sweetie!” She said as the girl skipped over to see Emily.

“Thank mom” She replied. Emily ducked down onto her knees so they were at an equal height, taking a bite out of one of the cookies before kissing her on the forehead.

“I am so proud of you, baby” She told her. Her daughter frowned, as she finished the whole cookie before Emily could take another bite.

“Thanks mama” She said with a grin, her eye widening. “Please can I go and do some drawing?” Emily stretched back up to normal height, running a hand through her hair.

“Have you got any homework?” Emily asked her, raising her eyebrows. She shook her head happily.

“No, ma” She promised. Emily smiled, patting her on the head.

“Go on then” she said, motioning to the door. Before she ran off, Ali called to her.

“Bels, would you like to go with your sister to see Aunt Spencer tonight?” She asked sweetly, her heart warming as her daughters eyes lit up.

“Yeah, mom! Auntie Spencer always has the best stories to read us. Oh! Will Eleanor be there?” she asked hopefully. Ali laughed at the eagerness on her face, still having to remind herself that it wasn’t a dream that their daughter was best friends with Spencer’s.

“I’m sure she will be. Me and your ma just need to talk something over with your brother tonight” Bella shrugged, skipping back through the door and into the playroom they had set up for her and her sister.

“Okay” Emily sighed, walking back over to her “Hanna’s on her way over with Finn. She can take Bella over to Spencer’s with Artie and then we can sit down and talk all this over” Ali nodded, pacing over to the kettle in order to make them both tea. Another half hour passed before Hanna came in to drop Finn off and pick Bella up, happy to take her over to her Aunt’s. As Finn walked through the door in his basketball uniform, he trudged upstairs with barely a hello, headphones stuck to the top of his head.

“Hey” Emily yelled, running out into the hallway before he reached his bedroom. He rolled his eyes, yanking off his headphones. “come talk to us” He frowned, shoving the accessory into his rucksack and following Emily into the kitchen.

“What is it?” He asked as Ali walked over to greet him “I have work”

“Cut the attitude, Finn” Ali reprimanded him.
“Don’t tell me what to do” He said, turning his back to them.

“Don’t speak to your mother like that” Emily told him, crossing her arms “sit down” He dragged himself across the room, taking a seat on the small sofa that faced out onto the garden.
“Okay-okay” Ali tried to calm the pair of them, taking a seat next to him “Finn, we know you’ve been a little angry at us recently” She said, her voice wobbling.

“You’re both lying to me!” He exclaimed, looking down at his feet with his arms crossed defensively “I know Ma didn’t have me I found that photo of you pregnant with Aunt Hanna, Mom! I know you had me so how come I haven’t got the same skin Bella does?  Why is she blonde with blue eyes?” Emily sighed, taking a seat at the dining room table.

“We get it” She said “we have lied to you. You have every right to be angry” Emily said calmly, taking a sip of her tea before she continued, and she suddenly found herself becoming a little less sure of their decision. Her gaze floated over to Ali, who gulped but sent her a reassuring smile.

“We only lied to you because your Ma was trying to protect me” Ali interjected “and you.”

“Protect me from what?” He asked, his thumbs twiddling faster around each other. There was a silence for a moment.

“Before me and your mom were together” Emily began, cringing a little “she uh-she was married. To a guy. A doctor.” Ali scoffed at the memory.

“Okay?” Finn said “and?” Emily took a deep breath, knowing that what she was about to say was going to get complex.

“He was not a nice guy” She said “he uh-he abused your mom. Badly” His mouth dropped into a little ‘o’ shape, his eye flickering to Ali’s who’s gaze had suddenly dropped, concern smeared across his expression. “she ended up in hospital for a little bit”

“Wh-mom” He choked, putting his arm around her, all facade of his teenage anger and rebellion dropping. “what did he do?” Em took a minute, debating whether or not it was important to tell the whole story. With one look at Ali she decided it was.

“He made me think I was going crazy” Ali took over “he frazzled my mind and convinced me that I was insane” It was in hushed tones but the pain at thinking about it had still clearly not left her after all these years.

“This man- Archer- he, he was on side with A. Do you remember when me and your mom told you about A?” Finn nodded slowly, never being able to forget the day a few years ago that his parents had told him that story.

“Yeah” He said, his voice dry.

“Well, this A used Archer to carry out his most twisted plan” Emily continued “a few months before your mom got pregnant with you- I donated my eggs” Finn frowned.

“Why?” He asked. Emily shrugged.

“I was broke” she smiled “and I never thought I was going to find somebody I’d wanna have a family with” He smiled shyly back, a little embarrassed.

“So- A and this doctor man were working together? To do what?”

“Well” Ali continued for Emily “we still don’t know exactly why they were connected or how. But after Emily donated her eggs, A found a way to get a hold of them. He-he took them from the bank after she had the surgery to have them removed” Ali’s voice became thicker, and Emily could see tears brewing.
“And, when Ali was in the hospital he put her to sleep and kept her tied to a bed She said, taking a deep breath before saying the next sentence “and fertilised my eggs, with his own sperm, and put them inside your mom” The room was silent as Finn held on to his mom tighter than she had ever remembered. He had a little furrow between his brows, his  jaw clenched as his eyes became more bloodshot.
“and that kid is me?” He asked shakily. Emily nodded.

“Yeah, Finn. That kid is you. But I don’t want you to think that the way you came into this world affects how much me and your mom love you, okay? You changed our lives, I am so, so thankful for you everyday of my life” Emily could feel the tears stinging her eyes as she spoke.

“No, ma, don’t. I know that.” Ali took his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly “I just can’t believe you both had to go through that. Isn’t it like, rape or something?” He asked as Emily got up from her chair and sat on the other side of him as for a moment he let himself be hugged by his moms.

“It was awful at the time” Ali chimed in with hardly a whisper “but if it hadn’t happen we wouldn’t have got you” Emily reached around to place her hand on the back of Ali’s head, stroking gently as she could feel the pain washing over her still.

“Thanks for telling me” Finn cut in, pulling himself away from the both “makes sense why Bels is 10 years younger than me” he said, his eyes not wanting to look at either of them because he knew if he did he may actually cry. Emily nodded.

“It took us while to be ready for another one” Emily said. He nodded.

“You can go” Ali said with a smirk “we know you’ve got computer games to play and bad men to kill” He smirked apologetically. Running off upstairs, Em sighed with relief as she pulled Ali into her, sitting together curled up on the sofa.

“That went surprisingly well” she mused. Ali breathed heavily, looking up at her wife. “don’t look so smug” Em said, holding her closer.

“I’m not” she said. Em raised her eyebrows “okay, I am a little” she conceded with a smirk.

“we did good, Ali” She said softly “we did really good”

anonymous asked:

Yes, I hope we get a shot of those burnt lannister army that just destroyed the Tyrell army. I wonder if any of those Tyrell army men were expecting a child too? Probably

You know I’ve been thinking about numerous ways to answer this … maybe make a statement about how you are completely (and I believe deliberately) missing the point, maybe go on a long rant about how not a single one of Dany’s enemies so far has been sufficiently humanized for us to actually care (compared to many antagonists our other heroes faced), and some more blah blah blah, but it I think you actually put an interesting thought in my head … so thank you 😘 

I think that having one of the ed-sheeran-squad soldiers turn up dead at the Field of Fire would be far more emotionally involving, if not challenging, than having a equally “developed” Tyrell-soldier show up dead at after Jaime sacked high garden. It would make way more sense for the narrative and let’s call it “viewer-engagement” as well.  

War is an ugly affair. The books show this much better than the show, but even though GoT loves it’s bloodshed in an almost perverse degree and I’m pretty sure D&D get off good to gruesome revenge and violence, it has depicted the horrible realities of war several times. War is ugly. Really ugly.

But Grrm is not making the point that war is always wrong, no matter how ugly. There are things worth fighting and dying for, maybe, probably, even sending other men to their death for.

The important question is what are those things? How do we know?

Fiction and especially visual mediums have a rather easy solution for this: Show us the consequences after we know about the motives and intentions and let our gut decide. Those feelings can sometimes be hard to articulate, but you can and should try (I mean we are on tumblr here after all). But war-battle-sequences are a bit tricky: We get lost in all the spectacle and the amazing visual effects. At some point you just don’t see “people” anymore. We really need a “human face” to produce a real emotional connection. I think that the best way to achieve this is the pov-battle-sequence. You follow one character through the chaos, the bloodshed, the killing, a la Jon Snow in the botb. Draws you right into the horror that is war, you don’t even need tragic backstories for it. They tried to replicate this with Jaime and/or Bronn but it didn’t feel quite as “intimate” as it did with Jon. I am not exactly sure why, maybe it’s just me, but the botb is still the BEST FUCKING BATTLE SEQUENCE IN THIS GODDAMN SHOW ! I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THIS! THE FUCKING EMOTION BEHIND IT! THE FUCKING CAMERA-WORK! LIKE FUCK IT WAS … but I digress. 

War is especially ugly if the party we are rooting for is in the offensive. We tend to be far more forgiving towards people in the defensive, after all they didn’t “choose” to fight. So far, we have already witnessed two wars in which our hero could be seen as the “aggressor”, sort of. One of them certainly more than the other, but bear with me for a minute. In this case we really have to be down with this issue, we really need to agree with what “we are going to war for”. 

1. Robb’s Northern Campaign

I don’t know if it’s really fair to call him the “aggressor” (it isn’t, btw), considering everything that lead to his decision, but I hope you get the parallels I’m trying to draw here. He took his army south - into “foreign territory” - and went in for the attack on people that wronged his family. The show did not shy away from showing how ugly it was. We got this nice little scene of a Lannisters soldiers foot being cut off. A poor lad from a fishing-village near Lannisport who had no choice in any of this. In the beginning Talisa’s entire character more or less resolved around throwing shade at Robb (and de facto the audience) for being YASSSS KING IN THE NORTH! FIGHT THOSE FUCKERS! DEATH TO JOFFREY! DEATH TO THE LANNISTERS! As much as criticism Talisa’s character received, she did serve one important role. She put on her best disappointed mom-face, looked us straight in the eyes and asked “Now look at the mess you’ve made, was that worth it?”
In this case both the narrative and most, if not the entire audience agreed: Yes. It failed, but Robb was right for trying. Our conscious was tested by an “innocent” enemy soldier being crippled, but Robb’s “honor” came out of it intact. We understood his motives and intuitively decided that this war might be ugly (as all of them are), but not necessarily “wrong”.

2. Dany’s Invasion 

Side-note: About the dead Tyrell soldier: There is no reason to put in a dead lovable Tyrell soldier, because we already know that Cersei is driven by nothing but powerhunger. How would that influence the audience? Hah, Cersei evil doing evil shit, what else is new. We know that she (on the whole) is bringing death and destruction to the Seven Kingdoms for completely selfish reasons. The only thing that would accomplish would be to flash out Cersei as “tha villain™” and that really isn’t necessary at this point… We are not rooting for her, we do not have to ask ourselves whether her motives “justify” all this. We already know the answer to this: No. (Though I suppose there are some weirdos who are genuinely rooting for her, most are just fucking cynical … I hope, I neither want her nor Dany anywhere near a Throne). 

It feels like until this point, both D&D, Dany and the audience have been “selling” her invasion as a glorious endeavour, quite similar in many aspects to Robb’s Rebellion actually. They are both trying to avenge their father, they are trying to overthrow an illegitimate ruler, both have armies at their backs that fiercely believe in them, both said that they do not want the blood of innocence on their hands. Among the differences is that Dany clearly is the main aggressor of this war and that her motives might not be as “pure”. She is not trying to save her siblings, her father was rightfully disposed and most importantly: She is a conquerer. She is fighting to gain power over others. She is waging war for her “birthright”.

I would simply love for one of those ed-sheeran-squad lannister soldiers to show up dead because it would put Dany’s ideals and her crusade to the same ultimate test: How are we feeling about the mess Dany is causing? Is that worth it? Do we start to question her after being faced with an innocent real human victim we are at least a bit familiar with? Someone we can actually empathize with instead of the anonymous mass of soldiers she sets on fire? This is less about the poor soldier himself and more about our reaction to it. And how it does or does not change our perception of the person responsible for it. 

Also Dany does not have her own personal Talisa right now. Varys and/or Tyrion might involve into something similar, but since they are still on Dany’s side … let’s just wait and see.

I know that my original post was a bit snarky, but why do you even assume that we would automatically blame Dany for his death and not Cersei for sending him to the Reach in the first place or simply the universe for “the world” being such an awful, awful place. I’m sure after giving on of her inspiring speeches, all would be forgotten. Maybe the reason that you, anon, and so many others are that sensible and defensive to this suggestion (you are not the first ask and I doubt you’ll be the last), is that you yourself are not sure if Dany’s “purpose” justifies this? Is that it? Maybe? 

If Dany’s conquest is only worth fighting for if no lives are lost (or at least none that we care about) … is it really worth it at all? Should we cheer for her to win if one dead father leaves a bitter taste in our mouths? Have you lost faith in Dany’s cause and can’t stomach the consequences once they have a human face? In that case, welcome to the club. I can’t neither. Come to the dark!dany-side! We appreciate and love her character as the interesting, multi-faceted “villain” she really is and we have cookies. 

Herbal Alchemy Beyond the Usual

This will be one of those posts that will be slightly controversial, because I’m going to be trying to instruct people. Instructing is a good thing to do, but to do it well, a person must necessarily believe their method of doing things is better than the status quo. And, in this case, I do, for the most part.  There are reasons for this that will be explained.

Lately, I’ve been posting a lot about herbal alchemical experiments and herbs in general. I wanted to offer some recommendations for those who study herbs. It’s almost a plea, because I really don’t like the conventional approach to how they’re studied. The idea here is to break out of the status quo of witchcraft texts and move towards something more solid, because a lot of popular books on herbal magick don’t really offer solid foundations for beginners. Nor do most (but not all) websites. Hence, I felt the need to just come forward with my opinions on this matter.

First off, I recommend newbies ignore a lot of what’s out there, as I’ve said. I could reference some books that I think lead people in the wrong direction, but that strikes me as an incredibly rude thing to do. The problem, though, is that most resources offer no concise information as to why certain herbs have certain associations. In short, they just parrot the associations without backing them up. This is a problem, because it leaves the beginner with no idea why they’re doing what they’re doing. Everything in magick should be done for a reason, and if you don’t know the reason, you’re missing out!

Lets delve a little deeper with examples. A typical book discussing herbal magick these days will list a bunch of herbs and their correspondences. It’ll say that rose is associated with love and mugwort helps with developing psychism. This is all well and good, and is, in fact, traditionally considered true, even, but they never say why. In reality, roses are associated with love due to their appearance in the legend of Venus’s creation, as well as their scent most common colors evoking strong emotions in people throughout history. Mugwort is associated with psychism due to its association with the Moon. This comes from its silvery appearance, which draws to mind the exquisite shades of our dear Moon. The psychism comes in because the Moon reflects the Sun, and the Sun represents truth. Getting at truth is the goal of psychism, so, naturally, mugwort is conducive to doing this due to its Moon-like appearance.

You see? That wasn’t so bad, was it? Indeed, it’s quite fun. It gives the aspirant something to “chew on” rather than memorize. It gives you something to think about, and accept or reject depending on how you react to it. For example, you might decide that mugwort’s color more resembles quicksilver, and thus associate it with the rapidly-flowing forces of Mercury rather than the Moon. You can then use it that way. Or, conversely, you might decide that the above association wholly resonates with you, and use that. It goes far beyond “I need rose petals for my love spell!” and this is the path to more effective magick. It requires significantly more time than just looking up correspondences in a book, but believe me when I say it’s worth it.

A word about astrology, though: it doesn’t have to be part of your practice if you don’t want it in there. It’s true that most conventional associations for the planets stem from astrology (mostly as a result of Culpeper’s work), but you’re free to reject them. You can, if you’d like, spend time getting to know the plant and develop your own associations for it based on the impressions it gives you. You can also look into non-Western traditions and folk traditions regarding these herbs. Just because I chose astrology doesn’t mean that you have to. The point, though, is that you must develop a keen understanding of why you’re using, say, rose or mugwort, and then you’ve got a solid foundation.

I’ve spent quite a few paragraphs emphasizing the need for understanding the why of magick. It’s time I talked a little bit about the why of the why. I’m sure you want to know why I think this method is better, and I’ll tell you. It’s for multiple reasons.

The first, rather mundane reason, is that researching all this herb business gives you insight into other things. I’m getting to the point where I can interpret natal charts with a modicum of accuracy, almost solely because I’ve had the nature of the planets and their Godforms drilled into my head by my herbal research. Similarly, even if you’re working in a non-astrological tradition, you’ll learn all kinds of things by looking into why certain herbs are used. Even if you’re “making up” your own associations for each herb, you’re still learning (about yourself). Mythology, culture, religion, your mind - it’s all in the plants, if you get to know them well enough.

Another reason is that it allows you to develop a spiritual rapport with the plant, even if you’ve just bought the herbs dry. Ideally, we’d all have our own gardens and grow our own herbs, thus being parent to the things that help us with our magick. We would know them intimately. That’s not possible for everyone - it’s not for me. I can’t get anything to grow. Nor can I forage, given how inadequate my area is. Despite this, I do firmly believe I can connect with the egregore of a particular plant, by studying how it functions in tradition. Realize that, regardless of what tradition you’re operating within, these plants have been used for these purposes for hundreds, if not thousands of years. That alone shapes the plant. Humans have a relationship with nature rather than an inert dominion over it. Even if you come up with your own meanings, you’re still dialoging with the plant, and that will super-charge your magick exponentially. At least, compared to how it is when you simply memorize from a list.

I’m not saying your spells won’t work if you learn from the conventional lists in books, but I do firmly believe they won’t be as life-enriching as they could be. Controversial, I know, but I believe it’s true. Why? Well, I’ve been getting some memories floating through my head lately. In the old days when I studied herbs, I never moved past the aforementioned “Peppermint is good for communication! Rose petals for love!” lists of correspondences, so I was essentially flying blind. The spells were functional, but I got nowhere near the results that I’m getting now. There were some incidents of excellent success, but in those cases, I’d, without exception, worked out why the herbs were suited to the purpose at hand on my own.

I was going to have actual citations in this post, since I recently learned that it’s (kind of) possible to have footnotes in a Tumblr post. I decided, though, that it would be more productive to spend some time here listing useful sources. Here are a few. Most of them are biased towards the Western Mystery Tradition and Western astrology in general, because that’s my chosen focus. This may or may not suit you, but there are comparable sources I’ve seen (though not fully read) for other traditions. I’m just mentioning these to get people who are interested in the WMT started. I realize there’s not nearly enough books listed here, but, well, these are the only ones I’ve found thus far that really chew into the herbs and the forces they channel. There are probably others (not to mention websites), but I’ve yet to encounter them, so this is all I can mention. If anyone out there in Tumblr-land knows of any others, or useful websites, please send me information about them!

The Herbal Alchemist’s Handbook, by Karen Harrison is by far the most accessible and enjoyable book on this subject. Each chapter begins with the classic list of correspondences, then goes into detail about the why of it all. And it’s topped off with a small recipe for a simple (in varying forms) for each planet! As is the case with most of these books, it focuses only on the traditional planets, so someone wanting to work with the outer planets will have to look elsewhere. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that understanding the inner planets is crucial and should be undertaken before approaching Neptune and company. My only major qualm with it is that a lot of the correspondences are justified solely by the physical effect the herb has upon the body. While these are mostly in line with other methods of figuring them out, it’s not the whole picture.

A more meaty, but less easily interpreted book is the Weiser Concise Guide to Herbal Magick, by Judith Hawkins-Tillirson. Essentially, the author of this book draws from Crowley almost exclusively, so if you’re squicked by him, you’ll want to give it a pass. Much of the correspondences come directly from 777 and are lucidly described as relating to various paths on the Tree of Life. It’s an education in herbs, yes, but it’s also sort of a sneaky introduction to Kabbalah that can be absorbed organically. Some folks might consider the source suspect, given that some people hate Weiser (because reasons), but you have to realize that this lady cites complete sources for almost everything she writes, to the point where much of the book is explication at heart. Very dispassionate. One downside to using Crowley almost exclusively, though, is that there’s only a few plants discussed for each celestial force, and thus it’s kind of limiting. This can be remedied by consulting other sources, of course, so I still recommend checking this out just for how thorough it is.

I recommend Mixing Essential Oils for Magic, by Sandra Kynes for anyone who is even vaguely interested in compounding oil or alcohol-based potions using essential oils. Rather than being mostly about different correspondences, this book focuses almost exclusively on how to achieve a balance that excites the senses. This is extremely useful, because if you can’t stand the smell of a potion, it loses some of its efficacy, in my opinion, because this sort of cuts into the bond you have with the plants. That’s really why I recommend this book, because it doesn’t go into much detail about the reasons behind the associations, but it’s still quite a gem.

There’s also Real Alchemy, by Robert Allen Bartlett. I’ll be honest - I’m not quite finished reading this book, but I’ve absolutely got to mention it! It’s amazing and mind-blowing. I had grown frustrated and a bit stagnant just mixing herbs based on planetary associations, but this book brought me out of that. It doesn’t just talk about the plants and why they have certain associations. It goes into detail about centuries-old techniques for harnessing their power. The only caveat I have about it at this point is that he says some pretty cringe-worthy things in an attempt to justify using modern methods. For example, he spends three or so paragraphs trying to convince the reader that it’s okay to use Everclear rather than distilling your own alcohol. Kind of a waste of time, in my opinion. The book’s quite useful, though, giving practical advice. One note, though: it requires a pretty complex setup to perform some of the operations in the book. He tries to simplify it, but a lot of it can’t be simplified.

Anyways, thanks for your time, and I hope this didn’t anger (to many) people. We all take a small risk whenever we throw our opinion out there onto the web, but the key is to be able to accept the consequences. I think the way to achieve that is through knowing yourself and your views intimately, and being willing to allow others to test and examine them.