this god damned thing

Self Promotion/Brag Alert!

You know, I may not be in the exact job I want to be, but god damn I’m one hell of a stronger person than I was a year ago.

Work can suck the life out of me, but I’m so excited to watch how I’m continually growing in my role. You’re weak and make me have the uncomfortable conversations with others? Fine. More chances for me to improve myself. You’re going to cave when someone’s a giant ass and thinks he can bully you into getting his way? Sure. But not me.

I’ve been learning to just cut out the bullshit in my life and let it go. Knowing what I will absolutely not stand for and sticking with it does amazing things for you.

I’ll say it again. God damn I’m proud of me.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.