this girl from my school

HOW YOUR SUICIDE WILL AFFECT OTHERS.

When I was 16 I swallowed 3 bottles of extra strength pills in my school bathroom because I simply didn’t want to live anymore and I was tired, just so very tired. I couldn’t walk down the halls without being stared at and talked about because the school football team posted things about me online and eventually the rest of the bystanders joined in the harassment. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about, I’m here to talk about how the aftermath of your suicide will affect others in a way that you would never understand. Because you thought no one cared, but they did. So, here’s my story.
 I will never forget the look on my parents faces when they had to sit back and watch their little girl almost die from uncontrollable seizures. They had tear stained eyes and puffy cheeks. But what fucks me up the most was seeing my dad cry. I’ve only ever seen my dad cry twice. The first time was at his mothers funeral, and the second time was when I tried to end my life.
One of the responding fire fighters was a coach from one of my sport teams. And for a fearless man who ran into burning homes as a job, he couldn’t move from the corner of the room because the successful athlete he watched grow up was dying in front of his eyes.
My 2 best friends experienced the hardest part. They were the ones who found my limp unconscious body slouched up against the bathroom stall. They were the ones who had to be physically torn from my side because they didn’t want to let go of my hand. And to this day, they still have nightmares about that morning like it was yesterday.
A girl from my school who had also tried to take her own life earlier in the year showed up at hospital bed and gave me the biggest hug. She cried as she tried to explain how great life is, that image is still stuck in my head.

You see, it’s not about how many people will give a shit if you die. It’s about the ones who would, and how bad it would fuck them up for the rest of their lives. People care, and they always will. Suicide isn’t the cure to sadness. 

100% ACCURATE! 

Clingy (Jughead x Reader)

Prompt: hello! love your blog! can i have a jughead x reader fic where the reader and jughead are dating and she overheard him telling someone (maybe like archie or betty) that she’s clingy and so she distances herself from him? lol idk if that makes sense but if you could write it that would be amazing! thank you!!!!

A/N: I love this prompt so much. I had so many different storylines come to mind but hopefully you enjoy this one! Requests are Welcome!!

Masterlist

– Clingy (Jughead x Reader) –

You were walking towards your locker when you saw them.

Jughead and Archie talking by Jug’s locker.

Your heart skips a beat when you see that he’s wearing your favorite sweater of his. The soft green one that goes oh so well with his eyes.

Stop at your locker then go say hi to your boyfriend and his best friend. Routine. Like clockwork. Only today is when things change.

Opening your locker, you hear Jug say something sounding like your name. Thinking he saw you, you move your head a little to smile at him only to find him and Archie frowning at each other. That’s weird.

You pull out your English book and shut your locker, shrugging it off.

As you start to get closer, you hear him.

“I don’t know Arch. Is she clingy? Are all girls like that?” He sighs and digs around his locker for his science book.

Were you being clingy? Your heart starts to tighten in your chest. Was it making Jughead uncomfortable?

“Nah. You know (Y/N) is just a touchy person.” Archie offers him a smile. Neither of them saw you standing in the hall by the water fountain.

Archie says something quieter so you couldn’t hear but Jughead responds.

“I know. we spend every day together. We do everything together. Sometimes I feel like she’s always there. I can’t concentrate on anything half the time. She’s a huge distraction.” He shuts his locker and turns to Arch.

Archie nods and pats his back, saying something else but you already turned to leave.

Feeling hurt, you decide not to stop and say hi to them. It would be too clingy.

Keep reading

monop-olly  asked:

Wait what happened with the gay uprising in your school???

Okay, story time.

My high school was a public school with only 3 people out of the closet. A couple of girls we all vaguely saw holding hands and kissing a few times but nobody knew them, and myself. 

When I started dating my girlfriend during my second year, I was pretty chill about it, I didn’t really care and her either, so we just did what every other couples did. She was still very private in her own way so people didn’t come to her that much, but I had the reputation to be a little too chill about it all. After a week or so, every two days someone would come to me to tell me they were bi or gay, a lot of my own friends did. One of my dude friends even wanted to talk to me in private so badly, I thought he was gonna ask me out and I freaked out… I only stopped screaming “PLEASE NO” when he yelled “I DON’T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU, I AM GAY TOO YOU DUMBASS” at me. All those people ended up befriending each other so in the end, we were a group of approximately 40 friends, with only like 5 totally straight people among us.

Our group of friends was very large so we were rarely all together, but when we were, well, we were kinda noticeable. So the other students started noticing too how girls and boys were holding hands and kissing, so other people started coming out in other groups and asked me about coming out stuff too. And it went on and on for a year. We started at 3 queer people and at the end of the year, the private High School of the same city was calling us The Gay High School.

Long story short, I was gay Moses in my second year of High School.

I’m reading The Lost Hero again and… Wow. There are so many things I had forgotten!

Well, this is how I see Piper in my mind now. Smol kiddo 100% ready for a fight.


She’s not the kind of girl I would befriend in school though. In Brazilian portuguese we have a word that kinda fits her: “Barraqueira”.

 At the beggining of the book she wants to fight every single girl who looks at her and especially every girl who looks at Jason, and this is really annoying. She basically wants to punch everybody to “show the world she’s strong". Of course I understand that, suffering from bullying all her life, it’s natural that she’s always in a defensive mood, but c’mon girl, just calm down. Pls.

 And to make it better, she kinda demonizes everything girly. I don’t blame her, the damn Riordan wrote her this way, but WOW it pisses me off. It starts with her judging Drew by her looks. “Too pretty, makeup, fashion style. Hum, must be evil.” And this judgement is then applied to almost every female character who does not follow the line “100% good”.

 And oh well, Aphrodite and her children. Do you guys remember the Hipnos Cabin? These guys sleep all the time, and do not seem to be good at battles. But still, whose fame is it to be useless in fights? Aphrodite’s children.

 “Ah but Hipnos’ children can make the enemy sleepy, blah blah blah”

 Aphrodite was born from Uranos. She’s probably as powerful as Zeus, or even more, because as we all know, even the gods can’t escape from love.

Love is a powerful thing. Love can be BRUTAL. So that story of Aphrodite’s children being always portrayed as supermodels who only care about their looks and boyfriends and can’t fight a bug is just RIDICULOUS

Sorry about it, is just something that really bothers me.

Things I Have Been Reading ...(Feb)

This really has been a labour of love because I have tried to post it twice only to have my laptop crash and have to start again!!!  

As I have been off work for the past few weeks I have had the pleasure of reading a butt load of fic (I believe that is the technical term).  I have also had some AMAZING recommendations sent over to me and please do keep them coming, feel free to tag me or send a link or send it to me by telepathy (although maybe not the last one because my telepathy skills are a little off atm).  It was quite tricky to narrow down this months list but here are some of my favourite things that I have been reading in February 2017.

P.S. If you make your way through all this and still want something to read then check out @lucifersagents who has been writing the most amazing drabbles and I love each and every one of them!

Supernatural:

A huge thank you for all the SPN recs I’ve got this month! I have found some amazing writers who I hadn’t come across before so please keep them coming or there is a good chance this list will just be Gabe filth.

Pull them Harder@wayward-mirage gifts us all with this amazing Gabriel filth.  As a Gabe girl I have to say this fic gave me several ideas which I will probably never actually get round to writing.

Bringing Tidings Of Joy@bkwrm523 has written this fantastic little series and I urge all Gabe girls to pay special attention to part 2 before going having a cold shower.

While You Were Gone @luci-in-trenchcoats has killed me this this fic.  I haven’t got the words to describe how amazingly sweet and adorable this is a fantastic insight into Dean that warmed my heart.

You - @eyes-of-a-disney-princess is a writer who has recently come to my attention and from what I have read so far I expect great things.  This bit of Dean smut is fantastic and please feel free to make your way through her masterlist!

Off Limits –   @dancingalone21  I cannot begin to tell you how much I adore this fic, it is super cute and the relationship between Sam and Dean is brilliant.

Winchesters Don’t Giggle –  @rizlowwritessortof I read this a while back and it made me smile like an idiot.  I do love the softer side of Dean.

Research –  @nichelle-my-belle Here is another writer I have only just found but after making my way through her masterlist is definitely on my favourites list! This Sam smut is amazing and you should go follow her and read all the stuff!

Unexpected@percywinchester27 After reading this I want to have Sams babies. Lovely and fluffy and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Marvel:

So as you can see this list is quite Steve/Bucky heavy so if you come across ANY other marvel fics that you think I should read PLEASE let me know. I love Steve and Buck but I’m a sucker for the underappreciated characters.

Not Over You@amarvelouswritings This series is killing me a little but in a totally good way.  

Try Again@promarvelfangirl A fine example of the breaking up and getting back together genre beautifully written and I may have had a stupid grin on my face quite a bit when reading this one.

Dirty Minded Cap – Steve - @fvckingsteverogers As a Steve/Chris girl I have no idea how I have not found this blog sooner but here is another masterlist I will be pouring over.  This Steve smut made me all tingly in my lady parts and I think I’ve found another favourite blog!

Homesick @thorne93 I have been reading this series from the very first part and as always my girl here has schooled me in the art of writing.  The fabulousness of series like this is why I don’t really write series because the bar is set really high x

What This Was@amarvelouswritings  THIS SERIES IS AWESOME AND I CAN’T WAIT FOR MORE AND I WANT TO BE ON HER FOREVER TAG LIST BECAUSE EVERYTHING I HAVE READ OF HERS IS AMAZING!  Sorry, fangirling a little there but in all seriousness, you should go follow her.

Screwed - @just-call-me-mrs-captain  It is entirely possible that I binge read this entire series and squealed several times.  Bucky is so brilliantly written here, go read it now!

Hallelujah –  @bovaria brings you a bit of Bucky angst for you all.  You may want to get a box of tissues handy before you start this one, you have been warned.

I think she likes you@emilyevanston I am feeling the whole coffeeshop AU thing right now and as someone who adores nerdy Nat this fic is super sweet.  The interactions between Bucky and Clint are brilliant and I pretty much had a grin on my face all the way through reading this one.

Exs and Ohs –  @civilwarkilledme I feel there should be more T’Challa, especially if this is what is created!  

Star Trek:

I’m a little light on Trek fics (possibly because I’ve been drowning in the Steve/Bucky trash) so send me your recs and hopefully they will make my list!!!

Carnival Fun@atari-writes creates a lovely version of the gorgeous doctor in this fic and I absolutely loved it.  

Stop Apologizing@kaitymccoy123 a super sweet bit of Bones here.  It’s all fluffy and awkward and really cute.

More Than You Know and The One by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord are two amazing bits of the lovely Captain. A beautiful little fic and an wonderful series that are well worth a read but then again she is one of my favourite writers and I would put everything she writes on this list if I thought I could get away with it.

Other Fandoms and Fics:

Love and Spiders@little-red-83.  So I fully admit I’m a Fili girl and this adorable little fic crossed my path a while back and I thought it was super cute and super sweet and as someone who is terrified of spiders this would be something I would do. Plus @little-red-83 is my tumblr twin so go check out her work.

Sleepy –  @chrisevans-imagines I am a total sucker for a daddy Chris Evans fic right now and this one is super cute.

Treat You Better  - @dont-hate-relate-pls has written this beautiful almost heartbreaking little fic about the lovely Rob Benedict and she writes him so well I can hear his voice in my head as I read it.

Let Me Show You @wayward-mirage is a writing genius who I adore and her Mark Pelligrino fics like this one are absolutely sublime.  Go follow her and show her a little love.

Donnie x Reader - @totally-turtle-imagines this is a really sweet little imagine about how super cute, fluffy and awkward Donnie can be.

Sharpie Promises @another-tmnt-writer.  This Soulmate AU is adorable and the unsure, insecure side of Raph just makes me want to give him a hug.  I am really enjoying seeing what this fandom and this blog has to offer. Also check out Hold Me for an extra slice of @another-tmnt-writer’s Raph.

Keep reading

‘I enjoy this too’

Originally posted by sensuous

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 2,4k

Anon request: ‘’ Request Baekhyun proving that he really loves his s/o (who is older than him, say 26-28) and it gets smutty? Thank you!’’ 


‘How many times do I have to tell you that you’re the one and only for me?’ You roll your eyes, trying to slam the door behind you. He cathes the door and lets out a sigh.

'Just let me alone, Baekhyun. I need time.’ You say, starting to undress. His eyes are totally fixed on your actions, especially on your small body.

'Time for what?’ You turn around, facing his expresion from the doorway. He is sad and confuse at the same time but it’s not your fault. You saw him with that blonde girl, being normal and smiling like he is used to be when you two are together. She even hugged him and your boyfriend let her to do it. It’s just driving you crazy the idea of him cheating on you.

'I don’t know… maybe we need a pause.’ You say unsure.

Keep reading

2

I remember the days of self-hatred. I remember the moments where I told my mother how much I hated who I was. I remember the people who helped push me down. Little did they know that they pushed me down just for me to jump up twice as high. So thank you to my bullies. Thank you to those white twins from back in the day. That light skinned boy from elementary. Mr. Leblanc for telling me I wasn’t going to amount to anything in just the sixth grade. That girl from high school that asked me dumb questions about my skin as if I was an abnormal animal. My old teachers that always had something to say about my hair. And to modern society, for creating the root of self hatred for millions of little dark skinned black girls with kinky hair like mine. I am so grateful for you all. For if it wasn’t for your wall of hatred, I wouldn’t know how to break through walls today.

Reasons to wait until tomorrow

The day after he killed himself the sun shone for the first time in months.
His school’s cafeteria gave out deserts to mark that spring had come.
They played the Goonies in the library during lunch.
A Junior brought her tiny grey puppy to school. She let everyone pet him.
Two friends kissed in the park next door, interrupted by children’s play sounds.
The sun was so warm and the grass so cool that a boy who had spent years wishing to disappear texted his friend saying that he was ready to live, he really wanted to live.
The night after he killed himself, we could still feel the sun in our skin from being outside all day.
That night, children went roller skating and watched Disney films.
There was a sky full of stars and a breeze that came from the sea.
If the freshman boy had waited just one day, if he had seen the sun and sky and the wonders and felt what we felt that day, maybe (just maybe) he may have waited until tomorrow. Maybe by some miracle he would have been able to hold on. Maybe he would have seen the promise of an even better day.
And his friends, who all spent the day crying, would tell you this: even though the sun shone and the day was beautiful, for them it didn’t even matter. It wasn’t real to them. They didn’t feel the warmth. They didn’t get any of it. All they got was loss.