this giant dork

Some facts about Hillary Clinton

- In one of her FOIA’d emails, she refers to Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich as “mittens” and “grinch” 

- in another, she asked an aide to remind her to bring more teacups from home

- and also please tell her what time parks and rec is on. 

- She calls some of her most loyal supporters her “sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits” 

- She nicknamed her secret service van the Scooby Van 

everyone’s like “oh she’s a robot” no she’s a GIANT DORK please vote for Madame Dork in Chief 2016 

in order to sway a decidedly unimpressed kit purrson, one off-season tater invests in a huge fluffy cat onesie. kent comes home to the sight of his giant russian boyfriend crouched on the couch in a glorified footie pyjamas and laughs so hard he has to sit down on the living room floor. it has a tail. and ears. ‘yes, you laugh,’ tater tuts, ‘we see who laugh when cat loves me better.’

the craziest part? it actually works. kit refuses to leave tater’s side the rest of the month and kent is torn between irrational jealousy and hysterical laughter because what the actual fuck, man. what the fuck.

youtube

@ChrisEvans: I definitely kept my cool when we scored in OT to win the game @thescottevans @Renner4Real @LOZOg @peck_j

OMG THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!!!!!!! 🤣😍 I also love how Chris went with his brother and Jeremy.

P.S. I thought he was gonna fall off for a second there… Those were some high jumps!

Welcome to Hell - Human Mephistopheles Headcanons

  • He was definitely a music major in college. There are few instruments he can’t play, but his main instrument was the trombone (for the memes).
  • After college he did orchestral work for several years, switching between instruments to avoid boredom. Eventually, he decides that what he wants to do is to teach. This was a mistake, dear god someone save him.
  • He always starts the first day of the new school year by announcing ‘Welcome to hell.’ (Seriously, why did he think teaching high school band was a good choice?)
  • Mephi does not know how to play any string instruments (besides guitars and the like), so Tom had to be hired to handle that section.
  • Unknown to his students, Mephi is just as skilled in playing more modern music. He once was part of a garage band that never really played anywhere, mostly because they kept changing their minds about what sort of music they would play.
  • Sock plays violin and is taught by Tom, but somehow has managed to get attached to Mephi and comes to bug Mephi during his free time. He’s the only one who knows the extent of how truly adverse Mephi is to playing/learning string instruments.
  • Jonathan sometimes hides out in the band room. Mephi can’t be bothered to kick him out and sometimes they talk music. Mostly its mutual ignoring of each other. Sometimes he takes off his headphones to listen to Mephi play and is the only one in school who knows about Mephi’s garage band days.
  • It’s because of the way they hang out around Mephi that Sock and Jonathan meet and eventually become friends. Mephi makes sly jokes about them being together and him being a third wheel when they hang out in the band room.

This is less of ‘Human Mephistopheles hc’ post and more of a Band A/U post, hahaha. Oops. Feel free to add to it if you have any ideas for any one else in this A/U.