this film makes me feel things

There is one thing that makes me feel sad..
When you’ re at the concert..why do you filming everything and taking photos all the time..That’s not the point. You paid for your ticket and now you watching your favourite band by the phone. Don’t you think that this is stupid? And also you make that I can’t see my idols. People, the best memories should be in your head not in your phone!

The first time I read The Color Purple, after reading the last word, I immediately turned back to the first page and started again.  I simply didn’t want it to end and I didn’t want to say good-bye to Celie and Shug, even Mister, because I felt like they were a part of my life, or at least my neighborhood.  I felt this way after I finished a great YA book called I’ll Give You The Sun, and I felt it when I watched, of all things, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  The most recent time I remember this feeling was watching Moonlight. It doesn’t happen very often–I mean, I love lots of books and films and TV shows, but they don’t all make me miss them–but when something grabs me so forcefully, I just roll with it and enjoy it and try to figure out what I’m supposed to get out of it.  More often than not, what I’m supposed to get out of it is hope.  Hope that beauty and vulnerability and grace will win out, despite pain and fear.

Enter Skam.  I mostly lurk around the edges of this fandom, as I am older than the rest of the Skamily and feel, perhaps, like I am intruding on your space. As a teacher, I often like to both know what my students are into and also what things I can recommend or share with them.  So I checked it out. Quickly, this show reeled me in and I wasn’t watching from a distance anymore.  These characters–these squads–have absolutely become a part of my neighborhood, and I half-expect to run into them or have one of my students bust out a story about Jonas or Chris Berg at any moment.  They have become beloved to me and I have been trying to figure out just why.

What I have come up with is so simple:  I needed them when I was young. As a young queer, I had nothing like this.  Nothing.  I never saw young people coming out, especially the confusing, conflicted coming out of someone who lives in a community that is relatively supportive.  As it was for Isak, coming out for me was full of embarrassment and worry about my family and how my friends would react.  Like Isak, much of my fear was not based on clear outright violent homophobia from my loved ones, but the pervasive homophobia in the air and  my own internalized bullshit.  Growing up, there was nothing like this Isak, and his Even, on TV or in books I loved.  When I watch Skam, it is as if I am healing old hurts that I didn’t even realize had lingered.  We will be loved, we will have family, we will be safe. 

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five things tag

Tagged by: @strugglingtofrench

Rules: tag 15 people

5 things you’ll find in my bag:

  1. My phone charger
  2. Snacks
  3. Debit card/money
  4. A book
  5. Eyeliner and lipstick

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom:

  1. A stack of books I haven’t read
  2. A box of children’s book I can’t let go of
  3. Language notebooks
  4. Snacks and candy
  5. My cat and I

5 things I’ve always wanted to do:

  1. Own another doggo
  2. Do a TED talk
  3. Go camping in the mountains
  4. Dye my hair blue or red
  5. Create a virus for the sake of making a virus

5 things that make me feel happy:

  1. Food.
  2. My cats
  3. Learning languages
  4. Going to the cottage
  5. Cleaning (no joke.)

5 things I’m currently in to:

  1. Learning languages
  2. Science! 
  3. Dance
  4. Studio Ghibli films
  5. Teaching people

5 things on my to do list:

  1. Learn Russian so I can read “War and Peace” in the original language
  2. Travel all across Europe and hopefully live there
  3. Get my PhD in Astrobiology
  4. Visit Auschwitz
  5. Write and publish a book

I tag: uhhh, I dont know… Anyone and everyone

Now, remember, one of the plots in the earlier films was the telepathic communication between my sister and me,” Hamill said. “So I thought, Carrie will sense that Han is in danger and try to contact me. And she won’t succeed, and, in frustration, she’ll go herself. Then we’re in the situation where all three of us are together, which is one of my favorite things in the original film, when we were on the Death Star. It’s just got a fun dynamic to it. So I thought it would have been more effective, and I still feel this way, though it’s just my opinion, that Leia would make it as far as she can, and, right when she is apprehended, maybe even facing death—Ba-boom! I come in and blow the guy away and the two of us go to where Han is facing off with his son, but we’re too late. The reason that’s important is that we witness his death, which carries enormous personal resonance into the next picture. As it is, Chewie’s there, and how much can you get out of [passable Chewbacca wail] ‘Nyaaarghhh!’ and two people who have known Han for, what, 20 minutes?
—  Mark Hamill Speaking The Actual Truth jfc in Vanity Fair
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It’s very difficult for me to talk about myself. You feel strange, self-aware, very foolish. Your third eye clicks on, just to try to maintain a healthy sense of perspective, and you think, “What am I doing here? I’m just making a movie, and people want all these things from me.” It seems strange to have so much fuss over a film.

You feel like you’re nothing,
Not a whiff in the wind.
The feeling’s so crushing,
How could you be so blind?

You are my everything.
You are my sun and my moon,
You are my ups and downs.
You are my whole life,
You are my smiles and my frowns.

You are those little moments of bliss
You are my thoughts and my feelings.
You are my first kiss
You are myself and my being.

You control my thoughts
You make me think of you
You take away my free will
You make me say,
You make me do.

You must understand that this is not a bad thing
You are my guidance
You are my compass
You are my saviour
You are my hero

You are who I need
You are for whom I breath.

things about the livestreamed episode that got me feelin some type of way

1. justin basically never being not laughing

2. Brothers On A Comfy Couch (also included in package: one (1) shoulder lean)

3. “this is not a tarantula i don’t know if –"  "then why’d you BRING IT mark” and in general just griffin clinging to justin's sleeve throughout that entire segment

4. griffin and justin being 10x more excited than travis that he conquered his fear, also the McElroy Cluster of Support and Calming Voices 

5. spaghetti by the pool. ok.

6. the fact that they write off travis hitting justin as an awkward unscripted unprofessional thing and then for the rest of the episode physically cannot stop bringing it up

7. even the mayor of huntington west virginia thinks justin is adorable

8. eight legs of justice

9. alex by the way ended up being absolutely incredible. she gave no fucks whatsoever even when faced by three strangers filming her for their tv show telling her to get a tarantula she basically looked at them and said point-blank to their faces “no” and i wanna be her

10. griffin mcelroy speaking to A Teen: “it’s good ta go, boi”

11. just in general this episode was the first thing to make me feel alive in months and btw for ppl wondering if it holds up with folks who aren’t familiar with mbmbam i sent it to 3 of my heretofore uninitiated friends and they all loved it and want more and also have gone and followed the ranchos facebook page as well, completely unprompted

Reylo/Kylo’s Redemption/Rey is not a Skywalker Evidence Masterlist

A/N: I just wanted to create a masterlist of evidence I’ve collected and seen others collect about Reylo, Kylo’s possible redemption and debunking Rey Skywalker. This is mostly for me, I wanted a clean space where I could archive it. If you have any evidence to add to any of these theories then feel free to message me!

Added 5/22/17: TFA concept art sections for Reylo and Kylo’s redemption

Added 6/2/2017: More Pablo tweets for Rey is not a Skywalker (thanks to ahellbornlady!)

Added 6/11/2017: Matt Martin tweets for Rey is not a Skywalker 

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Ballad Of An Introvert


There are so many moments that I can’t share with others.
There are so many feelings, familiar smells and unique colours
only I seem to feel, smell and see,
through which I feel like being me.

There are so many seconds that seem to last for hours,
there are so many thoughts that are only mine, not ours
and that I cherish like my new born child
and in my head they’re running wild.

There are so many winter nights I feel the warmth inside of me.
There are so many candles lit while I blow on my tea.
And when it is so silent, that I can hear my heartbeat,
I feel at ease and time just tastes so sweet.

There are so many fears, so many worries and much pain
that I can’t quite work out, can’t quite explain.
But all that is fine in the end, when I can just be with myself,
don’t ask if I’m alright alone, I know I won’t need someone else.

There are so many jokes and talks I have with only me.
This is a good thing in my eyes, liking yourself that is the key.
Sharing secrets with myself? I’m sure I won’t tell them.
Because I trust myself and forgive me for mistakes over and again.

There are so many beautiful things; if just a smile, that is enough
that make me happy to live to see them, even when my day is tough.
And I feel like an audience, the world is this small movie theatre
across the street where they have just the special films, which are all the greater.

And when I then come home, I change in my pyjamas,
cuddle my pets, hide in my bed where there is never drama.
My favourite books and TV shows, my music and delicious food
is all I need then for my heart to feel way more than good.

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Potter has done too much for me for me to ever want to shit all over it. I’m never going to say: ‘Don’t ask me questions about that’. I remember reading an interview with Robert Smith from The Cure. Somebody said to him: ‘Why do you still wear all that makeup, don’t you feel a bit past it?’ And he said: ‘There are still 14-year-olds coming to see The Cure for the first time, dressed like that. I’d never want to make them feel silly.’ It’s a similar thing with Potter. People are still discovering those books and films. It would be awful for them to find out the people involved had turned their backs on it. Though sometimes, people do come up and say ‘I loved you in The Woman in Black,’ which is really sweet. That’s them knowing that it matters to me that I’ve done other stuff.

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Urban Double Exposures By: Louis Dazy

  • Camera: Nikon F2
  • Films: Cinestill 800, Kodak Portra 400, Kodak Portra 800, Lomography Color Film 400, Expired Kodak Gold 400

Louis Dazy on shooting film and this series:

“I started shooting photos a little bit more than 2 years ago, I started with film and stuck to it, my first double exposure was done by accident, I enjoyed the outcome so much that I started to shoot more and more double exposures because it’s awesome to have two sides of a story on just one frame. I’m always portraying my closest friends the only reason I shoot photos is that I wanna make memories, I want to have photos to look at when I’m older and just remember things I may have forgot about. I never plan anything when I shoot, probably because I always carry my camera with me so I don’t have to, when I come across something interesting I just shoot it regardless of time, weather, people, etc. I just really focus on the moment and what I feel.”

Find and Follow Louis Dazy:

What Makes the Feminism in Wonder Woman Special

There’s a ton of reasons why Wonder Woman (2017) is such a victorious movie for feminism. But one of the biggest reasons I saw for that was the fact that it was not “in your face”. Let me explain.

I went to see the movie with my husband who supports feminism and equality. After leaving the film he thoughtfully pointed out, “That didn’t feel like a super feminist movie”. To translate what he meant by this, he was pointing out the way the movie never specifically addressed feminist views. There were plenty of opportunities in the film for the message to be directly delivered, but those moments were “ignored” in a sense.

A perfect example would be the many moments when the war generals in London kept exclaiming indignantly, “Who IS this woman!?” when Diana would butt in on their meetings. This is the perfect time for Diana to shut them down in some fashion - but she does so in a very indirect way. A lot of times the focus would be on shutting down the sexism by outshining the men at their own game followed by some shot highlighting their shock. The director chose not to focus on the shutting down of the sexism - it was present but not highlighted. Diana didn’t have to prove she was awesome - she simply was, and the men were forced to let her participate because they needed her.

This is a different but powerful approach to shutting down sexism. In other movies, men are usually humiliated in some fashion by being directly confronted with the absurdity of their sexism. An example would be Natasha Romanoff (The Black Widow) quickly and efficiently taking down a guy in the wrestling ring who is underestimating her fighting abilities because she’s a woman. This is a small demonstration of “the fight” against sexism often found in female-empowering movies.

The difference with Wonder Woman is that “the fight” to prove that she is worthy of respect is glossed over. There is no proving that she is powerful - she just is. There is no male humiliation (except for when she shames one general for treating his soldiers like expendable pawns, but that is unrelated to sexism). Some men begrudgingly accept her help. Others are amazed and admire her. Her very existence is an example of how women should exist in the world. She behaves as though people will respect her, and when they don’t she in undaunted. She walks with assuredness and purpose. She doesn’t have to physically dismantle the patriarchy. Rather by simply being who she is, she sets the standard for what normal should be. When she wears modern London women’s clothes she chooses an outfit that she thinks is practical. She won’t let the often impractical women’s fashion hold her back from what she finds important. She speaks truth where she sees folly in the general’s negotiations. When told “she can’t”, she does anyways. And all this is never with a smirk or some focus on the victory of “doing this anyways”. It’s not about the fight and victory - it’s about setting a new standard for equality through example.

That’s why Wonder Woman is such a shining example of feminism in movies. The goal of feminism is to integrate equality into everyday society. It’s not about fighting and it’s not about tearing men down. Wonder Woman accomplishes this normalization in a stunning and inspiring way. The men that would belittle her are disregarded. The men that partner with her are treated with mutual respect. It’s beautiful to behold.

My husband said Wonder Woman didn’t feel overtly feminist, and he was right in a way. The usual message in feminist movies is to prove that women are powerful and deserve equal treatment. But in Wonder Woman, the female-empowerment is ever-present yet on the back burner. Wonder Woman is beyond the fight for equality. There are other themes the movie chooses to address instead, such as the darkness inside every individual. That’s why I love it - women are powerful, but in this movie that is made normal.

I want to point out that there should be a huge trigger warning for rape/sexual assault for the last 20 minutes of A Cure For Wellness like it’s really disturbing and is honestly just gross so I just want to make it known for people who really have issues with that. Feel free to reblog and add other notes about the movie

So, I just got home from seeing Wonder Woman.

And let me tell you… actually I can’t, I’m fucking speechless. I love all things superhero, regardless of which company makes them, and I am dead serious when I say that I think WW has possibly surpassed CA:TWS as my favourite movie in the hero genre.

Everything about it was incredible. I continually got goosebumps throughout the entire first half of the movie and I cried at the end. I had the highest of hopes for WW and it exceeded them. I was expecting to love it, even if it wasn’t as good as I’d hoped, because it is a huge step for comic book movies, and female superheroes, and the fact it was an amazing movie made that all the sweeter.

But, I did not expect to be as deeply affected by the movie as I was/am. I’m not an emotional person, but when Diana stepped onto No Mans Land, in full costume, and transformed into Wonder Woman, I teared up. My eyes were glued to the screen, a huge smile plastered on my face, and tears welling in my eyes. My heart swelled as I watched a strong, independent, kind, beautiful female become the hero.

I’ve been a die hard superhero fan since I was around 7 or 8 years old (14-15 years ago) and I hadn’t even realised how badly I yearned from this kind of female empowerment. It makes me emotional just to think about how much WW means to me now.

So thank you, DC for green lighting this movie. Thank you Gal Gadot for doing a flawless job at portraying Diana. Thank you Patty Jenkins for having the passion to put Diana on the big screen in a way that changed my (and I’m sure a lot of other people’s) life. And (arguably most importantly) thank you Allan Heinberg for writing Diana in a way that isn’t sexist or offensive or written for the male gaze, but writing her true to character, and a character everyone can relate to and wholesomely enjoy.

Thank you to everyone involved with the making of this masterpiece, for understanding how much the world, and I, needed this film before we knew we needed it ourselves.

Ok let’s talk about Liam.  You wanna talk about Liam?  I wanna talk about Liam.

He was so on in the interviews from today.  Of course there’s always an element of reading into things with this, but I think he was throwing shade left and right and it was glorious.

1) He wore a bright yellow jacket (Zayn’s color) with a Batman necklace (Batman having been used to represent Zayn in past hints, skip to 6 in the link) on the day two of his interviews came out that mentioned Zayn, one of which was definitely filmed today based on the clothing.  One of his other interviews today was also at Z100.

2) When his Batman necklace came up in discussion, there was a point where he said that “he comes around with me sometimes” and then a part I can’t hear clearly.  Anyway, it might be my imagination, but something about his tone and the emphasis he used makes me think he was talking about Zayn.  He’s never worn that necklace before, so saying “sometimes”  doesn’t quite fit, does it?  That, among other things, just gives me a feeling.

3) Liam replied to @natyamity today on Twitter for the lovely modification of Liam’s new Twitter emoji.  She’s one of the members of TheZiamNews on Twitter.  While him interacting with her isn’t a first, it definitely fits with the Ziam theme today in particular.

4) When Liam was telling the TS story, he mentioned himself being there and Harry and Niall, but then he said, “Where was Louis?” with this playful-but-really-meaningful-in-a-shady-way tone.  I mean, if she’s anywhere nearby, you and I and Liam all know that Louis is going to be as far away as possible.

5) The quote they’re using about the hiatus makes it sound like Liam is uncertain of a reunion, but then in a different interview today he specifically emphasized how it’s a “HIATUS” and tells the interviewers, “it’s not a case of breaking free because it’s a hiatus, just remember”.  Clearly nothing has changed from what the boys originally told us even though the official narrative is trying pretty hard right now to slowly and subtly make fans lose faith.

6) He put 5 colored hearts as emoji on the pic on Instagram.  This one is hard to say for sure, but someone (maybe Liam) chose to specifically put 5 heart emoji on the picture.  I’m saying OT5 since today’s already a shady day.

So yeah, basically, Liam has been glorious in interviews ever since this round of promo started (despite unfortunate official narrative circumstances) and he turned the shade up to high today.  It was awesome.  That is all.

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J-14 All Access behind the scenes of Spider-Man: Homecoming

Spidey Stunts

Tom Holland plays a young Peter Parker who’s just settling into his role as Spider-Man. In the Movie, we’ll watch him struggle to balance his every day life with his desire to prove his crime-fighting skills, so of course, Tom got to do lots of cool stunts, like you see on the left. “I had to jump off this 35-foot platform,” he reveales only to J-14. Wow! And Tom will never forget filming the scene below because of of one very special visitor. “It was the day Granny Tess came to visit me on set,” he dishes. “She was so happy to see her grandson doing his thang!” Aww!

Real Chemistry

Laura Harrier plays Peter’s love interest, Liz Allen. “Tom is so funny and charming,” she gushes. “"It made it really easy and natural to create the chemistry between Liz and Peter!”

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beginner’s guide to horror movies

Okay, so you’ve seen a few scary movies and enjoyed them, and now you’re looking to expand your horror prowess. Maybe you’ve been reading/listening to a lot of creepypasta, and you feel like you’re ready to take the plunge. Or maybe you just have a feeling that you’d like horror, but have no idea where to start. 

I’ve been a huge fan of all things creepy and scary for years. I was just reading an article called, “Horror Gems You Haven’t Seen Yet” and realized that I actually had seen almost every film on the list, so I guess that makes me an expert. So, my new baby horror fans, allow me to introduce you to the genre.


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