this fandom does have its moments

Holby City + Emotional Abuse

So setting aside the #berena for a moment. I see that Holby city is presenting two different angles on same-sex couples. Berena has its issues but it’s generally a positive, loving couple of AAU Mums. On the other hand, Dom/Issac are clearly unhealthy. Unfortunately, this is a bit of a trope. Women=nutures, Men = abuse. (Sadface) but I think the show can teach something…

So…I know I have brought this up before but I’m stuck on this. So… the fandom, like now realizes that what Issac does to Dom is in fact straight up emotional abuse right?  It’s like they’re checking off the list;

Issac demanding that Dominic move in with him without any real consideration for Dom’s feelings = Control and manipulation.

Issac hiding Authur’s medal just to see Dom get upset then tell him he’s silly for being so upset.  =  Gaslighting.

Issac disrespecting Authur’s memory, generally mocking Dominic’s friendship and feeling for Authur = isolation, and humiliation.

Issac Making Dominic jump through hoops to apply for that promotion, knowing all the while he was never actually going to hire him  = Control and manipulation.

The reversal of blame, ‘yeah I treated you like shit because I love you’, and now we have evidence of a “huge fight” wherein Dom thought they had broken up because “You said horrible things to me” and Issac gave Dome the silent treatment OVER CHRISTMAS = Verbal Abuse followed by shutting out, silent treatment, with no apologies and reversal of blame and then more gaslighting blaming Dom for his own mistreatment and being too sensitive. Bullshit.

Holby Fans, This is a textbook emotional abuse.  I appreciate that the show is exploring this and showing how it doesn’t often appear right out of the gate. It evolves over time in a relationship. I appreciate that it shows how these types of situations occur. Dominic isn’t perfect, he’s flawed and he’s insecure in his own way. Nobody is perfect. We all have our messes. Our mistakes. Our flaws. An abuser uses our insecurities, our perfectly human flaws and needs against us. It doesn’t make itself apparent on day one, there are reasons we choose to stay with an abuser. Reasons we don’t see it at first. Reasons we blame ourselves. And often when we fight back we accept their blame for being ‘just as bad’ That doesn’t make it right and it doesn’t excuse the abusive behavior.

I think it’s also important to note that GLBT relationships have a harder time discussing this because we do desperately cling to our friends and media couple as role models. We lack representation so much we want to ignore when things are ugly. We joke and blow off dysfunction as “dyke drama” or “gay drama” and we disrespect our friends’ relationships in little ways all the time. There is still a thread- woven from generations of internal/external homophobia—  within our own community that doesn’t believe we deserve good, positive, LOVE.  When we fight with our lovers, do we have family or friend-models to talk about what’s normal and what’s not? Often we don’t. So we HIDE it. We deny it. We try to figure it out ourselves.  

Friends. DON’T hide it. If you see anything in this Dom/Issac relationship that mirrors your own relationship — consider it carefully. Talk to someone. Use your resources. Find positive healthy support. DO NOT ISOLATE.

Love does not manipulate, control, blame, or make you feel small.

Love listens. Love lifts you up. You deserve better.

Its official…

Girl meets world has ended.

So what does this mean?

Are all the fanfics over?

Are tumblr blogs going to stop blogging about it?

What is going to happen?

We ALL owe the cast and crew and every single person that stepped on that set a HUGE Thank You.

We are a family. No matter who we ship. We have all been through bad places with this fandom. But we are a family.

We will always remember the beautiful moments from the show, and from behind the scenes.

Never forget the friends we have made because of this.

The Girl Meets World fandom will NEVER die out.

Thank You for the memories,

The Girl Meets World fandom.

anonymous asked:

I'm so, so angry at the people who throw NaLu all over the place. Every single idiotic moment is seen as ship moment. The fandom is the main reason why I hate interaction between these two now, because they could literally stand next to each other and my dash will be full of 'look at how much these two trust each other'. Reason why I unfollowed so many people. Have these people never heard of friendship?

Given that I heard about a NaLu fanfiction with the tagline, ‘does a male and female friendship really exist’? I would hazard a guess that the answer is no. That, or someone accidentally made excellent commentary on how Fairy Tail’s writing and its fandom perceives any male and female being in moderate proximity.

Everyone in the Lucaya fandom listen to me.

Stop freaking out over the possibility of Lucas choosing Riley in Triangle.

This is GOOD for us.

Look, this fandom doesn’t want Lucaya getting together without Riley and Lucas being completely resolved. It doesn’t make sense and so not fair on Maya also.

Lucas choosing Riley doesn’t mean he doesn’t like Maya, not at all. But you have to realize that he does like Riley also. It is possible to like two people at the same time. It’s just sometimes its hard to see who is the person you REALLY want to be with. Riley is someone who Lucas already shares a lot of intimate (as intimate as on gets at that age) moments with. It’s kinda the obvious choice for Lucas to go back to Riley; they have unfinished business.

This gives Maya the chance to work on her feelings for Josh. Which we know is coming because the writers have confirmed Josh is going to be on more and I’m pretty sure Upstate will be a Joshaya heavy episode. And we will also be able to see Lucas’s reaction to Maya being with someone else.

These two relationships are preparing Maya and Lucas for each other. Like Angela said? Letting what they have prepare them for the next. Riley will soon come to realize that she only sees Lucas as the boy she fell ‘in love’ with when falling into his lap, the boy who carried her off on a horse; she’s doesn’t see the bigger picture; she sees the fairytale and she’ll realize that. Maya is going to realize that she only liked the idea of being with Josh, and that she also associated being with Josh as officially joining the Matthews family. And Lucas will realize that Maya is the only person who see him for who he really is, the person who challenges him and accepts him whole heatedly and the person he hates seeing with someone else.

This ship is a ride, a tortuously slow burning one, but there is a reason why we never got an actual kiss, a reason why Lucas and Maya have never been officially together. It’s coming; just later on but when it does, it will be for good.

While I love every second of Ominous and I’m glad the rest of the fandom does too, I’m a bit disturbed at the drubbing people have been giving their last few albums. Okay, Division isn’t my favorite either, but even it had its moments, and I loved Toxic and Beautiful Deformity. Everything the guys have put out has at least some merit - if they really had put out nothing but junk since DIM, they wouldn’t still be on top of the very competitive VK heap.