Do you have any hcs about how exactly Vilde realizes that she is a lesbian? Or do you hc her as bi?
yes!!! i 100% believe vilde is the biggest Lesbian to ever lesbian nd i’m always down for talking about it:
- so i love my baby vilde but she can definitely be a bit clueless sometimes and i think it takes her a long time to sort out all her confusing feelings towards girls
- she barely had any exposure to lgbt people growing up and she doesn’t really know what it means to be gay until she starts meeting /actual/ lgbt people
- and shes never thought too much about her lack of attraction to guys, just brushed it off as not being mature enough or ready for a relationship, thinking ‘surely i’ll start to develop those feelings soon enough’
- but they never?? come?? and all her friends start to hook up with guys so she does too but the feelings just don’t arise, she feels nothing but vague discomfort when she kisses guys and she hates being touched by them, it makes her feel icky. and shes so angry with herself for not being able to feel what her friends feel when they hook up, she thinks shes not trying hard enough
- and then eva kisses her for the first time at that party and she finally /feels/ something and its a m a z i n g. it just feels so right and she never wants it to stop and she finally understands what you’re meant to feel when you hook up and why people do it in the first place
- she brushes these feelings off and tries not to think about it. they were both really drunk (even though she’d only had one glass of wine…) and it didn’t mean anything?? right??
- but she can’t get that kiss out of her head. she’s constantly thinking about eva, the feel of her lips, how good it felt to have her arms wrapped around her waist, how sweet she smelled
- and it happens again. and again. and again. and it’s always at parties, and vilde tells herself it’s just the alcohol talking, but she starts to catch herself staring at eva at school and when they hang out together, and just wanting to kiss her again (even though she’s sober??)
- so she hooks up with a couple of guys but it just doesn’t feel the same, and she tries to have sex with magnus at the christmas party but it just doesn’t feel right and she can’t go through with it
- she thinks maybe its just eva she has these feelings for… but she catches herself staring at other girls, girls she’s never even met before, just bc she’s mesmerised by their long legs or the way their hair ripples down their back and she just thinks: ??? what does this all mean ??
- she starts to do some research on being lesbian (even though it takes her 20 mins to actually type that word into the google search bar, and she has to do it in incognito because she can barely admit her own suspicions to herself)
- she starts to identify a couple more of her feelings through researching, and she learns about ‘compulsory heterosexuality’ which actually kind of… applies to her perfectly?? for some reason
- and ad she learns more and more, she realises how natural and normal feelings towards other girls can be, and she starts to think that ‘lesbian’ is not some big scary label, but an identity that she kind of connects with
- basically its a long, slow process but over time she sorts out her feelings and admits to herself that she just really fuckin likes girls, and thats ok