this ended up looking like shit ugh

BTS BOYFRIEND- Namjoon Edition

I looked at the masterlist and our inbox and realised that Namjoon is the only one we haven’t made a ‘boyfriend’ post about. So here we go :):)

Originally posted by beuits

- LOTS AND LOTS OF CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE MEANING OF LIFE. You’re not gonna have a boyfriend who has the IQ of 148 and do nothing

-He would take you EVERYWHERE WITH HIM. Whether that is: Dance practice, concerts, shopping, to meet him mum etc etc

- - You’d wake up to him having the whole duvet to himself and then you start to contemplate whether you or him should just get another bed

- Randmom outbursts of love. This includes flowers, little gifts and even taking you to your favourite restaurant after work

- Sometimes on the weekend, he would force you to have dance battles with him. He only does it to make a fool of himself and make you happy

- HOW YALL MET: You two were at the same restaurant waiting to get a takeaway and the waiter messed both of your orders up. You then spend the next 10 minutes just complaining about bad service and then somehow end up talking about the latest movies. 

- He alwaYS takes you to dance practice. He shows you off to the rest of the gang and boasts to Jungkook how he got a girlfriend first

- RETURN OF THE SEWEED DANCE

- Would probably end up breaking half the things he buys for you

-You will have a rare jin pop out of no where when Namjoon isn’t around….’You better look after my baby, otherwise you will feel the wrath of my bad jokes’

- He would ALWAYS WALWAYS ALLWWWWAAAAYS compliment you on your figure. Always using words you don’t know the meaning of 

EXPECTATION

Originally posted by namjoonsgurl

Originally posted by bangtangirl-cutennes-v

REALITY

Originally posted by joonie-bts

Originally posted by bangtaninspired

- It may be a little awkward at first BUT ONCE YOU GET THE BALL ROLLINNNGG…OH BOOIII

- - Random winks from across the table

- He is a realllyyYYYY KINKY GUY. WHICH BRINGS ME ONTO NAMJOON IN BED

- DADDY AS FUCK UGH

- SHIT TONNES AND TONNES OF FOREPLAY. Sometimes he does foreplay and fucks off, cos he knows how to leave you wanting for more

- DOMINANT COS HE KNOWS WHATS BEST AND KNOWS HOW TO DO U RIGHT

-LOTS and Lots OF NECK BITES AND KISSES. Don’t be surprised when you’reDon’t be surprised when you end up going to wrok the next morning with your neck looking bruised as fuck


ALSO PLEASE APPRECIATE HIS BEAUTIFUL IN-PROPORTION BODY BECAUSE IF U DONT….IM GONNA-

Hope yall liked this…lots of people asked for this in our ask/inbox so hopefully this fULLFILLS YOUR NEEDDSS!!!!. BYFRIEND- BTS EDITION….OFFICIALLY TICKED OFF OF THE LIST. 

~~Much Love…Admin Marzipants x

The Chemistry of Love

Pt 1

SummaryThere is a chemical formula for LOVE: C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2 Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin, which can cause schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, and insanity. 

You didn’t want to feel love, you hated it and you weren’t gonna overdose on it, because to love means to expose oneself, means to be weak. And you didn’t want to be weak; you didn’t want to be weak anymore.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader 

Genre: Angst/Smut/fluff 


A/N: Just right out of the oven, I don’t know If I will continue it but I wanted to give it a try, just tell me what you think about it :) 

Inspired by the picture below lol. 

Sorry if I have any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language 



It was a sunny Friday day of spring as you walked through campus to get to your first class, you loved spring; air turning warmer, nature starting to grow, days becoming longer… but what you hated about it was seeing the “lovely” couples making out in front of everyone, couldn’t they just do that inside closed doors? Losers, they don’t know is just chemicals in their brains you thought to yourself, one day or another one of them is gonna end up with a broken heart because of some shit the other did, telling the other that it didn’t feel the same anymore instead of telling that he/she was fucking someone else. Love didn’t exist.

Your father left your mother when you were just a baby; It destroyed her in ways you can’t even explain. When you are little people tell you that if a boy treats you wrong it because he likes you, so you grow up with this conception in your mind and when you are older you find yourself crying over some fuckboy who threw you in the trash the moment he got what he wanted. And this circle would repeat itself again and again.  You start to feel the need of physical and emotional affection so you run to the first man who will provide you that, the thing is that they only provide you the physical part, you have fun for a while until you start to feel empty again and when you began to ask for some emotional affection they guy runs away. And that is was what happened to your mother endless of times.

You didn’t have a romantic loving relationship you could look up to when you were younger so when you were just a kid you dreamed about finding someone to love and be loved back like it happened in the movies but with the years that dream began to vanish until the point you didn’t believe in love anymore. For you it were just chemicals in your brain, you didn’t want to admit it but you hated the idea of becoming someone like your mother, a clingy sad person who couldn’t live without a man by her side.

You felt bad for thinking that way but the moment you were able to take off from home you didn’t even though about it. You loved your mother but you despised seeing her fall for some man and then end up drunk, crying all over the floor. You tried to help her several times but it just didn’t work, what made her happy was being with a man, not being with you.

With time and experiences you formed the idea that certain people could never be loved. It just is not their destiny; they are not made for that. And you were one of those people.  You’ve always totally refused to believe that it was important, you always tried to convince yourself that it didn’t matter, that one can be happy being alone, that there are just people who are born for that and other people who are not and you were one of the latter. But at the same time, deep down, you hoped that someday it would change.  It’s like everything and everyone around us says that love is the greatest prize that someone can have in this life, as the most beautiful feeling that one can ever feel. But what if … there are people who are not destined for that? What if, you are a person who will never feel that? It annoyed you and terrified you to your bones to think that the only thing that makes us humans feel fully and purely happy is love.

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anonymous asked:

Can you do a super daddy!kink namjoon fanfic pls! Like the reader (gf) didn't text him or some shit like that so he doesn't touch or anything to punish her But she ends up masturbating to porn and he catches her "punishes" her ( ^^ sorry)

This rude fucker here like just ugh. ugh. HERE YA GOOOO ANON

~~~~~

Namjoon pursued his lips looking at his phone for what seemed like the hundred time that day. You were suppose to call him, text him, any fucking thing to let him know when you had arrived to your friends house. You told him you were going for a girls night out. Which he understood he couldn’t expect you to always be under him in the house 24/7 but what he didn’t expect was you to completely ignore him and not tell him anything. What if you were hurt? Dead? He knew he was overreacting a little bit but he set rules for a reason and he knew that you had guy friends who were going to be there. He trusted you but not them, and he would kill anyone that put hands on what belonged to him.  With a frustrated huff Namjoon went to his room slamming the door shut laying to sleep. 

~~

As soon as the door opened he was on the couch waiting for you to come into the front room. You stilled a bit dropping your bags on the floor smiling widely as if nothing was wrong. “Hi daddy!” 

“Shut up.” He growled eyes dark, bags under his eyes and you frowned wondering why he was being so harsh.

“What’s your problem?!” You asked him walking towards him slowly.

“My problem?!” He growled standing up towering over you. “You were supposed to fucking call me last night! And you didn’t you didn’t say shit nor inform me! I thought I could sleep but all I could do is think of my baby girl and what she was doing. So don’t come in here asking my damn problem when you disobeyed my rules. I do not ask for much, just a little but if it is too much for you then pack your shit and leave because I refuse to have someone who can’t even fucking follow directions.” Namjoon snarled, his veins popping out of his neck as he stormed to the room. His words hurt you, made your eyes water as tears feel down your cheeks. You didn’t mean to not follow orders, you were just having fun and you forgot and when you remembered you figured he was sleeping. Tired and groggy you grabbed your stuff going to your room, knowing he didn’t want to be bothered with you.

~

For a month it was complete hell, Namjoon had forgiven you but he was still pissed at you. He didn’t even let you kiss him for too long before he was walking away from you. You hated it, you were beyond sexually frustrated and you felt your pussy getting tighter with each passing day. Namjoon did shit on purpose too, just to piss you off. Walking around without a shirt. Letting his pants hang low on his waist as he sat beside you. And you heard him at night not even needing porn, but playing the tapes of you two fucking jerking himself off hard until he was ruining his sheets.

One day, while he was gone you sneaked into his room finding the sex tapes between the two of you, already being naked from taken a shower as you laid on the bed spreading your legs. You had gotten a rotating dildo to help you relieve yourself shoving it deep inside of your pussy to stretch you back out as the scenes on the screen in front of you showed Namjoon pounding into you against the wall. The way his hips lifted you up and down always did wonders, because he knew to spots to hit to get you wound up. Your mind wandered as you licked your lips thrusting the toy in and out of yourself faster, your release becoming much closer since it had been so long since you had anything. It was easier for you to cum. Almost, you were /almost/ there. 

“Having fun baby girl?” You damn near jumped out of your skin, with widen eyes looking towards the door. Namjoon wore a dark expression, shirt and pants already shed as he leaned against the door frame. He watched you eyes raking every where as he tsked to himself shaking his head. And you could slowly feel your orgasm dying down. 

“I suppose it’s been long enough, but you knew not to fucking play with yourself with me. Always breaking rules. I guess I can punish and fuck you.” Namjoon smirked to himself, watching as you laid still for him. He went and grabbed a pair of handcuffs lifting your hands above your head flipping you on your stomach. He leaned over you moaning in your ear as he grabbed the toy pushing it in and out of your pussy in a fast motion the wet sounds of the toy fucking you causing his erection to harden and precum to streak against his boxers. Fuck he missed you, and the way you moaned and shook under him made him want to tear you apart. As soon as your back arched he was yanking to toy from you sucking off your juices watching as you protested from not cumming. 

“Y/n I bet you’ll obey me next time.” He warned before going to his closet. He got out a few things before walking downstairs and coming back to place a bucket of ice on his night stand with a water bottle on top of it. He grabbed it pressing it against your pulse point to let your orgasm and arousal die down. After a few minutes he was taking it from you to place it back on ice before he grabbed a sleek purple vibrator to turn it on the lowest setting. He slipped it inside of your pussy as well as lubing up some weighted balls that were big slipping one inside of your ass letting the other hang. “You know how this goes, if you don’t squeeze around this and hold it in, it’ll fall out. Hold it in or I will not let you cum, for the next two months.” He threatened before getting off the bed grabbing his belt from his pants on the ground. 

You were in complete hell, your body trembled, your nipples were hard and to perky from how he was treating you. You felt so full with the weighted items inside of you, and you had to squeeze around both but it caused the vibrator to slip deeper inside of your pussy pressing against your spot, to make matters worse Namjoon came up behind you to spread your legs on the bed the only thing holding your upper body was the damn handcuffs and they dug into your skin from how hard you tugged to have them off. But it was all in vain, he was in control and he loved every bit of it. 

Namjoon gripped his belt, and started to give you hits to the ass and you didn’t need him to tell you what else to do. “One.. Two!” You started to count out as he spanked you with his belt, causing your ass to feel on fire as he created whelps on your ass from the belt. He watched your ass jiggle groaning as he leaned down to turn the settings on high one hand coming up to play with your breast as the other spanked your ass, he made each hit harder and made sure to angle his wrist different ways so that he didn’t mark just one spot. He looked down at your body trembling under him, your juices slipping onto the bed as your eyes brimmed with tears. 

“Aww baby.. Don’t cry..” He feigned concerned as he pulled away from you. Namjoon opened a bottle of alcohol and after go a silver bullet pressing it on your clit causing more stimulation to your already throbbing pussy as he poured the alcohol onto the whelps causing screams of pain to fill the room, he watched the lines from his hits outline your skin in a frenzy of designs and he smirked proud of his works. “Almost.” He called out before he took the bullet from your clit and he turned the vibrator off but left it inside of you. 

He went into the bathroom and grabbed a candle from under the counter before he grabbed a lighter letting it get hot walking back to you, Your body was going limp and he knew soon, your knees would give out. He sat the candle down before he slid the weighted ball from your ass only to replace it with a crystal clear butt plug that was way thicker than the balls. Another scream ripped from your throat and he spread your legs even wider going under to pull the small vibrator from your pussy using his tongue to flick and suck up the wetness from your sensitive pussy. He pulled back licking his lips before he got out another dildo with a butterfly on it. He pressed it into you, letting it turn on to fuck your insides while the butterfly bobbed up and down against your clit to tickle it. 

“FUCKING HELL PLEASE! I’M SORRY NAMJOON! IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN!” You sobbed weakly. He kept building you up to tear you down and you couldn’t handle the tug of war with him. You were a mess crying and shaking only wanting a release and your pussy was so sensitive anything near it set you off. You looked at him watching that shit eating grin appear on his face as he grabbed the wax. 

“You’ll behave from now on. I’m sure.” He purred letting the wax fall on your back. Your cries fueled him, it brought the monster out of him, and made him want to own you. He first let it fall down both of your legs and traced wax on your arms, before he was spelling his first and last name down your back using almost all of the candles. He watched as you shook with pain and pleasure under him setting the candle down and blowing it out. He let the wax cool letting his finger press the butterfly hard against your pussy before he pulled away making sure it was cool before he grabbed a whip that he had under his bed. He brought it up against your legs first, breaking the wax there up causing more whimpers to fill his ears, he was too far gone now not even worrying if he was going overboard or not. 

He let all of the wax break and fall from your skin before he went to your arms to break the wax there. Lastly he was at your back whipping you painting your skin with more pretty marks and finally you gave in falling against the bed as your knees gave out. He hummed surprised with his work finishing cracking the wax. He next grabbed ice tracing it over your wounds to soothe them and hear more cries from you. 

You closed your eyes, trying to hold on a bit more, but the mixing of the pain and pleasure as well as the heat had you about to pass out. He was ruining you, your tears soaked the sheets, your orgasm was back at full blast wanting to release and as you expected he cut the dildo pulling it from you but still you hoped that he would let you cum. It was in vain. Always. He shoved the dildo in your mouth watching you choke as he face fucked you pulling the butt plug from your ass slowly. He lifted your hips before shoving his boxers down to his knees grinding his dick up and down your sore slit. You were done, your limbs were jelly, he had to hold you up because you were too weak. 

Namjoon slammed into you, filling you up in one go. He didn’t even let you adjust since you had, had so many toys inside of you he felt you were stretched enough. He started to relentlessly plow into your pussy pushing his hips hard against yours with brutal force as if he was seeing if he could break you. His name mixed with daddy fell from your lips and he loved it, hearing the weakness there how you gave into him. It made him pulse inside your pussy. He knew you were close but like a good girl you would hold out for him. So he gripped your hair tangling his fingers into the strands to yank your head back crashing his lips against yours in a sloppy and rough manner. 

His free hand moving to rub your clit as he let you fall back against the mattress his hips fucking yours into the bed. He pinned you under him with his hips, grinding his at a fast pace to keep the drill going wanting you to release. His tongue shoved down your throat while he let you taste the faint remains of yourself on his tongue. Namjoon growled feeling you squeeze around him, your clit was throbbing, he felt your orgasm clenching into your stomach. 

You writhed under him against the sheets trying to keep up with his kisses. Your mind was blank and the only think you chanted was yes and more. You spread your weak legs wider as they started to tingle, your orgasm starting a slow fire inside of you. 

“Cum baby. Soak my dick.” Namjoon grunted as he pulled away from your lips to moan against your ear. He licked the shell of your ear biting and nipping on it before he went to your neck sucking on his mark on your skin as you nodded giving into him. 

“DADDY!” Was all you had the strength to scream out as your orgasm took over your limbs. You cummed on his dick not even arching your back but dropping your head forward in tiredness. Namjoon continued fucking you like a rag doll grunting and growling until he was cumming inside of your pussy stilling his hips. He shuddered as he released long thick ropes inside of you making sure it was all out before he slowly pulled out. Namjoon uncuffed you after awhile seeing that you couldn’t even keep your eyes open. 

In a blur you watched things as Namjoon cleaned up the space around you, you heard the running of water, the smelling of lavender and then you felt the water on your skin as you were getting cleaned. You could barely keep your eyes open and everything screamed, every limb burned but you let Namjoon take care of you. Once you were clean he dried you off and laid you naked on the bed. You felt his strong rough calloused hands putting cream onto your body and it was to soothe all the markings he had made. The monster was gone and your sweet loving boyfriend was back. Once he was finished he was scooping you up in his arms and you heard the words uttered to your ears only falling asleep after tiredly saying it back. 

“I love you too Joon.”

~~

I need to take my ass to bed, what the fuck did I just write.

you know what pisses me off
the fact that makeup is so ridiculously gendered

i know I’m starting to occasionally pass as male w the people in my course, i know at least a couple of them think I’m a guy
and like
sometimes i wanna wear makeup!!! be sparkly and pretty!!!! but I’m afraid that if i come to class wearing makeup the few people who think I’m a guy will change their minds!!! if i end up getting more masculine looking i wont have this problem bc I’d be more confident that people thought i was a guy, but I’m kinda straddling the line atm and it’s making decisions like this more difficult and basically i hate that this entire worry is based on societal expectations and perception n shit and just

ugh

Pond Life

FANDOM WRITING CHALLENGE | envydean
Prompt: Kiss
Pairing: Destiel
Tags/Warnings: Five and one, homophobic language, ponds, fluff, happy ending, near drowning, hurt/comfort
Summary: Five times Dean and Castiel don’t quite get to kiss and the one time they do.
Word Count: 3,620 

AO3 


ONE – eight years old

Castiel had moved into the blue house across the road four years ago and they’d become fast friends ever since. It was after a time when Dean needed all the friends he could get. Dean didn’t talk to Castiel for months after meeting Castiel but eventually with a lot of help and encouragement from his dad, Dean began to say hello.

They spent all their time together after that and if people thought it was weird, they didn’t care.

One of their friends had asked why they didn’t have a girlfriend, but they had each other – what would they need a girlfriend for? Girls were gross and they had cooties! Plus, everyone’s girlfriends last the best part of a day before they were ditched.

Dean met Cas down by the pond behind Castiel’s house like they always did after school. Dean liked that they were still short enough that their toes didn’t get wet when they sat on the edge of the jetty. They weren’t supposed to be on the jetty in case one of them fell in, but Dean could swim a whole fifty meters unaided so he deemed that good enough.

“Hey, Cas!”

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel turned and he smiled as Dean sat down beside him. But his smile soon turned and Dean frowned.

“What’s the matter, Cas?” Dean asked, nudging Castiel’s elbow with his own.

“Do you think it’s nice to kiss someone?” Castiel asked.

“I dunno. Sammy’s kisses are all wet and gooey. It’s gross!”

“My dad gave me these pictures of my mommy.” Castiel explained sullenly. He handed three pictures over to Dean who flicked through them. One of them was from just last year with Castiel and his mom together at the beach.

“Is this the one you’re on about?” Dean asked, holding up the photo of Cas’ parents kissing as a very young Castiel grinned at the camera.

“Uh huh… do you think it’s nice?”

“My dad says boys should kiss the girls he likes… like your mommy and dad.”

“You can kiss boys you like too!” Cas exclaimed.

“You can?”

Dean handed back the photos and Cas returned them to the small backpack he’d taken with him.

“We should try it,” Cas said.

“Okay, you’re my best friend, Cas, so that works, right?”

“Uh huh.” They turned to face each other, awkwardly wondering how this even worked and if, perhaps, something magical would happen. It always did in the fairy tales they were told.

Just as they got themselves sorted their names were hollered by Cas’ dad. He came closer and took each of them by the hand, taking them away from the edge of the pond.

“I’ve told you boys several times to keep away from the edge of the pond. Castiel – you cannot swim okay.”

“I can!” Dean piped up helpfully.

“Dean… it doesn’t work like that. Yes, you can swim, but you couldn’t get Castiel out of the water. Both me and your dad have told you this. I think it’s best you go home and explain what’s happened.”

Both the boys sighed quietly and Dean kicked the dirt before heading back to his house, only stopping once to turn around and wave goodbye to Cas.

TWO – sixteen years old

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in the down

the absolute turmoil -  yoongi/ofc drabble series
part one

words: 1,558
drama/romance
warnings for mental illness and related mature themes.

go here for more info on this drabble series

Originally posted by dreamyoongi

Swallowing, she accepts the call and hits the speaker button while simultaneously pausing her fourth-in-a-row rerun episode of Project Runway.

“Hey,” she says into the room and the mic of her phone.

“Hey,” Yoongi’s voice comes through the speaker, his deep voice slightly muffled from the terrible phone service she gets. “How are you doing?”

She clears her throat and answers, “Well, I just ate three packets of Annie’s gummy bunnies for dinner, so that probably answers your question.”

“That bad, huh?” he asks. She’s silent, and she hears him sigh over the increasing crackle of a poor-quality phone call. “Mina, I wish you’d talk to me.”

Her laugh comes out strangled and she looks up at the ceiling of her apartment. “I just… I feel like I’ve said everything I can say. At least without repeating myself, you know?”

“I know you – repeating–”

“–Yoongi, I’m sorry, I can’t hear shit again, you know my service is so bad. Text me?”

“No, I hate – about stuff like thi – coming over, okay?”

He either ends the call before she can answer or it drops altogether and Mina lets out an ugh. She contemplates a quick shower before he gets to her place–she’ll have time. She knows for certain he’ll pick up food first, unsatisfied with her sugar-and-gelatin dinner. Her hair is just in need of a wash, and while her face was clean and dewy with what felt like a thirty-step skincare routine, she knew her dark circles were more purpled than usual and her skin-tone was looking a bit on the sallow side.

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Dreamworker Rewatch!

- “this is the first sorta gay episode” says the girlfriend AH YES I REMEMBER Probs the earliest gayish episode

-Gabrielle fighting that tree is me against life #LosingALosingBattle

-This is like the banter in the ‘breast dagger episode’

-Also, this is me in my relationship, “Yes I can, dammit! No you can’t, darling.”

-Lucy is fucking talllllll ; also I heard her accent in “LAST RESORT”

-”The moment you kill…everything changes” HEAVY HANDED FORESHADOWING . .

“This guys fucking teeth man” :GF

-The equally heavy handed feminism I will also accept :)

-Did Gabrielle just do a Xena yell? wtf

-Lowering the Xena theme music notes does not make me un-recognize it; also the creators didn’t care so i’ll shut-up

-The writers could have blown their load just then and have Gabrielle kill someone in the first season, but what a waste that would have been at the very start!

-These new zeland actors and saying “xener” instead of “xena” lol

-I DIDN’T REALIZE THIS STUPID DAHAK/HOPE STORYLINE WENT SO FAR BACK

- GF: “She is really funny in the early episodes.”  
ME: “Gabrielle?” 
*Silence*
“GABRIELLE?!” 
“No baby, Ephiny.” 
Me:  -_________________-

-My girlfriend is Xena. I am Gabrielle. Cue the aggressive eyeroll.

- Gabrielle doesn’t know what she was thinking “MAYBE IT WAS I’LL TRY TO HELP XENA.” Ungrateful bastard Xena is.

-I swear gab just said she was gonna pick up some ‘soft porn’

-lol at this guy being mystic-ist………..I mean mystic..

-“she is such a do-gooder. and a softie” says the GF

-Rene is such a fun actor. Lol at breast digger always being a fun gag.

-LOL at Xena being able to tell Gabrielle is pushing her tits up instantly

-Hmmmm. “it’s not like your breasts aren’t dangerous enough.” meaning she is captivated by Xena’s breasts and/or other people are also captivated???

-time to whoop some ass

- “GABRIELLE?!” said Xena forever.
GF’s fave transition; yelling gabrielle’s name to breaking heads over a lost gabrielle. If my very best friend disappeared in a fight i would not scream her name. I would search for her calmly.

-Damn, what an Actress to play a lesbian into eternity. Lucy is so fine.

-I also don’t know a lick about housework.

-Blood innocence? Like her period

-So many 90′s eyebrows.

- OF COURSE XENA IS THE ONE WHO COMES TO DEFEAT MORPHEUS butthole

-I wonder how long it’d take to get as fine as Lucy Lawless.

-”They took my girlfriend and I’m gonna get her back”

-Stop squishing my arms breh.

-”i’m the one.” The gayest of all time.

-Don’t worry, I’m a gentleman. FUCK YOU and the fact that you have to say that.

-”this dreamscape feels so low budget,” GF.

-These “victims” are boring

-Yawn Yawn let’s get to the xena saving gabrielle part.

-Gabrielle’s dress is so tragic; who knew cold shouldered dresses turned on Xena so much.

-It must be you, cause that was weird AF gab.

-Geebreielle. Nice one Lucy.

-Who doesn’t love these whooshes

-Xena’s internal struggle is too real. This is why she dies in the end >____>

-WAIT shouldn’t Good Xena killing Bad Xena mean she never has to die at the end?!!!!!!

-Xena came to fuck shit up in the name of all things gay

-”I’m impressed,” she says as she ignores her gay tendencies.

-Speaking of your girlfriend? She’s waiting for me.
SAME XENA. Me too.

-The surface of the water metaphor. I became a lesbian, with a stone under there.

-THE LOOK BACK AT THE CALM WATER UGH MY CRIES

a thousand and one//taehyung

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

Friends with Benefits!au | College!au ; 3.4k words of cringe worthy fluff.

“I’ll give you a thousand.”

“A thousand and one.”

“Deal.”

His eyes were the shade of deep brown with specks of honey gold that you could easily get lost into, beneath the bright stripes of city lights splayed over the bed through the window. And those beautiful dark hues were currently looking at you, sending your heart soaring into your throat, making you feel warmer underneath tangled sheets.

“What?” You bit your bottom lip, chuckling from the giddiness but never shying away from his gaze.

He lips curved into the most radiant smile, the sun didn’t even come close in comparison. A set of pearly white teeth blinded your sight as he returned your amused look.

“You know, from this distance you look kinda sorta pretty.” He offhandedly insulted.

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3

“Y/B/F/N you won’t believe what happened. I broke up with him. I caught him cheating on me with that bitch Alexis, like what the actual fuck? He told me it was his cousin when I asked him about her. I’m seriously done with boys. I think I might turn into a lesbian unless I find myself a Chris Evans look alike or Chris Evans in general. Ugh, I hate him.” You blurt out fast and sighed.

There was laughter erupting from the other end of the line but you realized it was a male laughter. You were confused and took a look at the number you had dialed. “Shit, this is the wrong number. Who am I speaking with?” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “This is Chris Evans.” You could hear his smile through his voice. “Haha. Very funny. Prove it. Tweet it.” You challenged him. “Fine.” He said and you could hear his keyboard while he was supposedly typing. “There.” He said. “Go see.” You went to your laptop and onto Chris Evans’s profile on twitter and noticed a tweet that was sent some seconds ago and it said “On the phone with the cutest unknown girl.” Oh my God, he was Chris Evans. “Are you convinced now?” You heard him say. “Pretty convinced.” You said shocked. “How about we meet one day this week, whenever you want, and you tell me all about Alexis? I got out of a pretty bad relationship myself and I need to take it out, so.” Chris Evans just asked you out!!! “Yeah, why not? How about tomorrow at 8 a.m.?” You said. “Sounds good. Text me later about your address. You have my phone.” “Will do.”

Phan: Caught

Based on Louise’s “My Actual OMG AMAZING Birthday” vlog she uploaded on sprinkleofchatter.

Summary: Dan convinces Phil to sneak away during the Youtuber party and snogging ensues. However, they didn’t anticipate Louise and Joe vlogging inside the unisex toilets.

Dan laughed along with his friends as they continued to discuss the recent events of their lives and despite the fun he was having, he could feel his ability to socialise start to gradually deplete. He glanced to his left at Phil, who seemed to be deep in discussion with Joey Graceffa. He found himself being content with simply staring at his best friend and smiling whenever the other let out a laugh or even when he just had a small smile across his face.

Keep reading

Eric x Reader

Words: 1027

Warnings: Swearing, blood, fighting, sassy reader, barely any romance(subtext?), some ooc Eric i think

Note: pretty sure there’s a second or even third part to this somewhere on one of my computers or USBs. Just have to find them. Oh well, hope you like this fam ^^

-

I could feel my eye swelling up, I could feel the bruise forming on top of my cheekbone. Was I trying to act like it was nothing? Yes. Was it working? Definitely not. Jen and Ash could see it. Well, anyone with eyes around the table could, really. I had been up against Drew in a fight and even though I had won, he had been able to throw some pretty bad punches at my face.

“(Y/n), are you sure you don’t want to go check that at the infirmary?” Ash laughed, putting his hand on my shoulder. Ash and I had been friends way back in Candor too, so he was obviously my oldest friends in that room. We had known each other for over ten years.

“Yeah your face looks like shit” Jen grinned cheekily, her mouth stuffed with food. I rolled my eyes at my other friend’s comment taking my own bite of the food. Jen and I had met here, and honestly she was hilarious.

“I look hot and you know it” I smirked ignoring the pain I felt while changing my facial expression, which ended up with me scrunching my face up even more.

“Ugh, I just hope Drew looks worse.” I added pushing my plate away so I could rest my forehead against the table. Jen laughed.

“Yeah, well he’s not here right now so I bet he’s at the infirmary” Ash smirked as I sat up again.

“Or he’s too embarrassed to show his nasty face in here” Jen requested but both of them shut up pretty quickly. One of our leaders, Eric was currently making his way over to us, and after he made Christina hang from the Chasm for basically nothing I think both Ash and Jen were terrified of him. I wasn’t though.

“You’re face took quite the beating, initiate.” He said directing the statement to me.

“Really? Thanks, I didn’t notice.” I answered pretending to be very interested in my food again. Almost everyone around the table became quiet. Everyone could see the annoyance on Eric’s face.

“Get up” he ordered. I shrugged a little bit, stood up and he then grabbed my upper arm and proceeded to drag me out of the room. Well, kind of dragged at least. I kind of just went with it. I heard Jen make a comment to Ash about me having to know when to shut up. I almost laughed at the comment. Well she obviously didn’t know anything at all. I forced the smile back and kept it like that until we were outside the room where we train.

“How do you expect passing if you can’t even protect yourself?” he asked looking at me with an annoyed look. I sighed, running my hands over my face.

“Then tell me, oh so amazing leader, what did I do wrong? Did I not win good enough?” I retorted as he pushed the door open walking in to the training room. I was just about to walk in when I heard someone call my name, followed by stomping.

“I saw you talking to Jared yesterday and I’m here to tell you to back the fuck off. He’s my boyfriend. If I ever see you speaking to him again I swear I will-“A girl with purple hair and a lot of freckles were suddenly angrily hissing at my face. Well talk about timing. Her voice just got louder and louder throughout the sentence, so finally I had to cut her off.

"Listen honey, I don’t know who you are, and I certainly don’t want your boyfriend. Actually, no one wants your boyfriend. That’s most likely why he is with you. You seem to have a horrible personality. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m kind of busy.” And with that I walked in to the training room after Eric, and shut the door in her face. I watched as Eric had a small amused smile on his lips, which soon disappeared when he stepped on to the mat. I watched him very carefully, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

“Well, are you coming or not?” he asked rising his eyebrows at me. Looking as confident as I could, I managed to put on a smile as I strutted over to the mat.

“Sorry, I was just planning my funeral” I finally said taking off my leather jacket and throwing it to the side, to make sure I would be able to move more freely.

“Just remember to protect you face” he said and so the fight began.

I managed to block a lot of his punches, and I did hit him more times than I first had thought I would, but I still ended up being the one on the floor trying to stop my face from bleeding. Eric helped me up into a sitting position, and grabbed my hands to keep them away from my face so he could see how bad it was.

“I told you to protect your face.” He stated lifting me up so I was standing instead and tilted my face up towards the light to see better. Seeing his facial expression, I guessed that it was pretty bad. As if all the blood hadn’t already given it away. “Let’s get you back to my room to get this cleaned up.”

I didn’t answer as I was pretty busy not getting blood everywhere. We were soon at his apartment and he asked me to just sit still and try to not get blood on anything as he got his first aid kit and some ice. When he finally did come with the stuff my lip had almost stopped bleeding. Putting a cloth soaked in disinfectant to my lip, he almost smirked when I flinched.

“Shut up, it stings like a bitch.” I scowled. He smirked and threw the cloth to the side, and brought the ice up to my eye. When I realized a bruise was starting to form over Eric’s jawline and a little bit up over his cheek I couldn’t help but smirk and lift my hand to brush my fingers over it.

2

“When I was a little girl, my dad would read the paper every Sunday, and my mom would read a book nearby. And I would sit at the top of our stairs and just watch them. Watch them be still together. And when I think of being in love, that’s what I picture – days like that. And nights like this.” 

#and in the end #the little girl got the beautiful love story she deserved

dating Jungkook would include

Originally posted by baebsaes

  • do you mean, how many texts can one boy send you in the space of one minute
  • serious man about texting
  • he doesn’t double text, he like 19-texts
  • usually it’s about weird things and memes
  • but sometimes he’s serious and shows how clingy he is irl 
  • clingy??? jungkook??? of course he is lorddddd
  • he’s the type to brag about how wet he makes you then two minute later cling to your arm in a beauty store
  • it’s the little things that tell you he loves you
  • like a text at 7pm his time, which is 8am your time, telling you good morning 
  • ‘morning to you too lol but how’d you know I got up now?’
  • ‘jimin told me the time difference ofc’
  • skype sessions always
  • and we’re talking intense Skype calls where you tell each other really deep things
  • he giggles when he tells you something cute 
  • then adds a quick 'lol joking’ to the end 
  • he’d be your boyfriend but also the source of your pain too
  • uhhh, as in he mocks you 25/8
  • that meme about 'you look pretty'—'what?'—'I said you look shITTY’ is 1000% jeon jungkook 
  • ngl there’d probably be a group chat with the rest of the maknae line for #badpics
  • ones which you’d send Jungkook at the dead of night
  • 'where’d you get this babe,,’
  • 'what’d you eat to pull this face? we don’t get answers for everything jungkook’
  • but on a serious note he’d also be so cute and shy
  • when you finally bring him over to meet your friends he’ll be really quiet
  • like you’re worried that he’s sick he’s that shy
  • but then when one of them cracks a joke he suddenly starts to lighten up a little
  • this lil cutie pie ugh it’s sickening
  • starts off as the big spoon but ends up as the little spoon in the morning
  • hogs the blankets too
  • makes up for it with his insanely hot body
  • wink wink
  • dem white shirts would also make great dresses
  • 'why are you wearing my clothes?’
  • 'because I look cute’
  • 'damn..u right’
  • then proceeds to either be cute as shit or have you ride his face
  • speaking of, he’d probably like that a lot
  • he seems like the type to love it when you show him that you need him
  • and he’d like touching you
  • kook’s thing is being an absolute tease unless you beg him 
  • but also there’s gotta be sub!kookie somewhere beneath that likes cuddles
  • even if he won’t admit it to anyone
  • either way he’d be the best boyfriend
  • he’d probs low key buy matching couple pyjamas too
  • #memekook strikes again
some cutesy aus

inspired by @marspersonified :-)

1. “omg i’m so, so sorry but you are so fucking cute when your mad i just can’t resist pissing you off all the time again sorry” au
2. “you spilled some water on yourself at dinner and ugh i noticed and we made eye contact and sorry i am so sorry please” au
→ 3. “wow wow i accidentally kicked you under the table and now it looks like i’m playing footsies with you fuck i am so embarrassing
4. “here i am buying a box of condoms for a friend but of fucking course i have to run into you here at the grocery store at ten in the evening this is just fucking great” au
5. “just trying to do my laundry in peace and my underwear is the last to go in and you happen to walk into the laundromat like what is my luck” au
6. “god it’s late and we’ve been driving for like seven hours and i meant to grab the water bottle in the cupholder but my hand accidentally grazed ur thigh” au
7. “i went in to kiss you for the first time and fuckin missed, i fucking missed and kissed the side of your jaw and i’m a fuckin dork and i want to die” au
→ 8. “you’re laughing at me now, god please stop laughing ugh let me do it again i’ll do it better this time i promise”
9.  “i was having a shit day and dialed the wrong number and nearly panicked hearing your fucking voice on the other end of the phone that i almost hung up” au
10. “i took you out on our first date and realized i forgot my own wallet so now i look like a cheapskate and fuck i like you so much i’m so embarrassed” au
11. “excuse me i’m supposed to be tutoring you in this subject do not look at me like that, this is inappropriate no please stop you’re adorable” au
12. “you asked me how you looked in the outfit you tried on and i’m trying real real hard not to smile because you’re so beautiful” au
13. “we’re supposed to be working on this super important thing please do not trace your fingers down the back of my neck like that i get so distracted so easily” au
14. “it’s four in the morning and i went to go get some water and you’re still up and we shouldn’t be caught together and you shouldn’t be this close to me right now” au
→ 15. “you just caught me in my embarrassing pajamas but somehow look so cute in yours and it’s so late and i’m so tired and i shouldn’t be flirting with you right now because this is dangerous
16. “no i will not sneak out with you right now in the middle of the night are you insane someone will catch us!!” au
→ 17. “stop looking at me like that the answer is no
18. “somehow you got into my things because you were cold last night and you’re wearing my hoodie and i’m just not sure how to feel all these feelings at once because you’re so fucking cute wearing it i don’t ever want you to take it off” au
19.shut up i’m supposed to be pissed at you right now, leave me alone, no don’t look at me like that, fuck do not touch me there, i hate you but you’re so hot right now” au
20. “you are so drunk and i can’t help but flirt back with you even though i know i shouldn’t and we should not be doing this right now no no no” au

6

Samifer AU(-ish) where Sam finds Lucifer and brings him back to the bunker and Dean is less than happy. Sam’s determined to convince his brother that Lucifer can behave, and Lucifer that humans aren’t so bad, but Dean is ignoring them both and Lucifer won’t stop insulting the human race. However, despite Sam’s worries, both may be slowly coming round to the idea of at least trying to get along.

Zodiac SQUAD: Cancer, Virgo & Gemini
  • Cancer, @ Gemini's place, running their hands through Virgo's hair: You still don't have a lover yet, V?
  • Virgo, already knows where this is heading: Look, Cancer, I already told you that-
  • Cancer, cuts them off, wiggles eyebrows: Maybe if you give Gemini a chance? Maybe flirt a little? Wink a little? Show a little shoulder...? Maybe show a little something something..
  • Virgo, mumbling under their breath: I'll show a finger that you sit on and spin
  • Cancer, raises an eyebrow, gets up & runs for Virgo's phone: I'mma tell your Mum!
  • Virgo, trips Cancer & tries to get their phone:
  • Cancer, sits on top of Virgo:
  • Gemini, walks in with chips & drinks in their arms:
  • Gemini:
  • Cancer & Virgo:
  • Gemini: I knew eventually you guys would end up fucking. Look, I don't mind it but y'all gotta go somewhere else for that shit.
Popestar Brooklyn show

(Part Zero aka Sharpiemaggedon - here.)

Concert highlights! (with accompanying video if I could find it on YT)

-near the end of Marissa’s set I went to the merch table. Jason (Billy Vanilla) showed up, and when he had a second I said hi and got real tongue tied trying to tell him he’d commented on one of my instagram photos. But he’s such a sweetheart! he was fucking genuinely happy to talk to me. he told me I should come back and he’d give me some stuff, like stickers, and I said ‘okay!! thank you!!’ I’m 30 years old why is my voice reaching dog-hearing levels of high

-but then he caught me when I got a few steps away because he’d checked his pockets and gave me an Aether pick. (!!!)

-also he is hella fucking tall (taller than air!) and moves like a heron on a mission. 

-”So many good-looking ones here tonight. I want to eat you. Eat many of you. But. Not yet.”

Papa asking “Ladies of Flatbush, do you want to get physical with me?”

-I’m pretty sure he said ‘you call on moi’ instead, in Square Hammer. XD

-Earth balancing drumsticks on his mask in person is somehow 100x better. 

-Papa taking his sweet time picking out a mallet to hit toms (is that what they’re called?)

-Alpha guitaring aggressively in Earth’s face

-Alpha and Water leaning back to back is so freaking cute

-”But serially seriously? NO.. He is not the fucking president. God damn it.’

(I think what he says when he goes on is “It’ll be better one day, trust me. But one- yeah, four years it’s shit. But anyways, he’s such a fucking bastard that we’ve written a song about him.”)

-Papa putting a mummy dust dollar between his lips while waiting during a guitar solo. He sat there all sauce and sass and then crumpled it up and tossed it to the crowd. 

-Earth bringing his beer or whatever back out with him for Monstrance Clock. And tapping the cymbals with it to emphasize Papa’s points during The Talk.

-and then he played crouched aggressively over the drums for most of the song itself.

-only the biggest pieces of confetti made it back to us. so I didn’t end up looking like a Christmas tree. But I did manage to snag 3 bills, 2 in really good condition.

-SHIT the Sister of Sin fucking losing it. After he introduced them and had come back over to them “Nice to meet you. Enchante. Now… , one of them had dropped something. So he pauses and leans over to get it and says “Let me get that for you, baby.” ugh can you not be so sweet and pervy at the same time She completely broke and couldn’t stop laughing and the other one hit her, like ‘oh dear satan if you can’t get it together I’m gonna break too please no, we have one job

-oh also, one of the pyro things fucked up early on and kept strobing for a while. it was behind Earth so I was just glad nothing more went wrong

-just - what a beautiful fucking theatre it was too…

-if you watch enough video from that show (like during the Body and Blood intro and a couple times after) you’ll probably hear a guy yelling ‘grab her by the pussy’. It sucks because he seemed nice, offering to move or duck when my roommate wanted to take a picture and apologizing for being generally hugemongous and blocking my roomie and our friend’s view. we had seats so it’s not like anyone could move much. If you look at the instagram photo he’s right above Papa’s head. (It especially sucked because his girlfriend was really nice. And then disappeared halfway through the show. Probably because he had to be *that guy* always trying to get Papa’s attention between songs. Papa is ignoring you because you’re an idiot, idiot.) I’m just glad he seemed to let the anti-Trump remarks go quick enough because that guy could’ve been a real problem if he’d wanted. :-/ 

-so after the show we waited in the back by the buses. unfortunately the venue had a huge fenced in loading dock, so everyone had to wait beyond that. people were waiting right by the gate, and the venue staff came back and forth a lot with garbage while we hung out in the cold. all in all I’m just glad people didn’t get in their way enough to piss them off and try to make us leave.

-While we were waiting I gave Kitkats to @chrysantheous and @violaceous44 (and shit was @valiantvisionsdawnn there after too? There was someone else, I just remember we were doing the ‘hi I’m blahblah username wow usernames in RL are really silly’ thing)

-oh and @deannancricket was there and there I am going ‘holy shit I recognize her From The Internet’

-the time actually flew by. I guess it was about 1 when Alpha came out and signed stuff for folks. My roomie went before me. (she said he went ‘oh, you have the first one!’ because she’s brought the Opus CD. and then she scampered away because she didn’t want to be in the way and he called after her all ‘thank you for coming!’

-well shit I guess I’m next. he says hello and all I can say is hello. twice. why are you saying just hello self. So I just blurt out ‘So I heard that maybe you might do a show with *redacted* here. In Manhattan?’ At first he was seemed taken aback maybe? probably just processing the babblefish and said that he didn’t know, that he didn’t think so. All I could say was ‘oh’ and probably had a kicked puppy face because then he said something along the lines of ‘well, if we did it would probably just be one show.’ So. Ahhhhhh. I dunno if he hadn’t heard about that interview they did, or because plans aren’t final he’s not supposed to say? I dunno guys. I felt bad for even asking.

-Especially because then he got a call and said ‘sorry I have to take this’ and that meant I was the last to get a signature I think. D:

Shortly after this, there was a lot of people moving around, Air had appeared from somewhere and was signing folks stuff, and I saw Water’s hair and that was about it and she was calling Air’s name because they had to go.

@nonpopulous @napsterclient

Ok I just need a second, who allowed this? Like wtf. I’m gonna talk about each member separately though

Hosh- ok first of all, I’ve said this every damn era, messy hair looks so good on that boy omg. Second, is that eyeshadow or just the lighting? Cause like either way, damnnnn. And the fucking parted lip thing!!!

Jun- my boy Jun up here looking like a fucking male model in that turtleneck, also jawline, like holy shit (that goes for all four of them!) And he’s got that lidded eye thing going on like someone is sucking him off. Ugh.

Chan- MY SON! Who even let him grow up this fast, like two months ago this boy was doing the cutest aegyo and all of a sudden he looks like a fucking dad.

Haohao- first of all, Holy shit, Minghao has the sexiest neck I have even seen, like look at those collarbones!! And the pierced ears are so good.

Ok well this ends my small rant. Have a good day guys 😊

anonymous asked:

The wording in your last post (the black hat thing) confused me towards the end. What is the controversy with Mark voicing the carebare looking thing?

apologies, afterwork exhaustion.

people seem to be lumping markiplier’s part in the show up with everything else they find “wrong” with it (those that find the show problematic, that is). 

for example: “wow, that villainous show is shit because it’s from the people who did miss officer and mr truffles and markipliers voicing one of the characters.”

they treat it like markiplier’s a bad person thus making the show bad because he’s in it. 

does that make sense?
-Darastrix