this dog puts up with so much shit

‘ Gordon Ramsay ’ Quotes Starters

Warning!! A lot of cursing.

❝ It’s fucking RRAAAWWWWW! ❞
❝ Fucking idiot. ❞
❝ You best be jokin’. ❞
❝ Don’t billshit me! ❞
❝ Donkey! ❞
❝ I wouldn’t feed that to my dog. ❞
❝ I wouldn’t serve that on DEATH ROW! ❞
❝ Come the fuck on! ❞
❝ FUCK OFF! ❞
❝ Tastes like it’s been microwaved. ❞
❝ ITS FROZEN AND RRAAAWWWWW! ❞
❝ YOU CAN’T STORE COOK MEAT AND RAW MEAT TOGETHER YOU FUCKING IDIOT! ❞
❝ THOSE POOR BASTARDS! ❞
❝ Disgusting! ❞
❝ In fifteen minutes, I will clear all that furniture and put it back in my van. And this shit here, I’ll put it back in there. ❞
❝ How the fuck did you burn ice-cream?! ❞
❝ I’ll get you more pumpkin, and I’ll ram it right up your fucking ass. Would you like it whole, or diced? ❞
❝ There is more olive oil on this than Popeye’s dick! ❞
❝ You put so much ginger in this, it’s a Weasley. ❞
❝ ____, You’re a first class cunt. ❞
❝ Hey! Excuse me, Madam! Fuck me?! How about fuck you! ❞
❝ I swear to god, this is the kind of shit you expect Tiger Woods to T-off with. ❞
❝ If I tell you to get out there I don’t give a fuck if you got a thong up your fat crack. GET OUT THERE! ❞
❝ Don’t whistle at me I’m not your fucking dog, you look more like a dog than I do. ❞
❝ You’re cooking in a burned pan you fucking dick! ❞
❝ I’m watching you like a fucking hawk, you know why? *Whispers in ear* I want you out. ❞
❝ You seriously surprised me…. Of how shit you are. ❞
❝ You act like the female version of Hannibal Lecter. ❞
❝ I’m done standing here with a bunch of idiots. Fuck you all. ❞
❝ What we are waiting on? I’M ON SOME FUCKING TALENT!! ❞
❝ I’m calling out orders, and you’re confused! And you’re confused! And you’re at the end of your dick! ❞
❝ It’s like a bison’s penis! What is that shit?! ❞
❝ Right now? I rather eat poodle shit than put that in my mouth. ❞
❝ Where’s the lamb SAUCE!? ❞
❝ Fuck off you useless sack of fucking Yankee Danky Doodle shit. ❞
❝ Fucking sue me. ❞

Shance headcannons

If you ain’t about that #Shaladin life step off,, I will not be reduced to arguing with you or have you trigger anyone. So step off and go away


DOMESTIC//EARTH

-as stated earlier, Lance can ice skate,, Shiro is absolute shit at it. Lance tends to cover the free skates he sees (give me all of the free skates!!!)
-Shiro loves seeing Lance dance (especially to bumpin’ reggaeton music)
-Jfc Lance’s hips do not fucking lie
-Lance is the domestic one
-Is an okay cook (Hunk is ready to tutor him)
-Don’t mess with his Champurrado or Horchata (unless you’re Shiro or willing to die)
-Shiro is the cuddler,, notorious for stealing Lance’s stuffed animals.
-especially the giant blue and black cat Shiro made (it looks pretty shitty) (all lop sided and what the fuck else)
-Lance has a YouTube channel (Chimi_Your_Changas) is a DIY/Cover artist/Boyfriend tag/reaction vid/beauty guru (is hella jealous of Shiro’s natural eyelashes)
-what the fuck bruh
-Shiro also has a YouTube channel Kieth made for him (Shiro-Gone-Ayyeee (not even a part of this fandom,, I just wanted to make a joke abt his disappearing act)). It’s where he posts him exploring abandoned places/game plays/vlogs/reaction videos
-They cuddle anywhere and everywhere
-both marathon yuuri on ice/Studio Ghibli/Poco’s Udon World/any gay friendly anime
-Lance cries eveytime
-They can’t have movie nights (After a minute into the movie Shiro will have already pieced the entire thing together & knows who will die//suffer)
-He loses interest and starts doing freaky shit to Lance under the covers
-Lance is very sore the next day

SPACE

-Lance gets lost hella easily on the ship,, Shiro always finds him
-every time. (“Didn’t I say I’d always find you?”)
-Skirted around each other until Lance nearly dies
-Shiro doesn’t eat, sleep, or shower for days
-He snaps at the team when they make flippant remarks pertaining to how often lance gets hurt//how he goofs off alot without meaning to
-Lance is the only one that can be in Shiro’s immediate vicinity after being triggered by Haggar
-Haggar tries to play on Lance’s insecurities to get him on Zarkon’s side
-Lance don’t fuck with that Brujería fuckshit
-They eventually move into one of their rooms.
-Lance has too many plants and Shiro is a bibliophile
-The room is too fucking tumblr
-especially with the soft color changing running light
-One wall is glass. (“I think lotor saw my ass…”//“Where is my bayard ”)
-Everyone else is slightly motivated to protect their power couple
-Speaking of power,, Lance (under Shiro’s guidance gets better at fighting///yesssss)
-Lance is a staple in the Voltron family dynamic
-Shiro acts like a concerd brother/father,, Lance (has a very big family and knows his way in maternal instincts after babysitting so damn much) is the doting mother figure who isn’t afraid to “kick your scrawny ass, put my shit tf down right now”
-Lance realizes he is important and he has a place
-Space pets?? Fuck yeah! Lance straight up takes a strange ferret/cat thing,, Shiro takes a bird/dog.
-cuddle puddles?? Hell yes. Always find them in thier room underneath the pets and a mountain of blankets
-Kieth complains about how sweet and sickly they are (klunk happens and lance is merciless in teasing)

SMUT
-Shiro is a hair puller, he also like to bite
-Mumbles praises in Japanese (Lance is a praise whore)
-on occasion Shiro cries
-Lance gets overstimulated easily
-babbles in Spanish or Gaelic
-drools/tears up when properly fucked out
-Lance is a screamer
-Shiro revels in bringing one of the most centered paladins to tears/a puddle of drool
-Lance likes lingerie and Shiro likes watching Lance model
-Lance wears the kinkiest lingerie under his civilian clothing
-both are slight exhibitionists
-Shiro is the kinkiest one

GENERAL

-Lance has a shit immune system and gets sick easily,, he isn’t a baby about it until the ear aches
-He cries only when he has an ear ache
-which can only be cured by roasting a clove of galric on a pan and wrapping that shit in a cotton ball and jamming that in his ear (old Mexican fix me up,, right next to drinking off brand sprite for tummy aches and The Egg™)
-theres no garlic in space
-Shiro feels like his soul has been torn just by the sounds of muffled cries and sobs of Lance’s pain
-Shiro has PTSD,, only Lance can get him to clam down
-Lance cusses in Spanish (if its bad enough in Gaelic)
-Shiro doesn’t cuss,, what kind of space dad do you take him for??
-Lance does yoga and pushes Shiro to join…both are incredibly flexible now and can pull of some Cirque du Soleil shit
-Lance is very religious//superstitious
-Shiro is polytheistic and gets excited about ghosts.
-doesn’t even care about aliens (give the man some damn ghosts)

This happened to me earlier, I shared it with my Facebook friends and some have shared it to raise awareness. Hopefully this can be helpful the next time someone is in trouble.

So I’m at the Walmart returning something when this girl comes up to me and gives me a hi and a smile and we start making small talk, how’ve you been, that sort of thing. I couldn’t tell if I knew her or not because I’ve met a lot of people here and there, I felt bad because I couldn’t place her for the life of me.

Then she said she wants to show me her new dog, and I see she pulled up a text message and wrote, “Help me the man in a brown is bothering me I’m scared” and I’m thinking oh shit, nope, this is not happening, it stops now.

So I grabbed her by the shoulders and said, “It’s so great that we can be friends after the breakup, I still care about you very much!” She looks bewildered (she didn’t expect another girl to say this to her), and the guy looked shocked, shook his head, and walked away. I told her I’d walk her to her car and put my arm around her. The guy was in the parking lot walking away so he didn’t follow us.

I made sure she was in her car and told her sorry if I made her uncomfortable but she was more shaken by the guy, she said he’d been following her around the store, asking her if she wants to go back to his house, if she’s wearing panties, and other, sicker things. She’s 19 and lives nearby, going to school, and I told her she’s very smart for what she did. She says she saw a tip to avoid creeps like that online and it worked, I’m glad it did.

Creeps are everywhere.

“who are you and why have you knitted my cat a sweater” au

february 14 | “proposal”
(Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Here’s the overview of my favorite AU of the week, plus a bonus tiny excerpt to start you off right. ;D)

Gabriel’s cat hates everyone and everything, except he’s suddenly decided it’s time to move in with their new neighbor, Jack. Gabriel only finds out about this because Reaper comes home wearing the world’s ugliest handmade sweater. Gabriel can’t believe his eyes. Reaper hisses when he tries to take the sweater off.

Gabriel sticks a note to Reaper’s collar that reads, “Who are you and why have you knitted my cat a sweater?” So begins Jack and Gabriel’s correspondence via post-it notes.

Jack’s veteran support group had suggested finding a way to keep his hands busy, so he decided to knit a sweater for the lonely cat that keeps sneaking into his apartment. It must be cold if it keeps curling up in his lap, right? Jack is a dog person so he is completely clueless about cats. He pretty much treats Reaper like a dog but Reaper is a weirdo who loves him anyway.

BONUS: Gabriel’s cat is an accurate predictor of his relationships with other people. So when Gabriel sees Reaper being a total sweetheart and purring as Jack puts Ugly Sweater 2.0 on him, he accidentally blurts, “Holy shit, marry me.”


EXCERPT

Gabriel stares down in utter disbelief. His cat is wearing a sweater. His cat—Reaper, a feisty little bastard who hates just about everyone and bites anything that moves—is wearing a sweater. A hideous, obviously hand-knitted sweater that Gabriel has never even seen before, let alone put on his sweater-hating cat.

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makosharkies  asked:

Hello! So, asks are open for a bit? Hope i wasn't too late to the party... If it's still open how about (general fluffy) headcanons on MC with werewolf! RFA (+ Minor trio if you do them)? If the asks are closed the you can ignore this. Thank you :3

A/N: aaaa they were open when you sent it love, no worries ^^ I will do my best here, im sorry if its short!! but i didnt wanna get repetitive or anything!! and i dont know too much about werewolves /heck pls i really hope its okay im Anxiety™/ ^^;

 

*YOOSUNG:

               -Honestly? I can see it

               -But instead of some big, bad, scary werewolf he?? Was like a giant puppy??

               -‘Cause it doesn’t change his personality too much in all honesty. Maybe this is why he’s such a puppy in person as well?

               -You have to watch him though, because he likes to run around and takes off after things like squirrels. Really likes to go (where it’s safe) and play around with you. Fetch? You betcha.

               -Seriously is not scary. Not at all. He can try, but nope. He even has puppy dog eyes. Weren’t werewolves supposed to be scary??

*ZEN:

               -The /best/ looking werewolf

               -Like you’ve seen those dog shows?? How they’re gorgeous dogs?? If there was a Werewolf Edition™, he would win.

               -His red eyes can actually be really scary in werewolf form, so you try not to upset him. Most of the time though, he tries to give you “The Beast” eyes. It doesn’t work. It does, however, make you giggle every time and that’s good enough for him

               -He has The Prettiest™ white fur and he needs you to take care of it for him. Brush, shampoo, anything to keep up with it. He’ll even let you braid or put bows in his fur, so long as you take them out. They looked pretty spaced out when he’s in wolf form but once he’s back to human form the amount of clips and things actually hurts his head

               -Wolf howls and makes all /sorts/ of wolf innuendos at you while in human form because he knows he can control himself well enough to do so

*JAEHEE:

               -Werewolves can be energetic and really determined but she just wants to sleep

               -With all the shit she puts up with all day and going through the transformation she just wants to cRAWL INTO BED

               -So she does. You’re in it too? Too bad. Large wolf cuddles for you. ‘Cause uh, she wants to sleep too.

               -Sometimes she’s awake enough and will feel bad so she curls up like a normal dog at the foot of the bed but honestly feels much better laying up with you

               -Seriously though it’s her favourite thing? Whether in her wolf form or not? Cuddling? Cuddle her, MC, please. She’s always a sweetheart? How is this even possible?

*JUMIN:

               -The Proper One™

               -Honestly, just as classy in wolf form as he is in human form

               -Hear me out, he also has this dominant way he presents himself. Like, he’s the alpha. Any dogs within a certain amount of miles /know/ it. They can feel it. They can feel it when he’s just human form as well. There’s just that aura around him

               -But not with you. He’s a big softy. At first you were really concerned for Elizabeth but she just rubs on him? That is the one canine-like being that she will ever enjoy. He still demands the high quality of meats to eat in this form too. He has tried at one point to use utensils in this form too, he gets frustrated. Also likes if you put a tie on him. Why aren’t any of these werewolves scary wtf did you watch the right horror movies MC?

               -10/10 will fight Zen in this form you gotta watch out

*SAEYOUNG:

               -The type to return to human form and just walk around for hours after, in the nude

               -Tries to scare you every time. You can’t count how many times he’s been dramatic in his change or how many times he’s tackled you, growling, pretending like he’s going to bite

               -Honestly you’ve learned to just lightly tap him on the nose with a newspaper and he turns into another giant puppy. Please don’t get him and Yoosung together. They’ll wreck the house.

               -Always wants to play wrestle with you. Always. But sometimes he miscalculates the fact that he is a lot stronger than you. If he hurts you even in /the slightest/ way, he’ll take off outside (obviously making sure you aren’t seriously injured first) and won’t come back until he changes back. Then he’s all apologies, practically begging you to forgive him, constantly kissing all over your face

               -On his calmer days, he likes to try and sit on your lap. Has that 'big dog’ syndrome where he thinks he’s a lap dog and refuses to acknowledge that he clearly does not fit

*JIHYUN:

               -Skiddish!!! I’m talking for the longest time he would physically sprint away from you and you’d find him hours later attempting to hide under the bed and it being a disaster.

               -I’m sure after a while he’d warm up to you and just quietly follow you around

               -I’m talking, you’re cooking in the kitchen? He’s there silently begging. You’re on the couch? He’s against your hip just like a normal dog. What is /wrong/ with all of these werewolves. Might as well have been puppies, amiright?

               -No but really he is 10/10 willing to protect you. Knock at the door? Growling scary enough you have to tell the person that you were watching a scary movie.

               -Belly rubs!!!!!! Will roll around like /the biggest/ idiot, knocking everything over in the process and sheepishly apologizing later on for not being able to help clean it

*SAERAN:

               -He tries to constantly growl at you and bare his teeth, trying to be intimidating so you’ll leave him alone because 1. he feels vulnerable and awkward and 2. what if he hurts you without meaning to?

               -Though you’re always hanging yourself all over him because he’s “cute” and he just learned to get used to it

               -Seriously he really likes head pats and behind the ear scratches and will crawl into your lap like his brother would until you give him that sort of attention. Fuzzy blankets somewhere? He’s curled up on one. He also likes to sit outside and just howl, it’s like screaming at the void, but in dog form

               -Honestly will sleep most of the time unless he’s trying to be alpha male and “protect” you from Saeyoung

               -Saeyoung just playfully tackles and sits on him though that poor baby he tries so hard

*VANDERWOOD:

               -The Most Intimidating One™

               -Would rather be alone because? It’s a sensitive time okay, he can get really grumpy

               -I’m talking growling, fangs showing, maybe even some of that like… gross angry drool but he’s extremely grateful when you clean it up off the floor because? Ew that’s gross. Does not want.

               -He will let you sit with him outside, though. If he’s sitting outside, it’s a calm time for him, and you’re more than welcome to sit too. Maybe even pet his head a little bit. BUT ONLY A LITTLE BIT. NO MORE.

               -I feel like he would get really embarrassed if he changed back in front of you? Like BAM HERE’S ME NAKED, and I think as much as he plays it off like he’s cool with it, inside he’s like, “did MC /really/ just see… everything?”


Masterlist!~

parkkate  asked:

omg okay, sorry I'm spamming you with this hahaha. You totally don't have to do it, I mean you already did the two things I asked for <3 Buuuuut here's another drarry line ;) "Have you no shame?"

(Nooo, so much fun!! Not need to apologise! I never put a limit on it!)

“Have you no shame?”

Draco looked up. “Shame is boring.”

Harry groaned, roaming his gaze back over their two dogs. 

One was dressed in a little replica of a Slytherin uniform, and the other a Gryffindor. He’d bloody dyed a lightning bolt on her damn face, and somehow managed to get her not to knock off a pair of glasses.

“We’re not walking them like that,” he said firmly. The last thing he needed was more shit from his friends and another stupid front page story about them.

Harry grit his teeth and refused to let Draco touch him while they walked around the park. The reporters were not even trying to conceal themselves. They’d be front page news, again. Why did he marry this idiot?


(Send me one line, I’ll write the next 5, one of the options for my 1k milestone)

Plance Things!!! (Can’t believe I never got around to this)

- Pidge actually loves the height difference. Even years after they flew into space she only grew a couple more inches while Lance shot up another six. Lance gives her piggy back rides when she’s dead tired and she likes being higher up. And they both love that Lance is able to drop kisses on her head. Sometimes when they kiss he has to bend down or lift her up. He thinks its cute when she jumps on him and literally hangs off of him, wrapping her legs around him and pouting while he chuckles at her. He compares her to a koala quite often. He does this spot on Autralian accent when he walks into a room he knows Pidge is working in like “and now we approach the Koala in her natural habitat…..”

-Lance teaches Pidge how to shoot. He’d been the one to show her how back at the Garrison but he likes to make sure she keeps up with it so that he knows she’ll be okay. He even starts teaching her to use a bow and arrow which, she didn’t know he could do. He takes her out while they’re on planet and shows her how to handmake them. He learned a few things early in life although he never tells her how. At least not yet. It’s not until he transforms his bayard into a machete and goes ham on a group of enemy Galra that he finally explains that his family trained him to fight and survive but he preferred shooting because it felt less personal. There’s a look in his eyes, something deeply sad and haunted that tells her it isn’t the time to ask why he was raised that way. She just kisses him softly and climbs into his lap. “I’m not afraid” she says, and by the way his body relaxes she knows it was what he needed to hear.

-He is so goddamn good to her. He waits on her hand and foot. If she wants or needs amything he finds a way even for the most impossible things. Sometimes, Pidge is so spoiled by him she doesn’t know what she dod to deserve it. Lamce doesn’t have to be as attentive as he is. That’s not to say that he lets her walk all over him.or that he’s suffocating. He just really takes care of her and she’s not used to that. She wants to return the favor somehow but she’s not the dorky romantic gentle..man? in this relationship. She’s the brainy hardass. She knows Lance likes video games like she does but she wants to do meaningful shit too dammit. She talks to Hunk about it and he tells her to find ways to use her own skills to do so. So the first thing she does it make Lance his own robot. She spends a long time making it look as much like a dog as possible. When she presents it to Lance, he cries and Podge thinks she’s made a mistake but then she’s being lifted up into his lap and her face is peppered woth soft kisses. “I love it. I love it so much. I love you so much….” The feeling she gets from that is indescribable and now she knows why Lance does it. Holy shit. So he gets a new phone after that. Then a holographic picture frame that also works as a nightlight in their room and Lance can put as manage picitures as he wants in them. She also branches out into things Lance likes. She makes a device that tests ingredients that can be used to make facemasks and other cosmetic products and which combinatioms are best and it makes it so much easier to maintain his skincare routine. She comes to their room the next day and there’s a book waiting for her on their bed. It’s a book with 12 different coding languages used across the universe, all translated into Galran which Lance and Pidge learned together after she taught him Altean.

-when either one if them is attacked, hurt or kidnapped the others don’t know what to do with them. They’re usually the first to bust in, kicking ass and taking names. One time Pidge got knocked out and Lance doesn’t even remember shooting her attackers down because he blacked out. He didn’t let anyone touch her when he put her in the pods and he camped outside of her pods the entire day she was in there. He hadn’t even taken off his armor and wipes off the blood. When she came out she ended up dragging him to his room for a shower and Hunk brought them food and they ate in their bed, Lance stroking her face and breathing her in to reassure himself that she was still there. When Lance gets kidnapped, Pidge raises the most hell. The Galra will be fixing their firewalls for months with how deep her viruses went. When team Voltron busts in it’s to find Lance beaten and dangling on the wall. She throws everything Lance taught her at them and then some. When he comes out of the pods she’s waiting for him with a kiss and a punch to the shoulder.

He just smirks.

“Did you give em hell, babe?”

There’s tears in her eyes but she manages a smile.

“You know it.”

boy squad + kittens

[Read it on AO3!]

Isak: Sanaaaaaaaa

Sana: Yes, Isabell?

Isak: the boys saw pictures of your kittens

And they were wondering if they could come round and see them

Sana: which boys

Isak: rude

I would know who you were talking about if you said the girls

You should pay more attention to me Sanasol

Take an interest in my friendships

Sana: …yes you can all come and see them

All five of you?

Come over tomorrow after school

Isak: Takk Sanasol!

*

Sana has to admit she finds it a bit weird that this is her life now. Ever since she revealed to her friends that her mama fosters kittens, people want to come and see them. And now she’s ended up with Isak’s “squad” round at her house, sitting in what she refers to as “the kitten room,” all five of them absolutely melting into the floor at the sight of several six-week-old kittens.

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Book of the Atlantic Reactions
  • UNDERTAKER!!!!!! 
  • Ok so like they fucking went ham on Sebastian’s eye glowy thing that he does. Like hot fucking damn they do not let you forget that he’s a demon. And it’s just so fucking sexy?? With his eyes all sharp and red and hngggg
  • UNDERTAKER
  • Lizzie being Lizzie. Fucking awesome omg. That scene did not disappoint they did SO GREAT. THE WIFE OF THE QUEEN’S GUARD DOG FUCK YEAH. She lost her shit ain’t no freaky zombies better touch her man or else *puts up fists*
  • Snake doing the voices for his snakes lmfao omg I love that boy
  • UNDERTAKER!!
  • Baby Ciel happily drinking milk with honey is my new aesthetic
  • The fact that they actually incorporated Sebastian getting all misty black into his ‘demon-ish’ form which was AWESOME 
  • Seeing the Ciel/Lizzie dynamic was just amazing. I feel so pumped to write something for them. Because despite everything my god you really see how much they’re willing to fight for each other and that shit is my jam. 
  • Grey being a salty salty
  • GRELL. AGHHHH DA BEST.
  • Hearing Knox call Grell ‘senpai’ 
  • Waiting until the end of the credits to see WILL!!! *heart throbbing*
  • UNDERTAKER
  • Ok the fact that like they took the key scenes from the manga and just like kept them there for an extra few seconds so we could all soak in the deliciousness. When undertaker reveals his eyes and says the whole ‘how sad should laughter disappear’ thing, the one where he’s holding the woman zombie doll thing, and the whole death scythe GAHH. 
  •  WHEN THEY FADE HIS FACE FROM A SKULL LIKE OMG HE IS REALLY -DEATH- YOU KNOW LIKE GWAHHH YAAASS AMAZING.
  • the fact that I dragged the bf along so he could finally explain the hell of a butler phrase to me lmao.
  • PROBABLY A LOT MORE BUT IT’S MIDNIGHT AND SO I’M SLEEP K THANKS
bodyguard!Seventeen: Vocal Unit

find vixx (here)
find hip hop unit (here

Jeonghan 

  • smiles while twisting some dirtbags wrist
  • gives you a thumbs up after he’s “disposed” of a threat 
  • always has this serene aura around him even in the most panicked situations like you have never seen him lose his cool he always looks so professional and collected
  • wears his hair in a ponytail when it was long and after cutting it he just clips it back and it’s ,,,,, so cute ,,, 
  • will hold a grudge for 20000 years if someone hurts you like he. will. not. forget. 
  • playfully jokes around with you by keeping silent when you ask him something and you’ll be like “jeonghan? jeonghan are you asleep?” and when you get close to his face he opens his eyes and just very calmly kisses you and goes “boo” (but only when no one else is around)
  • has an unexpected amount of power when he’s really really mad like if someone hurts you, he suddenly gains the strength of like a horse and literally other guards have to keep him back 

Joshua 

  • tries to keep you on-time and on-schedule and literally has every part of your day memorized
  • and all the other bodyguards are like dude you’re not her assistant or planner and joshua’s like aS bodyGUARDS our DUTY should BE TO KEEP eVERything safe and ORDERLY 
  • and sometimes like the other bodyguards are like hey doesn’t it kinda annoy you but you’re like what no it’s so endearing im actually so thankful
  • and tbh you once said that to josh you were like “without you, i would be a mess” and joshua like nearly fainted from overheating on the spot 
  • carries like napkins and medicine and like i dont know an extra blanket with him just in case of emergencies and like it melts your heart he’s always so attentive to you and sweet 
  • he once got sick but refused to leave work until you sat him down and ordered him to get some rest and put your hand to his forehead to feel his temperature and he was like aHHHHH on the inside because you’re touching him is THis wORK APPROpriATE 

Woozi 

  • gets underestimated but then everyone learns that he can pack a punch so they’re like oH and keep their mouths shut 
  • wears the same, grumpy expression most of the time and it’s hard to read him because he is literally always grumbling about something 
  • every other bodyguard always has a weapon on hand somewhere but woozi is just like “my fists of anger will be enough”
  • you caught him once tippy-toeing to reach for something and you were like he’s so cute but you said it outloud and woozi turned around and knocked the thing he was trying to get down and it hit his head and he was like oW and you were like omf im sorry and went to help him and he was just like i G T G and ran off 
  • you were like ???? but woozi was in the other room like talking to himself like no no they didn’t call you cute no no you’re not cute woozi you’re intIMIDATINg as HELL 
  • but he actually secretly is soft and watches you from the corner of his eye when you’re busy and notices little subtle thing that make him smile
  • the rest of the bodyguards see him smile and they’re like oh he’s human but then woozi frowns at them and they’re like sHIT HE CauhgT US wE ARE DeAD 

DK

  • the sweet shining sunlight of your life who also sometimes, rarely though, puts bad people into chokeholds…….
  • shows up to work in the button down and slacks and the other bodyguards are like !!!! where’s the rest of your suit/??/? and dk’s like “oh i passed someone on the street that needed a blanket so i gave my jacket to them ^^ this is ok right??” and before the bodyguards can say anything you’re like “it’s fine. it’s perfect” and DK is like thank you so much ^^ 
  • shows you dog memes on his phone during like boring conversations and the other guards are like put your phone away but you’re like nAH show me more dog videos
  • for the most part in dangerous situations he actually despises using violence and he usually tries to talk it out with the person bothering you, usually just politely asking them to leave and rethink saying or doing something stupid
  • but in those scenarios where someone doesn’t want to listen DK loses the smile and is like “I don’t want to do this but-” and well KO 
  • likes to playfully tickle you or ruffle your hair when it’s just the two of you and you’re always like !!! stop why!!! and he’s like idk i just wanted to touch you hehe,,, 

Seungkwan

  • good aim with a weapon, but an even better talent is his ability to hit high notes like his voice never fails to amaze you
  • always getting calls from his mom during press conferences or when you’re going somewhere and the other guards are like silence your phone but you’re like it’s his mom seungkwan you can answer it tell her i say hello
  • and seungkwan is always so thankful to you because you’re so sweet and considerate and tbh when you’re not around he’s like mom mom listen im in love- 
  • tries to be ‘cool’ by saying things like “looks like it’s time to kick ass o’clock” when he has to deal with someone difficult and you wanna giggle at how cheesy it is and seungkwan’s like nO you can’t laUGH it’s supposed to be cool im supposed to be like james bond 
  • he also has this like obsession with making sure you’re always covered as in like he’s always giving you his jacket or passing you a big scarf to put over your legs if you’re wearing something that comes up above the knee or if you have something without sleeves and you’re like seungkwan please and he’s like what if you get cold. whAT IF?????? 
  • but it could also be because he doesn’t like the look other guards or people are giving you because seungkwan is like extra protective of you 
  • i mean he told his mom he kinda loves you SO 

anonymous asked:

can mod bethany shut up about her personal issues? She always brings her shit into things.every day its some new problem

Okay, fuck you. This blog belongs to Mod Bethany, and she puts so much into this blog so she can vent if she wants to. This blog isn’t just for our followers, it’s for us too. Don’t like it, don’t follow. Good riddance.

-Mod Ches


Dear anon, 

Last night I had a mental breakdown because the stress of my upcoming finals got to me. The last straw was when my dog peed on my futon. I put her in her kennel while I cleaned everything up, but she was whining the whole time so I got a noise complaint, at which point I lost it. I spent the next six-ish hours coming to the conclusion that my dog is too high energy for me and maybe I should give her up. Today, I’m exhausted (crying for multiple hours takes effort). For now I’ve decided to keep my dog but keep evaluating if we’re a good match or not. If I can’t take care of her and if she’s not giving me the emotional support I need (she’s an emotional support animal), then the best thing for both of us would be to take her back to the shelter. It’s a tough decision. 

Sincerely, 

We’ll talk about whatever we want seeing as how it’s our blog and not yours

Mod Marie-Rose

mike, being the history buff that he is, probably had a phase where he got really interested in old mickey mouse cartoons when he got a little older. he liked the tingy audio and seeing how the styles changed and he knows the more unknown characters (oswald, clarabelle, horace) by heart. one day richie decided to do a mickey mouse Voice and said “hot dog!” and mike of course got excited and jumped at the opportunity and said “hey, did you know that the first words mickey mouse ever said in a sound cartoon were ‘hot dogs’? that’s why he says it so much!” and richie said “you just made that up!” and mike responded “no i didn’t! it’s called 'the karnival kid’, my daddy told me and i’ve seen it!” and richie put on the mickey mouse voice and went “well, your daddy and you are full a shit, mikey-boy! a-ha!” and mike cracked UP. mike hardly ever laughed at richie’s voices but this one just had him REELING and so richie started practicing and learning how to do donald duck and goofy and always used them to get a guaranteed chuckle from mike. like mike couldn’t believe when richie first did a donald duck impression, it was one of the coolest thing a thirteen year old had ever seen and richie kept up the jokes for years even after mike mostly grew out of it.

Shiro:
Now when people make fun of me, I deserve it. Uh, I do. When people get mad at me now, it’s all my bad. I’m a terrible driver. I know nothing about cars. I meant to learn about cars, but I forgot. Nothing that I know can ever help out with your cars ever. Unless you’re like, uh, “Oh, I got a flat tire, does anybody here knows a lot about the Cosby Show?” “Oh perhaps, I can be some assistance.” I’m one of the worst drivers I have ever seen. And I just want you to know that if you are in highway behind me. Uh I hear you honking. And I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing. I don’t like that I am in that lane either, but i sure like to get out of it. I was on the highway in Texas recently. Highway filled with 13 years old, and I was on the far left lane. And as I was in the far left lane, it turned into a U turn, a U turn only lane. And I started to make a U turn. Then I panicked cause I didn’t want to make a U turn, so I put the car in reverse. And then merged right back on the highway. The best thing about that was that after that, cars were pulling up, and looking over to see who just did that piece of shit move, expecting to see like a hundred year old blind dog whose texting while driving and drinking a smoothie. Instead they see a 49 year old, healthy man, trying his best.

University!Winwin AU

•so like he’s a foreign student from China of course
•no one really knows why he’s there since his life in China was great and everything
•I mean what could get better than dancing half naked on a stage while wearing a leaf skirt
•of course Winwin is majoring in Performing Arts
•like the dancing part
•basically he learns about the history of dances from different countries and tries to prefects them
•which happen 99% of the time
•still doesn’t get why the whip and nae nae are chosen for America
•shows up to most of his classes unless he over sleeps
•the professors could never stay mad at him for it and help him catch up
•pretty focus on the school life tbh
•I mean he has a part time job at a cafe but now is not the time for me to explain that
•roommates with Kun of course, another Chinese transfer student
•mostly talk to each other in Chinese and everyone around the is like ‘wtf’
•secretly talking about girls and no one has any idea that their doing it
•since their apartment does allow pets, he and Kun take care of a little puppy
•contacts his parents a lot
•they also send him a lot of money because it sounds like something they would do
•now let’s get to the part where you come in
•so you’re also a student at the same university and you first met when you were walking your dog
•Winwin was also walking his dog •put them both together and bam, you have your first meeting
•your dog went up to his dog and sniffed it’s butt and that began a new friendship for the dogs
•you and Winwin say ‘hi’ and that’s like it •maybe introducing yourself but that much farther than that
•blame Kun
•he was the one that interrupted your meeting by calling Winwin to go buy milk or some shit
•of course Winwin listens because he’s a smol little puppy
•you meet again when your buying coffee and it turns out that he was at the cash register at that time
•'aren’t you the one dude from the dog park?’
•'umm….. yes? By the way do you want whip cream on that?’
•awkward moment #1
•not meeting again until you guys find out that you’re actually in the same class
•don’t blame me for not knowing him sooner, it’s not my fault that the class was always packed and took place in a huge auditorium
•everyone was paring up for a project and since you and Winwin kinda knew each, y'all paired up
•your professor (Yixing 😊) set it up so you would have to do some sort of couple traditional dance
•you would both blush of course but agree to do it anyways
•spending a lot of more time with each other and getting to know each other well during practice
•hanging out when practice is over with Kun sometimes
•taking your dogs out on play dates
•both denying that you guys are dating because a)you guys are both shy and b)no one officially asked the other one yet
•when it’s time for the final performance y'all slayed
•him getting all excited and kissing you on the cheek
•cue tomato faces on the both of you
•Kun yelling ‘I called it!!!’
•like boi, everyone called it
•finally you guys are official
•your dogs like that too
•and now you have a boyfriend to walk you to class and hang out with you after

Plance Things!!! (Can’t believe I never got around to this)

- Pidge actually loves the height difference. Even years after they flew into space she only grew a couple more inches while Lance shot up another six. Lance gives her piggy back rides when she’s dead tired and she likes being higher up. And they both love that Lance is able to drop kisses on her head. Sometimes when they kiss he has to bend down or lift her up. He thinks its cute when she jumps on him and literally hangs off of him, wrapping her legs around him and pouting while he chuckles at her. He compares her to a koala quite often. He does this spot on Autralian accent when he walks into a room he knows Pidge is working in like “and now we approach the Koala in her natural habitat…..”

-Lance teaches Pidge how to shoot. He’d been the one to show her how back at the Garrison but he likes to make sure she keeps up with it so that he knows she’ll be okay. He even starts teaching her to use a bow and arrow which, she didn’t know he could do. He takes her out while they’re on planet and shows her how to handmake them. He learned a few things early in life although he never tells her how. At least not yet. It’s not until he transforms his bayard into a machete and goes ham on a group of enemy Galra that he finally explains that his family trained him to fight and survive but he preferred shooting because it felt less personal. There’s a look in his eyes, something deeply sad and haunted that tells her it isn’t the time to ask why he was raised that way. She just kisses him softly and climbs into his lap. “I’m not afraid” she says, and by the way his body relaxes she knows it was what he needed to hear.

-He is so goddamn good to her. He waits on her hand and foot. If she wants or needs amything he finds a way even for the most impossible things. Sometimes, Pidge is so spoiled by him she doesn’t know what she dod to deserve it. Lamce doesn’t have to be as attentive as he is. That’s not to say that he lets her walk all over him.or that he’s suffocating. He just really takes care of her and she’s not used to that. She wants to return the favor somehow but she’s not the dorky romantic gentle..man? in this relationship. She’s the brainy hardass. She knows Lance likes video games like she does but she wants to do meaningful shit too dammit. She talks to Hunk about it and he tells her to find ways to use her own skills to do so. So the first thing she does it make Lance his own robot. She spends a long time making it look as much like a dog as possible. When she presents it to Lance, he cries and Podge thinks she’s made a mistake but then she’s being lifted up into his lap and her face is peppered woth soft kisses. “I love it. I love it so much. I love you so much….” The feeling she gets from that is indescribable and now she knows why Lance does it. Holy shit. So he gets a new phone after that. Then a holographic picture frame that also works as a nightlight in their room and Lance can put as manage picitures as he wants in them. She also branches out into things Lance likes. She makes a device that tests ingredients that can be used to make facemasks and other cosmetic products and which combinatioms are best and it makes it so much easier to maintain his skincare routine. She comes to their room the next day and there’s a book waiting for her on their bed. It’s a book with 12 different coding languages used across the universe, all translated into Galran which Lance and Pidge learned together after she taught him Altean.

-when either one if them is attacked, hurt or kidnapped the others don’t know what to do with them. They’re usually the first to bust in, kicking ass and taking names. One time Pidge got knocked out and Lance doesn’t even remember shooting her attackers down because he blacked out. He didn’t let anyone touch her when he put her in the pods and he camped outside of her pods the entire day she was in there. He hadn’t even taken off his armor and wipes off the blood. When she came out she ended up dragging him to his room for a shower and Hunk brought them food and they ate in their bed, Lance stroking her face and breathing her in to reassure himself that she was still there. When Lance gets kidnapped, Pidge raises the most hell. The Galra will be fixing their firewalls for months with how deep her viruses went. When team Voltron busts in it’s to find Lance beaten and dangling on the wall. She throws everything Lance taught her at them and then some. When he comes out of the pods she’s waiting for him with a kiss and a punch to the shoulder.

He just smirks.

“Did you give em hell, babe?”

There’s tears in her eyes but she manages a smile.

“You know it.”

anonymous asked:

My least favorite characters are Heinz's parents anyone who wants to hurt my lil trans child has to fight me and I know they're technically responsible for all the good things he has like Vanessa and Perry but STILL YOU DISOWNED YOUR OWN SON AND LET HIM BE RAISED BY WILDCATS YOU MADE HIM STAND STILL IN ONE SPOT PRETENDING TO BE A GNOME AND MADE HIM WEAR STUFF OF THE WRONG GENDER WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE YOU AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE KINDERLUMPER UHG I HATE THEM SO MUCH

I HATE THEM SO MUCH OH MY GOD

LIKE I NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW SERIOUS HEINZ’S BACKSTORY WAS UNTIL I GOT OLDER BUT. HE WAS ABUSED. STRAIGHT-UP ABUSED. I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW THEY WERE ABLE TO PUT THIS KIND OF STUFF IN A KIDS’ CARTOON BC IT’S SO HORRIBLE AND IT MAKES ME SICK. THEY FORCED HIM TO DO ALL THIS SHIT AND THEY TERRIFIED HIM WITH STORIES LIKE DER KINDERLUMPER AND HE HAD NO MONEY TO GET OUT OF HIS SITUATION BC OF THEM AND HE HAD ONE FRIEND AND IT WAS A FREAKING B A L L O O N AND HIS DAD HAD A DOG NAMED ‘ONLY SON’ BC HE HATED HEINZ SO MUCH AND THEN?? THEY JUST ABANDONED HIM?? JUST CAST HIM ASIDE IN FAVOR OF ROGER BC HEINZ WASN’T THE PERFECT SON AND G A H I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS OKAY

TL;DR JUST LET ME HUG HEINZ LET ME PROTECT HIM

Beach {OPEN}

Simon was pretty pleased with himself actually. The new pattern with Jace, of waking him every time and just talking, was really helping with the nightmare situation. Sleep was coming easier and better now. Some parts of his life were still fucking complicated but that wasn’t likely to change and aside from the fucking slavery shit, he could live with most of it.

He sat against the beach log and lit a cigarette as Valentine ran in and out of the waves. The dog was growing up beautifully, even Jace approved, especially after Valentine found him on the beach when he was injured. They still had their moments, especially now that Valentine was so much bigger than Jace and still growing, but it was coming together nicely.

He was so lost in these thoughts that he didn’t notice the person approaching until Valentine barked and ran over to greet them. “Oh shit, sorry, want me to put him on his  leash?” Simon offered as he stood up.

Shawn Mendes (Respect)

angelicalaidlaw request. …cute moments with Shawn… the others are being jerks out of jealousy and he flips… Make your own requests here

Not exactly what you asked for but stories have their own way of unfolding, hope you like it :3 Ah, I so wanted to write him going bat shit crazy. Too early today for that tho, may be next time. >:)

———————————————

School was over, but the boys were still nowhere to be seen. Shawn had texted that he was coming to get you with Cameron or Nash, so you skipped the  crammed school buss.  As caring as he was, the boys always got distracted by something and forgot about time and space. Kicking on on the curve you cursed yourself, bet they’d already forgotten all about you.

”Fuck this” you muttered to yourself and started to slowly walk home. Searching for your earplugs you didn’t even notice a car stopped next to you and the drivers window was rolled down. 

”Hey, beautiful, want a ride” Turning your head around to look a the car you saw a annoyed Shawn looking at the the grinning driver. 

”Oh Cam, you won’t get thru to me with your cheesy lines.” Opening the door you got in to the backseat. ”Besides you guys are late.”  

”I’m sorry Y/N, we went by Starbucks” Shawn looked back at you, trying to give you one of his smiles ”I got you your favorite drink.” 

He handed over your cup and you rewarded him with a peck ”Forgiven”. Cam drove back to his and Nash house.  Matt, Nate, Sammy and the Jacks where supposed to join you guys later for movie night.

Jaxx greeted you happily, begging for some scratching and attention. Shawn had taken his guitar with him so he sat down on the sofa, while the house owners were still setting up snacks and beverages. Jaxx followed your steps to sit down next to Shawn and put his head in your lap.

 ”Ain’t he just the cutest?” You asked Shawn, he chuckled a bit.  ”Should I be jealous about Jaxx too?” Without noticing he had started to play the song you guys had been singing on the last time you stayed at his house. 

”Oh hey Y/N! You’re here too.” Nate walked in, Sam following up a step behind ”Hey Y/N” He blinked his eye at you, but you awkwardly ignored it by saying hi and looking at Jaxx while scratching behind his ears. 

”Y/N? She’s here?” Matt ran to hug you the second he came in. ”Where have you been?! I’ve missed you” he pouted and without leaving any seconds for you to answer, he turned around to Shawn ”You should stop hogging her for yourself,  She’s as much our property as yours.” 

”Hey, I’m not anyones property!” You stood up to get a soda. 

You couldn’t help but to notice Sammy’s eyes were following you ”With those clothes your open bate”.  Nate wolf whistled after you. 

You could hear Shawn putting down his guitar and standing up ”Nate, shut up and Sam eyes on the fucking dog, I mean it or I’ll go bat shit crazy. You guys know Y/n and I are dating these days, so respect it.” 

You couldn’t help but to peek back at him standing up to defend your honor, how someone so sweet could sometimes turn so hard and stern when protecting you was kinda hot.