this didn't come out like i wanted it to at all

I wish I could lose enough interest in TWD to be able to stop watching. Then I could come back here in a a few years when the show is over and find out when Caryl finally went canon, how it happened, if they shared a lot of scenes, whether they died and how they died. I don’t want to care about the struggles, separation of two fictional characters and the want for them to become a romantic couple to a degree that it affects my mood and daily life greatly.

But the only way that can happen is if I find something in RL to hold my interest and fulfill my addictive needs OR find a new show to obsess over. lol. The catch is that with the second one I’m likely to fall into the same trap I’m in now.

Eh. I’ll start with the second one and work slowly on the first. Does anyone have any good TV show recommendations? lol. For reference, some of my all-time favorite shows are: TWD (duh), Lost, Angel, BtVS, Supernatural, Game of Thrones, Kyle XY, Once Upon a Time, Smallville, Dexter, Heroes, The Vampire Diaries (though I quit watching several seasons ago). I also watch the Flash and Arrow, though I don’t love them. LOL, another genre apart from fantasy/sci-fi/horror, you ask? I love Scrubs and Friends. Oh, and One Tree Hill.

eta: Want to add that I’ve seen Stranger Things and Breaking Bad, too. Both amazing shows. <3

a little part of me kinda hates that i grew up with hp????? idk harry potter feels like something i’ve always known and all my memories of it merge together and i can’t separate my experiences…like i don’t remember how i felt when you found out quirrel was actually the one after the stone not snape and i feel like i’ve always know that sirius was harry’s godfather and just loads of stuff ya know? i just wish i could reread the books for the first time now and really experience the plot and appreciate all the twists and turns and come up with theories and just really take it all in idk


The Difference Between Us is an upcoming My Little Pony fan game about Fluttershy on her first date with Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy never knew that Pinkie felt that way about her, and she struggles to figure out what she wants and how she feels about Pinkie as she finds her way through the date.

There are three main routes through the date, and each route has three endings, all with several different variations depending on your prior choices. There are no bad endings, just different ways of exploring a new relationship and the new feelings that come with it. All of the mane six as well as the cutie mark crusaders make appearances to offer advice, hang out, or even put on a show. And all along the way, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie will be telling stories, sharing secrets, healing old wounds, and, hopefully, growing closer.

Coming soon!

Bassian + romance

Listen, just, shit listen.  We’ve been wrong.  We’ve been so wrong.  It’s understandable, you take one look at Bodhi Rook and then you take another look at Bodhi Rook in a flower crown and you just want to see him romanced so hard and flustered and adorable but just fucking listen. You know who’s the one to actually get really flustered by romance?  Cassian. Fucking.  Andor.

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Follow Forever List

So, I have been here for a little over two months and already have 200+ followers… who are you people and how did you get here!? You must be lost bc holy crap I never thought my OC character would get this much attention! While originally I was just going to be part of the GOT/ASOIAF community, my gamer weakness made me branch out into Dragon Age and Skyrim verses as well – not to mention historical and modern RP too!

I have learned so much already in my short time here and made so many lovely friends, that I can’t thank you all enough for wanting my doofus little self on your dashes and interacting with me. <3 I’m going to put the rest beneath a cut so as not to clog feeds bc this will likely get long, but PLEASE know that even if you don’t get a mention that I still adore you all and that you’re more than welcome to come into my IMs to change that. 

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Scraping an update together is a bit tough right now, since I’m mainly dealing with plotty and behind-the-scenes sort of stuff, but look! I made a a revamp to the “health” bar from the demo so that it looks a little more polished, hopefully, and also sits at least a little bit further out of the way. Also little balloon animation for when you lose (Or gain) points.

I also went and got a multiple parallax script running and man, I like it waaay better:

This script makes my dinner and does my taxes and tucks my children into bed at night. I love it. I love you, multiple parallax. Where have you been all my game-making life.

Sorry for the shitty gif quality but my computer’s not wanting to cooperate, so it’s a bit stuttery. Anyhow! I’m also finished with (most) of the revisions to the first part of chapter 2, so there’s some progress. I’ll try to keep everyone updated.

the-fan-garbage-can reblogged your photoset and added:

I’m going to scream.

This is seriously an amazing au. I feel the need to write for it and make cool prompts and hnnnnnnng.

But in all seriousness, this is my dream as a Fanfiction author. Well-thought out with a detailed background, it makes for a good pre-layout, much like an actual show/book would. It also has essential dynamics(Changing, Life, the whole ice scenario) that create a solid backbone for authors. With how it’s written, I could clearly see details and feel any artist wanting to create fanart for this AU could easily do it(but then again I’m not an artist so who am I to say).

It has so much potential that I can’t put it into words! It’s just so well thought out and beautiful and I seriously can’t wait to see more of it. Hell, I may even write a couple drabbles based off of it! With credit of course. An AU like this has potential for authors and artists alike to practice scenes they may not be used to writing, mainly high-action, face-paced scenes or incredibly dangerous stealth scenes.

I know I’ve gone on for so long, but I love AUs like this and I’m incredibly happy that Yuri!!! On Ice has one like it. I’ve roleplayed and written a few AUs for this series, but none have truly caught my attention like this one.

the-graceful-dahlia replied to your photoset “INFERNO: YURI NO ICE A Yuri!!! on Ice AU *No, the title is not a typo…”

I was way to into that…I may have to write a fic version of this because i got to the end and was like ‘awwwwwww it’s over??’ I need more!!! Permission to attempt a fic version?

vinillia replied to your photoset “INFERNO: YURI NO ICE A Yuri!!! on Ice AU *No, the title is not a typo…”


make-sterek-canon reblogged your photoset and added:

I want to read this, so interesting *___________* Someone write this!!     

all1sees reblogged your photoset and added:

holy fuck i would read the shit out of this                

@london-calling-me reblogged your photoset and added:


Thank you all so, so much for liking my Inferno AU, especially @the-fan-garbage-can for writing out such an incredibly detailed review ;A; Nothing can be more satisfying than people loving my world building, honestly my favorite part of creating, and especially on an original AU like this one because it means you still connected with it. I’m deeply flattered and incredibly humbled, thank you so, so much! It makes me incredibly happy to have shared something that means something to you ;A;

But if at all possible, and you may feel I am selfish for wanting this, but I would sincerely appreciate if people could hold off on writing fics for this particular AU. (simply vaguely inspired by the aesthetic and want to do your own thing inspired by but not set in this AU? Please go right ahead, credit for inspiration would be appreciated)

The reason why I request this is because this is literally just the initial post, testing the waters, a background synopsis and image aesthetic introduction, a prologue if you will to the main show, a comic series I hope to illustrate. I have intentionally and carefully omitted and glossed over many plot-essential details in the synopsis because they will be revealed in the main plot, or are part of a plot twist. Many details included in the synopsis may seem random or unimportant now, but may tie into important things in the actual story. Many things may also intentionally be confusing because they are meant to be shown in visual form (like the Medals). Other massive parts of world building are purely visual and will never be directly acknowledged in writing, but I hope that some people who pay close attention will catch them, and this may have a pretty big impact on how you perceive the AU setting as a whole.

The point is, the entire synopsis text is a very selective snippet of information meant to provide context for my main comics. It does not at all give you the full picture, nor is it meant to, because then what would be the point of the story? ^ ^; I spent a very long time planning this, not only alone but also with a friend, and I present what I do to you now for a reason.

Again, I am incredibly flattered that people feel inspired and want to read more, and I do understand personal preference and perhaps people would prefer a text-only fic where my comic-format story telling may be unsatisfactory. But please understand that it can feel a bit…well, demotivating and pressuring when I know that people are rapidly using my synopsis for their own stories, not because I am offended that it inspires creativity, but because I’ve very carefully planned this out combined with how time consuming comic-drawing can be. I do not want to feel like I am competing with others to tell my plot twists first. So if at all possible, I would like to request that I get to tell my own story first, the story that the post was created for.

If for some reason you do not wish to grant my request, please understand my wanting to not see your posts, not because I am not interested or do not respect your creativity, but because of the reasons I stated above.

Thank you very much for your understanding, and I sincerely hope that you will support and encourage me in finishing this AU. m(_ _)m

Ummm this isn’t exactly coming out the way I wanted it to so calling it done and being done with it now.  ’^_^

(more Thrawn fanart)

Welcome Home

The first time Nursey visits the Poindexters, it’s the winter of his and Dex’s junior year, and he had just come out at home. The Nurses took the news…less than well, and being at home was thoroughly miserable, so Dex had invited him to his house in Maine for winter break.

Derek’s intimidated, because these people are important to Dex and they’re apparently all pretty conservative and Derek has never, not once in his life, been able to make adults like him without changing some aspect of who he is. So he goes out of his way to impress them. He turns on his charm with Dex’s siblings, chameleons into the Nice, Respectful Young Man he knows Dex’s parents will want, and he wraps his chill, unflappable exterior around him like a blanket. 

However, he’d forgotten to consider Dex in this equation. Dex skypes his parents every Sunday after church at 1:00 sharp, and he updates them on his life at Samwell, the team, and (now that he too is out) his boyfriend. Dex won’t stop talking about his boyfriend. So the Poindexters know the chill is bullshit. They know that he shapeshifts into whatever personality will be expected of him in a given situation. They know that he loves poetry, and reading, and that despite his love of words he frequently misplaces them when he doesn’t have time to write them down. They know he likes weird indie music and drinks expensive coffee not because it’s trendy but because he genuinely loves good coffee. They know he’s a complete klutz. They know that his parents have been freezing him out at home since he came out, totally ignoring both him and his queerness, and that when Derek forced them to acknowledge it at Thanksgiving, they snapped and the ensuing verbal lashing had left him a complete wreck when he returned to Samwell. And by now the Poindexters also know that this boy makes their son happy. 

Consequently, when he shows up in Maine, Nursey arrives to discover that he’s already been virtually adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Poindexter. He’s welcomed with open arms into a loud and crowded home, asked leading questions about himself that force him to talk about his actual interests, and drafted into the ranks of Dex’s tormentors by the Poindexter daughters. And after the big family dinner, once everyone but Dex and his parents have dispersed for the night, he’s asked about his situation at home, and how they can help.

He thinks he finally understands why they got under each other’s skin so much, way back in the beginning of it all: Dex’s fire, the unrestrained emotion that drove him, set off all of Derek’s internal alarms because caring about anything that much, that openly, was dangerous. Caring that much only got you hurt. But Dex’s family cares so deeply and openly that Derek’s armor of complete composure came off as complete indifference. To the Poindexters, it seems, indifferent is the worst thing a person could be. 

And in the wake of this revelation, Derek looks helplessly over at Dex. His boyfriend is wearing the look Derek used to think was a glare but now knows as concern: eyebrows drawn in forehead furrowed, lips pressed thin and mouth turned down at the corners. His thumb is gently tracing circles in the back of Derek’s hand, and his heart feels like it’s about to burst, because this is what he’s always wanted: this family, Will’s presence beside him, the instant and unconditional acceptance. 

It’s now that he wonders if he’s found a home. 


TYL! Mafia! Tsuna and his Son

//I only did one stage of editing so sorry for any mistakes;;//


         Tsuna groaned, woken up by the sudden slam of his office door crashing into his wall. He would’ve shot the person but honestly at this point it was more of a hassle (though in no ways did that mean they were getting off scot free he could just toss them to Mukuro for punishment later).

         “Who the hell…?”

His eye twitched just barely making out the person in front of him. His head was pounding, more than usual. And if the fact that he was too tired to keep up appearances weren’t enough, the crackling of is bones really cemented that fact.

         He had been up all night approving documents, ordering hits, weeding out traitors, downing three bottles of Polish Vodka- the usual. But it didn’t mean he had to like it (he really didn’t have a choice did he?).

         “Apologize,” the male voice demanded.

        Now what fool would dare to-

         “I said apologize!”

         Tsuna finally looked up, waking from his groggy state. He raised a brow at the boy in front of him.

        “What are you doing here-?”

         “Don’t you say my name!” the boy interrupted, clenching his fists in anger, “I hate you more than anything father. I’m not even sure I can call you that now after what you’ve done.”

         Tsuna sighed. What did he miss another holiday or a family dinner? You’d think by now his own damn heir would know the importance of running a family.

        Tsuna got up from his office chair circling his way to the front of his desk before leaning his lower half on it.

        “What did I do to warrant this much hostility from my own son?”

         His eyes flared- Sky flames burning closer to the flames of Wrath. “You know damn well what you did!”

         Tsuna retraced his steps seriously wondering what he did wrong.

         Nothing came to mind.

         So he merely shrugged, his own eyes shifting hues. Though his son’s colour was vastly sharper since he was too tired for this shit. “What did I do exactly?”

         He bit his lower lip, his hands quivering at the sight of this man feigning ignorance. He knew that he couldn’t do much. Even in this state, Tsuna was much stronger than he was. It was like a prideful lion looking down at an alley cat- the differences outweighed heavily.

         But he refused to falter. “You. Are. Nothing. But. Scum.”

         “Did you hang around the Varia again?” Tsuna crossed his arms, in an effort to reprimand the child in front of him (you were better at this than he was). “Xanxus isn’t exactly the best influence you know.”

         “At least he has enough pride and chivalry to keep his damn promises!”

         Tsuna glared intensely. It wasn’t as if he hated Xanxus nor did the opinions of other, lesser famiglias mattered to him but nothing could take out the worm whispering in his ear. So to say those words -coming from his own son no less- struck a chord with him was an understatement.

        “What are you trying to imply?” He said, an underlining threat evident in his voice.

        “YOU CHEATING ON MOM!” He spat with venom.

        Tsuna froze, his blood turning cold.




        (It was last week when an allied famiglia of his got wiped out resulting in losing nearly hundreds of able men. He went to bar to drown out his worries and let’s just say not even his Sky’s harmonizing factor sobered him.)

        Tsuna’s proud stance faltered slightly knowing he was guilty- but he refused to admit it. “It was just a drunken mistake.”

        “You forgetting a meeting. A mistake. You accidentally pulling the trigger to a passing bystander. A mistake. You forgetting your own anniversary. A mistake.” His voice shook, anger coursing through his veins. “You getting piss drunk, going to a motel, fucking some woman, not telling anyone, then feigning ignorance is. not. a. fucking. mistake.”

        “Watch your tone,” Tsuna grumbled refusing to submit to his guilt, “you don’t speak to your father like that.”

        “Are…Are you serious?” He took a step back- not out of fear but genuine surprise at the bullshit his father was spitting out. “YOU ABANDONED MOM! EVEN AFTER ALL THE SHIT SHE HAD TO GO THROUGH TO PAMPER YOUR SORRY ASS! SO EXCUSE ME FOR MY ‘TONE’ WHEN MY OWN DAMN FATHER BASICALLY STOMPED ON HIS WIFE’S HEART!”

        Tsuna gritted his teeth, his nails digging into his palms. He inhaled slowly trying desperately not to explode in anger. He was definitely not pleased with his son’s behaviour but he had nothing to retort with, damn it.

        “Do you know one thing I hated about you the most?” His eyes bore into his own- the two skies conflicting for dominance. “The fact that you were always a damn hypocrite.”

        He took Tsuna’s silence as his cue to continue. “You always told me something. Hell, I even heard from all your guardians in one way or another! You said… You always fucking said… You never wanted to become a ‘useless, unloving dad like your grandfather.’”

        Tsuna braced himself for what was coming next.

        “Well guess what?” He let out a wry laugh. “Grandpa visits mom more often in the past year than you have your goddamn life!”

        (If that statement wasn’t the brutal truth that pierced his heart, the way his own son held more affection to Iemitsu’s title than his was definitely the thing that tore it.)

         “You know out of all the things you taught me, out of all the things you forced me to learn, I actually listened to one of them.” He sounded much more confident, seeing his father avoiding direct eye contact- something Tsuna drilled into his mind at a young age. His wrath mixed with the satisfaction of rebelling against his father sent adrenaline pumping through his veins. “Thieves are worse than any criminal.”

        (He wished Reborn was here to shoot him in the goddamn head. He would feel less pain than this situation now.)

         “You stole mom’s heart.” Stop. “You stole her life.” Stop. “You stole her happiness.” Stop. “You stole her future.” Quiet. “You stole mine too.” I said quiet. “You stole any chance mom and I could’ve been happy and kept it for yourself! And what do you do with mom’s trust and love? Ignore it! Abandon it! Trample it!”

         Tsuna fingers dug into the desk he was leaning on, the crackling of wood burying deep into his flesh- leaving pools of blood to leak out.

        “And I’m glad I can finally say this to you deadbeat son of a bitch.” He smirked, knowing there was nothing more he needed to hammer the nail on Tsuna’s grave.

        ”Fuck you.”

        And with that, Tsuna was left alone in his office the sense of dread eating away his skin.

        Not only did he lose his wife and son, he lost himself.




        The sky lost and crumbled under its own weight.

Day 12: Magnus + Fashion

His favorite image to wake up to was Magnus lying down in bed beside him, sunlight streaming in to further illuminate that gorgeous face, caressing the angles and planes that was the masterpiece that was Magnus Bane’s face.

His second favorite thing? Waking up to Magnus prepping for the day. Especially when he had no idea that Alec was awake at that moment, and watching him to do so. It gave Alec a chance to both admire and marvel at how Magnus, even when he thought he had no audience made it a big production.

It was in the way he laid out all his jewelry pieces, index finger lightly tapping his bottom lip as he stared at them all and tried to determine which piece he was going to wear that day. It was the way those lean fingers then reached out for each of those pieces, lightly running over them. It was in that brief smile when he found what he wanted and put away the pieces he wasn’t interested in wearing that day.

Alec had asked him once. Asked why he always chose his jewelry first, before he decided on his outfit. Magnus had smiled and told him that it was because choosing his jewelry was the easiest and less time consuming part of him getting dressed. The process that followed after, was way longer.

And he was right. Because next came choosing his outfit.

Keep reading

2 hours later


“The answer will come to us,” Todd echoed.

Farah’s grip on the steering wheel was tight, muscles tensing from her fingertips to her shoulders. Give her another minute and she would start muttering profanity under her breath and run over pedestrians by cutting corners.

“But will we know they are answers?” said Farah. “Or would we just pass them by without thinking and then we lose it? Or do the answers only come when Dirk’s around? What if Dirk’s the–the magnet for all things tangential?” Her voice stretched like a tensing rubber band and Todd was bracing himself to be snapped with it. “Or maybe–we do get the answer but what do we do with it? What if the answer is a blue chicken? What do we know what to do with a blue chicken?”

A beat.

An answer will come to us,” Todd said, slightly deflated.

Keep reading

we all know how bad isak is at maneuvering the internet™ so what if even helps isak get to know the gay side of the interwebs (beside the gay test of couse)

even introducing isak to gay youtube like:

  • “you never watched a coming out story???” and then proceeding to show him the ones that helped him come to terms with himself
  • showing him cute couples that vlog (and picking up their catch phrases)
  • “actually there are also gay people on youtube whose videos don’t revolve around being gay. like there is this science channel that even i like to watch and they are a gay couple” and isak is really surprised that they exist

even going “isak you know you don’t HAVE to buy every film you want to watch, right?”

  • and then showing him his favourite gay lovestories including, but not limited to, “The Way He Looks” and “Jongens”

slowly easing isak into pop music again by playing him his favourite songs byy out and proud gay artists

  • think about them listening to years & years while cuddling in bed
  • isak quietly singing along to Troye Sivan 
  • even convincing isak to listen to Pentatonix and then spending an evening marvelling at their talent. he even gets isak to admit that Scott kinda rally is his type. 
  • Frank Ocean
  • feel free to add to this list
Family massacred in Portland

A community is in a state of shock after four children were found murdered, one left for dead, in their Portland home on May 9th. “I don’t understand,” says a neighbor who wishes to remain nameless. “They were all such nice kids. Things like this just don’t happen here.” The oldest brother has been reported as missing from the crime scene - Malachai, aged 22.

Police are reporting this massacre as “unfathomable” and “gruesome,” with murders ranging from death by hanging, to stabbing, and even drowning. Crime scene investigators were seen exiting the home in a state of shock. “Rest assured, we will find out who did this,” says Commissioner Gordon. “As a father, I will not stop until we catch this monster.” Gordon then pleaded for the community to respect the privacy of the massacre’s lone survivor.

Still, neighbors have come out in droves to pay their respects to what they refer to as “the nicest family on the block.” The well-manicured lawn may have been roped off, but the curb is covered in candles, teddy bears, flowers, and other offerings. The crime scene has been transformed with an out-pouring of support, fueled by an enormous sense of loss. A stirring testament to how well-liked this family was by their community.

The family was no stranger to grief, as two years ago they suffered a crippling loss in the passing of their mother. Since…

I really want to read the whole article. I’m pissed they didn’t let us read it.

Originally posted by thebonetrousler

apxlllo  asked:




Trucy would text Athena asking if she wants to hang out but Athena responds, “sorry, I have to go to a bird’s birthday party instead.”

Everyone definitely thinks that Simon is joking when he tells them all that Taka’s birthday is coming up and he’d like for them all to be there for his beloved hawk. And yes you’re so right Nahyuta literally cannot believe he has just been formally invited to Taka’s birthday party when he had to force Simon to have a party for himself, A PERSON WHO UNDERSTANDS THE CONCEPT OF BIRTHDAYS.

Klavier is so ready to laugh until he dies when he gets to Simon’s place, but Nahyuta sternly tells him that Simon has not treated something this seriously in a very long time. Klavier had better know how to play “Happy Birthday” on his silly guitar or else. It’s really hard to stay serious for his friend when Klavier sees them all putting on pointy party hats like how could he not be dying of laughter. But also Taka still looks weirdly threatening while wearing their own little party hat, so he shuts up and acts like a proper bird birthday party guest.

Honestly though instead of cake it’s probably just a ton of meat for Taka? (I don’t know hawk diets let’s be real.) But it’s all stuff that Taka rarely gets to eat so they got nuts when Simon brings it out. They barely get through “Happy Birthday” before big birb is squawking to be let at it. Simon takes pictures like a parent celebrating their kid’s first birthday and he doesn’t even care FIGHT HIM HE LOVES TAKA.

it’s literally so ridiculous and all of them are just so confused by what’s happening. Athena knew she should have expected Simon to do this, and Nahyuta is just mostly astounded that his brooding prosecutor bf is THAT much of a dork. Klavier is also rather surprised, but he’s so glad to know that Simon is such a proud birb dad.

I love this idea TOO MUCH

Destiel Superhero AU

I still want to read/write a story (hint: writing is unlikely to happen) where superhero “Hunter” aka Dean Winchester is called to a crime scene and comes across a super villain he has never encountered before. This creepy guy is all shadows and oozing black slime and he calls himself “Leviathan”. He’s very clearly very evil and Dean is elated because ‘lo and behold, he’s finally found his arch nemesis. His parents will be so proud.

But it turns out not everything is all that clear cut. Hunter and Leviathan play a game of cat and mouse (it’s not all that clear who the mouse is in this scenario though Dean would like to believe he’s the cat, I mean hunter, hello) and Dean slowly starts to realize that something is weird about Leviathan. Weirdly familiar too. It’s those inkly black eyes that sometimes show a glimmer of bright blue. It’s how Leviathan’s crazy muttering sometimes sounds so tortured and pleading. It’s the way Leviathan somehow seems to shy away from actually killing people.

Then there’s that encounter where a rooftop chase ends on a high building and their fight takes them to the very edge and then Dean makes a fatal mistake - he missteps and looses his balance. He’s about to drop from a very great height, and not even Hunter will be able to survive that. A split second before he plummets to his certain death, however, he finds himself suddenly caught in tendrils of black goo that catch him and yank him back from inevitable doom.

Looking up in surprise, Hunter sees Leviathan’s shape as the man clings to the edge where he must have flung himself in order to catch him. What surprises Dean most are the skeletal wings unfolding from the black goo that is always surrounding Leviathan like a living thing.

As soon as Hunter is safe, Leviathan vanishes like a shadow and Dean is left with a myriad of questions. He can’t help but remember the mysterious winged superhero who pulled him and his brother from the house fire threatening to engulf them, who then proceeded to save Dean’s mother too before vanishing into the night, never to be seen again. Dean had been searching for this man for his whole life, becoming a superhero in the process, but no one ever saw “Angel” (that’s the nickname Dean had given to the unknown superhero whose face he never saw) again.

This episode completely lacked any stakes at all honestly, rendering all the conflict meaningless. 

Kate is bleeding to death after massive bloodloss? Just give her an instant blood transfusion–blood transfusions don’t work that way and she shouldn’t be able to walk after that and Seth should be faint if he gave someone enough blood to revive them from death but who cares. 

Richie gets captured by Amaru but all she does is chain him up and keep him out of commission, despite the build up about Richie and Amaru’s connection, Richie’s Xibalba radio, shadow Richie being a part of Richie now, and Amaru wanting Richie on her team because he’s so dangerous? AHAHA. Like Richie would ever really be in danger. Like there would be any follow through on his storyline. 

Richie is trapped in Xibalba? Nah he can just walk out. It’s fine. 

Kate needs to go to hell to take away Amaru’s power in order for the others to defeat her? No, it’s totally fine if she comes right back. That won’t affect anything negatively. 

Kisa being nearly defeated by Amaru was the only time anything felt remotely dangerous for the characters. Everything else felt incredibly cheap, like the writers couldn’t be fucked to let anything have real lasting consequences, to let sacrifices be made, to have any of the danger mean anything because everything needs to be wrapped up and a-okay.

An Insight: Thoughts, Feelings, and Baggage

Quick disclaimer: This is not an “Oh, pity me.” sort of a thing, just some genuine thoughts I’ve been having.

Do you ever wonder if you’re just not cut out for a relationship / supposed to be alone? (I know ‘supposed’ is an indicator of a faulty thought process and my use of the phrasing ‘to be alone’ further develops negative self talk, because being alone, in and of itself, is not a bad thing.)

I’ve found that, looking back, I’ve been the one to end all of my relationships (except one). All of these relationships *could* have been happy, healthy supportive relationships, but they just didn’t feel right at the time. It was like there was something more I had yet to learn; there was something I had yet to experience. 

I’m constantly bouncing back and forth between desiring that connection and closeness that come with a relationship and the incredible independence I value so highly. 

Along the way I’ve met a lot of people who maybe I would have ended up happy with and who might have ended up happy with me - but I tend to look at their lived experiences and where they are currently and compare it to where I am and where I want to be. I suppose it stems from being with someone for 4 years who, when I finally got my dream job with my dream nonprofit, decided to make me choose between it and him. I don’t want to be held back or miss out on my personal goals and ventures because of who I’m with, but being made to choose was an easy decision that has hurt ever since - I’m wounded, and worry that the memory will always impact how I interact with potential partners. I’m worried I’ve become self-sabotaging. 

Or maybe I am meant to dedicate myself fully to my work so I can better serve my underrepresented students, my students from rough home lives, my students of color, my students from low socio-economic backgrounds, and my students who just need someone to care. I know I can do and have both, but I’m wondering if I’m supposed to.

Every time I meet someone who I know would stay and we would both be happy together, I talk myself out of it. Usually for the fear of losing the friendship, but it all ends up with the same result.

I do not feel hopeless or lost. I don’t feel despair or as if no one will ever love me, but I hope that, one day, I will be able to share my life with someone who has a similar motivation, ambition, and goals. Someone who wants to better themselves everyday. Someone who is a complete, complex individual who won’t lose those unique parts of themselves - interests, passions, hobbies - when they do become part of a relationship. It’s so important to me that whomever I date doesn’t lose their identity to become “a relationship” - it should still be me and that person as individuals, but also “us”. I want someone I can grow with, who can mutually grow with me. Someone who sees life as an adventure and isn’t afraid to go out there and tackle it head on. 

I’m happy on my own, so whoever I end up with should add to that, and I should add to their happiness, too. I’ve just got a lot of thoughts this morning.

virginia valley gothic
  • a shifting in the treeline makes you think you are being followed. somewhere, someone dons their camouflage jacket. 
  • you cut through the mountains to go home, but you never feel your car climb at all. it seems like a straight shot even as the air around you begins to thin.
  • when it rains, the air fills with the stench of raw meat, of fresh manure, of a can of dog food being popped open and held under a fan. the locals say you’ll get used to it.
  • some of the farms have no animals on them, no crops in sight, but rows and rows of storage units. you wonder what they could be storing so much of. 
  • the side of the barn has been blown out from the inside, but by who– or what– you don’t know.
  • a lonely confederate flag hangs above a rickety porch door; around the corner, a handwritten sign preaches god’s hatred of man. 
  • in the distance, further south, you hear the low groan of a house’s foundation slowly retreating into the swampy earth.
  • the train crawls slowly along the tracks, blaring its horn, and as you wait to cross you feel eyes watching you from the dark inside the open train cars.
  • downtown, bluegrass and appalachian folk songs blast from every shop, every car radio, every open mouth. the deafening cry is raised to the heavens and as time goes on, you can’t help but find yourself joining in.
  • at your rival school, everyone whispers jefferson’s name under their breath, silent as a prayer. they fervently believe he’ll return for them one day.
  • you’ve begun to be able to tell the difference between towns as you drive; or at least, that’s what you tell yourself. 
  • you’ve never seen the peak of the mountain. always, clouds or mist get in your way. you think one day you’ll climb up there and discover it for yourself.