this did not turn out the way i wanted

American Gods Lemon Scented you:

  • Gillian Anderson never ceases to amaze me. Every single performance is exceptional and completely riveting. Just when you think you know what to expect she pulls the rug out from under you and gives you the unexpected  
  • Mr. Wednesday’s face as he checks out Media… loved it, Shadow Moon’s face as he looks at Media… 
  • Her little “Ahem” to get Mr. World back on track and her face when Mr. World turns to her for validation during the last line part “It was a good line”
  • The way she knocks out Technical Boy’s teeth with a simple kiss 
  • The way she exists with the best line and Mr. World follows after her. (I wonder if she didn't have a greater motive for punishing him personally. Either she did it because she wanted to and it was expected of her or because she knew Mr. World’s punishment would be far greater if she did not intervene)  
  • (I completely forgot to mention her portrayal of David Bowie) Brilliant! she didn’t raise her voice or her hand… Every single low spoken word carried enough weight and meaning without her having to make any grand gesture at all. The way Media carries herself… cold, calculating, formidable 
  • Now I really can’t wait to see her as Judy Garland and her interaction with Easter.  “There’s a moment where they have a moment.”

anonymous asked:

I just turned seventeen and the day after my birthday my parents told me they're getting divorced. I can't move out til I turn 18 and my mum wants me to live with her but I want to live with my dad (or preferably you?) any tips on how to tell my mum I don't want to live with her?

There is no easy way to do that. I’ve never been in a situation where I wanted to let my mother down easily. What I did was flip her off and walk out to maybe don’t do that? I’m not much help with mothers and people that have good relationships with them.
-Sirius

10

Clexa AU - Clarke and Lexa are paired together after Kane’s orders and they have to share the same room/bed.

A request from @celebritiesandmovies

2

Producer Jeff Bhasker faced a daunting task several months ago. After having worked with Kanye West and winning Grammy Awards for producing Mark Ronson’s “Uptown Funk,” and Fun.’s 2012 album “Some Nights,” he had to decide whether to take on a new project: the debut solo album of One Direction member Harry Styles.

“I’d just had a baby, and I was kind of like, ‘Eh, I don’t know if I’ll jump into this,‘” Bhasker tells Variety. He agreed to have Styles come over to “just talk,” and proceeded to put him through the Bhasker home sniff test. “My dog tends to bite people, and he was kind of scoping Harry out,” Bhasker explains. Styles “did this move — like a little shoot the gun with his finger, and my dog walked over and started licking his finger. That’s when I was, like, ‘This guy has something special.'”

Once music came into the mix, Bhasker was sold. “He started playing references of what he wanted to do, which sounded like a cool rock band. I got it, and could see where if we pulled this off, it would be one of the coolest things ever. But he needed a buddy who plays guitar like he’s Keith Richards.” The insinuation being: Styles is the Mick Jagger in this scenario.

Adds Bhasker: “I’m so proud of the album itself, and also of Harry for being so brave, and committing 100%, and writing the kind of vulnerable lyrics that he wrote, and not pandering to what people thought he would do. People have no idea that this is what Harry Styles is like. Just like I didn’t know. He’s obviously very famous and beloved, but people don’t know the depths of what an amazing personality and artist he is.”

Variety spoke with Bhasker about the recording of “Harry Styles” ahead of the album’s May 12 release: 

Keep reading

Not All Men

“Not all men are rapists,” my Dad would grunt as he scrolled through his friends’ Facebook profiles and read the articles about sexual assault they’d posted.

“Not all men are abusive,” my Dad would mutter as he did research to disprove the domestic violence statistics that bothered him so much.

“Not all men are like him,” I’d mouth to myself, as Dad threw Mom across the room for having the temerity to contradict something he’d said.

After hurting her one night, he came to my room a few hours later. “You’re a sweet boy,” he told me. “I know you’d never harm a woman, no matter how much she deserved it. Not all men are like me. You don’t have a temper.”

I did have a temper, though. And I seethed.

Years later, I left for college an angry, confused young man.

Keep reading

Queerbaiting in BBC Sherlock

Note: Before you label me as a ‘butthurt LGBTQ fan’ (as if such a thing even exists), I’m straight. Because apparently that makes my opinion valid now.

What is queerbaiting? 

There’s a pretty wide definition, actually, but the one that’s most relevant here is: it’s when you make very heavy references to queer relationships or even queer characters in your shows, but then you never follow through on these references. It’s done to increase viewership and draw LGBTQ fans in (because of the promise of positive representation). So basically, it’s a marketing technique, but a harmful one.

Why is queerbaiting harmful?

Think of it this way. You’re gay/bi/a lesbian, and people around you aren’t very accepting or are plain homophobic. You see these two men on TV, and you start thinking…wait, it looks like they’re in love. You go online and realize that you’re not the only one reading the show in this way - there are literally thousands of other people interpreting it the same way. So you tell everyone around you, look at these two men. They’re gay and in love, and this is a popular TV show, and it means that my sexuality and my feelings are valid, and there’s nothing wrong with how I feel. Everyone laughs at you and says “Nope, they aren’t in love. You’re delusional.” 

You think, okay, let them laugh. When this becomes cannon, they’ll know. The queer subtext is all there, and the writers wouldn’t dare not follow through on it, right? But sadly, the queer subtext remains just that: subtext. And suddenly all the homophobes around you stand validated.

But there’s no gay subtext in BBC Sherlock. It’s just a wishful ship.

Wrong. I’m not saying that everyone has to ship Johnlock, but no matter what you ship, you can’t deny the gay subtext in this show. People have written thousands of words worth of meta about it - and it all makes perfect sense. (I believe @inevitably-johnlocked has a master list - or she can link you to one). There are videos decoding all the gay subtext -  let’s take the example of TJLC Explained - 48 videos, and they add up to a total time of 37 hours, 49 minutes and 41 seconds - each one decoding a different aspect of the gay subtext in BBC Sherlock. Apart from the TJLC Explained series, there are a lot of other videos doing the same thing. Sure, a small number of such videos and meta are a little far-fetched, but the majority of them are well-referenced, well-written, and properly decode the various literary tropes used by BBC Sherlock. (Like, seriously, kudos to this fandom for being the absolute best meta-writers I have ever seen. You could turn half of these metas in as proper college essays.)

But the writers and BBC have said that there is no gay subtext.

The problem isn’t even so much with Johnlock not becoming cannon - it’s with the way Mofftiss and BBC have responded to being called out for their bullshit. Yes, they did a complete 180 around the time of season 4, saying “that is not the story we want to tell” and “it has never been implied that John and Sherlock are in love”. When so many people, literally thousands, are reading your show the exact same way, it’s because you put the subtext in there. Saying anything else is an insult to our intelligence - and again, it’s blatant queerbaiting and feeding heteronormativity and straight culture.

*yawn* Heteronormativity and straight culture are myths.

In His Last Vow, if Sherlock had come back to life for Molly or Irene Adler, everyone would insist that he’s in love with them. There would be no question about it. He came back to life for John, but him and John are eternal bros, right?

That, my friend, is heteronormativity right there.

Basically, you’re bitter that your ship didn’t become canon. 

LOL. Read above^ you think anyone would put in this much effort just because ‘their ship didn’t become canon’? The Johnlock community is literally comprised of people of all ages, sexualities, nationalities, and genders. So honestly, pegging us as ‘horny teenage fangirls’ - bit ridiculous. We aren’t waving flags and going around yelling “It’s gay because they looked at each other!”, we’re actually ANALYZING and DECODING the show. Before you label us, go read some meta, then tell us we’re still delusional for believing Johnlock could be real.

Besides, I don’t see such an uproar happening about hetero ships. You know why? Because they have representation, whereas LGBTQ representation in media is still severely lacking.

But artists have the right to do what they want with their art. 

Of course they do, but if my art offended an entire sect of society, I think I’d at least apologize, instead of blatantly denying everything and insulting the people who called me out for my bullshit. 

Additions to this post here

6

Sense8 | You Want a War?

I have an idea.

BSOD in D&D

We’re playing a homebrew 5e campaign which featured a quest inspired by Alice in Wonderland.
While meeting the Queen of Hearts, our monk stuck her foot in her mouth and pissed the queen off, which resulted in our sorcerer (who always seems to have a plan for everything) having to surreptitiously cast one hell of a knockout spell that enabled the monk to escape. He and I faked being knocked out as well so as not to bring her wrath upon us too.

When the queen and her guards awoke, she started questioning the sorcerer about what had happened. Then she turned her attention to me (playing a warforged paladin).

DM (as the queen): You there- metal man. What did you see?

Not wanting to answer in a way that would throw off the sorcerer’s scheme, I had to come up with an adequate answer without giving anything away. Luckily, I just so happened to have a quip for just such an occasion.

Me (IC): System32 damaged. Rebooting…

*entire table erupts into laughter*

Sorcerer: I apologize, Your Majesty. He runs on Windows 98.

That time Rasa bonded with Daveth. (part 1) (part 2)

Suga Daddy: Part 7

Suga Daddy: Part 7

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Words: 9.6k

Genre: Smut, angst, dirty talk, dom!Yoongi

There is another gif in the story that describes the moment I was portraying. Ignore Namjoon’s name on it, lol. Anyway, enjoy :) 

Parts:  one | two | three | four | five | six 

Keep reading

By Way of Spontaneity (Part 2)

Summary: On a whim, Bucky declares you to be his girlfriend to his grandma and mother. They’re eager to meet you and he asks you to pretend to be with him for just one dinner with his family. But is that really all?

Word Count: 518

Warnings: None.

Part 1

A/N: Hope you all like this part! I’m so so so excited for the craziness that is coming!

Originally posted by little--batman

Bucky grimaced as he thought of facing you and telling you all about how you were invited to the next family dinner at his grandma’s house. His mom had squealed and Bucky swore that he had never seen his grandma run so fast until that very instant Bucky’s mom announced that he had a girlfriend. They had cooed and aww’ed over your picture for long minutes until Bucky sniffed at the air and asked if something was burning.

“My potatoes!” screamed his grandma, his mom hot at her heels.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he took a deep breath and stood before your apartment door. How was he even going to bring this up? You would never agree to this. Tony would never agree to this. After all, you were his girlfriend and Bucky should have thought twice about what he was going to say before he opened his big mouth.

Keep reading

One Last Thing

12x12 coda almost a week late (oops)

When they get back to the bunker, Dean is surprised to see Mom head toward the room they’d assigned to her all those months ago. He assumed she’d leave as soon as they were safely back underground. He’s still staring down the hallway after her when he hears Cas sigh.

He turns to find him slumped in a kitchen chair, his hands in his lap and his coat closed enough to cover the blood and black…goo on his shirt. He’s staring down at the table with a crease between his brow.

“You OK?” Dean asks gruffly as he takes a tentative seat perpendicular to him.

“No.”

Dean balks at the honesty but doesn’t say anything. He leans forward and folds his hands on top of the table. Somewhere in the direction of Sam’s room, a door opens and closes.

“I shouldn’t be alive,” Cas continues, still staring at the table. “I would’ve never…”

Suddenly Cas’ eyes pop up and past Dean as Sam enters the kitchen.

None of them say anything as Sam grabs a cold cup of coffee. Dean and Cas look at each other. When Sam leaves, Cas’ eyes find the table again.

“I wouldn’t’ve…said what I said,” Cas continues, hesitance clear in his tone, “If I had known…”

A couple of seconds pass before it clicks for Dean. “That you weren’t actually gonna die?”

Cas nods minutely.

Dean leans back, runs a hand up through his hair and then drops it to his knee. “Look, man, you know I ain’t good at this. But you are family, so…what you said…it’s not–it doesn’t–you’re not trying to take it back, are you?” What the fuck–that’s not what he meant to say at all.

“No, of course not.” For some reason, Cas sounds angry. “It’s just that I–nothing.” He quickly turns his head to the side, the way he used to do when Dean had hurt his feelings.

“Cas,” Dean says softly. He waits until Cas looks at him. “I was scared to death when I saw that…what that spear did to you. I can’t lose you, man. So, uh, tell me. Whatever’s on your mind, spit it out.” It’s too harsh, too casual, but anything else wouldn’t be Dean.

“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“What?”

Cas squints at him. “It was a declaration made because I thought it was the last chance I would get to tell you. I couldn’t die without telling you that I…that.”

Dean leans forward again and wipes his hand over his mouth. “You, uh, you didn’t make me uncomfortable. You know I’m not–I’m not very good at the whole, uh, love thing, but I know it’s there. I know we’re–you know, we’re good.”

Cas squints harder and leans forward so they’re only inches apart. “You knew I was in love with you?”

Hold on.

“That’s not–you didn’t–that’s not what you said, man. You didn’t say that.”

“Dean.”

That’s his “quit being a dense idiot, Dean” voice.

Dean huffs a nervous laugh and stares at the table. “Yeah, uh, this would be a hell of a lot easier if you had died.”

Now Cas is laughing, too. “We are terrible at this.”

Dean lifts his eyes shyly. Cas is studying him.

“Do you remember…” Dean stops and sucks in a breath. He shouldn’t be talking about this. “That day in the cemetery, when we all thought I was gonna die.”

Cas nods once but doesn’t say anything.

“I wanted to, uh, say something.” Dean smiles and scratches the back of his head. “Actually, I didn’t. I wanted to–to kiss you.” He winces in embarrassment.

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

Dean looks sharply over at him.

“If you waited until you were on the brink of death to kiss me, I would’ve killed you myself.”

“You waited until your deathbed to tell me you lo–”

Cas cuts Dean’s argument off with a kiss. It’s just a tentative press of lips, but Dean still lets out a needy, embarrassing whimper as it happens. When Cas pulls away, Dean mumbles, “Nuh-uh,” and grabs him by the cheek to pull him back in. His hip is digging into the edge of the table, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.

It’s sloppy and too fast and Cas is breathing heavy and whispering, “I love you,” over and over right against Dean’s mouth and it’s all too much and not nearly enough.

Later, in the pitch black of his room, lying breathless next to an angel, Dean tells Cas that he loves him, too.

The Case of the Bed Stranger

Stiles/Derek, T, 1.5K words, College AU

Written for the following prompt: The house party me and my friends threw kinda escalated and after throwing out everyone I found this half naked person passed out in my bed but I can’t be bothered to wake them up now so I’m just gonna go to sleep and deal with it in the morning, they are kind of cute anyway AU


“Erica,” Derek says calmly—very calmly, he thinks, considering the situation. It’s two in the morning, he just trudged back from the library with a pounding headache behind his eyes, and he comes home to find their apartment the site of a raging house party, with drunk undergrads everywhere.

“Hey, Der,” she says, with that wide grin that only comes out when she’s had one drink too many.

“You didn’t tell me you were throwing a party,” he says, his jaw clenched, and she scoffs.

“This? This isn’t a party. This is a, uh, just a little get-together.”

Derek rolls his eyes. “It’s finals, for fuck’s sake. I’m going to bed, at least turn the fucking music down.”

He pushes through the crowd—accidentally hitting some of them with his backpack, oops—and finally seeks refuge in his room. The noise is dulled, blessedly, when he shuts the door behind him, and he exhales, letting his eyes fall shut. His momentary calm evaporates, however, when he opens eyes and notices the very important fact that someone is currently asleep in his bed, sprawled out on his stomach like he owns the place.

All Derek can see is broad bare shoulders, messy brown hair, and half of a mole-dotted face, pressed into the pillow and currently slack with sleep. Huh.

Derek sighs. He’s fucking exhausted, he doesn’t want to deal with babysitting some drunk kid right now, and he really doesn’t want him to wake up and then throw up in Derek’s bed or something.

Plus, the traitorous little voice in his head says, he’s really cute.

Derek shakes his head, irritated, as he drops his backpack on his desk chair. He strips down to his boxers and skips brushing his teeth—he’ll do it twice in the morning, and people are probably fucking the bathroom anyway, Jesus Christ.

Derek pulls back the comforter and gently slides into the bed, trying not to disrupt the mattress before he realizes that he’s being ridiculous. Why is he even considering a stranger’s comfort? It all seems for naught, anyway, because this kid apparently sleeps like the dead.

He takes a quick peek under the blankets, and at least the guy’s still wearing briefs, thank god. Derek doesn’t want to have to worry about accidentally sexually assaulting someone in his sleep.

He flops over onto his other side—thanks to the king size bed, his only grad school indulgence, there’s plenty of room—and closes his eyes. He’ll deal with this shit in the morning.

Keep reading

Humans Are Actually Alteans

NOW HERE ME OUT. This is just something I’ve been thinking about since all Alteans can’t just be gone and it makes me too sad to think that Allura and Coran are the last ones.

So what I was thinking with how humans can be Alteans actually relates back to how the Blue Lion was created. In Voltron Force there was this arc explaining that five planets brought together resources to create the Voltron Lions, I don’t remember that arc very well but it made me think

“What is the Blue Lion was built on earth?”

Again hear me out, a loooooong time ago even more 10,000 years ago Earth was having an ice age people. It makes sense that the Blue Lion, Guardian Spirit of Water was built on a planet covered more or less 70% in water and ice. My money is that the Blue Lion was built underwater to be kept safe, along with the researchers, in an underwater city sounds familiar huh?

If that’s the case, maybe a couple hundred scientists, researchers, explorers, etc may have called Atlantis and Earth their home for a time but the planet was not very suitable for a mass population to live on which may factor in to why Earth has been left untouched by the rest of the universe. Anyway, moving forward it’d also be interesting if a few other species like the Merfolk and perhaps even other species humans could consider myths now were actually other alien species that remained on earth  

Now, why did they remain on earth? For this the first thing that came to mind was Ilos from Mass Effect. That when Zarkon and the Galra empire rose to take over the empire, the planets the Lions were built on were cut off from the rest of the universe to prevent Zarkon from conquering them and learning the secrets of the Lions

And like Ilos, the Altean research team could have put themselves in cryo perhaps to wait things out or for the Voltron Force to arrive, other species like the merfolk and even other Alteans could have lived and maintained the city along with others and they could have become keepers to the city and the Alteans but it couldn’t have lasted forever right? It would take a lot of resources they’d eventually have to journey to the surface when the ice began to melt

Some Alteans and other species that had lived on Atlantis chose to live on the surface, perhaps alongside the small human population that survived the Ice Age. The Alteans took their features to blend in and accepted their new home and the species. Only a handful remained in Atlantis, some Alteans, mostly merfolk since a few pods were left active, perhaps the Alteans with the most knowledge of their culture and Voltron.

Then, when the species began to intermingle. Humans and Alteans began to evolve into a new form of Alteans that lost their mystical abilities like manipulating quintessence from lack of exposure to its raw form or maybe even losing the art from it not being caught. It happens over long periods of time, these Humans/Alteans lose their long life spans and the Altean culture. They eventually lose the points of their ears and the markings on their bodies but evolve to adapt and survive in harsh environments so that’s how humans got their current appearance. Because really, they are the ONLY species we’ve seen that resemble Alteans, literally the only different appearance wise are the ears and face marks. 

Also I’m thinking around modern times human’s lifespans may have grown again to around 100-150 years but not nearly as long as the original Alteans (again, a Mass Effect reference, shh)

I’m not saying these human/Alteans lost everything about them that makes them Altean, but many of the information and culture was lost when Earth had to cut its ties completely to keep hidden from the Druids and Zarkon’s rise to power. There may even be some Alteans descendants that still remember the stories of their people and their abilities, some may even still have such abilities and watch over Earth

These Human/Alteans that still remember tend to retain their long lifespans and have been watching over the planet and protecting it, maybe they’re an order of sorts for them? They may have also helped humanity evolve faster through technological advances

Perhaps there are members among the Galaxy Garrison?

Now I’m going into more headcanon territory now but imagine if Sam Holt was one of these Altean/Humans? Or maybe he may even have been one of the scientists in the cryo pods who was one of the original scientists to work on the Blue Lion? Or maybe he was just a descendant that remembered  

Just, I’m not letting go of all that foreshadowing he said to Katie during the last family dinner that she will be a part of her own team and do something extraordinary. If he helped built Voltron who’s to say he can’t notice a potential pilot? Also, back to Sam being Altean, he’d jump at the chance to be on a mission to travel out to Kerberos, the furthest humanity has gotten out to space he’d give anything to go out there and see the universe again because how much do these Alteans really know about how damaged the universe has become?

And everything is great! That is, until Sam and the Kerberos crew are captured and his hopes are shattered by the state of the universe and what Zarkon has done to it annnndddd that’s all I got 

Well, besides an idea that Zarkon could potentially be rounding up any species/people that have Altean blood in them because they could still be a threat to him and perhaps he has a prison for them? Has them experimented on? Maybe even turns them into whatever Haggar is. After the Haggar is Altean reveal there must be more Alteans out there, I just like to think they’re a little closer to home haha see what I did there 

ANYWAY If anyone wants to expand on this idea go for it, and please tell me about it, also I just really wanted to find a way for the Altean race to keep living on even if it’s in a different form, this may even apply to other Alteans around the universe, they’re still alive just in different forms and shapes to survive

And to end on a happier note anyone who wanted a valid reason for Altean Lance YOU’RE WELCOME

Penelope & Derek’s Matchmaking Service

Originally posted by theonewiththevows

Prompt: The reader and Reid both have a crush on the other person but are too scared of ruining their friendship to tell the other person. Penelope decided to give them a little push and drags Derek into her mischevious scheme.

A/N: This was an idea that popped into my head because I could definitely see Morgan and Garcia meddling in their coworkers love lives. I’m not opposed to making a part two of this, so let me know if that’s something that you would want. Also, anyone who can catch the subtle F.R.I.E.N.D.S. reference that is in here somewhere is my favorite person ever. Enjoy :)

Note: (Y/F/C) = your favorite candy

Warning: nothing

Word Count: 3k

Rating: PG


Penelope sighed in frustration as she watched you and Spencer alternate staring at each other. It was almost painful the way that neither of you actually caught the other doing so. It was like some form of fate caused you to look away a second before Spencer decided to look up. Derek noticed her standing in the doorway. “Hey Baby Girl,” he called and walked over to her. She muttered a “hello” before huffing and crossing her arms. “Whoa whoa whoa, what’s the matter gorgeous? Those processing systems in that big brain of yours hung up on something?”

“How does it not drive you crazy?” she mumbled and Morgan raised an eyebrow at her. 

“How does what not drive me crazy?”

“The two of them!” she whisper-shouted and spun around walking off toward her lair. Derek rolled his eyes, but obediently followed her down the hall. 

“Gonna need a little more information sweetness,” he told her, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Oh c’mon, do I need to spell it out for you? (Y/N) and Spencer. The way those two are pining after each other it’s both sickening and sweet at the same time. I’m not even a profiler and I can tell that they are head over heels. I mean I know (Y/N) is because she told me one night when I got her super drunk with the intent of forcing the information out of her, but that is beside the point,” Penelope explained as she pulled up the bullpen’s security video feed and maneuvered the cameras so they were facing you and Spencer’s desks. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m people watching.”

“Do you do this all the time?” Morgan asked standing behind her chair.

“Only when we don’t have a case or anything else to do,” Penelope defended, “You would not believe how boring it gets in here and you people never come visit me!” 

“But why- you know what nevermind. Just please tell me that you don’t mess with the cameras in my office.”

“My vision, you are the object of my affection but for the most part my attentions have been focussed on my current OTP as you never do anything interesting in your office.”

“Forgive me for actually doing work instead of making googly eyes at my coworkers.”

“So you have noticed!”

“Of course I’ve noticed. The whole team has noticed. The only ones in the dark about it are the two of them,” Derek chuckled. Penelope smiled as she watched the two of you. You had gone over to ask Spencer something, but he had been so focused on his work you’d startled him and he’d almost spilled his coffee all over himself. 

“They are so cute,” she sighed, “Derek I want my OTP to be together!”

“Somehow I don’t think we get a vote or have the power to make that happen,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. Penelope suddenly perked up. 

“But what if we did?”

“What are you talking about?” he asked as she spun her chair around. 

“What if there was a way that we could force Reid’s hand and make him admit something or ask her out?”

“Baby Girl, Reid has specifically told me that he doesn’t want me messing with this. You think I haven’t tried to get him to make a move?”

“He told you that, but he never told me,” she chirped, turning back toward her computer and started typing away. She pulled up a website for custom floral arrangements and started clicking on various options. 

“What are you doing?”

“Creating something that all of you men hate. Competition,” she replied, patting the side of his face. A few more minutes of meddling the order had been placed, ready to be delivered tomorrow morning. 

“Why do I get the feeling I’m going to be the one he blames for this?” Derek sighed shaking his head. 

“Ha, do not worry my vision. If all goes bad, we pretend like it never happened,” Penelope told him.


You walked into the bullpen the next morning smiling happily as you carried two cups of coffee. You glanced around looking for Spencer, before nonchalantly setting one of the cups down on his desk and arranged the mountain of sugar packets you’d also brought into an orderly pile. You quickly scurried back to your desk and sat down, trying to look casual as you waited for Spencer to arrive. “No coffee for the rest of us, I’m genuinely hurt,” Derek teased, as he sat down on your desk.

“Hey, the only order I remember is Spence’s because it’s the easiest thing ever: a large black coffee and then just bring the whole container of sugar to him,” you replied trying to casually look around him. 

“Uh huh,” Morgan muttered, clearly unconvinced. 

“Good morning,” Reid said as he walked over to his desk past the two of you. 

“Hi, Spencer,” you chirped, “I stopped for coffee this morning and brought you some.”

“Thank you so much, you would not believe the morning I’ve had. How much do I owe you?”

“Don’t worry about it,” you replied tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“Well, thank you. Did you know that coffee was banned three times in three different cultures: once in Mecca in the 16th century, once when Charles II in Europe banned the drink in an attempt to quiet an ongoing revolution, and once when Frederick the Great banned coffee in Germany in 1677 because he was concerned people were spending too much money on the drink,” he rambled. You smiled and shoved Morgan off of your desk, so you could actually see Spencer. 

“Well, I didn’t know that, but I do know that banning coffee should be a crime,” you giggled. Reid smiled back at you and opened his mouth to say something but suddenly went pale. “What’s-”

“I have a delivery for a Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” a man said cutting you off. 

“That would be me,” you replied, turning around. “What can..I..do..” you stuttered as you came face to face with a huge vase of lilies and red roses. 

“Sign here please,” the delivery man said, handing you a clipboard and setting the vase down on your desk. You scribbled your signature down on the form and handed it back to the man. “Have a nice day,” he said walking away. 

“Yeah, you too,” you muttered still too focussed on your flowers. 

“Oh my god, those are gorgeous,” JJ mentioned as she walked over to your desk. 

“Who are they from?” Emily asked, joining the two of you.

“I have no idea,” you replied, pulling the card off the side of the vase. 

“Read it,” JJ urged leaning in closer. None of you noticed that Spencer had unconsciously leaned closer to the group as well trying to listen. 

“Nothing can ever compare to your beauty, but these flowers are certainly a nice way to compliment it. I hope these make that lovely smile of yours appear on your face, signed your secret admirer,” you read out loud and closed the card. 

“Oooh, this is interesting,” Emily said nudging your shoulder. 

“Any idea who it could be?” JJ asked. 

“Not a clue,” you replied, sitting back down in your chair, “I’m not seeing anyone and no one has asked me out recently.”

“Anyone who you hope it is?” 

“Yeah, but considering he hasn’t shown the slightest sign of interest I’m pretty sure it isn’t him,” you mumbled. Unbeknownst to you, Spencer had wandered away into the break room fuming. This happened every time he’d finally work up the courage to ask you out on a date or flirt with you at all something would happen. Morgan would come interrupt,  Hotch would suddenly announce that you had a case, or in this case, some jerk would write you poetry and send you flowers. He downed the rest of the coffee that you had bought him and started making another cup. 

“You ok, Pretty Boy?” Derek asked watching Spencer stir the coffee quite angrily. 

“Just peachy,” Spencer growled. 

“Ya know, you could just ask her out. (Y/N) has no idea who sent her those flowers,” Derek casually mentioned. 

“Ha yeah right, I’m reasonably certain she’d rather have fancy flower man whoever he is,” he grumbled. 

“Fancy flower man? Really Reid, that’s the best you can come up with?” Derek asked trying not to laugh. 

“I have plenty of other vulgar things I could call him so don’t push it.”

“Hey, I’m not the one encroaching on your girl, but I would recommend you do something about it before you loose her to fancy flower man.”

“You think I should what?”

“Well, you’re her friend. I’m pretty sure you can find a way to top the giant array of flowers that he sent her.”

“I definitely could,” Spencer muttered, deep in thought, “I need to get to work but first I’m going to get Garcia to figure out who sent those to her.”

“Uh,” Derek stuttered, trying to come up with a way to divert him, “Why does it matter who it is? You should be more concerned with your plan to woo her, you can worry about who it was later.”

“You’re right. I’m going to take my lunch early. I need to go get a few things,” Spencer said and quickly rushed back to his desk to grab his wallet. Derek sighed in relief, happy that he’d managed to redirect Reid’s thought process, and made himself a cup of coffee. Your sudden presence in the break room caught his attention. “And where are you going lady of the hour?” he asked sipping his coffee.

“I’m grabbing another sugar for my coffee and then I’m going to get Garcia to find out who this admirer person is.” Derek did a spit take and started coughing. “Whoa, you ok?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. But maybe you should just let this play out? See if he reveals himself to you?”

“Derek, I just want to know who it is so I can tell him I’m not interested. There’s only one guy who’s attention I want and he seems to not really care.”

“Sweetness, Reid is a great guy just a little awkward and shy when it comes to ladies, you might try being a bit more obvious about it,” he teased. You furrowed your brow and slowly turned your head toward him. 

“How did you know I have a crush on Spencer?”

“I’m a profiler and I’m really good at my job.” Derek replied.

“Yeah sometimes I forget what we do for a living.”

“And the fact that Penelope can’t keep her mouth shut,” he muttered quietly to himself. Just not quiet enough.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing!”

“I’m going to kill her!” you growled and stormed off toward Penelope’s office. 

“No no no, wait!” Derek shouted as he chased after you. You tore the door open and walked in. 

“Hello my lovely, what can I do for you today?” Penelope chirped. You narrowed your eyes at her before flicking her on the side of the head. 

“OW!” she shrieked. “What was that for?” 

“I cannot believe you told Derek that I like Spencer. I told you that in confidence and you swore you wouldn’t tell another soul,” you fumed.

“Technically you told me that while you were drunk.”

“Same thing!”

“But you know I tell my chocolate thunder everything, so you should’ve expected this.”

“Ugh, my life is over,” you whined. “Spencer is still acting weird and now some stranger has sent me flowers. Can you make yourself useful and tell me who sent those at least?”

“I take offense to that comment!”

“Who told shared a secret that she swore she would take to the grave?”

“Fine,” she muttered, “but I already know who sent them. I looked it up earlier.”

“Then who is it?”

“It’s uh, Brian in payroll,” 

“Brian in payroll?”

“Mhm,” she mumbled, twisting a piece of hair around her finger.

“Uh huh, does Brian in payroll have a last name?” you asked crossing your arms.

“Yes, yes he definitely does.”

“Yeah? What it is then?”

“Well, I can tell you that it is most certainly not Morgan or Garcia.”

“Penelope,” you groaned. “Why would you do that?”

“I’m just trying to spice it up, you know force our dearest doctor’s hand.”

“Yes and in doing that you’ve managed to scare him. He took off fifteen minutes ago,” you grumbled flopping down in the chair beside her. 

“Aw, sweets it’s gonna be ok.”

“My life is over.”

“Hey look on the bright side, at least you got some bitchin flowers,” she said trying to lighten the mood. You lifted your head and glared at her.

“Not funny.” 

“(Y/N), you need to get back to your desk and take a look at this,” Derek said as he walked into Penelope’s office.

“And you! You knew she was going to do this and you didn’t stop her,” you growled and stalked over to him, poking his chest. 

“As upset as you are right now, I really think you should just go back to your desk. You might like what you find,” Derek replied pushing your hand away. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“If this is another part of this BS plan you two have going on, I’m going to kill you both,” you grumbled, stalking down the hallway. 

“What are you doing?” Penelope whispered at Derek, as they followed you. 

“Just watch,” he replied with a smug look on his face. You were expecting to see yet another bouquet of flowers that the two of them had sent to you, but you certainly weren’t expecting this. Your desk was scattered with various pieces of paper and rose petals. A large white teddy bear was sitting in your chair with a bouquet of gardenias nestled in its arms and a bag of (Y/F/C) tucked in beside it. You stood rooted in place out of surprise until Derek gave you a slight nudge. You walked forward and picked up one of the pieces of paper. You smiled as you recognized Spencer’s handwriting and started reading. It was a poem by Christina Rossetti, one of your favorites actually “I loved you first”. You had talked about this with Spencer months ago, when you both discovered your shared love of poetry. From the looks of it, he had managed to write down all of your favorite poems on these little notes (probably including a few of his own favorites) and put them all over your desk. You plucked the bouquet of gardenias out of the bear’s arms and smelled them. 

“Red roses traditionally symbolize love and passion while gardenias’ symbolize pure, secret love which more accurately displays how I feel about you,” Spencer mumbled from behind you. You immediately spun around and dropped the bouquet back in your chair, before throwing your arms around his neck and crashing your lips into his. He seemed to be stunned for a few seconds, before kissing you back and wrapping his arms around your waist. Hoots and hollers came from all around the office, mainly from Penelope and Emily. You separated a little breathlessly and rested your forehead against his. The pair of you were smiling from ear to ear. “Please tell me this isn’t a dream,” he muttered closing his eyes. 

“Nope,” you replied popping the “p”, “I’m real.”

“So I take it you like me too or else I think you’ve been sending some very mixed signals.” You chuckled and kissed him again. 

“Does that answer your question?” you asked, after you’d pulled back. 

“I think it does, and to think I had a whole speech planned out to make you at least go on one date with me,” he replied scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. You just shook your head and smiled at him.

“That’s so sweet, but how on earth did you have time to set this up? I couldn’t have been gone more than fifteen minutes,” you said, turning slightly to look at your desk,

“14 minutes and 23 seconds actually, but I’ve had the notes sitting in my bag for about a week now,” he told you. 

“Ok, that’s enough, back to work all of you,” Hotch said, commotion having finally drawn him out of his office. There was a collective “sorry” muttered from around the office, before Hotch turned his attention to the two of you. “Do we need to have a conversation or can I trust that this isn’t going to affect work?”

“I think we’re good,” you answered. 

“Good, now I need to call Dave and inform him that he owes me twenty bucks as do the two of you,” Hotch chuckled motioning JJ and Emily. The two women groaned slightly before reaching for their purses. 

“Wait, what?” Spencer asked raising an eyebrow, keeping his arms wrapped around your waist. 

“To make a long story short, we started a pool going for how long it would take the two of you to get together after three months of watching the two of you flirt. I had yesterday, Hotch had today, Rossi had tomorrow, and JJ had next Monday,” Emily explained as she walked up the stairs and handed the money to Hotch, who gladly pocketed it and went back in his office to presumably call Rossi who was off on vacation time. 

“I cannot believe this! How many people in this office are invloved in our love lives?” you cried in frustration, even though you were smiling. 

“Wait, who else is involved in our love life?” Spencer asked, looking down at you confused. 

“And that’s our cue to run chocolate thunder,” Penelope muttered, as she took off running dragging Derek along behind her. You shook your head and laughed, all irritation suddenly vanishing. 

“Wonder what that was about,” Reid thought out loud, as you unwound from his arms and moved all his gifts out of your chair. 

“Don’t worry about it, just remind me to tell Brian from payroll to send her some flowers,” you told him. He looked very confused but just shrugged and kissed your forehead. You grinned up at him, knowing that this was the start of one of the best times in your life. 

“A Secret That’s Worth It” Carl x Reader, Negan x Reader

Word Count: 9,670

Negan x Daughter Reader, Carl x Reader

Summary: You’re Negan’s teenage daughter and from the minute you saw Carl, he sparked your interest, leading to a relationship between you two.

Warnings: Language, fluff, angst, mentions of death, kinda smutty 

A/N: Does not follow the show exactly, I had to change up some things for the sake of the story, but I tried to make it as close as possible.


Originally posted by lets-letmeimagine-posts

Originally posted by lets-letmeimagine-posts


He was the first person you noticed when you stepped out of that RV.

He was wearing a flannel and a cowboy hat, and even with one of his eyes covered up and it being dark out, you could see how bright blue they were. You didn’t know his name, but you certainly were attracted to him.

Your father, Negan, had told you to stay inside the RV while he went out there and talked to them. He had told you that he was going to kill one of them and that he didn’t want you to see that, so you needed to stay away.

“Y/N, I do not want to see you out there. Your ass better stay in here, alright?” Negan had warned you. You didn’t listen. You had heard him talking to their group, and you got curious. All you wanted to do was see what they looked like, nothing more. You opened the door slightly and peeked your head out, making the attractive boy turn his head and look at you. They all did, but he was the only one you noticed.

“Dear daughter, did I not tell you to stay inside?” Negan bellowed. You knew he was trying to scare the group- that was his way of being a big, bad leader. He intimidates everyone. And by the look of everyone’s face, they were definitely afraid.

Keep reading

Context: Our group was on the way to a town a bit farther away. Our Rogue did not want to walk all the way, so e suggested to simply wait for a carriage and hijack it. The first few carriages are dismissed by the whole party, by the last one, the rogue is getting desperate and definitely wants to hijack it. 

The carriage turns out to be a man and his obviously pregnant wife. They consider to stop, but don’t. We then get informed that this might be due to the presence of a gnome (me) and their fear of changelings. 

Me: So, what shall we do, throw me at the woman?
Rogue: That’s a great idea. (Turning to DM) I wanna throw the gnome at the wife.
DM: (turns to me) Okay, roll for Initiative then, to see of you have the chance to struggle… 
Me: Actually, I am totally okay with getting thrown at the wife.
DM: …You’re okay with it. Alright (turning to Rogue) roll for strength then.
Rogue: (completely messes up the strength roll) 
DM: So, the gnome is not even close to getting thrown at the wife. Roll for reflex. 
Me: (rolls a nat1) So that means what now?
DM: You hit the wheel face first and get stuck in it. The carriage is still going further. 
Half-orc: Well, I step in front of it. 
DM: That makes the carriage stop. (turns to me) Roll again to see if you can free yourself. 
Me: (rolls a 2) So, I’m still stuck. 
DM: Yes. 

Next is the clerics turn, who gets me out of the wheel. The DM then explains what the carriage’s driver will do. 

DM: So, the driver whispers something to his wife, who goes into the back of the carriage. He then hits the horse so hard it rears and starts galloping away. (to the half-orc) What do you do?
Half-orc: I stay where I am. 
DM: …(sighs) Roll for reflex. 
Half-Orc: (rolls a 2)
DM: …So, you try to jump out of the way, but stumble, fall down and get run over. You probably should get someone to heal you. I can’t believe it, we’ve been playing for an hour and a half, we haven’t even really started the campaign yet, but you already got two people seriously injured.