this did not turn out how i wanted

2

One of the writers, Kevin Fox, was telling me, “Just wait. In a few episodes, it’s going to turn.” I never really took it to heart because to me it was much more important that Mariska was coming to me and saying that I was doing well and that they were giving me more episodes. That really meant a lot to me. It was my first TV show, but I’ve also done a lot of plays and I’ve been panned in plays, but you don’t let it affect you. You can’t get bogged down in that. You have to bet on yourself, bet that what you’re doing is good. Even if that turns out not to be good, at least you know that you did what you wanted to do and you didn’t let somebody’s opinion of you guide you. 

Peter Scanavino discussing how he handled the initial negative fan reaction to Sonny Carisi (x)

It Truly Is A Good Night When I Know You

I sat in the dark and thought about you. I’m not ashamed of you. I just wanted to see you as clearly as I could. I want to stare at you until my eyes flipped inside out and turned negative to everything but you. Because you’re my honeymoon. If mine were to end, I would miss your sweetness and how you stuck to me. You always did.

I want to rent out a hotel room; eat dinner; joke about how they put my detractor’s hearts in this dish (“they taste like smoke from a gun, spitting out dust and disease…”); pretend to have a semblance of control of myself and sleep early, stay up all night because of you; wonder if your lips taste softer than my pillows or dreams coming into incarnation; run experiments like testing how slowly your heart beats when I tell you that I love you, and be astounded when it runs faster than my thoughts of you; and arise in the morning with red eyes from crying out how beautiful you really are…just not by myself this time. Because you’re my honeymoon. And if mine were to end, I would miss your sweetness and how you stuck with me. You always did.

After all the insanity in my life these past months, and then the shock of almost losing Jinx… And still not knowing if he’s dying…. I found myself wondering if I should just quit all of this.

Quit Tumblr, quit Dragon Age, Quit writing. Was any of it worth it? Did any of it matter? It takes so much attention to feel even barely relevant. Do I have that energy anymore? Will I?

I’ve wanted to reach out about how I’ve been feeling, like this part of me was just disappearing, but I didn’t want to seem like I was calling out for attention…. Or perhaps worse, that no one would notice.

Ugh… I hate that about myself…. Whatever.

But anyway… tonight, I turned on DAI for the first time in a loooong time to play with my mom, and I started to feel that happiness again. I love this world. I love this story. I love these characters. I can’t quit, it makes me feel too good. I need this escape. I need you guys. I need all of this desperately.

anonymous asked:

Who said I love you first w/ Tsuyu! ^^

Asui Tsuyu

Who asked who out first?

Tsuyu asked you out first. She’s very forward with her feelings, and though she battled with it for some time, she did want to see how you truly felt about her. She’s happy she pushed through all her fears and worries because asking you out turned out to be one of the best decisions of her life. 

Who initiated the first kiss?

You do. She has a bit of trouble sensing the mood at first and doesn’t know when to move, and if it had been up to her, she probably wouldn’t have kissed you until months in your relationship. She’s happy that you took the initiative, though, and learns from your example. 

Who said I love you first?

She did. It’s after a rather dramatic hero moment, when she realizes just how dangerous and tragic being a hero can be. She wants to tell you before anything bad happens to her, because she wants you to know her entire heart belongs to you. 

Who would have the others picture as their phone background?

She doesn’t often use her phone, so she hadn’t even considered using you as her phone background until she saw she was yours. She of course changes it immediately, because she doesn’t want you to feel underappreciated. 

Who proposes?

You. She’s completely taken off-guard when you pop the question, her entire face turning read despite the years you’ve been together. She still manages to keep her calm, taking a deep breath before she accepts your proposal and tells you she couldn’t wait for the future. 

Who does the dishes?

You switch on and off. To not get too annoyed at each other, a system is made that changes who does what chores daily. You can switch them around if you really don’t feel like it, but it’s a system that keeps the house peaceful and clean. 

Who’s the first to wake up in the morning?

You both wake up around the same time. Tsuyu is very adaptable, mostly waking up early but she’s had her moments where she’s slept in if she doesn’t set an alarm. You moving around in bed is what would cause her to wake up with you, because she’s a relatively light sleeper. 

Who gets to pick the movie type on movie nights?

You guys switch back and forth weekly. Tsuyu has a wide range of taste in movies so she doesn’t mind any movie you pick, though there’s a few that really speak to her that she wants to show you and is eager to hear your opinion on. 

Who lavishes the other one in gifts?

She’s not much of a gift person and has a hard time picking them out unless you expressly have an interest in something. She, however, loves cute little charms (especially frog and other animal themed one) thus making you shower her in the cutest ones you could find. 

Who worries more about the other?

Tsuyu has confidence in your skills to keep yourself safe and she knows you’re intelligent, so she doesn’t worry often. You worry she may do some drastic one day, but she has a good head on her shoulders, so she doesn’t make you worry about her too often. 

anonymous asked:

i'm so mad at Ken Penders right now. fuck him!

I honestly don’t think the blame shouldn’t be placed on Ken Penders, in the case of the Archie Sonic comic’s cancellation announcement. The publisher, Archie, is inept as hell as a company, and it was clear they were trying to find a way out of the license for awhile now. As far as I’m concerned, the lawsuit with Penders, and the one with Fulop, gave Archie more of a reason to not renew the license. In other words: Ken Penders was a big part of things turning out how it did, but not the main reason.

But no matter where people want to point the finger at who or what might be responsible for the comic’s fate, I think we can all agree on this: Ken Penders is being very unprofessional in response to the news.

Dude, seriously, what a fucking opportunist asshole! A bunch of fans are clearly upset that a series they invested around nearly two and a half decades worth into abruptly ended, and there are people who are now out of jobs. What does Ken Penders do? He basically goes, “How can I rub it in and take advantage of the situation?” As if the guy couldn’t go any lower than he already has. At this point, the guy’s probably passed the center of the Earth and emerged on the other side of this planet, he’s hit that new of a low!

Okay but this post with it’s Sterek moments that were missed by one of them.

Imagine there has been a lot of pining and misunderstandings throughout the years but now Derek is happily together with someone because Stiles never said anything.

And then a witch comes by and shows each of the pack their greatest missed opportunity/moments; you know kinda like ‘how your life could have turned out if this and that happened/didn’t happen’.

And she shows Stiles all the things he missed about Derek and the ones Derek missed about him.

The thing is Stiles is already kinda broken and barely holding it together under all his deflecting and now the witch is just driving in the last nail to the coffin that he and Derek could have been.

Stiles snaps at the witch what a bullshit this is; if only all of this could have gotten them together it doesn’t look like they were meant to be after all because there are a lot of missed moments, a lot of opportunities.

But this time it’s the witch who laughs in his face because even one of them, even one single moment would have been enough to bring them together and all of them would have led to the same result. It wasn’t even like they needed to get the right one out of all of them. Any moment would have done.

When the witch leaves most members of the pack try to at least come close to the life they could have had but not Stiles. He sees how happy Derek is now, how far they have come even though they are not together and it’s called a missed opportunity for a reason. And Stiles is not about to destroy even one ounce of happiness Derek has.

top 10 phan moments that make me wanna rip my heart out

yeah, just ten moments among hundreds, let it be part one or something. tell me what i’ve missed because i want more suffering in my life.

10) mind control.

i mean, i appreciate the subtlety. i crave those tiny moments that you only notice when someone points them out to you. but this! you can’t miss this one, this moment is shoved down our throats. this is so “i’m allowed to do that to you, to be in your personal space, and gaze into your eyes for no reason, just because i want to”. and phil’s face in that moment, so much joy and mischief, he claps his hands and gazes back.

9) chest touch.

drama queen howell strikes again, it hurts to rewatch it srsly, why is he so extra? but what is phil doing ladies and gents? he slaps his chest in the weirdest way possible, he brushes it, it’s like he wants to shove him but reassuringly and the movement happens so fast you have to pause for a second to comprehend it. that sweet gentle boy is so fond of dan’s unnecessary commentary and yeah, it completely distracts us from what dan is saying at that moment.

8) feel my heartbeat.

was that necessary, really? like, i don’t ask my friends to feel my heartbeat when i’m scared, that was such a “horror movie at first date” bullshit, that’s not what people do?? and when dan does feel that beautiful hummingbird heart, phil just covers his hand with his own palm because yes, you gotta feel it very close, no air between your hand and my chest. dan immediately looks into the camera to show us that yeah, i know you’re there, nothing strange, and makes a comment about phil dying. wow.

7) phil the delivery man.

i don’t know what to say. it’s so simple but why does phil have to make such an act of bringing dan his charger, why does he talk in that stupid voice?? they have a banter, and then phil FIXES DAN’S CHARGER FOR HIM, like what?? who asked you to do that? where’s my IT guy au (literally, he’s got glasses, look at him). and before he leaves he plays the piano that nerd, what an attention seeker, and then bows!! is he tipsy? did he have a pre-liveshow orgasm or something? dan laughs fondly and it’s all i need in the world.

6) child beer.

what’s happening and does it even matter. phil’s hiding on the floor, but why? to surprise us? eh whatever. so he’s got that magical japanese powdery stuff and he wants dan to taste it. the biggest problem for me here, ahem, i mean the thing that just kills me every time is that phil spends the whole time (eight minutes) on his knees and he looks so cute when he makes that beer, holds it close to the camera, and then lets the foam sit so dan can have the ultimate child beer experience.

it reminds me of that hot chocolate video, where he does something so trivial but he’s so gentle and loving about it. i still don’t understand why they didn’t do a simple taste test like bros, but phil had to make it for dan, he wanted to see his reaction. and then he tries it as well, touches the glass rim with his lips at the same place where dan’s mouth just was (gross).

and i just can’t ignore how that boy sneaks past dan’s room after that, he’s playful, he stops to say that he googled something and dan was wrong, and domesticity, i wanna die.

5) sleeping phil on tour.

i kinda wanna talk about the angle here because i don’t understand how it was filmed (camera is pretty static, dan’s hand reaches from the side, not behind), but i don’t know if it matters here. what matters is how gentle dan is. of course, he starts with classic nose tickling, which is what “messing with a sleeping friend” usually implies, but then he frees one strand of phil’s hair and just lets it fall. wow, fantastic prank, dan.

and let’s separately discuss that pout/kiss phil does after he opens his eyes. i know you want a slow mo replay, so here we go:

that’s what i call “im gonna stay asleep but i love you”. where’s the nearest cliff so i can fling myself into abyss?

4) the look.

context what context. why did they keep it? why did they put it on fullscreen instead of hiding in the corner? two full-length looks dan, really?? you know what he looks like, why do you have to examine him like that in front of us you slut. and it just passes, without acknowledgment, they just turn back at us simultaneously and I’M STILL DEAD at that moment, i don’t care what happens next.

3) snoot. proot. (i just filmed you doing that)

i don’t even care what it was. something about piano sounds or whatever, but this video haunts me. THERE’S SO MUCH TO IT. first, phil is lying on dan’s bed (at least in the official version it’s dan’s, not mutual), just chilling?? and dan’s working i guess. so they are not actually doing something together but it’s a cozy evening, why would they spend it in different rooms? dan says something, idk, and phil replies “yeah” in that deep voice I SWEAR i haven’t heard from him before. dan makes the sounds again, like can you believe he’s an actual dork in real life, it’s not an act, he’s actually the weirdest boy alive, and he so obviously doesn’t know he’s being filmed. because when phil says “i just filmed you doing that you’re so weird”, he’s so delighted, he laughs at himself, he turns around, his hair is pushed back omg they are both so sleepy and i rejoice. i think this video gives us a rare but fantastic insight in their everyday life, phil must be keeping so much silly videos like that on his google drive and we never get to see them BUT SOMEHOW he posts this one, probably because dan is cute and he wants everyone to know it.

2) you loved it. you wanna do it more.

so, yes. you know this one. where do i even begin?? they play this dragon quiz and then 1) phil says “you loved it” in the strangest voice, like the voice we never hear from him, it’s deeper and quieter, he looks at dan even though dan’s not looking back; 2) dan is looking down as if he’s fiddling with an ipad or something, it’s almost a bts moment, something they would usually edit out. AND THEN THREE SECONDS OF SILENCE while dan kinda processes what’s going on and phil still looks at him expectantly. seductive as fuck. and now this quiet “alright”, i’m just… dan looks like he’s gotten the hint, so he’s a little embarrassed and they share the softest laugh. 

the thing is, we know how often phil makes sexual innuendos and dan always reacts the same way: he looks into the camera, he throws a witty comment in, he puts it on display to show us that there’s no intimacy in that moment. but not this time. i don’t understand why they didn’t edit it out. i just… don’t.

1) pantless liveshow
this is the ultimate. this is the weirdest and the most awesome thing these two gave me and i’m not even sure what can top that. the moment when phil decides to grab the humidifier and show us, he looks at the screen, says “one second” and stands up very awkwardly while dan turns the laptop away from him and makes the weirdest “how you doing” face. 

WHAT THE FUCK. did they think we were so used to them weirdos that we wouldn’t even notice that shit? but fuck, they do it again, they want to show us the spray and dan goes “should i go get it? you have to do phil’s corner”. like, i can’t function, i honestly can’t. AND THE WORST PART is when dan returns and we can see him covering his legs with a blanket just too fast like it’s not that cold boy come on.

i have no explanation and i have every explanation. i don’t deserve all this suffering.

okay, i was in the car with my sisters (who are both cishet), and one of them asked, “how lgbt friendly is our town?”

i responded immediately with, “not at all,” at the same time my other sister responded with, “well, it’s not *that* friendly.”

i was asked by both of them as to why i was insisting that no, our town (which is extremely small and can be summed up by the school, btw) is not lgbt friendly. i told them that so many kids threw around the f and d slurs, as well as calling people gay as an insult, and also, they make those “did you just assume my gender/i identify as an attack helicopter” jokes. keep in mind, i’m genderfluid and a lesbian, so yeah, these things are both *pretty* harmful to me. (granted, i’m not out to my family, so them not listening to what i had to say wasn’t (too much of) a problem, but that’s not the point.)

my other sister, who said that our town was *kind of* lgbt friendly, said, “well, yeah, but you’re going to find that in every school. what i mean is that no one - or at least most people - is going to get turned away for being gay.”

and you know what?

no.

throwing around homophobic and lesphobic slurs and making homophobic and transphobic jokes is not “lgbt friendly,” no matter how normal it is. these things harm lgbt kids (i.e., me), and drive anyone who wants to come out further into the closet. i’m out as a lesbian to all my friends, but i would never dream of coming out as genderfluid to them, and you know why? it’s because they laughed at (not even made - laughed at) those “did you just assume my gender?” jokes. i’m fucking petrified of being myself around others because of these jokes. (goddamn jokes).

so no, our town is not lgbt friendly. i don’t give a shit that *most* people won’t get kicked out of their homes for being gay. as long as gay, trans, and nonbinary kids are being ostracized and pushed into the closet, our town is not lgbt friendly.

if you aren’t lgbt, you need to hold yourself to *way* higher standards than you are now. just because you wouldn’t kill your friend for being gay doesn’t mean you’re a good ally. if you throw around slurs (yes, even jokingly), if you call people gay as an insult, or if you make any of the “attack helicopter” jokes, you’re a shitty ally and an even shittier human.

(yes, cishets can reblog this - in fact, it’s encouraged.)

Spiders With Books || Peter Parker Imagine

Pairing: Peter Parker x female!reader

Word Count: 1345 words

Request: can u do a peter parker/spider man imagine where the reader is a nerdy girl whos nose is always in a book and one day shes talking with her friends about spiderman and they run into each other or smth and the cute books falling thing happens and peter does everything he can to flirt with her and ask her out

No spoilers (i don’t think there are spoilers)

AN: I don’t think I proof read this very well

Originally posted by koenigreus


The bell rang to signal the next class. Everyone in ​Y/N’s class stood up and rushed to the hallways, but Y/N got up slowly, too focused with the book in her hands. She picked up the rest of her books that were on her desk, holding them against her hip and headed towards the door. She finished the page she was on before focusing on the hurdle of bodies in the hallway.

Y/N reached her locker, her friend already standing there waiting for her. “Hey Y/N. How was history?” Michelle asked. Y/N shrugged her shoulders, “Same as usual, I guess. I finished my work early so I had time to get farther in my book.” Michelle chuckled, making Y/N give her a questionable look.

“Which one?” Her friend questioned, pointing to the set of books in Y/N’s arms.

She smiled, wiggling one of the books in her hand, with a smile on her face. She then went on and gave her a non spoiler review of the book, in case she wanted to read it. Y/N opened her locker to place her history textbook inside. “So,” Michelle started, “have you seen that video of Spider-Man on YouTube?”

Y/N raised a brow while she grabbed a few notebooks and a couple more books to carry and read through out the day, “Well, I don’t know which one you’re talking about but, I probably have.” She scoffed at herself, slamming her locker shut and moving to walk to lunch.

“Of course you have. Because you can’t have a crush on someone and NOT stalk them,even if nobody knows what they look like.” Michelle said sarcastically, watching the people in front of her bolt to their next class. Y/N lightly shoved her friend, stopping in the middle of the hallway.

Michelle stopped a few steps in front of her, “What?” She asked bluntly. The number of people in the hallway faded out, but the pair took their time to get to lunch.

“I,I don’t have a crush on Spider-Man.” Y/N scoffed trying to defend herself. Michelle rolled her eyes, “You’re kidding, right? You are totally are in love with him, you never stop talking about him. He’s the only guy I ever hear you talk about, besides Pe-he who shall not be named.“she corrected herself, remembering their code name, "You’re crazy about him.”

Y/N sighed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But how could I not like him?” She muttered biting her lip. “I’m gathering that this is no longer about Queens’ web slinger?” Michelle questioned. Y/N looked down, nodding her head.

Y/N’s friend sighed, “If it makes you feel better, I saw him staring at you at the Academic Decathlon team meeting yesterday.”

Y/N crinkled her nose in disbelief, “Really? Everyone knows that he liked Liz, so why wasn’t he staring at her?” Maybe there was something on my face or my clothes looked odd to him. She didn’t want to get her hopes up. Michelle nodded her head, “But he was staring for a really long time. Besides I don’t think he likes her anymore though. ”

Before the conversation could continue, the two rounded a corner but, Y/N was met with the back of Peter Parker. “What are you-Oh shit,” He said as he turned around to see all of her books fall.

“I am so sorry, my friend kind of bumped into me.” He apologized emphasizing the second half of the sentence while glaring at Ned, moving to the ground to grab her books. “Oh hey guys,” Peter’s best friend Ned said to the two girls, giving them a quick wave.

“I’m gonna meet you at lunch. See ya later Y/N,” Michelle states walking away as the bell rang,“You too Peter.” She said giving him a mock solute. Unbeknownst to Y/N and Peter, Michelle gave Ned a look, silently telling him to come with her. He scratched the back of his head, “I’ll just head off with Michelle.”

Y/N moved down to the floor with Peter, to pick up her books. “I’m sorry, I’m just so clumsy.” She said, shaking her head and laughing at herself. Y/N avoided eye contact at all cost, a blush appearing on her cheeks. Peter looked up at her, pausing his actions.

“It’s cute.” Peter said boldly, shocking himself. Peter had a couple of her books in his hand while she had the others. “You have a really good taste in books.” He said, standing up from the floor and then grabbing her arm to help her up after him.

“Thanks,” Y/N said, a small smile on her face. Peter still hasn’t let go of her arm and when she looked at his hand, he immediately pulled it away. He cleared his throat, before speaking to the girl.

“M-Maybe you can give me some book suggestions sometime.” He stuttered out. She stood there with wide eyes shocked, was he trying to ask her out.

“Or, maybe not. Maybe you don’t want to talk to me. I’ll just, ummm, I’ll leave.” He cursed himself, turning around to walk away. “Wait, Peter.” Y/N grabbed his arm and he spun around.

“I do have a couple books in mind.” Y/N said with a side smile. Peter smiled widely at the girl, handing her books back to her.


Peter’s point of view

“How did that robbery go last night?” Ned asked Peter as the two walked to Peter’s locker. The two boys had lunch next period and Peter didn’t want to carry anymore heavy textbooks in his backpack anymore (despite having super strength). “It was awesome. I beat their asses.” Peter said enthusiastically, but got quiet when he realized that they were still in school.

Peter and Ned were just about to round a corner when they heard two other people talking in the hall. Michelle and Y/N talking about Spider-Man. Peter was about to walk when Ned pulled him back, “Dude what the heck?” Peter said, looking at Ned like he was crazy.

“Hear me out, we might be able to eavesdrop on them. See how much she likes Spider-Man.”

Peter gave his best friend a look, debating whether or not this was a good idea. He pressed his back against the wall, “Only because I trust you Ned.”

The two heard a voice say offended, “I-I don’t have a crush on Spider-Man,”

Peter looked at his friend with hunched shoulders, “What did I tell you?” He whispered. Ned was about to say something when they heard their friend Michelle start to speak, “You’re kidding, right? You are totally are in love with him, you never stop talking about him-”

Peter turned to his friend shocked. Ned only smirked, “Maybe this was a good idea, she has the hots for Spider-Man dude.” They focused back onto the conversation the two girls were having, but they heard the subject change. “ I saw him staring at you at the Academic Decathlon team meeting yesterday.”

Peter stood there, shocked yet again, “Oh, no, oh lord.” He said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“Weren’t you staring at her at the meet- ohhhhhhh,” Ned concluded, realizing they were now talking about Peter.

“Really? Everyone knows that he liked Liz, so why wasn’t he staring at her?” Y/N stated, kind of surprised at her friends statement.

“Dude, I think she likes you."Ned whispered. Peter glanced at his friend, thinking about how unreal it would be if she liked him. "And I’m sorry bro.” Ned finished.

Peter moved a step away from the wall, tilting his head, confused at his friend’s statement. “What are you-Oh shit.” He started but couldn’t end the question due to Ned shoving him backwards towards the girl he liked.

BTS reaction to overhearing other members talking about their s/o

Seokjin: Jin overheard Jimin talking about you. “Have you guys seen y/n round an juic- OH HEY JIN!?” Jin is the type of guy that doesn’t get jealous that easy on the surface so he’d start joking around to mess with Jimin while dying on the inside.

“You mean her butt? Ahh yes, my jagi is beautiful but you better stop talking about her like that. You wouldn’t have even a little bit of a chance considering that you’re so small, you can’t even reach the things on top of a shelf”

Originally posted by jungkookiescookies

Namjoon: The most jealous guy ever. He’d hear Taehyung talking about you in your dress that you wore the other day. “Hot! Smoking hot!” Being angry as fuck he ran towards him. After a little talk he’ll eventually calm down.

“Smoking hot? Are you talking about yourself after I set you on fire? She is MINE, you know that.”

Originally posted by yoonseok

Yoongi: He’d be the most annoyed but also really subtle about it. He’d overhear Hoseok being pervy as always talking about how much cleavage you show. “It’s really hot. I mean I’d be a bit concerned if I was Yoongi, probably a lot of guys are hitting on her” Yoongi would just sit casually besides Hobie and change the subject after his comment.

“You’re right, but I was hoping at least my best friends would not talk about her like that.” 

Originally posted by minshoot

Hoseok: Hoseok is a weird ass guy. He’d be kinda proud of being your boyfriend and ignore the fact that Jungkook just talked to the others about you. “…and her hair! All around from top to bottom. She’s bomb.” Like Yoongi he would just join the conversation.

“I know kookie, this is my girlfriend how did I deserve her? Anyway aren’t you a little bit to young for her?”

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Taehyung: Tae knows what’s his and he is very protective of you and… JEALOUS. But only when you aren’t around. He’d overhear Namjoon’s kinky comment. “I’d like y/n to call me Daddy.” Jealous Taehyung mode on. 

“Well I guess it’s good to know that she SCREAMS Daddy while I eat her out and doesn’t have time to think about you.”

Originally posted by taemybae

Jimin: Cute mochi would be angry as fuck. Jin wanted to make one of his jokes but it turned out quite unpleasing for Jimin. “..to see him like this we need something better. I know! Y/n needs to get naked starts laughing” 

“Hell no, Jin. You better apologize.” 

Originally posted by bangtanroyalty

Jungkook: Usually Jungkook is the typical cocky and jealous type but his hyung Yoongi accidentally said that your his type. “I’d do her. Oh, I’m sorry Jungkook I forgot.” Kookie would get so angry on the inside but remain calm on the outside

“Of course… No, no problem. Even though it was quite inappropriate.. What, no I’m not mad”

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

YOUR BITCH IS BACK!!! And I’m better than ever.. not. Thanks for still liking and rebloging my posts. The school year is practically over so I have more time now, yeay!