this dialogue oh my god

Oh my god. There is an ambient dialogue on the tempest between Jaal, Cora, and Vetra, where Cora is explaining snakes and ladders and?? Both Vetra and Jaal are so outraged??? I’m crying laughing Jaal gets so indignant, says something like, “why would you play a game like that with children?” Please bioware give me so much more stuff where we explain human stuff to aliens it’s the best.

  • Machimiya: And I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you people.
  • Fukutomi: What?
  • Machimiya: Well, I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget. [clears throat]
  • Machimiya: Arakita, you're 6'11", and you weigh 90 pounds. Makishima has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Izumida, you're a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted. Kinjou, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Toudou, you've slept with so many girls you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Shinkai, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Fukutomi, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Naruko, where's Naruko? Well, there you are. I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Tadokoro, you crush your girlfriend during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Imaizumi, you are... [starts giggling] Imaizumi, you're gay.
  • Imaizumi: Wow.
  • Machimiya: Onoda, Manami called, he thinks you suck and you're gayer than Imaizumi. Boom. Roasted.

I know I know, I promised that I wasn’t going to spam more Gehrman shitposts until Monday… then this thing happened.

And I almost choked on my drink.

I never got this line in Italian before, probably because is one of those lines that you get after exhausting the main dialogue and basically repeats the same things but OH MY GODS the  d e l i v e r y.

I’m so dead.

@bensica, @nightmaredaisy

Nor I You (Alistair/Warden)

Pairing: Alistair/Warden, Alistair/Eryn Cousland

Fandom: Dragon Age

Rating: T

Summary: Have you ever licked a lamp post in winter?

Alistair made a fool of himself constantly, he was always quick to confirm it.

But he really did it this time.

Have you ever licked a lamp post in winter?

What in Andraste’s name was he thinking?!

Then again, their conversation didn’t start out innocent either. They were talking about previous friendships and relationships they had before they became Grey Wardens. He found out she had only kissed a boy named Gilmore when she was young enough to have pig tails and that was one of her closest friends at Highever. She found out about his awkward attempt to kiss a village girl at Redcliffe.

Then, she said, “Since you grew up in the Chantry, have you ever…”

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