this d*ck

Is It? (Part 5)

Summary: Now you knew it was true. He was cheating on you and you were moving on. Now he wanna pop off about it?  Part Five to “Is it?”

Genre: Angst

Word Count:1341

AN: Chapter five is here!!! Two chapters on the same night! What?!? (Sorry, I’m tried lol) This
one is slightly shorter but it was originally combined with Chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it.

are not mine. Credit goes to the original owner.


You’d been at work thinking about your date all morning and you couldn’t help but quietly squeal in complete glee. You were surprised when afternoon rolled around and you still hadn’t gotten a text or call from Jihoon. You were thinking that maybe he’d finally given up and realized that things were over. It was looking like it was going to be a good day.

Until your assistant popped her head in. “Uhmm…hey”

“Hmm?” You answered without looking up from your computer

“Jihoon is here.” She said timidly

You fingers stopped moving across the keyboard. “I’m sorry, you
said what?”

She took a deep breath. “Jihoon…He’s here…”

You closed your eyes and rubbed the bridge of your nose. ‘So much
for a good day.’ You thought.

You didn’t even get a chance to tell her to send him out or to let
him back. He just said excuse me and let himself into your back office.

You didn’t stand up when he walked in and closed the door behind
him. You folded your arms and adopted that irritated smirk that your mama gave
when she knew she was about to catch you in a lie.

The two of you sat across from each other not saying anything for
a solid minute.

“Nothing to say?” He finally broke the silence.

“I’m honestly just trying to understand why you’re here.” You shot
back. You were in no mood for this.

“C Jamm told me he saw you out last night.” He leaned back in the
chair and folded his arms. You recognized this stance. He was settling in for a
fight. Good because you had plenty to say.

“He did. I don’t understand why you or him felt it was any of your
business.” You leaned back and crossed your legs. You let your arms remain on
the arm rest.

“It’s been two months and you already hopping onto the next dick?
I mean damn, I at least thought you woulda gave yo pussy a break.” He was serious.
His nostrils flared when he talked. He was really pissed off.

“I know good and damn well you not talkin. You! The same muh fucka
that was dickin down that bitch while I was at home waitin for yo ass.” You
immediately leaned forward in your chair.

“Were you fucking him when you were in California?” His voice was
barely above a whisper and was completely frigid. Some people would be frightened
by the tone but it only served to fuel your fire.

“No, Jihoon I was not! I’m not you! I understand what it means to
be a committed relationship. I wouldn’t hurt the person I claim to love like
that. You got a lot of nerve comin up in my shit questioning what I’m doing and
who I’m doing it with.” You were standing in front of your chair at this point.
Feet firmly planted shoulder width apart and leaning forward as you yelled. The
pent-up rage at what he’d done to you unleashing as he sat there.

“I did love you. Why do you think I keep calling and texting
trying to talk to yo ol stubborn ass? I want to make us right, again.” He
yelled back leaning forward himself.

You scoffed at that. “No, you didn’t love me. You think you loved
me when you lied to my face? You think you loved me when you pushed me to the
side for her? You think you loved me while you kissed her, held her, while you
were with her?” You roared you could feel your face burning in rage. You could
hear the blood pounding in your ears as you got everything off your chest.

“I loved you, Jihoon. I adored everything about you. I waited hoped,
prayed, cried and begged that I was wrong. I knew you wouldn’t do me like that.
Not you. You who I put above and before everybody else. I was faithful. Do you
think that temptation didn’t knock on my door? Of course, it did but I thought
we had something. I was good to you? Why would you do me like that?” You felt
the tears sting your eyes and grunted in frustration. You suffered from the
same thing a lot of people did, you cried when you were angry.

“Now you got the nerve to come here and ask me if I was fucking
around on you. No. No. and no some more. I would never make you question
yourself like that. I would never feed you lie after lie and try to make you
feel crazy for suspecting something. So, what you can do is get all the way the
fuck out my face.” You continued to scream at him. You’d crossed the desk and
now stood over him poking directly in his chest to punctuate your words.

“I don’t have to listen to this.” Was all he said as he pushed out
of the chair red faced and fuming.

“What? Mad because I’m telling the truth? Don’t bring your sorry
ah..” You’d’ followed him out into the main area and were brought up short.

“Oh, hoh hoh. I know you did not bring this bitch in here.” You
looked skyward and punched your now clenched fist into your open hand.

“Are you fucking kiddin me right now?” You looked at Jihoon with a
renewed flame of rage in your eyes. If it was possible smoke would be coming
out of your ears. He had the nerve to bring the woman that he’d let come
between you to your office to confront you about moving on.

knew that if you so much as glanced at her you were liable to beat the shit out
of both of them.

“How you bring your skeezer when you claim you trying to make us
work. You on that bullshit clearly!” You let out a humorless laugh. You
assistant immediately jumped into action pushing the girl out the door as
quickly as she could.

“I’m sorry. I really am. I don’t know why I didn’t think it’d ever
come to this. I honestly thought…” Jihoon looked at you in amazement. He
realized that the hurt he’d caused you manifested into pure rage. There was
nothing left for him to salvage and the best thing he could do was to let you
alone to heal. He shook his head “I’m sorry” He muttered.

“Get out.” You said with your eyes closed and teeth clenched and
he did.

You and your assistant stood there in the aftermath. You’d never
acted out like that at work. Your business was something near and dear to you.
You’d prided yourself on providing a comfortable and professional environment
in this building. That had been ruined today. You’d allowed one man to make you
come out your skin and show your whole ass. You were trying to formulate a way
to apologize for making her sit through that. The two of you had a close
working relationship and she was counted amongst those closest to you but still
this was work for the two of you.

She broke the strained silence with “Did you really just call that
girl a skeezer.” You could hear her choking back a laugh which intern made you
start to chuckle and soon enough the two of you were laughing hard at the

“I need a drink after this shit.” You said walking back into your
office. “Go ahead and wrap up. We’re going out.” You threw over your shoulder.

“Oxo, I’m glad you said it.” She answered back.

Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.

Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.

“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”

Really idiotic, juvenile shit. Four separate numbers, commenting on things like my clothes, which clued me in that the senders were nearby. This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide in at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies. I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out. The texts kept up until I blocked the numbers a few hours later.

I ran into Evan about 3 weeks later. We got on the same elevator, and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions. I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some “game” that him and his friends play. He knew I was fat before agreeing to meet up; they all did, because that’s what they do. Match up with fat women, then either ghost them or “troll” them at the meet-up. It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this bullshit, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt. I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.

About a month ago, some local foodie wrote a great review of the restaurant I own, and we’ve been slammed ever since. In the past, I stayed mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve been doing more and more front-of-house stuff lately, and Valentine’s Day I was working a bit of a split between the two.

I saw Evan just as he was pushing in his date’s chair. My name isn’t on the restaurant, and he didn’t see me. I checked the section up at the hostess stand and saw that one of my favorite old-timers, Nan, was going to be his waitress. I went to the bar till, took out $400, put it in her hands, and said, “This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”

She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him. I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date. She seemed like a perfectly lovely lady; I told Nan to make sure everything was good for her and terrible for Evan.

She poured ice water on his d*ck. She smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. Spilled soup on his shirt. Dropped every fork he asked for. I personally oversalted his food, used the shit liquor for his drinks, used flour instead of sugar on his dessert. To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out. He must have really wanted to f*ck this woman.

Finally, he cracked. Demanded Nan find the manager and bring her out. I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’d been planning out all night.

“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”

I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life.

He was a little too flummoxed to explain, so I pulled a chair up to the table and introduced myself to his date, Amanda. Told her how I met Evan. Showed her some fun old messages. Then I told gave her a voucher for a free meal on her next visit and told Evan to get the f*ck out and never come back.

He deleted his Tinder profile.

Neighbor sued me after harassing my dog for months, lost horribly.

About 6 or 7 months ago, my neighbor got a drone. I don’t mind people having hobbies, but for some reason he insisted on flying like the biggest jerk possible. He would hover in front of other houses and windows, try to “race” cars going down the road, and worst of all he had a habit of flying his drone in my fenced back yard buzzing over my dog, diving low just over my dogs head before circling around to do it again. My dog isn’t small, he’s about 70lbs and a Malamute, but the drone terrified him, and I was worried what would happen if it hit him.

I asked my neighbor several times to please not fly in my yard and explained that it was scaring my dog, he basically told me to get lost and laughed in my face. When it still continued, I called the police. Unfortunately there wasn’t much they could do other than ask him to please not fly over my house/property.

Finally, in late December it happened - my dog got tired of his shit and managed to catch the drone right as it was diving towards him. He shredded the drone, the thing was just a jumbled mess of wires and plastic.

Neighbor was pissed. He stormed over to my house swearing and threatening me, which I ignored. A week later, I got a summons to small claims court - he wanted $900 for the cost of his drone and an additional $300 for supposedly denying him access to his property (the drone sat in my yard for a couple hours before it was retrieved). F*ck that. He could have killed my dog. I don’t have kids or a girlfriend, I just have my dog who is my best friend for the past 7 years. That dog has moved with me three times, was there when I graduated college, saw me buy my first house and my first new car. I love my dog.

Went to LegalAdvice, got some great help from them. Turns out, him suing me was the best thing to ever happen. When we got to small claims court, the judge basically laughed away his claims that I had intentionally trained my dog to attack his drone. But little did he know I was prepared. I had dozens of photos of my yard showing it was impossible for him to “accidentally” fly that low to my dog, videos of him harassing my dog in the past, and I had saved all my medical bills from taking my dog to the vet. $700 for an xray? Check. Another $250 to sedate him during? Why not, don’t want him being uncomfortable. Full dental exam with tooth cleaning/repair? $400. Then there was the cost of anti-anxiety meds and a secondary check up, wet food for a week in case his teeth were hurt, and extra just for good measure. In the end, the a-hole ended up owing me almost $2,000, and now is being investigated by the FAA for not having a registered drone and violating several FAA regulations concerning drone flight, too near an airport, too close to other people, out of sight of operator and waaay above the maximum altitude.

Enjoy never being allowed to fly drones again, d*ck.



i really hate to bring up d*scourse on here but i feel like i can’t keep running this blog unless i address this, and if you’re not a lesbian please do not on add to this post.

please stop shaming lesbians for expressing their love of p*ssy. please stop shaming lesbians for being “exclusive” and “close-minded.” it’s concerning seeing other lgbt people on this site saying that “lesbians are gross for only liking p*ssy” and that “they need to stop.” sex-based attraction exists, the way we feel arousal is based on physical attraction and it’s h*mophobic to shame lesbians (and gay men) for it.

i’ve seen the posts: “if you’re a lesbian and you won’t have sex with a tr*ns woman because she has a p*nis you’re a tr*nsphobe,” anyone who disagrees is called a “terrible person,” and lesbians who disagree are automatically labeled as “t*rfs who deserve to die.” i’m concerned that no one reblogging these posts seems to care about how guilt-trippy and manipulative this rhetoric is, nobody owes anyone sex under any circumstance. 

i have gotten anonymous asks by thirteen year old girls saying that they’ve been the subject of call-out posts made by adults calling them tr*nsphobic even though they support tr*ns women, and now they wish they liked d*ck but they can’t and they feel terrible for it. this rhetoric tells lesbians that they will be fine with d*ck once they “get used to it,” so they should essentially force themselves through sexual experiences they’re not aroused by because eventually they’ll forget to feel sick. it causes the same shame and guilt that lesbians are subjected to while existing in a heteronormative world, dealing with straight conservatives and h*mophobes who say that they “just need to find the right man,” or that “the right d*ck will fix them,” even to the extent of corrective r*pe.

lesbians are not broken, lesbians are not disgusting, and lesbians are not inherently hateful because of their sexual attraction. i just think it’s really disturbing that lesbians are shamed for their attraction from both progressives and conservatives.

if you disagree with me, you obviously have the freedom to block/unfollow this blog, but i am begging you to please think critically about the rhetoric you see on this site. think critically about this post, think critically about what your mutuals post, and think critically about posts you see with 100k notes (there’s a reason people call this website an echo chamber). think critically about the arguments you disagree with, and think critically about your own.

Call center employees goes on rampage on last day.

NOTE: This story is about a former coworker. Also, this is as much being a d*ck as revenge. But it was quite epic, so…

One guy was a younger guy at a cellphone call center who was always kind of a slacker doofus with a (unfairly) stereotypical millennial work ethic and attitude. I’ll call him Shaggy. There was growing discontent because we were a commissioned sales group but were increasingly getting assigned non-sales campaigns, such as explaining to customers of X wireless what happens now that my company Y wireless bought them out. It was taking up ½ to 2/3rds of our day and killing our sales, commissions, stats, etc. Plus they kept changing the commission system to make it harder and harder to get payouts AND made it possible to get no payout if you fell below some number of sales per hour. Fortunately, I worked pretty hard and kept my numbers up, but for lazy slacker doofuses it was bad news.

So one Sunday (usually a busy call day) I noticed Shaggy seemed… different. Smiling, laughing, not using the company software like… at all. At some point he took off his head set and was bullshitting with me and it came out this was going to be his last day so he was just fucking around in a way that sounded… bad. I mentioned it to my supervisor. Later, my supervisor began looking into what exactly he’d been doing. From listening to the call logs and looking at the software logs we determined he:

1: Telling rude customers to go to hell, go f*ck themselves, etc. If they asked for managers he then hung up, transferred them to another cellphone company, or muted them and came back pretending to be a supervisor with an outrageous accent who also told them to go f*ck themselves.

2: Transferring people to an automated message that said something like, “do you know how to keep an idiot entertained forever? Just hang on and I’ll tell you the secret of keeping stupid morons entertained, in just a moment you’ll learn exactly how to keep them…” etc and seeing how long they lasted. Apparently some stayed on for awhile.

3: Clearing the entire call center queue. Apparently the system wouldn’t detect a hangup if you hit release fast enough after the headset started to beep. Holding enter would automatically close the computer window (or some other key combo did it). So 50 calls waiting becomes zero in seconds.

4: Suspending service for customers he didn’t like. We weren’t allowed to or supposed to suspend service or mess with billing, but had access. (We could keep a notepad file with whatever we wanted in it on the computer, so many of us kept track of phone numbers [for various legitimate purposes] and also developed ‘enemy lists’ of sorts)

5: Giving credits to customers he liked. Because customers could have seen this it and relied on it, or maybe were entitled to a credit, or some other reason, it was apparently decided not to erase the credits.

I saw him one other time, washing cars at a dealership. I don’t think it was a move up from $15-20 an hour, but he went out in a blaze of glory.

Keep reading


He misses you and he can’t stop thinking about you:

When he suddenly gets horny:

“Let’s go inside (my room).”

When he gets jealous:

On Valentine’s Day:

“I bought this for you. I couldn’t choose between chocolates and roses or ______, but at the end i thought this was a better gift for you. I hope you like it, i love you.”

When he’s drunk and he can’t stop giving you kisses.”

“Your lips are so kissable.”

When he opens up tells you how he’s been feeling:

…….and, Y/N i really don’t know what to do, sometimes i feel like i’m not good enough because……”

Your view when you’re about to give him a blowjob

JK: “Is it good? Can i try it?”

You: Yeah, sure.


When you two are in a scary roller coaster ride (you’re really nervous and scared) and he asks you:

“Are you okay Y/N?”

When you accidentally broke your swimming goggles and he’s being a good boyfriend trying to fix them:

When you get mad at him and you leave the room without any explanation:

“….What…What happened?”

Your view when you’re playing jenga with him:

“I’m really good at this. Just watch.”

When he inserts his d*ck inside of you:

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

When he wants to hold your hand for the first time but he’s shy:

Originally posted by itchgraph

The Inner Circle

Obviously not finished yet, but, hoping to post a finished piece in the next week. No hands for Feyre, or anyone but Amren for that matter.

Cass stop being a d!ck, actually he’s just grabbing that alcoholic beverage right where Amren is about to sit. Annnnnnddd Az….grow some ballz, go get Mor, now.