this could not wait

3

And if you’re gonna do this rip the plaster. If you’re gonna hit me, hit me harder than this.

2

He isn’t gonna make the same mistake twice

okay hear me out: 

you know those photo series that are like “In The Running For The Next Spiderman/Young Han Solo/Bachelor/Prince Eric/Property Brother”

and it’s just like nine generically handsome brunet white men that might all be Henry Cavill or might all be Matt Bomer or might all be the photogenic runner guy from 2012 for all we know but it’s impossible to tell because they are just so generic?

and you know how nobody really remembers what Moist von Lipwig (slash Albert Spangler where applicable) actually looks like, they just remember the gold hat, or the glasses, or the bountiful ear hair?

what I want is an adaptation where Moist, whenever he’s being an anonymous face or The Man in the Golden Suit or Albert Spangler, is played by a series of generically handsome brunet white men who are swapped out shot-to-shot.

I like how in “Doug Out” you can tell Onion is attempting to describe the figures that were following him, making a motion like something was big

and then flapping his arms to indicate something with wings

He also attempts to express that he didn’t break the lock on the fence, but is misunderstood.

Anyways, I just liked this detail