this character has been trapped in a living hell for seven years

Buffy’s “Empty Places”: Deconstructing Merit, Luck, and Betterment

Anyone who’s spent five minutes with me knows that I love ranty metas, and Buffy’s “Empty Places” is something I’ve wanted to tackle since I finished it. However, rather than try to unravel the entirety of that shit-show conversation I want to focus in on what Anya says near the end.

You really do think you’re better than we are. But we don’t know. We don’t know if you’re actually better. I mean, you came into the world with certain advantages, sure. I mean, that’s the legacy. But you didn’t earn it. You didn’t work for it. You’ve never had anybody come up to you and say you deserve these things more than anyone else. They were just handed to you. So that doesn’t make you better than us. It makes you luckier than us.

Here Anya lays out three important questions that I think are crucial to interpreting the Buffyverse.

  • Did Buffy “earn” her power? 
  • Is she “luckier” than her friends? 
  • Is Buffy “better” than her friends? And what exactly does “better” mean in this context?

Honestly, I still stand amazed that Anya can even voice the first two questions among Buffy’s friends and not get immediate, wicked backlash. Admittedly her use of “luckier” could be interpreted to mean “randomly,” but her word choice is still significant. Buffy is by no stretch of the imagination lucky. Does her calling give her purpose? Yes. Does it give her cool superpowers? Absolutely. But none of these benefits are free gifts—they’re balanced, even outweighed, by her responsibilities. This calling means that Buffy has no other options in her life, no career or family as a ‘normal’ person would experience it. Her powers are to keep herself and others safe, not to have fun with. Buffy didn’t win the freaking lottery here, this life was forced on her.

Originally posted by btvsmemories

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Why Diablo 3’s Imperius is a poor baby and justified in hating you all.

After playing through Diablo 3 a few times with Silas, I’ve found that I actually have a lot of sympathy for the archangel of valor. He hates humans, he hates them SO MUCH, but y’know…I can’t really blame him. I mean, just look at the shit he’s gone through.

Archangel Inarius: Imma steal the worldstone out from underneath the raging armies of heaven and hell and just fuck the Eternal Conflict and actually fuck Mephisto’s daughter yeah that sounds like an awesome plan how can this possibly go wrong.
Imperius: What the shit bro?!? No! stop that! Why would you—DON’T STICK YOUR DICK IN THAT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

That’s how it starts. And then Imperius sees the Nephalem, which are admittedly terrifyingly powerful halfbreed spawn. 


And then, when Imperius is a little calmer, he actually tries to fix it. 

Imperius: Okay guys, this is salvagable. Inarius, just come home, we’ll destroy your half demon abominations and pretend that this never– 
Tyrael: What? No, genocide is wrong. 
Auriel: Besides, they’re kind of cute and they could use their power to help us. Let’s keep them. 
Imperius: Are you fucking kidding me.

And then he loses the vote to destroy the Nephalem, so he throws his hands in the air and is like: 

Imperius: FINE! But we’re using the Worldstone to cage their freakish power. That way they’ll go from being TERRIFYING MONSTER CHILDREN THAT COULD MURDER US ALL to just being disgusting mutants and I guess I can live with that as long as I don’t have to see their stupid ugly faces UGH faces.

And that actually works for a while until Tyrael gets himself trapped and Baal manages to corrupt the Worldstone that the humans were SUPPOSED to be GUARDING. 

And Tyrael’s solution was to SMASH IT TO PIECES. The thing that the hosts of Heaven and Hell had been fighting over since almost the dawn of time.

Imperius takes exception to this.

Imperius: You BROKE THE WORLDSTONE WHY. Tyrael. Tyrael you are grounded.
Tyrael: You can’t ground me! I’m grounding myself! *plummets to Sanctuary*

So at this point, Imperius has lost two of his archangel siblings and the entire Worldstone and it can all be traced to the humans.

But at least they’re still just useless worthless humans, right?

Except the Worldstone got smashed so now actual Nephalem are being born again

Oh well at least the main three Prime Evils are dead and soul-smashed, right? Diablo is gone at leas–

Oh wait no, because Adria saw that coming and set up an elaborate trap and thanks to her and your Nephalem player characters Diablo is back. As all seven prime evils combined. 

All of which Imperius learns about the time that Diablo shishkabobs him and smashes through the gates of heaven.

Imperius is already not having a good day. So it really shouldn’t be much of a surprise when the next assholes to walk through those smashed gates (while heaven is in the process of being slaughtered by the armies of hell) are a party of Nephalem.

So his reaction to you is actually pretty tame when you think about it.

Imperius: YOU. Get out. OUT.
Player Characters: Uh…no? We’re uh, we’re trying to help you with your Diablo probl–
Player Characters: Dude chill, we’re on a time limit here–

And then, before Imperius can vent the rage and frustration he’s been holding in for thousands of years, Diablo smashes the crystal arch and Imperius crumples to the ground with his wings all tattered and broken.

And the player characters just walk over him on their way to the final boss.

Imperius hates you. He hates you so much and I cannot blame him.

And it just gets worse in the expansion.

anonymous asked:

You know what the biggest tip off for me was that Jack and Ashi were going to be a thing? There face profiles are like puzzle pieces that fit together. His forehead protrudes slightly and leads right into his nose while Ashi's Jaw and nose protrude out past her forehead. Look when they get up in each other's faces when they're in the belly of the beast and he has the beard pointing down and her hair is sticking up. It's some yin-yang stuff going on right there.

Boy oh boy anon am I ever glad you brought this up! I apologize in advance, for I have a lot/too much to say so be prepared and please be patient with me!

This stuck out to me quite a bit in episode four as they were actually being forced to spend time with each other. I’m stuck on a mobile, but I’m sure we all remember when they were arguing and their faces got close to each other. They literally fit into each other like a puzzle piece just like yin and yang. Not to mention, as you also pointed out, the way they wear their hair also goes along with that. Jack used to have a beard and wore his hair down, while Ashi had worn her hair up. Later, we see Jack (unfortunately) lose his beard and he starts to wear his hair up again while Ashi is wearing her hair down. Let’s also not forget Jack’s gi is white whereas Ashi’s… um, burnt flesh was black. Literally their whole appearances contrast each other which, as you said, is some yin and yang shit going on.


When you think about it, just about everything they do is some sort of a parallel to each other. For starters, the reason why the two exist at all are for opposite reasons. Jack was born to continue the emperor’s bloodline which includes to complete the occasional task of defeating Aku until his usual inevitable reappearance. Ashi was born to do the exact opposite- to kill whoever fights against the demon she once worshipped, which of course means Jack. We have seen both characters go grow up in their respective environments. Despite being royalty, Jack had a good ‘normal’ upbringing. He had loving parents who treated him like a normal child and supported him. Ashi, on the other hand, had an abusive upbringing. Her mother was unsupportive and literally does not give a damn about the lives of her daughters. However, none of these stay perfectly in place. As seen in episode three of season five, Jack’s playtime is interrupted by several assassins looking to kill his father. Of course, his father stands up for himself and his family and fights. Jack rushes away from the safety of his mother’s arms to take a peek at the action, only to see nothing more but miserable violence followed by his face being splattered in one of the assassin’s blood therefore giving the poor boy a glimpse of the darkness the world holds. Later, as his father is cleaning him up, his father is giving him words of wisdom and comfort like any good parent would. Ashi, unfortunately, wasn’t this lucky. As seen in the first episode of season five, her mother doesn’t give her or her six sisters a normal upbringing. They’re forced to learn how to fight in a dark, depressing environment. Eventually, ‘Mother Dearest’ brings out a very large and brutish enemy to force her daughters to fight. Of course, they try but are too small and weak to do any damage. At one point, Ashi rushes away from the fight to get a glimpse of the outside world. It is then she sees the warmth and beauty of the world. For once in her miserable childhood, Ashi gets to see the light the world holds at times and she smiles. However, that doesn’t last long. The High Priestess coaxes her back out only to mercilessly grab her by the throat and fling her back into battle. Jack’s childhood was full of light and happiness except for the one unfortunate incident where he saw how messed up and cruel the world can be meanwhile, Ashi’s childhood was full of darkness and misery except for the one time she saw how beautiful and bright the world can be.

Hell, for those who remember Jack’s training montage in the very first episode, compare it to Ashi’s. Jack got to see the world and meet knew people and got to experience so much, whereas Ashi was trapped inside during most of her life and never got to know anything different.

For those who say “Jack and Ashi shouldn’t be together because Jack acts like an adult whereas Ashi acts like a child” there is a reason for this. Literally the short blurb I said above gives a lot of explanation. People who see or get to know the world and different people tend to gain a lot of experience and tend to act more mature. People who don’t do those things tend to have an ignorant viewpoint and do tend to act childish. However, have any of you actually noticed that Jack and Ashi have helped each other act like their own actual ages? Literally, throughout the course of the episodes Jack has slowly started to begin looking and acting like the 25 year old man he is. Ashi’s presence and companionship has helped him regain his youth. (For fucks’s sake Ashi helps Jack’s hallucinations decrease/go away). Jack does a similar thing for Ashi. Jack has pushed her into the right direction for her to understand things more on her own. Ashi has become much more mature than when Jack was forced to be with her in episode four. Thanks to that, she now actually acts like a real 18-21 year old (or however fucking old she is) adult. Ashi would have never made it this far without Jack and Jack wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for Ashi. Why is that? Because they are yin and yang! They are the missing puzzle piece to each other. They literally complete each other.


It’s a ten episode continuation of a storyline that hasn’t been touched in 13 years, which by the way, was SUPPOSED to have a total of 13 episodes but Adult Swim was a greedy bastard, so we can only have ten. When you have a 13 episode plot planned out but are only given ten episodes, that’s not an easy squeeze. Approximately, he had to squeeze in about an extra 60 minutes worth of whatever was going to happen in the last three-ish episodes? (Tbh, episodes five-to-seven seemed just as rushed as episode eight but no one has complained about that.) So what can he really do? Drop the romance he has wanted to do for a really long time? Pfft, I wouldn’t want to do that! My guy, if I would make my intentional ship happen no matter what had to take in order for it to happen.

Also, about the amount of buildup, there was quite a bit:

- The buck and doe kissing
- Jack carrying Ashi bridal style in episode four
- “What did you expect, a hug and a kiss?”
- Witty/playful banter between the two
- The ladybug scene (although this can be debatable)
- The sea serpent scene (very Disney, lol)
- “Uh, I like your hair…. and your dress!”
- The way Jack held Ashi when he saw she passed out.
- The way Ashi looked at Jack when she regained consciousness.
- “Jack, you got your sword! And a little shave and a haircut…”
- The VAs teasing it on Twitter
- The entire (fairly obvious??) yin and yang point I made above
- All of episode eight LEADING UP to the kiss

Let’s also not forget that a lot of time goes by in these episodes and that it’s up to us, the viewers, to fill in the blanks ourselves. Of course as they’re traveling they’re going to grow closer! That’s just a thing that happens.


…And? Literally every show I have seen NO MATTER THE LENGTH has at least ONE. Also, that argument isn’t completely true either. What if I told you that perhaps their relationship is important to the plot? I don’t know about you, but them developing a romantic relationship will deeply effect how Jack will feel about completing his mission. Ashi being this important in his life will effect and possibly reshape his goals. If that isn’t something any of you deem important to the plot, then I am at a loss of what to tell you at this point.

Jack and Ashi not only complete each other, but they make each other genuinely happy in a way that the two of them have either had very little experience with or no experience at all. They both understand the mental baggage the other carries and support each other. They are both consenting adults with an age gap AT LARGEST seven years apart (physical age and mental age are both things that go together and are hardly separate unless there’s some elaborate fantasy-novelesque reasoning for it) so it’s not like either of them are so out of loop to know what they’re doing. They both obviously care about each other, saved each others lives, and see each other as an equal. They capture just about all the aspects of what makes a healthy relationship (love, respect, trust, loyalty, etc.) and, again, they have been through so much both on their own and together. Don’t you think they deserve to be happy?

Anyway, this is just my “two cents” on the issue (although more like 50 bucks holy fuck do you see all this shit I wrote???)


(Also, psst @to-my-ovaries and @silentserenityy I think you guys might want to see this lmao)

The Parent Trap - Part Nine

Character: Dean Winchester

Warning: Lil bit of kid angst

Word Count: 851

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

Summary: After the breakup, it’s inevitable that Ramona and Mitchell will have something to say about it.


   Mitchell figures it out by the end of the next day. Maybe he brought it up with Ramona, or maybe he came to his own conclusion, but you only know he knows when he comes out of his room in the middle of the night and curls up next to you on the couch.

   “Why’d you and Dean break up?” he asks.

   Sighing, you put your arms around him and kiss the top of his head. “Sometimes, Mitchell, people don’t work out. Relationships don’t work out. You know that. Remember my other boyfriends?”

   He nods, swallows, and his voice cracks. “I like Dean more than them.”

Keep reading

Short opinion: I might have had empathy for David while reading #20, but that all disappeared real fast around the time Jake tells Ax that they need to start looking for Tobias not in the sky but dead on the ground.  

Long opinion:

This book has always struck me as being a study in military leadership.  We get relatively little introspection from Jake for once (and thank goodness; as much as I love that kid even I think he needs to lighten up on the self-loathing sometimes) because this is a book about how the Animorphs are doing something very right.  Specifically, they are operating exactly as a small military unit should—and it takes a clueless, selfish outsider in order to act as a foil and show just how friggin’ competent these child soldiers actually are.  A lot of that competence comes straight from the Animorphs’ absolute, unhesitating trust in their leader, to the point of literally being willing to die at his command.  David throws a pretty huge wrench in the works by simply being there with the team, and none of the Animorphs handle that challenge to Jake’s leadership particularly well.  Then again, considering how much of the plot of this book hinges on the Animorphs needing strong leadership just to stay alive, one can appreciate their disgust at David’s disobedience.  

Because Jake holds that team together.  Marco might tease him for his lack of science knowledge, Rachel might treat him like a little brother, Ax might enjoy winding him up with the whole “prince” thing, Tobias might happily poke fun at his bad grades, and Cassie might be quick to point out his lack of people skills, but they all respect the hell out of Jake.  Again and again in this book (and in the series as a whole) they prove that they literally trust him with their lives.  Sure, it helps that going into the war Cassie and Marco have both been friends with Jake for years while Rachel’s known him her whole life, Ax wants anyone who can tell him what to do, and Tobias has latched on like a barnacle learned that he can rely on Jake to help him out.  But Jake also earns that trust over the course of the war.  He goes into every battle with six Animorphs, and he comes out of every battle except the last one with six Animorphs (X).  He will deliberately refuse to ask his team to do anything he isn’t willing to do himself, and he will physically throw himself between the line of fire and any of his friends if he can.  

…so it’s patently ridiculous that David thinks he can win leadership over the Animorphs through biting people.  It seems almost silly to consider that David thinks Rachel and the others will seriously acknowledge his superiority as a direct result of him hurting someone they love.  And yet that exact trope is incredibly common in fantasy and sci fi.  Highlander, Pacific Rim, Dune, The Sword of Truth, X-Men, Spectrum, Babylon 5, Journey to Chaos, and like 400 other books and movies I don’t have space to list all portray male characters winning or attempting to win leadership roles (or infinitely worse, the respect of relatively passive female characters) through punching each other.  Technically speaking, David and Jake’s little catfight is a classic dominance battle… and Jake loses.  Badly.  Non-technically speaking, David never had a prayer of getting the Animorphs to respect him as much as they respect Jake pretty much no matter what he did.  

Because this whole book is all about showing the boundaries of Jake’s authority, which are far-reaching and close to absolute. When Ax says that it would be smarter for him to join Jake in following David into David’s bedroom, Jake insists on having Ax in the backyard and Ax goes to demorph without question.  During the opening scene, Jake asks Tobias first for clothes for David and then for a seagull, and Tobias runs off (flies off?) to go grab both immediately.  When the Animorphs first pop up inside the banquet hall pillar next to the yeerk pool, Jake asks Rachel to go into battle morph… and then asks her to demorph thirty seconds later.  She does both without grumbling.  When the seven of them are facing down the (apparent) army of hork-bajir controllers, Jake asks Marco to attack the thirty-odd controllers while alone and unarmed (pun intended) and Marco just says “you’d better be sure” before he goes ahead and does it (#21).  Cassie and Jake toss the issue of What to Do About David back and forth, but Cassie defers to Jake’s judgment.  When the seven of them are poised to grab the Russian prime minister and Jake suddenly says “Battle morphs! Now!” without a word of explanation, his narration notes “No one asked why. No one hesitated” as everyone frantically starts morphing (#21).  

However, Jake also repays that trust in spades.  His snap-judgment order to have the team go into battle morph saves their lives when otherwise Visser Three’s trap would have closed on them all.  He doesn’t get Marco killed because he’s right about the hologram within a hologram, and he also correctly calculates that having Ax demorphed during that final battle with David is more valuable than having him in harrier morph would be.  When asking for favors from Rachel and Tobias he says “please” and “thank you” and “sorry for the trouble,” and offers to repay the surf shop out of pocket so that Tobias or David won’t have to.  He freely admits that Cassie’s a better judge of character, Rachel is a better fighter, and Marco is a better strategist than him.  He verbally acknowledges Tobias’s skill at aerial fighting and Ax’s at blade fighting.  

More than that, he knows his team.  Not only does he take the time to study all five of his friends, but he also spends this entire book trying desperately to figure out what makes David tick.  He says, “I knew each of the others. Name any situation. I could tell you exactly how Cassie or Marco or Rachel or Tobias or even Ax would react. But David remained unknown. Unpredictable,” and he’s right (#21).  He moves the chess pieces around and around and around solving the dual problems of the world leaders’ conference and the seventh Animorph throughout this trilogy, and eventually figures out how to solve the leaders himself and how to move out of the way to let Cassie and Rachel solve David.  He knows that when the David situation needs a gentle touch to use Cassie, that when the Animorphs start dropping like flies Ax has to “get Rachel,” and that when it comes to attacking controllers with finesse he needs Marco.  He tells Cassie that “I’m just a moron when it comes to figuring people out,” but the truth is that, while he might not be able to do it as easily as Cassie does, he’s still got the necessary brain power (and empathy, for that matter) to figure people out just fine on his own if given enough time to do so.  

All of the moments when Jake making snap judgments—and the other five core Animorphs following those judgements—result in lives being saved also justify the fact that Jake is pretty harsh at several moments in this book.  He threatens David’s life after catching him breaking into the hotel room, and actually snaps at both Marco and Rachel when they try to ream David out for nearly betraying them.  He risks everyone’s lives by sneaking them into the world leaders’ summit, and he goes after David on the roof of the mall with the intention of killing David to avenge Tobias.  Jake is not anyone’s dad (as he reminds the team again and again) but he’s also not a mere “teacher or principal or whatever” the way David tries to make him out to be.  The Animorphs’ lives depend on them having a strong leader who gives intelligent orders and can expect them to be obeyed immediately without question.  David threatens the continued existence of the entire team by subverting that order.  

Again, if this was a different type of science fiction series, then David winning the fight against Jake would be enough to promote him automatically to being leader of the Animorphs.  If this was a very different type of story, then David winning the fight against Tobias would mean he’d get to be Rachel’s boyfriend.  K.A. Applegate shows that those kinds of gender roles are frankly ridiculous, because the qualities that make Jake the leader of this team have nothing whatsoever to do with his ability to punch or bite things.  

How Kingdom Hearts III will probably go down

First of all, THANKS FOR LIKING MY WRITING STYLE. I TRY MY BEST. To do with the theory I wrote, the huge majority of it was thanks to @derekscorner, who I really couldn’t thank more for letting me post the revised version. Seriously, it got so much attention and I’m so happy that lots of people saw it and liked it.

So… how do I think the ending to Kingdom Hearts III will happen?

*rubs hands together, snickering in the darkness*

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anonymous asked:

Hi! You talk about fan fic a lot- what are your favorites?

Uhh I might have posted this answer before? Maybe not. Here you go!


What if another one of Kai’s victims was trapped with him in 1994? Skye tries to forge friendships with Bonnie and Damon in order to get home, but will she be able to fight against Kai’s machinations? Or will she give into them like always?

by @tjbinx, The Vampire Diaries


but still, like dust, i’ll rise

Elena returns from the Other Side human. With the knowledge that the only thing more valuable than doppelganger blood is human doppelganger blood, and the desperate need to get out Mystic Falls at any cost, Elena turns to the one place she’s sure she’ll be safe: New Orleans.

certain dark things

AU from 2x10. The doppelganger is alive, and ready to surrender. Damon and Elijah are both too late; Elena is taken to Klaus just like she wanted, one month before the next full moon, and one month before he’s going to kill her. It’s a dangerous game she has to play, and Elena knows better than to think she could win it; all she can do is whatever it takes to maybe, just maybe, not lose.

by @alisonhastings, The Vampire Diaries


bewitched me body & soul 

She will not lose herself and she will cling onto the name that has defined her for ten years. Elena Gilbert is not going to be the thief of hearts or a plot-tool. No, she will be her own character in this tale, the heroine who will not let anyone dictate who she should be.

A smile curled her lips, a new one this face has never made.

Write her own story.

She liked the sound of that.

(Where Elena Gilbert remembers her past doppelganger lives and isn’t going to stand being used as a sacrifice or a martyr this time around. Doppelganger mythology, Original drama, the Salvatores, and a whole lot more come into play. Let the dices roll. Let it begin.)

by SSAerial, The Vampire Diaries


Sink or Swim 

All her life it had felt like a struggle to stay afloat, and she was hell bent on swimming. But when she finds herself completely submerged under water, she doesn’t exactly get a choice in the matter. Jamie Gilbert’s life was a wreck. A complete and utter catastrophe from beginning till end - How’s that for a eulogy?

by EyeballChambers, The Vampire Diaries


Run Like Hell 

Born a city elf, Azry Tabris will fight in her mother’s name to end the Blight and show the entire world that the elven people are still to be respected, and that one person can make every difference.

by @teenytabris, Dragon Age



Luminosity is an AU reworking of the Twilight story where Bella is a rational self-knowledge junkie. Inspired by “Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality”. Requires no knowledge of or affection for Twilight canon.

by @luminousalicorn, Twilight


Adventures of a Line Hopper

The moment Buffy saw the Doctor, she knew she had to kill him.

by secooper87, Doctor Who/Buffy the Vampire Slayer


Dirt and Ashes, or: The One-and-a-Half Body Problem

The invasion of Konoha during the chuunin exam didn’t fail. Team seven is broken, people are dead, and Sakura is hurt and frightened and a very long way from home.

Alternative summary: In which Sakura carries half of Hidan across two countries, leaving a trail of blood, bodies, and other people’s legs.

Faith and the Devil 

It was eleven AM on a Saturday and I was sitting at the desk, spreading a disappointing Vegemite substitute across an equally disappointing piece of gluten free toast. The only thing that wasn’t innately disappointing was that I’d made a very good cup of tea. It was still steaming in my giant, garish mug and I was counting on it to make this breakfast worth getting up for.

Less than an hour later, Lucius Malfoy would be trying to convince me I was his long lost daughter.

by @tozettewrites, Naruto and Harry Potter respectively


Edge of Tomorrow

The Original Hybrid would not be the first fictional character from a fictional world Amanda Warren would discover was actually terrifyingly real. But when Klaus is snared by the same trap that first captured her, the two are thrown into a whirlwind of parallel universes.

by DayStorm, The Originals (and others)


After Life

A story attempting to integrate Sigyn into the wider 616 universe. Featuring lots about the importance of lady friendships. And Loki. Because he refuses to go away. Starts not long after Siege and ends sometime in between Young Avengers Vol. 2 and Loki: Agent of Asgard

by @barbeauxbot, Marvel 616


Deja Vu and Dreams

This ninja business? It isn’t for the faint of heart. Luckily Aiko is far from faint, even if she did get stuck with a ridiculously girly name.

by @electraposts, Naruto


Hello, Time Bomb

The success of an undertaking is not determined by its necessity. The Lazarus Project was never likely to succeed.

by @omgmussimm, Mass Effect


Aaaand thats all I have energy for. I hope you like them!

It’s been like a week and I’m still chuckling to myself over Gone Girl.  (The book.  Haven’t seen the movie.) It’s just so, so good.

I read an essay once–I forget where, it was in an anthology about horror movies–that posited that horror of the intimate, single-protagonist sort really only worked on an emotional level if there was some initial sin or bad act on the protagonist’s part that provoked the (horrific, disproportionate) response of the antagonist.  They have to have done something, to have some reprisal coming, in order for the story to work.  Otherwise it’s basically just a martyrdom playing out on screen for two hours, or over the course of two hundred pages.

It’s not a bad theory, I don’t think, and it’s helped explain the dissatisfaction of a few movies where the protagonist’s fuck-up is really…not that big a deal?  Like Club Dread*, where the murderer is like “You said you didn’t have any pot, but you totally did!  And you!  You didn’t say ‘bless you’ after I sneezed!”, only it’s not horror-comedy, and you’re expected to take it seriously.  Without a real transgression, a film hitting beats the seem to imply some level of guilt or comeuppance just comes off as weird and sadistic.

If you’ve seen it, Drag Me to Hell** is a good example of when it works.  You tell an old-old, poverty-stricken lady she’s getting foreclosed on because you work for a soulless bank when all human decency tells you to let the poor old bat die in her own home in peace, well.  You haven’t earned getting damned to hell, obviously, but you’ve done something concrete and reasonably infuriating to provoke the witch who curses you.  It’s a struggle that makes sense.  You, Protagonist McGee, are righteously indignant because Jesus Christ, this is an over-the-top response, and fighting like mad because you don’t deserve this, and Antagonist McBastard is over there going “You foreclosed on a dying ninety-year-old!  Fuck you, you’re going to hell!”.

So, what did Nick do to deserve his fate in Gone Girl?  I mean, Amy’s pretty other than else in the book.  She’s pretty much Moriarty, if Moriarty were motivated by spite and not profit.  But she’s also an absolutely perfect disaster to befall a man who wants, and spends much of his life pursuing, a shallow fantasy of women as toys, women who exist only to dispense comfort and pleasure, women who have no uncomfortable needs or personalities or demands to inconvenience him. 

Of the three main female characters–Amy, Andie, and Go–Go is the only one who’s a real person.  Nick’s twin sister is the woman he can’t leave, even if their relationship hits the skids or sours, and so she gets to be a human.  Andie exists in the same twilight zone where he wishes Amy lived, where she’s sexually and emotionally available and needs nothing in return that he can’t easily give her and is automatically subordinate in the relationship thanks to the huge gap in age and status (over a decade apart; she’s a college student and he’s her professor).  So what happens when Nick breaks the marriage contract and cheats on Amy with Andie?

What happens is that it turns out that Nick, who wants nothing more than to be married to a pleasant little doll who will never give him any trouble, has married the woman that every casual misogynist tells ghost stories about.  As punishment for his pursuit of the puerile daydream that requires real people to act as props, he gets the vindictive monster inspired by centuries of lingering guilt over the unacknowledged unfairness of the demand that women act like toys.

I mean, let’s be clear: Amy is not a real person.  In the function of this story, Amy is the monster.  And Amy-the-monster is epic.  Amy’s wrath knows few bounds.  Amy will murder you because you make her act grateful one too many times.  Amy will have a baby just to trap you.  Amy will have sex with you just to say it was rape.  Amy will make you fall in love with her all over again just to throw it in your face.  Amy will work and work and work at something and never let on and then act as if everything she accomplished was effortless, because Amy is unknowable and omnipotent and consequently bordering on magical.  Are we even sure Amy had to work at it?  Of course not, because fuck if Nick was paying attention.  Amy can snap her fingers and turn seven years of your life into a lie.  Amy will tell the whole world about your flaws, and she can do it because you let her see the real you.  Amy is every gangrenous fear of intimacy ever spawned come to life and given reason to be angry at a man, and when Nick cheats, he pulls the trigger.

And in the end, the monster wins.  Nick rolls over and accepts it, and tries to spin Amy as a stabilizing, maturing force, a fire-and-brimstone god who will make him toe the line and be a good man–the good man he couldn’t manage to be under his own power–even as Go tells him that this is fucked up and terrible.  Of course, what Go fails to understand is that Nick has come to the realization that he doesn’t want a real woman, a real human being of flesh and blood and frailties and needs.  A real woman would be boring.  The idea of being in a real relationship with a real woman still holds no appeal.  Amy-the-monster has taken away Nick’s expectation of the blow-up doll, but in its place he’s latched onto the expectation of the vampire.  If he can’t have the comfort of an infinitely-soothing caregiver, he needs the horror of an infinitely-terrible tyrant.

*Actually a reasonably good movie?

**Also a reasonably good movie, and one of the few I’ve seen (not usually a big horror fan, so this might not be unusual) where a female protagonist gets to play kind of cocky and brash in response to supernatural aggression without getting shoved into the vapid-slut role.  Christine basically gets to be Ash.

I’m not crying, nor have I been crying for the past two hours because I hate the show or because I want to kill Matt Weiner. I’m crying and have been crying for the past two hours because Betty Francis, a character I adore and am painfully attached too, is dying. She’s fucking dying. She’s got nine months to a year to live. I fucking hate the storyline, but I’m not mad at the show or the writers. So, in a weird way, the storyline makes sense, “Mad Men” is not a show about happiness, is about life. And in life you search for happiness. Sometimes you find it, sometimes you don’t. Joan got a shitty exit from McCann, Roger knows he’s condemned to spend the rest of his years trapped in those offices, not being a leader, Don is a hobo again and Betty is fucking dying. Did this ruin “Mad Men” for me? Hell no! Do I like it? Hell fucking no! “Mad Men” is that show that happens to be different, the one that sets itself apart, the one that makes sense, the one that grips you and makes you get involved because of the characters, and not the ships, the one that built an amazing fandom where we can all talk and discuss in a civilized way, the one that you don’t get angry with. The finale probably won’t hurt as much now that I saw what’s happening to Betty, and I may joke that that’s what Matt planned all along with this storyline, but I still don’t want to say goodbye to it. I know Betty’s story sucks, and that she’s dying before her time. I’m well aware the woman smokes like a chimney and yeah, that’s life! And that’s “Mad Men”. And Matt and the writers have given her seven seasons of amazing storylines and watching her go through the rollercoaster that has been Betty’s life was a thrill. But still, I feel validated to keep on crying because the Queen is dying of cancer and it fucking hurts. And watching this show end will also fucking hurt.

anonymous asked:

hello my fellow drarry trash!!! wanna make your fic rec page a post so i can find it on mobile and read all of the fics like under a readmore or something?

can do !!! whole thing is under the fancy read more, happy reading !! :)

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anonymous asked:

Hi! :) can you recommend me some drarry fics?? I've never read any before but I want to start. Thanks darling!

Yes yes yes I can! You’re in for a treat, Drarry is like all the sass + shared history + drama + dumb boys being dumb + TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN + pining that you could ever conceivably want.

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