this boy is growing on me

anonymous asked:

I need more trans! Hazel in my life

Okay but trans girl Hazel is honestly such a blessing?

  • We know Hazel grew up in the 30′s-40′s and at that time it was still illegal to be gay, and here’s little Hazel realizing she has crushes on both her guy and girl classmates
  • Hazel realizing that she’s jealous of her girl classmates because they get to be pretty and wear skirts and braid their hair and she’s stuck with short hair and a tie.
  • Moving to Alaska and being alone gives her lots of time to think and be alone
  • Lots of time to mess around with Marie’s makeup and jewelry
  • Enough time to realize that she’s definitely not a boy
  • And then waking up again in modern times and finding out that there are words for everything shes feeling.
  • Hazel finding comfort from her big roman sister Reyna who helps introduce Hazel to the LGBT community at Camp Jupiter
  • Hazel finally being able to wear dresses and skirts and grow her hair out
  • Big sisters Piper and Annabeth giving her hand me downs
  • Piper teaching Hazel how to finally braid hair and then they braid each others
  • Hazel finally beginning to feel comfortable in her own skin!!
smitten // josh dun

Requested by an adorable anon 💕

“The yellow hair makes me smile silly,” you whispered to your friend Tyler as the two of you watched your friend Josh on the drums. He was yet to notice the pair of you staring at him, taking in his every move. Tyler was tapping along to the beat as you stared heart eyed at the yellow haired boy.

“That’s the only reason he picked that color. He knew you’d like it,” Tyler whispered back, his eyes still fixated on his best friend. You crinkled your eyebrows as you looked at Tyler.

“No he didn’t. He told me it was a random pick out of a hat,” you said, and Tyler looked over at you.

“Just because he told you that doesn’t mean it’s the truth,” he grinned mischievously. You felt your cheeks grow red at the thought of Josh dyeing his hair yellow for you, and quickly looked back at the boy drumming. His arms worked perfectly over the drum set, and his arms flexed with every beat. 

“You’re drooling, Y/n,” Tyler teased you, and before you could retort he had walked off. You rolled your eyes, but quickly wiped your lips with the back of your hand just in case. Josh looked up and locked eye contact with you, and you smiled shyly. You quickly waved at him, your long jumper sleeve enveloping your fingers and making your hand disappear. You quickly pulled your arm back down, a tint of red crossing your cheeks.

Josh suddenly started to hit his drums aimlessly, his drumsticks flying out of his hands as he continued to stare at you. You tried to hide your laughter as he quickly picked up the sticks in an embarrassed fashion. He stroked his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make up for the failure, but instead lost his footing and stumbled a few steps. You giggled as he regained his balance, and quickly sat down to hide his red face.

You ran off to grab a drink of water, your brain whirling with all the things Josh did that made you smile. You could no longer hear Josh’s drumming, and assumed he had stopped practicing for today. A small potted plant sat next to the water fountain, and you carefully picked a yellow flower from it’s branches. You tucked the flower above your ear and smiled, wondering if Josh would notice the color choice.

As you walked back towards the stage you heard Tyler’s laughter pouring out from one of the dressing rooms, so you quickly bounced off in the direction of your friend. As you reached the dressing room door however you heard another voice whispering. It didn’t take you long to realize it was Josh.

“…and then she waved and her sleeve went all floppy. It was so cute, and I immediately forgot what I was doing and lost my drum sticks. She probably thinks I’m insane.”

You pressed your ear against the door and listened carefully, Tyler’s voice beginning to speak reassuring words back to his best friend.

“I honestly don’t think she thinks of you as insane. You’re so damn smitten, it’s hilarious.”

You heard Josh chuckle quietly, and you smiled to yourself. However before you could hide your happiness you heard footsteps, and the door to the dressing room flung open. You toppled forwards into Josh’s arms, and he grabbed you before you hit the floor. Carefully he pulled you back onto you feet, his features full of confusion.

“Sorry, I was just about to come in,” you mumbled, and Josh smiled back at you.

“No worries. I like your flower, Y/n,” Josh beamed, before heading out of the room. You were slightly embarrassed, but you turned to Tyler with a small grin on your lips. Tyler just smiled back at you.

Eyes On Me Please

Eyes On Me Please

Previous fic:

It was another night out with the boys, Joe was quickly growing tired of clubbing.It wasn’t that he didn’t like to have fun, dance, and hangout with the Buttercreams, it was the fact that this was the 3rd night this week, and every time they go out all Joe see’s is girls flirting with Jack, like tonight.

Joe looks up from his phone to see that a girl has managed to make her way over to their table, and was now doing anything to get Jack’s attention, it seems like Jack’s not going to give it to her, knowing that his loving boyfriend is right across from him. It still made Joe see red, and his body fill with anger, he was jealous again.

Joe understand why the girls are after Jack, he looks pretty damn good tonight, he’s got his hair styled in that side swoop that makes anyone’s knees tremble. He did it especially for Joe because he knows what it does to him.

“Joe buddy are you okay?” Caspers asked a hint of concern in his voice. “You’re gripping your glass kind of tight.”

Joe looked up at Casper surprised that the man had took notice of him, by now him and Maddie would usually be making out somewhere. “Oh I’m fine Casper, just think I need another drink is all.”

Casper being the kind friend he is, left to go get him some shots, which he knows that Joe hates. Joe looked back over to Jack seeing that the girl was gone, and so was Jack. Panic and dread filled at the pit of his stomach, until he felt familiar arms wrap around him. “Joe, you’ve been so far away all night, my arms miss you.”

Joe smiled at the familiar voice of his boyfriend, look back to meet his blue eyes. “You’ve been busy, I thought you forgot about me actually,” he tries to tease but comes out more of an accusation, causing Jack to frown.

“I would never forget about you, babe. How can I forget about the most wonderful, amazing, beautiful, gorgeous, incredible person in my life?” Jack asked while pressing a kiss to my cheeks with each compliments.

“It didn’t seem to hard earlier,” I mumbled out, regretting it immediately after seeing the hurt on Jack’s face. “I’m sorry love, I’m just being a prick. Let’s just go have a good time, yeah?”

“Yeah,” He replies while releasing me so I can get out of my seat. “Wanna dance?”

“Only if you can keep up, Maynard,” Jack smirks at Joe’s cockiness, grabbing the older man’s hand to lead him to the dance floor.

“I’m pretty sure I can keep up, Sugg.”

As soon as they get out there, Jack is swarmed with 3 girls, each putting their hands on his shoulders, or his hands. Joe sends a pray for their lives, if he wasn’t a boy. Joe manages to jerk Jack away from the girls wandering hands. “Sorry ladies he prefers dick,” the girls faces drop with disappointment and disgust, while Jack lets out a chuckle.

“Did you have to be so blunt?”

“It’s the only way to keep them away,” Joe defends while pouting, Jack leans forward and placed a soft kiss on Joe’s pouty lips, which is quickly returned.

“Don’t be so jealous I’m all yours, babe.”

“Then keep your eyes on me,” A slow song begins to play, and most people are trying to leave the floor, Joe wraps his arms around Jack’s neck, staring into the boy’s eyes. “I want you all to myself tonight.”

“Your wish is granted,” Jack cheesiness caused Joe to roll his eyes and almost pulling away, but the embrace feels really good. The dancing last for awhile, most girls leave Jack alone because the two boys are either grinding against each other or Joe’s giving any girl that tries to approach a deadly glare.

By 3 am Joe is tuckered out, and he needs to pee. “Jack come to the bathroom with me,” He whines against his boyfriends chest.

“Really Joe, Jack’s been with you all night, let the man breath a little,” Josh jokes, which felt like someone just drop a whole cup of ice cold water on Joe. He realizes that Josh is right, he has been super clingy throughout the whole night, every time Jack moved he went right along with him.

Joe moves away from Jack like he’s on fire. “Yeah, nevermind,” he quickly walks off in the direction of the toilets.

Jack let’s out a heavy sigh sending Josh a harsh glare, “Now why did you go and say that?”

“Come on now Jack, I was just teasing him a little bit, you two have been together all night,” Josh attempts to defend himself, but the rest of the groups just rolls their eyes.

“Yeah well thanks a lot,” Jack sighs before heading off to the bathroom.

“Way to go Josh,” Connor says sarcastically, while smacking the large ginger on the back. “You do realize Jack’s going to get you for this,” fear filled Josh’s body at the thought of all the things Jack’s going to do to him.


Jack opens the door to the bathrooms, getting groans and complaints from the people who are in line to use it, but he easily ignores them. “Joe?!”

“What?” Joe sounded so calm and quiet that Jack almost didn’t hear him, if it wasn’t for the fact that new his boyfriend voice so well.

“Hey I would’ve went with you, why did you walk off like that?” Joe opened the stall door, just a little bit so Jack could see his face.

“Josh is right, I’ve been clingy and possessive all night I just wanted to give you some space to breath,” Joe mumbles trying not to meet Jack’s questioning eyes.

“Alright I’m coming in,” he pulls the stall opened more causing Joe to step back and take a seat on the toilet, as he entered the stall. “Joseph Sugg you know me better than anyone, well that’s debatable, but still you would know if I was annoyed or upset by your presence, tonight was a good night, I got to spend it with my boyfriend by my side, and not some random girl I didn’t know.”

“I know but I just got to thinking that maybe I should start giving you more space, so you don’t get bored of me,”

“Never, you’re my Suggy, and I miss you when you’re gone for a minute. Besides who else is going to save me from the girls?” Jack teased while grabbing Joe’s hand, and pulling him up from the toilet.

“Me,” Joe whispers, as he leans forward for a kiss, which Jack grants him with. They’re kiss is quickly interrupted by the men outside the bathroom banging on the door.

“Hey you two! It’s a touching moment I get it, but some of us would really like to take a piss,” the two men burst into laughter, quickly apologizing and leaving the bathroom.

Jack placed his hands on Joe’s waist pulling him towards with a bright smile, as they headed back to the Buttercreams. “Hey I just wanted you to know that my eyes are always on you, and you’re pretty hot when you’re jealous,”

“Please I’m not jealous,” Joe scoffs, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend.

“Oh really?” Jack challenges, as he points at a girl checking him out.

Joe eyes catch the girl’s eyes wandering on his boyfriend’s body, “Oi! Sorry love but his eyes are on me,” he grabs Jack by his collar pulling him into a kiss, as the girl huffs and walks away.


“Am not!”

For: @riarocksspots
Watch on

this is seriously not ok

[TRANS] BTS Japan Official Fanclub Magazine - Suga’s Biography

A mischievous kid growing up into a boy who enjoys reading 

I was born in Daegu in the South, the third biggest city of Korean, and grew up there until I came up to Seoul. When I was young, I was pretty much an ordinary kid. I loved playing around so my kindergarten teacher didn’t seem to like me. (laughs) I remember being scolded “It’s dangerous!” a lot. I also loved sports and was good at running, to the point of being picked as a relay runner from elementary school all the way up to high school. When it comes to studying, I’m slightly above average. 

I used to love playing outside with friends back then, but I changed as I grew up. Even when we went outside, it wasn’t like we did anything, we just gathered at the park. I wasn’t fond of that so many times I just stayed at home on weekends. My mother told me to go outside and meet my friends sometimes. (laughs) 

I had a thing for collecting, so I collected a lot of books when I was young. It was a time when I wanted to be a cultured man, wanted to pretend I know things too. Mature stuffs that didn’t suit my age or novels, poetry books, essays, newspapers,… I read everything regardless of genre. I don’t know why but up till middle school, I had the habit of reading books from the back page. I still read books sometimes now. My reading speed gets faster by reading multiple sentences at a time. 

Memories of first love from elementary school… I really don’t have any. Unlike Seoul, the provinces are conservative, and my school didn’t have that kind of atmosphere in which boys and girls talk to each other. If I was with a girl, I would become really shy and wouldn’t even say a word. 

The encounter with hip hop
Started composing in middle school 

I started to be interested in music in 5th year of elementary school, while watching the performance of “Stony Skunk”, Korean artists, on TV. It was the prime of ballad back then so if 18 teams perform on a music program, 10 would sing ballads, 5 would be idols and the other 3 would be other genres. They were one of those 3 teams. It was so cool how they were different from other singers. Up until then, I didn’t have any interest in music, but with Stony Skunk, I started listening to hip hop and reggae music, and was influenced by Epik High as well. MP3 player was starting to come out at that time, but I bought a Panasonic CD player and listened with that. 

Along with listening to music, I also started writing music at the same time. It wasn’t like someone told me to do it, I just had the thought of having to do so. I started writing rap lyrics in elementary school and started composing after I went to middle school. Back then, no one around me liked hiphop… It became extremely popular in Korea now but when I first started listening to it, hip hop was a genre once popular a long time ago. I think there probably wasn’t anyone on the streets who raps, except for me. If I rap at the karaoke room, it would just become some kind of sound to my friends. You know the moving hand gestures that are hip hop’s specialty? I was picked on for that too. 

Despite that, I still kept liking hip hop and in my 2nd year of middle school, I went on the stage for the first time at a festival. I performed Dynamic Duo’s “Go Back” with a friend. I didn’t like standing in front of people, but at that time, I only felt like I have to do it. I showed the rap that I practice too, although it wasn’t anything great. (laughs) 

 Actually in middle school, I wanted to go to an arts high school so I composed classical music. But the tuition was too expensive so I ended up just going to a regular high school. I told my father “I have done enough music now so I’ll study hard in high school” and went to that school, but of course I didn’t. (laughs) 

Full-fledged activities as a rapper after joining a crew in town 

Middle school years was when I composed music to satisfy myself only, on a hobby level. It was after I changed the MIDI software that I started full-fledgedly making music. In 1st year of high school, I showed my song to a person that was like a mentor to me, and he liked it a lot. I was introduced to a hip hop crew called “D-town” and joined. That song had the feeling of new-age music but had hip hop beats similar to Nujabes. For your information, the mentor that acknowledged me studied at Berklee College of Music and is currently working as a movie music director.

I think I started rapping properly after joining the crew. I have been rapping since elementary school, but since there wasn’t anyone who raps around me, I thought I was the best. (laughs) 

After that, I came to the Daegu underground scene, and from then, I also got to know that you can’t make a living out of music in the underground scene. Most of the hyungs who made music with me that time was about 10 years older than me, there were also people over 30. They worked part-time jobs and made music at the same time, but it seemed very hard. Even when performing live, it was already a huge deal to have 100 audiences, and I hated that fact. I thought “If I success, could I be the liaison of the underground scene?”. There are plenty of people who make good music in the underground scene, so I thought when I become famous, I want to create a better environment for them, I want to show their music to the world. 

Just then, I knew Big Hit was holding an audition in Daegu. I came there knowing nothing but that it was a company formed by composer Bang Shihyuk, but I was told that I was accepted the next day. I heard it later that when he saw me, he immediately thought of letting me pass. Even though I wasn’t good at rapping that time. (laughs) 

Coming up to Seoul after becoming a trainee
Different from first thought…!? 

I came to Seoul on November 7th, 2010, when I was in 2nd year of high school. I still remember it now. 

I joined to company not to rap, but to become a composer. So I thought I didn’t need to dance, and let people who are good at rapping rap, I just needed to follow the producer path. But it became a totally different thing. (laughs) At that time, rather than idols, the company was planning to create a group consisting of rappers, but that changed. The members were Rap Monster, J-hope and me. There were also Supreme Boy, i11even-hyung who is now active in the underground scene and Iron-hyung who made it to the finals of Show Me The Money 3. I think if we debut like that, despite being good at rapping, we would fail. (laughs) 

Rapper & producer
The future Suga thinks of as a goal 

My 4-year-older brother plays a very big role in letting me be able to walk on the music path like this. He started liking hip hop under my influence, but when I came to the audition, everyone in my family opposed it except for my brother. They didn’t view music activities nicely, even my relatives told me “What music for you, go study.” So I only showed my songs to him. He was the first person I informed that I passed the audition too. Our relationship is so good that we’re like friends. I basically don’t drink alcohol, but I drink it with him only. 

My family all support me now, of course. Even the relatives that told me to study ask for my signatures. (laughs) 

These days, I have thoughts about wanting to also be active as a producer. I have no greed of being in the center, I just want to make music. I don’t have interest towards the entertainment world too, everyone says they want to act, or to go on variety shows, but I don’t want to do those. (laughs) But still, the first thing is to make BTS get 1st place in Korea as well as Japan. And myself too, I want to be the best rapper, the best producer. I don’t know if it would take time, but I have to try.

JPN - KRN © mondomizel1

OK THIS PIECE OF FANART HERE MADE ME THINK, WHAT IF VICTOR WAS ACTUALLY FORCED TO CUT HIS HAIR (totally doing a blind guess here), but just what if… we know he’s had long hair for some time now, and he’s 27, so there might have been a period of time when for a skater his age still having long hair was no longer needed, or maybe people were expecting a change.

And it got me thinking of Yurio, remember episode 3.

We know Yurio’s body is changing and has yet some time until it matures completely. He still has time to grow taller, get some more muscle, so of course this boy is trying to take advantage of his young age, and his looks which are still delicate an can pass as a more “feminine stance” at the stereotypical eyes of the public, in order to perform a certain style. And this, I’ve mention it before, but I’m sure Yurio is not the first one to stumble when growing up, he’s not the first one to struggle to reform his own skating style while his body increases in stature and it becomes heavier to handle.

And we don’t know but this case might have repeated itself with Victor (I repeat only my guess). But if you remember Victor mentions having outfits which wanted to portray both male and female genders at the same time. And yeah we know both his looks and long hair were able to adopt the act at that time. Victor is shown in a pretty delicate manner when young and with long hair in comparison to years later when you see him with short hair. Of course he is still tall, and graceful, but his slender form has now turned into a more muscular one. His facial features have now become more mature and elegant, he’s no longer a child.

He’s body started to outgrew his younger looks, of course, and what if… for him to match his current age change he had to cut his hair short, not because he didn’t like it, but because of what others expected of him.

And we know he is quite sensitive when it comes to things like his hair. “Is it getting that thin?” remember? So I’m sure he had a reason to keep it long and of course he took good care of it.

Besides, we all remember what Victor thought about skaters having fragile hearts, and what Lilia’s ideal was regarding skaters, how some have to throw their old selves in order to get to create a whole new image to satisfy the public and win. And Victor’s been doing this since he was 15, now he’s 27, is logical to think he may have had to change from that young skater he used to be, in order to get to the top, even if it meant changing little things about himself along the way.

Maybe I’m just reading too much into the details, but I just get this sense Victor’s long hair was a big part of him as a skater, and having to change it, wonder what made him take the decision.

Guang Hong Appreciation

Dedicated to @guang-hongs

Y’all know that YOI is breaking barriers but I cannot stress how PROUD I am of the barriers it is breaking for Chinese people. 

Growing up in China in one of the very traditional and old families (we have a genealogy that is traceable to the Tang Dynasty), the first thing that you are indoctrinated with is that boys are almost always better than girls. Girls are the ones given up for adoption. Many doctors are even forbidden to reveal the sex of an unborn baby because if it is a girl, it is immediately aborted for many people. Girls are inferior because they will be “married off” or become the “property of another lineage”. Girls are trained from a young age, especially in poorer regions, to be wives (that’s literally all that we’re good for). This said, boys are treasured and are also expected to act a certain way. They are burdened with the pressures to be manly or to provide for the family. A “girly” boy is absolutely unacceptable because girls are (as previously stated) inferior. It’s seen as embarrassing and dishonorable for a boy to engage in traditionally feminine activities or like them. There is a HUGE STIGMA of opposing gender norms in China esPECIALLY FOR BOYS. 

So let’s talk about Guang Hong. Guang Hong opposes all of that. Not only does he have frilly pink curtains in his room, cute decorations, and very well-manicured (slightly tinted???) fingernails, he takes suggestible selfies and doesn’t even attempt to hide his beauty. Guang Hong is EVERYTHING that a traditional Chinese son should not be. From his aesthetic to his personality, he is feminine as FUCK. 

But does anyone in the YOI universe give a shit? No. 

Guang Hong is defined by his talent, his drive, and his courage. His cuteness is an asset and not portrayed as something disgusting and that is literally SPITTING upon the traditional expectation for boys to be masculine in order to succeed as a man. Victor’s impression of Phichit’s selfie skills include Guang Hong striking that SEDUCTIVE pose, which is seen as POSITIVE. YOI is an amazing show that literally gives zero fucks about your gender, sexuality, and everything norms. It is shattering barriers and making history. I cannot stress how proud I am of their team and everything they have helped reshape so far. 


Happy Birthday 카이 // Kim Jongin [ January 14, 1994 ]
I always have to surpass myself. Yesterday’s me, no matter what good things happen, I forget them and want to do great things again. Instead of materialistic or physical outcomes, I want to spend time personally accepting, understanding myself. Activities are fun and make me happy, but I’m also happy seeing myself growing day by day. I would like for the me of today to sing better and dance better than the me of yesterday.” ∞ NYLON Interview


“Humans cannot reject temptation. When they are plunged into the depths of despair, likened to Hell, they will hold on to anything that may help them escape from the situation they are in, even if it’s merely a spider’s thread, no matter what sort of humans they are. That’s exactly what I did. Life was dull, boring, uninteresting. Heists, murders… everything sounded amusing to me. And tell me, Mingyu: if we are to die one day, wouldn’t it be better to have no regrets? (…)”

Dimmed Lights. Read here.

© 지상낙원  & © Gleaming Ripple

and I know a boy so bright I think the sun has to be jealous of his smile. And I want to turn him into a metaphor but it wouldn’t do him justice. I want to fill up every available space with the way he makes me feel- like he’s the rain on my roof, like he brings peace and safety, like he’s warmth and I’ve been cold for so long, like the way we move together sounds like applause, like how when I feel our fingers intertwine our hands turn into forest and we’re growing fast, planting roots wherever we can.
—  laceerainspoetry, The first kiss was a love poem I didn’t know would become my favorite.
I’m a feminist because...

I’m a feminist because everyone should be.

Growing up, my parents would always tell me to be properly dressed around my brothers. Never mind that they were walking around in short boxer briefs, it was me who had to be presentable. I was the girl, after all.

In school, I was always taught that the way I dressed affected a boy’s education. I was taught that the slight peek of my shoulder was enough to get me sent to the head office. It was much too distracting, because after all, a boy’s education had to be more important than a girl’s. At least, that was what they were teaching me.

This is why I’m a feminist.

I’m a feminist because it is 2017, and when I talk about how unfair it is that a professional athlete gets to walk away from the accusation of raping a girl without a single ding to their career, I’m some sort of radical that needs to calm down. Because that poor girl’s life will never be the same, but said athlete’s career is perfectly intact.

I’m a feminist because my aunt says things like, “Oh, those feminists, they just need to shave their armpits and get over it.” Because somehow the grooming of my body hair has everything to do with the rights I’m fighting for.

I’m a feminist because people still think you must have a vagina to be considered a woman.

I’m a feminist because I am 20 years old, and when I tell people I’m not sure I want to have kids, they look at me like I just defied all womankind.

I’m a feminist because when mothers choose to work rather than stay at home with their children, they aren’t doing “enough.”

I’m a feminist because when fathers choose to stay at home with their children rather than work, they somehow aren’t as “manly.”

I’m a feminist because parents still won’t let their sons play with Barbies.

I’m a feminist because young boys are taught that crying is bad. Showing emotion is bad, better to bottle it up and never feel. If you cry, you’re a girl, and no one wants to be a girl.

I’m a feminist because when my family talks about the Women’s March that happened yesterday, they say things like, “What’s protesting going to change?” and “They’re honestly just wasting their time. Nobody’s going to listen to them.” Never mind that the country we are living in found its freedom through protesting—No Taxation Without Representation. But I suppose that’s okay. It was men protesting then.

I’m a feminist because when my aunt saw a picture of a man marching with women yesterday, she snorted and said, “What’s he doing there? Doesn’t he have something better to do?” Her seven year old son was sitting next to her.

I’m a feminist because a highly qualified politician lost the presidential election to a less than mediocre businessman who based his campaign on misogyny, racism, bigotry, and slander. Because this country would rather see an over privileged, racist, homophobic, white man, whose years of experience sums up to zero, in office rather than a woman whose qualifications are more than his will ever be. Because I somehow have to have years of experience before I can even get my first job, but Donald Trump can get sworn into office without a single day of political experience.

I’m a feminist because the President of the United States speaks vilely of women and all minorities, and I’m the terrible one for disliking him.

I’m a feminist because I get made fun of for being a feminist.

I’m a feminist because I want the next generation of girls to live in a better world than mine.

I’m a feminist for these reasons and so many others.

I’m a feminist because everyone should be.

Somewhere in New York State is a boy with sunflowers for hands. Or there isn’t, but I thought there might be. There are at least twelve ways to make a myth out of a man but there’s only one good way to tend to something after you plant it. I expected you to know this. You had such a knack for making things grow in me. Somewhere in New York State is a girl drowning in a metaphor or thinking about a crosswalk or trying to figure out the difference between a partner and a muse; and she’s coming up empty-handed because you can’t look her in the face anymore. Aren’t you supposed to be able to wave before you cross the street to avoid me? What is every poem about if not this? You needed to love something other than yourself to feel alive and it wasn’t me. So you’re human. So you’re more boy than myth and all the flowers are left wilting. I named something in my garden after you and it died. I put your name in this poem and it ended.