this book is about something i just forgot what it was


Originally posted by thorinoakenshieldconfessions

A/N: This was requested by anon three days ago and I’m not going to put the request here because thats spoils it. I almost forgot about the request tbh so sorry anon. I hope this is what you wanted.

Summary:You have a secret to tell Thorin

Warnings: Ugly Crying 

Master List

You watch as Thorin plays with your baby boy. It had been four years since the Battle of the Five Armies, three since you were married to Thorin, and two since you had your son, Frerin II. He looked all over Thorin, but with h/c hair and e/c eyes. He was such a blessing after all the grief.

“Is something wrong love?” Thorin asks, picking Frerin up from the carpeted floor and moving to the bed where you were currently sat. You give him a small smile.

“Of course not, love. I was just thinking about how much of a blessing you both are,” you tell him, leaning over to kiss his cheek. He smiles at you and lays on the bed.

“Adad! Me want play,” Frerin grumbles, pouncing on his father’s belly. Thorin grunts and recoils. You laugh, reaching over to grab your son from doing more damage to your husband. “It’s time for bed, sweetheart,” you tell him, standing.

“I want sleep here, amad,” he tells you and you look at your husband. He shrugs and you smile. “Well I guess we can allow that,” you say and he jumps out of your arms and onto the bad. Thorin stands and the both of pull back the covers to let Frerin in and you both get into bed once he settles down.

You both move closer to him and you look at your little family. You’re little family that’ll soon come to an end.

The next day, you wander the halls, trying to look for Balin. Thorin said that he had given Balin a break today. He wasn’t as young as he used to be and deserved rest days.

You turn the corner and you bump into someone. The hand steadies you and you find Dwalin. You smile at him.

“Where’s the little one?” Dwalin asks. You usually always had Frerin with you unless it was a special occasion where one of his cousins wanted to watch him and today was that day.

“With Kili and Tauriel. Practice, you know?”

He just grunts and moves to walk pass you.

“Where’s Balin by the way. I wish to speak with him,” you ask him. “In the library. He’s supposed to be relaxing and yet he still somehow finds a way to work,” Dwalin scoffs before walking off. You roll your eyes and make your way to find Balin.

You find him easily in the back of the library, sitting at a table and reading a book on hobbits. Interesting read. You take a seat in front of him and he looks up from his book to address you.

“Hello, milady,” he says, closing the book and you glare at him. “Sorry, y/n. Force of habit,” he tells you and you shake your head. “What can I do you for?” He asks and suddenly your nerves come back. You had not even told Thorin about this. You hadn’t told anyone in fact. The only person that knows is Oin and an elf by the name of Hildrohim.

“Balin. There’s something wrong with me and I don’t know how to tell Thorin,” you start and he looks a bit confused. Last he checked, you were completely fine.

“What is it lassie? You know you can speak to me about anything,” Balin says, reaching over to grasp your hand in his. You look away as tears start gathering in your eyes.

“I-. I went to see Oin because I’ve been feeling weak for the past couple of months. Just completely tired and overwhelmed all the time. It’s like my entire body shut down. When I went to him, he gave me all these medicines and I always came back because nothing worked. He asked Thranduil for his best healer and an elf by the name of Hildrohim came and we met in Dale at Bard’s home. After doing a few examinations, he said that there was an incurable sickness within me,” you say, letting out a sob.

Balin comes over to you and pulls you into a hug. You wrap your arms around his neck and his go around your waist.

“I’m dying and I don’t know how to tell Thorin or Frerin or anyone. I’m such a failure,” you hiccup.

He rubs your back.

“It’s okay, y/n. It’s completely understandable. It happens,” Balin says. “But the life that we have built together was so amazing and I’m about to rip it a part because of something I can’t control and I can’t even tell Thorin!”

“Y/n. It is like you said. This is something you can’t control and Thorin will understand,” Balin replies. “But he’s already had so much taken away from him. His home, his parents, his brother. I would hate to cause him more pain,” you sob again and he just pulls you closer. You just continue to cry into him, wishing that you had never met Thorin so you wouldn’t be able to cause him so much pain.

A throat clears and you lift your head to find Thorin. You spring apart and try to wipe your tears. Balin is wiping away a few tears of his own. He dismisses himself, patting Thorin on the back on the way out.

“How much have you heard?” You ask, sniffling. “All of it,” he replies, reaching out a hand as if to not frighten you. You take it and he pulls you into a hug and the water works start going yet again with you just apologizing over and over and over again.

He pulls back and cups your face in his hands.

“Amralime. It is not your fault. None of this is ever your fault. You have brought so much joy in my life and everyone’s life you could never disappoint me. I just wished you had told me sooner. That way, I could love you up as much as possible,” he says, eyes searching yours.

“But you have lost so much-,”

“And I have gained so much by loving you. I will always love you and I will continue to love you until the end of my days,” he tells you and you pull him into another hug, hoping and praying to Mahal that you are given more than just two months to live. 

Thorins hopes and your prayers go unanswered and the Queen Under the Mountain ceased to exsist. The only happiness left for the King is his one and only child. The child that reminds him of the woman he had loved and had lost and everyday he wished their prayers hadn’t gone unanswered.

Tags: @sdavid09 @jotink78

Shit I forgot about in the Raven Boys

 I’m doing a re-read of The Raven Cycle because the first time around I read them so fast I apparently don’t remember shite about what happened. Or my memory is just that bad; possibly both. So just little things that were pointed out to me by my brain during my re-read. Will do for the others too eventually when I feel like it. 

  • Aglionby has a hunting club. Hound dogs, horses and all.  Fucking horses. Just how pretentious can one all boys boarding school get like smh 
  • The book takes place in April. I don’t know why I just assumed it was like June or something. I need to pay attention to dates more
  • Blue wears fingerless gloves that she knitted. God, no wonder Henry likes her so much, like that look is Madonna af 
  • Gansey has a frappuccino-stained notebook in his backseat. You know what that meanssss 
    • He’s also messy as fuck. Like god damn son do you have no shame?
  • Adam and Ronan dragged each other on dollys with Ronan’s BMW like those kids do give and shits about their safety 
  • Adam asks if he’s invited when they go somewhere. Someone protect this child 
  • When the Pig started up again, the Stevie Nicks song Gansey describes is called Edge of Seventeen. Perfect. 
  • Adam has shitty handwriting! 
  • 300 Fox Way’s phone number is often mistaken for a gentleman escort company, like whatt 
  • Declan is a senior at Aglionby. Does that make him and Ronan like Irish twins or something? I need answers 

Keep reading

I want a PG-13 Deadpool movie just to see Wade struggle with the regulations.

Like having him tell people “We can only use the f-bomb once in this movie, so I call it!” and have someone go, “What the f#%k are you talking about?” and him having to reel in the sexual innuendos, references and jokes to fit the PG-13 movie guidelines. Or having him substitute cuss words with food or something like “Mother churro, I forgot my ammo bag again!” that would just be so hilarious.

1.) life is too short to worry about if you’re gonna annoy the other person by double texting them, just fucking doing it. odds are they didn’t see your message or forgot to respond and that doesn’t make you annoying. (people double text me all the time and I love it because usually I just completely forget that they said something to me)

2.) you’re gonna be heartbroken. I know your heart feels so heavy but imagine how good it’s gonna feel when you finally receive the love you gave back and how good it’s gonna feel for it to not go to waste. the right one is out there, it just takes some time. but for now, keep picking up the pieces. it’s not your fault, remember that.

3.) if you see someone sitting alone, just go fucking sit by them and ask how they are.

4.) ask how people are, all the time. ask about them, ask what’s going on and have them update you. sometimes all people really need is just to talk and to know that someone does genuinely care about them

5.) don’t comment something negative on someone’s appearance if they can’t fix it within ten seconds. your words stick to people like glue. make sure what sticks is positive. this goes for yourself too, you’re slowly killing yourself by beating yourself up over these small things. relax. breathe. you’re so much more than you think.

6.) you’re gonna have some really bad days and when you do, you’re gonna hurt people. that’s inevitable, but make sure you’re letting the people you hurt know that you’re sorry. it’s okay that you had a bad day and took out your sadness on people, it happens. but please make sure you’re doing more good than harm to them.

7.) always always always tell the people you love that you’re thankful for them and that you appreciate and love them. sometimes people go so long without hearing how loved they are and they’re completely unaware. say it before it’s too late.

8.) writing, whether you’re good at it or not, is always a great way to cope. so is talking about your problems. don’t be scared to express your feelings, bottling them up only makes you explode in the long run.

9.) listen more than you talk. once you start listening more you’ll realize that people really do say some pretty fantastic things.

10.) be kind to yourself. life is way too short to be filled with so much sorrow about things you cannot change. yes, life sucks complete asshole sometimes but you’re living and that’s enough. you have so much light inside of you that you need to pull out. and I promise you, even if you see darkness there is light in you and everyone else can see it. friend, you are the brightest light in the darkest of rooms, you light up so many lives and it’s about god damn time you start see it.

—  ten things I’ve learned so far in 2016 // ig writingmyself

I just realized something truly remarkable. You can say this doesn’t mean anything but I just…don’t know. It’s something….

So, the summer before I met X (almost 2 years ago), I started getting into Haruki Murakami. He’s a wonderful writer. He’s the king of magical realism! (Besides Garcia Marquez, of course!) And Murakami wrote this book, “Sputnik Sweetheart”. It’s about a twenty-something girl, Sumire, who’s obsessed with books and Jack Kerouac. Her best friend, only identified as “K” is in love with her but she doesn’t see him as anything more than a friend. Sumire is offered a job by an older, attractive woman named Miu. I forgot what the job was. Possibly an assistant? I forgot how the book ends but Sumire and Miu take a trip to Greece and Sumire disappears under suspicious circumstances. I don’t remember if she was ever found.

Anyway, I realized that reading this book just shy of a few weeks of meeting X was kind of like a foreshadowing! Isn’t that nuts? In some ways, I’m a lot like Sumire—shy and inexperienced, don’t know much about the world. Then, I meet this woman, who is beautiful beyond language and ends up turning my world upside down.

I feel like I’ve lost myself in her, in X. And it’s both a good and bad thing. She makes me forget everything for a while, like the whole time I’m with her, I’m just dreaming.

anncatz1  asked:

hello! i was wondering do u know the title of a book with a bright blue cover and a red banner folded over on the front and the title has something to do with fire?? and it's about 3 girls and their kinda messed up lives and how they connect and it's kinda rebel and an adult book i think? thanks a lot if you could help, i didn't know who else to ask and i totally forgot the title urghh i want to find it haha thanks!!

I just spent ages trying to find this book, but I’ve had no luck! :(

Do any of you lovely followers have any idea what book this might be and can help @anncatz1​ out? 

Edit: @badpunsandbooks and @severelywisevoid both say that it might be How to Start a Fire by Lisa Lutz! 

Analyzing the theme of literature and poetry can seem a bit difficult at times, but once you break it down, it gets a lot simpler! These are just some tips I figured out while working through a massive essay writing weekend. From actually finding the theme to the writing process, these should be able to help a little bit.

(mostly, this is just what I attempt to do while flailing through work haha)

1. Read the summary first.
I know, I know, reading the summary first spoils the plot for you, but in my case, it allows me to focus on the thematic progression of the book. You are reading this book/poem/whatever it is to analyze it and write about it. Reading the summary lets you know beforehand what is going to happen and give you a little insight on why the characters or plot are being written that way.

2. Look for literary devices.
A literary device is something that a writer uses to convey their message. Similes, metaphors, and analogies are all literary devices. Oftentimes, you can look at literary devices to gain further insight on the plot. Repeated phrases can also aid you in your search. 

3. Post-it notes and sticky tabs are your friends.
When you find something interesting, note it down on a post-it note or mark it with a sticky tab. When you read, the first thought that flashes in your mind can be helpful sometimes. Passing by it can cause you to forget that thought in the first place.

4. Make a chart or a diagram.
When I have to analyze a character and/or their actions, I usually make a chart, mind map, or a diagram depicting them. I start off with their name and then list down all of their character traits and their actions. After that, I try to use the knowledge of their traits to give a reason for their actions. It’s helpful to see all of your thinking laid out, and might help you out.

5. Divide and conquer.
When you have to write your essay (well, if you have to write an essay on it, but you probably do), divide your paragraphs into an outline. That way, it’s much easier to look for the evidence in the text that you need and you can organize your writing more clearly.

6. Reread.
Sometimes, when you reread things, you start to think more in depth about what the author was trying to portray. The first time reading it through was more like an introductory part of reading, but now, you have more knowledge about the end and you can use that to help you through searching for textual evidence or whatnot. It’s like the first tip, except a little more in depth.

7. Vocabulary.
When the author uses a certain word you don’t know, look it up! Usually, an author picks their words carefully and for a reason. After all, there’s a difference between words with similar meanings such as “tired” and “fatigued.” The impression that words leave on you can also contribute to the theme.

8. Avoid summarizing the plot.
This is a pitfall to many essays and conjectures. We already know the plot of the story. What teachers want to know is how you explain the reason for the plot happening. Be careful about that!

9. Avoid using first-person pronouns.
Keep yourself out of your analysis. Using a third-person point of view to present your paper is a much more academical approach and directs the reader of your paper to the subject being presented. 

10. Be concise.
A redundant analysis is long and laborious to read through, and oftentimes, doesn’t make any sense at all. It is much better to have a few short and focused examples and sentences than to have five examples that go in circles.

11. Spelling and Grammar.
This is a “no-duh” kind of tip, but it’s really important. If you have incorrect spelling and grammar in your paper, it will mark you down for conventions, make you sound strange in your sentence structure, and look unprofessional. Please, please, please, use correct spelling and grammar rules. This includes spelling errors, wrong use of tenses, puncutation, etc.

Overall, these are just a few tips that I tend to use a lot during English class. Analyzing literature can be difficult, but if you just persevere, you can do it! Good luck!
If you have any additional tips that you think would help, don’t hesitate to message me and I’ll add it. Thanks!

picture source (creative commons licensed)

My math class

So today I wore my Gryffindor (House pride) sweatshirt to school, and in math class half of the class literally stopped what they were doing, shared what house they were in, and then proceeded to spend the rest of the class discussing everything in the hp universe, from Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them to whether or not Snape really loved Lily. And we all momentarily forgot that we were stressed and tired, and instead brightened each other’s days by talking about something that has such a strong influence in our lives.

And though we didn’t grow up as the books came out (we were seven when Deathly Hallows was released) i truely believe that we as just as part of the Harry Potter Generation as those who waited for every books release date.

And I find it so depressing that one day, a class full of 15 year olds won’t be wearing Gryffindor sweatshirts and discussing Slughorn’s wand or the rules of Quidditch. Those kids will be missing so much

god I forgot how much I love the Book of Lost Tales Valar. They’re nothing like the Silm Valar, way more active and way more comprehensible in their actions, but I think what I like about them most is that the narrative isn’t remotely presenting them as paragons, and without that narrative weight pressing down they’re fantastic. Tell me someone is the wisest and most compassionate in Arda, and I’ll sit here pursing my lips and second-guessing all their decisions; but just tell me he’s the Lord of the Airs and I’m like, all right, Lord of the Airs, let’s see this.

They’re not wise at all but honestly I think they’re more compassionate, and they’re hella more likable. I guess making mistakes is something I associate with compassion, because when you care about people you try to help them out even without a good plan or a certainty of success. You help them even when it makes you look stupid. Seeing the Valar try, and look ridiculous, and sometimes fall down on their ethereal all-powerful faces, makes me like them more than a million essays could ever do. 

So what prompted this specifically was the story of how, in Book of Lost Tales the first War Between the Valar and Melkor was averted by Manwë being a brilliant cunning bastard:

Keep reading

Imagine talking on the phone with Leo.
He called just to ask you a quick question and ended up getting distracted.
You two talked all about your days and the books that you’re reading and what his family was up to.
He told you about the new game Mikey got and how they all had taken turns playing it with him.
He asked you questions about your life and found himself learning a lot about. As you talked, he began to wonder why you guys hadn’t hung out a lot because you have a lot in common and you’re really fun to talk to.
“Oh, hey, it’s pretty late!”
“Is it?” he asked.
“Yeah, it’s nearly one in the morning. I guess we just forgot time…”
“Yeah, I should probably get to bed…but before you hang up, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?”
“Um, yeah. That’d be perfect.”
“We can do something after training. I’ll text you.”
“I’ll be waiting. Good night, Leo.”
“Night, Y/N.”
He hung up, smiling and staring at his shell cell. He didn’t understand why he felt so excited…but he suddenly couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

I got tagged!

I was tagged by @bloodstained-porcelain-doll

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better

How old are you?

What are you talented at?
Writing, singing, playing violin, and being upset when I know people are wrong about something I know very well but I can’t tell .because I keep my knowledge as a secret.

What’s a big goal you’re working towards (or have already achieved)?
So… I’m trying to overcome my mental health issues. I’m OCD and I have a borderline personality, depression, anxiety… So.. Yeah. It’s a long way up, kids.

What’s your aesthetic?
So… I don’t know what are these things. If someone could explain it to me I’d be really happy. 

Do you collect anything?
Books. And notebooks. I have a ton of notebooks where I wrote things and just… Forgot about them. If I have to get ride of them, I spend the whole day cutting the pages so what I wrote can’t be read. 

What’s a topic you always talk about?
Game of Thrones, SPN cast, the books I read, music and the books I’ve written/I’m currently working on.

What’s a pet peeve of yours?
I have a lot of those. You don’t want me to list it or I’ll finish this in 2018.

Good advice to give?
Stop caring so much about what people will say. Be you, say “fuck you” and just jump. In the worst case scenario, you’ll have a big story to tell in the future.

What are three songs you’d recommend?
What Have You Done - Whithin Temptation
Please, don’t say you love me - Gabrielle Aplin
When he sees me - Waitress, the Musical

I tag: @wayward-oneshots @supernatural-squadd @andyl394 @wayward-mirage @writing-soldiers @alloftheimaginesblog @not-moose-one-shots and @spectaculacular-sammy . I don’t think I’ve ever talked with most of you guys, but I want to be your friend.

kintherye  asked:

What are the saddest song/movie/book/mv/anime/drama for you?

hi !!

WOW this is a big question i’m a cry baby.

Mmmmmmh one of the saddest drama i watched was Last Friends. It’s a japanese drama talking about a group of friends dealing with shit basically haha.

Saddest movies i’d day The Green Mile. For the record my dad had downloaded it and my big sister and i had just watched iron man or something and it was like 7pm so we’re like yo let’s watch another movie so we picked this one without knowing what it was about AND OH GOD. ANOTHER SUPER SAD MOVIE would be Unforgettable/Pure Love. It’s. I cried for 25 minutes.

Saddest MV…….. i’d have to pick I Mean you (your words) by 5dolls BUT ALSO The Day Before by Nell. They both are two kind of sads but never fail to make me emo haha.

One of the song i like to listen to the most when i’m not feeling well is King by Lauren Aquilina. It’s. It’s super sad but also. I don’t know. It helps. That’s the only one i can think about right now. Also Quiet by This will destroy you. 

I don’t really recall any sad book !! i have to admit i’m not reading at all since like, two years, i’m just reading fics, i just can’t read idk why :(.

And for animes…… oh boi

Chrno Crusade is one of my all time fav even tho i only saw it once, sometimes im like “HEY WHAT IF I REWATCH THE ENDING” and i sob like a baby. AnoHana is nice and sad too. Your lie in april was a good surprise and i cried too aw. And i can’t help but mention Jigoku Shoujo. Like this anime is awesome !!!! it’s not, sad, i mean it fucking is when you get to the end of season arcs, but it’s really, i don’t know, miserable and i love it so much.

here u go !!

A finger pokes his cheek and Dipper turns his head, looking at his grinning friend. “Guess what,” Bill says wiggling his eyebrows.

Dipper sighs, slowly lowering the book in his hands. “What is it this t-”

Bill quickly cuts in. “I think I love you,” he answers, his expression serious. 

Dipper blinks and feels his face heat up. He reads a lot of books, but not enough to know what to say when a friend - best friend - confesses to him. Mouth dry and brain currently shut off, he tries to at least say something before Bill’s expression cracks and he snickers.

“April Fools! Should’ve seen the look on your face!” he says, clapping his hands together.

Dipper shoves him. “Ugh. You’re horrible and everything about you is awful and- you’re just the worst,” Dipper says, a hand covering his face. “I seriously forgot it was April Fools day today.”

A gasp. “You forgot my favorite day of the year? For shame!” Bill says, putting a hand over his forehead because he’s over dramatic about everything. “Anyways I gotta go April Fool your sister now so I’m gonna skedaddle. See you nerd.”

“It’s going to end badly but good luck Bill,” Dipper warns him, sticking his nose back into his book. Bill cackles in response waving him off. 

As soon as Bill turns the corner though, he buries his face into his hands. God dammit. It couldn’t have gone any worse than that.

“’Just wait and see his reaction’ she said! ”And if he doesn’t react well, just say it was a joke’ she said,“ Bill grumbles to himself in a voice that sounded distinctly similar to a certain Pines twin. "Well I say drink yourself to death for the same effect because that went horribly!”

Bill throws his hands into the air, stomping off to the other twin’s room for better advice.

do you remember before everyone had cell phones 

When you would wake up before a friend at a sleepover and be bored out of your mind for two hours
When you’d be at the doctor’s office with nothing to distract you from the anxiety so you’d sit there equally bored and terrified for 45 minutes
When you had to bring your camera if you wanted to take a picture of anything
How I have maybe 30 baby pictures I’ve seen of myself because it wasn’t easy to quickly take a picture 19 years ago
When you couldn’t remember what something is called so it just bugged you until you forgot about it
When I was young and we saw a car wreck and we could only call 911 when we got home seven minutes later 
When you had to sit through your siblings millionth junior league sports game and you dreaded every Saturday evening because of it
When you didn’t read as much or as often because it wasn’t that easy to get new books but now you have a world at your fingertips

Everyone has this strange idea that before cell phones we were all calm, productive people who were never bored 


Roy: Hey, I’m sorry Angus! Work’s been so crazy this week I completely forgot to ask you how your piano recital went. Did you kill it?

Angus and Sonia look at each other.

Roy: Oh no. What happened? You didn’t throw up again, did you? Remember that trick I told you about imagining everyone in the audience is wearing their underwear? Did you do that? Because it totally works-

Angus: I never got to play. We were too late.

Roy: What do you mean?

Sonia: Don’t overreact, Roy. But I just kind of forgot about it. Anyway we eventually got there but Angus’ teacher said someone else had taken Angus’ place because they thought he wasn’t coming and there wasn’t much she could do about it and the recital couldn’t go over time because someone had booked the hall for a stupid wake or something-

Roy: You forgot about it? How on earth did you forget about it? What were you doing?

Keep reading

This morning Jestre came in with a big box from my mom as a birthday gift.

And when I opened it, what I found inside was something that is probably the best birthday present I’ve ever received. I immediately started crying, and hugged it close to me. 

My mom sent me a book she wrote a long time ago and used to read to me when I was 5. I would make her read it to me again and again and again and I never ever forgot about it.

Like I loved that book so much and I’ve constantly talked about it to Jestre.

I might have even rambled about it here, I dunno.

It’s a choose your own adventure fantasy book and she took the time to number and map every page by hand.

The opening page is a dedication page to me, giving me permission to illustrate and publish it on-line to make it interactive.

I just keep on crying, I’m so unbelievably happy. 

This is probably the thing that inspired me as a writer.

Little things that bring us joy:

1. The way your creamer emerges in your coffee and makes a pretty pattern

2. When you wake up in the middle of the night and realize that you still have more time to sleep

3. Buying new clothes and being excited to wear them the next day

4. Finding jeans that fit perfectly

5. When your crush texts you first

6. Finding out that you’re not the only person who didn’t do their homework

7. When your parents say that they’re proud of you

8. Being so excited for something the next day that you can’t sleep

9. Reading over an old book that you forgot about

10. Taking a good picture of yourself

11. When a baby curls their tiny hand around your finger

12. Discovering new music

13. When someone compliments you

14. That first sip of coffee in the morning

15. When your makeup turns out perfect on the first try

16. Acing a test that you were worried about

17. The cold side of the pillow

18. The feeling after you’ve finished a good conversation with someone you love

19. Cutting your hair and being happy with the new look

20. The moment you catch your crush staring at you

—  Part 1 // D.P
Always You

Arrow Summer Movie AU Challenge

Week One: Rom/Com (Inspired by Definitely Maybe)

Oliver sighed once he finished telling Connor about his conversation with Felicity. And by the look on his eight year olds face, he knew his son was annoyed at him.

“Okay kid you gotta say something already,” Oliver said, as he rested his chin on his fists. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“You kept the book?” Connor finally said, meeting his father’s eyes. “You kept it for ten years?”

“Technically it was nine, but yes.”

“But it was from her dad.”

“I know.”

“So what you just tossed it in a box and forgot you had it?”

“Con it’s complicated,” Oliver said rubbing a hand across his face. He promised himself a long time ago he’d never lie to Connor. But how did you explain to your kid, that you were a massive jerk, who couldn’t let go of the last thing you had of a girl who you never let yourself be with.

“Really because it sounds pretty simple,” Connor insisted with a glare. “You knew how much it meant to her, how long she’d been looking for that book. I mean you said yourself you helped her look through a dozen bookstores. And then when you found it, you didn’t even think to give it to her.”

“Of course I thought about giving it to her. I thought about it everyday for nearly a decade, but the longer I had it, the harder it was to give it to her.”

“I think it sounds like a dick move.”

“Hey, just because your Uncle Tommy talks like that doesn’t mean you get to.”

Connor pursed his lips, causing Oliver to smile a little. That’s when Con looked the most like Sandy. With the look of judgement and pity, wrapped in a coating of concern.

“There’s one more thing I don’t get,” Connor finally said.

“Just one,” Oliver quipped with a grin. “Shoot.”

“Why would you change everyone’s name except hers.”


“In the story, Claudia was Mom, and Katie’s aunt Laurel. but you didn’t change Felicity’s. How come?”

Oliver shook his head, not really having an answer for the kid. When he started the tale he didn’t want to give Sandra away early on. He wanted Connor to go a a sort of journey in discovering how they met. And he enjoyed it too. It’s the first time since Sandra’s funeral that Connor really smiled.

So changing Laurel was the first step, and then Sandra had told him once she would have named Con, Claudia if the wheel of fate had given her a girl, but when it came time to place a name for Felicity he just… couldn’t. he didn’t want to change a single detail about their time together.

“I guess I wasn’t being really clever,” Oliver finally said as he stood from the table, clearing their dishes as he went. “You want ice cream for dessert?”

“No, I want you to admit that you didn’t change Felicity’s name because you still love her,” Con replied crossing his arms.

“Why does this mean so much to you, bud?”

He was quiet for a long time, something Oliver could tell Con definitely got from  him. The Connor spoke. “Because I want you to be happy.”

But Oliver could feel the unspoken ending, yes Connor wanted him to be happy, but he also wanted them both happy. “Con as long as I have you I’m happy.”

“It’s not the same,” he said, as he swung his legs back and forth. “Mom used to say that if you’re lucky enough to find the light to your dark, that you shouldn’t let it dim out. I think you still have a chance to have your light too. But you just got to be honest.”

Oliver met his son’s eyes and sighed. How was it that his eight year old was more insightful than he was. Another thing Con got from Sandra.

“You’re right,” Oliver said dropping the dishes into the sink. “Go get your coat.”

Connor smiled running from the table, and Olive couldn’t help his nervous smile either. One way or another he was gonna see this thing with Felicity through to the end.

It was colder than he thought it would be outside, or maybe it wasn’t the cold at all. Maybe it was standing on someone’s doorstep hoping they’d buzz you in.

“Maybe she’s not home, we could try again tomorrow,” Connor said, looking up at him with that famous pout that Thea had taught him early on.

“Maybe it’s just not meant to be,” Oliver replied moving to walk off.

“Oliver?” He heard her voice, crisp in the night air. It wasn’t coming for them speaker box, but for an open window above them.

“Felicity, I, um, I tried to buzz your apartment,” he replied looking up at her like an idiot. But he couldn’t help the bright smile that was plastered to his face.

“Yeah the buzzer works fine, but the speaker’s kinda spotty. So I don’t usually let people up unless I’m expecting them… I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I know, but I wanted to talk to you.”

“You’re doing this all wrong. Tell her the story,” Connor hissed for the stoop, with an eye roll. But Oliver just shushed him.

“Who’s down there with you?” Felicity asked, and even for the sidewalk he could tell she was quirking her brow.

Connor jumped from the steps, coming to stand next to him. He waved up at Felicity with a smile.

“Uh Felicity this is Connor, my son.”

He could see the pause on her face, but it was just a flicker that melted into a smile. But when she focused back on him it was a glare. “It’s kinda of cheating to bring your kid. How am I supposed to say no to that face.”

“If you learn how it’d be kind of you to pass off the secret,” he joked, as he ruffled Connor’s hair. “Look I get that you hate me. What I did, not giving you the book it was–”

“A dick move,” Connor added with a nod, causing Felicity to laugh.

Oliver groaned, covering Connor’s mouth with his hand. “Despite his mouth, he’s right. It wasn’t my place to keep that from you. And I’m sorry.”

She seemed to be contemplating something before she spoke again. “Then why did you?”

“Honestly?” He shrugged as he met her eyes. “I know I told you I couldn’t be with you, but at the end of the day, I didn’t want to lose maybe the last piece of you I would ever have. You do deserve to be with someone who isn’t afraid to be happy, and who can make you happy in return. I hope you found that someone.”

“Dad,” Connor groaned as he elbowed Oliver’s stomach, causing Oliver to stumble a little for the unexpected motion. He looked down at Connor who was glaring at him. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.”

Oliver looked back up, but Felicity had left her window, and he couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his chest. Though it wasn’t much, and it was nine years late, at least he tried. It’s what he would want Con to take away from this whole thing. That no matter what you did, you should always try to smooth it out, even if things don’t work out in the end.

“Come on bud, let’s go home,” Oliver said, patting Connor on the back.

“No,” his son pleaded, but still took Oliver’s hand. “Maybe she went to get the phone or something. Maybe she’ll come back to the window.”

“No more maybe’s,” Oliver smiled, pulling him along.

They were almost a building away when he heard the footsteps on pavement. And every part of him screamed that it was her.

He turned just in time to see her flush faced stopping before them, her blonde hair wild from the brief sprint, but she was smiling. And oh how that smile still had the ability to warm him up.

“What story?” Felicity asked, looking between Connor and Oliver. “Because you know how much I hate mysteries.”

“I do remember that,” Oliver said with a grin. “I was just telling Con about one of my two happiest stories.”

“You should hear it, it’s pretty good,” Connor added with a wink, which caused both Felicity and Oliver to burst into a laugh.

“Well if you two are free, you could come up stairs, maybe tell me that story.”

“I’d like that,” Oliver nodded. Connor nodded in approval, walking on ahead of them to Felicity’s building.

“Oh and Oliver,” she stopped him, meeting his gaze. “There’s no one else. It was always you.”

He pulled her up on her toes, pressing a deep kiss to her lips. “Same here.”