this blog is a joke my life is a joke

20 years from now
  • Daughter: I like this group
  • Me: i'm so sorry
  • Daughter: why?
  • Me: i'll call the teachers
  • Daughter: What? Why?
  • Me: I'm calling your dad to save up money?
  • Daughter: What the heck?
  • Me: I might call your friends to say you're over them
  • Daughter: the heck?
  • Me: Goodbye social life
  • Daughter: MUM!
  • Me: Want to make a blog?
  • Daughter: Mu-
  • Me: I can help you make one
  • Daughter: But M-
  • Me: Sh! I'm trying to find a good fan fic of them
  • Daughter: Mu-
  • Me: Or maybe I could teach you how to make one
  • Daughter: Mum, Ple-
  • Me: My baby is becoming one of me!
  • Daughter: DAD!

Deadass i hate ppl who tell me i’m depressing bc like????? yeah bitch of course!!!? i’m fucking?? Depressed???  what did u expect

anonymous asked:

I really hope this blog is a joke. Please tell me this blog is a joke. Like the things you say are funny but I really hope you're just kidding.

no i’m dead serious, a straight person stole my nose and now i’m campaigning against them. i won’t stop until either my nose is returned by joseph wheeler who i knew in the third grade or until being straight is illegal. i have never made a joke in my life. i don’t even know what a joke is. who are you? what am i typing? i can’t see anything. i don’t run a blog. go away.

anonymous asked:

I have so much respect for you, I feel like you're my favourite blog now. Because, normally most of the harry blogs are like 'oh yeah we're together, you just dont know' and all that shit, like they could possibly have a chance with the most gorgeous man alive. But you are so realistic and genuine. You are living in the realistic world, spilling true facts that you couldn't be in a relationship with him. Not fanfic world - and I loooove that!

Well, first off, I’m going to say thank you, cause that’s quite the compliment! So thank you very much. But I think that it’s only right to emphasize that the “we’re together you just don’t know” joke is just that – a joke that we all make (I think I’ve been known to make it myself, although I’m wary about making jokes since they don’t always go well, so I might not have made this particular one yet).

 There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about being with him – gorgeous though he may be, and as incredibly successful in his chosen field(s) as he is, and even living the lifestyle he lives… there’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about being with him. It’s no different than what people have done for ages, with everybody from Clark Gable to Prince William to even completely fictional characters in stories. To want to be with him and to think about every day moments or some of the larger than life scenarios (some of which are a reality for him), doesn’t make somebody unrealistic, I don’t think – it just makes them human, it just means they can have fun in their minds thinking about things. It’s perfectly okay to *want*  things with him – anything – and it isn’t restricted to a certain amount of people or people who only fit into a certain mold, whatever that mold is. Although fantasy isn’t real, there’s not anything unrealistic about fantasy, if that makes sense – it is inherently not a fact, but someone can, for instance, fantasize about marriage one day. It isn’t a fact, it’s a fantasy, but in theory it COULD happen. Yeah, Harry Styles is… a few dozen steps up the ladder, just in the strictly technical sense of it all, because he does have his circles and we can only operate inside of our social circles – all of us – however unfair that might seem and however that might make us appear, but he’s still… a fun fantasy to have. And people wanting that doesn’t make them deluded, it just means it’s fun to think about, cause isn’t it?

And although there are so many people in the world who want him – so many on this website, so many off it, so many people who haven’t heard of him, and so many people who haven’t met him yet and who don’t know they want him – the fact is, we don’t know who he’s gonna meet, where he’s gonna go, where any of these many, many people are going to go and meet. The odds for all of them are small, but like… even the bloggers here who make lighthearted comments, we don’t know where they’ll go. I’m not saying he’ll wind up with anyone ever, cause there’s NO way to predict that, but just… there are a lot of people – on here, off here, who haven’t heard of him, who haven’t met him and don’t know they want him – who might not “seem” like it could be “realistic” for them now, but that doesn’t mean it won’t ever be. Hell, looking at 16 year old Harry, people probably would have told him, “You. 23. Debut album. Self-titled. Massively successful career already well established” and that would have been unrealistic, you know? 

The reasons why I wouldn’t be in a relationship with him are my reasons and my reasons alone. Granted, I’m also the first to say he wouldn’t want a relationship with me (but that’s… listen, I don’t talk about myself a lot here, cause that’s not what I’m here to do, but I’m not my biggest fan. It’s cool, it’s fine, I’m working on it, but that means that I’ve got my own reasonings and perceptions of myself that influence that), so he’d have his reasons, too, but…. My reasons for not thinking it would be fair to him to have a relationship with him or thinking he wouldn’t want a relationship with me have everything to do with me. Not because of who he is, not because of who he’s been with in the past or what social circles he runs in, just me. He’s a guy, and just a guy. Although certain situations will put certain people at more of an advantage… the world is so big, life is so long, people are doing so many amazing things (and of course, there are so many more who aren’t allowed the opportunities they so very much deserve, but that is a WHOLE other discussion that will take MUCH more than my little ol’ blog and feelings to solve). 

But like… I dunno, in another world where I’m a little more ok with myself, I’d like to think it wouldn’t be SO outrageous to entertain the thought/to joke about being in a relationship with him… gorgeous man or not. I’ve joked about him being the sun but… he isn’t the sun. It’s ok to want him. it’s ok to fantasize about him. It’s ok to want a man who seems to be as respectful, hardworking, considerate, genuine, compassionate, careful, and artistic as he is. There’s no admission requirement to love him and support him, or anyone else – no height requirement, or restriction, no weight limit or minimum, no… nothing. He’s about inclusivity, and I’ve got to believe he’d never demean people who think he’s attractive based off ANYTHING. I think he’d find it flattering, and I don’t see him as being the type to make anybody feel like he’s above them or out of their league or anything. I don’t see him as the type of person to make people feel stupid for thinking he’s attractive. And in a world where he’s got a little more freedom with his words, I could see him joining in on the fun joke. 

anonymous asked:

What do you think INTP(female) X ENTP(male) relationship would be like?

**Keep in mind that I’ve never dated in my entire life, so this will be funny/sarcastic. It you want a more serious answer, you should probably ask other blogs, look it up, etc.

How they might start dating:

It would begin with the INTP being sleep deprived (and therefore, more outwardly confident) and cracking a really witty joke/pun in class. This would spike ENTP’s curiosity, considering that INTP’s usually the quiet one. ENTP, of course, makes like five jokes/puns going off of INTP’s. After class, ENTP goes and chats with the INTP. INTP is shy and awkward at first, but they end up exchanging numbers.

They end up becoming friends by sending each other memes and interesting articles. They both eventually develop feelings for each other. ENTP starts flirting with INTP when they see each other in person, but INTP is completely oblivious to it. INTP hides their feelings because they have no idea whether ENTP likes them back.

One day, an ENFP friend is talking with them. After ENTP flirts for a while to no avail, ENFP finally exclaims, “CAN’T YOU SEE THAT ENTP IS FLIRTING WITH YOU!?!?” at INTP. INTP doesn’t really know how to respond and uncomfortably mutters something like, “Okay, sure,” and zones out from shock.

After that conversation awkwardly disbands, INTP texts ENTP asking if they really have feelings for them. Being the flirt they are, ENTP would reply with a “…maybe,”. Because INTP is more confident over text, they say something like, “Well, I like you too, so we should date or something,” and immediately regrets hitting send, because they’re worried that ENTP actually doesn’t like them and that ENFP was just joking or something. ENTP’s response is something like, “That would be lit!” (or some other kind of weird, meme-ish phrase). They set up a date, and both happen to arrive at the date’s destination at the same time: 15 minutes after the time they were supposed to meet. They go on more dates, and eventually become a couple.

This was a lot longer than I thought it would be, considering that I just came up with this right now. Hopefully this is actually somewhat decent because I literally just used stereotype stuff from my brain to write this.

Thanks for asking! If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask me. My ask box is always (metaphorically) open!

theheirofillea  asked:

Hey! Honestly your blog is hilarious and i always scroll through it after rehearsal ahah xD Im a violinist and a pianist and the anon who always drops viola jokes gives me life because some of my friends are violists and i show the jokes to them and they get pissed lolol! Thanks again for being a really cool musical bud :)

you’re a cool musical bud, my bud

When my tongue tastes the vodka, that’s when my mind is awake. I can think more soundly. I can create beautiful pieces of work that I would not be able to create if I were sober. A lot of what I create is in the name of heartbreak, but honestly so be it because it’s beautiful
—  Confessions of the Soul

im sad that i dont know any of my followers. before i remade they ttalked to me n helped me because im not really a joke blog i keep it more serious. i guess a lot of u follow me for jokes but then jsut unfollow the second i tlak about wanting to kill myself or life issues. i understand but i miss the connection i used to have with my 3500 followers

Things in EoS that caused me physical pain: part 3

Take my body back to the cabin

warcrowned  asked:

♡ + poptarts

yet another hc meme || accepting

This is funny because I actually have a headcanon for this thats’ ridiculously long and convoluted. I know most people think I have this whole poptart thing on this blog as a joke, and you are all partially correct this is half a joke that turned into something else. I just enjoy indulging in because 1. its a lot like my own life and 2. it makes people smile.

To start off I know some people don’t know what a poptart is, you can see images of them [ here ] [ here ] and [ here ]. They are literally processed and boxed pastry things that are definitely not healthy for you. Does this stop Percy or myself from eating minimum a pack daily ??? no. It doesn’t.

So this dear love of poptarts we can trace all the way back to a very young age. Like many children, Percy needed breakfast before he ran off to school for the day ( we will not get into schools here thats a whole other ballgame ) and most days considering how he grew up it was something quick he could eat while running out the door. It just so happens poptarts, while not nutritious in the way other things might be, were and still are an easy on the go food. It also helps that in some of the school cafeterias he has known over the years they sell them for lunch. Don’t have money for the real food ??? at least the poptarts are a dollar. So they started to become a habit snack.

As I have said so before, in this blogs canon Percy has a ridiculous metabolism considering all the factors. As someone who daily deals with such a thing you literally need to eat every few hours or so or your body runs through the energy quicker then you can keep up and you crash. Foods such as goldfish / candy / oreos / poptarts / etc are quick ways to solve such problems for a small period of time and are easy to carry on you all day. You just grab some and throw them in your backpack / etc. and you’re set. Poptarts are just one of the choices he grew fond to as they offer a variety of flavors so you don’t get bored eating the same thing over and over again. They are also less messy then some other options.

After a while they were cemented as a habit in his life and he’s honestly prone to almost always have a pack on him. They’re a simple, easy to acquire snack that doesn’t burn a huge hole in your pocket like other snacks. It also helps that you can make homemade ones and that they are almost made to share ( if you’re worthy ). It’s all kind of complicated but like a lot of people you have that one stupid food you keep returning to that shouldn’t be a thing and for Percy it’s just that poptarts are His Thing™ if that makes sense. 

anonymous asked:

I mean, YiKeS. I got a "Whoa there! Please wait an hour before asking any more questions" ban on your blog so... I haven't encountered that yet, but now I can check it off my bucket list! Anyway, continuing where I left off- woah- you totally sidestepped my joke! ;) And what was with your second to last statement...? (Also, STAN K.A.R.D YeeeeeEEEEEE) But, the phrase 'your meaning of life' is 4 words. However, I like your spin on it much better!! ~Anonie

(( DID YOU REALLY OMG i only got that once and it was sad :(

yeye i noticed ! but i didn’t know if it was an intended joke or not ahjfk ;;;;

and yes :’) the second to last one is true

and aAAA who’s ur kard bias !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ))

YAY i FINALLY managed to sell my little 20 liter tank!! Someone just texted me about it and arrived 30 mins later and the reason it was funny was cuz i made a buch of jokes and it was so obvious he wasn’t prepared. I don’t mean I did anything weird, I’m just very.. friendly and makes a lot of jokes, with anyone. I don’t even know his name. But he laughed and I carried all of the shit to his car cuz’ i’m buff and I had already given him a small bag with aquatic plants to carry. This is probably not entertaining to anyone but ME but this is ME BLOG and nothing exciting ever happens in my life anymore so i’ll just write about the small shit that makes my day ok