this bit is brilliant

you know what would have been great? if ron got sorted into slytherin.

imagine– we have this kid on the train, the first friend harry meets, with his corned beef sandwiches and smudged nose. ron is eleven years old and he wants gryffindor, because he’s a weasley and that’s what always happens. but it doesn’t happen.

what a way to redeem slytherin house– or, god, at least complicate it. because ron is petty. he is mean and sharp and ambitious and jealous– and he is loyal to the ends of the earth. he is all those things, and he is and always has been good.

potter becomes before weasley in the alphabet, so harry says not slytherin please and gets told might as well be gryffindor. percy and fred and george are all sitting there in red and gold, ruffling the already-ruffled hair of the boy who lived, smug, and then ron sits down and the hat spits out slytherin!

c'mon it’d be fun. just imagine–

  • the weasleys freaking out– but even that first christmas molly sends him a sweater in beautiful green and silver.

  • snape taking points from gryffindor when ron breaks rules or mouths off. “i’m in your house.” “hm, couldn’t tell which weasley it was…” /drifts away

  • sitting with harry in potions and in flying– whatever classes they happen to share. meeting up to study. scarfing down their breakfasts at separate tables so they can go hang out in the empty classrooms before the day starts. hermione reads while they play exploding snap.
    • the trio signing up for all the same electives third year. this friendship being something they earn and work for; not just the one that looked easiest. (not to bash canon ron&harry, the bros to end all bros, but by putting this very obvious obstacle between them– it makes it that much clearer to the reader that this is a love worth fighting for, because they’re fighting for it).
    • ron being jealous that harry and hermione get to share this house, this home, these hours, while he’s stuck with malfoy and parkinson and goyle– because that would eat him up some days, some months, this insecure kid who’s been the last at everything all his life. this kid who always leaves and always comes back.

  • ron, who constantly compares himself to his brothers– not as smart, not as popular, not as good. one more nail in that coffin, here, yeah? he’s not a prefect, not a quidditch star, not a troublemaker– and even when he becomes those things, someone else has always gotten there first
    • well, i guess he got to this house first at least

  • ron still snaps at snape in potions, after hermione’s been ignored three times, “you know, sir, i think hermione might know the answer.” he still pulls the bars off harry’s window with a stolen, flying car. he still shows harry around the burrow shyly, not knowing what a wonder a warm home is. he still stands up in the shrieking shack as best as he can with a broken leg and tells a mass murderer that if he wants harry he’ll have to go through him first. 
    • ron weasley is a lot of things, but one of them is absolutely a true friend.

  • in their second year:
    • when everyone calls harry the heir, they eye ron at his side and sniff.
    • when hermione lays petrified in the medical ward, ron sits at her side and reads her homework assignments aloud and thinks my house this was my house
    • when ron hugs ginny’s damp, shaking frame after the chamber, ron says sorry and sorry and are you okay and i’m so sorry and ginny calls him an idiot.

  • the trio spends more time in the library with hermione, since ron can’t come to gryffindor tower to study, and homework remains a thing that has to happen. fred and george constantly try to sneak him into the tower anyway. 
    • “c'mon, ronnykins, you belong here, you deserve it, no one’s gonna fuss, it’s your BIRTHRIGHT,” and ron fusses and rolls his eyes at them
    • and then in fourth year in one of those periods where he’s not talking to harry and harry’s not talking to him– he just snaps at the twins
      • because it’s not, alright?
      • not his birthright, not his house, and maybe no one would fuss if he snuck in, maybe no one would care, and that makes it worse not better, because then he’s just that weasley who should’ve been gryffindor
      • and isn’t
    • (and harry overhears this caterwauling, feels his heart fall to his toes, and goes and awkwardly asks ron if he wants to go a few laps on his firebolt). 
    • (because, god, harry-the-chosen-one, harry-in-the-cupboard-under-the-stairs, harry-who’ll-save-us-all– he knows what it’s like to have should have beens on your shoulders, and he knows what it’s like to not be wanted).

  • ron cheers for gryffindor during quidditch matches in those first few years, and sits with hagrid and hermione and neville. harry’s seeker, and fred and george are beaters, and ginny becomes chaser eventually, and honestly screw the slytherin team. they have each and every one of them said disparaging things about ron’s mother.
    • harry and hermione badger ron into trying out for keeper fourth year; he and harry have been practicing on the quidditch pitch because its a non-library-shaped place to hang out where both of them are allowed. ron makes the slytherin roster, and malfoy grudgingly provides ron a team broom after the captain chews him out for a bit.
      • “he may be a weasley, but he’s our keeper, don’t you want to win, draco”
    • but the sort of things they spit in the locker room, the words the players hiss or snigger, the slurs that come easy to their tongues– ron would like to say that he considered just walking out of the cesspit, but instead he snipes and sasses and shouts and sometimes tries to spell slugs at the worst of them. 
      • it doesn’t do much, that one irritated voice of protest– except that it does. and he’s got a new (hand-me-down) wand, after the gilderoy fiasco, so the slugs even come out the right end.
    • fred gives him a black eye with a bludger one time (though ron does manage to block the quaffle) and molly sends a howler to gryffindor table with the morning post. (“RON DID YOU TATTLE”) (“IT WAS CLEARLY PERCY, FRED, SIT DOWN”)
      • (the weasleys often have family conversations across the great hall, with hufflepuffs and ravenclaws covering their ears long-sufferingly between them)

  • in the lake, it’s still ron hanging there in the water, still and bloated. it’s still harry’s heart that stutters in his chest, for all it’s just a game, just a game, just a game, right?

  • ron listens hard and tries to talk himself out of fist fights, all that next year in the slytherin common room as they read aloud rita skeeter articles.

  • when hermione calls dumbledore’s army to its first session in that pub, there are green scarves in that crowd– ron and one of the beaters who ron’s gotten to help glare to rest of the slytherin quidditch team into submission.

  • ron beats draco to being prefect (i think i remember it was dumbledore and not mcgonagall who seemed to award prefect status– snape doesn ’t get a say).
    • percy is SO PROUD, as usual, but so are fred and george. “did you see the little malfoy git? green with shame, my god.”

  • when harry has the dream about sirius, ron isn’t there to wake. but when draco’s pulled out of bed to be a professional bully– er, i mean inquisitorial squad member– ron follows at a careful distance and curses draco from behind. 
    • they ride thestrals over london. harry finds the prophecy and ron thinks about the sorts of things that get decided at your birth.  
    • sirius black was a son of slytherin who had a lion living in his chest that he couldn’t hide away. 
    • ron was meant to be gryffindor, and through a haze of injury and fear he watches sirius die just out of harry’s reach.

  • just imagine: ron with his temper and his sharp words and his fierce loyalty. ron who looks into the mirror of erised and sees house cups and prefect badges and ambitions earned– he could belong in slytherin. there is nothing wrong with wanting things, and he wants them so bad.

  • there are so many reasons to fight a war, and so many ways. harry and his sacrifices, his loving resignation. hermione’s good right hook and bottomless bag of supplies. luna, brilliant and a bit batty. lee jordan’s radio and mcgonagall’s burning patience and brittle, certain bones.

  • just imagine: when the last battle comes, there is a slytherin on the field who is not snape.

  • when draco and his parents walk away, in that last battle, ron–
    • who slept in the same dormitory as the boy for six years
    • who heard draco’s nightmares and saw him paling and desperate all sixth year
    • who is as pureblooded as lucius’s spoiled whelp
    • who remembers grimacing at the thought of squibs
    • who has known magic all his life
    • who spotted draco penning letters home to his mother every sunday and hiding them when the other boys could see–
    • ron sees them going.
      • he sounds no alarms. he says no farewells.
      • he turns back to his friends, and his fight, and lets them be.

  • just imagine: when harry kneels on the train platform and his second son asks him “but what if i get sorted slytherin, dad?” harry can say, “the bravest man i ever knew was in slytherin house. whatever you are, wherever you go, we’re going to be so proud of you." 
    • and they can both gaze over to where ron is squawking beside his daughter’s trolley of luggage because crookshanks (who will live to be forty eight million years old) has latched onto his shins with a violent fondness.
Imagine Andrew as a teacher

(bear with me I gotta get this out of my head) 

-Okay so he doesn’t go continue to play exy 

-But becomes a criminology teacher at Palmetto (cos Nora said that was his major) 

-With glasses and all that shit. His students have a love/hate relation with him. To put it mildly, he’s a complete ass but I love him 

-also Professor Minyard

-And mostly after the first class itself the students realise this- You do not talk when he’s talking or giving a lecture unless you want a perfectly aimed chalk thrown at your head or a “Get the fuck out or shut the fuck up you choose Avery” shouted your way 

-And you do not dare to make fun of his height. He will fucking annihilate you. “You think I’m smol small Johnson, have you seen your dick?“ 

-And yes he remembers your name and grade that fucker with his eidetic memory 

-And his students are terrified of him but have a lot of respect for this teacher who doesn’t look like an exy fan but occasionally shows up in jerseys or sweatshirts with “Josten” written at the back 

-So. One day this student has some work and goes to Andrew’s tiny office Imagine his shock and awe when he sees Neil Josten, Olympic winner, exy champion in all his glory sitting on Andrew’s chair with his feet crossed on the table 

-“You’re not Andrew.”, Neil says. 

-“I had some questions for mid-” And Andrew enters. 

-He stops when he sees Neil “Feet off my table. Now.” the disrespect ffs Neil  And the student’s just like do?? you?? know?? who?? that?? is??

-And the student looks over at Neil who btw still has his feet on the table and the student thinks “Does he have a death wish?” Neil breaks the silence and says 

-“I thought I’d surprise you.”       

“Leave”, comes the reply 

-And for a moment they both only have eyes for each other, leaving the poor sophomore highly uncomfortable 

 -And then thankfully, before he/she becomes a murder witness, Neil takes his legs off the table and smiles. Neil Josten smiles. This was the man who ripped Riko Moriyama apart. Who fought tooth and nail to get to where he was. Who’s mouth has gotten him into trouble more times than he could count. He fucking smiles. 

-And Neil walks past Andrew, almost brushing his shoulder while leaving and Andrew grips his forearm

-And everything but the two of them melts away. Nothing else fucking matters as if it ever did in the first place 

-And for a second, a fucking fraction of a second, Andrew’s expression shifts 

-And the student is in shock cos obvs Andrew teaches like he does everything else. With stone cold apathy and a tiny bit of disgust but still fucking brilliant. 

-And then Andrew says, “I’ll see you at home.” And then the student notices the “Minyard” on Neil’s sweater (Renee gave it to Andrew as a birthday present when she learned to knit and Neil wears it all the damn time) and understanding seeps into place. Neil leaves after a bit more staring. 

-And Andrew looks at his student and quirks an eyebrow.  

-By the next day the whole school knows that their criminology teacher is dating Neil Josten. 

-After that my poor baby Andrew has to keep repeating in the first class of every freshman year “If you want to be killed in your sleep or want to fail this class, try asking for an autograph. Oh and get used to death threats, you are going to major in fucking criminology after all.

youtube

This is actually the full show with all the in between bits and everything.

And holy shit, Harry is fucking brilliant and what a ROCK BAND. Sarah killing it on the drums. Listen with your headphones!!!!

Cherry Bomb (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Request! 🙌🏽

A/N: This is dedicated to the marvelous @ballerinafairyprincess for requesting this super awesome idea a couple days ago! ❤ I had so much fun writing this!! I’m super jealous I didn’t come up with this! I hope you guys like it! ENJOY! -Delilah ❤❤

Request: Hi darling! Can I make a request please? Can you do a Bucky x Reader where they go for milkshakes and she shows him how she can tie the cherry stem into a knot in her mouth (something he has never seen before). And it goes from fluff to smut just like that? 😊

Warnings: Hella smut! Swearing. Semi public sex.

xxxxxxxx


Bucky always made a habit of telling you stories of the 40’s. Mostly about how different the times were, especially the architecture or the music. Surprisingly, one of the many things he missed from the era were the milkshakes. There was a little ice cream shop in Coney Island named Lucy’s that had the greatest tasting shakes in the world according to him. One of his favorite pass times was telling you story after story of the small shenanigans he and Steve used to pull in there.

There was the time he dared Steve to down an entire large shake called ‘The Big One’ which consisted of shake and cake mixed together. He was practically in tears when he told you that Steve only made it halfway before he raced to one of the trash cans and blew chunks. Steve never forgave him for that, by the way. He still winces and clutches his stomach whenever he’s reminded of it.

There was also a time where Bucky took a girl named Suzette on a date that ended horribly. Turns out, she was a little on the scary side. She flat out refused to let him order because the waitress was female. And she even went as far as making him switch seats because apparently “there were only girls in the booth behind him.” Poor Bucky was so afraid of the girl, he ended up excusing himself to the bathroom and climbing out of the window, only to find Suzette already waiting for him. It took him a week to get rid of her.

So being the big softie you were, you vowed to find a similar little spot to take him. Not only would it help him get some fresh air, but it would replace some of those traumatic memories with good ones.

That’s how you found yourself seated across from a grinning Bucky Barnes as he sipped happily on his raspberry milkshake.

Not only was Lucy’s still open after almost eighty years of business, but it was currently run by Lucy’s own daughter, Leslie, who was in her early 80’s now. When she saw Bucky, she nearly had a heart attack. She weaved her way through the many people in the little shop until she was standing at our booth.

“You used to come in here with that smaller fellow, right?” She asked, adjusting her cane. She was practically glowing with excitement. “I remember coming’ in here after school everyday and seein’ you two.”

You could see the words processing in his head. He was barely remembering things now, surely he wouldn’t be able to remember t
“I think I taught you how to tie your shoes, right?” He asked suddenly, his eyes sparkling with nostalgia.

Leslie gasped, placing her hand on her heart. She began singing some old nursery rhyme, one that you’ve never heard.

“Bunny ears, Bunny ears, playing by a tree.
Criss-crossed the tree, trying to catch me,”

Before she could finish, Bucky began singing as well.

“Bunny ears, Bunny ears, jumped into the hole,
Popped out the other side beautiful and bold!”

You both stared at him with wide eyes. Bucky however, grinned back at the two of you with triumph on his handsome face. He managed to remember something that wasn’t horrific or involved Steve. This was purely a personal memory he shared with her.

Leslie looked down at Bucky, her blue eyes watering.

“You two can have as many milkshakes as you want. For old time’s sake!” she exclaimed, wiping away the ones that fell.

Bucky and you thanked her. Even after she left, he couldn’t wipe the million dollar smile on his face. And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t get a bit teary eyed as well.

Yeah, this was a brilliant idea.

xxxxxxxxxx

The ride back home was a long one. Tony let you borrow his favorite black mustang which he usually used for taking Pepper out. You figured the car would give you some relationship points, considering Tony claimed he “always got lucky” in this thing. Taking a sip of your to-go shake, you got the second best idea of that evening.

“Hey Bucky,” you say, looking over at him. His eyes are fixed on the road, his hair blowing slightly from the open window. Man, how did you get so lucky?

Bucky hummed, looking back over at you. His lips curved upwards into a small smile. One that made your insides melt. You popped the lid off of your milkshake and tooked the small cherry out of it. “You wanna see something cool?”

The car slowly came to a halt at the red light. Oddly, only you were the only ones at the intersection. For this specific road, that was kind of rare. Bucky placed the car into park and turned his full attention to you.

You plucked the stem from the cherry and placed it in your mouth. Bucky’s eyebrows raised.

“Wow, doll,” he deadpanned. “That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my hundred years. Congrats.”

You swatted his arm playfully, earning a giggle from him. Gosh, he could be such a man child sometimes. You weren’t complaining, though. You loved that side of him. It rarely came out, but when it did, it was only with you.

You fiddled with the stem in your mouth, tugging it with your teeth until it formed a perfect knot. You didn’t notice it at first, but Bucky’s eyes never left your mouth. He subconsciously ran his tongue along his bottom lip, taking the pink flesh into his teeth. Your lips were his favorite part of your anatomy besides a few other hidden places as well. It turned him on that only he’d see those places.

Sticking your tongue out, you took the knotted stem from your mouth and held it up for him to see. But to your dismay, he didn’t even acknowledge it. Instead, he was staring elsewhere.


“I thought it was cool.” you frowned, tossing it out of the window.

Before you could turn back to him, you felt his hand grab onto your chin roughly and force you to look at him. Your eyes looked into his blue ones, which burned into yours. What had gotten into him. That’s when you made the mistake of licking your lips.

It was just a simple gesture of distress, nothing big or anything. But it caused Bucky’s erection to strain against his dark jeans. In one move, he crush his mouth onto yours. You groaned into the kiss, letting his tongue dominate yours with ease. You’d never say it outloud, but you were one submissive lady. And this newfound dominance was making you wetter by the second. That, mixed with the fact that you could still taste the raspberry milkshake on his tongue just added to the experience.

Reaching between the two of you, he undid both of your seat belts. His hand held you in place, forcing your mouth open a bit more into the kiss. Letting out a whimper, you obeyed him. But before it could get any better, he pulled away.

You pressed your thighs together, desperate for any kind of friction. By now, it had been at least five minutes. The light had turned yellow now, yet there still wasn’t anyone else remotely near from what you could see.

You ran your hand along his clothed thigh, dragging your nails against the material lightly. Bucky groaned, resting his head back against the headrest. Slowly, you reached for the zipper of his jeans. You pulled the zipper down, unbuttoning them as well.

Taking the hint, he lifted his hips up and you slid the material down his thighs. The sight of his fully erect cock resting against his stomach made your mouth water. You’d seen it plenty of times, but it still got you off knowing that only you could make him that hard.

Lifting yourself up, you crawled over the middle console of the car and swung one of your legs over Bucky’s lap. You placed your knees on either sides of the seat. His hands ran along the back of your thighs, traveling upwards. They slowed once they got to the waistband of your skirt. Before you could figure out a way out of the material, Bucky placed his hands on the waistband and ripped the material apart.

“Hey!” you whined. “That was my favorite skirt.”

Bucky pressed a kiss to your cheek, ignoring you. “I’ll buy you as many skirts as you want doll,” he pressed another kiss onto your neck, causing a gasp to escape from you. “But right now, I wanna see that pretty little pussy of yours stretched around my cock.”

You let out a moan. This was the first time hearing his dirty talk, but you weren’t complaining one bit. It was music to your ears. You slid a hand between the two of you and slid the material of your thong to the side. You pressed a kiss to his lips as you lowered yourself onto his cock.

You knew he was big, he’s a fucking super soldier, for Christ’s sake. But the way he stretched your walls, filling you up until you were resting all the way onto his hips, caused you to groan -not from pleasure, but pain. It wasn’t extreme, but enough to subside the pleasure.

“Блядь…” he sighed, his forehead falling into your chest. You gave an experimental roll of your hips. He inhaled sharply, pressing small kisses onto your chest. You repeated your actions, this time, giving a gentle bounce. Slowly, the pain began to subside and your body coursed with pleasure. You placed your hands behind you, on his thighs, and began bouncing on his cock.

“Shit…” you groaned, closing your eyes at the feeling of him entering and exiting your body.

Bucky ran one of his hands along the material of your blouse, feeling the warmth of your skin radiate from behind it. With a loud rip, the material came open. Your eyes shot open, peering down. The buttons from your blouse were gone, leaving you in just your black bra, one you wore for special occasions.

When he placed his hand on the material, you reached out and grabbed ahold of it. “This is my special bra!” you pouted. He gave you an amused smile, before ripping it off as well.

“BUCKY!” you shouted, turning an angry scarlet. But before you could scold him further, he placed his hands on your hips and began thrusting into you. You placed your hands on his shoulders as he pounded into you, his cock hitting inside you deeper and deeper.

“F-f-fuck!” your body jolted upwards from the force, making you stutter on your words. You placed a hand on the roof of the car to prevent hitting your head.

Your bodies moved in sync, rolling your hips into each other. Bucky’s mouth found itself onto your breast, sucking on it gently. You keened, pressing your chest further into his face.

Your other hand found its way into his hair, pulling on the long strands gently. He let out a growl, biting down gently on your flesh.

That’s when you heard it.

The sound of a car door opening and shutting loudly.

You could see the figure of the police officer walking towards your car, sending little red sirens off in your head.

“What? What’s wrong?” Bucky asked, moving his head to the side and peeking at the side mirror.

The both of you instantly scrambled apart, desperately trying to make yourselves presentable. Bucky practically tossed you into the passenger seat, trying to pull his jeans back up his thighs. Slipping back on your ruined blouse, you held the material closed with your hands. As for your skirt, you simply placed it back onto your lap.

“If we go to jail, I’m so gonna kick your ass, Barnes!” You hissed, trying to smooth out your I-just-had-sex hair. Jesus, it was so obvious.

“Relax doll,” he laughed, winking over at you as he buttoned his jeans.

“I hear prison sex is the best sex there is.“

-FIN. ❤

Waitering lessons with Azusa Part 2
逆巻カナト(CV.梶 裕貴) & 無神アズサ(CV.岸尾だいすけ)
Waitering lessons with Azusa Part 2

Another favourite scene of mine from the tokuten drama cd that I got with the Sofmap bonus of Lunatic Parade. Kanato and Azusa are working as waiters and this scene follows exactly after where the first “Waitering lessons with Azusa” post I made left off, with Azusa continuing to teach an irritated Kanato how to be a waiter. So here’s more of Kanato being 1000% done with everything. I hope you enjoy! ꉂ(′ ॢꇴ ॢ‵๑))

Please do not repost this translation anywhere.

Azusa: Next, you carry the cake you received from the kitchen… to the customer’s table but…. before carrying the cake… it’s good… if you add this.

Kanato: Hey… Azusa… What…. are you doing…?

Azusa: A good luck charm to make it delicious… I’m sprinkling… shichimi togarashi onto it.

Kanato: No, that’s strange, isn’t it? Fresh cream and shichimi togarashi definitely don’t go together, do they not?!

Azusa: Eh? I wonder? But… *munching noises* Mmm… It’s delicious!

Kanato: Hey! Don’t just help yourself to the store’s products! Even though I’m holding myself back!

Azusa: Ah…. I couldn’t resist. Sorry…. Um…. Kanato-san, do you also want to try?

Kanato: I don’t need it! Spicy cake is definitely not tasty.

Azusa: You think? What a waste….

Kanato: That aside, you’re going to teach me various things aren’t you? Could you hurry up and let me finish this?

Azusa: Right… Then, in practice, try carrying…. this cake… to the table.

Kanato: Huh? That’s half-eaten you know.

Azusa: It’s fine. Right now… it’s practice.

Kanato: Ah, is that so.

Azusa: Place this cake… onto the tray…. and then… we need to add the warm coffee. You use a coffee mill… to grind…. the beans. Kanato-san, have a try.

Kanato: No. Since it’s practice, isn’t it fine to just pretend we’ve actually done it?

Azusa: You can’t do that. This… is quite difficult so…. Come on, try it out. Hey, hurry.

Kanato: Tch, I get it. I’ll do it already! Happy now?!

Kanato: Something like this is clearly simple. All you have to do is turn the handle. 

Kanato: Hey…. why does it stop?

Azusa: The coffee beans… might’ve been stuck. You need to turn it… more thoroughly.

Kanato: Tch…. Could you not complain about my actions? Ughhh geez, all of this is such a pain! Please move. Move! Uwaahh!! A-arghhh….

Azusa: A-are you alright?

Kanato: Hey… My apron…. is covered in shichimi togarashi coated cream….

Azusa: Eh? But…. That… was because Kanato-san…. was turning the handle too forcibly…

Kanato: Shut up! Are you saying that I’m the one at fault? It’s because you had to leave such a task to me!

Azusa: Ka-Kanato-san, calm down.

Kanato: Shut up! Shut up! I will not hang around with you any longer! I’m going home!

Azusa: No, you can’t…! Wait…!

I wanted to make a post dedicated to this little moment. It’s a brilliant bit of acting on Liz’s part. Jemma’s been so strong and firm in her conviction while confronting the LMD!Fitz up until this point, even while he’s trying to sow doubt that she might not be real, and this is the first moment when she truly breaks. It’s unclear whether she’s asking the LMD not to hurt her - or for real Fitz not to kill her if she is the LMD. That awareness of her own deep desire not to die is potent, even if she could be a machine programmed by Radcliffe to do his bidding. Then again, there could also be a bit of her that’s asking for LMD!Fitz not to hurt her on an emotional level - if he is an LMD, she desperately doesn’t want to have to hurt him, because hurting Fitz (even a version of him that isn’t truly him) pains her as deeply as being hurt herself. It’s truly a tour de force acting moment.

... Why

So for a bit of context a friend of Mine got the brilliant idea for a 3.5 campaign with d20 modern sprinkled in where a war between heaven and hell spills over into the current day world. My character pre story was bisected at the waist before he ‘died’. Upon being resurrected by God, this interaction.

Me: NO MY JORDANS!

God:…

Me:…

God: you got bisected by a demon And revived as a floating torso. And that’s what you’re concerned about shoes.

Me:…

God:…

Me:… Yes.

A few minutes later.

God: you’re gonna need you legs back if you’re going to be fighting against the rising darkness (pauses to channel arcane energy).

Me: WAIT!

God: (pauses) if you’re having second thoughts-

Me: it’s not that. I was gonna ask if I can have 4 legs.

God:… 4 legs?

Me: yeah. And wings. Wings are cool.

And that’s how I became a half Dragon centaur

Illegal (Part 1)- Park Jimin Racer!AU

Originally posted by kpophott


Genre: Fluff/ Comedy/ Angst

Pairing: JiminxReader

Word count: 6.002k

Summary: During your staying in your grandmother’s house you meet Jimin and discover the night life that’s beyond the calm appearence of the town.


“Don’t worry about her, she is safe with me. Now go before you’re late!” Your grandma shouted from the front porch.

You could see your father face by his the reflexion on the car’s mirror. He tryed to look not affected, all tough and unbothered, but you knew best. The minute he would drive off and pass the town’s sign, he would burst into tear and start sobbing like there was no tomorrow.

It wasn’t just him who felt uneasy about this whole situation, you did too. Since your mother left you two alone, without any previous warning, that your dad had never went back to being how he was when she was still present. Now, he was always too focused on work, to the point where you would have to force him out of his office to eat or to just lay on a bed and close his eyes for a few seconds . But you didn’t judge him, though, you knew that that was the way he used to cope with the pain he felt.

It was your grandmother who convinced you to come and stay with her for a while, saying it would be for her since you two could spent more time together, and, at the same time, it would make your dad a bit more independent for when your classes at the university finally start. It sounded good to you, a nice way to clear your head from all the stress that you felt with your whole dad situation and exams, so you took her offer.

“He will be okay, he is stronger that you think he is, Y/N.” She said, caressing your arm and leading you inside, towards the kitchen.

Her house had a very nice aura to it, very cosy and bright, filled with all types of flowers everywhere. Since you grandmother loved gardening, having plants around her house and become a must.

“So, now that I get the chance to get you all to myself, how do you feel about us baking some cookies? The chocolate chips ones? Your favourite?” She asked and your stomach growled in response.

“Sounds good to me.” You laughed.

You turned on the television, to have some background noise, since it helped you to not overthink this whole situation and to not wonder way to far on your thoughts. Usually when you overthink things it would only got worse, for you that is.

Everything is going to be fine. It has to.

“Honey” Your grandma called from the kitchen, while holding up some tools and ingredients “I realized that we are missing the chocolate bits. Could you go to Mr.Crumberry’s shop and get me some of them? There are some coins on the table if you don’t have enough money.”

“Sure thing, it’s still the last shop on the left, right?” You asked, getting up from your spot on the couch and taking the coins with you. She hummed in response as you kissed her cheek and promised to come back quickly, closing the door behind you, carefully, to not make much noise.

Outside was a bit windy and not many people could be seen. The town wasn’t very big itself but, it had a lot of people around your age and a bit older too. You weren’t familiar with any of them, though, since you barely came here.

In general, you never had many friends due to the fact that you always were busy with university or taking care of your dad, by making sure that he was taking good care of himself, which left not much time to hang out with other people. The only person that you still found the time to be around was Taehyung, a guy who you had met a few years ago and apparently lived right down the street from you. You two had become friends in a strange manner, mainly because he never stopped bugging you, appearing always by your side during lunch time, making rather random visits in your house and bringing you the latest movies for the both of you to see them together. So, you decided, “if you can’t beat him, join him”.

From the minute that you introduced him to your dad, they became great friends as they both shared a passion of finding new animal species. Not the wisest decision you’ve ever made. Let’s just say that you came home one day to find a bunch of different hamsters on your couch.

You were so absorbed in your thoughts from your hometown that you didn’t even notice the small salience on the side walk, which caused you to trip. You closed your eyes, prepared to collide to the ground, but meting a softer surface instead. Someone’s chest.

“Hey there, careful” A raspy voice said. The person had his hands around your arms, securing you against him. He smelled like mint and cigarettes, and a small pinch of cinnamon.

“I’m so sorry.” You apologized, stepping back. You started to blush when you realized he still had his hands around you, and even with the small space between you two, you could still feel your heart pounding against your chest. “Are you okay?”

“I should be the one asking you that.” He said, laughing. The first thing you noticed about him was his orange hair. It was an unusual thing to see, very strange, yet he still managed to be one of the most handsome guys you have ever seen. You met his eyes, only to notice that he was already looking at you, giving you one of those smiles that were so bright that made the sun’s light look like absolutely nothing when compared to it.

“I’m Jimin, by the way. Park Jimin.” He added, noticing that you hadn’t responded.

“I’m Y/N.” You shook your head and smiled, trying to distract yourself to not stare at him.

“Well, Y/N, you are not from around here, are you?” He asked, cocking his head to the side, examining your features.

“No, actually I’m not. I’m staying here for some time, at my grandma’s. And I know that I said it before but I’m really sorry that I bumped into you. I had to go to Mr.Crumberry’s shop to find some chocolate bits for my grandma but I got distracted and- ” You rambled. He tucked the hair behind your ear and you stepped back, surprised, only to stumble on that same piece of the sidewalk. Great. Just great. There was no way you were ever going to get out of the house with these pair of shoes again.

“Seeing that you are always falling, do you need company to make sure you get to your grandma’s house intact? I would hate myself if you fell again and I wasn’t there to catch you” He said, winking at you.

“Are you trying to seduce me? Because that isn’t working”

“Are you sure? Because I swear that when I do this” He took a step closer to you and lowered himself, whispering into your ear “I can hear your heart starting to race.”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t deny the fact that what he was saying was true. You just had this feeling that he was one of these cocky people and that only admitting that to him would only make his ego grow bigger.

He laughed at your reaction and brushed his hand through his orange hair. You looked at the watch that you had on your wrist and realized that it had passed more time that it seemed, and that your grandma may get anxious if you don’t get home quickly. After all, the shop wasn’t far away from her house.

You started walking towards the store and noticed that he was still right beside you.

“So, Y/N, tell me about yourself.” He said after a while of you two walking side by side.

“What about me?” You asked.

“I want to get to know you.” He said after taking a deep breath. That question made you nervous, mainly because no one ever asked you that, because no one ever cared that much.

“You do? I’m warning you I am a pretty boring person with a very boring life. There is nothing interesting about me.” You say as the both of you get inside the store. You greet the old bald man that is on the other side of the counter while Jimin just waves at him and sends him a small smile.

The store isn’t very big, so you won’t take long to find what you want. The last time you had been here was years ago, and knowing that everything was still on the same place comforted you.

“I don’t believe that. Let’s see, for example… What’s your favourite colour?” He asked adjusting one of his many rings that he had on his hand.

“I don’t have one.” You answered, shrugging.

“What? What do you mean you don’t have a favourite colour? Everybody has got a favourite colour. That’s like the basic requirement for being a human being.”

“Basic requirement?” You laughed, picking up a package of chocolate bits from one of the shelves. “It’s just a colour”

“Just a colour? Whoa. You just hurt me, I hope you know that.” He faked a hurt look and stepped back dramatically while you walked to the counter. You handed your grandma’s coins to the man and said goodbye, politely. Through the window you could see that the sun was starting to go down, a very pretty view actually, but you don’t have the time to enjoy it as you have to get home as quickly as possible.

The cold air hits your face when you get out of the store and you shiver, closing your jacket a bit more. Jimin, however didn’t seem very bothered by the cold, as he continued to walk normally and talking to you, gesticulating theatrically over the fact that you didn’t have a favourite colour.

“I still can’t believe you don’t have one.” He said, shaking his head in disappointment. He seemed to think hard for a bit and then snapped his fingers like he just had the most brilliant idea ever  "You know what? You just gave me a mission.“

“I, what?” You stopped walking, giving him a confused look.

“You just gave me a mission. From now until the day you leave, I have the mission to make you have a favourite colour.” He said. Jimin sounded determined and you got the feeling that he was one of those people that always got what they wanted, so you didn’t object.

You may not admit it to anyone, and not even yourself, but you liked talking to him and you looked to know that he cared about you, even if it all was because of a stupid colour. He was very carefree and completely different from the people that you had met so far in your life, like a breeze of fresh air.

You two continued to talk during the rest of the way to your grandmother’s house. He would, occasionally, try a pick of line on you but you would always dodge him of, which resulted in him laughing at your reactions. You would, however, blush at his words every now and then, and he must have noticed that because he started joking with you.

“Ha, Y/N, are you blushing?” He said, pinching your cheeks with his fingers.

“What? No, I’m not” You lied, moving faster away from him. “It’s hot, that’s all. Are you really following me all the way home?”

“Of course. You know, my mother always told me to follow my dreams” You rolled your eyes at his corniness.

There could be seen a few people walking around the town and some others sitting on their balcony talking to one another. They seemed so close with each other, the complete opposite to your life in the city, where they wouldn’t even stop to great you.

When you saw the house a few meters away from where you were you couldn’t help but to feel a bit sad that this was all over so quickly. You stopped in front of the gate and pointed at the house.

“This is it.” You said.

Even though the town is small you couldn’t help but to be afraid that you may never see him again. You didn’t quite knew why you felt that why, you just did.

Wow.

How did you get so attached to him in just a few minutes?

“I know your grandma!” He suddenly realised “She is a really cool lady. I remember she gave me some of her cookies. Wait… That was for what the chocolate bit were needed?” He asked, his eyes glinting. You nodded in response, laughing.

He sure has heck seemed to really enjoy those cookies.

There was a bit of a silence for a while, while you two standed in front of the gate. He kept fiddling his fingers, like a nervous habit it seemed, while you played with the package that was in between your hands.

“Well, looks like I have to go. It was nice seeing you, Jimin” You said goodbye to him, walking up the little garden that your grandmother had in front of her house.

“Hey” He shouted, like he had just remembered something “Tonight I’m doing something and I really wanted you to come and see. And maybe… you could bring some of those cookies with you?”

“So, basically you just want me to take you the cookies?” You laughed.

“How did you know? I’m I that obvious?” He joked. “But no, I really want you to go. Do you know where the bridge is?” You nodded. “Well, meet me there around ten thirty. You will have a lot of fun, I promise.”

“Okay, I will see if I can go.” You waved at him from the front porch as he walked way, backwards while smiling at you.

“Ten thirty, don’t forget!” He yelled. You stayed there, still, watching him walking away.

You cleaned your feet on the red carpet and open the door, only to find your grandma sitting on the couch watching “The Price Is Right” and swearing at the people on the television.

“How can they not know that it costs 9.75? Are you dumb? Boy, when I go to church I will pray for you” She mumbled to herself.

The moment she noticed you standing behind her, holding the package in between your hands, she turned the television off and run to you, hugging and pacing you back and forth.

“God, you are finally here. I was so worried, what took you so long?” She questioned you, worried.

“Nothing I just found someone on the way and lost track of time. Now that I’m here, how about we do those cookies you were talking about? I’m so hungry” You said, and your stomach growled.

“Someone, huh?” She winked, picking up the package of the chocolate bits that I had brought from the kitchen counter. “Who is the lucky man?”

“Grandma… It’s nothing like that. We are just friends, if you could even call it that. I just met him today.” You picked up the tray and greased it with butter so that the cookies wouldn’t stick.

“If you say so… But who is he?” She asked, excitement evident in her voice.

“Park Jimin.”

“Oh, Jimin!” She said. Her reaction was the same of when someone mentioned Elvis Presley or Bob Dylan, he must be very important to her. “He is a very unique guy, isn’t he?”

“Indeed. He was very surprised that I didn’t have a favourite colour. He said he it was his mission to make me have one or something.” You laughed. He sure as heck was different “How do you know him?”

“Hum… Your grandfather and him where very close. When he… passed away…” She stopped and you continued to knead the dough. Talking about your grandfather was a very touchy subject for her, and if Jimin was as close to him as she said he was, he definatly was someone special. “He visited me every two days to check on how I was doing and of course, to ask me if whenever I would bake again I could give him some of my pastries. But, why did you ask me about him?”

“He… he invited me to meet him by the bridge tonight, he said he wanted to show me something. And I wanted to know if he was trustworthy or not. And since you said you knew him…” You rambled. You opened the first cabined and took out the stars shaped object to cut the dough.

You felt a bit uneasy when talking about this to her, since you came here to spend some time with her and not other people. And much less to have a romantic interest.

If Taehyung was here right now, he would make fun of you. Who would say that the same girl that refused to accept to have a friend was now thinking about romantic interests with someone?

“You have a date?” She asked, happily.

“It’s not a date.”

“Yes, yes it is. My granddaughter has a date! You are growing up so fast” She sobbed into your shoulder.

“Grandma, I’m in college already. I’m not a kid anymore.” You laughed.

“I know, I know. There is no need in reminding me of that. Now go take a shower! By the time you are done the dinner must be ready. Now, go! Don’t you have somewhere to be?” She shushed you out of the kitchen with her oven glove.

“Alright, alright.” You responded. You climbed up the stairs and went to the bathroom to turn the hot water on. Getting rid of your clothes you hop in and close the curtain.

You take your time washing your hair and body, thinking about if you should actually go and meet Jimin by the bridge. You wanted to, that was true, but you still had your doubts. However, those had nothing to do with him, you were just afraid of getting too attached, since the last time you did so your mother had left.

Your grandma was right, you though while you took the shampoo out of your hair,  he sure was unique. You mean, who the heck would make a mission to make someone choose a favourite colour? But you liked that about him, it made him stand out, it made him different from the others.

You turned the water shower off and wrapped one towel around your body and another one around your hair. You stepped carefully out of the shower, to the carpet and took out one comb from one of the low cabins and brushed your hair, wrapping the towel more closely to your body in fear of it falling off while you stretched your arms.

Getting to your bedroom, you change your clothes and blow dry your hair. You see you phone standing on your bed and click on it, seeing that you have three missed calls from your dad. Not a good sign.

“Dad? Is everything alright?” You say into the phone’s speaker. “Dad?”

“Y/N, sweetheart how are you?”

“Fine, how about you? Did you have dinner already? Do I need to call Taehyung to bring you some food?” You said, concerned.

“Jesus, I’m fine. I had some leftovers that were laying around in the fridge, don’t worry. Is everything okay with you? I called you three times and you didn’t pick up any of them.” You could hear some papers falling on the ground on the other side of the line, indicating that he was in his office, working. Gosh, did that man ever stopped working?

“I was showering.” You take your phone away from your ear and notice that there is already nine thirty p.m.. Your grandma must have the dinner ready by now. “Hey, I got to go now, I’m going to eat now. Take care of yourself, okay? If anything call Taehyung, you have his number and he lives nearby.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t worry about me, go and have your dinner. I will call you tomorrow, bye” He ended the call and you left the bedroom, closing the door behind you.

You stepped down the stairs, with the dirty clothes from before on your hands, to find a delicious smell on the air: you had almost forgotten of how good your grandmother’s cooking was.

“There you are!” She said, picking the clothes off your hands and throwing them at the laundry basket that was laying around on her kitchen “Come and sit, you have somewhere to be in an hour, don’t you?” You were already feeling sorry about telling her about it.

She mentions for you to seat in front of her, as she bring the mashed potatoes to the table. She tries to ask you more questions about Jimin when you start eating, and make some suggestions about him and you, which you try to dodge every time. You tell her that you father called and she could feel the worry in your voice, about him being so far away all by himself.

“Don’t worry, he is going to be alright. It may not seem like it but he had become stronger since… you know.” She said.

“Yeah, I’m just scared for him, that he might do something crazy and I’m not there to take care of him.”

“You are a good person Y/N, your father is really proud of you. And so am I.” She smiled. You continued to eat in silence after that touchy subject. You hated to talk about your mother or even think about her.

She had run away with some painter when you were twelve and your father had never fully recovered from that. The worst part wasn’t that he had left without a warning, it was the fact that she didn’t even bother to call you, to check up on you. You were her daughter after all.

As you took one last glass of water the clock strikes ten p.m. and you grow more anxious. Your palms start to get a bit sweaty and you pinkie finger starts to move nervously.

You help your grandmother with the dishes, a job that she was very much unhappy for you to be doing, especially at a time like this, but you needed to stop thinking about it and doing other things was what helped you more. She put some music from her old radio on the background and the two of you danced while cleaning up the table.

This was one of the things that you liked the most about her, the fact that she could transform one of the most simple tasks in the funniest thing ever. You sang and moved all around while putting the glasses back on the cabinet.

“Crap.” You whispered. It was already ten twenty five and there was no way that you were going to be there in time. You had been so distracted by all the dancing and singing, that you forgot to check the clock.

You ran up and down the stairs, putting your shoes on and adjusting the clothes that you were wearing in hopes of trying to look a bit more decent.

“Take some cookies to give to Jimin” Your grandmother said, calmly, while you walked frantically from one side to the other. She opened the door for you and extended you her hand that had a little blue box filled in them filled with the chocolate chips cookies.

“Don’t worry I could never forget the cookies.” You screamed as you run down the road.

You moved your feet as fast as you could, and secured the blue box on your hand, with the fear of letting it fall. The wind was blowing the air out of your face and you could feel your legs starting to become sore. Your brain was screaming for you to stop but your legs just kept going and going and going.

It took you some time to see the bridge since it was being blinded by the huge amount of lights that were around it. It wasn’t normal for that to happen, or at least that was not how you remembered it.

You walked to the parking lot that was by the bridge and you came across tons of people around multiple cars that were parked in the parking lot. They were talking cheerfully, some with bottles of booze in their hands that they passed among them and some others smoking cigarettes. They were standing all around the cars and by the theme of their conversation that you could grasp they were talking about… races?

You turned your head from side to side, looking for Jimin but you, unluckily, didn’t find him. You even asked some girls that were standing together near the yellow car if they had seen him around here or something but they had said that he hadn’t arrived yet. Some of them acted strangely when you mentioned his name but you brushed it off, maybe they had just reacted that way because you were new here, or even because of the way you were dressed.

Unlike them you weren’t wearing shorts or jean, but a very pretty floral dress. Which wasn’t your best decision, because if it would start to get windy you would have to give a Marilyn Monroe vibe.

You walked away from the crowd of people and standed alone against one of the lamps that illuminated the parking lot where you were, hoping that Jimin would eventually show up.

“Y/N!” You heard a voice saying your name and a pair of arms being wrapped around your waist. You jump slightly and you hear him chuckle in your ear.

“You scared me” You say, stepping away from him and putting a hand on your chest. Your heart was pounding against your ribcage and you didn’t know if it was because he had scared you or because of the way he had wrapped his arms around you.

Behind him were three guys that were laughing at both of your reactions. One of them had green hair, the middle one was blonde and the last one had brown hair. Their features were soft and they seemed to be nice people, or at least that was what you were expecting them to be.

They standed a bit far off from you and Jimin and you could help but to think if he had told them anything about you.

“I was afraid that you had changed you mind and decided not to come.” He said, wrapping one arm around your shoulders. You were walking in the cars direction and you felt a huge will of asking him about why he had brought you here and especially, what was all of this, but you didn’t. You had this feeling that he wasn’t going to tell you anyway, like he would say something along the lines of “just wait, you will see”.

“And you felt sad?” You joked.

“Of course. If you didn’t come that meant that I couldn’t have these amazing cookies that you grandmother baked” He said while taking the little blue box out of your hands.

You suddenly thought about what she had said, that all of this was supposed to be a date. A part of you wanted this to be one but the other one didn’t, it was all a lot of mixed feelings and you were afraid that the part that did, would win. You just weren’t ready to get hurt again.

“Why am I not surprised” You laughed. He pulled you even more closed to him, with one hand still wrapped around your shoulders, while the other took out a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and put one of them on his mouth.

“Smoking is bad for you, you know?” You said, looking right into his eyes.

“Yeah, a lot of people have been telling me that.” He said.

“And why do you keep doing it?” You asked.

“Because it’s an addiction. Or maybe because the right person hasn’t asked me yet” You blushed at his words. You couldn’t help but to think if this was about you.

“Could you just not smoke this one?”

“Why not?” He furred his eyebrows.

“Because each cigarette takes away eleven minutes of your life.” You answered . However, the next thing that you said completely surprised you. And him too, by the look on his face. “And that are eleven minutes less that I can spend you”.

He stared at you for a long time, with an unreadable face, when the corners of his mouth started to go up and he was smiling. He smiled a lot when he was around you and you liked that.

He took the cigarette out of his mouth and threw it on the ground, stepping on it.

“If you put that in that way, I guess that it’s better if I get rid of the whole package then”. That made you smile, a really widening smile, that ones that you almost never gave to people. Your grandmother was right, he surely was someone special.

“My grandma said that you were very close with my grandfather” You said after a while.

“Yes I was. Your grandfather was a man that knew a lot of things. In fact, before he… hum… passed away, he taught me some of them” He was talking at the same at that he was observing the people that were chatting to their friends. He was watching them  so closely, that it almost looked like he was studying them. His orange hair was pushed back showing off his forehead and he was wearing sunglasses that were laying around his neck, backwards, even though it was night time and the sun had already gone down. His black leather jacket tighten around his back and arms when he crossed them, making his muscles stand out even more. And now, under the dim light that was upon us he was even more exquisite.

“What type of things?” You asked, curiosity taking the best of you.

“Well, you want to see them?” He said, cocking his head to the side. You nodded in response. and He then started to walk away from you and towards one of those cars, the black one.

“Namjoon!” He screamed, loudly, in the middle of the crowd. “Remember that bet we made? How about we do that now?” The people that were scattered around the parking lot started to gather around Jimin, and a tall guy with brown hair appeared in the middle of it, stepping in front of him.

You standed back, watching the whole scene, not knowing what was going to happen next. However your feet started to move involuntary into the middle of the crowd as well, where one of his friends, the green haired one, joined you by your side.

Namjoon and Jimin both got inside their cars and positioned then at the same level and distance to make sure none of them had an advantage on the other. A girl walked into the middle of the road, and then stopped in between the two cars, with a white flag between her hands that were stretched above her head. Jimin and Namjoon adjusted the mirrors and turned on the engines whose sounds were started to grow louder and louder.

Inside the car Jimin relaxed himself into the seat and his eyes started to search for you in the crowd. When they met yours he winked at you and then focused back on the road, making your heart skip a beat.

“Be careful” You whispered, even though you knew that he couldn’t hear you. You didn’t even know who you were saying that to, him or youself.

“I don’t know what is so different about you” The green haired guy said over the loud cheers that the crowd was giving and the tickling of the bottles against each other’s. “He talks about you a lot, which isn’t normal for him. He normally doesn’t care about girls. At least not anymore. But you… I can’t quite put a finger on it”

“What? How do you mean that I’m different?” You asked.

“You made him throw away a package of cigarettes. We, who have been friends with him for years now, have tried to make him throw away one cigarette. One. And we never got to do that. In twelve fucking years.” He said. He had a cold expression, and his tone was a bit harsh, but you could tell that it was only because he seemed to care a lot for him.

As you were about to respond the girl threw the white flag down to the ground and they started to drive off as fast as they could. The crowd screamed louder and louder as they distance themselves even more far away from you.

It was calm for a few minutes, with none of the cars in sight, nor the lights. But it didn’t took long as they both appeared riding the cars into your direction, or even better, the headlights did.

They kept driving faster and faster towards the winning post, side to side, making it impossible of knowing who was going to win. However, on the last second Jimin was able to speed up even more and passed Namjoon’s car, getting to the goal first.

Jimin’s friends went crazy, shouting and dancing everywhere, while Namjoon’s backed away, ashamed of losing the bet.

You found yourself clapping, happily too, and cheering him on.

“I swear that there was something wrong with the engine” You heard Namjoon saying as he got out of the car.

“Don’t lie, man. We both know that it was completely fine. Just accept that I won.” Jimin said, rolling his eyes and brushing the hair off his forehead. “Oh, and don’t forget, cold water and no soap” He added, grinning, while he threw Namjoon his car keys.

“Y/N!” You heard him shout from the middle of the crowd.

“Here!” You said, swaying your arms around, in hopes for him to see you.

He came running to you, dodging some people that were congratulating him along the way and greeting another ones.

When he finally got next to you, he wrapped you in between his arms and lifted you off the ground as you smiled into the crock of his neck.

“So, what did you thought about it?” He asked, excited. His eyes were glinting and you could hear his heart beating fast from the adrenaline that he had felt.

“You were amazing, I’m -”

“Jimin?” You got interrupted by a soft, a feminine voice that belonged to a blond girl that was wearing a rather tight dark blue dress “You did a very good job in there. Got to say that you have evolved a lot.”

“Thank you, I like to think so too” He responded.

However, what she did next was completely unpredictable. She moved in between you and him and kissed his cheek. And you just stayed there, as you felt a pain in your chest.

What. The. Heck.

About Gillian Anderson: “An astonishing actor. We forget how good she is because she plays characters who are a bit like her. And somebody that good — somebody that brilliant — it’s so amazing. Watching her channel Lucile Ball, David Bowie, Marilyn Monroe, or Judy Garland is just astounding. I think people will see sides to Gillian that they had never imagined.” Neil Gaiman (X)

On playing LGBT characters
  • Interviewer: tell us a bit about your character.
  • Actress: oh I play a brilliant lesbian surgeon who is just getting into a new relationship with a beautiful and strong woman.
  • Interviewer: ohhhhh, I'm so sorry for you.
  • Actress: pardon me?
  • Interviewer: I didn't realize you were going to die on the show
  • Actress: I didn't say that.
  • Interviewer: yeh, yeh you did.
  • Actress: No. I said I was playing a lesbian character
  • Interviewer: ...
  • Actress: .... oh
All the Sense in the World

Title: All the Sense in the World
Author: @l0vegl0wsinthedark
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 10,800
Summary: He had absolutely no idea what was about to happen. Maybe Malfoy would kick him in the face. Maybe he’d scream loud enough that the whole school would rush in and see him lying there between Malfoy’s legs with his cock rock hard. Maybe he’d hex Harry’s rock hard cock off. Hell, maybe Harry’d wake in his own bed in a few minutes with a rock hard cock and would never again be able to look at Malfoy without sprouting an instant hard-on. // Or maybe he and Malfoy would have sex.


This fic, oh my god, it’s crazy and it’s awesome! It starts with Harry being in the hospital wing because a Bludger hit him during a Quidditch game. Then he wakes up in the middle of the night and now the bed next to his is occupied, and the person in there is moaning and groaning. And he’s thirsty. I mean, just, literally thirsty not—you get the idea. So he pours himself a glass of water and peeks onto the other bed and, yep, it’s Draco having a wet dream, only Harry realises this he sort of drops his glass of water. Onto Draco. Then one thing leads to the other and ^ *points at summary* Things get really good! \o/

It’s every bit as crazy as it sounds. Brilliant! 

NurseyWeek Prompt #2 - Surprise


Bitty almost jumps out of his skin when the Haus’ front door bangs open, the loud slam of wood against wall echoing through the hallway and reaching Bitty where he had been sitting placidly at the kitchen table. He relaxes when he recognizes Nursey in the archway of the room, but something about the way he’s standing makes Bitty double take.

It looks like someone took Nursey and gave him a good shake, sloughing off all that hipster cool that he so carefully cultivates for his everyday persona. Nursey’s lost the regular slouch in his shoulders, the serene look on his face; now, he’s swaying slightly, legs and arms tucked tight into his body. It’s like he’s unconsciously trying to take up as small a space as he can, which, being a 6’2” college athlete, isn’t all that small. His curls are slightly mussed, and he has lines of exhaustion written across his face.

“Bits,” he says, a note of solemnity in his quiet voice, “I need your help.”

Keep reading

Sherlock characters Hogwarts houses (Opinion list)

Always that disclaimer of “disagree If you must, just don’t think I care enough to argue about it”. Enjoy.

Slytherin…

Sherlock: I’ve gone over this many times but I guess I’ll go over it once again. A lot of people assume that he is a Ravenclaw because he’s smart. False. Sherlock Holmes is a textbook Slytherin. Yes he’s smart, but he’s smart about what HE likes to know. In the books for example he doesn’t care to even know that earth revolves around the sun & he even goes as far to say that he doesn’t care to even remember the fact. A Ravenclaw would NOT act like that. Sherlock is just a snarky, sarcastic, SOB who has very singleminded goals and aspirations. He isn’t a bookworm if the book doesn’t pertain to what he’s doing at the moment.

Mycroft Holmes: He’s fantastic for a sarcastic one liner. He’s like Sherlock but he’s even more of an asshole in my opinion. He and Sherlock constantly try to one up each other, but they don’t have similar goals necessarily so it never gets too rough. Totally a Slytherin.

Mary Watson: Two words… DECEIVED EVERYONE. She’s fantastic. Also very resourceful and has straightforward goals / aspirations.

Gryffindor…

John Watson: He’s brave, daring & it takes a bit of recklessness to follow after Sherlock. Absolutely brilliant friend. I just feel like Gryffindors would do the John thing and just make faces if they disagreed 😂

Greg Lestrade: Also a very obvious Gryffindor. Courageous and daring. He’s very friendly and seems like he would be popular with other humans.

Hufflepuff…

Mrs. Hudson: She’s just a cute little puff. Ya gotta love Mrs. Hudson. Fave. PLUS she just kind of loves Sherlock & that’s just a cute little like family Slytherin/hufflepuff thing ya feel ❤️

Mixed houses…

Molly Hooper: This is only based on the show BECAUSE THERE IS NO MOLLY HOOPER IN THE FREAKING BOOKS. Anyways… she’s like a mix between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. She’s absolutely brilliant at what she does so I’ll credit that to Ravenclaw. She’s got hufflepuff traits too though like she’s loyal (even when Sherlock is awful to her lol), she’s a hard worker, she’s V PATIENT (with Sherlock again lol). Like idk she’s both in my mind. She doesn’t fit in just one house.

Jim Moriarty: This is gonna be an unpopular opinion to many because he’s the bad guy… but I wouldn’t say he’s 100% Slytherin. Like yes his goal is to beat Sherlock, but he’s kinda brilliant and he’s got the cocky thing from Gryffindor. So like he’s a Gryffindor/Slytherin/Ravenclaw. He’s so calculated and ingenious, but again he’s a cocky bastard & he’s very straightforward with his goals aka he has one goal in a sense.

Squibs…

Anderson and Sally: I loath them. They don’t deserve to go to Hogwarts.

My Beauty & The Beast Review (spoilers!)

I know there’s been hundreds of these done before, but I just wanted to share my opinion on the highlights and lowlights of the new 2017 live action film (WHICH I ABSOLUTELY LOVED AND WILL BE SEEING A SECOND TIME), upon looking at all the comments and criticisms I’ve seen either through youtube videos, critics, and scrolling through tumblr. 

Cons/scenes that confused me:

- The opening number was not as magical as it could have been. I can’t describe exactly what–it just wasn’t as impactful as a number as the original
- The library scene was not as much as a big reveal. It felt so casual and rushed into–but I really liked how it was such a surprise in the original version
- I feel like Emma Watson could have put more emotion into her singing. I mean of course she can’t top Paige O’Hara but still, I feel like sometimes her soul wasn’t as into it (probably tho because she’s not a musical actress)
- Why the townspeople ganged up on Belle to ruin her laundry–is teaching a girl to read considered that big of a sin??? seems like a bit of a stretch
- I really wanted the proposal scene to happen where Gaston gets rejected, maybe not entirely the same, but just simply something that would outrage Belle more than the conversation she had in this version
- “Gaston, you are positively primeval” was not included
- “No one says no to Gaston!” was not included
- “Every last inch of me’s covered in hair” was not included
- The way Emma Thompson sang BATB wasn’t as great as it should’ve been. A lot of times she sang it slower than the actual tempo to the point where I felt like she had to catch up on the song and it sounded off. I appreciate her trying to sound different from the original but it was getting a bit excessive
- No one questioning why Belle was wearing a ballgown upon being missing for days and being held captive by a beast
- Why Belle called Gaston a monster??? I mean, we as an audience know why, but Belle had no previous knowledge of the monstrous things Gaston had done and the only thing he’d done to her is act like a bigot and vain
- Was I the only one who thought Beast didn’t look hot?? i mean, i liked the gentle vibe he kinda had in the original, but in this version, he’s too much of a hybrid amongst human and beast which kinda creeped me out at times
- Mrs. Potts’ & Chip’s animation was a bit odd to me–despite the Prince wanting the most extravagant of items–their design wasn’t that beautiful or appealing to me
- Belle keeping the rattle that her mom kissed when she had the plague is dangerous, isn’t it?
- The castle crumbling when the last few petals fell from the rose made no sense–like it’s not like the castle totally fell apart when the last petal fell
- Though the transformation scene was wonderful, I had wished Adam or Belle had said something to make the silence less awkward and make the moment more romantic
- The ending scene was nice with the finale song, but I feel like they should’ve done something that tied up the film, I was looking forward to a finale kiss between Belle and Prince Adam but they just danced and it just kinda ended??? there was no impact there

Pros:

- The close-up shots of Belle when she sings her solo part in ‘Belle’ was done beautifully
- Belle’s reprise and the infamous ‘Sound of Music’ scene was some great cinematography 
- The deeper father-daughter dynamic between Belle and Maurice. They added a lot more depth to this character (kevin kline made him funnier and more endearing :”) )
- Belle’s voice sounding more normal throughout the film compared to the autotuned versions released in trailers & online (i was really going in with low expectations of her singing due to what was previously shown but it sounded fine in the movie???)
- Belle’s “Ugh!!!” after the thought of being Gaston’s wife
- Belle’s costume changes; giving her boots vs. flats, hitching up the side of her skirt so she could run more freely and ride horses, adding pockets to store her books, etc.
- ALL THE PLOT HOLE FIX-UPS (every time they explained something new i was like OHHH THAT MAKES SENSE NOW)
- Having more scenes showing the Beast’s character as well as seeing more of the chemistry with him and Belle
- All the new original songs blew me away. Once again, Alan Menken is a true legend.
- Evermore was so essential and I’m so glad they decided to give Beast a solo song (i always wanted to hear one from him, and it gave me Phantom vibes which was BONUS)
- Character development with LeFou
- All of LeFou’s lines (i cracked up every single time)
- Golden cast. 
- Dan Stevens and his facial expressions, acting through his eyes, how he poured his heart and soul in evermore.
- Luke Evans was literally Gaston brought to life. The voice, the looks, the charm. I also liked how he was a bit darker in this version.
- Josh Gad brilliant once again, I lost it at “It’s never gonna happen ladies”

- Ewan McGregor gave a refreshing retake on Lumiere and his singing was great!
- “The East Wing, or as I like to call it, the ONLY wing” 
- Maurice admiring Lumiere and Cogsworth as the two argued who he was referring to once he left
- DIVERSE CAST
- Interracial couples.
- The song ‘Gaston’ blew me away. It was better than the original.
- Visually stunning scenes throughout.
- Beast saying they should run away together (my heart melted when he said that)
- BE OUR GUEST GAVE ME GOOSEBUMPS. DID NOT DISAPPOINT. (i was really nervous about them messing it up but it gave me the thrills just as the original)
- How this movie really tugged on my heartstrings and I cried 6 times throughout the whole 2 hours.
- Belle singing ‘How Does a Moment Last Forever’ was beautiful
- “Too touristy?” - Beast
- Beast trying to protect his masculinity when he was caught reading a romance
- All the passionate stares between Belle and Beast throughout the film
- EVERMORE.
- The ballroom scene was breathtaking. The ballroom set itself was–dhlsdkfhdsk
- Beast/Prince Adam’s mother being his sun (insert sobbing)
- The mob song was also done better than the original. (OMG BUT LEFOU’S LINE THO–)
- The way the beast screamed “BELLE!” was heart-wrenching
- The transformation scene was powerful, Dan Stevens was beautiful. That kiss tho–right in the feels.
- “Turn back into a clock. Back into a clock.”
- The Finale ver of Beauty and the Beast was lovely, the new lyrics added in were just the perfect finishing touch as well
- BELLE’S WHITE DRESS WAS STUNNING.
- “How would you feel about growing a beard?” *GROWLS* (me: dies)
- LEFOU FINDING HIS SOULMATE + FIRST DISNEY GAY REP.
- Everyone dancing together (instead of everyone just awkwardly watching Belle & Adam dance)

The Game

Pairing: Soulless!Sam x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: Language, tiny bit of humour, masturbation, phone sex, Sir!kink, dom!Sam, Soulless!Sam is a warning in itself.

A/N: Enjoy the fourth wall ;) This maaaay have a second part if everyone’s interested enough.This was also my first Soulless!Sam so I hope I did him justice.

Summary: You and the Winchesters investigate one of John’s cold cases, only forcing the tension between you and Sam to become dangerous.

Challenge: “You fainted…straight into my arms. If you wanted attention, you could’ve asked.” - Phone sex – My Bloody Valentine – #Lexie’s SPN Birthday Challenge @roxy-davenport


Originally posted by acklesdean-blog

Tuesday Afternoon

Investigating Cold Cases were one of your favourite things. Unfortunately, you also fucking hated them.

There was also a wild difference between cold cases in the real world, as you liked to call them, and cold cases in your world.

You were on one of John’s unsolved cases in Seattle with Sam and Dean, stepping out of Baby and heading straight for the bar to relax. Today had served absolutely no purpose. You had interviewed the relatives, the friends, and had investigated the newly dead bodies as well as gone over the old files from the case ten years ago. So far, you’d come up with nothing.

Sam was getting on your nerves, and Dean was just being Dean.

You needed a drink.

Keep reading

So because I am WEAK for romantic stuff (and also a little bit of angst) and because @bechnokid keeps influencing me with these accursed brilliant ideas of hers, let me share another, somewhat tragic idea from this vampire AU that we’ve been discussing! ♡

…and this turned out longer than I meant it to so under a cut it goes!

Keep reading

Harry Styles - Guest Songwriter Imagine


[I’m not as happy with this as I wish I was when I first imagined writing this and that kind of bums me out. I’ve thought about re-writing it but just wanted to get something up for you guys. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m not happy with this - I’m just not. I hope you all like it though!]


Keep reading

Sherlolly Appreciation Week, Day 6- First “I Love You”

Ok so for this one, let’s kind of pretend that s4 never happened. Yeah, I know, that’s hard to do! But honestly, I feel like any first ILY can’t really be believable if s4 happened and it’s set after that. Thank goodness for the non-canon category for this week’s themes lol! And I believe both @elennemigo and @fangirlhani were in favor of me writing the first ILY theme. Hope you guys (and everyone) enjoy what I came up with! Oh and thanks to @artbylexie for not only beta reading but also helping me come up with the setup of this plot. Fun times lol!;))


On Again, Off Again

Molly Hooper stomped up the stairs to 221B. Really stomped. The anger that coursed through her body was intense enough that it felt good to at the very least slam her feet on the steps as she climbed them.

She’d rarely been this angry.

“Sherlock!”

Molly stormed into his flat with fire in her eyes. There he stood, his safety glasses covered eyes looking a bit confused as he stood at his kitchen table holding a beaker with some unidentified fluid in it.

“Molly?” He looked her up and down in an obvious attempt at deduction as she marched in the room and tossed her bag and coat aside in preparation for battle.

“Sherlock, of all the deceitful, unfeeling, and insulting things to do…” she began, pacing back and forth with clenched fists. “How could you think to treat a friend this way?!”

Keep reading