this bird is so funny

  • Millard: Did you guys hear about the italian chef that died today?
  • Jacob: He pasta way.
  • Millard: ...
  • Emma: He ran out if thyme
  • Millard: ...
  • Olive: Here today, gone tomato
  • Millard: ... Stop
  • Hugh: his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it.
  • Millard: seriously, stop.
  • Bronwyn: We never sausage a tragedy
  • Millard: Please stop it.
  • Enoch: Ashes to ashes, crust to crust
  • Millard: Guys.
  • Claire: There's just not mushroom for italian chefs these days.
  • Millard: Horace help me out here!
  • Horace: No way, this is too good.
  • Millard: I'm telling the bird.
  • Everyone: Wait, no
Dating Poe Dameron Would Include
  • Fun Boyfriend™
  • Seriously, you could swear you’ve developed a fine set of abs since you started dating, he makes you laugh so much!
  •  Always making you laugh before he flies out for a mission. Even though he’s a very competent flier, you both know how dangerous his tasks can be. He doesn’t want his last memory with you to be with you crying, and you don’t want your last memory with him to be of him looking like he’s not secretly distraught.
    • So he makes you laugh, you smile for him. It’s gotten to the point where he says your laugh is his lucky charm

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@wacheypena - happy birthday, and I hope you feel better! Have some crackfic coldflash.

Ao3 link

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“You’re going to what?” Len says incredulously. His incredulous voice is very, very flat.

Barry winces.

“I’m going to throw you and your paramour to your doom –” the guy starts.

“No, no, skip that part,” Len says. “Especially the bit about the paramour, no one says that anymore. Get to the part about the birds.”

“Your doom will come at the hands of –”

“Beaks of,” Len says, because he can’t help himself that way.

Barry bangs his head against the wall of the cell. It’s fine, it’ll heal.

“- at the beaks of my beloved feathery friends, my attack birds –”

“You trained attack birds as your gimmick,” Len says. “Consider your application to the Rogues preemptively denied.”

“Must you taunt the supervillain?” Barry asks hopelessly.

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