this better become a thing

anonymous asked:

do you think I'll never be happy because I'm trans? my father told me that by being trans, I was dooming myself to a life of sadness and hardships and he wouldn't support me through it :(

No. That is typical transphobic trans rhetoric that its all sadness and misery and is just a lie honestly. In the early days it can be really difficult and you may feel that way but it is not always the case. I was really bad with it and I would never have believed then that I could feel the way I do now about it. It is cliche but it really does get better. Once you progress through things and become more comfortable with yourself it becomes a smaller and smaller part of your life. It rarely crosses my mind anymore while it was 24/7 in the early days. It does not always have to be the centre of your existence. It can just be a label you rarely need to use and thats it. It is what you make it and getting through things and altering your mindset can help you to get there

It sounds like your father is just making an excuse to not support you by using ignorant statements like that. Its a lot less difficult for us when we have people supportive in our lives, particularly family, so by not suporting you he is actually making it more difficult for you. Trans people who have support have a much better time of it than those who dont (including lower suicide rates). If he wont support you then find an outlet for you that will. Other family members, friends, support groups, talking to people online. Validation is important and avoiding being misgendered etc is good for your mental health so avoiding being around those who are toxic to that is beneficial

Hopefully your father is just ignorant on the issue and it isnt malice. You can try to educate him and show him that those who are supported have better mental health etc than those who arent. He may end up coming around on it. What he said is not true though so dont read too much into that. If he isnt trans then he doesnt know what its like and even if he was its different for everyone so he couldnt talk for someone else. Its not an easy life, particularly in the beginning, but it doesnt always have to be that way and likely wont be. It makes us stronger and there are always people who will support us. Seek them out and your life will be happier without toxicity in it

The Sunshine Club™ is a network that mainly aims to promote positivity, self-love, and equality where you can share your love for animals, plants, art, poetry, and literally whatever the heck you want. You can ask for advices, develop friendships, and relationships with people from all over the world! This network will most likely be facebook-based (I will create a facebook group) so please before entering the club, make sure to have an fb account!

🌻rules:

  • follow me: peachisty (we prolly have similar content anyway)
  • reblog this post (u can rebloop it more than once)
  • like is only for bookmarking
  • fill out this survey form
  • track/follow the tag #sunshineclub

🌻 additional chances:

  • fill out the survey form with 100% of ur heart
  • send me cute asks maybe??
  • rebloop some of my stuff maybe???
  • befriend me maybe???

🌻 things to expect on The Sunshine Club™

  • friendships! new pals with similar interests
  • positivity because that is the main goal of this club
  • the buddy project: every week you will be paired with a different member of the club that you have to befriend and converse with!
  • share your stuff: may it be art, your doggos, cats, pets, selfies, your works, stories, etc! every day, we will be sharing some of our stuff depending on the theme
  • help, advice (fashion, life, love)
  • place to grow because together we will aim to become better versions of ourselves and learn new things: culture, good stuff, music, language, learning styles etc!!
  • group of nice ppl who may follow you!
  • people who can rebloop/like your stuff under the tag that is: #sunshineclub
  • people who can do q4qs, reblog your stuff, send u messages, be ur #1 fan, etc

🌻 things to remember:

  • this network is created for positivity and love! strictly no trolls, rude people around!
  • if you’re just joining this club because you want followers… please… don’t. :(
  • this is the first time I’m doing this so please don’t expect too much! i will try my very best to keep this together tho!
  • pease make sure to have a facebook account before joining the club

🌻 other notes:

  • i will be choosing the members once this post gets a legit amount of entries or notes!
  • announcement of members will be on a separate post
  • most likely gunna rebloop this with the deadline some time soon (im still uncertain)
  • will only be picking max 20 bc i don’t think i  can handle so many ppl
  • i will add more ppl over time so yeppo, dont you worry this is 100% open to everyone but im just trying my best to keep it a little controlled right now wohoo
what we can all learn from seventeen

s.coups: being responsible and leading others fearlessly despite also having your doubts at times

jeonghan: showing affection to those you love, in any way that you can

joshua: being a good sport and being able to take a joke, while still being able to stand up for yourself

jun: being confident about yourself (I know we all joke about this a lot but what jun is doing is actually a really big deal, especially when idols constantly put themselves down; he’s showing us that it’s ok to love yourself)

hoshi: to take inspiration from the most mundane things and channeling all of your passion into what you love

wonwoo: not letting yourself get discouraged by the setbacks you may encounter, and always pushing forward

woozi: the importance of always working hard and taking pride in your work

dokyeom: always being positive and believing in yourself, no matter how hard that can get sometimes

mingyu: to always work hard and push yourself; constantly trying to improve yourself to become a better person

minghao: to take risks and try new things, but at the same time remember your roots and where you came from

seungkwan: not being afraid to show emotion because emotion does not equal weakness

vernon: having an outlet to pour your feelings into in a healthy way and being passionate about what you love

dino: to always be growing and evolving and becoming better and better at whatever it is that you’re doing

The 1 Element Your Flawed Character MUST HAVE

If you’re a reader, you’ve probably experienced this before: you pick up a book, it seems pretty interesting, you nonchalantly decide to read it – “whatever, might be good” – and then … 

A paperback explodes life as you know it.  

Encountering a book like this can give life sudden clarity, it can change the way you look at the world, it can help you overcome something and grow, it can give you new purpose, it can inspire you to change your life, it can transform your future. By the time you’ve finished that book, it has become a part of your life – and will probably remain that way forever. (*Holds up my battered copy of Narnia as evidence*)

This magical experience is pretty much the ultimate goal for a reader. But if you’re a reader AND a writer, the fulfilling moment is inevitably marred by one depressing thought:  

“I’ll never write anything that good.”  

To which I say:

I beg to differ, little discouraging voice. With dedication and persistence, anyone can write a story that will be deeply meaningful to a reader. 

The trick? It needs to be deeply meaningful to the writer first. 

If a writer is going to give a reader a life-altering piece of knowledge, that means the writer already has that knowledge to give. We have all experienced things worthy of a story. We are all characters, journeying through arc after arc, becoming better or worse. From living these stories, we learn and see things more clearly, just as protagonists do. Which means we have something to say, something to write about, something to give. 

But to do so, we have to shoot for art.

The word art seems terribly vague, unattainable, and intimidating. But I don’t think it has to be. By “art” I’m going by the definitions given in two of my favorites quotes about writing (writing is art, so these apply): 

“Art is born when the temporary touches the eternal.” – G K  Chesterton

and

“…It is an art. It is the best of all possible art, a finite picture of the infinite.” – N D Wilson  

Both quotes state the same thing, in different ways. Art is about depicting and communicating something true, something universal, something everlasting about life and humanity, through something tangibly created. A definition which sounds an awful lot like the definition of metaphor: “a thing regarded as representative or symbolic of something else, especially something abstract.” Which sounds a lot like storytelling, because story IS metaphor. It’s life, condensed and magnified, all of its components there for a specific reason – to represent and convey some deeper meaning. So storytelling is naturally suited to being art. Which is good news for writers.

But it can also mean trouble. Storytelling is proven to be one of the most powerful teaching methods there is; a story actually has the power to get into someone’s head and heart and change everything, because to a reader’s mind the events on the page are actually happening. They’re living another life, a life that seeks to prove whatever the author wants to say. So writers have a responsibility to make sure the meaning of their story is true, morally and logically. 

BUT HOW DOES THIS ALL RELATE TO THE MAIN CHARACTER?!

Your main character is flawed, both in ways that only hurt themselves, and in ways that hurt others. These flaws are causing them to ruin their own lives. If they don’t awaken to this unwelcome truth about themselves, they will be lost. What happens to them over the course of the story, as they go after their singular goal, is going to apply pressure to these flaws until someone new – and most of the time, better – is made. The journey will teach them something, and that knowledge will enable them to overcome their weaknesses and forge a better life. 

And I bet you can guess what that story will teach them. That thing that is deeply meaningful for you, so meaningful you want to share it with readers? Yup, that’s what your main character is going to learn.

It’s going to be the SOLUTION to their inner problems. When it comes to characters, the meaning can be wrestled into three parts, adding up into one concise sentence. 

1) To achieve *a better state of being*

2) One must *moral and mental requirement*

3) Or else *the inner stakes*

To see how this works, let’s look at a fairy tale, the most straightforward example of this concept: 

Let’s see Cinderella (the live-action 2015 version). 

The meaning of the movie is summed up in this scene, and the story seeks to prove it throughout: 

“Have courage and be kind… It has power, more than you know. And magic.”

The story revolves around this notion, and everything seeks to represent it and prove it, in true Fairy Tale fashion.  

So in one line, that Ella’s arc proves: To achieve victory over abusers, one must hold onto their courage, kindness, and goodness no matter what – or else succumb and turn into someone like them. 

Exemplified in her last words to her stepmother, that truly defeat her forevermore:

So! Constructing these sentences can help give our flawed characters a destination to motor towards. Which makes writing their arcs much easier. And maybe we can construct a character arc and story that will become one of those magical reading experiences for a reader. And then, maybe one day, we’ll get letters from our reader, telling us exactly what our stories gave them and how it has saved their life in some small way (or maybe not so small way.) 

If finding a book like this is ultimate goal of a reader, I think getting a letter like that is the ultimate goal for a writer. 

Well, there’s my motivation. Time to go figure out what the heck I want my book to say. 

Reasons to watch The Get Down

- Set in the 70’s, we all love vintage aesthetic

- Characters of color that are not only amazing and talented but complex and flawed without being demonized

- Friendships between young characters that are entertaining, supportive and dont rely on putting each other down for the sake of laughs

- Talks about racial and political issues and how they affect poor people (esp poc) really respectfully from many perspectives of many characters

- Music, art, poetry play big parts on this, its all about how these things help the characters (young poc) express themselves and inspire them to become better and reach for bigger things

- Treats abusive relationships (both familiar and romantic) realistically

- LGBT and drag culture represented realistically without being demonized or treated as a joke (also one of the characters may be part of the comunity)

- Young characters are allowed to be young and discover new things and themselves and make mistakes without being portrayed negatively, just as people making mistakes

- Talks about the life poor poc and the struggles they live with as marginalized groups, makes important statements about race and politics, shows the importance of young people and how they express themselves, with beautiful cinematography, aesthetics, soundtrack and an amazing and talented cast and it does it all in only 8 chapters and it could do more if it gets more attention and love

fem!ed/havoc happy au

@arrowsbane well i guess we’re going to just have to keep being inspired by each other. i read her amazing post HERE, which was in turn inspired by my post HERE and you don’t need to read any of these to read this, but can i just say –

holy shit. havoc/ed. what a brilliant fucking paring that i’ve never even thought of before. holy shit, it’s perfect.

so – to set the scene. trans female ed. trans ed who performed human transmutation not to bring anyone back to life (both her parents are alive, but gone, trisha was not content to be left behind this go around) but instead to give her the body she always desired. and she succeeds. she and al are still trained by izumi curtis, and this gives ed her driving passion, her goal in life – to be a housewife.

so she and al go about her adventures, dragging winry along more often than not, but they stay away from central and they always come home. and ed’s about to turn twenty, and pinako is talking to her old friend ellie, and ellie is moaning about her unmarried grandson, her grandson who refuses to inherit the general store and won’t settle down and is off in the military, of all things. he’s a bright, handsome boy, elle says, he just has his head in the wrong place.

and pinako taps her pipe and goes – you know i’ve been raising three kids right, my granddaughter and my neighbor’s kids, a boy and a girl. and ellie is surprised, she thought both elric children were boys, but she dismisses the thought easily. she remembers ed as a tomboy, of course, and with that name who can blame her. but no one’s first thought is unprecendented human transmutation when presented with someone’s who’s a different gender than the one she remembers.

ellie is like oh, is winry looking to settle down? but pinako scoffs, says she’s a career gal through and through. but her other girl, eden – she has a wandering spirit, but she’s a good girl, a lovely country bred woman who’s looking to be a housewife (ellie’s idea of housewife and ed’s idea of a housewife vary wildly, but pinako’s not about to bring that up).  so pinako sends a message to her children, and ellie sends one to her grandson: she’s sending a young woman to central from their hometown. she’s single, and looking to settle down, and the granddaughter of an old family friend.

so jean havoc gets this letter, completely and utterly horrified. the whole team makes fun of him. but grandmother eleanor rules the family with an iron fist, and havoc better come up with a damn good reason not to marry this girl. he’d not interested in a country mouse for a wife. before he can think of one, eden has already agreed and is on a train to central. she convinces al to stay behind, just for a couple of weeks, because she doesn’t want him scaring this jean havoc off.

ed is gorgeous, and a genius, and an absolute terror. she’s dated a lot of men, slept with just as many, and hasn’t found a single one worth her time. she doubts she’ll be interested in a boy from their little rural town, but pinako knows her and she trusts the old woman’s judgement. if she thinks jean havoc is someone who could make her happy, eden is more than willing to give it a shot.

so havoc has to leave early from work to meet his amost-maybe-fiance at the train. obviously, the team minus hawkeye follows him. they’re dying to know.

a country girl. they were expecting a country girl, someone wide eyed, unpolished, a little out of her depth. instead they get eden elric, a girl who’s been to cities and knows how to dress for it. they get eden elric, black boots and black leather pants and a black shirt with a dramatic red coat flaring out behind her. eden elric, golden eyes and golden hair and in the setting afternoon sun just golden. she smiles when she sees him and jean’s mouth goes dry and his heart goes zing! and havoc is going to send his grandmother some really nice flowers. “you must be jean,” she says, voice low and smoky, eyes crinkling at the corners. “you look like your father.”

“i, you,” he fumbles, holding out his hand to shake and stepping forward to take her bag at the same time. “hi.”

“hi,” she repeats, and he’s screwed, she’s already laughing at him and it hasn’t even been five minutes. “did you know you’re being followed?”

he sighs and doesn’t look behind him. “those would be my coworkers and my superior office.”

“delightful,” she says, dry and completely unimpressed, and she’s from resembool, his job and his rank is worse than useless with her, it’s a detriment. none of that crowd like the military. his mother hadn’t talked to him for over a year after he enlisted. “that won’t do. we’ll have to ditch them.”

“how?” he asks, and she grins, sharp. he takes her to his car and she shoves him in the passenger seat and climbs in the driving one, breaking about a thousand laws as she careens down crowded city streets. jean’s horrified for about thirty seconds, then he’s egging her on and cheering, directing her down roads whenever she hesitates and laughing the whole time.

they make it to where he was supposed to drop her off, beaming. “usually men throw up when they drive with me,” she says, beaming.

“nah, that wasn’t scary, it was fun,” he says, and he’s already kissed this relationship goodbye before it’s started. she’s beautiful and brave and exudes the same type of easy confidence the colonel does, and that’s not something he’ll ever be able to match. she’s no country mouse. she’s a supernova, and he’s stardust.

eden smiles at him, and says, “would you like to meet me for lunch, jean?”

havoc peers up at the building, and it’s central university. he wouldn’t have expected a country girl / wanna be housewife to be pursuing a degree, but clearly he should toss every preconceived notion he had about eden out the window, because none of them are going to be right.

“yes,” he says, because eden will make an effort with him for a while, he knows, since she’s here on the insistence of both their grandmothers. but she’ll grow tired of him eventually, like they all do, and jean intends to spend as much time with her as she can before that happens.

except it doesn’t happen. she’s kind and smart, so unbelievable smart, and dry and biting. she snores when she sleeps and get snappy when he interrupts her reading, refuses to drink milk and hates brushing her hair, so more often than not it’s up in a truly awful ponytail. he likes these things about her best, because her little imperfections, her temper and her skittering attention, the messy way she eats, all make her human. she’s flawed, and each new one havoc finds delights him, because the fact that she leaves crumbs on the counter brings her just a little closer to his level.

they keep going out. the brother shows up, and gives him one overly-firm handshake, then takes his lead from eden. she’s happy with him, so alphonse is happy with him, but he imagines the easy friendship he shares with the other man would disintegrate the second eden indicates she’s moved on from him. eden talks about her classes and the kids in them, which ones are good students and which ones aren’t, and havoc keeps meaning to ask what exactly she’s studying but it keeps slipping his mind. he listens to her talk about it for hours, but it’s all science mumbo jumbo and honestly goes in one ear and out the other. he just likes listening to her talk when she’s excited.

she follows him home about a month in, and the sex is so amazingly mind numbingly good it almost doesn’t seem real.

she comes to office one day to meet him for lunch, a first because she hates his office and his work and the impasse they’ve managed to maintain about his career is that they just don’t talk about it much. but she shows up, pretty pale pink dress and softly curled hair, looking close to the delicate country girl they all expected her to be. havoc is running late, and when he shows up it’s to eden sitting on hawkeye’s desk and laughing with the woman. it’s a terrifying experience. he didn’t know hawkeye could laugh.

but she’s around more after that, befriends hawkeye, and jean finds out that eden met catherine armstrong on campus and they’re fast friends, she spends a lot of time at the Armstrong mansion. and havoc is sure that’s it, that eden will meet strong, rich alex and their relationship will go out in flames. but it doesn’t happen, eden keeps asking to see him and he keeps saying yes.

it’s been almost a year when eleanor barks down the line, “are you going to marry this girl or not, jean?”

“i don’t know if that’s something she’s interested in,” he says, because he’s not the marrying sort, but for eden? he would be willing. he’d be a husband if it meant having eden as a wife.

his grandmother scoffs down the line, “she’s a smart girl, jean. if she’s still seeing you, she’s interested in it. she didn’t move to central to date you. the girl wants to be a housewife.”

and jean hems and haws, but the thing is he does love eden. and maybe, just maybe, eden loves him. so he goes to hawkeye for help, and she goes, “oh thank god, finally.” havoc is offended for all of two seconds before realizing that means eden’s been waiting for him to propose. yes.

he’s walking down the street with her after a movie, holding up his jacket over both of them as some sort of minimal protection from the rain. there’s a ring burning a hole in his pocket, but thanks to the torrential downpour this is not the romantic evening he intended. they see roy, and are confused for about to seconds until they see serial killer scar going to attack him. havoc yells at eden to run, and she does – right at the serial killer.

but then she does something he’s never seen her do, she claps her hand together and blue energy cracks in the air, and – she’s an alchemist?

he really should have had that conversation about what she’s studying at university.

she good, incredible good, and he knew she worked out, but he didn’t know she was combat trained. she launches a relentless alchemica/physical attack against scar that has him running away with his tail between his legs. ed’s helping roy up when jean runs up and grabs her by shoulders to shout, “you’re an alchemist!”

“what,” she blinks, “of course I am? i talk about it all the time! i know i teach the advanced theoretical alchemy seminar, but my knowledge isn’t theoretical. what kind of professor would i be if I didn’t’ test my own theories before teaching them?”

“teach,” he says faintly, “professor. right.” he’s such an idiot, eden isn’t attending central university, she’s teaching there.

she gives him an odd look, and okay, his girlfriend is way more awesome and too good for him than he previously thought, but that doesn’t change anything.

“will you marry me?” he asks. they’re sweat, rain, and blood soaked. roy has horrible gash on his side, and he thinks eden might have a broken arm. he had a speech planned, but he can’t remember it right now. “you do still want to be a housewife, right?” he knows better now, that eden will never be the traditional housewife. but he can give her a home and his name, and, oh god, kids, when she wants them. he’ll give her everything within his power to give her, if only she’ll take it.

finally,” eden and roy say at the same time, and havoc doesn’t have the time to get flustered before she’s kissing him.

and they all lived happily ever after

With each passing day, you’ll get to know yourself more and more. You may discover things that you never knew about yourself, or reasons behind why you feel the way you do about certain things. It’s so important to become better acquainted with yourself. After all, you are your own beautiful self.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

Happy Valentine’s Day!! (two hours late) 

Yes, Bilbo is drinking either gazpacho or bloody mary,  you choose. All those tomatoes cannot simply be decoration pls. 


I hope you all have had a good day <3, I saw Vaiana and it was such a good movie I almost cried.

Are we going to talk about how scary being the Inquisitor is for a Lavellan or…?

I mean, the more and more I play this game, the more the Chantry shit is terrifying. Over and over again, you see painful and irrefutable evidence about the shit humans did to elves in the name of the Maker. The Exalted Plains(I consistently call it Dirthavaren you don’t like it fight me bitch) Like I think the entire fandom can agree on fuck that bitch sister Amity. The Chantry crusades destroyed what was left of the elves, destroyed them. Mind, body and soul. Like be honest, there aren’t many Dalish clans left and each time a new game/book comes around, another one bites the dust. It’s so easy to lose your clan in Inquisiton and even easier to accidentally kill off Marethari’s. Hell, you can choose to kill Zathrian’s. The Dalish are dying out, either way you slice it.

Then suddenly a hole rips open in the sky and everybody thinks Lavellan did it. It destroys the Conclave…don’t tell me for one second that the humans didn’t immediately start developing an ‘elves and vengeance and antiMaker conspiracy theory’. The 'remain silent’ dialogue option in that first interaction isn’t a stoic 'I don’t give a fuck’ to me, it’s more of a 'whatever I say doesn’t matter I’m already dead’. And the horror is knowing that they wont just kill you, they’ll call for a bloodbath on elves across Thedas.

“For the elves were guilty of the greatest sin, of turning from the Maker.”

You’ve damned them all and you can’t even remember how or why. For a First, it must be terrifying to realize even if you try to diplomatically talk your way out of it, they’ll never believe you. As a hunter, you know it’s hopeless. All you can do is throw yourself forward as the villain, claim that whatever happens you acted alone and take as many of these shems out with you as you can.

“Whatever you think I did, I’m innocent!”

But then they believe you(barely, like thank the Creators the Lavellan clan taught you how to talk to humans civilly and not panic) but it’s basically a hostage situation. There’s one other elf with you and even if he’s not Dalish thank Mythal because shit you were scared and you’re still scared but at least it’s something. His name is ‘Pride’. You take it as a sign from the Creators that it’s not time to give up yet. Suledin, you think.

There is an orb, a weapon that caused this. Solas tells you it’s elven and your heart sinks.

“Eventually, the humans will find a way to blame elves…”

You become Inquisitor and things are a little better but the humans call you Herald of Andraste. You don’t believe in their Maker but none of them care. You know your clan would feel betrayed, think you’ve given up your gods. You haven’t of course but the terror is there…what if the gods think you’ve given up the gods? You talk to Cassandra and Leliana, trying to understand the human chantry and maybe figure out a way for your two beliefs to coexist. You realize it wont help, Cassandra talks about spreading the Maker’s word to all corners of Thedas…you remember the lonely howls of the wolves across Dirthavaren. You know what 'spreading the Makers word’ means. Leliana at least acknowledges what the Chantry did, but she dismisses it with words. All those lives and hopes and dreams dismissed with the words ‘that hate won’t just go away if you dissolve the Chantry’. You understand what she really means, though. She’s saying that the hate will never go away, not until the elves are just like humans. She says she wants elves to be part of the chantry and you try not to taste bile in the back of your throat when you think of what that means.

“My father says humans are like weeds that choke out the grass…”

Sorry, sometimes I get deep in Dalish feels and need to express them…

Liar, Liar: Part 1

(( OOC: Girl played by: @sirussly )) 

Remus: *quietly enters the werewolf “den”, setting his things aside*

Fenrir: *smiles pleasantly as he finishes binding a young woman’s hands to a chair* 

Girl: *whimpers* 

Fenrir: Hm… rough day?

Fenrir: *glances at the girl, contemplating* *leans forward and sniffs* 

Girl: *pulls against straps, trying to get away*

Fenrir: *grins* She smells like a muggle.

Remus: *licks lips nervously* Especially if there are more than one in the same goddam area. I can only do so much. 

Keep reading

mercy

Genre: Angst

Length: 4.2k words

Pairing: Yoongi/Reader/Jimin

Summary: You knew the relationship was falling apart, you just couldn’t accept it.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Yoongi whispered.

I looked at him in disbelief. The tears that were threatening to fall soon enough shamelessly came and for a second I thought I felt my heart actually break. Deep down, I wanted everything to be a joke, I wanted this to be some sort of sick prank. But looking at Yoongi’s face, I knew it was far from that.

“Why did you do it?” I asked looking down. He stayed quiet, not daring to look at me, and after what felt like hours he took a deep breath.

“I honestly don’t know Y/N,” he began “I wasn’t thinking at all.” I let out a sob.. Wasn’t thinking? What does he mean he wasn’t thinking? Is he meaning to tell me that I didn’t cross his mind not once?

“I-It was more than just sex with her Y/N, as much as she seems to be bitch to everyone she isn’t bad. I don’t know what to do. I already lost so much by doing this.” He added as he turned to look at me.

My heart shattered. The only thing worse than getting cheated on is, having the person who cheated on you not wanting to fix it. We were invincible. Since I was 15 I vowed to commit to him and overcome any obstacles that life threw at us. Every fight we had was resolved by the end of the day because we never went to sleep mad at each other. But now, years later I never thought anything would change. And to be honest.. I was too naive to think this would last forever. Yoongi always had eyes for me, he always thought about me before he made a decision. Looking into the eyes of the love of your life and not seeing a spark anymore is heartbreaking. To feel like I was not worth fighting for anymore made me feel worthless.

“I love you Y/N, I still want you around.” Yoongi said breaking me out of my thoughts. “Even if we’re not together you will always be mine.” he added. My body went numb, my mind went blank. I looked at him and smiled. “I’ll never leave Yoongi.”

The next couple weeks were gloomy. Even though Yoongi never stopped talking to me, every night always ended with an argument, which resulted in him blocking me and ignoring me until he felt like talking to me again. Meanwhile I was constantly surrounded by a dark cloud that didn’t leave. I barely got out bed. And when I did, I would find any reason to go back to my hole of self pity. I didn’t eat much anymore and only got a couple hours of sleep at night. Constant thoughts attacked my mind telling me I wasn’t good enough to keep him, that he was better off without me, that I needed him. And as crazy as it sounds, I wanted him back more than anything. I wanted to have another chance to show that I can be a better girlfriend to him, better than her. I never asked about her. I didn’t want to know anything about her. The one girl who managed to make him do this. And from what I heard she wasn’t with Yoongi because she liked him. Anyone can tell she was just using him, but he was too blind to see that. She had him wrapped around her little finger and still slept with any guy she wanted, while Yoongi pretended that he didn’t know. And that’s what killed me.

It was around 10:30pm when Yoongi called. I mentally cursed at myself for answering so quickly, “Hey,” I said. “Hey babygirl, just wanted to hear your voice.” I could feel my face turn red and softly smiled at his words. “I miss you.” I said. For the next two hours we were on the phone and for once I was happy.

“Are you free tomorrow?” I ask. As much as I wanted to give him space, I wanted to see him.

I hear him heavily sigh and I already knew what was coming. “I’m sorry Y/N, I want to see you as much as you do but-” he mumbled. My heart sank and a feeling of sadness came over me. “Yeah I get it, she means more to you than I ever did.” I replied. “Please don’t start Y/N we were talking just fine.” he said.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “News flash, I haven’t been fine since you chose her over me, you only knew her for a week.”

“STOP. Y/N goddammit don’t fucking start again.” He yelled out. I could hear his breathing increase and I knew him well enough to know he was pissed.

“Why are you doing this to me huh Yoongi? Was I that fucking horrible to you that you had to do this to me?” I cried. Again tears rolled down my face and I started sobbing.

“I’m not dealing with this tonight.” He said and hung up.

Fucking asshole. That’s what he’s good at, ignoring me and running away from his problems. I dialed his number again hoping he could pick up but soon realized he blocked my number. I began to panic knowing very well I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight if he was ignoring me.

For the next hour I constantly called hoping he would unblock me but I had no luck. My sobbing increased and I began to feel suffocated in my apartment. I just wanted to run, I wanted to run until I couldn’t feel the pain anymore, I wanted to disappear. I knew I was pathetic doing this to myself. But I couldn’t help it, Min Yoongi destroyed me.

I couldn’t take being inside anymore and left my apartment to clear my head. It was almost midnight and although it wasn’t a good idea to be walking at this hour, I didn’t care. The night air made me shiver and I decided not to go very far considering it was cold. I walked to the gym right by my apartment and sat at the side of the building. I tried dialing Yoongi again, and sure enough he didn’t pick up. I put my phone back in my pocket and buried my face in my hands and cried. Why wasn’t I good enough for him anymore? Why am I still around for him begging him to come back when it’s not what he wants anymore? I was deeply in love with him to even think about moving on, and he knew that.

“A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be out this late crying.” A voice said, that made your head snap up.

My eyes met the face of a stranger, a very attractive stranger.

I quickly wiped my tears away and stood up backing away from him,  “Ahh I’m sorry” I replied flustered.

He chuckled, “Don’t worry, I don’t bite.” I smiled at him. “That’s good to hear, but what could you possibly be doing out here this late?” I asked sarcastically.

He motioned toward the gym “I work here, on my break.”

I looked at him confused. “Isn’t it too late to for a gym to be opened?” I replied. 

“It’s opened 24/7, I work the night shifts.” He said. I nodded at him and sat back down.

“Now if you don’t mind me asking, why were you crying?” He asked.

I bit my lip and tried to come up with some random excuse. “Umm it’s just tha-” I started to say.

“Boyfriend troubles?” He blurted.   

I chuckled, “Something like that.”

“Mind telling me about it?” He asked.

I looked away sighing. “Honestly.. I’m not ready to talk about it just yet, but long story short he cheated on me.. and somehow I can’t let him go.”

“By the looks of you crying it seems like he doesn’t want the same.” He said.

“It’s.. complicated.” I answered, “He chose her but he still wants me around.”

He looked at me, “I know I barely met you but you shouldn’t give him the satisfaction of still being there for him. You’re worth more than that.”

Tears began forming and I nodded. We both sat in silence for what felt like forever until he stood and offered his hand to help me up.

“I hate to leave you alone but I have to get back to work.” He sadly said.

“Right, sorry.” I mumbled and began to make my way home.

“Before you go, I didn’t get your name” He said

“Oh right, it’s Y/N.” I answered.

He smiled at me, “Y/N, the name suits you.”

I laughed, “Thanks?”

“I’m Jimin by the way”

It was around three days later when Yoongi texted you.

“I miss you Y/N, I’m sorry about everything.”

I stared at the text for the longest time and debated on replying or not. And about an hour later I gave in and replied. This was a cycle, he always apologized after ignoring me for days, knowing I would be waiting. Dammit why was I so weak when it came to him? It was like he had me under a spell and I couldn’t do anything about it.

“Can I come over right now?” another text read.

I answered a quick yes and made my way to the shower so I can look like I wasn’t miserable the past few weeks. About 30 minutes later he was at the door.

“Hey babygirl.” He said smiling.

I felt my cheeks getting hot “Hey Yoongi.” I said while leading him inside.

He took off his jacket and shoes and made himself comfortable.

I laughed to myself thinking back to memories when Yoongi would come over right after work tired and fall asleep on my bed. Or back to the first summer of us dating when he would be at my house and we would watch stupid reality TV shows, eating pizza, and enjoying each other’s company. Back when I was his everything, back when we were invincible. The older we got, the more I thought things were getting better. We were becoming more mature and we both knew what we wanted. A future together. I never expected months later for that to suddenly change.

I snapped back to reality when Yoongi cleared his throat. “Listen, I’m really sorry about-”

I stopped him, “No don’t worry about it, it was my fault.” I said quietly.

His face softened “No I shouldn’t have ignored you.”

“It’s fine..really.” I answered.

He forced a smile, “H-how have you been?” He asked.

“It doesn’t matter honestly-”

“It does matter Y/N, even if you don’t believe it, I care so much.” He stated.

I started biting my nails, it was a really bad habit of mine. But whenever I get nervous I don’t know what else to do.

“You’re nervous.” He said.

I looked up embarrassed “I-I’m sorry.”

He cupped my face in hands and looked me in the eyes, “It’s me Y/N, your Yoongi don’t be nervous around me.”

He crashed his lips into mine and before I could process what was happening, I realized I was kissing him back. He deepened the kiss and before I knew it I was reaching to take his shirt off.

He stopped me. “Do you want this as bad as I do?”

I nodded and continued kissing him and led him to my bedroom.

I woke up hours later to the sound of Yoongi’s phone ringing. I groaned and nudged him to wake up to answer the phone. To my surprise however, he declined it. I shot him a confused look, “Shouldn’t you answer her?”

He shook his head, “I just want to enjoy our time together right now.” I smiled and he wrapped me in his arms. As much as I hate the situation we’re in, being with him is the only thing that can make me happy.

“I want to try and end things with her.”

My head snapped up at his sudden words, “Do you really?” I asked.

“I don’t know what I’m doing Y/N, I want to make things right for us so bad.”

“Yoongi, you know what to do to fix this.” I said softly.

He stayed quiet for a long time. I didn’t care though, just the simple words he said made me see that maybe just maybe.. it was worth waiting around for him. The sleepless nights, endless crying, everything could finally stop.

“I’m going to see her soon and I promise that I will fight for us.”

“Forever and always right?” I said.

“Forever and always.”

The next couple of days were a breeze. I managed to catch up on sleep which I’ve been so badly. I went out with friends after canceling so many times when I was down. Yoongi and I were talking just like before. I was happy. I knew it was going to take some time for us to get back together and I was happy to wait as long as he fought for us. Although I was waiting for the message informing me that he finally left her, I didn’t want to seem like I was pressuring him.

I was laying on my couch catching up on shows I’ve missed while eating ice cream, when I got a text from Namjoon asking to hang out. I smiled at myself and instantly replied telling him yes. My heart dropped suddenly remembering how much I have been shutting him out ever since this happened. Namjoon worked in the music industry and was extremely busy but he always made time for his best friend. We grew up together and he was always the one person I went to when I needed someone. Namjoon always acted like an older brother to me, a very overprotective brother I must add. When I first started dating Yoongi you can bet he didn’t approve, but as time passed he eventually accepted him. I instantly felt a wave of guilt realizing I hadn’t even told him about what happened between Yoongi and I. He knew me well enough to know that there’s something wrong just by the look on my face. I debated with myself on calling him and telling him that something came up, but I knew that would only make it worse- I never canceled on Namjoon, no matter how busy I was. Even though I wanted to avoid talking about it, I knew I had to tell my best friend. I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my phone buzz besides me.

“Let’s go to dinner then? Usual place :)” the text read. I laughed to myself knowing that no matter how more successful he got, he still loved our tradition of going out for a greasy slice of pizza and a beer. I sent a quick reply and dashed to the shower to start getting ready. “Goodness Y/N what are you going to tell Namjoon?” I thought to myself. I knew I couldn’t keep this from him, he would only blame himself saying he wasn’t there enough. I quickly put together an outfit and applied makeup to look a bit more alive. Thirty minutes later, I was finally ready and out the door to my car. Well…it’s now or never.

I got to our favorite pizza place and ordered food for the both of us. Namjoon was always late, even if it was something really important. Ever since we were kids he had a habit of showing up late. I didn’t mind though and took our food to an empty table. I occupied myself with my phone and it wasn’t until 15 minutes later that he finally got here. “Y/N I’m so glad to see you!” Namjoon happily says. My face lights up and I immediately give him the biggest hug. “I haven’t seen you in so long!” I say as we both sit down, “I know I’m so sorry I’ve been so busy.” He replies with a slight frown on his face. I shot him a look, “Don’t worry, I understand just don’t forget about your best friend.”

“Never will” He says while taking a bite of his food.  I smiled and started eating, “So how’s work been?” “Tiring, busy, you name it.. I don’t care much since I’m doing something I love.” He happily replied.

“I’m proud of you and I’m so glad to hear that.” I say while taking a sip of my soda.

For the next hour we talked about memories when we were younger and catching up with each other. I completely forgot about what has been going on with me since I was so happy being with my best friend. That is, until the dreaded question came.

“So how are things going with Yoongi?” He curiously asked. My face instantly dropped and I frowned. “F-Fine, we are doing fine.” I quietly answered.

Namjoon raised his eyebrow at me and scanned my face long and hard, “You’re not telling me the truth.” He stated. I didn’t answer him and instead looked down and started biting my nails.

“You’re nervous Y/N what’s wrong?” At this point I felt the tears forming in my eyes and I felt like I was going to barf all the food I had just ate. I didn’t want to tell him, but at the same time I did. My heart was racing and my head felt like it was going to explode.

“Y/N what the hell happened?” He asked again. I sighed, “I just… we broke up but we’re trying to work things out.”

“Why did you guys break up?” He quickly asked.

“I don’t know.” I lied. I gulped hoping he would believe me but I knew there was no way he would. If I told him what Yoongi did, Namjoon would not let me anywhere close to him.

“Don’t lie to me Y/N.” I could tell he was losing patience.

“Namjoon-” I began.

“Tell.ME.”

“He cheated on me.” I murmured avoiding to meet his gaze.

Silence. For a while there was just silence. I refused to look up and say anything else. I was embarrassed, scared, I felt pathetic.

My head shot up when I heard Namjoon chuckle. I looked at him confused not knowing what to say, I met his eyes and boy was he pissed.

“You’re telling me that you’re willing to make things work with him again?” He rhetorically asked.

“I know you’re upset and I don’t blame you for it, but I’m willing to stay until he leaves her.” I mumbled.

His eyes widened and his face turned red, “LEAVES HER? You mean he left you for some girl? And you’re still around?” He started yelling.

Tears started falling down my face “Please don’t be upset.” I choked out.

He snorted, “Upset? Nope. I’m furious. It’s taking everything I have not to leave right now and kill that bastard.”

“Namjoon-”

“No Y/N, I am not going to let you sit there and stick around until he decides to fucking value you. You deserve to find happiness and all he is doing is causing you pain.” I didn’t say anything and instead stayed quiet. He stood up and led me out the restaurant. “Let’s get you home.”

I nodded and followed him out, the cold air hit me as soon as we got out the door and I immediately regretted not bringing a sweater with me. I looked down on my phone and I saw missed calls from Yoongi. I bit my lip in confusion considering he never calls me. I decided I’d get back to him once I got home.

We made it to my car and I looked up at my best friend. Disappointment was written all over his face and I took a deep breath.

“Can we please talk tomorrow Y/N? I need to make sure you’re okay.”

“Of course. I’m sorry for ruining our night.”

He gave me a sympathetic look, “Stop, I haven’t been around much and I’m sorry for that. I promise I’ll be there more regardless of my job. I need to protect my best friend.”

I smiled at him, “Love you Joonie, get home safe?”

“Text me once you’re home alright?” He added while opening my car door.

“I will,” I said while giving him the biggest hug.

As soon as I stepped into my apartment I dialed Yoongi before doing anything else. To my surprise he didn’t answer and I frowned. I quickly sent him a text and got ready for bed. As I was just about to close my eyes, my phone rang. Groaning, I reached over and picked up without even checking who it was.

“Hello?” I groggily say.

“Y/N are you up?” The other person said and I instantly knew the voice.

“I was just about to fall asleep Yoongi, but what’s up?” I replied.

He sighed, “Can we talk?”

I frowned at the sound of his voice, “uh sure.”

“I’ll be at your place in 10 minutes.” And with that, he hung up.

Before I knew it there was knocking on the door and I immediately got up to open the door.

Yoongi looked tired, saddened, and just… different. He awkwardly walked in with his head down and I knew something was wrong. My stomach dropped, “What’s wrong Yoongi?” I whispered and reached out to hold his hand. He flinched and pulled back without looking up at me.

He let out a deep breath, “I’m sorry Y/N.”

And that’s when my world came crashing down again.

The sound of rain against my window helped distract me from my endless thoughts of pure emptiness. I continued to play with the food that I didn’t even bother to eat and sat in silence.

It had been weeks that I had a decent meal, much less smiled. I debated many times calling Namjoon, but I always fought against that thinking he was too busy. He checked in a couple times over text but I was good at feeding him lies on how I was okay. Although he was my best friend, I just didn’t want to burden him again.

The day Yoongi came, I knew he changed his mind about coming back to me. He still texted though, and I knew that I was hurting myself way more by still sticking around. Soon enough text messages came almost once a week and I could  tell he was distancing himself. What made things worse was that he flaunted his new relationship on social media, and that hurt more than anything. Yoongi was never one to brag about someone, unless the person meant a lot to him.

I was laying on my bed after coming home from a night with my friends and I was happy considering I haven’t felt this alive for about three months. I tried my best to shut the thought of him out of my head and I did what I thought was best… move on. I constantly told myself that nothing will bring me back to how I was when I was so low and needed to be strong. I was getting ready for bed and I checked my phone one last time before I decided to sleep.

And that was a big mistake. My heart dropped as I paused on a post Yoongi had uploaded of them together. I felt my throat close and tears well up in my eyes, fuck. Why the hell does this shit affect me so much? Before I knew it I was sobbing and all the feelings I was trying to avoid came rushing back. Without thinking I threw some shoes on and ran out my front door not caring how loud I slammed it. I was halfway down the street when I realized I forgot my phone and I sighed. I quickly figured I didn’t need it and continued walking. I eventually made it to the spot next to the gym I always came too and sat down breathing in the cool air. My mind began to wander and my thoughts were interrupted by a cough next to me. I shot my head up and met Jimin’s face. “Haven’t seen you in awhile.” He says. “Almost thought you got back with him.” He added. I looked away not responding, it’s almost pathetic how bad I wish that was what happened.

I heard him awkwardly sit next to me and from the corner of my eye I can see he was thinking on what to say next.  

“Please don’t feel sorry for me” I mumble while trying to blink the tears forming in my eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“Honestly? No. I don’t. I want everything to be okay with us, I want things to be how they were back then. I want him to be happy with just me.” I admitted. “Do you know how stupid I feel? How pitiful I look?”

“You’re not stupid for wanting that, you have every right to feel all these emotions. But Y/N please don’t let him have so much control over you. He’s not worth it.” He grabbed my face and made me look at him, “Please Y/N.” He pulled me in for a hug and just as I was about to answer him a deep voice beat me to it.

“What the hell is going on?”

I panicked quickly getting up and moving away from Jimin. “Yoongi?” I practically yelled.

Shit.


author’s note: ahhh i really hope you guys liked it! I am not confident in my writing yet but i’m getting there! i wrote this after my relationship fell apart, and although I’m still getting over it, writing makes me feel so much better. 

The one bad thing that could come from Worm getting popular is the inevitable Tumblr Discourse. Can you imagine? What’s worse, people saying you can’t like Regent or Bitch because they did bad things, or people being apologists for them?

The only way to become a better person is to deal with the pain that comes afterwards.
—  Poets Love Her
The Seeds of Chloe’s Redemption

There has been a lot of hate (mostly deserved) heaped on Chloe Bourgeois by the ML fandom, as well as theories of a redemption arc that she may go through to become the Bee Miraculous holder.  Chloe is one of my favorite characters.  Most people see the nasty personality she shows to the majority of Paris and immediately hate her.  Her peers, the fans, even the main characters usually treat her with disdain.  Again, mostly deserved.

However, there is a lot more beneath the surface of Chloe’s world that we don’t see.  How much do we know about her home life?  We’ve seen how miserable Adrien is.  Chloe also doesn’t seem to have her mother, Adrien and Sabrina are her only friends and even though her father dotes on her, does she really have a healthy father/daughter relationship with him?  

I’ve mentioned before (in this post) that I believe Adrien is friends with Chloe because he saw glimpses of humanity in her and wanted to help her become a better person.  Things like…

In “Darkblade” (Le Chevalier Noir):

  • Chloe is being her usual nasty self and an akuma attacks
  • Sabrina grabs Chloe for protection
  • Chloe puts her arm protectively around Sabrina
  • Is this the first glimpse we get of our budding bee?


In “Antibug”:

  • Instead of accepting Mylene as a scapegoat, she’s honest and blames an “invisible force” for pulling her hair
  • She risked the ridicule of the class to do this
  • I dunno it was like a unicorn or leprechaun or some shit
  • wtf, Chloe?!
  • Not a ghost.  Or the wind.  A LEPRECHAUN.

See where I’m going with this below the cut…

Keep reading

You know, I like the idea of Zuko making the wrong decision in Ba Sing Se and being able to recover from that. But like, I’m also lowkey upset we didn’t get to see Zuko run off with the Gaang at the end of Book 2. What we had was good and dramatic but just imagine:

- 78% of Zuko’s S3 angst comes from his decision to side with Azula in Ba Sing Se so if he never had that moral quandary, it’s arguable Zuko would be more at ease with himself and the others especially given how good he was doing at the end of Book 2. Plus the Gaang (Katara especially) would be much easier on him so instead of being angry/suspicious, it’d just be super…. awkward… getting used to another member plus an ex-fire prince who used to chase them? Classic

- Also so like it’s very possible the Gaang could’ve escaped Ba Sing Se unharmed with Zuko’s help. The city was going to fall no matter what but Zuko probably could’ve stopped Azula lightening at Aang. My point being, that spirit water is still available and she did offer to heal Zuko’s scar… just a thought. It would come in handy when undercover if the traitor prince no longer has his obvious identifying mark.

- After about 5 minutes Sokka decided that Zuko was his new best friend, he’s a guy around his age who’s mature but also mischievous with a love of weaponry and strategy and yes. Zuko and Sokka are attached at the hip and it drives Katara crazy cause they get into so much trouble but she’s never seen her brother happier. Oh my god, when Sokka gets his meteor sword the two of them will spar all day. They get their weapons taken away frequently.

- Chief Hakoda sees Zuko has repented and hears .4 seconds of his story before trying to adopt him. (“You’ll love the Water Tribe Prince Zuko! Don’t worry, your new grandmother will fatten you up” “!?!”) Toph has to break it to Hakoda that Iroh has already claimed Zuko and Zuko meanwhile is overwhelmed by all this affection. Still, he’s honorary Water Tribe now

- Zuko interacting in normal Fire Nation towns. Think about it, he was a crown prince, he’d probably never been outside the capital city and then he was banished from the Fire Nation. He’s likely never seen regular Fire Nation life. It’s just as new and exciting for him (plus he helps them blend a little better)

- Zuko starting Aang’s firebending training, being a bit more gentle once he hears the reasons for Aang’s block. They walk through the basics and soon Aang slowly but surely begins to develop his bending. Zuko is able to learn from everyone too and, on a whim, decides to practice lightening bending. His mind is free of turmoil and is shocked when he’s easily able to summon the electricity. He scared the pants off his sleeping companions who think Azula has come to them.

-  Katara and Zuko, mom and dad of the group. They just fall into sync parenting the often wild Aang and Toph while keeping Sokka in line. Zuko insists on helping her with cooking and cleaning up and is surprisingly good at it. She nags all the others about following Zuko’s example. Also awesome playful bending battles between opposing elements that always gets crashed halfway through by the others.

- Appa and Momo adore Zuko, Aang and Sokka are totally jealous. Appa because he knows Zuko saved him from Lake Laogai and Momo because Zuko is a literal heater and he can almost always be found snuggled with Zuko. But Zuko is, in general, very good with animals. Even better than Aang.

- Joking about Zuko’s past mistakes becomes a thing, it’s not awkward or snippy, they just love bringing up embarrassing memories and teasing him about it. It helps Zuko feel more at ease, he still feels bad for the things he did in Book 1, but they tease to let him know he’s forgiven.

- Like in canon, Iroh is captured in Ba Sing Se and Zuko is half mad with grief for a while afterward until he hears that Iroh was not executed but merely thrown into prison. He cried happily and openly when he learned he hasn’t lost his only remaining family member who loves him. He makes plans to break Iroh out on the Day of Black Sun.

- On a side note, Zuko tells the story of his mom and you know, you fuckening know, that Operation: Find Zuko’s Mom is a go. He doesn’t have Ozai’s confirmation but he still suspects she’s alive. They all agree to search after the war ends.

- Zuko gets along with Toph better than all the others, they get the whole idea of nobility and honor but also know when to let things loose. Firebending and Earthbending have similar principles so they gel together. Katara and Aang are relieved that Zuko is there to balance out Toph’s brashness with his own quiet stubbornness. He fits in so well, it’s weird to imagine him not always being there, he’s able to complement everyone.

- The Gaang realizes very quickly that Zuko’s self-esteem and sense of worth is below nothing. Years of emotional (and physical) abuse from his family, being told he’s weaker and worthless plus those years of shameful banishment means he’s got no confidence. Aang breaks down into tears when Zuko casually remarks that he likely won’t survive the war. He’s legitimately shocked to hear the Gaang would be devastated if he died. The team works hard to build up his confidence and let him know that they love him. It works wonders on his mood and even his firebending improves without that mental block. Team Avatar swears that they’ll defeat Ozai not just for what he’s done to the world, but what he’s done to their friend.

- Once relaxed and assured of his place, Zuko really opens up. He’s never had true humor in his life but he develops a cutting but wry sense of humor and more often than not finds himself chuckling at Sokka’s terrible jokes. His protective, stubborn nature is in full force and he would do anything to keep his turtleducks safe (he’s usually put in his place but he’s trying ok). Temper’s still there, it’s a firebending thing, but it’ll flame and go out quickly and people just get used to it. He gets playful with his bending and is not above pranks. He’s smiled more in the time before in the invasion than he ever remembers in his whole life.