this be my play brother

i was taking a nap while my brother was playing video games in the next room and he screamed the name lance which woke me up (his friends name is lance) and i was like ?? and was kind of in that semi conscious state where i didnt know who i am or where i was so i was like “who me? im lance i guess? that name is so familiar it must be me” and hopped out of bed and i thought to myself “jeez i should be more careful since im 8 months pregnant” and i started waddling to the door holding my belly and then i was like wait a minute…im eliot not lance…and then wait a minute…im not fucking pregnant….and i was holding my perry the platypus pillow pet and anyways im going back to sleep

michellefun27  asked:

My bfs poker game has been going on for a couple hours. I've had three of the guys feel up my ass and pussy under my skirt. They just carried my bf up to bed because he passed out. Just have to watch because one of my brothers is playing.

Damn fam! 💋

some more things about the Toddler from Hell™ aka Pidge

  • she does NOT share food. Especially not with Matt
    • one time she had french fries and Matt swiped one and ate it. She bit his finger and literally would not let go until he gave her some of his fries as payment for her stolen one
    • then Shiro steals a fry and she’s just. Totally chill with it. Matt feels betrayed. Again.
  • Matt invites over his crush. While he’s in the bathroom, PIdge tells the girl that he eATS PAPER AND THINKS BLUE PAPER TASTES THE BEST
    • when Matt comes out of the bathroom, the girl is gone and Pidge is sitting there like B))
  • Pidge is d e f i n i t e l y that kid who repeats everything someone says, just to annoy them
    • the only problem is that Matt has a lot of patience and he’s smart enough to shut up when Pidge starts repeating his words so it never works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • PIDGE STEALS ALL OF MATT’S HALLOWEEN CANDY
  • Matt and Shiro have a movie night at the Holt’s. Pidge thinks they’re watching a cool action movie so she sneaks towards the living room even though it’s past her bedtime. She can hear Matt and Shiro singing(?) so she hides by the doorway and peeks in…And finds Matt and Shiro singing along to Mulan, specifically to “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”
    • when she strolls into the room, Matt’s voice cracks and she nearly pees her pants. Her hysterical laughter gives her away and Matt wants to disappear
  • Matt and Shiro take her to a park and she rushes towards the swings. Matt goes to push her and she screams bloody murder. Shiro goes to push her and she smiles like a little angel :)) (poor Matt feels even more betrayed)
  • Pidge loves to hide around corners and scare the SHIT out of Matt when he walks around
    • once when he was going upstairs for bed, she quietly climbed up the stairs after him and scREECHED into his ear. He got so scared his voice went up an octave and he almost slipped and fell
  • Matt caught Pidge reading a book by flashlight after her bedtime and in her panic, she chucked the flashlight at him and nailed him right in the forehead. It was hard to explain how he got the bump without getting Pidge in trouble
    • Pidge’s idea of an excuse was saying Matt fell out of bed and slammed his face on the floor. And that’s exactly what she made Matt tell their parents the next morning
  • Pidge once got so mad at Matt that she reset his entire video game when he had finally made it to the final boss battle :’)
  • in another instance, she asked Matt what video game he was playing and when he didn’t respond, she ejected the game just to look at the cartridge. Matt lost all his data and it took everything in him not to chuck Pidge out the window

When making your brother an ARMY backfires …

Me: Mom, after the divorce, when you leave Dad, you don’t plan on staying single forever, do you?

Mom: I’ve never thought about it, why?

Me: Well, there’s this guy. A Korean guy.

Mom: A Korean guy?

Me: Yeah, can I set you up with him?

Mom: Uh, how on Earth did you get in contact with a Korean man? We live in South-Asia.

Me: I have my ways.

Mom: I need details.

Me: Well, he’s 45 years old, you’re 40. It could work out.

Mom: Name?

Me: Bang Shi Hyuk.

Mom: Anything else? Has he been married before?

Me: Nope. He has seven sons, though.

Mom: S-SEVEN SONS? HOW DID HE END UP WITH SO MANY? THATS LIKE A WOLF PACK!

Me: No, they’re all older than me. And very well-behaved, too. Like they’ll take care of you. Not the other way around.

My brother *walking into the room*: One of them wrote a song with the lyrics, ‘I’m a master, baby, with your bra.’

Mom: WHAT? THAT’S HORRIBLE!

My brother: And if you think they’re brothers, it’s anything but that. Incest left and right.

Mom: What kind of nonsense-

My brother: Oh and one wants to be Sex Porn Star.

Me *shoving hand over my asshole of a brother’s mouth* It’s not like that. They’re really nice. They do their homework-

My brother: Their youngest failed his English exam.

Me: They’re modest-

My brother: Their computers get invested with viruses because they watch too much porn.

Me: They go to bed on time-

My brother: Two of them play videogames until five in the morning.

Me: They’re down to earth.

My brother: Their eldest thinks he’s worldwide handsome and once said his own mother cried when he was born because she could never be as beautiful as him.

Me: They’ll help you with the house chores-

My brother: One of them said he wants to be a rock in his next life so he could sleep and not do work.

Me: They’re very quiet and not noisy like-

My brother: They scream on the top of their lungs when they’re excited no matter what the setting.

Me: They’re super smart-

My brother: Once, during this interview, they were asked what their favourite American food was and one of them said Sprite. No joke.

Me: They dress well-

My brother: Did I mention this really short one stripped down at an award show to flash his abs?

Me: Mom, don’t listen to him! You’ll inherit a company-

My brother *snorting*: Yeah, a company that doesn’t equally distribute lines.

Mom: Get out of my room.

Mom: Get out of my room, right now.

Having a sibling is super weird because you’re constantly torn between “wow I can’t believe this is real oh man you’re a great sibling I really love and appreciate you” and “oh my fucking god I’m going to throw an axe at your face and commit homicide real soon if you don’t stop being so annoying I swear to god”

anonymous asked:

HEY ROHINI HIT ME WITH A COOL SCIENCE FACT

You have two humans, two individuals, who are going through a ritual. They are sitting at a table. They’re absolutely silent. They’re making no eye contact, and they do nothing more physically taxing than every now and then, one of them picks up their hand and moves a little piece of wood on the table. And if these happen to be the right two individuals in the middle of a chess grandmaster tournament, these people are maintaining blood pressure for six hours running that you only see in a marathon runner. These people are going through thousands of calories a day doing nothing more than thinking. (x)

dream daddy: tries to comment on the nature of dating sims by enticing you with joseph – a married man – and then making it so that you do not end up with him even if you play his route due to him being married, and then attempts to teach the player a lesson about how we need to think more/use real world reasoning when playing dating sims for whatever reason despite how they were the ones seeming to condone all the adulterous acts and made it seem like mary and him were in an unhealthy relationship (with mary assumedly cheating on him as well) that he needed to get out of for most of his route

doki doki literature club: comments on the nature of dating sims by escalating the entire genre up by about a 100 and taking it to the extreme, and then shows how your choices are ultimately pointless in the overall game due to how you literally have no control over it despite how you do make choices and play it multiple times – which is true for all dating sims, regardless of how they disguise it

【Japan Official Fanclub Magazine Vol.5】BTS My Biography – Jimin’s part  

The middle school student who loves dancing became a member of BTS

My earliest memory is when I was 4 – 5 years old (nominal age) and we were moving to a new property nearby where we lived at the time. I held the rice cooker’s inner pot and helped my family to move. When I was a child, I loved to go outside to play with my hyungs and friends in the neighborhood every day. We often played football and hide & seek. Once I ran too far away and even ran to the nearby town (laughs).

In primary school, I loved to play with my friends. During the breaks, we often played football. Although I really liked drawing, I hated coloring. My future dreams changed constantly every day, I wanted to become a chef when I watched a cooking anime. When I watched ‘Galaxy Express 999’, I wanted to become the Galaxy Express’ driver, and I wanted to become a pirate when I watched ‘One Piece’.

I have a very good relationship with my young brothers, who’s 2 years younger. Sometimes, we play games together at home, or watch movies. I remember that we watched the anime ‘Dragon Balls’ and the movie ‘The Host’. We’re just like friends.

I got along with everyone in middle school. Although there’re 6 classes in my school, I pretty much knew everyone. I joined the football and table tennis clubs at school, I was happy every day back then.

I became interested in dancing during the 2nd grade of middle school. I used to go to practice punctually after school, and I started to attend a dance academy in 2010. I was also happy in the dance academy. Whenever I had time, I would go practice dance. I’ve also participated in big performances, but I was really nervous. Actually, even now sometimes I still get nervous when I stand on the stage.

A year before graduating from middle school, I started to think about attending an arts high school. I couldn’t even concentrate on studying when I was in the self-study room, I was worrying about “which high school should I attend? what do I want to do in the future…” While I was contemplating, I thought about having a job where I could stand on the stage. So, Busan Arts High school became my target. In dance majors, I wanted to learn dances that’s modern so I chose contemporary dance as my major. During high school, I spared no effort in dancing. At the time, my friends and I only knew dancing, we got together and practiced, messed around and then continued to practice. During high school, I also had to deal with the dance academy’s workload, but I worried about the tuition fees so I said: “I won’t attend the dance academy anymore.” However, the teacher said: “Jimin, you can attend even if you don’t pay.” The teacher took so much care of me, I wanted to repay the teacher so I practiced even harder. I learnt a lot under the guidance of the teacher. I’ve never thought about giving up dance, not even once.

During spring 2012, my middle school dance teacher contacted me so I auditioned and got accepted, then I decided to go to Seoul in May. The first member I met was Hobi hyung. Hyung welcomed me and said, “let’s work hard together!” Other members also came to talk to me, it just reminded me of the time when I arrived, I went to eat with everyone in the canteen. The happiest moment during the trainee life was when we eat and play together. I still have the amusement park ticket that we went together, I still carry that around in my wallet. It’s because it was the first time and first place that all of our members went together to play. So, it’s engraved on my memory. I’ve been carrying that ticket for about 5 years.

In Seoul, I got transferred to the same school as Taehyung. I was in Class 4 but Taehyung was in Class 2, the whole school knew Taehyung. Because Taehyung has a lot of friends so when he came to my class, he said to the students, “be nice to Jimin!” I’m really shy with strangers, but I gradually got close to my classmates thanks to Taehyung.

The most difficult part of the trainee life was the uncertainty of my future. I got anxious when I hear “you might get eliminated this time”, so I wanted to do my best with practicing. If I practiced until 3, 4am, I would sleep a bit and go practice singing at 6am for an hour and then go to school. This routine continued for about a year. At the time, I’ve never thought I could become a member of BTS, but I was chosen as a substitute member. The hyungs said: “we want to debut with Jimin”, and that became my strength. The feeling of wanting to debut with these hyungs grew stronger.

I was so excited when we debuted. The memories of when we had the showcase, we received a cake from our fans for the first time, after the showcase BTS members and staff members all cried, we went on music shows the next day, and Jin hyung cried. No matter how long it has been, I can’t forget those memories.

I don’t have anything new that I want to challenge in the future, I just want to challenge and see how far I can go with the things I’m doing now. I’m also diligently learning Japanese because I want to speak Japanese fluently!

Trans: KIMMYYANG (from Chinese - blinglingGI)
V’s palm reading; Jimin; Suga; Rap MonsterJungkookJinJ-Hope
BTS Ranking Q1 - 8