this applies to any gender

I see a bunch of posts saying if your asexuality or aromanticism is caused or influenced by trauma or mental illness or neurodiversity or something, it’s still valid.

I see a lot of posts saying asexuality isn’t something that needs to be cured, that a-spec people aren’t broken and don’t need to be fixed. That people are naturally born this way.

I also see a ton of posts telling everyone it’s ok if their labels change, that sexuality is fluid and identifying as something different before or after or now doesn’t invalidate the person’s orientation at any point. That if it’s useful for the person now, they can use it.

But I don’t see a lot of posts, actually basically none, that actually address the point where those things intersect.

If your asexuality or aromanticism is caused or influenced by something, your orientation is valid, and it doesn’t mean you couldn’t have been a-spec without it. Maybe you were born this way, maybe you were made this way, but no matter how you got here, you are still a wonderful valid person.

You are not broken if you do not feel you are.

It is also completely OK for you to feel like you are.

If you feel your orientation is something that is only temporary, because of mental illness or trauma, and you had labels you identified as before and want to identify as them again, you are so valid.

It is ok for you to think something broke and for you to want to repair or mend it. If you have a bowl because the top part of a clay vase broke, it’s ok to want a vase again. Kintsukuroi creates beautiful art out of broken pottery people mended.

It is also so ok for you to feel like some part of you is broken, and to want to let it remain that way. You don’t have to fix it. People make mosaics out of broken glass, and they are far more beautiful than the beer bottles they came from.

It’s also ok to not know how you feel about it. To feel like some days there is nothing wrong with you and other days to feel that part of you is just shattered shards of something else.

No matter what, you are valid and your experiences and feelings about your orientation are valid.

anonymous asked:

im a cis girl and im kinda going through something like ?? internalized biphobia??? cuz i know im bi and ive accepted that all but now i actually like a guy and might even start dating him and so my brains just like "youre not lgbt anymore :^) youve never dated a girl u cant know ur actually bi" but i do know im bi???? i dont really know what to do

straight people know they’re straight even though they haven’t “tried it out” with any gender yet, right? so the same thing applies to bi people – you don’t need ~experience~ to know yourself.

10 Week Blog Project - week 10

Genderfluid 

One who is genderfluid can fluctuate between genders. Sometimes they identify as male, sometimes they identify as female, sometimes they identify as neither or both genders. This fluctuation can happen daily, weekly, monthly, etc. 

Common pronouns used by genderfluid people are they, them, and theirs. These pronouns are used because they do not imply any specific gender. However, this does not apply to everyone. Don’t be afraid to ask someone what their preferred pronouns are. Simply making an effort will be greatly appreciated. 

Sometimes this whole “if you don’t see this as gay you’re homophobic” mentality really irks me

Like, yes, sorry for being aromantic, and having to headcannon to get any semblance of representation   

Sorry for not being able to see anything as romantic unless its practically spelled out for me because I can’t relate to romance 

Sorry for thinking that strong relationships aren’t inherently romantic

rickanddestiny79-blog  asked:

What is the best zodiac sign compatibility for a Cancer female born June 23?

Note: I know this says female Cancer, but this is general and applies to any gender.

—————————————————————————————————-

I think Cancers and Capricorns go well together.

Both signs are family-oriented, fiercely loyal, and desire stability in all aspects of life. They are dependable and will always be there for each other. These signs take a long time to open up, so neither will grow impatient when the other does not show vulnerability immediately. Both signs like to spend time alone. Neither is particularly talkative, so they will be able to share both verbal and nonverbal communication. Cancer and Capricorn usually prefer tradition, which means that neither will want to have sex right away. They are both pessimistic.

Capricorn enjoys working hard and earning promotions, so if Cancer were to pursue a career in something less successful, Capricorn would likely be able to earn enough money for both of them to live happily together, so long as Cancer would give some kind of support as well.

Capricorn won’t mind if Cancer is clingy, as Capricorn can be possessive as well. Capricorn will want to protect Cancer, and Cancer will want to comfort Capricorn when they are feeling upset. These two will defend each other through the harshest of times.

Cancer can help Capricorn to realize that you don’t have to hide your emotions in order to stop yourself from getting hurt. Cancer could show Capricorn how to express emotions more easily. Cancer can also help Capricorn to be more creative, instead of just focusing on what they know.

Capricorn can help Cancer to think more rationally, and to put their emotions into something more productive.

EXTRA: Family Life

Capricorn enjoys working hard and earning promotions, so if Cancer were to pursue a career in something less successful, or decide not to pursue a career at all, Capricorn would likely be willing and able to earn enough money for both of them to live happily together, so long as Cancer would give some kind of support as well.

Also, Capricorn is usually more of a dominant person, while Cancer tends to be on the submissive side, so these two should be sexually compatible.

Capricorn is blunt and may give Cancer criticism that they think of as harsh. Capricorn can grow irritated by Cancer’s erratic emotions. These signs are likely to work hard in order to overcome these problems, and altogether these two can be truly happy together.

These are some of my girl rules when regarding and writing female characters:

  • Girls have authority. Show leaders that are female and show leaders that aren’t female taking advice from women and girls. Every other piece of media and the world around us is sure to impress that girls don’t have authority- we don’t need it in media we create.
  • Girls are subject to reality. There are enormous expectations on girls every day in every way, but our media tends to omit everything but an image of what girls ‘should’ be. For every beauty queen, there is their time spent and money devoted to makeup and clothes. For every lifestyle, there is the support of said lifestyle. Girls have homes, have chores, have jobs, have families, have triumphed, and have made mistakes. They pay understandable penalties for their actions, and enjoy success as applicable. They have a context just like male characters and we need to show it, because for some reason in much of our media girls seem to emerge from the ether fully formed, fit, toned, shaved, styled, with money in a wallet, super awesome karate powers, nice clothes– and no shown lifestyle or background to support it.
  • Girls defy gendered expectations. In light of the above, we also have to identify what actually isn’t 'reality,’ but society and what we feel is normal but is not set in stone. Girls can have any job and any background boys can, can look the same or have the same body type as any boy can, can perform any feat a boy can. There are female firefighters and female wrestlers and female loggers and female construction workers– and they are just as good at their jobs whether or not they have the same body type as their male peers. I don’t want to see any more women put on a cool crime fighting team and said 'well they can be the spy or the scout because women are smaller than the muscular men.’ Women don’t have to be small, spies can be large, and a small woman can use her body to achieve the same results as a male bruiser. The same goes with women in any other profession- what qualities aren’t actually reality, but are just our expectations?
  • Girls define themselves. In our culture, femininity is often perceived as a lack of, or a contrast to, masculinity– but this is a terrible idea and renders female characters dependant on male ones to have an identity. If a character says she’s a girl, no matter what she looks like, sounds like, seems like, she is a girl, and her traits are traits that belong to a girl. We can categorize traits as traditionally typical for cis males and cis females ('masculine’ and 'feminine’) but traits that belong to a character, are the property of that character. Girl power is just as much butch as it is hard femme. Girls define themselves, and are not to be defined by others.
  • Girls have agency. Girls want stuff, and girls get stuff. They aren’t along for the ride, or are just one of a set: they have their own strong opinions and motivations for their actions. They’re able to decide what they want and to change their situation without judgement or being thought of as 'inconvenient’ or 'a nuisance’ by others. If they need something, they should be allowed to seek it or ask for it or even demand it, without being considered a burden. Girls can say 'no’ to anything, at any time, and not have that be taken as a reflection of their worth, or an opinion to be persuaded.
  • Girls are not mysterious. There is nothing mystical or wondrous about femininity. It is an identity. Girls do not act in 'mysterious’ ways, there is no 'female intuition,’ and women are not 'impossible’ or 'unfathomable’ or more difficult than men are. When we respect the ideas, the feelings, the speech, and the motivations of others, these 'mysteries’ of women vanish entirely: a falsehood enforced by male privilege not understanding that women face different realities, implications, and social problems than men. We shouldn’t enforce a 'mysterious’ or 'mystical’ or 'special’ femininity in our media, either- women are half the human population, not puzzles or unicorns.
  • Girls are not tools. No plot should depend on someone being female. A female character can have something depend on her abilities (a cis woman’s ability to bear a child, for instance) but that says nothing about her femininity- no more than her ability to win a tournament or lead an army.
  • Girls are not limited in their interactions. Girls talk with girls about anything they want. Girls talk with boys about anything they want. Girls talk with anybody of any gender or lack thereof about anything they want. They are not merely conjured up when they have something only the designated girl can say, or when they plot demands girly things. There’s no reason for girls not to be present at all times, involved in any conversations nearby. They don’t go on a shelf while others are talking.
  • Girls are fun. They’re fun to be around, are interesting, are clever, are animated, and they have a lot to say that’s both meaningful and entertaining. Too often female characters and their arcs are more detailed, yet also more 'serious’ or 'tragic’ than the arcs of some of their peers. Often this seriousness has to do with a male character’s influence, arc, or demise. No thanks! 

Of course, these rules apply to any gender, and nongendered individuals too. But female characters are often denied these things in media that we both consume, and media we personally create. Coded cis male characters do these things constantly, at length. Non-males? Not so much.

EDIT: I forgot a rule. It’s here.

dungeonsdonuts  asked:

Best Lush products for man type dudes? Also just favourite Lush stuff in general? Asking for a friend who looks like me... >.>

Lush products don’t apply to any gender. They are for everyone. Everyone needs them. There are some “men’s” line stuff, but I don’t like guys smelling like musk or “stereotypical men”, so I dislike all of those. SO. HERE WE GO.

- I love bath bombs so much. They are my favorite, and all people who have access to a tub should use them. My favorites are Avobath, Fizzbanger, and Lava Lamp. I’m a big fan of all the holiday stuff too.

- For you, I’d say try Roots hair conditioner if frizz is an issue at any point. I personally use the R&B leave-in treatment conditioner, but I also have crazy lions mane bleached and dyed hair that needs it - my hair smells like heaven now. It’s very heavy though, so if you have thinner/finer hair, it’ll weigh it down hardcore.

- I have guy friends who swear by Kalamazoo for their face/beard care/cleaning regimen. It smells like citrus, which i’m way into.

- Karma Kreme is a great body lotion and smells sooooooo good.

- Go Faster Feet is a foot lotion that is incredible, smells wonderful, and doesn’t leave residue.

- Highly recommend the Imperialis face moisturizer for your skin type. I prefer Gorgeous, because I have crazy insane dry skin.

- GOOD FACE MASKS FOR EVERYONE: Cup o Coffee, Brazened Honey, Mask of Magnaminty

- Chocolate Lip Scrub. Get it. Get it. No excuse for dead skin on lips. Get it.

Akki Headcanon #1 [Cute Demon Crashers]

OKAY. I ORIGINALLY WASN’T GONNA POST ABOUT THIS.

But because of how many people I’ve seen gushing about Akki and how people seem to love Akki and all the characters in general. 

I thought I’d gush about Akki and a personal headcanon of mine, especially after seeing the-lord-of-the-pies‘ comic about traditional incubi/succubi being able to shift genders and their identifying as any varying form of gender identity and applying to CDC’s incubi/succubi, specifically Akki. 

I’ve also gushed about it a bit with starshine-robotics, theblondechippewa and a few others. But my headcanon of Trans Girl/Trans Woman Akki has been tickling me for a long while now. 

I want to preface this, if you didn’t already know, with saying that I am a trans woman who’s only been out for a few months now, and am finding out more rad things about myself and getting over some hard obstacles. It started as a headcanon to offset my dysphoria while recording back when I was having issues recording for male characters. But then I sat down thought about it a bit, and thought how cute it would be. 

- How cute it’d be to see Akki shyly come out to Claire and Mirari. And as Akki does this, they shift into a more feminine form, a succubi form. FREAKING OUT YET HAPPY AND EMBARASSED all based on the-lord-of-the-pies‘ comic.

- Akki, Claire, and Mirari, having cuddly sleepovers and playing with their hair, makeup, and other stuff ;D

- Shopping for cute clothes for Akki

- EVEN MORE PRECIOUS AKKI MOMENTS

- AND JUST SO SO MUCH MORE

I wanted to get this off my chest and I’m sorry if it came across poorly but gosh I love it. And love actor headcanons in general. I JUST HNNNGH

anonymous asked:

Hi, Z. Could you please give me some pointers for writing an agender character? Thank you so much!

Alright you little shits! Sit back and settle in while I guide your punk asses through writing agender characters!

Let’s start with the basics… what is agender? Agender is a term applied to folks who don’t identify with any gender! When a person is agender it means they do not have a gender, or in some cases, are gender-neutral. Because gender is a social construct and a psychological identity rather than a physical one, there are people out there who are one gender, multiple genders, or none of the above! There are tons of genders out there; man, woman, neutrois, agender, bigender, etc. etc. etc. All of them are radical as heck.

So, do agender people use pronouns like other genders do, you ask? Yes, and no! Pronouns are a personal thing so you’ll likely find tons of agender people who use them, and many who do not. Typically, agender people stick to genderless or gender-neutral pronouns such as they/them, ze/zir, e/eir, ve/ver, it/its, xe/xyr, etc. 

But always keep in mind that some agender people choose not to use pronouns, and only like being referred to by their name. 

But do agender folks experience dysphoria? Again, yes and no! Dysphoria is personal so you’ll stumble upon people who do and those who do not. Agender people experience dysphoria for numerous reasons, each one personal to the individual. Some reasons one person experiences it may not be the same reason other people do. 

Some things that might cause someone who is agender to experience/feel dysphoric are worrying about how they’re presenting, and being misgendered.

So now that we’ve got some basics out of the way, let’s dive into writing them.

What are some issues with agender characters you should be conscious of? Well, for starters, most agender characters tend to be either aliens, robots, or something of the sort. And even then, you typically won’t find them being addressed as agender within the piece of media. Or, if they do, you’ll hear about it once and have it never mentioned again, all the while other characters misgender said character(s). You’ll also, lots of the time, find other characters treating these characters as gross, weird, villainous, or you will see these characters placed as the literal villains/antagonists for the gender-having folk to triumph over/save/fix/etc. All of this is pretty iffy because it’s depicting a very narrow scope, a single story, of a character without a gender being yucky and in need of fixing. 

So don’t do that. Don’t do any of that. Just because your agender character doesn’t have a gender, doesn’t mean they lack feelings. Try to break away from that singular narrative of agender characters; make them human, make them good and bad, make them complex, diverse, and radical just like you do all your other characters.

Always remember to respect how a person, even a character, identifies. Within whatever setting your character is in, be aware of the good and the downside to their lack of gender because it is important. It will and does affect the lens with which they view their universe, in both big and small ways. 

Anyway, hopefully this post is remotely helpful, anon. Here’s some other resources that might be good to browse through!

If anyone has anymore to add, please feel free.

Uhg I just wish people would stop saying  “Frisk is nonbinary” because no, that’s not entirely true. You HEADCANON Frisk as nonbinary, but the character is meant to be a blank slate so that, while playing, the player can sink into Frisk’s roll easier. And using “they/them” pronouns are a way to make Frisk a neutral character so it could apply to ANY GENDER IDENTITY while playing. (this also applies to Toriel calling Frisk child, same with Papyrus and human.)

I understand where (some, not all) nonbinary people are coming from, I understand that people who are nb do not get enough representation in the mainstream media and Undertale offers more of that than anything else before. I understand that when people go and call Frisk he or she it feels like the person is misgendering the character, and, to an extension, yourself, because you sunk so deeply into the roll of that character. (a friend of mine brought up this point on Skype) But that does not give you a right to force your HEADCANONS down people’s throats. Frisk does not have any hard set gender identity, and this is done purposely because Frisk is not meant to actually be a character. Instead they’re a placeholder for the player to live the game through, like looking through a pair of binoculars.

And if you REALLY want a nb Undertale character that is part of the main cast and plays a role in the game, just look at Napstablook. But stop shoving the “Frisk is nb” headcanon into people’s faces and expect everyone to abide by it.

The Universal Pronouns Are Here

The Universal Pronouns(Ae/Om/Aer) do exist and have been defined as pronouns that apply to everyone who exists by virtue of said existence. It neither applies to nor references gender or any other identifying factor, only existence itself. The words, as defined, literally apply to everyone. This is not to say that other pronouns which do refer to identifying factors (such as gender) are invalid or should not be used if preferred, only that these pronouns can be used by people who choose to use them. Getting angry about these words is useless; they exist. If you do not like them, don’t use them. If you object to the chosen phonetics, make your own. No one is stopping you from making your own words. We certainly don’t care. We simply constructed a singular (not plural singular) set of pronouns that apply to everyone equally without having to reconjugate sentence structure to comform to plural language.

We literally don’t care that people dislike these words, and we literally don’t care why. You can choose not to use them. You can choose to replace them. You can choose to do whatever you want, but the words exist, they have been defined, and everyone is simply going to have to deal with it. We don’t care if nobody uses the words ever. All we did was coin, construct, and define them. Have a wonderful day.☺

Relationship Red Flags

So I recently finished reading Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That?” and he has a whole section on signs that a relationship/partner (since this list applies to any gender, but men are far and away the biggest abusers) might become abusive. He mentions that everyone should be taught these signs before they reach dating age and I agree, but school systems suck at this, so I’m putting his list (paraphrased by me) onto tumblr. Please share!

1) He speaks disrespectfully about his former partners

Note: Almost all accusations of abuse turn out to be true. Any previous accusations of abuse are a huge red flag!

2)He is disrespectful towards you, or puts you on a pedestal–either way, he fails to respect the real you as a human being

3)He does favors for you that you don’t want or puts on such a show of generosity that it makes you uncomfortable

4)He is controlling

5)He is possessive

6)Nothing is ever his fault

7)He is self-centered

8)He abuses drugs or alcohol (Note: substance abuse does not cause abuse, these are two separate problems that single person can have–Bancroft notes that there does not even seem to be a real correlation between the two)

9) He pressures you for sex

10)He gets serious too quickly about the relationship

11)He intimidates you when he is angry (gets too close, in your face, pushes, blocks your way, claims he’s “just trying to make you listen,” raises fist, shouts you down, makes you flinch, drives recklessly, makes threatening comments–ex; you don’t want to see me get REALLY angry–punches walls/kicks doors, throws things–anything that makes you feel fear)

12)He has double standards

13)He has negative attitudes towards women (even if–especially if–he says “You aren’t like OTHER women”)

14)He treats you differently around other people

15)He appears to be attracted to vulnerability (is drawn to women significantly younger than him, to women coming out of abusive childhoods/relationships, with poor health, suffered losses, the man paints himself as a rescuer)

anonymous asked:

Deadpool sex and dating HCs?

Gonna keep these gender neutral because DP is pan so these can apply to any gender identity :)

- having to spend months convincing him you really and truly love him before he shows you his face.
- spending hours after that convincing him that there’s nothing wrong with how he looks
- always carrying morphine in your backpack/purse in case he needs it
- months of having to pretend you don’t hear his nightmares until finally you have the courage to ask about them
- him breaking down and telling you everything
- you trying not to cry when you hear what he went through before he became Deadpool
- over-the-mask “Spider-Man” kisses
- taking warm baths together because the water soothes his burning skin
- cooking him food from scratch and him being amazed that you went to the effort
- cleaning bloodstains off his suit
- cleaning bloodstains off the floors
- and the furniture
- telling him to please keep his boots off the table when there’s blood on them
- him explaining he doesn’t actually like chimichangas, he just likes the word
- taco truck dates
- you threatening to punch anyone who looks at him funny when he’s not wearing his mask
- you getting used to mostly always being on top during sex
- being surprised with bear hugs and dorky gifts
- telling each other dumb jokes
- him beating anyone who hurts you or threatens you into the ground
- lots of slow, passionate sex
- sometimes rage-fuelled sex against a wall or in the shower
- shower sex in general
- lip bites whenever he kisses you
- you repairing his suit while he sleeps
- being constantly worried about him every time he goes out
- trying not to act like a huge sap whenever he comes back
- sexual innuendos in front of everyone. Even your mom. Especially in front of your mom.
- him being afraid to have/adopt children with you in case he’s a terrible parent or in case “he scares the kid”
- you reassuring him that he won’t, and that he’ll be a great dad
- constantly reassuring him
- having him constantly reassure you if you’re ND or mentally ill
- him thoroughly accepting your gender identity without question
- every so often, him taking time off from being Deadpool and just being himself, watching crappy movies and eating pizza with you.

@ian-has-a-nice-ass
@monniequinn

  • monster:
  • nice
  • monster boy:
  • NICE NIE NICE NICE
  • monSTER DAD:
  • 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
Legit Tip #146

In honor of Fifty Shades of Grey’s upcoming release, there’s something I would like to discuss here today. 

Dark Men in (Romantic) Fiction

The first, and absolutely the most important thing that I need to point out is that dark does not mean dangerous. Note that although I am discussing men in particular, the following can be applied to characters of any gender (though this is primarily focusing on romantic relationships). Now, moving on. 

One of the biggest failures of the Fifty Shades of Grey series (and other novels that attempt to create “dark, edgy” male romantic leads) is that the authors simply don’t know how to craft dark characters without making them problematic and, yes, absolutely dangerous. 

It is no secret that Christian Grey is a dangerous character. He compromises Ana’s safety both physically and mentally and, worse, the dangerous aspects of his character are romanticized within the text. He crosses the line at multiple points, ignoring Ana’s obvious discomfort to satisfy his own romantic and sexual needs.

That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with dark men in romantic fiction. There’s nothing wrong with crafting emotionally damaged or troubled characters. So how do you avoid “dangerous” when you’re going for “dark”?

The answer is simple - by crafting a character who is able to identify the problematic aspects of his own character and who is able to identify and respond to his partner’s needs. Regardless of who this character is, what he’s going through, or what he’s done in the past, unless you are actively trying to portray an unhealthy (or abusive) relationship he must take his partner’s feelings and thoughts into account when it comes to their relationship. And in situations where that character is unable to make healthy decisions regarding that relationship, either he (or she) must make the decision to create a healthy distance between them.

Dark does not mean threatening.

Dark does not mean emotionally manipulative. 

Dark does not mean dangerous. 

By all means, create dark characters. They’re interesting. But never let “dark” be an excuse for crafting unhealthy, abusive relationships. 

Dionysian Love

Ladies, gentleman and distinguished NBs, I present to you at long last: A term with which nonbinary people can accurately describe the nature of their attraction and romance.

I, personally, have struggled for a long time with my inability to describe my attraction which is neither heterosexual nor same-gender. I’m non-binary. None of my relationships, with people of any gender, are properly ‘heterosexual’. They’re not same-gender either though - what are the odds that I will date someone who is, like myself, an androgyne? I could date other NB people - but a bigender person isn’t my gender. An agender person isn’t my gender. 

My relationships end up being defined by how they are viewed by cishet people as ‘straight’ or ‘gay’. But even when I choose to define my love as gay, I am borrowing and repurposing that word from a binary I don’t belong to, and it fits awkwardly like a coat three times my size. 

So what is the nature of love between NB people? From NB people? For NB people? 

It’s Dionysian. 

From Dionysus, a patron god of gender variance, “Dionysian” applies to any romance or attraction that is neither heterosexual nor same-gender because one or more participants are non-binary. NB individuals who seek relationships with other NB people, whether exclusively or along with binary genders, are themselves Dionysian. Our love and attraction isn’t straight or gay - it’s Dionysian. 

Mod Virgil’s Comprehensive Guide to having inclusive and trans friendly language!

We get a lot of asks.

A LOT.  And I know a lot of them are asking for advice or education on a subject.  

And a lot are from people who are new to the trans community and so mistakes in language are made.

And it’s okay to make mistakes, but a lot of these mistakes end up being really transphobic and potentially triggering to other followers.  These mistakes, when left uncorrected, can also lead to spreading misinformation about how to properly phrase something in an inclusive way.  

So here are some phrases to avoid, why, and their alternatives:

I was born with -gender- parts - this implies that a sex characteristic, genitals, are binary(which excludes intersex people) and also implies that your genitals are a gender that is not yours.  Your genitals are your gender.  If you are agender you have agender parts. 

An alternative to this, if you need to mention genitals, is to just say the name of the genital or if you’re trying to talk about your assigned gender at birth(AGAB), then just say your assigned gender at birth

Example: I have a -genital- or I am AGAB(DGAB,CAGAB)

I am female/male bodied - similar to the above, this implies that bodies are gendered based on your AGAB.  They’re not.  Again, if you are agender then your body is an agender body. These phrases allow room to misgender someone, it’s not okay.

An alternative to this is just stating the features of your body, describe the body.  Because despite what society may try to tell you, your assigned gender at birth does not mean you or anyone else has the same body type as other people who were also assigned that gender. Also, if you feel the need, say your assigned gender at birth.

Example:  I have breasts and would like tips on binding.  I have broad shoulders.  I have wide/narrow hips.  I have excess or not much body hair. or I am AGAB and would like tips on -insert thing-

I was born a man/woman - again, same as above.  you are assigned a gender at birth, but you are the gender you are.  So if you are AFAB(assigned female at birth) but agender(i’m overusing this sorry) you are agender.  

An alternative to this is to just say AGAB

Biologically male/female - Same as the above.  The exact same.

I am/Someone is Female/Male-Identified - This needlessly separates trans women/men from cis women/men.  Trans women are women.  They do not identify as women, they are just women.  

An alternative is to just say the person’s gender.  If you want to specify whether you are trans or not, then say I am a trans woman/cis woman.  Do not do this for other people without their permission unless you are trying to get help/venting about cis people.  

Example: I am/Someone is a woman/man.  

Trans* - This is a pretty common one.  The root of the asterisk is transmisogynistic and came from DFAB trans people wanting more room to talk about their issues because they felt trans women were speaking too much.  It also further separates non-binary people from the Trans community.  Transgender IS the umbrella term.  It literally means not identifying with your assigned gender at birth.  There is literally no need for the asterisk. 

An alternative is to just say Trans or Transgender.  Stop using the damn asterisk.

Women and Trans women(or men and trans men) - You have no reason to separate the two.  Trans women are women and trans men are men.  If you are talking about your sexual preference and you say “I like women and trans women” you are not seeing trans women as women.  This goes for saying if your space is trans-friendly.  

An alternative to this is to just say men or women.  If it’s for a women’s safe space, due to the fact that A LOT(see also: almost all) of women’s spaces are NOT safe or inclusive of trans women, you can then say “This is a women’s space and is inclusive/trans-friendly/anti-transphobic”

People with vaginas/penises - I know, you’re trying. You really are with this one.  But this is used to commonly make assumptions about bodies and is actively transphobic.  “But how Mod Virgil? I’m not saying a gender!” I know.  But I see this commonly when talking about period, right?  Do you know that any set of genitals can experience a form of period?  Yeah, bet your sex-ed class didn’t teach you that.  Mine didn’t.  This also erases people who are intersex who may have ambiguous genitals.  And the broad generalizations it makes other than just with periods literally applies to any gender or type of genitals.

An alternative to this? talk about the actual thing.  If you wanna talk about periods, say “people who have periods”, it’s not that hard.  I have faith in you.


Eliminating cissexist language is a very long learning experience.  It takes time and effort and you will mess up.  And that’s okay.  What’s not okay is being complacent in this once you have the information.  So here is the information.

Go forth and prosper!

-Mod Virgil