this and *never ending story*

At the end of the world, nobody gives a damn about your mistakes
If I Say Goodbye

If I say goodbye—
remember my face
as I remember your gaze.
Forget not my voice
as we come to close.
Ink in your memory
how we started our story
because it might end
and never begin again.

If I say goodbye—
I will remember you
and our almost’s and too’s.
I will never forget,
nor will I ever regret
the tears we shared
and the memories we made.
And if I ever say goodbye,
it really is goodbye.


The saddest word in the English language is ‘almost’.
We were almost something great. Came so close I could taste the promises of forever. Life was cruel to tempt me with something I could never have.
We were almost happy. Came so close that I couldn’t tell my laughter apart from yours. It was just me though, you heard silence in between the laughs.
We were almost in love. Came so close that I could envision our entire future laid out in front of us. Turns out it was a dream. Or a nightmare. They’re closer than you think.
We almost made it. Came so close that in the days and months after I kept replaying the story of us. Obsessed with the idea that I could have said or done something more so that our story would never end.

10 things I’ve learned since he left.

1. drowning yourself in alcohol won’t distract you from missing him, in fact he becomes all you can focus on.

2. smoking every night just so you can fall asleep only makes you wake up wishing he was there.

3. becoming frustrated that you can’t stop thinking about him doesn’t help, it only makes you miss him more.

4. waiting for 11:11, making wishes on eyelashes, and blowing dandelions won’t bring him back. you don’t even believe in that shit.

5. fooling around with guys whose names you’ll never remember won’t make you forget his touch.

6. you’ve lost a friend but you still have the ones who will always be there for you.

7. overwhelming yourself with activities will only make you wish he was there for you to lean on.

8. reading through the messages you can’t delete doesn’t mean he’ll always be there. he’s gone.

9. distance isn’t the only factor in moving on, it takes time.

10. there is going to be a piece of you that will always love him.

—  ten things since my heart broke // excerpt from a book I’ll never write ( offdxys )

I’ve been reading a lot of the comments on Jeff’s confirmation of Symmetra being autistic and I wanna restate how important that letter is.

Since “A Better World” was released, people have bent over backwards to argue that Symmetra isn’t autistic. Some went so far as to say she was taking about the “light spectrum,” or the spectrum of visible light.

While autistic and neurodivergent people (myself included) knew what she was talking about right away, allistics and neurotypicals kept arguing she wasn’t.

Hearing “Symmetra is autistic” from Overwatch’s director himself means Symmetra *is* autistic. End of story. This isn’t an argument anymore. It never should’ve been, but now it definitely isn’t, and I appreciate that.

Would’ve it been better if it had been more clearly stated in the comic? Absolutely, but considering how rare autistic characters in video games are, I’ll take what I can get.

Matt said yes guys, what a surprise, wow.

(Oldest post is here, and here’s the first content for the ship. I don’t know who picked the name “Techienician”, please tell me if you know! I’d love to credit them here :D).

It started with a simple smile,
that reaches our eyes,
grew into a romantic kiss,
under the sea of stars,
Yet it ended up with tears,
and memories leaving
painful scars.

They say
happy endings
are real,
but maybe
it doesn’t involve
you and me.

—  ma.c.a //Us, From The Past
Each Person Who Died in Syria Today Has a Story We’ll Never Know: I Don’t Know How to End the War, But We Must Accept More Refugees

As I write this, the death toll from today’s sarin gas attack in Syria stands at 82, with dozens thought to be children. 

This is obscene. 

The world is forever scarred. 

Meanwhile, we have an administration that has twice tried to ban all Syrian refugees.

For six years, I’ve read all I can about the Syrian civil war and I know enough to know even top-tier military and diplomatic officials have different views on how the war can and should end. 

I don’t purport to have better answers. 

But I do know it’s morally paramount that we accept Syrian refugees, and that we accept even more than the Obama administration agreed to accept. As I understand, he had to fight the GOP Congress to agree to accept any Syrian refugees at all. 

This isn’t–or shouldn’t be–about partisanship, but about our shared humanity. 

When calling your elected representatives, discuss your views on Syrian refugees and remind them the U.S. has blood on our hands if we stand idly by.

‪everyone saying they’ve learned so much from 13 reasons, i have to ask, have you? honestly and truly ask yourselves if you’ve learned. are you even going to remember in two days or two weeks? or at school tomorrow? are you going to pretend youre better for a few hours to feel good and then turn your back again? a lot of people need help and theyre the people who get mocked for it. what if that person has a mental illness? are you going to be too afraid or “weirded out” by their symptoms? what if theyre not some “pretty girl” like Hannah? are you REALLY going to do anything? dont pretend youve had some eye opening experience, like an after school special, and then do nothing about it. not everyone who needs someone is going to be a Hannah Baker, and Hannah’s story shouldn’t be romanticized, or the only kind that matters. if you want to claim change, do something.

in the future, trading cards get made of the best exy players. neil buys every pack he sees until he collects all his friends. (collecting kevin’s feels like a completion to the binder he’s long since buried) (he mails matt his card with every letter he sends, because it makes him blush). he gives riko’s trading card to andrew to burn because that never gets old. he smiles every time he sees ‘andrew minyard’ on a card, but andrew likes to burn those too.

seeing the words ‘neil josten’ on a trading card, his history reduced to his achievements in exy, feels like the end of a story he never thought he’d get to tell. he keeps one above his desk in the apartment he shares with andrew and it’s another way to feel grounded. he exists. he’s real. this is real. and it’s good.