this actually means a lot to me because it's something i so truly believe but never had the words for

My interpretation of the MOON signs

(You could probs relate your sun if you want maybe even your rising)

Aries: they take up your life: being loud, leaving mess on the stairs, creating arguments out of thin air and always filling the void with their drama. Very self-centred but oblivious to it so I’ll let it be. Problems they hav always someone else’s fault. Very loving and cuddly and express passion easily. Never stick to hobbies after announcing that its there biggest passion n cant survive without it. Though, they don’t wait around for things to be handed to them - they are always up to something interesting. Independent.

Taurus: they are great to spill your words upon and never flinch when u say something deep or shocking so it makes u chill af cause they are…Most of the time…they can get angered when things aren’t as it should as they are very stubborn. don’t like people who aren’t committed to friendship or plans/dreams and dont like people who dont give their stuff back. Seemed to hav cows eyes: very deep n dreamy and long eyelashes -often brown eyes that i know of or watery blue eyes. lov food or other luxuries.

Gemini: childlike, like everything light hearted and humorous. there has to always be words to fill up the quiet spaces otherwise they start to get agitated. Dont like boring people and will blatantly walk off or something. Nervouusss people. Tapping all the time. When they’re in a goood mood they’re goofy but can become detached and cold and become a bit of a smart arse. Like knowing their shit.

Cancer: homely people. Warm and loving to fault as they are always let down by others who do not give the same warmth and pure emotions back. I think they could probably guilt trip u many times. emotions are not hidden which is good and bad because shots are firedddd and their words filled venom when there really cheesed off. Like lots of nice things. also love cute fluffy animals. Love their family to be always near - protective can become smothering. Talk about the ‘good old days’ 24/7.

Leo: why are you so posey and dramatic? They like to tell a tall tale - love to add bits to the truth to make it more exciting - which is actually interesting to hear tbh so good job :) they love to be centre of attention obvs. Also hold their heads high and always seem taller than actually are. Full of exuberance. & they often believe in their abilities so they achieve good grades and r smarttt!

Virgo: lovs when people do little silly things for them because they like when people are as detail orientated as them. expect too much of people becaus they do too much for others. Nervous but lowkey cause their earthiness sort of makes it hum in the background. Has potential to be shady. I love their organisation, chills me the f out. Some reason i feel they be really good at ASMR videos because of their voice & movements. and they r actually quite talkative but its usually nothing too intellectual or snobbish just good natter. Bites their nails!

Libra: i dont get them. They dont make an imposing impression on me as they’re delicate and not too in ya face. Loves knitted jumpers and wearing light colours Ive noticed. Sweet n gentle. Probs could get away with murder. Gets really into things like a celeb or tv series for a while. Has fan blogs probably. like to talk about things such as kpop, clothes, items in their neat pencil case and make up. Idkkk

Scorpio: protectivveee. Intense. Passionate about theirs hobbies and interests. Can become lost in their own intellectual, abstract world forgetting what is truly important until they realise and become regretful and then hold many unresolved grudges. They are e m o t i o n a l but try to hide it - constantly simmering and on the verge of erupting. Though they are quite interested in their own passion - they’ll hype u up about yours and talk for hours about theirs and your own dreams. Abstract knowledge that seems to appear out of no where when they speak -unconventionally smart.

Sagittarius: want to escape reality. Someone i used to know would read a lot of books - probs erotic - she also used her work as escapism? her husband wouldn’t take her on holiday:( another i know comes across very cool and full of knowledge and like to says corny things like ‘you might as well live your life to the fullest because you’ve only got one’. acts like a philosopher. Has gooood taste in music. knows everyone and can keep good relationships with all of them.

Capricorn: thinks they’re are funny af but peeps often laugh at their jokes cause they’re just a bit shit. Tries to come across cool 😎looking for a for job but isn’t working out lol. Wants fame n fortune. they love to talk deep and intellectual without getting too personal. probably quite lovey dovey but it is buried deep inside them. likes to keep it light by listening to music or watching the telly otherwise there thoughts overwhelm them. ( i hav cap moon so might look like a different viewpoint to the others moon signs)

Aquarius: loves to make a point that they are different lol. Intellectual af cause they really smart. Can talk for hours on end but still likes down time. they are the world’s friend but they only let a few know the real them (if thats is actually the real them ). Quirky sense of humour. Hav big dreams and most likely succeed in pursuing them. they are very open about weird stories and experiences they hav had which is fun to hear. will hav something to say about every topic on earth - love to share an opinion.

Pisces: too kind for their own good. They know your weaknesses/insecurities from first time you meet. i think they have melancholy spells which they find themselves in a trance - i catch them staring blankly quite a lot. Love to ask if you’re okay. Mooody. Let down by humanity. Very chatty and has of cool things to say. Music may rule their life - musically talented in one case ik (probs used as escapism). Can be burdened with very unsettling thoughts of not being good enough; making sure they keep there reputation for being the nice guy which means getting pushed about

MOON SIGNS

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A lot has been written on Moon signs.

These perspectives come from a Scorpio moon (in the Third House)

The understanding of each astral body deepens as you factor in what each works with or opposes. This is where it is crucial to see what else is creating discord or harmony with your moon. You are attempting to perceive the universe as a whole rather than isolating each individual part. Your sun and rising sign especially help to define what exactly your Moon is to your conscious mind. How you feel is not always what you present to others –something most people would agree on. The drives of the moon are not always easily understood by the intellect.

These are my experiences with each individual moon sign. I don’t have an equal amount of experience with each and so I apologise if some signs have longer write-ups than others.


ARIES MOON

Bold, yet child-like, yet anxious. Dramatic, explosive, quick and then bored. There is a wonderful sincerity and silliness about the Aries moon. They are the first to get up and boogie. I find many of the pains Aries moons carry very visible to me and I respect that vulnerability. I think it is part of what makes them direct. They play by fighting you. Imaginative and raw. I think of the archetypal anime protagonist gleaming a toothy grin and then fist-pumping in the air as we embark on a quest up Candy Mountain. They are social-spiritual pioneers. Sometimes, they don’t stand up to the people they should and take their anger out on those who don’t deserve it (ala ‘kick the cat’ syndrome). Sexually open and willing though the roles are traditional, primal. They can get quite down when their flame flickers out and the warmth fades. Their competitiveness can get the better of them and it can be hard for them to detach from their identity into a larger unified picture. However they are equipped with fantastic gusto and enough of it to make it up those mountains. They may see themselves as that youthful inner child however that image can become the justification for roaring anger – to protect the child.

TAURUS MOON

Oh, man.
I have an intense level of respect and also, to be frank, fear of the Taurus moon. I fear getting too close, and I think they do too (maybe that’s why I feel it) (hold on maybe they’re afraid of me?)

So yes of course they progress slowly, steadily, stubbornly, charmingly… With a silent and deep appreciation for the small pleasures in life. They are beautiful and frustrating. Wise and sometimes closed minded. Forgiving but not forgetful. I think the patterns and routines Taurus moon carves deeply can lead them to believing that people are limited or ‘they are who they are.’ It may seem like a safe thing to do but it inevitably leads to buried feelings that manifest as irritation. This is why they feel that magnetic attraction to their opposite, Scorpio, as buried feelings is what Scorpio specialises in. They need to be released!
If they do have transformative experiences with people, however, there is not much in the world they cannot accomplish. You don’t want the limits of your perception to become the balcony you lean over to judge others. Taurus moons are, regardless, unendingly kind, caring, generous and full of good humour with those they love truly. They do not seek outright praise, preferring the smilingly cheer you on from behind the scenes. They step into a nurturing authoritative role with ease because it is easier for them to do that than be on the receiving end. They do want both sides though. They understand boundaries instinctively.

GEMINI MOON

I wish I knew more Gemini moons!! I do not feel that qualified to comment as I have not gotten terribly close with one. I can only think of a few people I know with Gemini moons who will have to serve as my inspiration.
I am still grasping mutability (or not, you changeable bastards) and I imagine Gemini moons to have fervent mental chatter, a whole cast of different characters their radioheads tune into. 

The wittiness is always a go-go and I also do wonder if the 'identity crisis’ many astrologers report with Gemini could be more to do with conditioned language patterns Gemini is highly attuned to. Seeing as being overly identified with words and labels can trap you, Gemini dances between contradictions and in the in- between, wonders who the heck they are. But crises can purge and the truth is always what’s left behind.
There is a lot of restless energy here. Gemini’s curiosity is something they must accept in its entirety if they wish to wield it to its utmost potential. If only we were inside a simulation game, these guys would be the game masters for sure. Gemini moons may feel like keeping the dialogue internalised but actually they should share it. It is the way they will attain the peace and relaxation they crave. By communicating with meaning and truth –these are the lessons they must embody and bring to us all.

CANCER MOON

Ah yes the intuitive understanding of Cancer moon. Sensitive, headstrong and goofy they can swim in the natural affection they feel all around, breaking the ice and helping us all accept the sweetness of the moon, forever watching us at night. Their sacrifices (farts) are a blessing. Like Gemini moon, I have yet to get really deep with a Cancer moon but I know it would be powerful.
They have a contagious excitability and sincerity that will forever be taken advantage of if they do not learn to love and value the magicians they are. 

They must never slip into a Madonna/Whore complex or let purity be defined for them by others. Lucky that their intuition is always so on point. Expressing their anger in healthy ways that don’t perpetuate victim-centred scenarios is something they are learning. It is easy for Cancer moon to suck in aaaaall the bad vibes as water signs do. Don’t ignore your feelings and don’t be compliant, especially if you know you’ll regret it or backtrack it! Cancer moon’s energy is precious and magical. They do not always see the doors they open for people because they can get distracted by shitty thoughts or past emotional residue. Love you guys

LEO MOON 

Leo moons are insanely loveable, proud, gleeful, naughty, fun, dramatic, loyal… They are like a non-submissive Pokemon who wants to kick as much ass as possible with you. They are less forthcoming with their emotional issues, preferring to be a proud lion. Pride is a lonely cage though and isolation, especially for Leo moons, can lead to very depressed slumps. Ultimately though, all their lows help them appreciate comraraderie all the more. They dislike being ignored.

Leo moons are inventive and creative practically, they will really do it, not just say it. Their impulsiveness can get them into all kinds of trouble and even then they are so friendly and groovy that they can get away with it. Their hearts are powerful and when all is aligned they exude warmth followed by big headed claims and roaring laughter. 

They really are the party Kings and Queens of the zodiac because no one else will get so wrecked and hold it down so well and also still look like they had the best time ever. Their things are their treasures. A mere scarf becomes a robe, a daisy chain a crown. 

VIRGO MOON

There is a quiet (and somewhat bitter) determination to Virgo moons. They are aware of the bullshit in this world and make sure you know it too. Their kindness is not loud or showy but a quieter, understated recognition of all the work we do to help this Ferris wheel of a life be better for all. They are secure when they are in their homes or a place where they are understood for the dexterous work they do, whatever it may be. It has been said before but I will say it again: you Virgo moons are too hard on yourselves. Yes you must be brave, Virgo moon, and share your legitimate concerns when they arise. Once you feel accepted for your thoughtfulness, even if it’s a bit sharp, the pressure will be released. Don’t hold it all in, or you will suffer from nervous tension that can fester. They need to be wary of the preconceptions they bring into conversations that may have people thinking they are more closed minded than they really are. 
Virgo moons are a lot cooler than they give themselves credit for so let them know (though they will laugh it off). They need to be not stuck in their own heads. Analysing is fine but only if you already have material, a project or a relevant issue to use those powers on. Otherwise you are putting the needle right into your soul and it is destructive. Facing your fears and mistakes instead of hiding will open you up and others will finally get to see the very real and down to earth being that you are. I am very grateful for Virgo energy. Their conservativeness may polarise and they may get stressed but they are never ones to ignore good common sense or injustice. Their shyness and dirtiness reflect the contrary mutability they possess. Someone you can underestimate but will surprise you when they pull out  the perfectly sharp edge of the knife.  

LIBRA MOON

Libra moons are playful and intelligent; they quickly slide in golden nuggets of advice during a conversation, like their words are the lubricant to help everybody get along… And they do. A libra moon (or sun) who believes in love and in people can open up the mind of the most hardened  of cynics. It is essential that they make room however to have quality alone time. That way they will feel far more centred and their own person when interacting with others, instead of getting lost in a room of mirrors. They can be so nice and compliant that they can slowly lose their true sense of who they are and what they believe in as they care a lot about the wellbeing of everyone.  Only when they are unbalanced do they get defensively self righteous. Or block everything out. That said a Libra moon won’t go to bed after an argument – they really can’t tolerate the tension and would rather apologise and seek a peaceful resolution.

There is a very natural understanding here that the state of being people are in greatly affects the environment. Ideally though (see what I did there) they are cool, calm, collected, filled with balanced thoughts for us all and ever graceful. And pretty.
Conflicts and issues in relationships can shake them up so much that they may deny and avoid them for a long time. It can result in a lot of heaviness – and this sign wants to be light! Comfort, like with the also-Venus-ruled Taurus moon, can become the enemy if they are not doing work they truly believe in or are not supported by real friends who care for them. Most Libra moons wisen up to the limits of superficiality, as beautiful and interesting as some people/places may seem. They don’t want to waste beauty.
Libra moons are also awesomely progressive and they should share their great ideas with people who can help them manifest it all, or at least push them to. They can’t cope with being on one side of a fight unless there is extremely good reasoning behind their choice, the possibility of being bigoted really screws with their principles, which are essential to them. Bitching about people hurts them a lot because they want to be liked and for everyone to co exist peacefully. It may take a while to get close with them and they can flake out when it comes to routines and schedules but if you are patient they prove to be the most loyal of friends.

SCORPIO MOON

Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!! Why do we try to fix things by controlling them MORE??!?!?!?!? Scorpio moons need to learn, on as many different levels and in many different ways, to relax. For real. Surrender, as much as you can, to whatever the situation is, and let yourself relax. Whenever a Scorpio moon transforms though, everything changes. People are gob smacked by how low to how high a Scorpio moon can go. They think we must be utterly mad ;-) It is extremely difficult but extremely necessary for Scorpio moons to transmute and transform their emotions. Only then can we unleash our gifts. Otherwise, yes, we will become the villain in any given scenario (unless cap moon is on a rampage) 

okay so yes sex and death deeply changes the vibe in the room but is that all we want to be known for?? Not at all. Not at all. Scorpio moons must not numb themselves because then they are building and building and building up all the pain and gearing up for another destructive bender. It is far better to cry and scream and simply let yourself feel the pain. All the answers are in that pain. Don’t you forget it.
As always and with all signs, Scorpio moons are their own worst enemy. By not showing our emotions we create and perpetuate a MASSIVE LIE about WHO WE REALLY ARE. This is what I believe to be at the root of the notorious intolerance Scorpios have for lies. It is intolerable precisely because we are already experiencing lies on a soul level, lies that do not allow people to see our depth of feeling and understanding. Vicious cycles of lies that lead Scorpio moons to believe that by closing more people out or building taller walls, will be better for us. Note how close Scorpio is to Libra and the theme of relationships. Sometimes people need to see those flowers that bloom in the dark, when they’ve lost all hope.

 The sooner we can relax and reveal more of who we are the better– not only will people have a better idea of how to respond to us but ultimately those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter!
The more a Scorpio moon argues the more everyone in the room feels that painful non-acceptance of reality building tension. Such is our force. We are equipped to do incredible things and incredible never means easy.
Sex is not the sole route to intimacy and life does make that lesson torturous and clear. Scorpio moons can get very lonely and will push themselves to extremes when they are not accepting reality. The struggle to express our feelings, fear of vulnerability and other peoples wariness of us all plays into us thinking we are some long-living Gollum creatures. We are not. Believe that you are sexy. You don’t have to prove it to anybody but you. Power is knowing you already know. Yes the know-it-all controlling nature destroys all our relationships. It’s only because we are overdoing it. Pull back and let people impress you back! Take note of people’s discomfort and make changes in the moment to show you do feel it too. You do have a lot to share, don’t hide behind your pride. (And yes we do know when we are being lied to or if you are having sexual thoughts)

SAGITTARIUS MOON

My best friend since childhood has a Sagittarius moon. Intelligent, at times too cool for school, wild and loud and self-conscious- where do I begin? Sagittarius moons are righteous and don’t hold back on delivering the truth to your face. Their friends will think it’s the most hilarious thing ever and you will feel dumbbb. They are damn good at that, however if they are having internal struggles they will stir the pot just to stand up righteously, or wait for you to fuck up.
It’s understandable that many fall for Sagittarius moons – they’ve been there and done that and their sense of humour demonstrates that well. You want to impress them! Their open minds are a turn on, and I have found it to be true that they have a lot stories to tell surrounding cults, religions, specific groups and cultures of people… I can always see myself skydiving with a Sagittarius moon. They don’t do well with clingy people, but accepting that emotional attachment is a naturally occurring phenomena would help them.  

They need to work on staying humble in their hearts not just in words or in clothes or style– that is what led to the bountiful knowledge of the spirit in the first place. They can chase after the original high until they’ve burned down the path entirely. There is a cheeky, mysterious side to them that is sexy and their joy and gratitude is so vibrant it can reverberate right up your spine.

CAPRICORN MOON

I really love Capricorn moons, even though we likely roll our eyes at each other and really have no clue about the other at times. You can’t get away with everything, boss or not, and Saturn makes sure these people know that (eventually). They are industrious, ambitious with high expectations, professional, suave, aware of the 'audience’ and have great reserves of ancient knowledge stored in their laughter and often pained expressions. 

Capricorn moons, surprise surprise, are really hard on themselves, like Virgo but with far more whiplash. They keep it under wraps. They need to be careful they don’t get crushed by the weight of the burdens they carry…and maybe to remember too that those burdens may in fact be wings they have yet to unfold and fly with. Shrewd and covertly manipulative, they can bring out the criminal in people, yet at the same time their logically intuitive judgement is there, watching you make an ass of yourself. They don’t always share their shady observations, but should with confidence, not anger, because they make a lot of really great points the right people don’t get to hear. Their realistic feedback could serve to really improve a myriad of issues. 

Capricorn moons are great at working the system (that includes within a family system) but need to remember not to become slaves to that system and cold to everyone else. That system could be based on lies or agendas that don’t factor in their personal success at all. Luckily as soon as they know that they will dump anything that is holding them back. Their feelings are private and reserved only for them, and if you’re lucky and earned their trust consistently, you too. They know how to work you into a state of compromise.

AQUARIUS MOON

I go through periods of being intensely fascinated by Aquarius moons and then I dismiss them. This may be a mutual thing between us. They really are ahead of everybody though (and slow to admit they care!) and they do know what they’re talking about. Try not to always believe everything they say, as they need to be pushed to be the best messengers they can be. Otherwise it comes a predictable Gaslighting exercise, sorry to say it.

Their emotional detachment can get in the way of people engaging on a real level with them and of course their own ego. The gifts they do bring are life changing but hence the struggle. The pride of being an original, of giving no fucks, of going anywhere and everywhere, of laughing at the aliens in your mirror… This is the Aquarian. However as the moon is much more internal people may not realise how weird and zany those with an Aquarius moon are, and they may hold themselves back socially..and then erupt into a nutty character when they’re drunk. They work hard to maintain objectivity and a logical mind state, though the bellows of emotion from others can send them back into their rooms for a while. They may struggle to deal with one on one interactions for extended periods of time, preferring to thrive in a group where they can disperse their knowledge through vivid storytelling or in juicy snippets.
Aquarius moons far reaching perspective does make them a boss, but the fear of getting 'too close’ can really stop them reaching out. I know it’s crazy to say to them that not all emotions were manufactured by Disney but it’s true. It is the fear ITSELF that warps their visions, not experiencing intimacy. It would really help them express their natural eccentricities a lot more if they could dare to go there, don’t hide out in space! It is true that in some of my darkest times I have been inspired by an Aquarius moon, or they have simply pointed to all the space above us and smiled, because with so much space how you can get caught up in such pettiness?
Anyway they are lovely souls and friends, their intelligence is anchored in carefully thought out principles and they will still listen to you before disagreeing! Hahaha

PISCES MOON

With all water moons it is important that they stand up for themselves before they feel violated by too aggressive people. Such is true for the Pisces moon. They are natural space cadets, dreamy, creative, musical, impressionable and empathetic. They also give no fucks about current fads and trends that enslave people in time. They are not ones for tedious, high pressure work with no creative or tangible productive merit (and fair enough too). There is far beyond all of that and they know it.
What they aren’t always aware of though is how powerful their empathy is, how strongly people feel understood by them to the point where people will unleash their demons on them because they think it’s okay–Pisces moon will understand, right? Wrong, it’s never cool to abuse people like that and we should aim to get more on their level rather than pull them down to ours.
Pisces moon needs a consistently peaceful and chilled out environment where they feel they can creatively nourish themselves without getting dragged into any of the preceeding 11 moon signs’ drama. They are wise in that they know how closed off people can be whilst still having a heart.

Professor Kwon: Chapter III

Genre: Teacher AU, Smut, Fluff, Angst.

Word Count: 3,460

Chapter: 3/?

Pairing: G-Dragon x Reader

Warnings: Once again, there won’t be any until like the 4th chapter ;)) Please hold on until then bbs.

Originally posted by fantastic--babies

“You know Y/N, I must admit you’re improving. It appears my warning has gotten through that dull head of yours”, Mr. Kwon paced back and forth slowly in front of my desk as he spoke.

“With all due respect sir, I do believe my head is not dull and that I am improving at my own will. Not because you told me to do so,” I bit back.

Bang!

Suddenly, Mr. Kwon’s hands slammed down on the surface of the wooden desk. His body lurched forward slightly and his gaze captured my own.

“What? Just because you wrote one decent paper, you think you have the power to question my authority?” he glowered at me and I shivered with a sickening mixture of anger and annoyance. “You will have to do a lot more than whine about your autonomy before I think of you as anything more than a subpar student”.

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Distractions

Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt. 4 || Pt. 5 || Pt. 6 || Pt. 7 || Pt. 8 || Pt.9 || Pt. 10 || Pt. 11

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: You were always there for him. You cheered him on, supported him, but apparently, you were just a distraction.

Word Count: 1548

Originally posted by bwiseoks

“I’m sorry” were the last words you could ever remember him telling you. 

That day you were so fired up with feelings of anticipation and excitement; it was only a few days before your boyfriend was to debut after all. For as long as you could remember, music always had such a strong grasp on Yoongi’s heart. He practically breathed music, hell he probably was made of music itself. 

You had always known about how his parents didn’t take too kindly of his passion for music, but you had always been there for him. You, along with his older brother, were the only support he had until he auditioned for an entertainment company called BigHit. Although he placed second in his audition, he still managed to grab a spot as a trainee. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration if you were to claim that you were beyond ecstatic. You were practically bouncing off the walls when Yoongi had told you that he had made it. 

You both knew what it meant for your relationship when he became a trainee. He had to work hard and spend most of his time moving towards his dream. This meant less time spent with you, but you knew how much this meant to him. You loved him so much that you prepared yourself for the lack of dates, the lack of communication, the lack of affection shown towards one another. You prepared yourself because you wanted him to fulfil his dream, even if it meant putting a strain on your relationship. 

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anonymous asked:

I don't want to bother you or stress you out if you're super busy, but can I request a Soulmate AU fic with Reader and Loki? I don't really have any specific plot ideas sorry but maybe some angst that ends fluffy? Hope that's ok for you 😊 Ps. You're an incredible writer x

Pairing: Loki x Reader
Fandom: MCU
Warnings: Soulmate!AU in which you get the same injuries as your soulmate does.

A/N: thank you so much for that compliment, my love! I have to be honest, I was a little worried about this prompt, because I’m pretty much a grandma when it comes to soulmate AU’s. I literally just know a single one and I didn’t like that with loki and reader, but then I stumbled across this one and I just fell in love with it and yes, I’ll stop talking now lol. hope you like it bb <333

                                                          *****

You made your rounds through the compound right now, wishing everyone well in the fight against Thanos.

You were a scientist, not a soldier, so you had to stay put in the compound while some of your best friends might give their life today.

It was tearing you apart that you couldn’t do much more than wish them luck.

The last person on your list to make your farewells to was Loki.

He was standing in front of a giant window, distracted by the outside world.

You slowly approached him and gently placed a hand on his arm, trying not to startle him. If it was even possible to startle an Asgardian god.

“Loki?”

He continued to look out of the window.

“It’s about to start.”

“Yeah. I know,” you lowered your hand and looked outside as well. After a moment of silence you looked at him again. “Promise me to be careful?”

The Asgardian only smiled a little. But it wasn’t a sincere one. You could tell right away.

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Strike A Deal | Part 14

Pairing: VIXX Ravi x Reader

Genre: Fantasy/Mythology/Hades! AU

Summary:  When he catches you in his trap, what else can you do but make a deal with the King of the Underworld? 

Author’s Note: Finally found it! Also, Chloris is a goddess of Nature. There’s still a bit more of Strike A Deal after this chapter, so hang tight! Enjoy! ^^ 

Read more:Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13


“All you have to do is look me in the eyes and tell me you never want to see me again and I will never return to your sight again.”

You watched as he turned away, shoulders slumped in assumed defeat. Maybe you’d listen to your heart that was yearning to give in…

“Ravi…“ you called his name softly.

He turned toward you, his expression blank not wanting to let his hopes get too high only to have them torn to shreds.

You picked up the ends of your dress once again, your sandal covered feet pounding against the soft grass as you ran to him. You dropped your grip on your dress, wrapping your arms firmly around his neck.

Your lips sealing to his in a kiss.

It took him a split second to realise what happened. You had the desire to kiss him, you actually wanted him close to you. As if a switch flipped, you were wrapped in his arms and he was kissing you back. His soft lips pressed against yours with such gentle passion, you could feel yourself melting into him. He pulled away looking deeply into your eyes, he was in utter disbelief that you, his goddess, wanted him too.

“Is this what you want?” He paused, “Are you absolutely certain… that I am what you want? A man that can only offer you his heart and a kingdom of darkness.”

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anonymous asked:

Can we also talk about how Bakugou went from "weird haired guy" to "Kirishima. Change of plans". Oh man I didn't realize how much I missed the anime *cries*

BOI CAN’T WE I just spent the whole morning crying over seeing the moment Bakugou recognizes Kirishima as an equal animated nbd at all r i p me - I think this might be the first time Bakugou calls anyone by their name, actually, and I just!!! that’s because Bakugou heard Kirishima’s words and recognized him as a good partner and a worthy hero and someone whom he could respect and I’m gonna be grateful for chapter 133 for the insight on this for the rest of my always I !!!!!! have feelings g a h

Anon said: ok ok ok ok but but listen what about BAKGOU AND OCHAKO they are the most popular couple and the most cutest , i think you should try to draw them once i would love love to see this !!! of course just if you want hehe thanx

Ahhh sorry anon but I really don’t ship that - I mean, it’s true that I ship Bakugou with a bunch of people aside from my main two, but if they’re part of Deku’s group you can fairly assume they’re not between my Bakugou ships? And I only romantically ship Uraraka with Deku, Tsuyu and Iida anyway so! You’re probably not gonna see any romantic baku/ocha from me, sorry o<-<

Anon said: Since we know what Bakugou’s parents are like, what do you think Kirishima’s parents are like?

I have a similar ask somewhere asking about Kaminari’s parents as well, so I guess I’ll answer both here?? As a general rule I don’t really like making headcanons over stuff I’m sure the manga will give me in the future, so I can’t say I’ve thought about this too much - there are a few things I work under the assumption of while drawing, like for example I’m taking for granted they both have at least functional families, considering Aizawa personally visited their homes to ask their guardians about allowing them back to school, and if anything had been weird he would have noticed

I like to think Kaminari got his quirk straight from one of his two parents with no mixing happening, and got the Kaminari surname from them as well, but that’s all I ever allowed myself to settle on as far as Kami’s family goes, everything else changes based on what I need for the current scenario I’m thinking about… I do often end back on him being an only child, though - in the same way depending on how angst or lighthearted I want it to be my ideas for Kirishima’s family change a lot, but generally I think I mostly fall back on the idea of him having a big family? In a scenario like that his parents are kind and love him a lot, but having many children and needing to split their attention on all of them might cause them to overlook him a little (it would explain his obsession with being flashy, for me) then again, who knows? I don’t know how canon you can consider the infos SMASH gives, but in one of the strips Kiri mentions working part-time, and the fact that he doesn’t seem to have problems with money kinda makes me believe he might be independent from his family like that (unless he’s a rich kid, also very entertaining as a possiblity)

I’ve seen a lot of headcanons floating around about both of these guys’ families and possibly being related to villains, that would be cool too, though I’m not sure how much I believe it

I’m sorry this ended up being little to no useful at all lol as I said, I just shift between scenarios a lot - imagine settling on one and growing attached and then having to let it go once Hori proves it wrong, that’d be terrible for me

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Writers Creed Interviews: @definegodliness

Check out our second Writers Creed “Get to Know a Writer” Interview! For our second interview, we had the privilege of interviewing @definegodliness from the Netherlands. We’ve had a great time learning about what not to call him unless he’s in love with you, his writing inspirations, his past and what led him to be the writer that we have all come to love. We hope you enjoy getting to know one of your fellow writers on Tumblr. Thank you for being a part of this Mark! ❤

Writers Creed: So Mark, do you have any nicknames?
Mark: Never really had a nickname, nor have I desired to have one really. My friends usually call me by my last name, so I am very used to that. Come to think of it, only people really close to me call me Mark. I have a love/hate relationship with my own name. Which is probably why I always use M.A. Tempels as a signature. (I absolutely loathe ‘Marky’, and only if I am absolutely head over heels in love with you I will allow you to use that haha)
WC: People close to you and Tumblr it seems call you Mark haha. *notes: Marky is off limits* So should we stick to Mark? Or would you prefer something else?
M: Oh yeah sure, Mark is fine!
WC: Sounds good. So onto the first real writing question, what got you into writing?
M: Well, writing was the first thing I excelled at in elementary school, which is where my fondness for words, diction, proverbs, sayings and language overall originated. I’ve always felt that the bigger one’s vocabulary is, the easier it is to express and convey thoughts and emotions. Perhaps it is part of the desire to be seen and understood I had as a kid. I wrote and read a lot, until I was about fifteen. Then my interests shifted, as I did not believe I could ever become an author. So I stopped completely. In hindsight a bad decision, because the words kept piling up in my head, quite literally driving me crazy. Anyway, when I was about twenty-three I met a girl that I loved so much the words just started pouring out of me. In love letters, hidden notes, and texts. I started writing poetry, automatically. Returning to the sensitive kid I was and had forcefully shunned in my adolescent years. Emotions make you vulnerable, you see, and I wanted to be stoic. Cool. However, you can’t keep your cool when you love so deeply. We started writing a book together and ever since then I have been writing again. Thanks to that girl, my writer-self returned, and I still consider it a great gift. It is, and always has been, who I am. It feels good to know your role in life and to have purpose.
WC: That was such a beautiful answer, I love it. And I think we can all be grateful for that girl if she’s the one that returned your writer-self. And all of us writers are a bit crazy are we not?
M:Hahaha thank you. Everybody’s crazy, artists just use their trade to express it. Honestly, I have yet to meet a person that is completely sane.
WC: Haha true that. What happened to that book you and that girl started writing?
M: The book is still unfinished, though there are many chapters, characters and scenes already completed. In raw material, I dare say there already is an entire book. Every now and then I resume writing it, but this takes an immense toll on me, emotionally. It is very much revisiting the time I was so blissfully in love, and this inevitably leads to revisiting the hurt of loss. Then I get mournful, and filled with remorse. It always ends in tears; I had it all and I threw it all away. Even now I find it difficult to think of the time when we first wrote that book. Which is a pity, and foolish, because it truly was the happiest time in my life. I wish I could just appreciate that as it is, and look back with a thankful smile for having experienced it. I guess we all have our flaws; I am still learning.
WC: This is all very moving. We are always still learning. May I ask what happened?
M: The thing is, when you experience depression for the first time, it takes a long while of constantly thinking ‘what is wrong with me?’ You’re forcing yourself to man up; get really self-critical, because everything you normally do takes more energy. Well, robs it really. Then, the lethargy sets in and you deem yourself lazy and useless. All the while you’re in a downwards spiral, until the inevitable point of breaking. Then, with your pride and self-worth at its lowest point, you finally face the facts that you cannot do this alone and seek help. In my case, a psychologist patched me back up and I was ready to go and take on the world again. I’ve learned a lot during that time. Stopped studying Psychology, and started studying Journalism as it was more creative, and I needed to express. What I didn’t know back then is that I hadn’t dealt with an episode of depression, but that I was actually dealing with a chronic depression. So during the relationship, I felt myself going down the negative spiral again, but I didn’t know how and if I should handle it. I mean, we all get sad sometimes, but you make it through the day and the next morning you feel better. And that is what got me: for far too long I kept hoping to feel better the next morning. Then, when you do realize you are depressed, how do you tell it to the woman you love and whom makes you happier than you have ever been? I kept it all a secret. Afraid to lose her, basically. Wondering who’d want a life-sentence with a chronically depressed person. And this why I am telling this, keeping it secret, and trying to be/act 'normal; fighting(!) the depression, only made it worse and eventually lead to our breaking up. With all the knowledge I have now, I do know I would have acted differently. If we would have stayed together, of course, is a different story. Voila
WC: Wow. I may or may not be tearing up right now. I’m sorry about that :(
M: Here’s to hoping someone who needs to hear it will read it, and not make the same mistakes as I did.
WC:  Making mistakes is part of life, it’s how we learn and grow. But yes if you can learn from someone else’s mistakes is also good haha. Alright, now for the next question, what would you say you write about most? What inspires you most?
M: Love is predominant in my writing, because I have a big heart and often want to channel all that is good in me. Besides, most subjects to write about are fleeting, yet love is a thing of all times. To me, it is a touch of the eternal; something inside me that is grander than existence. What inspires me most are memories, usually they are strong emotions felt but never expressed. Through my writing I try to free them from being locked up inside me, which makes me feel lighter and far more balanced. It is kind of a thought palace being decluttered so I can move around freely again.
WC: Lovely answer. And I think you touched upon a bit on what my next question would have been, what writing means to you.
M: Purpose. As a life well lived is a life spent in exploring and making full use of one’s qualities. There is also a somewhat holistic motive here, the deep-rooted desire to be the best version of oneself as a part of the whole human experience. That on my death bed I might say, “I was never perfect, but I was the best version of me.” Regarding existential crises, writing gave me peace for that reason. Then there is the simple childlike excitement I feel when finding new words, or finally getting that sentence right that had been bugging me. Writing is exciting and makes me feel alive. Lastly, there is the therapeutic benefit; the release of ongoing thoughts and emotions, offering a sense of stability. So there you have it, to me writing means: purpose, excitement, and sanity.
WC: I think these are all great points you bring and many that people will be to relate to I am sure. When did you start writing in English?
M: Around April 2015? Little after I started having a tumblr. I believe I started with random contemplations, mostly about life. Giving purpose to a lifetime spent mostly in deep thought. This slowly evolved into poetry. I remember I was so shy and insecure about my usage of the English language back then, and even now I am still learning. But I love learning new words, that is actually why I write a lot of form poetry; when you force yourself to rhyme or limit yourself to a certain amount of syllables, the dictionary and thesaurus become your best friend.
WC:I totally agree with learning new words, such a good thing for anyone, especially for a writer. So before that you wrote only in your language?
M: Yes, and never poetry. Well, not consciously, I mean. In hindsight I did write love poems to my then girlfriend before that
WC: That’s really cute, love how the mind works haha. Ok, next question: Did anything interesting or bizarre happen to you because of writing? Like any cool stories related to the fact that you write?
M: Above all writing has given me the opportunity to come in contact with a vast array of sensitive, creative people; curious, open-minded, and intelligent souls, really. Which has lead to marvelous philosophical conversations about life, love, empathy, and the esoteric wonders of being. As often with like-minded souls, the connection within the conversation is so strong that it becomes almost tangible. Which is remarkable and an interesting subject to explore in itself. Speaking of like-minded souls: of course the most wonderful and exciting that has happened is that I have met my girlfriend Kristina through writing on here. After all, if I had never picked up writing, especially in English, I would have never met her. And what are the odds that a Dutch guy suddenly decides to write poetry, and in English as well… and on Tumblr of all places! But we found each other, and as a writer, I am blessed to have a partner that understands creative processes. That the poet and the person can operate entirely independent, and are not to be mistaken for each other. I believe people often forget this: how you write doesn’t depict who you are. Emotions aren’t literal, and words are but a limited vessel to convey their intricacy. What I try to achieve with my poetry is to either express how I feel, or (like I said before) because I want to channel all that is good and loving in me.
WC: Your answers are always spot on! Tell us a fun fact about you before we finish this interview.
M: I love doing impersonations, or rather make up characters and I am quite good at it! My natural voice is quite low, but I can bend it to reach many different pitches. I also very much like doing different accents. My favourite one right now is 'the pretentious, overly dramatic poet’. I love starting dread filled sentences with an exaggerated prolonged “oh”. I also can whistle melodically in four different ways; normal, two different ways through my teeth, and one using both of my thumbs. The sense of accomplishment when I first learned to whistle as a kid is one of my earliest memories. Et voila!
WC: Hahaha amazing! 👏👏👏Thank you for doing it!
M: I had fun!

Believer

Otayuri Week 2017: Day 2

Prompt: Social Media or Celebrations

read on ao3

The picture has 214,783 likes on Instagram, now.

Otabek doesn’t know much about social media, but he’s pretty sure that’s a lot to receive within two hours of posting.

It’s a pretty boring picture, all things considered. Just Otabek sitting in a booth at a cafe, facing the camera. His head rests on his right hand, and the fingers of his other hand are joined with those of the photographer, whom everyone knows to be Yuri himself.

All in all, a fairly standard post on Yuri’s Instagram.

Except for the rings, of course.

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OK I know I said I wanted to keep reading more than I wanted to flip out on tumblr rn, but fuck it.

Worm is a good story, it’s a great story - but even more than that, it’s effective.

[Cut for moderate spoilers regarding Taylor’s characterization, and the overall worldbuilding. Also, vague discussion of general people-being-horrible sorts of things, but… yeah, this is Worm I’m rambling about here.]

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4x04 Personal Highlights

So I know that there has been a lot of negativity surrounding this past episode, but I would like to point out that it was far from being all bad and I would say it was a hell of a lot better than episode four from LAST season (aka. my least favourite episode of this show, ever) there was actually some good shit buried in this episode that I would like to address.

Never too much positivity, right fam?

Okay, I’ll get to it.

1. “Bellamy should be back by now.”

I mean, it’s self-explanatory. Even the C/exa queen is writing us some Bellarke shit .. hmm, I wonder why? Maybe cause she has to? Maybe cause Bellarke is becoming canon? Huh, weird.

2. Monty being a total babe and trying to comfort Clarke

It only serves to make the absence of his name on The List that much more painful, but I love seeing Monty trying to cheer Clarke up. He’s such a beacon of light. @the-ships-to-rule-them-all and @abazethe100 talked on their podcast about how its not just Monty’s brain and skills that make him invaluable, but who he is at his core - a source of optimism and support. He holds people together. I thought it was worth mentioning because @theskyboxpodcast is always good, but I especially loved that bit.

3. Devon’s acting

The writers truly could not have picked a better actor to play Jasper. He kills it, over and over and over again. Devon is the perfect mix of humour and tragedy that makes Jasper so heartbreaking and unique. He brings life to this character in a way that few actors could. That scene in the rain perfectly demonstrates this.

(UNRELATED: I’d love to see how Jaha was managing out on that lake when he heard about the acid fog. The possibilities are never-endingly humourous.)

4. Kane calling out Octavia

This scene was soooo validating because its the first time that Octavia’s actions have TRULY been called out. And it wasn’t just a brief call-out, it was an entire lengthy scene dedicated to why Octavia’s actions are NOT being supported by the narrative and are NOT right or honourable. 

“A warrior knows when not to kill. Lincoln taught you that. You seem to have forgotten.”

FINALLY RECOGNITION THAT A WOMEN WITH A SWORD IS NOT ALWAYS BADASS AND EMPOWERING. IT TAKES MORE THAN THAT. IT TAKES HONOUR

And to those of you who were screaming about Octavia never dealing with the consequences of her actions after … what? 4x02? YOU COULDN’T WAIT TWO EPISODES??? WHY DO YOU JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS WHY DO YOU TORTURE YOURSELVES? Short rant concluded. This was a top-knotch scene. 

5. LUNA

She is so gorgeous and her voice is so soothing. She makes every episode better just be existing.

6. THE ISLAND IS SO COOL

I’M SO GLAD THAT ALIE’S MANSION IS NOT THE ONLY THING WE GET TO SEE OF THIS ISLAND. THE WHOLE INTRIGUE SURROUNDING BECCA AND HER LAB AND THE DRONES AND THE “MUTANT LINE” AND THE MYSTERIOUS THINGS THAT ALIE’S SECURITY IS “PROTECTING” THEM FROM IS SO INTERESTING AND ITS SO DIFFERENT FROM ANYTHING THIS SHOW HAS DONE BEFORE AND BOY AM I EXCITED TO FIND OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THIS STORYLINE. AND ALSO I, AND A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE, TOTALLY PREDICTED THAT THEY WERE HEADED BACK TO ALIE’S ISLAND TO FIND A LAB OF SOME SORT BACK IN THE HIATUS SO GOOD-WORK TEAM. NOTHING GETS PAST THIS FANDOM, I SWEAR.

7. Jackson being a total babe and helping out Raven this episode/showing compassion and concern

So I’ve seen people shipping it and I am … oddly, not opposed??? I mean, he’s sweet and that banter was nice and he’s a doctor which means he’s probs smart and also can help her out with her pain (kinda) and it will never happen but I CAN DREAM OKAY? 

Also, Jackson is Jackson’s only name. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules. You will never hear me referring to Jackson by any other name. #dealwithit

8. “Save us all” sounds like “keep us all clean” in Trigadesleng because apparently Grounders know their priorities

I guess this explains why L.exa had that deep conditioned shit last season while Clarke was progressing through her slow but steady evolution into a dirty mop

9. “I’ve never met a line I wouldn’t cross.”

Richard you get the best lines. And you slay them every time.

10. MURPHY AND RAVEN’S DYMAMIC

I’M SO EXCITED. Lindsey and Richard are both a thrill to watch and they’re both so sassy and their history is just … WOW. They haven’t had many scenes together ever since that KILLER scene in the dropship where we learned Murphy’s backstory which is a total crime because THEIR CHEMISTRY SERIOUSLY FLIES THROUGH THE ROOF.

I do think Murphy was trying to get on Raven’s good side when he grabbed her and helped her to safety and it was definitely for his personal motives, but I do also believe that a large part of him wanted to do it as an attempt to make up for fucking up her life so bad as well. It’s such an interesting dynamic to watch.

Just want to clarify that I don’t ship it because … y’all he literally shot her and paralyzed her why do you do this?? But I definitely want to see more of them on my TV screen

11. Dad!Kane cupping his son’s face

Need I say more?

12. “Warriors don’t reveal their secrets.”

AND ECHO LOOKS AT BELLAMY BECAUSE HE DIDN’T CAVE AND REVEAL THEIR SECRETS BECAUSE MY BOY IS SO STRONG 

13. Ice Nation is SO much more interesting than Trikru

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE

14. “Remember that time we welded your dad’s furniture to the ceiling? Now THAT was a prank.”

I WOULD SAY SO MONTY LMAO THIS IS SO EXTRA AND I LOVE IT

CLASSIC JONTY I CAN CLEARLY ENVISION THEM DOING THIS

15. “You’re not God, Clarke. You don’t get to decide who lives and dies.”

Hmm … that’s an interesting line. Almost like it might be … I don’t know … A major theme of the show or something?

Also A++ delivery Devon. Kudos.

16. This show is SO GOOD with moral dilemmas

They truly do bring their A-Game every season. The List is just one example of these so-called moral dilemmas. There truly is no right choice. Clarke was pragmatic, everything she did made SENSE. But was it moral? Was it humane? That’s another story, and it’s one these writers are not afraid to tell.

17. Monty and Clarke’s interactions are all so on point

“You’re the one going too far and using the same old justification: it’s all for my people.”

ANOTHER MAJOR THEME ALERT

Monty is spilling the tea this episode and while I understand Clarke’s mindset and sympathize with her for dealing with the pressure on her shoulders, everything that Monty said in this scene was absolutely 100% true, and it’s going to come into play in Clarke’s character arc this season, I am sure.

18. Raven’s struggle with her leg is so real

Kim perfectly captured the struggles that Raven has to deal with and how her leg, while limits her physical ability, certainly does not limit her determination, her skill, and her brain. 

19. “What if the fight is all we are? We torture, kill, betray. We pretend we’re more than that just to make ourselves feel better, but it’s a lie.”

I love this line so much. This episode encapsulates so many themes and big ideas of the show (and it grapples with morality in hugeeeee ways) and I’m loving it.

20. “You’re not a prisoner, Luna. You have a choice.”

Raven putting her gun down and saying this to Luna is SO important, especially when you think about how Clarke tried to force the flame on her in 3x14. Free will was a major theme last year and I’m glad to see it paying off now.

21. Jaha swooping in and stealing that crowd

Listen. I know that there are many conflicted opinions on Jaha and I know that lot of people hate him. But I have never been more intrigued. His story this season is sooo interesting. I have no idea what to expect from him. I feel as though he is so disconnected from the other characters at this point in the narrative that he’s a complete wild card. Do I trust him or not? Should I? What are his motives? What knowledge does he have that the other characters don’t?

He’s so fascinating to me in that he is completely unpredictable. His story this season could break off in just about any direction. 

This scene was really fun to watch. Clearly, Jaha’s years of being a Chancellor comes in handy with a crowd. He knows what to do, what to say, to sway them. It reminds me of Bellamy, in a way, actually. Say what you will about Jaha, but he has a way with words and he knows how to inspire people. I can’t wait to see how this goes. 

(I totally think that lottery is bullshit and I think that Jaha realizes this, but he’s manipulating the crowd. We’ll see how this blows up in our faces later.)

“The people need to feel like they have a say in their fate.”

Another interesting line that I enjoyed. Just wanted to point it out.

22. “It’s the only choice you gave yourself. If you think you have the best idea, you have to convince people, not lie to them. Or lock them up.”

So choices and free will and truth and morality are all big focusses of this episode. People seem to overlook how much great thematic stuff is in 4x04 but there’s a lot and it’s great.

23. Becca’s lab is bomb AF

24. BOB MORLEY DESERVES A FUCKING EMMY PLEASE AND THANK YOU

25. “Take me home.” 

BECAUSE EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME ARKADIA AND THE SKY PEOPLE ARE STILL OCTAVIA’S HOME BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE BELLAMY IS (or so she thinks) AND HELLO YES I’M STILL EMO

amirosebooks  asked:

I'm watching 11.15 right now and this comment from Dean to Sam "Will you please try not to ruin one of the nicest things dad ever did for us?" really stood out for me. I mean, obviously Dean has always put on a show of "Dad did his best/wasn't totally fucked up/THIS IS FINE" in regards to John and their childhood for Sam, but it's always been pretty clear to me that Sam never actually believed it. How much of that smoke and mirrors is for Dean himself?

Heck, I think at least a little bit of it is self-defense.

But Sam may never have bought all the “John is great” stuff, but I don’t think he ever understood the full extent of what John and Dean (initially under John’s orders) truly tried to keep from him.

I think 3.08 was really eye opening for Sam in this way. I mean, they’d given us some hints earlier on (with Max in 1.14, and Dean’s reaction to Sam’s comment that they were actually pretty lucky with John that they didn’t end up having a childhood like Max did; with everything from 1.18 that showed us just how different Dean’s childhood was from Sam’s… that it was essentially nonexistent), but SAM never got that full story out of Dean even then.

In 3.08, we start to really see the different layers of Dean’s performance for Sam, and Sam starts to get a small idea of this concept too, but it’s still something we the audience have a much clearer picture of, while Sam is still mostly in the dark. Dean’s “Dad’s great!” was just one level of the performance Dean had to construct to keep even the essential nature of their lives hidden from Sam. The superficial veneer laid atop a mountain of secrets and lies that kept Sam “protected” from the supernatural.

I wrote something the other day (and others have written tons on the subject too) about how John was both protective of Sam, but also terrified of him and what connection he may have to the “thing” that killed Mary. I think at first he may have even been terrified that Sam WAS the thing that killed Mary… so keeping Sam in the dark until he learned the entire truth for himself was as much for Sam’s protection as his own. It became a life strategy.

His last words to Dean were that he had to save Sam, and if he couldn’t, then he’d have to kill Sam… I mean, that says a lot toward John’s really mixed feelings about Sam and the lengths he tried to go to in his attempt to “save Sam” from the supernatural.

It’s not really until 9.07 that I think Sam really started to get an idea of just how much Dean sacrificed of himself as a buffer between him and John, and that Dean has always known full well that John wasn’t an ideal parent. But the story became the story, to quote Dean in 9.07, and it just became easier for Dean to believe in the make believe version he’d been forced to build up in his mind. 

But because of all that, the fact that deep down Dean really does know all the truth and horror that Sam had been sheltered from all those years, god how much harder does he truly cling to those very few memories of times he was actually ALLOWED to just be a kid, to just sit at a wrestling show and cheer for his favorite and not have to hide anything or make up a story or anything else. 

I think it’s been a while since Dean tried to delude himself with even the performance of “John was a good dad,” but his comment to Sam in 11.15 didn’t have anything to do with John. Sure, the pretext of going to the funeral was that it was “John’s favorite wrestler,” but the wrestling show itself, that was something Dean wanted to remember for himself. Like the memory of his first B&E sneaking out to watch Gunner Lawless on pay per view. It was more about one of those few small moments where Dean actually FELT like a proper kid, doing something just for fun, and then Sam made that snide comment about the dad drinking and essentially taking his kid to the show for purely selfish reasons (cheap beer, keep the kid distracted) rather than doing something FOR the kid because it was something the kid truly enjoyed…

I hope that makes sense, I’ve been completely distracted watching 1.09 while trying to type this up. :P

pastelkingalex  asked:

Hey hey hey!! Could I get KuroKen with Kuro helping Kenma through a panic attack or a depressive episode??

Unknown Number

Kenma could feel himself shaking long before he managed to find an empty stall. But the real panic only started to set in in full force as he slumped against the wall, sliding into a sitting position and wrapping his arms around his knees– shuddering, shallow breaths and the blurred lines of the stall door, the wall, the toilet next to him, the crush of anxiety on his chest forcing the air out of his lungs, disconnecting him from his surroundings. It seemed as though he was looking at everything through the wrong end of a smudged telescope, but even more sickening was the cold familiarity of the feeling.

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seddiainstorybrooke  asked:

Hey so I was going through your King Arthur tag and saw your morgana gifset about her being labeled a villain which was very lovely and beautiful. I saw your tags tho about how merlin did worse and I was just wondering if you could explain? I hope that didn't come off condescending I'm genuinely curious bc I can't rly think about how merlin did worse and I just want to see your perspective on it??

I am sorry for taking so long to answer! I’m full of exams and didn’t have time to write a proper answer. I’m glad you asked that, because it’s something I think a lot (and was thinking when I made that gifset) but I had never put these thoughts into words.

Well, first of all, i wanted you to know that Morgan Le Fay is my fav, so I’m not very impartial, I’m rather passionate about the matter than rational. But I’m gonna try to make sense. I’m Morgan le fay’s fan. Not just in bbc’s merlin, but in the Arthurian legend as a whole. I was a huge fan of the show. Actually, I think I still am, but now, as an Arthurian reader, I can see its flaws. The truth is: it’s bad written. They started with something and suddenly it’s something else: the whole “Morgana is evil now” thing is so shallow.

The first two seasons had a great potential, and even the third one, but after that the show just kept the same good vs. evil storyline: Morgana, full of hate, trying desperately kill the noble king Arthur and get her revenge while Merlin helps Arthur with magic and wins all the time (and Arthur knows absolutely nothing). Well, I know the show is about Merlin  and his relationship with Arthur, but what I meant when I wrote those tags is that everything Morgana does, Merlin also does. For me, he’s done worse than her because he had more knowledge, he was aware of things: he knew about magic, she didn’t. She was alone, he wasn’t.

All effort of the 1980’s Arthurian stories, to give  Morgan le Fay a voice, to explain why she is against Arthur, didn’t mean nothing to the show. Morgana wants the power that Arthur and Merlin have (the power that the men have): the crown and the magic. Everything she does is for these motives, same as Merlin! I’m not denying that Morgana choose to do bad things, she did, but she is never forgiven about it while Merlin always is. He betrays her, he lies to her, he leaves her alone because he believes she is a threat for the magic and the crown and he doesn’t even know if it’s true. He did not give her a chance.

But the show classified her and not him as “the evil one”, so all Merlin actions against her is somehow forgiven. Meanwhile, her actions against “the good ones” is punished and she’s the villain again.  I’m gonna try to explain it better: Merlin is always in a certain position of power because he knows about magic, Morgana didn’t. Everything was happening to her and Merlin chose not to tell her because he feared her. He didn’t give her a chance. And that’s the mistake of the show: it lacks complexity of the characters. Morgana is not a bad character, she is not the villain, she’s only in the dark. It’s always a misunderstanding! In the beginning of the show, she is kind and deeply cares about her friends, and she may truly hate Uther, but she does not hate Arthur. It’s clear when they meet in season 4, they both care deeply about each other but have to be in opposite sides because they are both ignorant about the things Merlin hides. Merlin puts Morgana aside because of an unknown future. C’mon, the writers just needed a bad guy to put Merlin in a hero position. Morgana always loses because she’s evil and deserved the bad things that happened to her, when we all know that it’s not the truth: Morgana is a martyr as much as Merlin is! She suffers as much as he does.

You can compare Morgana with Gwen. Gwen is a strong female character in bbc’s merlin too but even when you think she’s in a position of power, she is not… because she is always supporting blindly Arthur and Merlin. She is in the “good” side. She and Arthur didn’t even know Morgana’s side of the story. And that’s the problem: Morgana is only “the evil one” of the show because they chose to ignore the bad things that happened to her.  Or do you think that if Arthur (or Gwen) knew anything about Morgana (how she had magic, how Merlin poisoned her) he would not give her a chance? He gave Merlin a chance (in the last episode, but he did). The problem of this show is that everything is dark, nothing is really explained: Morgana, the evil woman, Merlin, the solitary hero. I don’t like things that are one thing or another. Do you? I want complexity, I want to hear Morgana’s voice, and all bbc’ merlin lets us hear is her hate! And her “reckless motives” against the ones they call heroes! She’s just another woman, silenced by history, remembered by the things other people labeled her. Morgana, the evil witch.

Did I make sense? Do you understand what I mean? (I’m sorry if I was confuse). What I really wanted to say is that in the end, It doesn’t matter who’s done worse. What matters is: Merlin’s excuses were accepted, Morgana’s were not. Two different ways to measure the same thing. And, for me, that’s the huge problem.

Originally posted by missmysteriousm

161205 Namjoon fancafe

BTS received a Daesang. MMA Album Of The Year and MAMA Artist Of The Year. This is truly unbelievable. I don’t know how many times we’ve faced these unbelievable events lately. Like i always say,dreams come true, or this reality is actually a dream? My mind keeps going places.

I promise myself, not to hang up on the titles, but Daesang… The title of Daesang and Artist Of The Year have placed their weight on me. Before or now, we’ve been asked so many questions like What is BTS strength? Where does the charm come from? How could you have done so well?.. We have answered them nervously because in fact we also don’t know exactly. It may sound ironic but It think that ‘not knowing’ is our strength.   

As I said, we still don’t know exactly. Why we could get such good words? What’s the meaning of things we are doing right now? What will be left?  Why we could receive so much love like this? Honestly we all don’t know. And it might sound weird but I think it’s better not to know. I think we just need appreciate our music, stages, our members and fans.

Every morning - no matter it’s the time to get up or to sleep - I start and finish the day with appreciation. With the thankfulness towards this whole world. This is a long cliff, from which we could fall if we missed just one step, but with trust towards each other, with passion and the help from so many others, we have climbed this spot and feel thankful.

I feel grateful for today’s weather. Grateful for the clear sky. Grateful for the dark clouds, for the rain coming. Grateful to my family and friends, to the people who love me. Ah I wanted to thank you, thank you so much.

 If we would have known the road on which we would be walking was a cliff like in the beginning, we might have run away as trainees and rather hide somewhere else in this world. Or might not have started in the first place. If it wasn’t marked in history, my life would not be like now, would it? Therefore I feel so grateful. Sorry and grateful. To me. To world. To people.

 My heart is still the same,  no matter where we are. We want to be able to make eye contact with you at the same level right? You guys give me a ride on your shoulders and show me another world and sometimes I actually want you all to sit on my shoulders too. Isn’t it wonderful? The word ‘understand’ is made from 'under’ and 'stand’. It’s because we are all human, we all have the feelings of happiness, sadness ,fear, accomplishmentss, laughter and tears.

 I feel, that the way we are going right now, leads to a totally different world, a new world. I want to see where it lead us, no matter what happens. Are you curious about the place where we will be flying to? We went through a lot together and I believe that we’ll be able to do a lot of more good things in the future. I have ambiguous confidence that in the future we will be able to do great things beyond our imagination. I thought being ambiguous was not a good thing but now I feel there’s no other ambiguesness in this world that could be so pleasing like this. 

Yes guys, it’s a Daesang. I’ve always had this ambition, but this was just a brightly shining dream, something that I’ve never seen before too. Thank you, guys, for being together and making this dream come true. Thanks to you guys, everyday I can understand myself more. Yesterday I was walking beside a lake alone and suddenly there was such a strong gust of wind, that all the leaves fell down. I picked up some leaves and at that moment I thought of the time when I was a kid. We used to keep red fallen leaves as bookmarks and would give them to our precious friends. Today I’m still like this. I think you guys everyone have at least one red leaf in your hearts too. So let’s go with each other’s support and find out what our future holds,

Thank you for today too. It’s such a grateful day.

ⓒbtsfc /  ⓒpeachBOY_0613

Only Seven Balrogs

I’m writing this because I know people might argue what I was talking about in my last post, in that I’m completely wrong or mistaken because there were a ton of Balrogs and way more than two were killed pre-LotR and “just look at the early writings!” Obviously, what I have to say is in adherence with Tolkien’s statement that “There should not be supposed more than say 3 or at most 7 ever existed.” [HoME Annals of Aman, section 2 X.80]

When dealing with earlier canon and determining if it’s legit or not, I follow a simple rule: if it’s contradicted by later canon, or if Tolkien outright dismisses or changes it, then it’s no longer viable. Believe me, if early canons weren’t overthrown by the later, more established canon, the earlier battle of Utumno would be hardcore canon for me through and through. Along with the original conversation between Thingol and Beren, to name a few (especially the original conversation between those two). But they’re not, because Tolkien revised them and made new decisions about them. 

Arda originally had a very different shape and structure, but that was changed. Beren was an Elf, but that was changed. Mermaids, however, which can be found in the early writings, were never contradicted or dismissed and so I still believe they exist in Arda. In the early writings it was said that Melkor ripped the wings off Eagles when they wouldn’t tell him what he wanted, and since nothing contrary was ever later written, that specific canon is still canon to me. Hence why, in my Glorfindel essay, even though his duel with the Balrog is in those early writings, I still consider it legitimate canon because there’s nothing to contradict it (indeed, his slaying a Balrog carried on into the later lore). Determining what to use from the early mythology can be very difficult precisely because not every thing was rejected.

But Tolkien’s Balrogs cannot claim the same stability in the lore as Glorfindel’s story. 

For one, those who study the lore will have noticed how the actual number of Balrogs fluctuated and decreased as Tolkien’s conception of his world evolved. Secondly, those earlier Balrogs weren’t even Maiar (so if we’re to accept the idea of the Balrogs being numerous as canon, shouldn’t we also accept that they’re not Maiar, just another type of creature Morgoth created?). In the early writings, there were hundreds of Balrogs and in other accounts, they numbered in the thousands and people were killing them left and right (Ecthelion being one of those people, along with Tuor). 

But in the “finalized” lore, if you will (namely the time of the published Silmarillion), the Balrogs were no longer creations of Morgoth, but Umaiar and far more powerful and dangerous and destructive. And so that’s why it becomes much more impressive that Glorfindel and Ecthelion both slew a Balrog each, why their notoriety and praise is as great as it is.

I accepted Tolkien’s later statement(s) about the Balrogs on their own, but those rather large revisions made to the Balrogs themselves also convinced me that limiting the number to seven or to at least a very small amount was certainly Tolkien’s last intention regarding those demons.

Because here’s the rub: I don’t personally believe there were only seven Balrogs. As in, only seven Balrogs ever. Even though Tolkien uses that word “ever”, but I’m inclined to believe that’s from Elven perception (I’ll address that in a moment). I don’t really believe there were thousands or even hundreds, but certainly dozens before the construction of Arda began. Or maybe there were hundreds, I don’t know (the host of Maiar coming into Ea was never numbered). But I like to believe that the Valar/Maiar defeated those numerous Balrogs before the Awakening of the Elves. The Wars of the Valar lasted thousands upon thousands upon thousands of years, and I find it highly believable that those Balrogs were battling against the Ainur alongside Melkor and that the majority of them were defeated. And that those remaining seven or dozen or whatever escaped into the World no less than Sauron did (twice) where they then fell asleep for like five Ages.

That’s why, in my post, I said there were “only seven Balrogs”, in that at the very least, Elves/Men/Dwarves only knew of the existence of seven of them. They were only aware of seven. Only seven were ever seen, that kind of thing. I mean, it doesn’t explicitly say that all the remaining Balrogs awoke at Melkor’s call. Some could in fact still be sleeping! (that certainly seemed to be the case for the Balrog in Moria lol) So no, I don’t believe that there were only ever seven Balrogs or that only seven remained in Arda (I’d say a dozen, maybe two at most). But that only seven took part in Morgoth’s siege of Beleriand? Yes. That I believe. Maybe only seven woke up at Melkor’s scream.

The reason I said I suspect it might be from Elven perception is simply me accounting for the bias/limited perspective the history was written with. That, and Tolkien also talks a little bit later about the Maiar who followed Melkor and those who became Balrogs, and those Maiar were more than a few: 


“For of the Maiar many were drawn to his splendour in the days of his greatness, and remained in that allegiance down into his darkness”

Tolkien then made an additional note, consisting of:


“These were the (ealar) spirits who first adhered to him in the days of his splendour, and became most like him in his corruption
[Tolkien then proceeds on to name and describe the Balrogs]”

That’s why I suspect there were more Balrogs than seven, because the subject of all this is the Balrogs and the mention of the Maiar and their corruption were listed as being “many”. Thus, why I partly think many Balrogs did actually exist in the beginning but were defeated until only seven remained at the time of the Awakening of the Elves, when the Children’s own timeline began. 

However, I could be and am possibly very wrong and we should be taking Tolkien’s use of “ever” literally since it is in fact a footnote that was written by him and not Pengolodh. And it does make sense if there truly were only ever seven. Taking into account how unique Balrogs were based on what Tolkien later wrote (most noticeably in The Later Quenta Silmarillion (I) MR.165 §18, where those quotes above comes from), I can’t think of a good reason not to take Tolkien literally with that. Though Melkor corrupted others into his service and “bred many other monsters” after indwelling Arda, the Balrogs were ever Melkor’s greatest “weapon” (or of his greatest) and like in many military ventures, the greater or more valuable something is, the less there is of it.

To go on a small tangent, part of me theorizes that those hundreds of monsters were renamed to what was conceived in the later lore as the Boldogs: 


“the name of a kind of creature: the Orc-formed Maiar, only less formidable than the Balrogs[…]Morgoth had many servants, the oldest and most potent of whom were immortal, belonging indeed in their beginning to the Maiar; and these evil spirits like their Master could take on visible forms. Those whose business it was to direct Orcs often took Orkish shapes, though they were greater and more terrible.”
[HoME Myths Transformed X.418]

Their description certainly fits the earlier stature of the Balrogs. Boldogs are canon and their numbers aren’t given, so maybe that’s where that big number of monsters went? This is only a theory, and one I don’t fully commit to.

Anyway.

By all means, everyone believe what he or she chooses! I know in the end, nothing in the lore is 100% concrete (thanks a lot, Tolkien), but I’m just trying to explain where I’m coming from and my thought process behind this. I’ve studied the lore and its infuriating contradictions so much that, for the sake of writing fanfiction and metas and hcs and stuff, I finally just developed that rule, which has so far stood the test of time, at least for me. 

Would You Like That, ‘Girlfriend’?

Summary: Cas decides to be your fake boyfriend so that a bartender will finally leave you alone.

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Word Count: 2200

Warnings: smutty-ish, public dry humping???? (idek lol), language, Cas says the word “fuck” a lot (idk its a head canon of mine that Cas drops the F-bomb a lot when he’s turned on)

A/N: this is for @marksheppardischarming‘s June writing challenge! My prompt was “fake dating” :-)

Tags: @divinitycas @miss-spnm0mma @not-so-natural-spn @bkwrm523 @netflixandcastiellll @phantomangelgoddess

Originally posted by supernaturalfreewill

You, Sam, Dean and Cas had just arrived back at the bunker from a hunt a state over, and although it was a successful one, it was long and tiring. You couldn’t wait to snuggle into your PJ’s and watch some Netflix.

“You guys wanna go to Mel’s?” Dean suddenly asked, right as you were going to make your way to your room.

You audibly groaned. Mel’s was the only bar near the bunker and the bartender, Rick, was always hitting on you.

Keep reading

Believe It or Not. Part 5.

Summary: y/n has taken it upon herself to make it noticeable how done she is with the boys… And they’re noticing.

Content: fluff(;

(Based off 1x05 “The Tell”)

She got out of the shower and pulled on a blue hoodie and gray joggers for the night.

The house was still empty and her mom wouldn’t be home until morning probably, all she was working lately was night shifts.

She slowly walked towards Scott’s room, not surprised when she found no one there. She signed and walked down the stairs to the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of water, then made her way to sit criss-crossed on the coach before turning on the tv.

The news was the first channel that popped up, and usually She would’ve skipped right past it but Y/n saw the sheriff in the back standing by Jackson.

The headline read out, “rabid animal attacked two teens, one man dead.”
It looked like they were at a movie store. So now beacon hills has crazy animals on the loose?
- - -
She made her ways through the hall silently, just like the rest of the school. I mean of course it was noisy with teenagers talking, but the taking fades out and you don’t really hear the words anymore.

On her way to class she passed by Scott standing with Allison at her locker, it must have been her birthday because she could see balloons peeking out from the inside. Usually she would’ve said hi, but this time she just settled for one greeting.

“Hi Allison,” she waved to the girl, “Happy Birthday.” She added as Allison waved back and said thank you, returning to her conversation with Scott.

I showed up and took my seat in front of Stiles without making any eye contact with him what’s so ever.

“Hi, y/n.” He attempted. He knew it was a bad attempt, but he did it anyway.

All she did was open her book and pull out a highlighter, and began reading the assigned chapter.

Disappointed, Stiles did the same and started to highlight every line of the textbook like his life depended on it. Which didn’t go unnoticed to Mr.Harris.

“Mr. Stilinski. Try putting the highlighter down between paragraphs, it’s chemistry, not a coloring book.”

Y/n laughed at the comment that embarrassed the boy. Stiles just kind of glanced at her but she still hasn’t looked at him once, he figured he was better off just leaving her be at this point, so he turned to talk to Danny. Quietly so y/n wouldn’t hear, at least he hoped.

“Hey, Danny, can I ask you a question?” He whispered to the boy.

“No.”

“Well, im going to anyways. Um, did Lydia show up in homeroom today?”

Y/n rolled her eyes. Of course, he’s asking about Lydia, she thought.

“No.” Danny finally looked at Stiles.

“Okay, can I ask you another question?” Stiles pried. The girl was now fully focused on the scene in front of her.

“Answers still no.”

“Does anyone know what happened to her and Jackson last night?”

Now Stiles had both Danny’s and Y/n’s complete and undivided attention.

“He wouldn’t tell me.” Danny whispered back.

“But he’s still your best friend, one more question.” Stiles moved his stool a little closer to Danny, causing y/n to lean over the table.

“Do you find me attractive?”

Y/n couldn’t believe she actually liked this boy, yet she laughed quietly to herself anyway.
- - -
Y/n went through her next classes not seeing Scott or Stiles anywhere, were they seriously ditching school now?

She ran home quickly to grab some dinner, when she got home there was pasta on the stove and not from her mom that read out, ‘off to parent conferences early to get Scott’s done. Text me when you’re on your way.’

She quickly ate and grabbed a bigger jacket since it was starting to get dark outside and made her way towards the school.

Her conferences went really smoothly, all her teachers could tell her mom was that she’s an amazing student and they never have any problems with her.

Y/n and her mom were standing out in the hallway so Melissa could call Scott, because he hadn’t shown up yet.

“Where the hell are you? Get to the school now.”

Melissa hung up the voicemail she left and turned to y/n.

“What’s going on with your brother?” y/n just shrugged, “I wish I knew.”

Y/n and her mom ran into Allison’s parents and found out that they both had skipped the day together. Mr. Argent was accusing her mom of bad parenting, so y/n jumped in.

“Sorry, Mr. Argent, but how do we know skipping class wasn’t Allison’s idea?”

Everyone just kind of stopped walking and looked at the young girl, Chris opened his mouth to say something to her and then a car pulled right in front of them blinding them with the headlights.

Both Scott and Allison got out of the car. Once they were close enough every parent broke out into a fit of complaining that y/n couldn’t even keep track of what they were saying. Stiles walked up then looked as if he wished he would’ve stayed away.

“It’s not his fault,” Allison interjected, “it’s my birthday, and we-”

She was cut off by a mountain lying sprinting across the parking lot and scaring the shit out of everyone. Scott grabbed Allison and his mom pulled them behind him, y/n was a little further away however and no one knew what to do considering the animal was staring right at her, baring its teeth.

Y/n’s eyes widened in terror, she was frozen. It took one step towards her and that’s when she felt a pair of arms pull her away just as the rabid animal began to leap towards her. Y/n heard a gunshot ring out, and after it did no more screams or feet running could be heard. Her eyes were shut, but she assumed the animal was dead. She realized she was still lying on the ground, so she opened her eyes and saw that she wasn’t lying on the hard concrete because she was laying on top of Stiles. She looked at him and his eyes immediately caught hers.

“Are you okay?” He asked while trying to stand up and bring her with him. He kept his hands wrapped around her arms so he could hold her in front of him.

“Im okay.” She nodded, seeing the genuine worry in his eyes.

“Are you sure you’re not hurt?” He asked again, checking her up and down to make sure there were no cuts and bruises. But she truly was fine, so she grabbed his hand causing him to look at her in the eye again.

“Im okay, I promise.” She re-assured him. He gave her a small smile before wrapping her in his arms in a hug. He felt so much relief in that moment. And she felt safe.

SEND FEEDBACK LOVERS

Things I said after it was over (Reader x Kyoya)

((After so many asks about the second part to this, I was inspired to do a second part. So no further ado I give you Things I (Reader) said after it was over))

You met him under the big oak tree, writing away in that small notebook of his. Glasses low on his nose and his face scrunched in concentration.  You had seen him in your econ class, he always seemed to have the answers for the questions asked, yet he wasn’t that big of a show off. “Hey, notebook guy!” you said, a small smile on your face as you made your way towards him. And with those four words both your worlds fell apart.

Your history was long, after all you both lasted almost throughout all four years of college. You helped him build another host club, you were there for each other after every single milestone of your new young adult life. You shared a bond beyond what you could ever imagine, yet it took all but a few words for that to fall apart. Upon reflecting on your relationship, it may had been a bit rocky towards the end, yet you were still happy with Kyoya, you would have given up the world for him. Somehow it was better he had ended it, because then at least you knew how he truly felt about you.  His words still stung, yet they helped you get over him, slowly and never all at once.

You saw him again, under the big oak tree, writing away in that small notebook of his a few months after the terrible break up. It took you a while to get over his words, and even after all these months they still held a heavy burden in your heart. You couldn’t see him without remembering his cruel words. “You are the easiest thing to replace.” Yet you decided it was around time you confronted him. He hadn’t bothered to check up on you personally, he didn’t bother to apologize, and you had decided it was time for actual closure. You weren’t going to waste another thought or tearful night on him, just as he hadn’t spare an extra second with you after it was over.

“Hey notebook guy.” You said courteously, making your way over to the bench he was seated on. You felt a pang at your heart when he looked up. He had grown his hair out, you noticed. You had been careful to avoid him, and it was easy since you had a completely changed your schedule after the breakup. He gave you a small smile, closing his notebook. “Y/N, it’s been a while hasn’t it?” He responded, in the same courteous tone you had given him. “Yes it has, how have you been?” The sigh he gave worried you slightly, before you regained yourself. You weren’t his girlfriend, you weren’t anything to him you recalled. “Busy, studying, seeing what to do after we graduate.” “Oh yeah, I heard you were invited by to attend here again for your masters. Your father must be proud you went beyond your brothers, with having American schools and companies looking into you. Foreign investors must be good for your family’s business” You said looking back at him.

He nodded, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and even if you didn’t know him, you could tell he meant business. “I know you want to talk about that night and I just want to-” You interrupted him with a swift “No.” He raised an eyebrow at you, certainly surprised with your outburst. “No Kyoya, you talked that night, you talked and talked and wouldn’t listen to me, now it’s your turn to listen to me. You broke my heart that night, yet that was nothing compared to your indifference for the days following, you broke the entirety of my being. You knew how much I needed you, how much you meant to me, for you to just tell me I was worthless to you, nothing more than an experience!.” You started, your tone growing with aggressiveness, all the emotions you bottled up for him starting to seep through your words. “I loved you, I shared parts of myself that I wouldn’t share with anyone else. Yet that wasn’t’ enough for the ever knowing Kyoya Ootori, you had to dig through my past, through stuff you knew would hurt me if they came out to light.  Yet it was my fault. I was stupid enough to believe I had the love of a cold calculating businessman.” You laughed humorlessly, “I was stupid enough to believe I would be enough for you, that my love for you would be enough. Nothing is enough for you.” You said looking away from him.

The silence between you two was deafening, the tension was so thick it could be tangible, yet you weren’t near close to done. “I don’t blame myself anymore for what you said. After you said those things, I actually believed I was worthless. Now I know better. I was stupid yeah, but it was never my fault.  I am worth more than how you treated me. I know I’m not a girl your father would approve of, hell I spent four years dating you and I never met him or your brothers. I didn’t complain Kyoya, I knew how much it meant to you. I loved you. And that is what love is about, respecting the other person, knowing them and not pressuring them. Love is trust, and it hurt when you didn’t trust me, because I never for a second stopped trusting you, even as you said those words, I thought I knew you well enough that you would come back, apologize, and no matter what you would have been forgiven.” You sigh and looked back at him, “I know I may not have a huge influential family, and yes you knew I was scholarship student when we met, yet you are no better than me because of your position. You need to learn that the rest of us haven’t had the upbringing you had, the competitive ambiance in our families, we never learnt we will be used. ” You could see your words had some weight on him, you always told him that his eyes were a dead giveaway. Your hand moved to his, grasping it lightly.  “I really hope your happy someday Kyoya. I know you’ve improved a lot since high school, yet you still have a long way to go.” You said looking at your intertwined hands. “Learn to trust others, trust those who are important to you. Not everyone is a business transaction.” You felt his hand tighten around yours. “Our four years are something I will never forget, we had an amazing chemistry. You are the first man I ever truly loved, and you know how they say you never forget your first love. Besides I think now, we can be friends.” You told him smiling as you leant towards him. “You are a great person Kyoya, underneath the façade you have built.” You kissed his cheek. “I don’t think I will ever stop loving you entirely, and that’s okay, because if I don’t feel this way, then it means that what we had was truly make believe. But I will hold that love and passion, and fuel it to be a great friend to you.” You smiled and him and kissed his cheek. “You have people who care about you, and you will have people that will hurt you. Yet I hope you learn how to let go of some of your past, let go of what hurts you.” You stood up. “Let go of what’s holding you back, and continue on being yourself. Find your true self Kyoya, because I saw a glimpse at him and he had so much in front of him.” So finally Kyoya let go.


Kyoya never forgot about that talk, it was a conversation he hadn’t known he needed. He was much calmer in retrospect to you. He knew he had hurt you and it was unbecoming of him not to check up on you, yet those days after your falling apart he began to doubt himself. He had doubted his words, doubted if they actually rung true or if it were his anger from you exclamations beforehand.

Kyo! You had absolutely no right to do that! Look through my stuff as though you were so sort of stalker. It’s my life, its part of me that doesn’t need you.” And you had promised him that you had given yourself entirely to him, that you wouldn’t lie that there would never ve a part of you that you would withhold from him. Yet you had lied, which didn’t seem to surprise him anymore. 

Had he really loved you? Or was it something you had desperately wanted, and he wanted to give you what you wanted.  He knew he loved you, you never got in the way of him, you never exclaimed at him for his long hours of work. You had been patient, understanding. You didn’t give him the fire you once had when he met you. You had become docile, ordinary. He understood that four years can change a person a lot, yet he go to a point where he no longer recognized you. You were different than the bright eyed girl filled up excitement and awe at the world. He could no longer surprise you, he could tell that in those last months, he couldn’t fulfil your excitement anymore. It had become clockwork to you both. He knew that you would never leave him, so he had to leave you. He worried so much about you the days following, yet he couldn’t afford to want to get back with you if he didn’t understand his emotions himself. He loved you enough to let you go.

Tommy Shelby Imagine

Request: Could you do Thomas Shelby request of having grown up with the Shelby boys but your family moving when you were teenagers and then coming back as a adult to be a nurse in the clinic in Small Heath and running back into the Shelby boys (but having kept contact with Ada since you are like a older sister to her) who can’t help but flirt and basically becoming their go to ‘doctor’ and one night after fixing Tommy up their feelings come out??

Note: Okay so I’ve missed out some parts of the request. I couldn’t fit it all in, it would go on forever so I’ve tried to shorten it the best I can whilst keeping the main part of the request all in.

Originally posted by benedict-in-winterfell

You felt a sudden rush of butterflies in your stomach, the nerves were kicking in now. You were on the train on your way back to Birmingham. Your first time back in seven years. You played over all the different scenarios in your head and all the different things that could be different about Garrison Lane and the people that lived there.

You moved away when your were only a teenager, your parents were having a lot of problems, dad cheating on mum blah blah and they wanted to make their marriage work so they decided a fresh start would be best for you all. You’ll never forget the day they told you, your heart crumbled into a million pieces right there in front of them. You pleaded with you parents to stay “Please, please! All my friends are here, my job is here” but they didn’t listen to you, “oh nonsense (Y/N) you’ll meet lots of new friends in London” that wasn’t really the reason you wanted to stay, quite frankly you hated your part time bar job you had, and you didn’t really get on with anyone at school, you just didn’t want to leave the Shelby’s especially Tommy. You’d all grown up together on the same road and lived next door from each other, you did everything with the boys, they were your family. It had felt wrong but you started to feel different about Tommy, there was something about him, he was different from John and Arthur, he was…special. None the less you left anyway, but you never told Tommy how you felt, it had been so many years since it all happened, the feelings just died away, you don’t think they could exist anymore. Besides, you were sure it was just a teenage crush.

Ada was coming to meet you at the station, you had kept in contact with her, you both write letters to each other all the time, you were like the big sister she never had and even though you were one hundred miles away for seven years, it always felt like you had seen each other everyday, she filled you in and updated you on everything that happens with the family, you both sent weekly letters the whole time however they became less frequent after Karl was born and Freddie died. She was obviously just caught up with everything, and busy looking after Karl, which you understood.

The train started pulling into the station, slowing down, you searched through the window to see if you could find Ada, wondering if she came alone or if she had brought her brothers with her. You spotted her almost instantly, standing alone with Karl in her arms, this was the first time you got to see Karl in person. As soon as the train stopped you dived off with your luggage, she spotted you just as you got off the train.

“(Y/N)” She squealed. Dropping your cases, you ran to her and embraced her in a hug.

“Ada, its been so long. I’ve missed you so much” you choked. You both stayed in your hug for what seemed so long before Ada pulled away, tears filled her eyes and were falling to her cheeks. 

“I can’t believe it, you’ve changed so much!” She smiled

”I’ve changed? Look at you now! At how well you’ve done for yourself” You replied wiping your eyes, referring to Karl.

“Karl” Ada said placing Karl down onto the floor, she held his hands whilst she spoke softly to him “This is your Auntie (Y/N)”

Karl wouldn’t leave you alone the whole way home, he held your hand whilst you spoke to Ada, getting updated on everyone since you last spoke to each other.


You were back at the Shelby house now, none of the boys were in yet, so you and Ada, were sat at the table having a coffee whilst Karl sat on the floor with his toys.

”When will the boys be back? I thought they’d be here by now. They knew I was coming today.” You huffed, eager for the reunion.

“Well…” Ada started “You see…. they don’t actually know?”

“What?” You replied, genuinely thinking you may have misheard what she had just said

“I thought it would be a nice surprise for them” She exclaimed innocently

Before you could argue about it with her, the door slammed. “Ada?! Ada! You won’t believe what Joh-” Arthur cut off what he was saying once he’d seen you, he stood in shock, not quite believing his eyes. The silence brought John and Tommy in the room, both curious to what shut him up.

“(Y/N)?” John questioned “Wha- What are you doing here?” Before I could reply they both ran at you into a hug, you all laughed and said how much you missed each other, complementing each other on appearances. You pulled away from them both to greet Tommy who was still standing in the doorway watching you.

“Thomas?”

He replied with a small smile, and watery eyes. You walked to him, stopping inches away, waiting for him to speak, but nothing. He just watched you. You couldn’t work out if he was happy or disappointed to see you. You held onto his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. You didn’t care if he din’t want to. You did. He wrapped his arms around, you could feel his strong hands against your back and face his tucked into your neck. You had a sudden rush of a million different feelings come to you at once, familiar ones that you had once felt for him. Feelings that deep down, never really left. Tommy pulled away and wiped a tear that had escaped your eyes with his thumb. in that moment, that one little moment, you realised how you really feel about Tommy Shelby. He was your first love, your best friend and you knew that feeling would never go away.


It’s been one week since you moved home to Birmingham and one week since you last spoke to Tommy Shelby. Yep, thats right… its not like he hasn’t acknowledged you at all, its just as little as he can get away with. When you do try to speak to him, its all one worded answer or grunts as well as avoided eye contact. Speaking of ‘avoided’ thats all he’s done to you since you’ve been here. Still though whatever his reasons were for ‘hating’ or ‘disliking’ you, it didn’t change the way you felt, you’d just realised you truly loved him. That feeling wouldn’t go away because of how he’s been this last week. Which is why it explained why you were sitting in the living room at three am. Everyone was in bed asleep, apart from Tommy. He’d gone out somewhere and not yet come back. You couldn’t sleep it was constantly on your mind and you couldn’t stop worrying no matter how hard you tried not to. So instead of struggling to sleep, you thought you’d just read a book or something (even though you couldn’t concentrate) and wait just to make sure he was in ok. At half three in the morning Tommy walked through the door into the living room where you were waiting.

“What are you doing up this late?” he questioned avoiding your eye, he walked over to the cabinet and poured himself a whiskey. It didn’t take a genius to notice the cuts all over is face and his dried bloody nose, even in this light.

“What happened to you? Are you okay?” You asked concerned

Tommy turned to look at you confused “Are you- are you waiting up for me?”

“No!” you barked back denying it, although you’re pretty sure that just made it even more obvious you were

Tommy didn’t reply sitting down on the sofa next to you taking a swig of his drink. His eyes looked tired, he looked physically drained. “I’ll just go get some stuff, we’ll clean you up” you said softly

“I’m fine, don’t” Tommy shook his head, refusing your offer

“Let me help you for gods sake Thomas” before he could say anymore you got up and left the room to get your little medical kit you took everywhere with you. You returned a couple of minutes later, Tommy still sat in the same place as when you left. You cleaned his cuts and put some cream over them to help. Once you had finished you let her hand drop to your waist and you watched him in silence, trying to figure out what on earth he was thinking, and what on earth he had just been doing. 

“I’m sorry” he spoke barely a whisper, not looking at you

“Don’t mention it” you replied waving a hand “I do this all the time” referring to cleaning up the cuts “normally they’re a lot worse”

“I don’t mean for fixing up my cuts” he turned to look at you “I mean for how I’ve been acting” his eyes never left yours, your heart sunk, he knew what he was doing the whole time. You didn’t reply, you just let him speak “Its just…. I just, didn’t know how to be around you. I thought things had changed, but when you came back last week, It just all come back to me and i’ve been so…..so overwhelmed I’m trying to take it all in” he swallowed

You cocked your head to one side in confusion, you wasn’t sure what he was getting at “Whats wrong Tommy. You know you can tell me everything. Its me” you placed you hand over his and squeezed it gently. He looked down at your hands before turning back to you, he moved in before you had the time to realise what was happening, he kissed you. It was just like you’d ever hoped it would be.

“(Y/N)” Tommy said pulling away “I love you. I’ve loved you since we were kids. And when you left, it hurt so badly. But I never stopped and I never will, no matter how hard I’ve tried. I will always, always, always love you”

A tear fell to your cheek, your heart was bursting with more love and joy than you’ve ever felt because Tommy Shelby just made you the happiest girl in the world. You choked back your tears “I was waiting up for you.” the pair of you laughed and kissed again before you held is face and spoke the most truest words you have ever said “I love you too”


I really hope you guys have enjoyed this! Let me know what you think, and if you have any requests, suggestions just send them through, I will try my best.

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