third and delaware

Don't Give Me That Look

@teenwolfficrec | AO3

by @kiti-the-warrior-poet

When Police Officer Derek Hale agreed to help his boyfriend Stiles Stilinski earn some extra credit by participating in an FBI training exercise things do not go as planned.


“I can’t believe you dragged me into this,” Derek growled at Stiles his eyebrows drawing together and eyes narrowing.

Stiles narrows his eyes in return, “Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!” Stiles would have punctuated his statement by poking Derek in the chest, but the fact that his hands are currently tied behind his back is really limiting his options in the body language department.

Derek laughs at that and raises an eyebrow as though to say “and whose fault is it?”

“Okay, so this is slightly my fault, but how was I supposed to know that when the FBI invited us to participate in this training exercise that they meant that we were going to be playing the hostages?”

“Because, Dumb Ass,” a third voice belonging to Arnold Delaware, Stiles’ arch nemesis, interrupts, “you’re only a freshman, why the hell would the FBI let you and your civilian boyfriend anywhere near an actual training exercise?!”

Stiles cracks his neck left and then right and shakes out his shoulders before responding. “First of all, Derek is the only one allowed to call me Dumb Ass, second of all, Derek is not a civilian, he’s an officer of the law, and third of all, my freshman ass beat your senior ass in all of the senior level classes that we’re in together this year.”

“Stiles,” Derek says as he kicks at Stiles’ ankle trying to regain his attention, “I thought you said that McCall told you that this was a training exercise for the new S.O. unit.”

“He did. Wait, shouldn’t we be the bad guys then if we aren’t going to be leading the exercise?”

“My thoughts exactly,” Derek agrees, nodding his head.  “I say we put this Delaware guy in his place and then call McCall to double check with him that we’re actually at the training for the S.O. unit.”

“Two steps ahead of you babe!” Stiles grins, pulling his hands out from behind his back, twirling the handcuffs around the index finger of his right hand.

“What the?! HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THOSE!?!” Delaware shouts, but before he can make a move towards Stiles he notices that Derek is up out of his chair and moving toward him.  Delaware’s momentary distraction, a la Derek, is all the opening that Stiles needs.  He snaps his fingers and the room goes dark, when he snaps his fingers again Delaware is tied to Stiles’ chair with his hands behind his back and a gag in his mouth.

It’s obvious that Delaware is trying to speak behind his gag, but Stiles ignores him in favor of pulling out his phone and making a call to Rafael McCall.

“Stilinski,” answers the voice on the other line, “took you long enough.  Did Hale not think that you should break the rules of the exercise?”

Derek grabs the phone from Stiles’ hand and puts the call on speaker.  “You know I heard that.”

Stiles grabs the phone back and swats Derek on the chest, “You know he knows that you heard that, it’s why he said it,” he directs at Derek.  “Derek and I spent the first ten minutes of the exercise having a silent staring contest before he broke and blamed me for us being held hostage, again, even if it was only for pretend this time.  The point is, we called to make sure we were at the right training and that we understood the objective correctly.”

“Well,” Agent McCall starts, “your little staring contest cost you some valuable time, though I’m sure you’ll recover quickly.  Yes, you’re at the right training.  The agents in attendance have all been through the prescreening process for acceptance into the Supernatural Occurrences unit.  This is their final test.  Stilinski, you and Hale are posing as the enemy combatants.  Introduce them to the Supernatural boys.”

“Got it!”

“Yes sir, understood.”

McCall barks out a simple, “Call me when you’re done,” and then the line goes dead.

“So,” Stiles asks as he puts his phone back in his pocket, “are we thinking united front or divide and conquer?”

“How about a little of both?” Derek suggests.

Stiles shrugs, “Works for me.”

As Stiles and Derek prepare to leave the room Stiles’ eyes begin to glow white and sparks of electricity begin to dance along his fingertips, and Derek’s eyes begin to glow an electric blue, his fangs drop and his claws extend as he lets the beta shift take over.  Derek takes point as they leave the room using his supernaturally enhanced senses to find their first target.  He leads Stiles down a flight of stairs and through a dark hallway into what appears to be an abandoned kitchen.

Derek stops just inside the doorway and cocks his head to listen, not unlike a dog, before he holds up four fingers indicating that he can hear four heart beats on the other side of the island taking up over half of the kitchen.  Derek signals Stiles to go around the island on the left as he heads around it from the right.  Just before the four FBI agents move to take out Stiles and Derek every appliance in the kitchen whirs to life and cabinet doors start flying open and slamming shut.  Derek and Stiles have two paintball guns each and all four agents have been delivered kill shots before they even realize what hit them.

“Are you a werewolf?“  The question comes from an Agent Diaz who Stiles recognizes from the time she spoke in one of his classes.  When Derek nods the affirmative Diaz elbows her neighbor and says, “Pay up Todd, I told you werewolves were real!”

“Yeah, and I told you there was no way Stilinski here was human, so we’re even.  Actually, what are you kid?"  Agent Todd asks, "Are you some sort of vampire or something?”

Stiles can’t help himself, he burst out laughing, “No, I was possessed by an ancient evil fox spirit once though.  I actually am human though.  I’m just a little more in tune with nature than most people.  Most people in the Supernatural world refer to me as a Spark.”

“So what I’m hearing is Todd still owes me twenty bucks,” Diaz says grinning as Agent Todd begins to dig out his wallet.

Derek walks up to Stiles and juts his chin out in the direction of the other two agents, “Those two are being awfully quiet.”

“Yeah,” Stiles agrees, “they are.”  Stiles lets his powers go dormant again and approaches the other two agents as his eyes return to their natural brown.  “I think they passed out, are their heartbeats regular Derek?”

“Their heart rates are fine, they still need to be checked out though.”

“Okay.  Diaz, you and Todd take these two to the medic tent outside.  Derek and I still have two more four man teams to find before the exercise is over.”

As Diaz and Todd begin the process of waking the other two members of their team Stiles and Derek decide to divide and conquer this time.  Derek heads back upstairs after the group that managed to take out all of Delaware’s men on the ground floor.  While Stiles heads further into the building using his spark to light his way.

Derek finds the group that he’s after in the room where he and Stiles left Delaware tied up in a chair.  Someone has removed Delaware’s gag and he is yelling about monsters and how this whole exercise was a set up from the beginning to kill off agents that had pissed off Agent McCall.  Derek delivers four kill shots before any of the agents even realize that he’s in the room with them.  This time only one agent passes out.  Derek instructs the three agents still standing to escort both Mr. Delaware and the unconscious agent to the medic tent, and then Derek heads to the basement where he knows Stiles has been herding the final four-man group.

When Derek enters the basement he sees that the final four agents have Stiles surrounded and that Stiles appears to be unarmed.  One of the agents fires a shot at Stiles, but the paintball explodes in the air three feet away from Stiles’ face.  The agent who fired the shot takes a step back and then Derek opens fire.  Derek only manages to deliver one kill shot before he is suddenly face-to-face with an Alpha in her beta shift.  Derek doesn’t let that stop him though.  After all, Derek Hale has faced down much worse than an Alpha werewolf.

“Stiles, catch!” Derek calls out as he throws his paintball guns in the air.  The paintball guns fly into the air towards Stiles and Derek lets his full shift take over.  Stiles has delivered kill shots to the last two human agents before Derek’s front paws even hit the ground, and the Alpha is so thrown off by witnessing a full shift that Stiles is able to walk right up behind him and shoot him in the back.

“All right, show off,” Stiles says, “go find your backpack so you can change back and I’ll take these four up to join the other new recruits.  You can call Rafe after you get dressed and then join us.”

Derek nips at Stiles’ fingers and licks his hand before running off to retrieve his extra clothes and shift back to his human form.

Twenty minutes later Agent Rafael McCall has gathered all nine of the agents who made it through the exercise without passing out along with Stiles and Derek into a conference room.  Each individual is handed a folder with their name on it and told to take a seat.

“As most of you know, my name is Agent McCall.  What you might not know is that I am the head of the Supernatural Occurrences unit of the FBI.  The exercise that you participated in today was the final test for admittance into the S.O. unit.  Congratulations, if you are in this room you are now a member of the S.O. unit of the FBI.  You will find your new job description in the packet in front of you along with the address of your new office.  I expect to see all of you bright and early on Monday morning,” and with that Rafael left the room.

Stiles turns to Derek with a smile that could light the whole world, “You still mad I dragged you into this?”

Derek just rolls his eyes and shuts his boyfriend up with a kiss.