thinking up against a wall

KURO WEEK - DAY 5: Nightmares

Eeeh… so this is kinda long. But I loved writing it. Also: it’s from Shiro’s POV. So… have this:

Monsters don’t have nightmares…

It took everything in him not to scream. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. Wouldn’t let them know how afraid he really was.


He had survived this once… He would do it again. Because now he knew how the cruel machinery of the arena worked, relentless and precise like clockwork. He knew what the Druids would do to him. He knew the rules.

Stick to the rules and survive.

And rule number one was to never show your fear.

Shiro could do this, he would survive and find his way back home. Home… wherever that was. A small, fragile smile crept onto his face. Of course he knew where home was. It was somewhere among the stars… Sitting in a giant robot lion and hunting every single Galra cruiser down in order to find him. He would survive this… for now there was Keith, burning with the force of a thousand suns, fiery red and blazing with anger. He had seen glimpses of what the Red Paladin was capable of… This man would tear the universe apart and burn the whole Empire to ashes, if that’s what it took to get Shiro back.

For now he would stick to the rules and buy his friends as much time as possible to come and find him. Him and-

Movement from the shadows caught his attention, followed by a soft sob. If it hadn’t been so eerily quiet in their cell, he might’ve missed it. Shiro froze at the sound, eyes trained on the the figure that laid curled up on one of the cots.

The first time he’d seen him, Shiro had actually lost it. He still had no idea where he came from – it didn’t really matter anyway. Because he was there nonetheless. He existed. He breathed. There was a soul in his yellow eyes, when he gave Shiro that look. That look of utter betrayal, like he’d hoped for something more, something that was definitely not a beaten and bruised Shiro.

He couldn’t really remember when or how the guards had maneuvered him into the same cell he occupied. At some point he’d simply checked out, mind going blank and numb, because it was all too much.

The Druids had taken his arm, stripped him off any right he thought he had, put him through fights against aliens twice his size… but THIS. This had been the last straw.

It was the day he met his clone, that Shiro actually cried for the first time in ages. He cried for himself. It was the same day he realized, that this would never end. They’d always find a way to break him, to bend and twist him, until his mind turned into something ugly. The evidence, the actual personification of their madness driven efforts, sat right in front of him and stared at him with piercing yellow eyes.

He had no idea how long they’d stayed like this. Huddled against opposite walls of the same cell and staring off into nothingness, until one of them had started talking. It had been awkward, looking at his own face and listening to his own voice, somewhat sounding off. More guttural. Some words even sounded a little…purred? It was almost off-putting to see his own face staring back at him and moving with expressions that weren’t his. It felt like watching yourself in a mirror, but your reflection suddenly stops moving along with you. Familiar features turned into something otherworldly, because someone else controlled them and poured their very soul into every twitch and pull of muscle.

They’d created a whole new being. The clone might’ve looked like Shiro, but under their shared features, there was a different person. Individual. Original. And so, so human. He even had a name.


How fitting, Shiro had thought at first. But he’d come to realize quite fast, that Kuro wasn’t the dark, evil minded counterpart he’d expected to hide behind that name.

In fact, the more they talked, the more Shiro got the impression, that their Galra-hybrid was more human than most people Shiro had met back on earth.

He had suffered. He had seen horrible things, survived even worse. He’d been ripped open and put back together, just to be torn apart again. Some days he would find the strengh to laugh at all of this… And some days he would break under the pressure and fear. Like any human being would do.

Days had passed. It was easy - too easy - to believe that Kuro was anything but a monster. Especially so, after he’d been carried back into their cell, right after one particular hard fight. Kuro had won, of course… But was the damage his body and mind had taken really worth it?

Seeing him like this morphed repulsion and mistrust first into pity, then into something else. Something Shiro didn’t really want to think about. It felt way too close to compassion.

He couldn’t let that happen.

Stick to the rules and survive.

And sticking to the rules meant no sympathy for Galra-clones.

In the end the universe wouldn’t have any of it.

Another sob brought him back to reality. It tore through the silence that hung between them. As far as he could tell, Kuro was still asleep on his small cot, but he thrashed wildly against invisible enemies and restraints. Maybe he relived his latest fight? His latest torture? Tears glistened in the dim purple lights.

In this moment he looked almost completely human… Vulnerable and scared and just so much younger.

Shiros throat went dry. Kuro wasn’t a monster… never had been… And that tore at his heart.

Despite what the Druids wanted him to be, Kuro was anything but a monster.

Without thinking, Shiro stood up from where he sat, back against the wall, and silently made his way towards the clone. Said clone was a mess; twitching and and clawing at the nightmares that plagued him.

Another whimper. Small and heartbreaking. He couldn’t take it.

Shiro couldn’t stop himself from reaching out, trying to soothe Kuro with a warm hand on his shoulder. But it wasn’t enough to make the nightmares stop…

Fuck the rules.

Soon he found himself huddled up on the small cot next to the other man, arms wrapped around shaking shoulders and metal fingers stroking carefully over a tense back. There were scars on his back. So. So many… Shiro didn’t even want to know what had caused these scars. Or the nightmares.

This man was definitely no monster.

Because monsters

didn’t have nightmares…


I know I promised there will be a happy ending to my Kuro week… But for now… suffer with me? @kuroweek

Heart on the Line (part 1)


You and Bucky had your differences in college, but now you need a place to stay and he needs a roommate, and in order to make ends meet, you two start a phone sex line together.  

“For a Good Time, Call…” AU

author: sugardaddytonystark (formerly buckysbackpackbuckle)
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
word count: 1516
warnings: smutty smut smut and dirty talk (future chapters)

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Heartbeat | 3

A you fall deeper into your arrangement with Hoseok, you learn that there is more to the Kingsnakes than what meets the eye.

pairing: hoseok x reader
genre: gang!au, smut, angst
wordcount: 13k

part one | two | three | four

warnings: dom!hoseok, demeaning names, spanking, rough sex, drug use, violence


You called out his name and he glanced up from where he was perched on your doorstep, a controlled expression on his face. You couldn’t help but feel the prickle of heat at how his eyes stared into yours. He was staring at you with a knowing smirk- it was almost as if he was challenging you, and you were all too ready to accept the challenge he was offering.

“Y/N.” He responded shortly, raking over your body with his eyes. You swallowed thickly, even his stare was laced with intent and it had you more aroused than you cared to admit. 

Hoseok of course noticed your arousal and just raised an eyebrow at you evenly. The smirk on his lips grew as he pulled himself off of your front step, standing up straight so you were face to face, only a few metres apart.

“How was your gallery thing?” He asked dismissively.

“Yeah,” You said. “Good.” 

He looked bored by your words, disinterested in what you had to say, and you wanted to change that. Boldly, you opened your mouth, your breath coming out as an icy puff in the air.

“I kept thinking about how I wanted to fuck you the whole time, though.”

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Oh We're in Love Aren't We?

 Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader

Requested by anon:  “Is that my shirt” for either Lin or Daveed where you guys are best friends and it gets awkward and cute. Please and thank you

Summary: Lin and the reader were best friends all through their teenage years and college days. Like so, life pulls them in separate directions for a few years, only to have them reunite for a special occasion.


Warnings: none, except fluff

A/N PLEASE READ SO THE STORY MAKES SENSE: The story goes back and forth between the present & past. The present is in italics. LET ME KNOW IF IT GETS CONFUSING. Roughly based off of Ed’s ‘Hearts Don’t Break Around Here’..enjoy :)

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Ever so Charming

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Prompt: This is another one that I don’t really have a proper prompt for. I just sort of started writing and this is what happened. It’s a random Saturday night and Peter decided to swing by to the reader’s apartment. Some silly stuff ensues.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,618

AN: I’m sorry that this is so long! I didn’t intend to make this story over two thousand words, but I just started writing and couldn’t stop. I hope you can manage to make it through all my terrible writing. Enjoy!
P.S. I’m also sorry for all the Star Wars references. I can’t help it. I’m a huge Star Wars fan too.

Originally posted by over-et

It was a summer Saturday night in Queens. The mid-July air was warm and humid. Large skyscrapers and constant traffic only helped to increase the stickiness in the air. There was a minor heatwave going through the area. During the night however, without the sun’s relentless beams of light shining down on the asphalt roads, the temperature dropped just enough to make the weather bearable. Just barely though.

This particular night, you were mindlessly spinning around in your desk chair. Scattered all along the surface of your desk were some random notes for an essay that was due by the upcoming Friday. There wasn’t much of a rush to get the thing finished, but you liked to get things done in advanced anyway. Nonetheless, you still found yourself avoiding the essay like it was the plague. You weren’t normally like this. You normally could pump out at least a mediocre paper in maybe a day, but tonight your mind was not having it.

Something was keeping you restless and alert. You weren’t entirely positive what though. Nothing out of the ordinary happened today. You woke up, you ate some food, and you watched some Netflix; everything seemed normal. You racked your brain to try and think of anything that could have possibly caused this random tension, but nothing came up. Sighing, you stopped spinning around in your chair (you were starting to get dizzy) and just stared at your bedroom ceiling. Eventually, you started to calm down.

It was dark in your room. The only light source was your tiny desk lamp that didn’t really illuminate much. You had your window open to try and feign the heat that was stuck in your apartment. Or rather your parent’s apartment, but they were away on some long business trip and left you to your own devices for the week. Stupid mistake, really. The open window didn’t help at all though. All it did was allow the humid outside air to mix with the stiff apartment air. The result was a mixture of stale and oppressive. The only reason you didn’t close the window was because of how purely lazy you were. You were here and the window as there. No matter the distance, it was always too far. So, needless to say, you were not very comfortable.

You glanced back at your notes and made a sour face. At this rate, you were more likely to close the damn window than finish the essay. You finally conceded and sat up a bit to switch off the light. Your room went from dimly lit to almost completely dark. The only source of light now was the faint glow of the city’s shops, cars and street vendors. You closed your eyes and sat in the dark for a while. There was something peaceful about just sitting there and listening to the sounds of the car horns and the clamor of the people. It was all so familiar and calming. You had grown up your entire life in this city. There was no place you’d rather live than here. You were so lost in these thoughts that you failed to hear the subtle movement of someone entering through your open window.

You were just about to drift off to sleep when you heard a loud thump and a muffled groan from behind you. You jumped instantly out of your chair, ran to turn the overhead light on, and quickly grabbed the nearest thing to you to use as a weapon. That item just so happened to be your Millennium Falcon Bluetooth speaker that you got for Christmas one year. You knew it was geeky, but you didn’t really care what others thought about it. You found it to be awesome, and so did your best friend Peter Parker. Not that his opinion mattered any more than everyone else’s. Obviously.

You held the speaker up, ready to swing at whomever had come into your room, and looked down to see a body laying face down on your hardwood floors. When you saw who it was you froze in your spot and your jaw dropped.

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request: “draco x reader with prompt 3 & 9 from the list please” — by anon

a/n: sorry if this was kinda short. hope you like it x

3. “Hypothetically speaking, of course.”
9. “For a minute there, I thought you didn’t know how to smile.”

Masterlist + Request here! 

     There has always been an unknown reason why both you and Draco loved annoying each other. Well, he didn’t try to get on your nerves as much as he did with Potter — which was a good thing — but he did exert great effort to piss you off until you snapped and screamed at him. And as payback, you began to do the same; thus, that was the beginning of your love-hate relationship with him throughout the years of your stay in Hogwarts.

     You were fuming as you rush down the steps on the moving staircases, praying that they won’t change direction or else you were seriously going to hex someone in anger. It was one of times when you were obviously not in a good mood, and right now, the culprit who could be blamed for your sourness was Cormac McLaggen.

     Just as you were about to enter the Great Hall for dinner, Draco Malfoy blocked your way, his sidekicks nowhere in sight which was unusual.

     “Not now, Malfoy.” you gritted your teeth with your forehead still wrinkled.

     He blocked your path when you marched forward. “Y/L/N, what has gotten your knickers in a twist this time?”

     “Not now.” you repeated.

     “What is it?”

     “Malfoy, what part of not now do you not understand?” you glared at him.

     Draco only chuckled. “Let me guess, McLaggen’s pursuing you again? Well, let me tell you, he doesn’t have great taste if he began courting you after he was tired of Granger.”

     He was at least right about something. Cormac had tried to hit on you, backing you up against the wall thinking it was pleasing when you were actually very disgusted by his actions. He then tried to ask you out on a date, which you politely declined, but since he was so full of himself he didn’t take it well.

     You blankly stared at Draco. “Are you done insulting me because if you are I’ll be going now.” you tried to walk pass his way again but this time he held onto your elbow quite firmly.

     He locked his eyes with yours and for a minute there, you thought it showed concern. “If there’s something more that I hate other than mudbloods —” you scoffed at that “— it’s knowing someone out there annoys you more than I do. So, I’ll ask again, what is it?”

     “It doesn’t matter.” you pull away from his hold. “Let’s just say if I had to choose between you and Cormac, I’d choose you. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

     “Is that supposed to be a compliment?” mused Draco.

     You slowly felt your anger fading away, “Yeah, I guess.” you snorted, a small smile creeping on your features.

     The boy in front of you raised his eyebrows, “Well, will you look at that. For a minute there, I thought you didn’t know how to smile.

     “Funny. Don’t push your luck too much, Malfoy.” the smile was still there.

     Draco tucked his hands inside his pockets. “You never answered me, though. What happened?”

     You shrugged. “Nothing. He just got mad I didn’t say yes when he asked me out. Couldn’t take the shame of someone rejecting him, that no good wanker.”

     The both of you chuckled shortly before you looked at the Great Hall, your eyes landing on your house’s table.

     “Well, I’ll get going now. Your friends are probably waiting for you, anyway.” you started striding inside.

     “Y/L/N,” he called just as you were about to walk any farther, one of your eyebrows raising up in question. “If McLaggen bothers you again, tell me about it, would you?”

     You were surprised by what he said; nonetheless, you chuckled and nodded. “Planning to tell your father about it?” you teased and it was his turn to roll his eyes this time.


     Draco then walked inside the Great Hall as well, sitting down beside his cronies at the Slytherin table while you successfully joined your own group of friends. Though just as you sat down and helped yourself with some food, you swore you could feel your blood rising up to your cheeks because of what just happened, resulting you into shaking your head in amusement.

Dating Min Yoongi/ Suga would Include

1. I don’t know if anyone has asked already… But could we get a “dating would include” for us Yoongi stans? Btw I absolutely love your blog😍

2.  May I request you a “dating Suga would include”? Thanks in advance :3

Note: You both requested on the same day, and it made me very happy that I can finally write for my bias wrecker this BTS members. I hope you will enjoy! 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the gifs/images used. 

In the Daytime

Originally posted by yoonkooks

  • This lovable man is going to be the best boyfriend on the planet
  • Waking up in the morning consists of you telling him that you both need to get up and his response being “five more minutes” for the next half an hour as he holds you in his arms.
  • Him not being able to function until he’s had a cup of coffee
  • Him kissing you on the cheek everyday before he leaves for work
  • Unless you’ve had an argument
  • That’s when you know shits serious when he doesn’t give you that “goodbye I’m off to work” kiss
  • Him having a busy schedule, but always making time for you in his day even if it means he loses out on sleep
  • Him working long hours into the night in the recording studio to write songs for BTS
  • It isn’t unheard of for you to go there to find him asleep in the most uncomfortable positions
  • You bringing him home because you don’t want him to have a crippled back before he’s reached 30
  • Him writing songs for you that no one ever hears except for him and you
  • Lost of humming, rapping and singing around the house. 
  • Especially while he’s playing the piano. 
  • Which you never get tired of watching because oml who can resist the way he looks so passionate when he’s playing music and his long fingers are pressing against every perfect note
  • If he’s feeling generous he’ll let you sit on his knee and teach you a few simple songs to play on the piano
  • Him being private about your relationship but still taking you out on dates because he knows you love it
  • Hates being teased, especially when you’re around
  • “J-Hope I will kick your fucking ass if you don’t shut up.” 
  • Him getting embarrassed when the others tease him about his sex life
  • “I saw {y/n} had a few hickeys on her neck earlier, there was like one or two… or ten.” 
  • “J-HOPE!”
  • Him making you playlists full of songs that remind him of you, the relationship or times you’ve shared together. 
  • Smiling when it brings you to tears of joy because nothing makes him happier than seeing you happy. 
  • Him holding your hand when he’s nervous. 
  • His thumb will rub the back of your hand and his clasp will become tighter as his nerves run high. 
  • Being the most supportive person on the planet.
  • “If you want to do that Jagi, I will support you the whole way through.” 
  • Him taking secret photos of you when you’re not looking because those are what real beauty is to him. 
  • Like his lock screen is a picture of you looking up in awe at a fireworks display and he treasures it more than life.
  • Min Yoongi being the best fucking boyfriend on the damn Earth. 

At Nighttime

Originally posted by bwiseoks

  • Since he’s busy in the day time most of the time your true hanging out time will more than likely be in the evening 
  • The two of you cuddling on the sofa and watching a film together
  • Except the film is long forgotten about since you started kissing
  • Him leaving small kisses all over your face and neck to show you how much he loves you in smaller gestures
  • You sitting between his legs as you play video games together
  • Him ticking your sides when you’re about to win to he can catch you off guard and take over. 
  • “You cheated!”
  • “N’aww c’mere Jagi~” 
  • Hugging you tightly until you’re over your grudge which usually lasts about 5 seconds let’s be honest, who can be mad at him?
  • Him taking you out to basketball courts in the dead of night because no one else will be around to see you two together
  • Him teaching you how to score a basket
  • His arms holding the ball with you from behind as he teaches you how to position yourself and aim the ball. 
  • Picking you up and spinning you around when you score your first basket on your own. 
  • Him taking you out for night time drives when there’s no one around
  • Blasting music out the windows because it makes you both happy and who is around to judge or give a fuck?
  • backsteat car sex
  • The two of you cuddling up in bed gives him life
  • But sometimes he needs to be more intimate
  • rough sex
  • You telling him you’d like him to be more dominant and thinking he’s forgotten about it until he pushes you up against the wall and starts showing you whose really in charge. 
  • marks, scratches and love bites that get you both into shit
  • “Yoongi, how many times have I told you to stop getting those ugly marks.” 
  • “How many times have I told you I really don’t give a fuck what you think about my ugly marks, Jin.” 
  • Smirking when he see’s the other member’s jealousy, or Jungkook’s blushing, because you’re his and nothing will change that. 
Right Under Their Noses

A/N: An anon request where the reader is really innocent, or she seems to be. She’s an intern for the BAU and does all these things that drive Reid crazy. One day he loses it, one thing leads to another, and some stuff happens at work ;) @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn


It had been three months since Y/N had started at the Bureau as an intern and it was safe to say he was losing his goddamn mind. If she wears that pencil skirt again I’m going to explode. When he looked up, sure enough, there she was, walking out from the elevator in that black pencil skirt that hugged her curves to perfection, accompanied by a purple silk blouse that flowed loosely around her and a delicate silver necklace that ended just above her breasts. She has to know where that draws the eye? Right? 

As she headed toward his desk, he put his head in his hands, hoping to wipe the image of Y/N pinned up against the wall and his lips against her neck out of his mind. But no such luck. “Hey, Spencer,” she greeted. She bit her lip just slightly before she smiled; he’d noticed that she did it with him and with Emily, but no one else. “How are you this morning?”

Besides imagining your legs around my waist and your lips on mine, I’m swell Y/N. But that obviously couldn’t come out of his mouth, so instead he composed himself and decided on something less forward. “I’m okay. A little wired this morning. Probably too much caffeine. But otherwise okay.”

“That’s good,” she said softly, stifling a yawn as she turned toward the coffee maker. “I’m the opposite. I haven’t had any caffeine this morning. After I get a cup for myself is there anything I can help with?”

Y/N was low on the totem pole, even when it came to interns. She was a top-notch cyber hacker, just like Garcia, but she still needed fine-tuning to do what Garcia did, so she was here to work with her, and when Garcia had nothing for her to do, or there was no case, she was supposed to help any other member of the BAU with whatever they needed. A lot of times that meant grabbing coffee, fetching papers, and digging up files from the cabinets downstairs. “Well, if you wouldn’t mind grabbing me another cup of coffee while you’re over there I would appreciate it, and I do need some files from downstairs.”

“No problem.” Spinning on her heels, she headed back to the coffee machine before turning around once more. “You take coffee with your sugar, right?”

“Yea. Bad habit.” When she giggled, everything about her shined even brighter than before. Her soft curls bounced with each laugh. The laugh lines around her eyes crinkled - some might be put off by lines, but to him, they just proved how care free and light-hearted she was, which only made him like her more. Heart-shaped lips opened up into a giant grin. Basically, she smiled with her whole body.

As she finally went to grab coffee, he watched as she hurriedly grabbed cups, placing them where they needed to be before pressing the needed buttons on the machine. In her haste, a piece of her hair fell in front of her face. He watched as she blew a puff of air upward to move the piece of hair, and he couldn’t help but laugh as she repeated the motion over and over again; nothing was working. You must stop doing that. It was embarrassing how badly he had it for her. It was the simple things he did that drove him crazy. When she was running around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to get everything for everyone (and succeeding), she’d place her phone in her bra, so he’d be tortured every time she touched herself. If she put her hair back, he nearly lost it - something about the act of her putting her hair up turned him on. Probably because you’re imagining what she might be doing immediately following putting her hair up.

It was basically pathetic. And it was getting to the point where other people were noticing. Morgan had, on more than one occasion, come up behind him and slapped him on the shoulders, saying he should just go for it because he obviously had it bad. He was so lost in his daydream, imaging her lips around his cock, when she came back with his coffee. Not appropriate, Spencer. “Now what files do you need?” she asked, placing his sugared coffee down on the desk.

Doing his best to keep the images out of his head (and failing miserably), he handed her a list of file numbers that he was looking for. “Okay, I’m still getting used to the system down there, which I think is going to go the way of the dodo soon because Penelope wants to make everything digital, but it’ll take me a bit to find them. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Again, a piece of hair fell in front of her face and she grunted, clearly having what women called a ‘bad hair day.’ “The hair does not want to cooperate with me today.” The laugh that rumbled through her sent delicious shivers up his spine. He was not going to be able to go much longer without at least telling her how he felt about her. Not the I-wanna-fuck-you-up-against-a-wall thing, but the I-think-we-could-be-really-good-together thing.

Quickly, she turned around and put her hair up, sauntering away, leaving Spencer to stare at her ass as she rounded the corner to the staircase. I can’t do it. He stood up from the desk. I have to say something. At least, if she knows and doesn’t feel the same way, I can find a way to move past it. I have to know. She had a few minutes on him, but he’d probably be catching her just as she got to the file room.

Apparently, he’d been in some kind of state (which sucked because he thought he was masking it), because the second he stepped into the file room, Y/N spun around and dropped a file. “Oh, Spencer,” she breathed, “It’s just you. You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he said honestly. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Did you forget a case number you need?” Another thing she did was pushing her tongue up against her teeth when she smiled. There was something about it that was so sweet, he couldn’t help but crush harder anytime he saw her do it. 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “No, the cases are fine. It’s me.”

“You? What’s you?”

“I like you,” he said. Well, didn’t expect it to come out that quickly. Goddammit. “A lot.”

“Really?” She inhaled sharply, subconsciously placing her hand on her chest. Don’t do that. “Why me? I’m a nobody.” Did she really think that?

“Not to me,” he replied. “Ever since you started, I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re sweet, kind, funny, intelligent, not to mention beautiful.”

“I had no idea you felt that way about me,” she said. “Umm, I would be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about you too - a lot.” The blush that accompanied that last bit made him think that maybe ‘thinking about him’ meant exactly what he thought it meant.

Well that’s a relief. Locking the door behind him, he closed the space between them and brought her flush against him. At first, the kiss was tentative, feeling things out and trying to see if what they’d built up in their heads was just that or if it was real. He ran his lips up the side of her neck and back toward her lips and felt a jolt roll through him. This was without a doubt real. “Does that camera work?” she asked, looking toward the one camera above their heads. 

“It doesn’t,” he breathed. With the risk of getting caught cut down to almost nothing, she unbuttoned her blouse, revealing a black, lacy bra, while he hitched up her skirt. Her panties matched. “You’re gorgeous.”

She palmed the bulge in his pants and licked her lips. The gesture was sexual before, but now, he was near explosion. Backing herself into the wall, she lifted her legs up around his waist and pulled the lace to the side. “Are you sure?” he asked. “I don’t want you to think that this is all I want. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t want this too.”

“Everyone has two sides to them, Spencer,” she breathed into his ear. “You said I was sweet. Well, I am, but I can be not so sweet too. I want this. You. Now.” Thank whatever deity existed. He reached down and pushed his boxers off as much as was necessary. When he slid inside her, both let out an audible groan, which they had to stifle for fear of being heard. 

He pushed up, luxuriating in the feel of her legs gripping tighter around his waist. “Go ahead,” she said, biting down gently on his earlobe. “Fuck me while our co-workers are upstairs.” He was pretty sure he was about to explode into a billion little pieces. Her hands had wandered to behind his head, but he really wanted to fulfill that image in his head of taking her up against the wall, so he reached back, grabbed both of her hands and placed them above her head so he was in control. “Oh my god.”

As he pushed up into her wet heat over and over again, the silk blouse fell to the sides revealing taut peaks underneath delicate lace. He buried his face into her chest as she arched back off the wall, moaning his name in his ear. “You’re so wet,” he breathed, licking a trail up her chest and meeting her lips again. 

“For you. I’ve thought very bad things about you since I started.”

“Like what?”

She bore down with her pelvic muscles, constricting his cock in such a way that he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. “Well, the first thing I thought about was having my lips around your cock.”

He grunted at the thought and pushed into her one last time, before pulling out and spilling into his hand. They were already cutting it close with time and location. The last thing they needed was a mess. She pushed off of him and buttoned her blouse again, fixing her skirt so that no one would be any the wiser, while he cleaned himself up with a tissue. “Now I’m gonna go to the bathroom to clean myself up, but maybe later…”

“Yes,” he said, giving her a kiss and stuffing the tissue into his pocket. “First things first, your lips around me.”

“And then your lips on me.”

Dim Rooms & Daddy Kinks

Genre: Smut

A/N: Thank you so much, sweet anon!! I genuinely adored this prompt so much and loved writing this!! Thank you for reading my first proper fic on this blog!

Word Count: 2420

Warnings: Daddy Kink, Age Gaps (Dan’s 17 and Phil’s 21) that’s really it

You can read this and my other older fics on AO3 here

Keep reading

All of you:



Conor Maynard Imagine - Crazy (SMUT)

It wasn’t until you were right in front of your wardrobe than you realized you had actually nothing to wear. You had just finished filming some kind of weird, fun challenge with Conor in your flat, and while he cleaned up all the mess in your living room, you were stressing out about what to wear to that goddamn date.

Suddenly, Conor’s head popped from behind your door “Y/N” he called, and seeing that you were fully clothed and just standing there, chewing your nail nervously, he walked in “Hey, what’s the nervousness all about?”

He gave you a side hug and a tender kiss on top of your head. You leaned against him, considering that maybe that black cocktail dress in front of you wasn’t a bad idea at all.

“I’m just stressing over my outfit” you told him, releasing yourself from his touch to grab the dress “Nothing new” you held the piece of clothing in front of you and showed it to him “Opinions?”

Conor’s mind flirted with the idea of actually seeing you in that dress. Every time you wore something like that, you always caught him giving you a look from head to toes, admiring how the fabric hugged your curves. But you ignored him, as you weren’t supposed to notice his lusty stares.

Your relationship with him was rather strange. Sure, he was one of your best friends. Yet he wasn’t like Josh or Oli; you actually wouldn’t mind banging Conor if you had the chance. 

You were playful with one another. Any time you could, your hands would travel to each other’s body, half of the time in a soft, friendly way. But the other half of the time, you could actually feel his fingers burning on your skin, his grip tightening around your waist in the roughest way you had ever seen. But you liked it.

“Why would you need to wear that for?” he asked, and you realized you hadn’t told him about your date.

The truth was, even if your heart ached for him in ways you would have never imagined, you weren’t made of stone. He never made a move, never let it slip that he actually wanted to be more than friends. So when this cute boy hit on you through Tinder, you weren’t going to say no.

“Tinder date tonight” you simply said, turning back to the pile of clothes you had behind you.

You bent over to grab a white blouse, and Conor’s eyes couldn’t help but wander towards your hips and downwards. He licked his lips. 

Conor wasn’t the ladies type of man, at least not as intensely as his brother. Sure, he had brought this and that girl home for some night fun, but he kept it all for himself. Every time he was with you, his insides melted. You were his only girl friend after all, and as time passed by, his friendly feelings towards you increased until he found out they weren’t so friendly anymore.

The first time he looked at you with different eyes, you were celebrating Joe’s 25th birthday. You were wearing a simple tight black skirt with ankle boots and a white blouse with stripes. Yet every time he landed his eyes on you, all he wanted to do was to pull you closer and never let go. He realized he wanted to protect you, to see your smile every day, to hold you while you slept. He drank to ease the unexpected pain of seeing you dance with another guy.

The second stage overcame him not soon afterwards. It happened while you were alone at his flat, watching some silly cartoon movie which always made you laugh, because you were on your period and all you wanted to do was to die.

But when he saw you in those ridiculously short pyjama pants and a loose t-shirt that once belonged to him, which also accidentaly revealed that you had no bra on, he had to control himself. Having you all cuddled up against his side wasn’t helping either. While the silly little chicken on TV was running around, all he could think of was how hot you’d look if he pinned you up against a wall and thrusted into you until your throat couldn’t take more screaming. He took a cold shower afterwards.

“Oh, alright” you heard him say as you stood back up again. His tone made you raise an eyebrow “Have fun then”

You turned back to him, frowning “Is there any problem with it?” you asked him, but you immediately noticed he wasn’t looking at you. Well, he was, but more specifically he was looking at your uncovered stomach and how bad he wanted to uncover the rest of it.

“Earth to Conor” you called him, waving a hand in front of you.

He snapped his eyes back up to look at you “Nothing’s wrong” he said, as if nothing had happened.

Still not convinced, you turned around again, getting on your tiptoes to reach the top shelf “Shit” you mumbled, not being capable of reaching it whatsoever. Suddenly, you felt a pair of cold hands on your bare skin, lifting you up. With no effort, you grabbed the bag you were looking for.

“Thanks, Con” you said once your feet touched the ground again. But his hands, now warmer, were still on your waist “You c-” before you could finish, you felt Conor’s lips on your neck, making you drop the bag with a loud bang.

His grip tightened around you. You moved your hands on top of his, suddenly wanting to feel his touch more than ever. You tilted your head back as he sucked on your neck, working his way up and down. You didn’t know what was going on, but you sure weren’t going to stop it.

Eventually, you turned around to meet Conor’s lusty eyes staring right back at yours. You licked your lips before attacking his heatedly, not even waiting to slip your tongue in. His hands travelled to your bum, squeezing it as you jumped and wrapped your legs around his torso. You sucked behind his ear, making him groan.

“Someone was jealous after all” you managed to breathe out as he kissed your neck again. You thought he was bound to leave a mark.

He hit that spot behind your ear, and you let out a small moan as your grip on his waist tightened, your legs unconciously pushing against his hips “Fuck” he whispered, and you thought it was the sexiest you had ever seen it.

He pushed you against the wall, a knee pressed between your legs to hold you as he rapidly took your top and your bra off. You felt the warmth of his mouth on your chest, and it was making your lower parts ache with anticipation.

You took his jumper off and attempted to remove his belt when he grabbed your hand and put it above your head “And to think that you were about to go out with that idiot” he breathed on your ear “When I can make you feel ten times better” he finished, and you smashed your lips against his again.

His hand roamed the elastic of your jeans until they made their way inside them and under your underwear. Conor stuck his middle finger inside you, the sudden feeling of something inside you making you groan “You’re so fucking wet already” Conor whispered, indroducing yet another finger inside you. You let out a high-pitched scream as he thrusted in and out quickly “I’m gonna have to dry you up”

Before you could blink, your jeans and underwear were flying across the room. Conor held your hips and pressed your body against he wall as he kneeled down in front of your entrance. You pushed at his hair once his tongue filled you, your legs tembling on his shoulders. 

“Fuck, Conor” you shouted, hoping the neighbours were not at home or it’d be extremely embarrassing to run into them ever again. You screamed his name again as you felt your high approaching, not being able to hold yourself back.

Seconds before you were about to come, Conor’s mouth left your lower parts, making you groan in annoyance “Conor, I swear to god” you mid-screamed “I can’t take it anymore”

He sucked on your neck again, his favourite spot of yours “What do you want me to do, baby?” he asked on your ear. Your hips pulled against his even more.

“Just fuck me already, Conor” you groaned, and before you knew it, his pants followed yours as he pulled himself inside you. You whined. He didn’t give you any time to adjust to his width, as he started banging you against the wall roughly, something you had never imagined he was capable of. He always looked so sweet and inoccent. The thought of him being rough and dominant just to you turned you on even more.

He groaned in pleasure as your walls clentched around his member, only making him pound you faster and faster. You were a screaming mess. Your bodies were sweating as you held to one another, making each other feel as if nothing else in the world mattered besides what was happening on that wall.

You came seconds before he did, the sloppiness making you feel dirtier than ever. When Conor rode out his high, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug like the ones he always gave you. Only this time, he was also inside you.

“That was…” you said as you tried to catch your breath “Something else”

His head was on your shoulder as you rubbed his hair “I fucking loved that, Y/N” he spoke, rising his head to give you a soft kiss on the lips.

“I guess I’m not going to any dates tonight” you smiled, brushing your finger against his sweaty cheek as he smiled back at you.

“You are” he said “But with me”

You smiled again, kissing his fully lips as if it were the first time you tasted them “You’re crazy” you said.

His lips went to your jaw. He kissed it sweetly, making the butterflies of your stomach go insane “That’s why I like you” he said “Because you’re fucking crazier”

Let Me Take Care of You

A/N I’ve been seeing so many pictures of Chanyeol holding his hip lately, and it makes me so sad that he’s hurt. I don’t have a firm bias in EXO, but Chanyeol is the one who caught my attention first, so I feel like he’s my main bias.

So because I just want to take care of the adorable giant, I thought I’d write a really cute scenario about it. I hope you like it- xoxo

P.S mention of sex, nothing to be worried about though, just cheeky Chanyeol.

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Park Chanyeol/ Reader

Requested: No

(Requests are open)

gif isn’t mine, credit to the owner.

Originally posted by fyeah-chanyeol

It was that time of year that your boyfriends group had a comeback. Exo had only just finished promotions for Ko Ko Bop and yet here they were promoting for their new single Power, and their new repackage album. You always hated how hard SM worked these boys, but you loved the glow they all got when performing for their fans, and there was nothing you loved more than to see the spark in your boyfriends eyes as he looked out at all the Exo-L supporting him and the boys.

 You never protest or grumble about the amount of work they each have to do. But when it comes to the point where your beautiful giant of a man is hurting, that’s when you have something to say.

You sat in their dressing room,surrounded by various staff members, looking up at a TV, watching their little fan-meeting. You hadn’t seen Chanyeol for a few weeks, as he has been busy with the comeback preparations. So when you saw Baekhyun helping Chanyeol up the steps, you knew that something was wrong, and he hadn’t told you. As the group prepared to perform their first song, you noticed Chanyeol seat himself off to the side of everyone, holding onto his hip. Something was definitely wrong.

The whole fan-meeting you didn’t take your eyes off of him, and this time it wasn’t for the reasons you’re normally fixated on him. He was still the happy Chanyeol you love, with the beaming smile. But there was something else too. The little flickers of pain crossing his face. The little twitches he makes when he had moved too fast and hurt his hip. All you wanted to do was pull him off of that stage and make him rest, maybe have a warm bath to ease the pain. But the Chanyeol still didn’t know you were there yet and you couldn’t really risk showing yourself right now. 

You stood in your spot in front of the TV, anchored in place as you waited for it to end. As the boys were saying their goodbyes, you turned towards the door, anxiety bubbling in the pit of your stomach. Anxious to see your lovable boyfriend, but also anxious at the fact you would see how hurt he actually is. 

You could hear them before you could see them. The noise from them instantly bringing a smile to your face and slightly settling the feeling in your stomach. The first one you saw was Sehun, he smiled as soon as he saw you, making your smile wider. When you looked past him you saw your boyfriend, glued to his side, Baekhyun, who’s hand was placed on the small of his back, guiding him into the room. You saw the crease in his forehead, concentrating on his hip, he didn’t notice you stood in the middle of the room until Baekhyun gave him a gentle pat signaling him to look up. 

His famous smile took over his face as soon as he saw you, making your heart swell at the sight. He walked out of Baekhyun’s light hold to reach you, his arms reaching out to pull you into his chest. 

You made a small ‘oof’ sound as you collided with his hard chest. You snuggled into him as you felt him hold you tighter. 

“I didn’t know you were coming.” His low voice whispered in your ear. 

“Well I missed my boyfriend, and thought I’d surprise you.” You pulled away looking up at him, smiling softly. “Surprise.” His deep chuckle filled your ears, as you looked into each others eyes, you remembered all the reasons you love him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were injured?” You questioned, hands on his chest, as you looked at him, expectant for an answer.

“I didn’t want to worry you, I knew you would be reluctant towards me doing my schedules.” Chanyeol sighs.

“I’d be reluctant yes, but I wouldn’t stop you performing for your fans, if you told me I could’ve looked after you after schedules. And I always worry about you Yeol, it’s because I love you.” Chanyeol smiled at you, his hands reaching to cup your face. “And also you’re so damn clumsy, i’m worried one day you’re going to dance yourself off of the side of the stage.” You smirked up at him as he laughed at you, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. 

“I love you too.” He whispered into your hairline, moving away from you to look at you.

“As cute as this is hyung, I’m tired and hungry and we all need to get ready to leave, but you’re taking your sweet time wrapping this up.” Sehun sassed at his elder. Chanyeol raised his fist at him jokingly. 

You moved out of your boyfriends hold. As he turned to look back at you, you saw the pout that had adorned his face, making your heart once again swell. making you think to yourself, Yah Chanyeol you’re bad for my health!

You smiled at him, pushing him towards the boys lightly, scared you’ll aggravate his injury. “Go get ready, I’ll be right outside.”

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Chanyeol’s arms found their way to your waist, not yet ready to let you go.

“I mean as long as it’s okay with the guys.” You said looking at Junmyeon for an answer.

“You’re welcome to have him, we don’t have a schedule tomorrow anyway.” You smiled at Junmyeon in thanks, your mind being put at ease at the fact that you will be able to look after Chanyeol, even if it’s only for a day. You looked back at Chanyeol giving him a kiss on his cheek. 

“I’ll be outside waiting.” Smiling you walked outside the dressing room, shutting the door behind you. You leant up against the wall opposite, thinking of how you were going to pamper your injured puppy when you got home, first on the agenda, a nice warm bath.

You were interrupted by, once again, Chanyeol’s hands sneaking around your waist. His lips kissing your hairline. “Ready?” He asked, you nodded, heading out to the car park just behind the place. You said goodbye to the rest of the boys, and soon enough you were on your way to your apartment.

As you stepped into your apartment, Chanyeol once again wrapped his arms around you.

“Yah Chanyeol you need to rest.” You playfully glared at him.

“But i’ve missed you.” He pouts at you. You smile up at him, your left hand moving up to run through his newly dyed blue hair. 

“Nice hair.” You smirked up at him. your answer was the meeting of his lips on yours. You closed your eyes, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy, as they always did every time Chanyeol kissed you. Your other hand came up to join the left in his hair. You parted from him slowly, leaving him with one last peck on his lips.

“Soooo i’m guessing with my bad hip and all, sex is out of the picture.” Chanyeol smiled cheekily at you. 

“With the way you are, I think it would be best to not move too vigorously, don’t you?” You smirked up at him.

“I mean I don’t have to be on top, I don’t even have to move.” He smirked back at you.

“We both know that’s not gonna work, is it?.”

“Was worth a try.” You kissed him on the lips, moving out of his grasp to walk down the hallway. “Where are you going?” He questioned, following you like the puppy he is.

“Running you a bath.” You entered the bathroom, looking through your cupboard for one of your favourite bath bombs. You heard a dramatic gasp behind you, causing you to turn around in alarm. 

“You’re going to let me use one of your sacred bath bombs? I must be blessed to get the privilege.” You rolled your eyes at your tall boyfriend.

“You only ever have showers here, so you’ve never given yourself the chance to use one, that’s not my fault.”

“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy the showers.” You heard his voice closer to your ear, as he pressed himself up against you, looking in the same cupboard as you, quickly retrieving the orb or wonderfulness you had been looking for. You took it from him, placing it on the side. Turning the taps on your bath, you knelt beside the tub, waiting for it to fill at a perfect depth so you called drop the product into it, constantly testing the temperature. As soon as the bath was drawn, you looked up to your, now half naked boyfriend, your hand outstretched, asking him to hand you the bath bomb. 

You watched as it swirled and fizzed in the water, releasing lines of amber, meeting the contrasting coolness of the blue colour from the other side of the product. 

You stood up to face your boyfriend, your hands reaching the waistband of his tight jeans. You looked down as you unbuttoned them, moving the zipper down, and slowly pushing his jeans to the floor to leave him in his underwear. 

“I thought you said no sex.” Chanyeol teased.

“I did. But I want to take care of you.” Your eyes met his. “Let me take care of you.” He smiled down at you. Before you could remove his boxers, his hands met yours, and you looked up at him once again. 

“Will you get in with me.” You nodded, there’s not a lot that you would deny Chanyeol, and with that once sentence you could feel how much he’s be missing you, the emotion in his eyes confirming just as much. You pulled away to let him remove your cardigan from your frame, your t-shirt and jeans following. You looked at each other stood in your underwear. Your hands went back to his underwear, pulling them down, your eyes still on his. when he was fully naked, you lightly pushed him towards the bath tub, urging him to get in. A soft moan left him as the warm water soothed his aching muscles. You followed him, ridding yourself of your underwear, climbing into the bath behind him.

“I imagined this a little differently.” He chuckled in front of you. Your brow furrowed in confusion.

“How so?”

“I imagined you to be in front of me, or on my lap.” You smiled at his thoughts.

“Well tonight i’m taking care of you, so that can wait for another day.”

“There’s a lot of things we have scheduled for another day, won’t you be tired out? maybe i’ll have to bathe you instead that day.” You blushed at the meaning to his words. You worked to put your hair into a bun, as to not get it wet. Grabbing a sponge you started to work in small circles, scrubbing your boyfriends back. He sighed in content as you worked into helping him relax. 

You left kisses on the broad expanse of his shoulder, and on the back of his neck. You softly and slowly worked on the small of his back, worried that if you worked any harder it would hurt him. 

“I’m not going to break you know.” His deep voice whispered, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen upon you.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” You kissed his shoulder. His head turned to the side so he could look at you, making eye contact with you, as a serious expression overtook his face.

“You could never hurt me y/n.” 

“I know, I never intend to.” You answered

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” You smiled at him

You continued to pamper your boyfriend, teasing comments being thrown your way, as he tried to convince you that having sex would not leave his waist in more pain, and that it would benefit the both of you. You simply laughed at him, telling him to behave himself. you washed his chest from behind, and his abs, because, well you just couldn’t help yourself.

You left him to wash the rest of himself, as you lathered shampoo into his hair, laughing and giggling at anything and everything. Because that’s just how you and Chanyeol were.

All too quickly he was helping you out of the bath and wrapping a towel around you. You held on to his hand, leading him to your bedroom, both of you getting dressed in comfy clothes. Him in an oversized jumper and sweatpants, and you in one of his big t-shirts. 

“Do you want pizza or chicken?” You asked as you dried his hair with a towel.

“Ah I should probably eat healthily with the comeback and all.” You took the towel away from him, glaring down at him.

“It is one night, they’ll never know, plus you need to eat more anyways, so i’m going to order both.” He shook his head at you, as you went to order the food.

Soon enough you were both cuddled up on the sofa, watching as many films as you could. Chanyeol trying, and failing, at feeding you pizza romantically. Half way through your fifth film, you started to drift off.

“Lets go to bed, I think we both need sleep.” Chanyeol pulled you off of the sofa, turning the TV off. Chanyeol took off the baggy jumper he had on, climbing onto the side of your bed he now occupies. You followed him, snuggling into his side, feeling his warmth, as your hand moved up and down his chest.

“Thank you.” You looked up at your boyfriend, urging him to carry on with what he wanted to say. “For today, for coming to see me, even though the injury hasn’t gone away, I feel better, all thanks to you.” He kissed the top of your head.

“You know I’m always here for you, if you ever get hurt or just feel a little down, i’m always here. I love you and I just want to make you feel better. You look after me enough, I should get to look after you.”

“I love you so much”. was the last thing he said to you before his lips captures yours in a loving kiss. You both slept soundly, knowing that you both cared for each other deeply, and that the love ran deeper. 

{Mafia AU Reaction} When EXO are in the mafia and you’re their wife but you try and run away

Hey! I love your writing! I was wondering if you could kinda do like an EXO mafia!AU you’re in an arranged marriage where you try to run away but end up getting caught by him???

Note: I almost just died writing this, but it’s okay I somehow survived, though I have acquired a shot of Mafia!EXO feels, thanks anon ;) teehee~ I had a lot of fun with this, I hope you will all enjoy it and especially the anon who requested it. Fighting!

Disclaimer: I don’t own the gifs/images used.

Park Chanyeol

Originally posted by fy-sexo-exo

In the mafia, Chanyeol deals with drugs, or does simple missions because he isn’t suited to the hard jobs. Chanyeol grows attachments easily, and that can sometimes interfere with his work, so he’s never given the emotionally difficult jobs. Kris’ tough, but he’s not a heartless bastard - and Chanyeol is grateful for that. His emotional side is what drew you to Chanyeol in the first place, you thought you could change him, bring him back and have a nice normal life together. But those were your vulnerable days, and now, married, you realise how stupid you’d been. Running away seemed like the only plausible thing to do, for your own good, but running away from Chanyeol and his gang members was never going to be so simple.

Chanyeol: “Why did you try to run away?”

{y/n}: “Can’t you see what this is doing to me? I can’t live like this!”

Chanyeol: “One more chance… Please… I can change, I promise.”

Do Kyungsoo

Originally posted by jonginssoo

You want to run away from Do Kyungsoo? Yeah, you’re delusional. You signed that marriage contract, there’s no way you’re getting away from this man. Kyungsoo, professionally known as D.O., is not lighthearted, he’s ruthless, a cold killer, so a simple runaway isn’t going to phase him at all. As soon as he caught you, he simply smiled, in this spine shivering way and pulled you in with one arm wrapped around your waist, his other hand occupying a knife that he placed next to your neck, grazing lightly against the skin teasingly.

Kyungsoo: “Thought you’d run, did you? Well Jagi, I’m afraid to tell you that you’re stuck, I’m your fate now.”

{y/n}: “You’re crazy.”

Kyungsoo: “Crazy in love with you, my dear. And it won’t be long until you feel the same way about me. But for now, I think I owe you a punishment.”

Byun Baekhyun

Originally posted by ohsexyguys

Baekhyun is a part of the EXO gang, but his job isn’t as mainstream as the others. Instead, he’s more of a male prostitute, and sells his body for money and secrets. If EXO needs to get information on another gang or the government, Baekhyun will pull his skills on any man or woman and has their every thought rolling off their tongues within seconds. But he has a heart, and when he finds out he’s marrying you, it throws him off guard a lot. It doesn’t feel right continuing in the job he i doing, but he only does something about it when he finds out that you’ve run away.

Baekhyun: “I’m sorry {y/n}, I know it’s hard on you.”

{y/n}: “I can’t be with a man that sleeps with other people.”

Baekhyun: “Then I’ll change, please don’t leave me. This can really work between us, I promise.”

Oh Sehun

Originally posted by fy-sexo-exo

Sehun was most likely the most pissed off out of all the members when he found out that he was arranged to be married with you. It had been your families that had decided on it. Little did you or his family know about his underground life as a mafia worker. When you found out, you were sworn to secrecy, with not only Sehun on your back, but also his boss, Kim Junmyeon too. When you were officially Sehun’s wife, you realised how hard this life was going to be. You didn’t know what Sehun did when he went ‘off to work’ and a part of you really didn’t want to know. But your mind did wander, did he kill others? Is he dead? Is he having sex with another women? It would explain him coming home so late and stumbling into bed around 4am after not seeing you for hours. This built up over time, until you finally decided to run away - to make a new life, but getting away from this wasn’t as simple as you anticipated.

Sehun: *Pins you up against the wall* “And where did you think you were going?”

{y/n}: “The store, we ran out of-”

Sehun: “You had a suitcase! You’re not getting away from me, {y/n}. This is your life now, if you run away, there’s nothing I can do to help you. Junmyeon will track you down and kill you, you know too much.”

{y/n}: “Maybe it’s better than living like this!”

Sehun: *Hides his hurt - but too stubborn to show it* “Whatever {y/n}, do whatever you want, I’ll let Junmyeon kill you for all I care!” *wouldn’t actually, he’d probably sacrifice himself for you tbh*

Zhang Yixing/ Lay

Originally posted by archive-gif-source

If you’ve ever thought running away from Zhang Yixing, then you’ve got another thing coming. You signed that marriage contract, and now you’re his, and he likes to remind you of that a hell of a lot. His job in the mafia is the ‘sweetheart scam.’ he acts innocent, but like hell is he. He gets all the pretty little details from people with the eyes of a puppy until he doesn’t need him, and that’s when his true devilish eyes show. Seeing Yixing is like seeing red, he’s a demon with the face of an angel. A fallen angel. That’s what he is.

Yixing: “But sweetheart, why are all your clothes laid out on the bed, are you going somewhere?” *somehow his sweet tone is more terrifying than if he was angry*

{y/n}: “I- I was just… sorting through them, I need to throw some away.”

Yixing: “Oh good, for a moment there, I thought you were planning on running. But you’re not that stupid, are you? {y/n}, because you know you can never run away jagi, you’re all mine.” *Hugs you from behind, smirking into your hair this lil’ shit wrecks everyone oml*

Kim Jongdae/ Chen

Originally posted by exoxoolf

Since Jongdae is the master of kidnapping, there isn’t much chance of you getting very far however hard you try. He knew you’d escaped the second he came home after a job one evening. He knew you’d been acting more withdrawn than usual, and he saw your change of personality - but he never thought you’d actually try and runaway. With the help of his mastermind friend, Minseok, he managed to trakc you down before shooting off into the night to bring you back.

{y/n}: “I can’t believe you kidnapped me! Let me go!”

Jongdae: “The door is just over there… if you can get to it, that is.”

Kim Minseok/ Xiumin

Originally posted by yumikasai

Minseok is a man of many talents. Mainly, he’s the computer man, he can hack any code, and can sweet talk anyone he needs information from, he’s the master of cyber stalking. But his talents don’t stop there, he doesn’t make a bad field man either, and he certainly never lacks in the seduction category. He was more than likely the most shocked when he found out about his arranged marriage. Minseok isn’t stupid, he knows it would be dangerous for both of you in this relationship, but on the other hand, what does he want more - his job? Or his dream life where he can settle down with a beautiful partner like yourself?

Minseok: *Finally finds you after looking for two days straight without rest.* “Bloody hell {y/n}, do you know how worried I was?!”

{y/n}: “Oh I’m sure you were in shambles while you fucked that other girl.”

Minseok: “You know all of that is for my job…”

{y/n}: “If you don’t stop then all of this will go in my history and I’ll move on!”

Minseok: “I’m not going to let you, not that easily.”

Huang Zitao/ Tao

Originally posted by kim-jongmin

Tao is the main assassin for the mafia alongside Kyungsoo. He’s lethal and powerful. He’s not just strong with his body, but he’s also a martial artist. He might not be as good at shooting a gun long range like Kyungsoo, but he has the combat, and getting anywhere near this man will have you six feet under within seconds. When he found out that you had run away from him, he wasn’t happy, and set straight out to look for you without really thinking too much about a strategy. When he finally found you in a hotel room not too far from where you and he live, he pushed you up against the wall, holding you tightly to show his control.

Tao: “You made a bad decision today {y/n}, and now you’re going to pay.”

Kim Junmyeon/ Suho

Originally posted by baekintime

Kris is the leader of the mafia, but everyone knows that Suho runs the show. He’s good to look at, posh suits and expensive cars, but don’t be deluded by his false sense of security, this man could do a lot of damage. One of the other members heard you packing up some clothes one night and told Suho, so you didn’t even get the chance to escape. You went upstairs, ready to grab your bag when you saw your arranged husband waiting or you, sitting on the bed with an expectant smirk riding on his face.

Suho: “Going somewhere, jagi?”

{y/n}: “N-no, why would I do that?”

Suho: “See that’s what I thought… you’d be stupid to run babe, especially when everyone knows you’re mine, and no one messes with me.”

Lu Han

Originally posted by jonnasexoticworld

Luhan has the job of sweet talking and seducing people for information, like Yixing. But unlike Yixing, Luhan makes attachments a lot easier, and can be swayed by his feelings very quickly. This is why you are his downfall. He married you because he was forced to, but now, he can feel himself falling for you, and there’s nothing worse than falling in love in an industry that prohibits it. But Luhan is hopeful, and holds his heart over his head. He doesn’t tell anyone when you ran away, just snuck out and looked for you himself, when he finally found you, a wash of emotions ran through him, all he wanted was you, and nothing was more important to him than that.

Luhan: “I’m sorry jagi, I’m so sorry. I know you deserve better than me, but please give me another chance. I can change, I’ll pull out of his fucking shit job and we’ll settle. We can buy a house and a dog. Our biggest worries will be what colour to paint the bathroom and what school our children will be going to attend… please… I need you.”

Kim Jongin/ Kai

Originally posted by blondejongin

Kai is the man that goes to retrieve things that are owed to the boss. Mostly money, but every now and again he does need to get his hands dirty. He’s good at his job, and not a lot scares him anymore. He doesn’t like anyone treading in his territory, part of the reason why he doesn’t get along with Kyungsoo or Tao, he likes to do work alone, and hates nothing more than to find his work already done. When he found out that you were planning on running away from him, he wasn’t happy, and was waiting for you around the corner as you stepped outside of the house.

{y/n}: “Oh Kai… I was just…. Just looking for you, yeah, just looking for you.”

Kai: *Knows you’re lying* “You have ten seconds to get inside the house before I punish you where you stand.”

Wu Yifan/ Kris

Originally posted by chan-baek-yeol

The leader of EXO mafia doesn’t like it when things don’t run smoothly, and he also doesn’t like it when people defy or betray him, so when he finds out that you’ve run away, he sets his whole team out to go and find you, and they weren’t allowed to rest until you had been found. But of course, his men are smart, ad strong, and it didn’t take them very long at all to find you. Between Minseok’s tracking and Jongdae’s kidnapping and Kyungsoo’s long range shots and Tao’s excellent strength, you were next to powerless against these eleven mafia professionals. When you were finally flung into Kris’ office, alone and weeping on your knees before him, he smiled, because he knew you were all his again.


Eva Mohn is horribly upset. 

She’s tired of the lies being thrown her way. 

“I can’t today, Eva,” he said. 

“Sorry, just going to hang out with the Riots, tonight,” he said. 

Fine, Chris Schistad can do whatever the fuck he wants but she doesn’t want him lying to her. She doesn’t want to find his tongue down another girl’s throat at a party when he said he wasn’t going to any.

Eva and Chris aren’t dating. Eva knows that. But lying is another thing. 

Why did she take this so personally? Eva could not possibly have feelings for the despicable Christoffer Schistad! Eva is Noora Saetre’s best friend and Noora has taught her that ‘fuckboys’ aren’t worth it. 

So, why does her heart crack under the pressure of her feelings when she sees him with someone else? 

Why is her mind plagued with the thoughts of her not being good enough as the other girls he makes out with and him not wanting her and her not being good enough for him? Should Eva just stop? 

Out of anger, she believes she should slap Chris and end whatever this is between them. But then she tells herself that it’s better to talk it out.. see where he’s coming from. See if there’s a reason? 

Eva is still staring at him, from across the room. 

He said he was not coming…

Chris’s hands are over a girl, as his lips roughly press kisses to her body. The music isn’t loud enough to block out the negative feelings crawling inside her. 

Nothing is enough. 

The alcohol coursing through her system isn’t enough. Girl Chris cracking her usual jokes isn’t enough. 

She sees red and she sees blue. 

Ugh, she thinks. He’s wearing that stupid t-shirt

The girl drapes across him is playing with the zipper Eva always plays with. 

And that’s when Eva looses it. 

She’s not even going to apologize for wanting to be the only person who gets to play with that zipper. 

And as she’s storming her way to the other side of the room, her feelings finally become clearly. 

Eva Mohn likes Chris Schistad and she’s fucked because of it. 

Chris wasn’t expecting Eva to be here. he really wasn’t. So, when he felt her hand turn him around, her Eva smell filling his nostrils, he freaks out. The girl he was with left as soon as Eva came. 

She knows better than not come in the way of Eva and Chris. 

He freaks out completely because she is so going to murder him. 

And being Penetrator Chris, he smashed his lips to hers, pulling her jeans clad body to him. 

The fireworks are instantly set off between them and, fuck, why? 

When Chris was kissing that other girl a few minutes ago, it didn’t feel half as good as this. So, why? 

His lips do things to Eva. It makes her mind fog up, so she’s not even able to comprehend the situation. Her judgements become so clouded, she’d take drugs in an instant, if given. 

So, yes, that’s what it’s kind of like to kiss Christoffer Schistad. 

Or is it only kissing him? A voice makes her overthink. 

But, no! She’s supposed to be furious with him! Yes, that’s what she’s supposed to do. 

So, mustering enough strength - Chris makes her weak at her knees- she shoves him off her. 

“Eva . .” Chris mumbles, trying to kiss her again. But Eva swats his hands away and then grabs his wrist, dragging him down the hallway, where drunk teenagers are desperately making out. 

She quickly pulls him into the - thankfully - empty room. 

Not understanding where she’s coming from - except for the fact of her catching his lie - Chris smirks. “I thought that Friday nights were reserved for making out only. .” 

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE, CHRISTOFFER!” Eva yells, shoving him. “You lied to me! You fucking lied, you asshole!” 

Chris looks at her shocked. Tears brim her eyes and he feels something churn him. 

Suddenly, Chris understands that feeling as concern. He doesn’t want her crying over him. Especially him. But girls have cried before him . . Iben cried when they broke up but he didn’t approach her. 

What is it that Eva Mohn has of him? 

“You told me you were going to hang out with your friends,” Eva accuses, her voice much softer now. Her voice trembled as her brain replayed what she’d seen. “I don’t need you, Christoffer.” 

And when she said that, it wasn’t one heart that broke . . it was two. 

They both feel as if a sudden weight had been dropped on their shoulders and there is a fierce ache spreading across their chest. 

“You should’ve just said it, alright. I don’t need you,” Eva says, poking a finger at his chest. “I don’t need you or your stupid lies. You played me.” 

And Chris opens his mouth to say something. But his throat feels dry and he hoarsely whispers, “Eva, I –” 

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Eva raises her voice a little. “You think you can play me and walk away? Guess what, you can’t! You can’t fucking lie to me and expect I won’t be mad at you!” 

“I lied to you for a reason, Eva Kviig Mohn, alrigh’!” 

“I don’t need your pathetic excuses right now, Schistad!” 

“Oh, really?” taunts Chris, grabbing her waist. He turns their bodies and slams her straight up against the wall, his hips digging into hers. “Didn’t you think there would be a reason for my lying?” His lips are now pressed softly against her jawline. 

“Don’t fuck with me, Chris,” Eva hotly whispers into his ear. 

“I needed to get away from you.” 

“By lying?” 

“The only way I wouldn’t directly hurt you.” 

Eva pushes him away for the third time. 

“You fucker! ‘Wouldn’t hurt me’! What? I fucking saw you with that girl and you thought that I wouldn’t directly be hurt?” 

“I lied for a good reason, okay!” 

Really? Oh, please, do tell me!” 

“Because being around you does things to me! Things I can’t handle! And staying away from you was helping!” 

Eva stops, her eyes wide. 

Chris has no idea what he said means. He has no idea that he just admited to liking her - implied, of course. 

And Eva tries to ignore the jumps in her heart. She tries to ignore the smile breaking onto her face. 

Chris is confused. . what did he say? 

But before he can have any realisations, Eva’s grabbed the back of his head and pulled him to her. She quickly angles her head and kisses him, trying to help relieve herself of the feeling building up in her heart. 

Chris doesn’t think much, on his part. He hoists her up and presses her against the wall. Groaning, he rocks his hips forward, eliciting a well-earned moan from Eva’s mouth. To satisfy himself even more, he repeats the action, earning the same response. 

With his hips holding her firm in place, his hands push her t-shirt up and he kisses her right above her heart. 

Eva takes her t-shirt off and throws it across the room, not caring. Getting back on her feet, she unbuckles his belt and unbottons his pants. She doesn’t have time to pull them down because Chris steps into the space between her legs and crafts a love bite onto her neck. 

“You and me, Eva,” Chris growls, leading her to the bed. 

Eva’s heart flips. And he isn’t giving her false hope. No, he’s actually saying something true. And she’s so grateful. 

Eva didn’t expect to be the girl to change Chris. She just wanted the countless amounts of good sex. But . . things change. 

Just as he sets her down, Eva chuckles, whispering, “Do you have any idea what you’ve just said?” 

anonymous asked:

I got a fanfic request for a fic about Ryan getting scared/grieving/being attacked/etc and ghost Shane basically protecting him and Ryan seeing him and fluff with angst please? This all probably doesn't make sense but I tried :')

September 21, 2018. 

It’s officially been a year since Shane left Ryan. 

“Cheers,” Ryan whispers dully, raising a glass with one of the most expensive bottles of whiskey Ryan has ever bought. “to another year, right?” And Ryan downs the shot, Shane deserves only the best. The burning attacking his throat makes Ryan hum in comfort. Pain now seemed like the only way for Ryan to feel normal again. 

It’s been a year since Shane got into a car crash with a drunk driver who was too busy playing fuckin candy crush rather than paying attention to the damn road. The worst thing about it was the fact Ryan rested in the passenger seat right next to his friend’s soon-to-be death bed. 

Ryan poured himself another drink with shaky hands, he’s trying so hard to follow his therapist’s advice and think about the happy moments of Shane’s life except for his finals. But it wasn’t working. 

Ryan remembers the screams, not from Shane, but from him. Crying for Shane to watch out as the driver drove into their lane. He remembers telling Shane to turn to the next lane as he didn’t trust the guy ahead of him. He remembers Shane’s constant reassurance, telling Ryan he was just being paranoid as usual. 

Ryan chuckles at the last one, “How’d you like that, Madej? I was finally right about something and you were wrong.” it’s an empty praise and Ryan knows it; he wishes for the other way around but he couldn’t have that because that would just be normal. And nothing about that situation was normal. 

Ryan remembers hating Shane afterwards. Screaming to nobody but the walls in his apartment of how stupid Shane was. How incredibly wrong he had been, how if he had just listened to Ryan for just this once Shane would be alive and Ryan wouldn’t have a fractured arm. Because of course, Shane just had to be Shane, his usual smug, know-it-all, typical fucking douche. 

Ryan had once been afraid of bears but mental pain was something that put a bear attack to kiddie’s play. 

The whiskey bottle was half gone now and Ryan was crying profusely, his eyes red and puffy, body shaking and mind wrecked. He didn’t dare to look at his phone, knowing to only expect messages of fans and friends commemorating Shane;s death and how he was such an ‘inspiration’. 

“Well i just think you’re an asshole,” He sobs to himself, shaking his head as he stood up too quickly. Only to be greeted with a severe dizziness, much appreciated for the distraction. “fuckin, can’t be here anymore.” Ryan decided, pouring the rest of the whiskey into a red solo cup.

Ryan stepped out of the refinements of his house, stumbling out drunk deciding he didn’t care if his place got robbed while he was gone. His hand was glued to the cup as he walked down the streets and into the void of the night. No stars in sight and the moon was a crescent. 

“Look how they treat your death,” Ryan mumbled in disgust, “Shane deserves more than a fuckin half ass moon.” he continued, his expression hardening. 

Ryan just remembers. Remembers the guy stopping abruptly on a highway that went on an 80mph speed. Remembers the person behind them crashing into their rear. Remembers Shane, God, he remembers the god awful thud Shane’s skull made against the closed window. He remembers that Shane’s first initial reaction was to protect Ryan by throwing his right arm in front of him even though it only gained Shane a glass shard into his bicep. Ryan remembers his arm being slammed against the car door. Ryan remembers only recently being able to go around without the arm cast. 

Ryan sips on the whiskey, he’s openly crying in public but he doesn’t care. “Not so invincible now, are you Shane?” Ryan blinks, looking down at the red cup that’s almost gone of its previous liquid. “But looks like neither am I.”

What Ryan remembers the most are his eyes. Shane’s eyes in his last moments were spent watching Ryan. His eyes tells so much, it was apologetic, as if Shane knew what kind of fucking torture he would give Ryan if he were to past right now. Ryan remembers watching the light drain from Shane as he tried to say one last thing to the man next to him. 

Ryan fell to his knees and gritted his teeth, “The one time you could end up speechless you chose it to be on your dead line? Fuck you, Shane!” he cries as he holds himself. Thankful, at least he thinks he should be, for the lack of audience. 

Shane Madej died on impact. 

They say on the autopsy.

Shane Madej was an exceptional man and an inspiration to us all. 

They say at his funeral.

Shane Madej will forever be missed, but the work he left here will carry his spirit through. 

They say at work. 

“You know what I say, Shane?” Ryan inquires, pushing himself back up. “I say, ‘Shane Madej would never know how much Ryan Bergara loved him.’ so fuck off!” 

Suddenly, Ryan’s pressed against the back of a cement wall hard enough for the wind to knock out of him. The red cup falling from his fingertips and spilling the rest of its contents. Fear overtook Ryan’s hazy mind, instantly gaining some type of clarity. 

“You know,” The person who held a knife to his neck started, “you’re drunk, clearly in some sort of misery. I say I add on. Give me your wallet.” the petty thief grunts. Emphasizing his point by digging the steel tip into his neck. 

“Must be both of our unlucky days, left everything home.” Ryan states rather cockily than he would usually would had. 

“You think this is a fucking joke?” The man bellowed, re-shoving Ryan up against the wall. 

“You think I fuckin care anymore man?” Ryan’s voice cracks as he pressed the back of his head against the wall. He swallowed thickly, “I don’t. Now let me the fuck go!” he struggles now against the pin, biting his lower lip in dissatisfaction. 

“Maybe I should do you the fucking honors then.” And with that, the knife that was pressed against Ryan’s neck moved down to Ryan’s abdomen and sheath itself inside him. 

Ryan falls as the man runs right before he pulls the knife out. Ryan can’t screams, he can’t move for it hurts too much, and for once during this whole day, his brain isn’t concentrated on Shane. 

Blood began to seep from Ryan’s lips and Ryan thought this was it. That he’d die drunk in an alley way on Shane’s death day. He really does tend to steal the spotlight from Shane, doesn’t he? 

“Ryan,’ The voice is soft, hesitant, but caring. “it’s going to be okay. just breathe.” Ryan knows that voice but he’s too scared to open his eyes, especially now. 

“Was this how it feels?” Ryan questions towards the voice. 

“Unfortunately, you’ll be okay though, you have to be.” 

“Yeah, I thought the same for you.” 

Ryan finally opens his eyes, only to see Shane, he was sitting right next to Ryan too. Ryan could see the side of his head dried with blood and cuts that decorated Shane’s arm. 

“Am I going to die with a gap permanently in my abdomen?” Ryan asked softly, a wheeze escaping Ryan as it does Shane. 

“You’re not going to die.” 



“What Shane? You think life is at the best for me right now? Nice ghost form by the way, you owe me 50 bucks.”   

“Ryan- fine, you were right, God you were right. They’re all real but that doesn’t mean you should become one right now.” 

Ryan looks over to Shane’s eyes, he could feel cold but hot, tired but too awake. “It’s not the best to watch your best friend die.” 

Shane’s lips pressed into a firm line, “Yeah, and it’s worse to see your lover die too.” and like that, Shane was gone and Ryan passed out. 

Ryan woke up in a hospital bed, Shane was gone, and he was silent as he read the white board. 

Ryan Bergara, stabbed. 

September 22, 2018. 

You are Mine

Pairing: JD x Male!Reader

Request: I really liked the JD x Male!reader and I was wondering if you could do another, but explaining what happened before and after the interaction in the classroom.

AN: Prequel/ Sequel to Lesson

Words: 358

Warnings: Swearing


“You think you’re tough you fucking punk?” Ram pressed you up against the brick wall of the school.

“No.” You said. Ram’s eye stared down yours, involuntarily going to your lips. Taking the opportunity you shoed him off. Grabbing his collar you swung him into the wall before smashing your lips to his. He instantly kissed back, grabbing your shirt, balling it in your hands.

Your tongue slid across his bottom lip, his mouth opened slightly. Your tongue’s tangled together. Doing this all you could think of is JD. Ram’s a good kisser but JD had this spark to him. You guys weren’t dating though. JD never established your relationship so why can’t you have a little fun on your own?

Ram’s hands traveled to your belt when he was suddenly ripped away from you.

JD did not look happy but he didn’t look completely pissed either which was scary. He roughly grabbed your wrist and dragged you away.


JD just left you alone in the classroom after your “lesson”.

You ran after him.

“JD wait!” You yelled running down the hall after him. JD stopped but didn’t turn around. “What are we? Because you confuse the hell out of me. One second you act like nothing happened between us and that you don’t give a fuck about me then when you see me with Ram you act like a jealous boyfriend. We just fucked in a classroom because I made you jealous. If you don’t want me seeing other people then say something about it instead of stringing me along!” You ranted. You were breathing heavily. JD turned and looked at you. He took 4 long strides towards you. Grabbing the collar of your shirt he slammed you into the lockers before smashing his lips onto yours.

“You.” He kissed your jaw. “Are.” Your neck. “Mine.” On the lips again. “You got that?” You quickly nodded, speechless. He released you. “Good. So no more make outs with football players none of that. You are mine and mine alone. Our love is god. You understand?”

“Y-Yes.” You stuttered. He gave you one more kiss before walking away.

Extreme Measures

Anon Requested:  I’m a little confused, are drabble requests open? If they are can I get a Yoongi one with #73 and #99 please? Sorry if requests are closed

Drabbles are currently open :) (I know you sent this a while ago but the requests were open then too ) I tried this in First Person POV instead of Second for once so I hope you like this! Feel free to give me criticism :) Good, Bad, Any criticism is good criticism! 

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Warnings: Insecurities, weight problems, body issues, self hate, depression, slight mentioning of an eating disorder

Word Count: 1770

“Show me what’s behind your back.”

“I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

There’s nothing tragically beautiful about depression, the fools who believe it is haven’t truly had depression in their lives. It’s not sad songs and poetry, shy glances or drowning in the bath. It’s not ghostly white skin tainted by charcoal circles under sad eyes and large purple bruises stretching viciously up your arms. It isn’t lonely walks, vacant coffee shops or smoking dusty cigarettes.

Depression is unwashed clothes and flaking skin. It’s over eating and the inability to even get out of bed and then hating yourself for eating too much and not doing anything that day. It’s giving up on yourself and not taking pride in your appearance anymore because when you feel like this who do you really have to impress? You don’t care about relationships, you don’t care if you’re late to work or end up getting kicked out of school. You just don’t care anymore. Its empty inboxes, bursts of anger and late night tears. It’s a feeling of disgust within yourself that makes you want to tear off your own skin just so you can feel clean because you feel like you’re the lowest and filthiest piece of scum there is in the world. Its uncertainty and confusion. It's losing weight, long showers and greasy hair or even gaining weight, not showering and feeling awful. It’s trying to starve yourself to lose the weight and the only way to stop yourself from eating is to sleep. It’s constantly wishing you could be somewhere or someone else. It's losing the will to even live.

Depression is not tragically beautiful, it’s just tragic.

Sometimes I feel like there is something eating me up from the inside, as if my conscience is telling me I’m not good enough. It’s probably right, I’m not good enough for myself let alone my boyfriend, but I try and be the girlfriend he deserves, the one who isn’t too heavy, the one who has a flat stomach and toned legs and the one that every guy wants to be with. Every day I plaster my face with makeup, wear loose clothes and fake a smile; but some days I can’t take it anymore. I miss dinner one day and then again and again and after one fateful day of passing out at work and Yoongi having to come get me I realized there were other ways to do this. Better ways than starving myself.

I’ve tried it all, I’ve tried working out and I didn’t see the results after a month so I gave up on that. I’ve tried starving myself and well…we all know how that turned out. I even tried making myself throw up, disgusting I know but I ended up cutting that out when Yoongi had to force me to the doctors because he assumed I had a bun in the oven. I had to just tell the doctor I had food poisoning just so he wouldn’t get suspicious.

But now here we are! My latest and most fulfilling way to lose weight, pills. Some pills work wonders if you have enough money for it, thankfully my family has always been on the wealthier side so I’ve always had enough to get me by and then some.

The pills were never a problem for me, within two weeks I shed fifteen pounds just like that, no exercising necessary and no more throwing up. It was just hard to take the pills whenever Yoongi was home, this is the longest break he’s had since he finished tour and of course he wants to spend time with me, I’m not making that out to be a bad thing but the pills are what’s most important.

I end up having to sneak away for a few minutes just to go to the bathroom to take the pills. I take them three times a day and thirty minutes before I eat, though the only thing I ever eat is maybe half a banana and if I’m feeling a tad bit more snackish maybe a cup of ramen.

Closing the bathroom door quietly I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out the cylinder shaped pill bottle labeled ‘ibuprofen’ I had it mislabeled so just in case Yoongi finds it and looks up the actual pill name he doesn’t freak out. The cap came off easily and I easily took two pills out. 6 pills a day. That’s not really a lot if you think about it, besides, there are people that are addicted to painkillers and all I’m doing is taking pills to lose weight, weight that I feel like I don’t need. That’s perfectly normal, that’s-

“What are you doing?”

Shooting my head up to stare at the mirror I saw Yoongi, his eyes were on my hands and I instantly turned to him, pills in hands and pill bottle still on the counter, my hands were behind my back but I knew he could see the pill bottle in the mirror. “Show me what’s behind your back.”

“It’s nothing.” A smile appeared on my face, I was usually pretty good at lying, lying to Yoongi was a lot harder for me though, I always regretted lying to him about if I was fine or not but some things just didn’t need to be brought to his attention, he had enough stress on his plate my weight problems didn’t need to be one of them.

Yoongi didn’t fall for my smile, he instantly took a step closer and I took a step back, but only to find me pushing myself against the sink counter. His eyes narrowed and his hand gripped my arm yanking me towards him. A small yelp left my lips from the sudden physicality but my hands still stayed behind my back, hands squeezing tighter so he wouldn’t see the pills. “(Y/N). Show me.” He growled, his voice growing deeper as his eyes stared into my eyes with something I’ve never seen before. All I could do was shake my head at him refusing to show him the pills. I couldn’t, it’d break him inside. (Y/N)-”

“No!” I cried, tears soon filling up my eyes before I let them fall with a blink. “I-I can’t. Just go out of the bathroom and pretend you didn’t see anything then everything will be fine.”

Yoongi looked at me incredulously, his eyes slightly widening from my outburst but the seriousness came back almost instantly. “Just show me what’s behind your back.” His eyes flickered to the mirror again and saw the pill bottle, with a light and simple shove I was pushed to the side and Yoongi grabbed the opened bottle and grasped it in his hands. His eyes scanned the label and before I could even react he dumped the whole bottle in the toilet and flushed them down.

I stood on the brink of something I couldn’t describe. The weight of everything seemed to press down on my shoulders and I struggled to take even a single step forward. It was too much. All of it. And somehow, I kept moving. But every step cost me. The darkness grew darker; the pain grew sharper; all of it seemed to only grow in strength and I began to wonder if things could ever get better. The pills were gone, the only thing that seemed to give me hope and happiness on being the perfect girlfriend was now gone and flushed down the toilet.

Only once it resonated with me that they were gone did I finally break down, and I don’t mean I cried, I was now angry, angry with him for flushing down my hope, angry at him for not even noticing how sad I was, but most of all I was angry with myself. I pushed him back, his back hitting the bathroom wall and a screech of my voice coming at and colliding with his eardrums. “How could you!” My hands came back again to push him but they were only caught in his hands. His hands tightened around my wrists and quickly walked forward backing me up against the wall opposite to him. “Do you think I’m stupid? Do you really think I haven’t noticed how much you’ve changed? God, I can’t stand seeing you like this!” Yoongi’s hands only tightened as he got more frustrated. “You know I was waiting for you to tell me. I thought we’ve been together long enough that when you’re hurting you could tell me.” His eyes bored into mine and his hands tightened even more now to the point of hurting. “You’re hurting me.” My voice was small, quiet and frail but he heard me none the less. His hands still stayed around my wrists but loosened up a tremendous amount. I looked up at him but his eyes were now squeezed shut and his head was hanging low. I didn’t know what was going on in his head, how could I know? He knew what I was doing this whole time, I only kept it a secret because I knew it would tear him up inside, but in reality he had to suffer alone and silently waiting for me to come clean to him. “I’m sorry.” My voice picked up in pitch but it was more of a whisper still.

Yoongi never opened his eyes or raised his head. His hands dropped from my wrists and hung by his sides. “I- I should’ve-”

“Talk to me (Y/N). Just talk to me when you’re depressed, don’t worry about how I’m going to feel.”


“No buts, I have been going out of my freaking mind seeing you like this and I could barely stand let alone watch you do this to yourself.” Yoongi’s hands now came up to my face cupping my cheeks in his hands.

“How long?” You whispered knowing he would be able to hear what I had just said. He gave a confused look so I spoke again. “How long have you known?”

It didn’t take long for him to answer. “Four months ago.”

“So when I started…I’m sorry.” I breathed out letting out the few tears that have been building up behind my eyes. Yoongi shushed me once I spoke those two words. His lips met my forehead and when he pulled back tears were now welling up in his eyes only making me feel more upset and a small cry left my lips. “Yoongi…I-I’m-”

“Shh, it’s okay. We’ll get through this okay? You just need to talk to me when you need help with all of this okay? You’re going to get better…you will, I promise.”