How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “You’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are — you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say, “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work... And What Does:
Being positive when things are going negative is never going to work: it feels like you’re forcing it, trying to hard, ignoring situations or being plain stupid doesn’t it? When you try to be positive, you can hear the voice in your head telling you, “this isn’t going to work, what a waste of money, who are you kidding”.
The way anything is ever achieved is by building the new, and not focusing on the old. Spend your time becoming clearer on what you do want how you want to live, who you want to become.
You are 100% responsible for your life, your happiness, and what you do with your time on Earth.
Ask yourself these questions: 1. If all the problems in my life were solved, how would I spend my time? 2. What do I have to do to be 100% happy and in love with myself? 3. What am I waiting for?
So when you are really engaged in what is going on around you, it probably feels like all hell is breaking loose! The key out of this? Let it. Let it break loose, let things be as they are. Instead, you become clearer about what you want (and not what you don’t want). Work toward that. And watch problems around you dissolve in the process.