You know those characters that are constantly referred to so smart or so capable or so sensitive (etc. etc.) by other characters or in the narration? And every time it comes up you find yourself shaking your head or rolling your eyes because the character in question either is as bland as boiled potatoes or constantly acts in ways that contradict those claims without explanation?
That’s what is commonly called an “informed trait”. You’re told the character is a certain way (or has a certain ability), but there is more or less nothing in the text to back that up.
It goes the other way around, too, with informed flaws that are supposed to make a character more relatable or interesting - think almost every romantic comedy leading lady who is supposedly “shy” and “clumsy”, but in a cute, endearing way that only ever comes up when the plot asks for it.
It’s frustrating, distracting, incredibly dull and at times downright insulting to the reader to encounter a story where one or more characters have a bad case of this, but unfortunately, it’s a pretty common weakness even in otherwise strong, well-written stories with interesting and complex character concepts.
Since characters and how the reader feels about them (whether they are supposed to relate to them, look up to them or feel repulsed by them) can really make or break a story, informed traits are an easy trap to fall into and many a writer’s Achilles heel.
So, how to avoid them?
This is where the trusty old “Show, don’t tell” comes in. You have most likely been told before that it’s usually better to go for subtlety and leave something to the reader’s imagination than to spell it out, and that is true.
It’s challenging to imply something without outright saying it. You have to get creative with the details you want to put into your story to get a point across by relying on your audience’s ability to read between the lines, and while it’s absolutely worth it to go the extra mile, you also run the risk of making your narrative too stilted and contrived instead.
However, there is a fairly simple trick to make your characterization feel more natural and insert it into the story smoothly:
Stop thinking of your characters as possessing certain traits and start thinking of their personalities as a collection of habits, preferences and specific abilities.
It might not sound like that big of a difference, but it will make translating your character traits into text much, much easier and save you a lot of trouble while editing.
A “smart” character
This can mean a lot of things. You could have a character who is booksmart, learns quickly, reads a lot, can retain information easily and access it when needed, but has trouble applying theoretical knowledge in real life, someone who entertains their friends by telling them about weird facts and trivia, someone who can still recite poems they had to learn by heart when they were ten, someone with a tendency to talk in such complex run-on sentences they frequently forget what they were talking about half-way through. Or you could have a character who is good at problem-solving instead, who likes puzzles and riddles, who gleefully obsesses over odd problems to find even odder solutions, but thinks so far out of the box in order to remain engaged in their current task they often miss the forest for the trees.
A “brave” character
Try to instead make a character who can never resist a challenge, who is a thrill-seeker and went bungee jumping about a dozen times already, who enjoys dragging their friends on the most dangerous looking rides in an amusement park and endlessly teases them about how pale they went afterwards. Make someone who simply cannot stand by when they see someone else get bullied, someone with a collection of scars they wear proudly and a story to tell about each one.
A “shy” character
Forget about characters who blush prettily when spoken to and that’s it. Instead, write about a character who can’t make eye contact without forcing themselves to, who stumbles over their own words when talking to strangers, who is afraid of wearing bright colours because it might draw attention to them, someone who is humble and polite, but distant and comes across as cold or uncaring because they have tendency to hide their insecurity by retreating into themselves, even though seeming rude is the last thing on their mind.
Insert these habits into the story wherever they fit best. Be consistent in the portrayal of your character’s behaviour, even as character development kicks in. Adjust deliberately, but reasonably. After all, old habits die hard, so having your character break with one, however minor, can be a powerful moment with just as much emotional resonance as a flashy, dramatic scene meant to convey the same sentiment, and any “big” scenes will likely feel more organic if the reader has already seen traces of the necessary character changes before.
Aquarians do charity work. They’ll feed the poor, help build shelters, and give a homeless person a dollar.
But they’ll make sure someone’s taking pictures, put it on their resume, casually mention how they helped make the world a better place, in every single conversation with everyone they meet.
If you ask what they’d do if they won the lottery, they’ll say, “I’ll use the money to make the world a better place” (build a hospital, donate to PETA, whatever). They’ll say it while they watch you carry an armload groceries into your house, without offering to help.
There’s no glory in helping with the little things. You can’t put small acts of genuine kindness on a resume. Where are the cameras? Pfft.
They’ll offer to travel the world with you- because they need someone to take pictures of them to put on Instagram. They need to appear popular and well-traveled, but they have no genuine interest in taking in the sights, making connections, or having fun.
It’s always about appearances.
An Aquarius would rather project an image of being happy and fulfilled via their facebook profile, than experience actual happiness and fulfilment. They’d rather appear to be humanitarian than actually help people from the heart. They’d rather appear popular than have any real friends. They’d rather appear to have a perfect relationship than find true love.
It takes less time and effort to construct a pretty lie than to build something beautiful and true. So, I get it. (I don’t respect it.) But I get it.
We are currently in the age of Aquarius. One glance around shows that everyone displays the behavior described here to some extent. People are allies because it’s the cool thing to do, not because they care. People stay in friend groups just to fit in and appear well-adjusted, not because they’re actually friends. Etc.
Those with prominent Aquarius in their birth chart (esp. rising) just do this more than the rest of us.
The evolved Aquarius is a true rebel and revolutionary. The evolved Aquarius does things for only one reason: because they want to. Not to help others, and not to help themselves, but from pure, genuine, internal motivation. This form of Aquarius is exceptionally rare. You’re more likely to come across the sheep than the lone wolf manifestation of this sign.
So… For the love of god, stop calling Aquarians ‘humanitarian’ when they honestly couldn’t give a fuck, unless it makes them look good.
I will never tire of remembering things I love about Leverage but my fave are these:
Parker and Sophie’s dynamic : It honestly floored me how there was never a stereotypical or negative dynamic between these two. They were always supportive of each other, tried to understand each other, and honestly were a healthy friendship. Finding that without it being made into something outlier or strange is rare sometimes in shows, at least with this consistency.
Alec Hardison and his importance to the team : Even though it was Nate who formed the team, it was Hardison who brought them together with a proper place to be, not just once. He is cool but also emotional when needs come, allowed to be nervous, allowed to have hobbies and be so much more than a ‘typical’ geek, especially a black man playing a tech whiz, could be stereotyped as. Alec is the one who buys a pub and brews his own beer, gets excited over lasers in cooking, complains about things people would do in certain situations like insane stakeouts. He isn’t a crusader, isn’t representative of any mission, and isn’t an ideal. A human character and a great one at it.
Sophie Devereaux and identity issues: Right from the start we are told that Sophie has identity twists. She is not who she shows in terms of her official name or identity. But this doesn’t mean that she doesn’t show her character to her group. She is open about her fears and love but is allowed her secrets. When Nate asks for her name she says he has to earn it, which is such a wonderful moment because it shows the balance in their dynamics. Her name matters to her and her group respects it. Even when he proposes, Nate doesn’t use her real name because that is a secret but he is proposing to her and that is all that matters to both of them. It showed people and secrets and the importance of respecting those.
Parker and romance + intimacy : Again, this is shown right from the first episode. While Eliot and Nate are baffled by her in the beginning, and even Sophie is, the show never once makes us think that Parker is 'abnormal’ for having intimacy or emotional issues. Instead it shows the others learning to communicate with her and building their own ways to connect with her while her growing to understand their communicative styles too. Especially when Hardison and Parker show prospects of dating, Hardison is shown to learn her thought process and he is happy to learn but it’s not seen as something absurd. Parker learns about Hardison’s likes too and they share their likes by being interested and genuinely liking in each other’s company. Parker is an orphan who has been through abusive foster homes and never once does the group call her out badly on it or make her feel uncomfortable for it.
Nate’s alcoholism : The very first shot of the show is Nate getting a drink while a guy comes to offer him a job and manipulates him emotionally using his son’s death. Talk about a brilliant opening setting, because this is his entire history set within the first 5 minutes. Nate is an alcoholic and has deep trauma from his son’s death along with a lot of impulsive guilt inspired reactions. He is the leader of this group of cons. He is called out every single time he screws up but not mockingly about his past but more in frustration about his lack of taking help. There is an entire episode where a con is planned in a rehab centre and it backfires because Nate is shown to have a breakdown when he is withheld from alcohol. His issues are highlighted and he doesn’t get into a serious romantic relationship without understanding that he should work on them. Alcohol is not glorified here and being an alcoholic is not shown as mysterious or hot. He goes to frickin jail because he fails to get things under control and the show doesn’t shy out from that.
Eliot and Cooking: How many times do you find this trope where a Manly Man™ guy loves cooking but still doesn’t get shown to be compromised from his role as a Hitter? Eliot is a guy who hits but he does not have anger issues. He does not seek violence. He does not like guns. He loves cooking and is serious about it. He is the guy who had issues with being a team in the first episode and he is also the guy who would do anything to protect his team. He’s the nurturer of this team who feeds them and is loyal to the core. His cooking has a past too and that rocks because he learnt it from someone he was supposed to target. It is his calming mechanism. This is a Hitter who would make a beautiful dish because he likes it and still beat someone if they hurt others. It’s not one or the other, it’s both.
Maggie, Tara, and every woman who played a supporting cast: Maggie is the ex-wife of Nate who is NEVER shown to be jealous or weird around Sophie. She doesn’t get back together with Nate or regret things but she also deeply cares for him. She is successful, has her own principles, and also helps this group con for revenge when she wanted to. Tara is a Grifter who is brought in when Sophie takes a break. She is thought to be a replacement and everybody hates her at first because they miss Sophie but they grow to respect and like her for WHO SHE IS and not for how she fills Sophie’s role. It’s not a replacement, as they realize. It’s a change and she brings her own dynamic with it. There are so many more like Ana who helped Parker when she had a broken leg, every single female client they had, Peggy who became Parker’s first friend outside the group and was starkly different. This show never made every woman the same because *gasp* they are not.
From hurt the bad to help the good: Usually this concept remains of hurting bad people and Leverage does do that. But the team grows and their motto shifts too. They grow from hurting bad people to helping the good and both go hand in hand for them. It’s not just about removing the problem but also about finding the solution for them.
It’s Personal: The group has one of the best team dynamics I have ever seen and it’s not just because they work well together. It’s also because they work with and for each other too. Each person has had personal cases on the show and even when the team thinks twice on certain things, they respect that personal aspect. The show portrayed the idea of 'I might not think the same way you do or make the same choices but I understand why you make them and I respect you’ with beautiful ideas. Be it Parker with Luka and the orphans in Russia or Eliot and the horse job; the team gives each other the benefit of doubt and trust when needed.
Platonic relationships: I cannot tell you how much I love the platonic relationships of this show. Be it the parents-wards bond of Nate+Sophie and the others or the Eliot-Hardison-Parker dynamic which I know many people see as Ot3 (highly possible); every platonic bond is valuable and no single character is graced higher.
Plot: Last but not the least, the plot. It came a full circle. The show finished its plots and had continuity of arcs. They started because Nate pushed them to find compensation for the past and the show ended with Nate pushing them to find their resource for the future. Every single character came a full circle by the end and we see growth in them.
I honestly wish we had more episodes of this show but I am really happy that we got what we did. To Leverage - the show that told that good is not who you are but what you do and choose.
Reaction to Taylor’s speech VS reactions to Sam’s speech…
Also, I’d also like to point out that the song that won the award (I Knew You Were Trouble) was released with the album in October 2012 and Taylor and Harry broke up in 2013… Not that this should matter but it really shows how the media can manipulate you into reacting and thinking a certain way
What are personality disorders? How many are there? If you need help to self dx or are just curious as I was while researching this, I hope this post helps you.
Personality Disorders: An Overview
Each of us has a unique personality made up of traits that come from both our genetic make-up and our life experiences and is a vital part of what makes us who we are and how we interact with others.
A personality disorder is a type of mental disorder in which you have a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning and behaving. A person with a personality disorder has trouble perceiving certain things, such as relationships, people in general and emotions. However, that does not make you dumb, broken or worse.
Personality disorders usually become noticeable in adolescence or early
adulthood, but sometimes start in childhood. They can make it difficult
for those affected to start and keep friendships or other relationships, and they may
find it hard to work effectively with others. They may find other people very
scary, and feel very alienated and alone.
In general, individuals with personality disorders may have difficulty sustaining close or intimate
relationships. They may experience chronic interpersonal problems, or have difficulties in
establishing a coherent sense of self or identity. Others may perceive them to be impulsive,
irritable, fearful, demanding, hostile, manipulative, or even violent.
Problem alcohol or drug use, mood disorders, certain anxiety or eating disorders, self-harm,
suicidal thoughts or attempts, and sexual problems often accompany personality disorder.
The diagnosis applies if you have personality difficulties which affect all
aspects of your life, all the time, and make life difficult for you and for
those around you.
The different types of personality disorders
the UK tend to use an American system of diagnosis which identifies 10
different types of personality disorder. These types can be grouped into
three categories, which are usually called ‘clusters’:
Suspicious ♦ - Cluster A (
odd, eccentric )
The common features of the personality disorders in this cluster are social awkwardness and social withdrawal. These disorders are dominated by distorted thinking.
impulsive ♦ - Cluster B (
dramatic, emotional, and erratic )
Disorders in this cluster share problems with impulse control and emotional regulation.
♦ Anxious ♦ - Cluster C
One person may meet the criteria for several different types of personality
disorder, while a wide range of people may fit the criteria for the same
disorder, despite having very different personalities.
Quick overview of all the different personality disorders
••Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)••
This is characterised by a lack of regard for the rights and feelings of others, and a lack of
remorse for actions that may hurt others. People with this diagnosis frequently ignore social
norms of acceptable behaviour; they may disregard rules and break the law. Consequently, if
you have this diagnosis you may also have a criminal record; you may also have problem drug
or alcohol use. Sadly, this kind of behaviour is also likely to result in difficulties in relationships,
with rejection (given or received) a major feature.
Antisocial personality disorder signs and symptoms may include:
Disregard for right and wrong
Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others
Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure
Arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated
Recurring problems with the law, including criminal behavior
Repeatedly violating the rights of others through intimidation and dishonestyImpulsiveness or failure to plan ahead
Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, aggression or violence
Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others
Poor or abusive relationships
Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them
Being consistently irresponsible and repeatedly failing to fulfill work or financial obligations
Adults with antisocial personality disorder typically show symptoms of conduct disorder before the age of 15.
Cognitive therapy — first developed to help patients with depression — has recently been applied to ASP.
No medications are routinely used or specifically approved for ASP treatment. Several drugs, however, have been shown to reduce aggression, a common problem for many antisocials.The best-documented medication is lithium carbonate, which has been found to reduce anger, threatening behavior and combativeness among prisoners. More recently, the drug was shown to reduce behaviors such as bullying, fighting and temper outbursts in aggressive children.Phenytoin (Dilantin), an anticonvulsant, has also been shown to reduce impulsive aggression in prison settings.Other drugs have been used to treat aggression primarily in brain-injured or mentally retarded patients. These include carbamazepine, valproate, propranolol, buspirone and trazodone.
Antipsychotic medications also have been studied in similar populations. They may deter aggression, but potentially induce irreversible side effects. Tranquilizers from the benzodiazepine class should not be used to treat people with ASP because they are potentially addictive and may lead to loss of behavioral control.
••Avoidant (anxious) personality disorder••
Typically, a person with this diagnosis fears being judged negatively by others, leading to
feelings of discomfort in group or social settings. You may come across as being socially
withdrawn, a ‘loner’. Fear and anxiety may mean that you have difficulty in holding down a job,
as well as experiencing difficulties in relationships.
This can be very painful for you as you can feel lonely and isolated, while at the same time,
fearful of those relationships and situations that might make you feel more included and
engaged with a community or circle of family or friends.
You are likely to:
avoid work or social activities that mean you must be with others
expect disapproval and criticism and be very sensitive to it
worry constantly about being ‘found out’ and rejected
worry about being ridiculed or shamed by others
avoid relationships, friendships and intimacy because you fear rejection
feel lonely and isolated, and inferior to others
be reluctant to try new activities in case you embarrass yourself.
People with avoidant personality disorder experience long-standing feelings of inadequacy and are extremely sensitive to what others think about them. These feelings of inadequacy leads to the person to be socially inhibited and feel socially inept. Because of these feelings of inadequacy and inhibition, the person with avoidant personality disorder will seek to avoid work, school and any activities that involve socializing or interacting with others.
Treatment of avoidant personality disorder typically involves psychotherapy with a therapist that has experience in treating this kind of personality disorder.
Anti-anxiety agents and antidepressants should be prescribed for avoidant PD only when another psychiatric problem co-occurs (e.g., anxiety or depression).
••Borderline personality disorder (BPD)••
This is the most commonly diagnosed personality disorder. The term borderline originally
referred to symptoms being on the borderline between psychosis and neurosis. Typically, with a
diagnosis of BPD, you are likely to have a poor self-image and unstable personal relationships,
which are likely to result from mood swings that may involve angry outbursts, which tend to drive
people away. Conversely, you may find it difficult to break away from damaging relationships as
you are frightened of being alone.
Others may find it difficult to relate to you, as your response tends to be unpredictable, or people
may be afraid of your anger. While seeking contact and support with others, you may also be
quite rejecting of this, which makes it hard for people to engage with, or relate to you.
While in some ways inviting rejection, you also find it hard to be rejected and may act impulsively
in reaction to this, sometimes threatening, or carrying out self-destructive behaviour such as selfharm
or suicide attempts.
Life can be very difficult and painful, both for you, and for those who care about you. You may
have feelings of emptiness and fear abandonment by friends or partners.
A person with this disorder will also often exhibit impulsive behaviors and have a majority of the following symptoms:
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationshipscharacterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
Identity disturbance, such as a significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self
Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
Emotional instability due to significant reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms
Types of psychotherapy used to treat BPD include:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can help people with BPD identify and change core beliefs and/or behaviors that underlie inaccurate perceptions of themselves and others and problems interacting with others. CBT may help reduce a range of mood and anxiety symptoms and reduce the number of suicidal or self-harming behaviors.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): This type of therapy utilizes the concept of mindfulness, or being aware of and attentive to the current situation and moods. DBT also teaches skills to control intense emotions, reduce self-destructive behaviors, and improve relationships. DBT differs from CBT in that it integrates traditional CBT elements with mindfulness, acceptance, and techniques to improve a person’s ability to tolerate stress and control his or her emotions. DBT recognizes the dialectical tension between the need for acceptance and the need for change.
Schema-Focused Therapy: This type of therapy combines elements of CBT with other forms of psychotherapy that focus on reframing schemas, or the ways people view themselves. This approach is based on the idea that BPD stems from a dysfunctional self-image—possibly brought on by negative childhood experiences—that affects how people react to their environment, interact with others, and cope with problems or stress.
Systems Training for Emotional Predictability and Problem Solving (STEPPS) is a type of group therapy that aims to educate family members, significant others, and health care professionals about BPD and gives them guidance on how to interact consistently with the person with the disorder using the STEPPS approach and terminology. STEPPS is designed to supplement other treatments the patient may be receiving, such as medication or individual psychotherapy.
There are no known medications that can treat BPD as a whole. A mental health professional may recommend medications to treat specific symptoms, such as mood swings, depression, or other disorders that may occur with BPD. ••Dependent personality disorder (DPD)••
With this diagnosis you are likely to take a passive position with regard to your own life, allowing
others to assume responsibility for many areas of your life. You are likely to lack selfconfidence,
assuming that the needs of others take precedence to yours. You may find it very
hard to even recognise that you have rights and needs.
This can leave you in a very vulnerable position as you are reliant on others looking out for your
needs and not abusing the position you take within relationships. Other people are more likely
to identify this vulnerability as they recgonise your passivity and submissiveness . People with this disorder do not trust their own ability to make decisions and feel that others have better ideas. They may be devastated by separation and loss, and they may go to great lengths, even suffering abuse, to stay in a relationship. Other symptoms include:
Difficulty making decisions without reassurance from others
Problems expressing disagreements with others
Avoiding personal responsibility
Avoiding being alone
Devastation or helplessness when relationships end
Unable to meet ordinary demands of life
Preoccupied with fears of being abandoned
Easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
Willingness to tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others
Complications of this disorder may include depression, alcohol and drug abuse, and susceptibility to physical, emotional and sexual abuse.
Psychotherapy is the preferred form of treatment for people with dependent personality disorder. Cognitive-behavioral therapy focuses on patterns of thinking that are maladaptive, the beliefs that underlie such thinking and resolving symptoms or traits that are characteristic of the disorder, such as the inability to make important life decisions or the inability to initiate relationships. Improvements are usually seen only with long-term therapy or treatment.
Certain types of drugs such as antidepressants, sedatives and tranquilizers are often prescribed for patients with dependent personality disorder to treat co-occurring conditions.
••Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)••
This disorder is characterised by extreme or over-dramatic behaviour, with a need to be the
centre of attention. If you have this diagnosis, you may form relationships quickly, but be
demanding and attention-seeking. You may also flirt or behave provocatively in order to ensure
you attract or retain the attention of others.
To others you may appear to be self-centred, with shallow emotions. While you crave attention,
this may also be difficult as you may feel you have to entertain others, be the life and soul of the
party and that you are dependent on the approval of other people.
You are likely to:
feel very uncomfortable if you are not the centre of attention
feel much more at ease as the ‘life and soul of the party’
feel that you have to entertain people
flirt or behave provocatively to ensure that you remain the centre of
get a reputation for being dramatic and overemotional
feel dependent on the approval of others
be easily influenced by others
Treatment can be difficult if you have HPD. Like many people with HPD, you might think you don’t need treatment, or you might find the routine of a treatment program to be unappealing. However, therapy — and sometimes medications — can help you cope with HPD.
Psychotherapy is the most common and effective treatment choice for HPD. This kind of therapy involves talking to a therapist about your feelings and experiences. Such talks can help you and your therapist determine the reasoning behind your actions and behaviors. Your therapist may be able to help you learn how to relate with people in a positive manner, instead of continually trying to get attention from them.
If the patient experiences depression or anxiety as a part of their HPD, their primary care provider might put them on antidepressants or antianxiety medication.
••Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)••
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have significant problems with their sense of self-worth stemming from a powerful sense of entitlement. This leads them to believe they deserve special treatment, and to assume they have special powers, are uniquely talented, or that they are especially brilliant or attractive. Their sense of entitlement can lead them to act in ways that fundamentally disregard and disrespect the worth of those around them.
You are likely to:
believe that there are special reasons that make you different, better
or more deserving than others
have fragile self-esteem, so that you rely on others to recognise your
worth and your needs
feel upset if others ignore you and don’t give you what you feel you
resent other people’s successes
put your own needs above other people’s, and demand they do too
be seen as selfish and ‘above yourself’
take advantage of other people.
Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around talk therapy, also called psychotherapy. Psychotherapy can help you:
Learn to relate better with others so your relationships are more intimate, enjoyable and rewarding
Understand the causes of your emotions and what drives you to compete, to distrust others, and perhaps to despise yourself and others
There are no medications specifically used to treat narcissistic personality disorder. However, if you have symptoms of depression, anxiety or other conditions, medications such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs may be helpful.
A person with this disorder tends to have difficulties in expressing warm or tender emotions to
others. They are frequently perfectionists, things must be done in their own way. They often lack
clarity in seeing other perspectives or ways of doing things, and their rigid attention to detail may
prevent them from completing tasks.
OCPD is separate from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), which
describes a form of behaviour rather than a type of personality.
You are likely to:
need to keep everything in order and under control
set unrealistically high standards for yourself and others
think yours is the best way of making things happen
worry when you or others might make mistakes
expect catastrophes if things aren’t perfect
be reluctant to spend money on yourself or others
have a tendency to hang on to items with no obvious value.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common type of mental health counseling. During CBT, you meet with a mental health professional on a structured schedule. These regular sessions involve working with your counselor to talk through any anxiety, stress, or depression. A mental health counselor may encourage you to put less emphasis on work and more emphasis on recreation, family, and other interpersonal relationships.
Relaxation training involves specific breathing and relaxation techniques that can help decrease your sense of stress and urgency. These symptoms are common in OCPD. Examples of recommended relaxation practices include yoga, tai chi, and Pilates.
Usually, a SSRI type medication is prescribed to decrease inflexible and detail-oriented thinking.
••Paranoid personality disorder (PPD)••
People with this diagnosis are often emotionally detached and suspicious of other people and
their motives. They may hold longstanding grudges, and believe that other people are not
trustworthy, are deceiving, threatening, or making plans against them.
People with this disorder assume that others are out to harm them, take advantage of them, or humiliate them in some way.
They put a lot of effort into protecting themselves and keeping their distance from others.
They are known to preemptively attack others whom they feel threatened by.
They tend to hold grudges, are litigious, and display pathological jealously.
Distorted thinking is evident. Their perception of the environment includes reading malevolent intentions into genuinely harmless, innocuous comments or behavior, and dwelling on past slights.
Their emotional life tends to be dominated by distrust and hostility.
For these reasons, they do not confide in others and do not allow themselves to develop close relationships.
talk therapy or psychotherapy are helpful. These methods will:
help the individual learn how to cope with the disorder
learn how to communicate with others in social situations
help reduce feelings of paranoia
Medications may include:
Combining medication with talk therapy or psychotherapy can be very successful.
••Schizoid personality disorder••
People diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder tend to have difficulties in expressing
emotions, particularly around warmth or tenderness. They often feel shy in company, but may
come across as aloof or remote, and have difficulty in developing or maintaining social
They almost always chose solitary activities, and seem to take little pleasure in life.
These “loners” often prefer mechanical or abstract activities that involve little human interaction and appear indifferent to both criticism and praise.
Emotionally, they seem aloof, detached, and cold.
They may be oblivious to social nuance and social cues causing them to appear socially inept and superficial.
Their restricted emotional range and failure to reciprocate gestures or facial expressions (such a smiles or nods of agreement) cause them to appear rather dull, bland, or inattentive.
The Schizoid Personality Disorder appears to be rather rare.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is designed to change behavior. It can be successful in treating this condition because you will learn how to act in social situations. This may reduce anxiety and reluctance to pursue social relationships. Group therapy is another option and can help you practice your social skills. This will help you become more comfortable in social situations.
Medication is generally not used unless other treatment methods are not working. Bupropion may be used to increase feelings of pleasure. Antipsychotic medications can be used to treat feelings of indifference. These medications can also help encourage social interactions.
••Schizotypal personality disorder (STPD)••
A person with this disorder typically has problems around developing interpersonal relationships.
The condition is characterised by thought disorders and paranoia. To others they may appear
odd or eccentric; they may dress or behave inappropriately, for example talking to themselves in
Unlike the Schizoid Personality Disorder, they also experience perceptual and cognitive distortions and/or eccentric behavior.
People with Schizotypal Personality Disorder have odd beliefs, for instance, they may believe they can read other people’s thoughts, or that that their own thoughts have been stolen from their heads.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder tends to be found more frequently in families where someone has been diagnosed with Schizophrenia; a severe mental disorder with the defining feature of psychosis (the loss of reality testing). There is some indication that these two distinct disorders share genetic commonalities
These perceptual abnormalities may include noticing flashes of light no one else can see, or seeing objects or shadows in the corner of their eyes and then realizing that nothing is there.
These odd or superstitious beliefs and fantasies are inconsistent with cultural norms.
Several types of therapy can help treat STPD. Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, can help you learn how to form relationships. You can get this type of therapy along with social skills training to help you feel more comfortable in social situations.
Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you address some of the behaviors associated with your condition. Your therapist can help you learn how to act in social situations and respond to social cues. They can also help you learn to recognize unusual or harmful thoughts and change them.
Family therapy may be helpful, especially if you live with others. It can help you strengthen your relationships with family members. It may also help you to feel more supported by your family.
No medications are designed to treat STPD specifically. However, some people with this condition benefit from taking antipsychotic or antidepressant drugs if they’re experiencing symptoms that their doctor thinks be improved with these medications.
I think I have a lot to catch up on but I just read dans article and I feel like it was actually not that bad and was pretty good for a dan wootton article… dan did what he does best and puts words in their mouths etc. But looking at the positives:
- Harry basically says his sexuality is none of your business
- cleverly avoids answering the sexuality question as well but also throwing more question on the topic by not just answering ‘im straight’
- refuses to talk about his past/current relationships
- skirts over questions about how he feels about said relationships being public by saying it’s part of growing up (which of course it is in that industry)
- but then goes on to basically say he doesn’t date……
- doesn’t deny 1d won’t get back together
- stands up for Louis
- talks about being there for Louis at his xfactor performance
- confirms he wanted to be honest in his lyrics in the album saying he didn’t want to edit the lyrics. Which I took as the album isn’t all about Harry styles being honest as himself but writing honest lyrics, lyrics which aren’t edited for the sake of a younger demographic
- confirms dan is a big pile of shit
- confirms the boys will never be able to say a bad word about Simon cowell by rebutting his 'anxiety’ remark by saying it was a joke (yeah right it was)
- confirms dans agenda and who sent him there/how he got access aka Sony by talking about their biggest signed artist, Adele
- and because of our resident larrie catching dan with Harry’s pr person we can pretty much take away that this is the narrative harry is selling.. which I think is fairly positive. It’s basically him not confirming or denying anything and letting people make up their own minds which seems to be his entire theme throughout this whole album promo. And who’s to say that’s bad? Because trying to navigate the current fandom and break into a new market with new fans he’s successfully been able to let everyone think he’s a certain type of person without shutting down those opinions which has given him so many more fans and kept the current ones pretty happy… it’s clever imo. Harry seems to be okay with letting people make up their own minds about him because he’s so private about who he really is.
The Dollar Valentine survey was a two-parter: Describe yourself, and describe what you’re looking for in someone else. And, as I filled mine out, I realized I was actually describing a certain someone. You’d think if my answers all described one person, that person would at least appear in my Top Five. But no. I didn’t match up to the one person who might really have been right.
Person a is a werewolf. With silver fur. Literally. They have fur of silver, every strand coated in the metal, from muzzle to tail.
Person b is a vampire, and vampires can’t, y'know, TOUCH silver… Not without burning.
Now imagine the two have to work together for a mission: find a lost friend, retrieve an important artifact/antidote, unite their countries, save the world, whatever. A mission wherein they have to be in close quarters with each other. And they have to accomplish it all without touching each other
(Bonus: person a doesn’t think twice about burning themselves extensively to save person b’s sorry butt from certain death)
Voodoo Mama's Spellbook: A Lunar Menstrual Love Spell
*My spells, though voodoo/hoodoo influenced, are open to everyone*
This is a powerful love spell for those of us who have menstrual cycles. The menstrual cycle is proof that the universe is connected to you. The very moon is guiding your body like the tides of an ocean. So this is a spell written by my grandmother and she swears by it. She says that she met my papa two weeks after performing this spell. The concept is to allow the moon to lead your body to a new love. I have actually never done this spell but upon posting this I will be trying. (Single lesbian sobsob)
This love spell can be used two ways and I will get into more detail into the instructions. I prefer to ask for love to be guided to me instead of focusing on a particular person but you can do otherwise with a slight variation I will include. Let me note that everyone has their opinion on love spells. I do not care to hear yours.
SPELL MUST BE DONE ON A FRIDAY WHEN THERE IS A FULL MOON
-6 drops of menstrual blood
-2 basil leaves
-2 pinches ginger powder
-9 drops of juice from an orange
-full moon charged water
-cheesecloth or something to strain water
-6 red rose petals
-1 jar or container
-(Optional) Hair of the person if there is someone in particular.
First of all you want to mix your moon water, ginger powder and drops of orange juice.
Set it out in the moonlight while you peel and slice your peaches. Be very slow and delicate while you do this. It symbolized you opening yourself up to the new experiences.
Get your pot back and add the sliced peaches into the pot.
Add the basil and rose petals and place the pot on the stove.
While it boils, focus on it and push your desires onto it. This potion of love will be charged with your dreams and everything that you need from a lover. Think about certain aspects that you wish for that person to have. Don’t forget to stir every now and again.
Once it is boiling, let it go for 30 seconds or so.
Strain the water with your cheesecloth or whatever you plan to use into a jar. You can throw the items strained into the trash or use them for any gardening you need.
Make sure that your jar is only about ¾ of the way filled up.
Meditate while watching the jar. You can talk to any deity and do any prayers at this time. Ask it to be blessed. This water is a potion of love, charged by the moon.
Once you are ready, slowly add your blood. As it hits the water, the love potion is bound to you by blood. Watch it fall through the mixture. Think about how one of your most intimate aspects is now here. If you are using this on a person, add their hair now and think the same about them. They are tied to you.
Finally, add the red wine and fill the jar all the way up. This seals the deal. Think about the romance you want. Maybe talk to the mixture and tell it out loud. It loves suggestions. Please be specific and careful with your words.
Close the jar and give it 9 shakes filled with emotion and want.
If this is meant for a certain person, go to their home and pour the mixture below their window. If it is for just anyone, pour it under your own window.
Within the next month or two, if the spell has worked, you will meet someone who is brought to you by the pull of the moon.
Follow up to the Klance Shoujo AU Mini-comic. Please have these random plot scenarios (that I may or may not eventually draw, who knows oヮo;;)!
Keith sprains his ankle at school, and Lance is about to approach him to help (having frantically searched for a bandage and other first aid things), but finds that someone else has already beaten him to aiding Keith. Lance watches for a short while, his jealousy brewing, and without Keith ever noticing, he stuffs the things he’d gotten for Keith into his bag and slips away quietly.
Keith is advised to stay in his room for the rest of the day but refuses because it’s one of the days when he meets with Mr. Blue. So he slips out of the Garrison dorms despite having some difficulty moving with his sprain and heads to the park. Lance, in the Mr. Blue costume, isn’t expecting him, of course, but does his best to not be found out. He and Keith talk as usual, and when it’s time to go, they both notice that Keith’s bandages had gotten loose (due to him rushing to the park). Mr. Blue brings out a fresh roll of bandages (the one Lance had kept with him since earlier) and wraps it around Keith’s ankle. Keith says that Mr. Blue must be magic to always have what he needs just at the right time, and Lance just silently smiles.
Lance gets a bad fever on one of their meetup days and can barely move. Hunk tries to discourage him from heading to his part-time work (still unaware of the meetups with Keith), but Lance adamantly refuses, thinking of the fact that Keith has no way to contact Mr. Blue and might wait the entire afternoon. Lance manages to escape from Hunk and goes to the park in costume just as Keith is about to leave after waiting for almost an hour. While they talk, Keith thinks he’s acting weirdly, but Lance does his best to not reveal he is sick. Before they separate, Mr. Blue gives Keith his phone number, with Lance thinking it’s okay since Keith doesn’t know his number anyway.
Afterwards, Lance is near delirious from the fever on his way back to their dorm. He collapses a short distance away, but someone catches him before he crashes to the ground—Keith. Lance thinks it’s a dream, while Keith is immensely worried why Lance is walking around so ill. Since Lance can’t walk anymore and is barely conscious, Keith carries him on his back up to his dorm room, to a very surprised Hunk.
Frisk isn't a human. You made it quite obvious. You stated that before the event of Undertale, they didn't have a life. They also have no gender. It's impossible for a human to not have a gender. If Frisk isn't human, then what are they? Another spell, just like Bete? And if so, is the game the one, who made them, or was it a certain person?
Kusanagi ups the game by speaking in italics AND bold and I
find it unnecessarily hilarious because what
does that mean in terms of tone of voice. Does he get louder? Does his
voice drop another octave and rumble through the grains of the earth?
It’s not even that much of an important statement, so I have
to assume that this is just how arguments work with these people. Rather than
raising their voices they just start
speaking in different font styles until
everyone else stops objecting.
Which is absolutely not what’s happening but I love it and I’m
ALSO: ACTUAL PLOT POINT. Kamui just being entirely apathetic
to everything that isn’t related to water AND/OR Fuuma is such a nice
introspection into what his character could have turned into in X/1999 if he
had gone the other direction. In that storyline he chose his friends and protecting others over his
own interests (and the idea of actually fulfilling his own wishes takes a long
time for him to relearn). This is the opposite. Kamui has made the opposite
character growth; he’s only focussed
on what he himself wants, to the complete exclusion of everyone and everything
“Y/N, where do you even go?” Peter asked me as I quickly packed my things into my bag. I shrugged at the boy in response to his question.
“You have your Stark Internship, Spidey, and I have super secret missions of my own,” I answered, purposefully being vague as I put my bag around my shoulder.
“You mind telling me what it is?” He asked, chuckling.
“Nope,” I answered nonchalantly. “See you tomorrow, Peter.” I began to walk out of the classroom when I heard him shout.
“This is so not fair!” I chuckled at his reply, but I continued walking.
I took my guitar out of its hard case and took my usual seat on the stool on the stage. Here I was in a very small and quaint coffee shop that not a lot of people knew about, sitting in front of a microphone.
I performed here thrice a week, basically using the money for books and school supplies since my mum never got them for me when I needed them. I tested the mic and the amplifier of my guitar quickly before beginning to perform.
“Hey guys. If you’re new, I’m Y/N. I perform here every so often, and… yeah… I guess that’s all I have to say. Tips are much appreciated; there’s a jar off the stage to your left, but you know, tips in general, constructive criticism and such are also greatly appreciated,” I smiled. “So, the first song I’m going to sing is called Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop.”
I sang like I normally did and allowed myself to get lost in the music and not too wrapped up in the fact that I was singing in front of a crowd. My eyes, I admit, were closed for much of the song or I was looking down, or I wasn’t paying attention to the audience all that much.
I couldn’t help but think about a certain person who wasn’t in this coffee shop that I was singing about. The only reason I knew about this coffee shop was because of all of Peter and I’s midnight conversations. This was the closest coffee shop to my apartment. I think Peter and I’s conversations were one of the things that kept making me come back.
“Where do you keep getting this coffee? I’ve been to every coffee shop in Queens, but I still don’t know where you find this one,” he chuckled, taking a sip as I dressed a wound on his back.
“Clearly, you haven’t gone to every coffee shop in Queens,” I commented with a giggle of my own.
“Seriously though, where do you get it? It’s delicious,” he told me, “It’s my favourite coffee. And it actually keeps me up, too.”
“Well, I’ll never tell you, so you’re just going to have to keep coming back to me if you want coffee,” I chuckled, looking at him when I finished dressing his wound.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much,” I sang. “All of the while, I never knew… All of the while, all of the while, it was you,” I sang, finishing the song with one last song. I opened my eyes at the sound of applause. I began to blush and grin and I scanned the crowd.
I felt my heart stop when my eyes locked on a pair of chocolate brown eyes staring into mine with a look of surprise and amazement. My mouth had gone dry and I cleared my throat beginning to speak, looking away from him. “Thank you. Now, I need to have a bit of water and I’ll be right back.”
I stood up, putting my guitar on a stand. I walked quickly to the barista and asked for a bottle of water, my fingers playing with each other nervously as I prayed Peter wouldn’t come and talk to me.
“In all of the months I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you this nervous, Y/N,” said the kind, old Barista. “You’d think a bomb was about to go off just by how stressed you are. You alright?”
I bit my lip and leaned closer to him. “You know that guy? The one that I buy coffees for?”
“Midnight coffees guy? Yeah!” He exclaimed.
I widened my eyes and shushed him. “Please be quiet; he’s the brunet one, brown eyes. The one that was looking at me all shocked.”
Keith, the Barista, just gave me a look. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, sweetheart, but there were a lot of brunet, brown-eyed boys looking at you all shocked.”
“Y/N?” Peter called.
I closed my eyes and bit my lip, silently cursing the heavens as I faked a smile and turned around. “Hey, Peter! What are you doing here?”
“Oh,” Keith commented.
“I… Well, I think I fi-figured out where you get the-the midnight coffee,” Peter stuttered.
“Well, seeing as you’re here, you have,” I chuckled. Keith gave me a water bottle and I smiled at him. I took the bottle in my hands.
“So,” Keith cleared his throat, “Who was that song about?” He asked. I turned to glare at him. He put his hands up in surrender.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied, my voice strained. “I never said it was about anybody.”
“Well, your songs are always about somebody,” he replied.
Let me explain what was going on here. See, Keith has shipped Peter and I ever since the third time I bought coffee at midnight. He’s been constantly trying to get me to confess. To tell you the truth, I’ve tried several times and I’ve screwed each attempt up.
“Peter, I need to tell you something urgent,” I told him bravely in the halls.
Peter, confused at my sudden outburst, turned to look at me, eyebrows furrowed. “What?” he asked.
I bit my lip and clenched my fists so hard that I was sure I was leaving wounds on the palms of my hands from my nails, which weren’t even that long. “I like… I like… I like tacos!” I told him.
“What?” He asked after a silence. He raised his eyebrow at me and smiled a little.
“I like tacos. And cheeseburgers. You know, as one meal. Like, you get the insides of the cheeseburgers… and put it into the taco… like… I love it,” I began choking up a bit, both from frustration at myself and embarrassment. “I love it so much,” I lied.
“Okay, Y/N,” he laughed. “I have to get to class now, okay? See you later.”
“Peter, you know what a ship is, right?” I asked.
Peter gasped at me, putting his hand on his chest and feigned offence. “Do you even have to ask?”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Well, okay. I was just checking. ‘Cause I ship two people, and I wanted you to know.”
“You ship a lot of people, Y/N.”
“Yeah, I know, but this pairing’s in real life!” I laughed, nudging him.
“Okay, then who is it?” He asked.
I bit my lip a little before opening my mouth to speak, but the words I wanted to say didn’t come out and instead what came out was, “Tony and Steve. The ultimate bromance.”
“What?!” He exclaimed.
“Yep,” I said, a bit bitterly. “Fantastic. Yep. Totally.”
“Tony would freak out if he knew.”
“I trust you with my life. Literally. If you told him, I’m pretty sure he’d kill me. Do me a favour: incase he finds out, I want to be cremated. Keep my books, too, would you? Don’t damage my babies. Keep them in good condition. They deserve to be read…”
“My songs aren’t always about people, Keith. What are you talking about?” I asked, trying to sound incredulous.
“So it wasn’t about that guy you have a crush on?” He asked.
“What guy?” Peter asked. I looked at Peter, then at Keith.
“There’s this guy who she just cannot shut up about. She buys him coffee all the time. Seriously, it’s both adorable and incredibly frustrating. She can’t seem to tell him about her feelings,” Keith continued.
I put my hand on my head, feeling a migraine coming on. “Please just stop talking,” I begged.
“She thinks he’s too good for her, could you believe it? If anybody’s too good for her, they’re probably too good to be true,” Keith chuckled.
I looked up at the ceiling. “Please kill me. Let the light fall on me or let there be poison in my water. Please kill me,” I pleaded.
“That’s crazy,” Peter said after a moment. “Y/N, you’re a great person. Whoever it is, they’d be incredibly lucky to have you.”
“Open a pit beneath my feet and let it eat me, I don’t care just kill me,” I whispered.
“So, who is it?” Peter asked, either ignoring my pleas or not hearing them altogether.
“Funny you should ask,” Keith commented.
I slammed my hands on the desk, surprising myself and I looked at Keith. “Do you want to tell him?” I asked.
Keith’s face lit up like he was a child on Christmas morning. “Can I?”
I put my hands up in exasperation. “You know what, I’ve tried too many times. Far too many. More than I’d like to admit, so you know, you can do it. I’m seemingly unable to,” I chuckled. “I’m gonna go and perform and you can tell him,” I took a swig of my water and walked back to the stage, leaving Peter confused.
“Hey guys. Let’s start with the next song. This one’s called… This one’s called Would You Be So Kind. I found it on Youtube while I was studying. It’s by Dodie Clark, and I think it’s really cute, but I don’t think I’m gonna think that in a few minutes, so I’m gonna sing it while it’s still cute. I hope you like it.” I took my guitar and began to sing the song.
“I have a question; it might seem strange,” I began, “How are your lungs? Are they in pain?” I kept singing the song, trying to get lost in the music, but I couldn’t help but feel nervous. My eyes locked on the scene unfolding in front of me with Peter and Keith. I could see Keith whispering while Peter’s eyes were locked on me.
“'Cause mine are aching… think I know why. I kinda like it, though. You wanna try?” I smiled before continuing, “Oh, would you be so kind as to fall in love with me? You see, I’m trying. I know you know that I like you, but that’s not enough, so if you will please fall in love. I think it’s only fair - There’s gotta be some butterflies somewhere, wanna share? ‘Cause I like you, but that’s not enough. So if you will, please fall in love with me,” I sang, now finally getting lost in the words because I understood them well enough. I was in that situation right now.
“Let’s write a story. Be in my book. You’ve got to join me on my page… At least take a look,” I pleaded as I sang, “Oh, where are your manners? You need some time? Let’s swap chests today; that might help you decide.”
“Oh, would you be so kind as to fall in love with me? You see, I’m trying. I know you know that I like you, but that’s not enough, so if you will please fall in love. I think it’s only fair - There’s gotta be some butterflies somewhere, wanna share? 'Cause I like you, but that’s not enough. So if you will, please fall in love with me.”
I surprised myself, and him too, when I began to cry. “Oh, do me a favour, can your heart rate rise a little? Do me a favour, can your heart rate rise a little?”
“Oh, would you be so kind as to fall in love with me? You see, I’m trying. I know you know that I like you, but that’s not enough, so if you will please fall in love. I think it’s only fair - There’s gotta be some butterflies somewhere, wanna share? 'Cause I like you, but that’s not enough. So if you will, please fall in love with me,” I ended with a final strum, my gaze not leaving Peter’s. I cleared my throat again, looking down as I wiped my tears.
“I think I’m gonna stop for the day. Thank you for listening,” I looked at the other audience members. I quickly packed my things and waved at Keith, who waved back before I left.
I walked quickly, navigating the streets of Queens as I arrived back at my flat. I walked in, putting my guitar on case on the floor as more tears spilled from my eyes. Peter knew; he had to. He just… he didn’t like me that.
That’s okay. That was okay. It was okay for him not to like me. That’s fine. It was fine. I was going to be fine. Peter could fall in love with whoever the hell he wanted to fall in love with-
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door. I wiped more of my tears and opened the door to find Peter standing in my hallway, two cups of coffee in his hands. I bit my lip, letting him in silently. He walked in and put the coffee on my desk.
“Okay. I know. I screwed up and I’m a coward, I know. I get it. I’m a complete idiot and I know that you’re Spiderman and that, you know, you have better things to do than girls-” I paused, “Not that I’m insinuating that you should do girls, I mean- agh, why is this so hard?” I shook my head as I rambled on and on about phrasing and words and how I struggled with them. My eyes couldn’t seem to settle on Peter.
“Anyways, the point is: I know I screwed up by liking you, and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you or that Keith did or that I even ended up liking you and complicating things for you. So, here’s the deal: I know you don’t like me, so I’ll help make this a little less awkward for you by telling you that it’s okay; it’s fine. You don’t have to say it; I know. Okay? Good? Is that out of the way?” I asked, finally looking at him.
Upon looking at him, I saw that he was smiling at me. “What?” I asked, “Why are you smiling?” He walked closer to me. “What… what are you doing?”
He kissed me.
Peter Parker kissed me.
And when he pulled away I said, “Holy crap.”
He laughed. “I really like you. So, could you do me a favour and just accept that?”
“Yeah,” I choked out, beginning to grin, “Yeah, I think I can do that.”