thinkin of life

“it doesn’t matter if it was a relationship or a friendship. when it ends, your heart breaks.”

- Day 26

i acted like it wasn’t a big deal, when really it was breaking my heart.

Day 17

You can’t just keep walking in and out of my life. You’re killing me. One day, I just won’t let you come back in.

But the truth, I can never walk away like you.

“I’m so tired of saying goodbyes. Please don’t make me say it to you too.” She murmured sleepily.

“Would it hurt less if you don’t say it?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No.” She shook her head again. “It will be always the same. Sometimes worse.”

—  Excerpt from the book I’ll never write #43
When it comes down to it, he’s the only one I want. He’s the only one I can imagine myself with. His hands are the only hands I want to hold. His lips are the only lips I ever want to kiss. His voice is the only sound I want to fall asleep to and his eyes are the only sight I want to wake up to. He’s the only one I think about when a love song comes on the radio and he’s the very last thought running through my head before I drift off to sleep. He’s the only person I could see myself happy with.

“i still remember the feeling when i first started talking to you.”

- Day 29

Letting go

I’m struggling with not talking to you, but what’s worse and what I never realized was how much I thought about you. You are in so many of thoughts.

I unknowingly check my phone when I know I won’t see you. I do a thousand little things hoping to catch your attention or impress you for no reason. You won’t see me. You won’t change your mind.

So not talking to you I can deal with, but thinking about you constantly and knowing it won’t change anything is the worst part!

I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.

“he ignores you, but you like him. he does nothing, but you fall for him. you miss him even though he’s never thought about you.”

- Day 22