think about how worthless you are

why does nobody ever talk about how the belief of “romance is the top priority” is so toxic and dangerous? how it causes more harm than good?

this doesn’t even just affect aromantic people. this belief harms anyone and everyone.

there are people that literally believe their life has no point because they don’t have a significant other. there’s mentally ill/neurodivergent people that think they’re worthless and meaningless and disgusting because they can’t find someone who wants to date them, even if they’re showered with love from their friends and/or family. but the love only counts if it’s romantic, right?

society is constantly perpetuating the idea that you were born to find a romantic partner and that romance is the only way to be truly happy, and it’s so messed up. this completely disregards other great moments in life, like personal achievements that make you feel like you’re on top of the world and the things nobody glorifies simply because it’s not romance.

your pet(s) pulling a smile out of you every time you see them. having a deep, emotional talk with a friend and being reminded that someone cares about you. enjoying alone time with yourself. reaching a milestone or getting through a hard time. these things are so wonderful and amazing, but it’s not romance, so it doesn’t matter, right? it’s boring and insignificant.

and it really shows when questions like “do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?” and “have you settled down with someone yet?” are asked. it shows how society thinks romance is the most important thing to experience in life. the “yet” implies that romance is a requirement, that you’ll have to find it eventually. but what if you don’t want to? if you simply aren’t interested in that stuff right now or if you won’t ever be interested?

romance is not everything. remember that. you were not born to “find someone” or to “have a soulmate”. you don’t need romance in your life for it to be a good one. you are allowed to not include it in your priorities. it doesn’t matter if nobody has a crush on you or wants to date you. it literally doesn’t matter. that has absolutely no importance to your worth as a human being. you were not brought into this world to impress and find a potential mate. you’re here to live and to do what makes you happy.

romance can be nice, but it is not everything. please, please remember that.

Okay. So #studyblrs get real isn’t trying to offend anyone. I’ve gotten some anon messages that are really rude and I’ve just straight up deleted them.

#studyblrs get real is just that, we’re getting real. I’ve rewritten my notes to be aesthetically pleasing one time. Uno. Ein. Yeah that’s the only languages I know one in.

The studyblr aesthetic isn’t most people’s real life studies methods. It’s some people’s, and I want to congratulate those who manage to keep the aesthetic up.

But honestly, it’s not real life. Real life is being up at 2 AM, surrounded by four empty cups, Rice Krispies Treat wrappers, and a pizza box with just pizza crust in it, and grease marks on your paper. Real life is not having time to make these AMAZING and GORGEOUS notes, because you’re studying for the grade, NOT the notes.

People say you just need to “study” to be a studyblr, but why is it only the MUJIs, the Mildliners, and the Staedtlers get reblogged? Why doesn’t the pictures of sloppy, coffee stained notes get reblogged? The rain drenched crinkled notes that don’t get rewritten. The notes with more scribbles than legible writing.

Underneath is why I think that #studyblrs get real needs to become popular, and fast, which has been taken from what I said in a conversation with @universi-tea where the idea for #studyblrs get real came up.

Teens that are growing up may not know what they’re facing, because aesthetic studyblr makes it look like sunshine and lollipops.

“I’ve been through things that will commonly happen. I’ve been rejected by my dream school, and I’ve cried at 4 AM in the morning because my fourth SAT scores weren’t high enough to meet requirements after months of studying. I’ve taken AP classes. I’ve graduated.

Your high school/college/university experience may have been different, but mine was a rude awakening and I’m trying to prevent others from crashing and burning like I did. I was an all A student in high school, even with AP classes. I graduated fifth in my class with 25 credits from AP scores, in which my school only offered seven AP classes.

My first test in uni was a 38 in Business Calculus. A fucking 38 out of 100. I remember it very vividly (Thursday night, and the Blacklist was on.) It was like someone was trying play a joke on me because I had NEVER gotten that low of a test grade before. I remember looking at my scores, and the sense of dread settling into the pit of my stomach. I cried, and then called my old AP Bio teacher (idk why now that I think about it) I had a panic attack, and I was by myself (lived alone.) Those two are very dangerous. My next test score was a 51. Rinse, and repeat.

Do you know how worthless I felt? How long my mom yelled at me after I called her? How my friends reacted when they found out? I went and had a four hour conversation with the professor, who told me that this was the most common thing he saw in a class with freshmen in it. That they come thinking that they’re prepared and they are by no means prepared. I had to go to tutoring. For every single class but one. This was so fucking embarrassing. I had gone from the tutor in HS to the tutored in Uni.

My best friend went to the North Carolina School of Math and Science. Extremely prestigious, and extremely hard. “It’s like taking uni classes when you’re 16, 17, and 18, but you don’t get credit for them as college classes.” I’ve known my best friend since I was 10-ish. She’s the most level headed, and the smartest person I know. She calls me frequently, crying, because the work load. She spent a whole week with me trying to get over one failing grade.

This embarrassment, this shame and lack of self worth I experienced in uni is something I NEVER want ANYONE to experience. I’m trying to prevent these people younger than I am from feeling this way, because I had sunk into a depression because of grades. Grades that could’ve been prevented, had I known the truth.

Sure, the studyblr aesthetic may work in some people’s lives, but in college/uni, you’re being pulled in so many directions. I don’t know of a single person in any of my classes that have gorgeous notes. Hell, I don’t know anyone who can even afford to buy nice planners, or buy fresh fruit. Being “a broke college student” is entirely legit.

But all this aside, if you’ve managed to live out the studyblr aesthetic in university and keep up your grades, you better be DAMN proud of yourself. I’m not trying to make anyone mad. This is the reality most of us experience. It’s the honest truth, and I had to find out the hard way. I just don’t want anyone else to find out the hard way, either.“

anonymous asked:

How can I tell if I'm actually going through emotional abuse and not just being overemotional?

well, here’s a few signs:

  • if you are scared of somebody 
  • if they call you names, invalidate your feelings, apologize insincerely for upsetting you, or manipulate you
  • if somebody has ever called you “worthless”, “useless”, “good for nothing”, or any other variation of telling you that you don’t have value
  • if you think about all your actions in words in terms of “will this make them mad at me” because they tend to get mad over small things
  • if you feel like you have to change your demeanor and personality to suit them because otherwise they’ll be angry
  • if you can’t set up boundaries like “take time to cool down when you’re mad so you don’t call me names”
  • if you don’t have a space that is just yours for at least some time during each day because they invade it
  • if you fear they will go through your phone, diary, journal, etc
  • if you are asking “am i being emotionally abused” that’s also a pretty big indicator that you are
I’m sorry I could never be the daughter you wanted
  • someone: you were pretty good at that thing, why'd you stop doing it?
  • me internally: I get extremely anxious when I think about doing something I might possibly succeed at because I base my self-worth on my achievements and other people's approval, I am afraid because I know I will never be able to live up to my own unrealistic expectations, I hate making mistakes because they make me feel worthless, I take negative feedback too personally, I feel immense guilt over not doing things that I've been avoiding which just makes me avoid them more, I feel ashamed and inadequate due to how difficult it is for me to stay committed to anything, I'm worried that I'll just end up disappointing myself and the entire world, and I am convinced that if I failed I would literally die.
  • me externally: idk i guess i've just been kinda busy lol

getting a good grade as a “gifted” child doesn’t like actually feel good for very long or allow you to be happy with your success or anything ime, it just means that you’ve escaped the immediate necessity of self-castigation & proven that you’re not completely worthless THIS time, so you’re just briefly relieved and them immediately have to start worrying about the next grade that you’re going to get

also there’s not really much of a thing as a “good” grade, there’s an “acceptable” grade which is 100% of the points that you could have earned on something, and an “unacceptable” grade which is anything else and which will lead to self-reproach no matter how “good” other people might think it is

Listen, being a fanfic writer is the weirdest thing. You write alone, building a world in your brain, seeming like a normal crazy person in this large world. But then you post the story and it’s like a revelation. The gates of heaven and hell open simultaneously and you’re left in a dilemma because you are the focus of a thousand eyes and you are the focus of a thousand eyes. You might not even be using your given name and might be the most ignored person in the ‘outside world’ but in the space of your laptop screen and that story, you become some sort of a fairy godmother who grants the deepest wishes of people craving more stories. 

Then you come onto Tumblr or some other site where fandoms hound, where you meet other people. Some of them turn out to be writers who have made you weep into your sodden pillow at 3 a.m. because of a 11 chapter fic. You feel like a termite in comparison to them and stare intensely at their blogs every day, creating wondrous imaginations about how they might be. There are pedestals for gods and then there are thrones for these mere mortals who are immortal in your opinion. You have hated the kudos button for restricting your love for them. You don’t dare to look them in the eye or chat with them.

And then one day they reblog one of your posts or like it or do something equally simple. You hear angels cry and have endless internal screaming chants, with a few tears trickling down your cheeks. You think you have achieved nirvana. Is there anything more to do in this worthless hellsite life, you wonder. What more could you ask for?

So you try to act mature and think you have made a fool of yourself.

Turns out, they’re equally pathetic as you and have been gushing over your work as well.

You learn quickly that you’re all on the same boat and that moment, that moment of realization is when you understand why words are magic and writers are ridiculously human.

Fanfic writers are the most attention seeking, tired, annoyed, dorky people and anyone who thinks that they are people you need to admire from a distance needs to try having a chat once. You’ll find the resemblance of lost puppies or old cats.

To the one who broke my heart,
Thank you.
You might be thinking “why are you thanking me?”
But, to be completely honest, you breaking me was the best thing you could have ever done for me.
Thank you for making me feel worthless, because now I know that I deserve more than you ever could have given me. You made me realize that, regardless on if you saw it or not, that I am fucking worth it.
Thank you for making everything out to be my fault all the time, because you made me realize that I am not a terrible person, and not everything is my fault. I also learned that there is a limit to how hard you can try for a person, who isn’t willing to try for you.
Thank you for never actually loving me, because once I realized that you never did, I realized I never should have put so much time into you. I realized that I could have spent time working on myself, or being with someone who actually cared about me instead.
So thank you for absolutely destroying me. Because by you breaking my fucking heart, I learned how to love myself. I learned that I AM worth it. That my feelings are VALID. That just because you didn’t see my worth, or appreciate the hell I put myself through, to make you happy…that doesn’t mean that no one ever will. Just because you didn’t think I was worth it, doesn’t mean I’m not. It doesn’t mean I’m disposable, or worthless, or anything other than a HUMAN FUCKING BEING.
Thank you for breaking my heart, because that was the best thing you ever could have done for me.
From,
The girl you never, ever deserved.
—  a girl who finally moved on
Luckiest Girl. (F)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: Fluff. So. Much. Fluff.
Word count: 1.9k


Summary: You asked Jimin what he thought of your new hair, expecting a short response but what he said blew you away, making you completely speechless and so close to shedding tears of joy.

Keep reading

If you think you’re worthless, stop scrolling right now and read.

I’m writing this for a specific mutual, but it isn’t only true for one person, so read on.

You know those inspirational posts you see people reblog every day?

Stuff about people all throughout history who failed and went bankrupt and were depressed and were told they weren’t good enough - and yet somehow they rose above it and defied all those notions to become heroes and legends and history makers and culture movers. And the post always ends with “so don’t be hard on yourself when you mess up” and it’s all nice and sweet and pretty. Maybe you scroll past them. Maybe you hardly ever see them on your dash at all.

Maybe you’re among those who reblogs these posts.

But maybe every time you hit the reblog or the like button, your brain is whispering “this isn’t about you” and “yes people can do amazing things, but not you” and “ah yes amazing stories, too bad it will never happen to you” and you listen to these whisperings and you laugh and shake your head…

Because you know exactly where you stand: worthless. irredeemable. a loser. a lost cause.

Please.

Please.

Listen to me.

As your friend.

As a stranger who doesn’t know you. Who doesn’t have to know you, or your failings, or your depression, or your anxiety, or your embarrassments, or your deepest darkest most heinous crimes.

Stop.

Just stop.

Look up. Look around you. Open. Your. Eyes. Are they open? Good. Keep them open. Don’t ever close them again. See the world. See you: a human being, valid, flawed, journeying, changing, growing, scraping, failing, rising, a masterpiece that will never be made again.

You are beautiful. You who think you are overweight and lazy. You are beautiful. You who think you are stupid and uneducated. You are beautiful. You who think you are a loser, and amount to nothing. You are beautiful. You who bleed and ache and never rest. You are beautiful.

You have worth.

Want to know a secret? If you wake up in the morning and tell yourself you’re not going to amount to anything that day, then you aren’t going to. If you go to bed at night thinking nothing will change tomorrow, then you are going to change nothing.

Because you’ve resigned yourself to that lie. And it is a lie, friend. A straight-out, soul-condemning, out-of-the-pit, self-deprecating, self-pitying lie. A lie you don’t have to believe. A lie you should not believe.

If you stand in the corner and bow your head and stare at the ground, you’ve already lost the battle without fighting. This is a surrender in which there is no honor, and in it there is no hope.

Life isn’t easy, friend. Life isn’t fair. It’s hard. And getting things done is hard. Some days, just getting up out of bed is hard. Just breathing. Just doing homework. Just going to work. Just trying to keep the dishes and trash from overflowing.

But we do it anyway.

Why? Because there’s life to live. There are choices to be made. Jokes to laugh at. Awkward conversations to be had. Art to mess up and start over on. Jobs to work. Pizza to be eaten.

We do it anyway.

So guess what?

You do it anyway too.

Why? Because of this:

You are special.

Right now, this second, turn off the voice that hears these Disney-fied words and scoffs and ignores them. Listen.

There is not a human being who has ever lived or ever will live on this planet that is not important, that is not here for a reason. No life is worthless, and most certainly not yours. My God doesn’t make worthless things, and he doesn’t make mistakes. There are no extra pieces in this universe, no spare parts. He made you. And he made you for a purpose, and that purpose is not to sit in your room, afraid to try, afraid to love, afraid to hope, afraid to climb and fall and hurt and get back up again.

Want to know another secret? You aren’t alone. Every single human being in the history of everything has struggled with feeling worthless at some point in their life. Every single one. That is not a lie. Your feelings of worthlessness are not what is special about you. You are what is special about you. The God who created you is what is special about you.

No matter what you’re going through, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you have failed to do, someone else has gone through worse. Sometimes, a lot worse.

Oh, now you feel invalidated. “Why can’t I just believe in myself? Other people have it worse, I shouldn’t complain, I should just try harder, but I know trying harder isn’t going to help, so what’s the point.”

Guess what?

Stop that too.

Stop it dead in its tracks.

Kill that thought. Every day. Every morning. Every minute it shows its ugly lying face. Kill it and put it to rest. Stack headstones on top of it and move away, far far way, friend.

Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know where you’ve been, but you don’t know where I’ve been either. Don’t ignore hope because you think it’s for other people. Don’t keep yourself from making an effort, and pushing yourself forward. Bury the lie. You have worth. You are loved. You are important. God does not make worthless things.

One of my favorite lyrics says “How does it end when the war that you’re in is just you against you against you? You’ve got to learn to love, learn to love your enemies too.”

Learn to love.

Your enemy.

Yourself.

Start learning to see you the way God sees you.

See you the way I see you.

Perfect.

Worthwhile.

Amazing.

Just at the very beginning.

Every single day you wake up is a brand new start.

A bright new chance. Every. Single. One. You will never stop getting chances for as long as you are here, so why dismiss them? Isn’t that the most beautiful thing there is? You get to keep trying. Every single day. You have the gift to go again, try again, start again, live again, breathe again, hope again.

Guess what. When the morning is wasted, the afternoon is still there. When the afternoon is wasted, the evening is still there. When the evening is wasted, the night is still there. And then morning comes again.

So the next time you see a motivational post, an inspiring reblog, a story about how someone overcame something horrible, and turned it into something amazing, look long and hard and take courage, find hope in that. Stop dismissing it as being from a universe you have no part in. Stop putting yourself to that measuring stick and turning away because you’re not there yet.

You’re looking at the end result. At some point, they were standing in your shoes. They couldn’t see the end. They couldn’t see what they might or might not amount to. They had no idea, just like you now. Just exactly like you.

Hope, my friend. Every time you start to think “I can/will never” do this or that or amount to anything or accomplish anything… Hope. Stop those thoughts immediately. Kill them. Bury them. Never stop burying them. They are lies and you are better than them.

Drive them out. Open your eyes. Look around. Pick yourself up. Brush away the tears. “I will try. My God doesn’t make worthless things, so I am not worthless. My God does not create without meaning, so I have meaning. I am here for a reason. Today I will live to find out what that reason is for today. And tomorrow I will hope again.”

Life is hard, my friend. Stop beating yourself up. You are worth more and capable of more than you can ever imagine or hope or dream. Don’t let your past or present failures stop you or beat you down. Keep going, keep hoping, keep killing the lies. You are bigger than them, you go beyond them. And God is greater, and he knows your heart. Trust him. Wake up. Open your eyes. Move forward. Keep your eyes open.



“You’ve got all that emotion that’s heaving like an ocean
And you’re drowning in a deep, dark well
I can hear it in your voice that if you only had a choice
You would rather be anyone else

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He made your precious heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

I know it’s hard to hear it when that anger in your spirit
Is pointed like an arrow at your chest
When the voices in your mind are anything but kind
And you can’t believe your Father knows best

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He’s shaping your heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Well how does it end when the war that you’re in
Is just you against you against you
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

You can’t expect to be perfect
It’s a fight you’ve gotta forfeit
You belong to me whatever you do
So lay down your weapon, darling
Take a deep breath and believe that I love you

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

You are loved ❤

For anyone that’s been going through crap lately and feels worthless, you aren’t. Right now things may seem horrible,but please trust me when I say it’s going to get better. Its going to take time but your life is going to start improving and you must push yourself. You are strong and I believe in you. You are not worthless,you were put here on Earth for a reason. That reason may not be clear to you yet,but you just have to hang on. If people are pushing you down, telling you that you aren’t going to make it, you need to believe and push yourself so when you achieve your goals they will look up to you and realize how wrong they were. Don’t care about what people think or say about you. You can be whatever or whoever you want to be, as long as you're​ happy. No one should ever tell you the way to dress,look,or act because you are YOU. If you feel as suicide is the only option, its not. Suicide doesn’t end sadness or depression,it just passes it on. You need to believe in yourself and tell yourself that you are loved and cared for. You need to love yourself because you are all you got. You will have friends that will come and go, some will stay,but you are with yourself forever. Please, stay strong and push through life’s hard times so you can enjoy the good ones.
~beth

how far have you walked for men who’ve never held your feet in their laps?
how often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short?
why do you find the unavailable so alluring?
where did it begin? what went wrong? and who made you feel so worthless?
if they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you?
all this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they couldn’t hear you, but they smelt it on you, you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin?
and what about the others that would do anything for you, why did you make them love you until you could not stand it?
how are you both of these women, both flighty and needful?
where did you learn this, to want what does not want you?
where did you learn this, to leave those that want to stay?
—  Warsan Shire, “Questions for the Woman I was Last Night”

anonymous asked:

I haven't gone to school for weeks now. I lost all motivation to complete this school year, which ends next month, and I have no friends either. Everything seems useless. I don't know what to do anymore.

take a break. i think you really need to figure out who you are, what you want in life, and how to go about finding happiness for yourself. take a leave of absence and use that time to rest, reflect, and restart.

i remember when i would walk back to my dorm room in tears after critique days because i felt so worthless compared to the rest of my peers. i doubted myself a lot and thought i had been lying to myself (and been lied to by others) about my potential and talent. but during my leave of absence, i realized i was the one creating all of these assumptions and labels, not anyone else. i realized that i had simply been lost, confused, and unprepared to jump right into college life 3,000 miles away from home. and at the time, i thought that was unacceptable. everyone else was coping and handling everything just fine, so why couldn’t i? was i not strong enough? was i incapable? was i not college material? no. i was just different. and that was okay.

i think you need to know and reassure yourself that it’s okay to be sad and stressed and unmotivated. but don’t think being in a slump means you’re stuck forever. you have all the power in the world to start over again, but only if YOU choose to. no one can force you to go to classes, make friends, or be inspired. only YOU can do that. and only YOU can make that happen when YOU realize you are worth it.

This post was triggered by something that @roachpatrol​ said over here about the expectation for girls to be sweet and clean and harmless:

Holy shit, if I was eight years younger and wandering into fandom for the first time, I can guarantee that the culture right now would’ve fucked me up and ground me down and taken away all my healthy outlets.

Picture: you are a girl at the tender young age of mumbledyteen. Up until this point you have been taught that all dark thoughts are literally hand-delivered into your head by the devil, and that the only correct method of dealing with negativity is to ignore them and pray harder. Concentrate on what is good and righteous and pure to the exclusion of all else, this is how you be a good person.

You are also a fully-functioning human being, one who can feel stressed or lonely or angry or any number of bad things. Mostly, with emotions that are still working themselves out, you feel this rumbling, white-hot white noise under everything, all the time. Sometimes it rolls in like a thunderstorm and everything else gets drowned out, and sometimes it’s only quietly muttering in the distance. Either way it’s always there, and the sound shreds uncomfortably at the inside of your brain.

When you were younger, before you were in charge of your own media consumption, your brain would shred up a myriad of saccharine stories to try and match the noise of the shredder in your head. Bad things happening, people getting hurt, characters trapped in unhealthy relationships of all kinds.

Fanfiction, the product of a hundred thousand other mumbledyteens whose brains are all screaming the same way, makes something in your brain go ping

Unfortunately, if the planet had ever been united on any single message, it was probably that no matter how you feel: 1) your feelings weren’t unique 2) they didn’t matter 3) they didn’t matter because they weren’t unique, they were shared among millions of hysterical, worthless teenaged girls just like you.

Fandom was confirmation of the first, but (with some hiccups along the way) outright rejection of the last two. Fuck you, our feelings do matter, and this is a story just for us.

A disclaimer: these aren’t good stories, otherwise they wouldn’t have to be defended. Their flavor of topic is not within societally acceptable bounds. Fictional characters have sex and get tortured and raped and abused, but their screaming harmonizes with the pitch of the shredder when it’s burrowing deepest.


As a teenager I never thought that my feelings were important enough to deal with, but these stories let me look at them sideways. Audience catharsis is the whole point of tragedy, after all.

And hell, these days I’m a happy, healthy adult who barely even has the urge to go looking for whump fic when I’ve had a bad week. I’m not going to forget just how much bad stuff that fic helped me air out, though, not ever. (Not to mention that thanks to all of those abuse!fics, I can recognize an unhealthy relationship at 500 paces, even if the fictional abuse was depicted as something loving and romantic. Abusers in real life don’t go around with helpful warning tags on their sleeves anyway.)

But holy shit, can you imagine if I’d found fandom as it is today.

Yes, your church is right, your family is right. Horrible things in stories are only there because they were written by horrible people, and they’re only popular because horrible people read them. The very concepts they address corrupt everything they touch.

That shredder in your head, the one that takes innocent cartoons but then shits out sadness and mayhem? That’s disgusting, you’re disgusting. How dare you think about minors having underaged sex, you minor? How dare you consider another person getting hurt? Your feelings don’t matter, they aren’t unique, they’re shared with all kinds of worthless shitbags just like you.

Every ounce of what you read and write and enjoy is going to be weighed for sin and tested for purity. You know, just like the rest of your life, except this time there’s no deity who’s handing out second chances.

Maybe that’s what bothers me most about all of this. It’s the same petty fandom bullshit as always, but “you’re wrong for liking a ship because IT WILL NEVER BE CANON” is a hell of a lot easier to laugh off when you’re young than “you’re wrong for liking a ship because YOU’RE AN ABUSIVE PEDOPHILE AND IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR PERPETUATING IT.”

My fault, my bad thoughts, no outlet for any of them. The message to repress all the bad things so I can look like a good person, but my brain is so full of unprocessed shit that it’s solidified. Nobody actually saved any real children, but my brain sure is getting a second dose of fucked-up.

Are the people getting attacked going to be okay, will they be able to go and address their braingremlins somewhere else? I’d also ask if the people doing the attacking are okay, with all of the denial and repression they must deal with, but it seems like they’ve got venting pretty well handled by taking it out on strangers. 

Hey, c’mon, calm down friends. I bet I’ve read a story that’s got a character screaming at just the same pitch you are.

It helps to read one of those and harmonize your voices, I promise.

when i think about vincent van gogh dying thinking he was unloved, unappreciated, and that his art was worthless, and how now we consider him not only an artistic genius but one of the most loved and admired people in history,, man, what if thats us too. we are not born for our time, but we feel warmth sinking in through the ages from people we will never meet who will love us more than we love ourselves

Kai scenario - My Lady

non-requested

genre: angst, DRAMATIC ENDING, smut, royalty-present, virgin

Summary: Falling for someone can always be difficult, but when he is betrothed to someone else, everything is difficult.

A/N this can be either present or olden time royals. your choice. I kept the language kind of broad between both eras.

wordcount: 9.000+ (the longest one yet!)

Keep reading

I think what really bothers me about all of the talk about millennials being so entitled, so shallow, the “trophy for breathing” generation, is that for a good chunk of us that’s bullshit.
My parents were abusive, alcoholic religious fanatics who taught me that I was stupid, ugly and worthless.
It took me years to learn that that wasn’t true. That’s shit I struggle with every day and I probably will for the rest of my life.
And these fucking middle-aged shits want to talk about how terrible my generation is right to my face, like theirs didn’t fuck me up.
So you know what? If I want to post a fucking picture on instagram one day to make myself feel a little better I’m gonna do it and you can eat my ass, susan

anonymous asked:

I loved ur HC's for MC leaving the RFA because she's too dangerous, can I get a follow up where they ask 707 to search for MC and he's only able to find information about why she left and who she really is, how would the RFA react to the truth about MC and the true reason for which she left? Still no happy ending because he still can't find her at all, just that information. Thanks! ^-^ Love your blog!

Lool, ok! But V is not in this one (You must know why, even if i ignore that fact he would do the same thing or he would always try to find you, so it wouldn’t be so good.) Thank you for your request and i hope you like it!

PART ONE HERE

Yoosung

  • He was in Seven’s house after he called Yoosung because he said he have something to tell him.
  • Seven turns off his security system…He doesn’t want to let Yoosung angry or anything.
  • He knows that Yoosung is bad enough right now, he knows how to depress he is, how worthless he feels…
  • How he gives up on school and on his life
  • When Yoosung got there, Seven sighs….Sad to see his friend so destroyed.
  • But when Seven begins to talk about you, Young’s eyes brighten up
  • After that, he gives him a big smile and hugs him tightly “THANK YOU…!” After that, he just runs.
  • Seven give a little laugh, thinking his friend will be fine now.
  • Yoosung got home so quickly, with that big smile on his face! He’s just too happy that all those things you said were lies!
  • But when he realizes that all that information was useless…That smile got smaller.
  • And then he realizes that you’re probably not coming back…The smile fades away.
  • That didn’t change anything.
  • Actually, he is even worse now just to think about what could have happened to you…
  • He lost two important people in his life, two people were sent away.
  • Yoosung just can’t sleep…He needs medication.
  • But wait…
  • I think he took too many pills this time.


Zen

  • Zen can’t even look at himself in the mirror…He knows he is drinking and smoking too much.
  • He doesn’t even answer calls, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone.
  • But that day Seven was banging on his door, so he opens it “Oh…Seven…What’s up?”
  • Seven’s face is a surprised face…What happened to Zen?
  • But he’s trying to play it cool…If Zen knows how horrible he is now…He would be worse.
  • “…I have some information about MC…” And then Seven told him everything, Zen’s paying attention to it.
  • When Seven finish Zen just gives him a little smile “…Did you find her?”
  • Seven sighs, look like that’s all that Zen wants to know “No…”
  • Zen’s face is now full of sadness “Thank you…”
  • He closes the door.
  • Seven knows insisting will not help, so he goes away.
  • Zen kept thinking and thinking with his eyes closed when he opens it… He is facing a mirror.
  • Now he sees how he is now.
  • He gives a little laugh with tears falling from his eyes, touching his face gently…
  • He looks like a monster.
  • He picks another cigarette and lights it up, sitting on the couch, smoking…He doesn’t care about his appearance at all…He finally realizes it.
  • He needs you…But he already accepts it…You’ll not come back.
  • And now he’s finished…Even if you come back…You’ll not even recognize him.
  • He doesn’t see a purpose of keeping this life.
  • He looks at the cigarette after he takes it from his mouth “…Why i heal so fast…?This thing will take ages to work on me…”
  • He sighs and he throws the cigarette on the ground “…I should buy a gun…It would a dramatic end…”
  • He smiles, thinking.

Jaehee

  • All those words…That hurt so much.
  • That pain in her chest is too much too.
  • Everyday sorrow, pain…Tears.
  • Everybody in that cafe can see that she is not well, but she insists on giving that broken smile to everyone.
  • And refuse any kind of help.
  • What is Jaehee Kang? A pity.
  • But one day Seven called her, and then he told her everything.
  • While he’s saying, she’s smiling so much…All those words…All of those words were lies!
  • Even when he said that he didn’t find you, she kept that smile on her face.
  • She will wait for you!
  • Every day, she is with a genuine smile on her face looking at the cafe door, waiting to see you!
  • People are really worried about her…But she always says that she is waiting for the love of her life to come back!
  • Jaehee never gives up…Time is nothing!
  • Even those white hair and wrinkles can stop her!
  • But…Time will soon.
  • He’ll stop her from waiting for you…After forty years.

Jumin

  • Jumin Han needs answers…Everybody can see he doesn’t look the same.
  • But when 7 told all the truth to him, Jumin just…smiled, a thing he didn’t do for some time.
  • He was right, all of those things were lies.
  • You love him, you want to protect him, and he is feeling happy about it.
  • He can forget about a lot of things…Especially those things…He loves you, you’re his wife now.
  • He loses that smile when Seven says that he didn’t find you, he hangs up after a “Keep searching.”
  • He is waiting and waiting.
  • The alcohol is his best friend now, he keeps drinking and smiling, saying to himself that you were protecting him…But you’ll never come back at this rate.
  • His father goes to his penthouse after Jaehee say she was worried about Jumin state.
  • When his father arrives there…All the could see is a man, with a messy hair, tear up clothes, with a bottle of vodka in his hands next to a destroyed room…
  • That wasn’t his son…Jumin is not like that.
  • His father is crying, everybody was right…
  • Jumin Han is dead.
  • All they have left is a man who cries asking if you could come back.
  • He just wants to jump from the window…
  • But he takes a deep breath and he drowns in the hope that you might come back.

707

  • He couldn’t  find you…But then he sees he finds a lot of new information about you.
  • He read all that, with a surprised face.
  • When he finishes it, he starts to giggle with a little smile on his face, with tears falling from his face.
  • He starts to laugh a lot, with his mouth wide now, looking up, with the tears falling even more now.
  • He got sick.
  • You did the same thing as he was trying to do…Get away from you.
  • He knew you were lying when you said all those things…But oh god…He gave his life to you!
  • He doesn’t understand why you left even if he is almost just like you.
  • After laughing so much, he screams, throwing his computer to the wall falling on his knees to the ground.
  • He knows you’re not coming back…
  • And now he feels angry…How you made him stay…How you made him be there with you…
  • And when the same things were with you…You just got away.
  • He’ll try to find you, he has to talk to you about that!
  • He wants to die, but he wants to die peacefully after listening to your excuses.
  • But sometimes he can’t just concentrate, he starts to cry and then he has to start to pray…He wants to find you.
  • But he knows that not even God can help him now…This madness is too much.
  • He’s hurt…
  • Too much sadness to one body.
  • Error 707.
  • Shutting down.

literatureandimmature  asked:

Hcs with Prince Sidon with a particularly cynical s/o? (Like they just don't think they are good enough for anything and usually think the worst case scenario)

This is very much me though that’s why I need this man as my best friend,,

On another note your profile picture is very appealing??? I don’t know why, but I like looking at it


Sidon with a cynical s/o

- He is so confused by this mindset???

- And kind of upset too- How can someone think of theirself like this?? Especially his s/o?!

- Every time he hears these remarks, his heart is broken

- “My love, you are not worthless. Everything is going to turn out okay. Do you trust me? Yes? Good.”

- Is always there for them-need to vent? Hello, Sidon’s here. Worried about future events? He’s going to help you get through them.

- Constantly shouting encouragement to his s/o whenever he sees them

- Offers to get them any help he can, or if he can help them himself, he’s right on it

- Gets them to at least try new things-like cliff-jumping! He’s there to keep them safe, so nothing to worry about!

- Treats every day as a milestone, he’s super proud of his s/o for powering through it

- Tends to compliment his s/o a lot

- Plus all kinds of “I love you”s everywhere

- Overall, best person to date for these kind of things