things-i-need-to-make

Mars Moved. Commissions Resume.

As you all know from my post HERE, I was doing a flash sale on commissions to make enough cash to get me through my flight/move to start my new job. Like I mentioned in the post, it’s going to be a hot minute before a get my first real check BUT it’s not the end of October, it’s the first week of November! 

GASP!

So! I’ve gotta make it way longer than I thought. 

What this means for you all: I’m taking social media commissions until further notice! Email marissarei15@gmail.com if you need help sprucing up your social media and/or have a project that needs social media help.

I’m still only asking $10 but you can give extra if you’d like. 

If you don’t necessarily want a commission but want to help, here are my donation methods as well as a wishlist of things I need to make this new space home:

paypal.me/MarissaRei

Cash.me/$MarsinCharge

venmo.com/MarissaRei

https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/8VOH3MRQLM0G/ref=nav_wishlist_lists_1

Okay but I need to draw a comic where Amy dresses up as Wonder Woman for Halloween and then Kathryn walks in with the same costume and they just kinda shrug and continue on their merry way but then they walk in on Mark, Ethan and Tyler all in their own Wonder Woman costumes arguing like “WELL ONE OF US HAS TO CHANGE” “BUT I HAVE THE THIGHS FOR IT”

tips & tricks & i’ve learned in 21 years as a human girl who has adhd

some of these i’ve learned on my own, or from family/friends, or reddit/tumblr/pintrest/facebook. but i’ve compiled a list that has helped me remain focused, organized, and not having my mind go all over the place. some of them are just good to know.

1. don’t put it down, put it away (helps immensely with clutter)

2. use a planner for everything, not just school (i use an actual planner because writing it down actually helps me remember it better, but an app can work too)

3. color code class materials, use a different color for each subject (i’m a nursing student and i’m always running around like crazy, my binders, folders, and notebooks for each class each have their own color. ex: bio=green, chem=blue, psych=pink. that way if i’m in a rush, i never grab the wrong stuff.)

4. rewriting class notes, memos, important dates, & anything else worth remembering helps to engrain it in your mind 

5. meal prepping twice every week helps to save time & money & also helps to keep your meals nice and healthy (it also helps me remember to eat because sometimes i have a hard time doing so since my vyvanse suppresses my appetite. it also helps to eat before i take my meds because then i have a more normal appetite and i’m not cranky. i’m also someone who would rather just not eat because i get stressed if i have to cook something, so having something all set and ready to go for each meal is such a huge stress relief)

6. do some sort of exercise for 30 minutes at least 4 times a week because it gets rid of excess energy, helps you to focus, & look & feel great (i do 45 minutes of cardio every other day on the stair-stepper & i’ve just gotten really into weight lifting. cardio definitely helps me A LOT to not be so cranky or all over the place)

7. pick out and get your outfit for the next day, every single night (i pick out EVERYTHING from the actual clothes, to the underwear, socks, bra, shoes, & accessories. this helps because i also have a weird thing about how clothes fit over undergarments & i also have a weird thing about matching clothes with undergarments, socks, & shoes)

8. pack your backpack and whatever else you need the night before (i put all my class materials, snacks & drinks, chargers, gym clothes, etc in my bag every night before i go to bed so i don’t rush or forget anything in the morning)

9. have a bag full of essentials that you take everywhere (i have a purse that i keep my wallet, keys, a protein bar, a water, my iPad, a back up charger, pen, small notebook, planner, gum, & hand sanitizer that i take with me everywhere. everything has it’s own special pocket & i never lose track of the things i need)

10. make lists of “to’s” (to do, to remember, to buy)

11. go from room to room whenever you leave someplace to make sure you haven’t left anything behind 

12. use post-it notes in visible places as reminders

13. set aside one day per week to do stuff you need to get done (cleaning, schoolwork, chores, grocery shopping, etc)

14. have a “time out” for yourself every other day to relax and recharge (i set aside an hour or two every single day to read or watch a tv show or do something that doesn’t require too much thought or energy. i don’t answer calls or texts, and i try not to browse social media. this helps me relax and not feel overwhelmed throughout the day or the week)

15. set alarms for waking up, tasks, & cooking fro better time management (i use a great app called 30/30 thats a great task manager. it lets you set up a list with a set time for each task. the timer starts and you go about your task, once the time is up, it lets you know you should move onto your next task)

anonymous asked:

I'm 14 going on 15 and I hate how so many people who take a character that was just my age, and make creepy art and fic about him. I'm about to turn his current age and have been propositioned since I was 11 and was always told that adults who try things like that are perverts. So why is it when a bunch of 20 somethings pushing a teen who is around my age into a sexual relationship with an adult and do explicit crap, it's not perverted and gross? What about the teens who are feeling sexualized?

First off, thanks for writing me and being polite in your message. 

The first thing I want to address is this: you should never be made to feel sexualized. Unless it’s with someone you want to be sexual with, like a crush of yours. Even with someone you consider a crush, if you don’t want to feel that way and don’t want to do anything that can be considered sexual (be it even a kiss), you should never feel forced. This is not just now because you’re a teen, this is something that all of us go through and need to keep in mind even in our 20s, 30s and so on.

I’m so sorry that you feel that way in real life because some adults are absolutely disgusting. They are. Adults that prey on children are absolutely disgusting and horrifying and you should call them out, tell your parents or your teachers or the police. I’m not kidding here. I know it’s hard and you might feel like you’re going to be made fun of, or that they won’t believe you, or that they will side with the adult, or that will belittle you and tell you it’s not a big deal. If you tell someone you trust, they won’t do all those things. Go with your guts. Tell, even if someone only threw nasty words at you or catcalled you (and I really hope you never went through anything heavier than that). In those cases there won’t be much that you can do, but telling someone will help.

What I can tell from your message, is that you (subconsciously or not) equate sex with generally being nasty and perverted. This will probably be unnecessary, but I’ll say it anyway: sex is not inherently gross or disgusting or creepy. If you feel that it is, then it means you’re not ready to enter a sexual relationship, and that’s perfectly fine and normal. I won’t tell you that that’s only because of your age, because some people never (or very rarely) show any interest in sex (it’s called asexuality and it falls under the LGBT+ spectrum). Whether you do end up growing to want sex or not doesn’t matter here. 

What matters is that now you clearly don’t want to see sex and anything to do with it in your fandom experience and that’s fine. Tumblr offers you ways to make your experience better and show you only the content you want to see. Block any nsfw tag. Don’t follow blogs whose description clearly states that they post nsfw (like mine). Tumblr is a big and scary place if you just take everything it throws at you (be it ship hate, nsfw stuff, etc). The thing with it is that it can’t cater to everyone’s tastes, so you have to be active about blocking the stuff that YOU don’t want to see. Other 14-going-on-15 year olds might be okay seeing nsfw fanart and posts and that will be their Tumblr experience, but you should definitely take measures to protect yourself from what you don’t want to see. 

Now, the thing about Otayuri is that no matter how you twist it, it’s not illegal to ship it, even in a sexual way. You should definitely read this post about it, because the thing is, as much as we can project our feelings and real-world stuff into anime characters, they’re not real. 

I assure you that if Yuri on Ice was a flesh and bone show things would be different. I don’t really watch any current TV shows with teens in them so I can’t speak for what other fandoms do with their ship, whether they’re sexualized or not. I can only speak for this silly and amazing anime that’s been consuming my life for the past seven months or so.

Anime and cartoon characters are a safe way to explore things about real life. Whether it be sex or depression or anxiety or simply falling in love, we can all identify with an anime character and see our flaws, our fears and our history in them.

The thing you have to remember is that we (I’m speaking for the slightly older part of the fandom since I’m in my twenties) have been Yuri’s age. We’ve very likely had crushes on boys or girls that were a bit younger, our age or slightly older (like Otabek is). So I think for most of us, shipping Otayuri is a way to remember what it feels like to be a teen and be in love/have a huge crush. We will never be that age again, and maybe there’s things we regret not doing, crushes we wish we had confessed. By shipping Otayuri in an active way (meaning: drawing fanart or writing fanfiction) we can explore things we experienced as teens (or wish we had) and pour a little bit of ourselves in Yuri’s (or Otabek’s) character. 

Those things might involve anything from simple fluff or rough sex, because, accept it or not, some people at 15 or 16 were (are) having sex of all kinds. Sweet, loving, rough, vanilla, kinky, you-name-it sex. So not to explore that aspect in a healthy way (through fics or fanart) would be lying about what reality is, it would be denying that we ever thought about or had sex at that age.

Much like with blocking tumblr content, you can choose what kinds of fanfiction you read. Only read General and Teen and Up tagged things, read about fluff and about falling in love in a sweet innocent way. Read anything tagged “Ace!Yuri” (it means asexual, the thing I was telling you about before). 

But please understand this: when we sexualize Yuri, we’re mostly sexualizing our (often past) selves. Not other teens, not other real-life people. Yuri doesn’t exist in real life, and many of us see bits and pieces of ourselves in him. When we write about him we really write about ourselves, be it because we want to see how we (maybe a little sassier and bitchier version of us) would have confessed a crush to our best friend, or would have handled the aftermath of having just shoved our gloved fingers in said best friend’s mouth in front of thousands of people. Fanfiction is a study about versions of ourselves that never existed, but might as well have.

Another thing I need to make clear: Otabek is not an adult. I assure you that the morning of your 18th birthday you won’t feel like an adult. You’ll feel like the you from yesterday and it will be anticlimactic af, you’ll be like “That’s it?” and yeah, it will be it. Just because the law in some country or state says that 18 is the age of consent (which is set to 16 or 14 years old in many other countries) it doesn’t mean that you’re automatically an adult at that age. You can be 18 and have had sex since you were 14. You can be 18 and completely uninterested in sex. You can be 18 and have a 15 year old mental age, or you can be 16 and be mentally more mature than some 20 year olds.

What canon has shown us, is that Yuri and Otabek are much closer to each other’s mental age than the 2 years + a few months difference they share. I encourage you to find posts about why there’s no power imbalance between Yuri and Otabek, because they compete in the same sport and they have had similar experiences in life.

In conclusion, if you feel irked about nsfw fanart and fanfics and discussions when it comes to this particular ship, please don’t read it/watch it. But what I can assure you is that none of us are trying to sexualize you or your peers. When we sexualize pixels on a screen we don’t see those pixels as a flesh and bone version of a human, we only see an idealized character whose age we are or have been and whose personality and experiences we want to safely explore.

Also really important: when we write/draw NSFW, we don’t write/draw it for teens to read. I repeat: WE DON’T CREATE NSFW CONTENT FOR TEENS. We’re not your parents or guardians, we write NSFW for whoever feels like they can handle seeing nsfw content. If you’re a teen that goes on the nsfw tag and then complains about it (I’m not saying that’s what you did here, I’m speaking generally), it’s only your fault for going in a tag that you weren’t comfortable to begin with.

TL;DR: 

  • Speak up if you feel sexualized IRL in a way you don’t like;
  • Learn how to use tumblr safely, block tags, understand that tumblr doesn’t do those things for you. Make your fandom experience exactly the one you want to see;
  • Don’t trust adults who tell you this ship is somehow illegal: it’s not;
  • Understand what’s behind fiction and fanfiction as a way we have to explore real life things (often too personal to write about as ourselves, so we project those things in characters we like);
  • Understand that adulthood is not something that happens from one day to another;
  • Learn to discern what content is meant to be consumed by a teen and what content isn’t;
  • Be safe.
4

gif  poster  edits  ♡   [  1  /  ?  ]  →  until  dawn  ,  supermassive  games  2015  .

 before  we  begin  ,  there  are  a  few  things  i  need  to  make  sure  you  understand  .  you  see  ,  no  one  can  change  what  happened  last  year  .  the  past  is  beyond  our  control  .  you  have  to  accept  this  in  order  to  move  forward  .  but  there  is  freedom  in  this  revelation  .  everything  you  do  ,  every  decision  you  make  from  now  on  ,  will  open  doors  to  the  future  .  i  want  you  to  remember  this  .

ease

length: 1.6k

genre(s): angst+fluff

triggers/warnings: mentions of blood and very minor character injury

simon shows up to the flat with a black eye and a cut lip, refusing to talk about what happened, so a worried penelope asks baz to come over (or the one where simon’s insecure, and baz is terrible at comforting his dragon boyfriend)

a/n: @cherryonsimon is the greatest beta and y’all should go tell her nice things :D

for day three of @snowbaz-feda!!



Penelope

The door to the flat swings open and Simon barrels his way inside. I gasp when I see him: his shirt is torn with flecks of red (Is that blood?) splattered around the neckline; his hair looks dirty and matted, like he’s been rolling around on the ground; and there’s a definite limp in his step. After slamming the door shut, he winces and grabs his wrist, and that’s when I notice his eye.

“Fuck a nine-toed troll, Simon! What happened to you?”

He won’t look at me and the expression on his face is one I haven’t seen in a long time. It frightens me a bit, but it’s still just as important to me that Simon knows I’m not afraid of him, so I take a step forward. He recoils and pushes past me towards his room, slamming the door once inside, making me flinch.

The sound reverberates through the living room before plunging the flat into absolute silence. It’s horrible.

After taking a moment to collect myself, I walk towards his room, hesitating a beat before knocking. “Simon?” No answer. I try again, knocking louder this time, but he still won’t answer. I try turning the knob, but it’s locked. Chewing on my lip, I consider spelling it open, but that would be breaking unspoken roommate rules, so I do the only thing I can think of right now.

I ring Baz.

* * *
Baz

I’m sitting in an evening lecture when my mobile starts to vibrate. It’s on the desk and the noise makes a few of my fellow students turn around and stare. I sneer at them (old habits), and look to see who’s calling.

It’s Bunce.

It’s not that we aren’t close enough to call each other, it’s just that we never do. The fact that she has, and especially during a time she knows I’m at school, makes my blood run cold. I’m so distracted with worry that I forget to move the desk over, and when I go to stand it pins me to the chair. Cursing loudly–and drawing even more curious eyes–I slam the damned piece of wood out of the way, and stalk out of the hall.

I manage to answer on the last ring.

“Baz?” Bunce’s voice sounds strange through the speaker, like she’s trying not to cry, “can you come over? Something’s happened with Simon.”

I drop the phone and it shatters on the pavement.

* * *
Penelope

For the second time tonight, the door to the flat swings open. Only this time it’s Baz who practically falls through, righting himself at the last minute. He looks like he ran the entire distance between school and the flat. The screen of the mobile he’s clutching is shattered, something I don’t remember seeing before. Is that my fault?

“B–” I don’t even get a chance to say his full name when he marches towards me, our difference in height making itself known as he towers over me. (In reality it’s only several inches.) (It feels like miles.)

“Where is he?”

I point to Simon’s room and Baz nods. I wish I could tell him what happened, but I don’t exactly know myself. I just know I can’t fix this alone.

Baz

The smell of blood hit me as soon as I entered the flat and it only gets stronger the closer I get to the bedroom.

Snow’s door is locked, so I cast when one door closes. It works, and the one in front of me opens wide. I can’t see anything at first; Snow’s drawn the curtains shut and even turned out the light in the en suite, drowning the room in darkness. I use my mobile to guide me towards his bed and the red lump that I assume is my boyfriend.

“Snow?” I ask, biting my lip. Perhaps I should use his first name, given the situation, but I try and reserve that for when I really need it, like when we’re being soft. Or when I want him to know I’m afraid. “Snow?” I try again and the lump doesn’t move, but it does yelp when I poke it with the tip of my wand.

“Go away,” I hear him mumble, but I know he doesn’t mean it. (The door spell wouldn’t have worked if he hadn’t wanted to let me in.)

I square my shoulders. “No.” I need Snow to tell me what happened and I’ll stand here all night if I have to. This must occur to him, because he lifts his head.  

My breath catches when I see his black eye and bloody lip. I reach out to touch them, pulling my hand back at the last minute.

“What happened to you?”

He shrugs and I want to strangle him.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” I snap.

“I got in a fight on my way home.”

“No shit.”

“There were 3 or 4 guys; I don’t remember. They wanted my wallet, but I’d forgotten it at work and they weren’t very happy about that.”

I try to stop myself from picturing the scene in my head. Snow on the ground, surrounded by these men, being hurt by these men. Snow. Defenseless. I can’t process it.

Although he hasn’t held that title in a long time, Snow will always be the chosen one to me; seeing him so broken and defeated over something like this is overwhelming. He’s supposed to be strong, he’s supposed to be brave, he’s supposed to save the world. He’s supposed to be able to save himself.

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen Simon beaten and bloody, but it’s the worst time. It’s not that his injuries are severe (they really aren’t), it’s just that…

This wasn’t supposed to happen any more. We were supposed to disguise as regular Normals and live our happily ever after; nothing bad was supposed to touch us again.

Then he goes and gets himself mugged. It’s so horribly mundane, so insignificant next to every creature and task he’s taken on, yet this is the thing that breaks him. I’m furious on his behalf. I want to hurt the people who hurt him.

I swallow. “What happened next?”

“I tried–I tried to call–my sword…but–”

“It didn’t come.” I don’t even bother phrasing it as a question. I can’t believe this, “you were going to try fighting off a bunch of thugs with a sword? Are you daft?”

He looks miserable. “I was distracted by that long enough to give them a chance to jump me, and, well…” he rolls his hurt wrist and I catch it between my fingers, pulling my wand from my pocket with my other hand. He grits his teeth as I cast get well soon, listening for the crack that signifies it worked. I bring his now healed wrist to my lips and kiss it, feeling his pulse thumping under my lips.

Snow clenches his hand into a fist and I drop his arm, looking up at his face and hating what I see there. The healing spell had taken care of his eye and lip, but that lip is quivering now, and fat tears are beginning to rolls down his cheeks. He squeezes his eyes shut and starts gulping air, his arms wrapped around his knees and head bowed.

I want to reach out and touch him; make this better, make this go away, make him stop. I want to make him stop. He’s almost sobbing now and I don’t know what to do. I have to stop this.

“Shut up, Simon! Just shut up!”

His head snaps up and he looks at me as if I’ve slapped him. I almost feel like I have.

“What the fuck, Baz?” his breath catches on my name and I feel my heart sink just that much more.

I didn’t mean it. I want to apologize, but the words won’t come; they’re stuck in my throat and I clench my fists as I try to force them out. He’s still staring at me, his face etched in an angry frown, and I give up on speaking.

He watches me warily as I sit down on the bed and I flinch. The scent of blood is stronger now, and I can feel my fangs threatening to pop. I curse the fact that I haven’t fed recently and try to will them to stay put. The last thing I need to do is make the situation worse.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper and he blinks at me. “I’m sorry,” I repeat and his face crumples as he falls forward. I let him bury his face into my chest, let him clutch at my shirt, let his tears soak the fabric. I let him cry until he can’t anymore. His breathing is even and quiet now; and I’m relieved.

Simon

Baz pulls me close, pressing a kiss against my temple: once, twice, three times. I can tell he thinks I’m asleep, because he’s murmuring things he’d never let me hear otherwise. He’s calling me Simon and telling me he loves me and how scared he was and how brave and stupid I am.

He starts scratching lightly at the spot between my wings, the one he knows I love, and I’m melting into the mattress.

He somehow manages to press himself even closer, his breathing tickling my ear as he whispers, “you’re so bloody stupid, you know that? I don’t need a Chosen One; I don’t need a fairy tale; I certainly don’t need some self-sacrificing superhuman with a hero complex. I just want you, Simon Snow.” He stops to kiss my shoulder.

“I just want you.” It’s a reassurance and a promise. And I believe it.

I want you too, I think back at him, I want you too.

Clueless

Summary: Ok so can you do a tw where reader has dealt with small kids before and then when the pack has no idea how to deal with the little kid they found but needed to keep and protect, they call upon the reader? Idk if it makes sense or not. And maybe make it derek x reader and its momma hale?

Characters: Reader, Derek Hale

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Word Count: 839

Request: Anon

Keep reading

4

I really do love the windows from the Vampire pack, but really, those windows are only 2/3s of the short wall tall, which makes them look so tiny on the medium and high wall heights. So of course I decided to make additional sizes. This is the tallest version (full small wall height) and I might do a size in between. Annoying thing is I need to make new textures because of the way the window is mapped, so its not a quick process. 

3

 before  we  begin  ,  there  are  a  few  things  i  need  to  make  sure  you  understand  .  you  see  ,  no  one  can  change  what  happened  last  year  .  the  past  is  beyond  our  control  .  you  have  to  accept  this  in  order  to  move  forward  .  but  there  is  freedom  in  this  revelation  .  everything  you  do  ,  every  decision  you  make  from  now  on  ,  will  open  doors  to  the  future  .  i  want  you  to  remember  this  .

choose me II

LADIES AND GENTS I PRESENT TO YOU THIS WONDERFUL PIECE OF WORK @teen-mendes AND i WROTE TOGETHER

PART TWO TO THE BLURB “CHOOSE ME” I HOPE YALL ENJOY BECAUSE WE HAD AN EXTRAVAGANZA

FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS LOVED! :)

-

while putting olivia to bed, she told you that “daddy makes her sad” and asked you to stay with her so you didn’t need to sleep in the same bed as shawn. you agreed, getting under the covers with her and pulling her close to you.

you hated that she felt this way about her dad.

the next morning you woke up at your usual time 7:00am, while olivia was still fast asleep sprawled across the entire bed. you chuckled, slowly exiting the bed, careful not to wake your sleeping daughter.

you tiptoed your way into yours and shawn’s shared bathroom, noticing he wasn’t in the bed like usual. you quickly showered and did your hair and makeup for work in record time. all you had to do was throw on some clothes and you were good for work.

by the time you finished and were making your way down the stairs to make breakfast for olivia, you heard quiet humming coming from the kitchen followed by the smell of pancakes. olivia’s favourite.

“shawn?” you asked, stepping into the kitchen, revealing your husband already awake and making breakfast. you noticed the table was set too, including olivia’s favourite plate to eat with in her spot.

“hey,” he smiled, placing the stack of pancakes in the middle of the table. you smiled, taking in the sight before you. shawn had made the perfect breakfast for olivia, and even added some of your favourite berries that were almost impossible to find at this time of year.

“this is sweet,” you commented. “but what’s the occasion? more studio time, a new tour perhaps?”

you raised your eyebrow, knowing he wouldn’t do this if there wasn’t something up. he never did.

“nope, just thought i would make breakfast for a change. good way to start the week off.”

he returned back to his spot at the stove, resuming is pancake making. you were surprised he hasn’t burned any yet, the boy can’t cook to save his life.

“you took the week off?”

he nodded, “i needed it, we needed it.”

shawn flipped another pancake, except this time he was looking at you which caused the pancake to miss the pan and fall flat on the floor.

“whoops,” he sighed, causing you to let out a small giggle. you were still extremely upset with him, and he had to know that doing this wasn’t going to let him off the hook just like that.

“mummy,” your daughter’s tired voice called you as she walked down the stairs.

“hi sweetie, did you sleep well?” you asked, walking towards her and picking her up. she was still tired, you weren’t sure why she woke
up so early.

she nodded, letting her head fall on your shoulder.

“breakfast is ready, daddy made you pancakes.” you said, setting her down in her chair at the table noticing shawn was already sitting down.

“no! i don’t want to sit with daddy. he’s mean.” she pouted, trying to get out of her seat. you grabbed both of her arms, keeping her down.

“that’s not nice olivia, daddy made you breakfast. look, it’s your favourite.”

you showed her the plate of chocolate chip pancakes, but nothing seemed to convince her. not even the whipped cream you bribed her with.

shawn sat in silence and watched his daughter with sad eyes, even though you were upset with him you couldn’t help but feel terrible. as much as he was away, he loved her with all his heart.

you finally managed to get her to eat some breakfast, after she said she needed to sit only next to you and not between shawn and you. she wouldn’t look at him, but she talked to you. she told you about her dreams last night, and what she was doing at school later.

you took olivia to her room and helped her get ready for school. as you two walked outside to shawn’s black jeep, olivia frowned and tried to pull you in the direction of your car indicating that she didn’t want to get in a car with shawn and this broke your heart.

“sweetheart let’s go, you’re going to be late for school.” you tried and she eventually agreed as she walked to shawn’s car with you, shawn put in a car seat as he insisted that he’d put olivia in the seat.

he reached his hands, ready to take her when she ran and hid behind your legs, shawn tried to convince her but olivia was stubborn and refused to listen, shawn eventually gave up and smiled at you cheekily as you put olivia in the car seat and got into the passenger seat not long after.

the drive from your home to olivia’s preschool was mostly silent except for olivia’s occasional comments like “look there’s a puppy!” and “mumma look, baby ducks!” she made sure to let you know she was talking to you and only you.

once you got to the preschool, you helped olivia out of her car seat and grabbed her hand, guiding her into the small school.

“bye sweetie,” shawn tried as you walked away with olivia. you nudged her to answer but she refused.

once you arrived back in the car, shawn offered to drive you to work. without olivia in the car, things were painfully awkward.

shawn reached out to touch your hand and tried to intertwine them but you pulled your hand away showing that you were still upset and he sighed.

“c'mon y/n, please talk to me!” you stayed silent and looked out the window.

“y/n i know i messed up big time but you have to believe me when i say i’m sorry! liv already hates me, i don’t need you to hate me too.” you could hear the desperation in his voice as he reached to touch your hand again

“please i’ll do anything y/n, please just give me another chance, let me prove to you that i can be the husband- the father, you always wanted me to be.”

“shawn, i can’t say what you can do you have to figure that out on your own, actions speak louder than words you’re gonna have to find a way to prove that you’ve changed.” you said as he parked the car near your work

“i promise, i’ll make it up to you two y/n. i won’t let you down this time.” he said as he pressed his lips to your hand and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks as you smiled politely leaving the car.

SHAWN POV

i watched as y/n exited the car and walked into her office building without even looking back.

it broke me inside to know that my daughter practically hates me, and my wife is on the verge of divorcing me. i hate that i’ve let my job overpower my family life, and i did nothing to stop it before it got to this point.

as soon as i arrived back home, i cleaned the mess i made from making breakfast and started thinking about how i was going to fix things.

i know i need to make this up to my girls somehow, but i’m not sure there was anything i could do anymore.

y/n loved to come home to a clean house so i decided to clean the entire house so she wouldn’t have to clean for at least a week or so.

as i was tidying up the living room, i saw y/n’s wedding band and engagement ring laying on the table where she left it last night. i picked it up and carefully put them in my pocket, hopefully saving them for good use later.

cleaning the house took me longer than expected, i wasn’t sure how y/n did it every week.

my phone lit up with y/n’s contact name.

from: y/n <3
hey can’t pick up olivia tonight, i have to stay late. can you please do it?

to: y/n <3
yeah of course baby, that’s if she’ll get in the car with me.

deciding it was time to go, i got in my car again and drove to olivia’s school.

i arrived right on time and saw the kids outside, some waiting for their parents and some leaving with them already.

i quickly spotted olivia in the corner of the play ground with a boys
other girls around her who looked much older than her. i walked closer, signalling to her teacher that i was picking her up, getting a closer look at what they were doing.

she looked on the verge of tears, her hair was a mess already and i noticed one of the little boys had her favourite stuffed bear in his hands. once she caught a glimpse of me, the tears started falling and she ran into my arms.

i comforted her as she cried into my chest.

“daddy,” she cried. “he took my bear and won’t give it back!”

i noticed the young boys still standing a short distance away, olivia’s favourite toy was all dirty and wet from a puddle they must’ve dropped it in.

“hey, give that back to me and don’t ever talk to her again.” i said, holding out one of my hands for the bear. the boy handed it to me and ran away with the rest of his little friends.

i picked olivia up, taking her to the car.

“daddy’s sorry baby, daddy’s sorry.” i whispered, repeating it until she was strapped in her car seat and had stopped crying.

i set the wet bear in the seat next to me, driving home as fast as possible.

“do you want some ice cream?” i asked once we arrived home. i threw her bear in the dryer for a few minutes first, praying there was no real damage done to the toy and it was only a bit of water.

“yes please.” she nodded, taking a seat at the table while i made her a bowl of ice cream.

i handed her the small bowl and sat down in the chair next to her.

“i miss you daddy.” she broke the silence. “how come you’re never here?”

“i’m sorry liv, i promise you i’ll be here a lot more from now on. okay?”

she nodded, handing me the empty bowl of ice cream to take to the sink while she ran off to play.

“daddy can you sing me a song?” she asked from the living room where i kept one guitar, the rest were in the music room.

“sure, what song?”

i took the guitar off the stand and started playing whatever song she requested. sometimes she would try and sing along, followed by an adorable giggle when she would mess up.

i truly missed spending this time alone with my daughter, i’ll forever feel guilty that i made my job first priority. never again. now all i have to do is make it up to y/n.

Y/N POV

after you payed the taxi you took out the keys to your house snd silently opened it to be met with the sounds of giggles and laughter. you took off your heels and tip toed to the living room to see shawn on olivia’s lap as he strummed a few tunes as she sang off key.
after a few minutes of standing in the hallway looking at them in awe shawn noticed your presence and smiled at you and you smiled back

“mummy!!” olivia screamed as she hopped off shawn’s lap and ran into your arms

“hi sweetheart.” you chuckled, olivia pulled you and sat you down on the couch next to shawn as you laughed and watched them sing together, this was your family. and you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“mummy i’m tired.” olivia yawned

“i got her.” shawn said taking her hands and leading her to her room as you stood up and walked to your room ready to take a shower when you saw your room setup.

a bouquet of red roses on your bed and flower petals that lead to the bathroom and the bathtub was full and had your favorite bath bombs in and candles were lit all over the bathroom.

“do you like it?” you tured to meet those hazel eyes

“i love it, thank you for everything shawn.”

“good because i wanna ask you something,” he said taking your hand and getting down on one knee revealing a familiar velvet box

“i messed up y/n, i messed up bigtime and my mistake made me realize how important you all are to me and how you and olivia should’ve always been my first priority, how you both should’ve been my number one. so y/n mendes, do you forgive me?” you nodded trying to hold back your tears as he slipped the ring back where it belonged as he hugged you

“actions do speak louder than words mendes, you proved that.” you chuckled and he kissed your forehead

“so what now?” you asked

“i have a few ideas.” he said kissing your neck

lets just say that night was a night you both wont forget, because this was the night you had your family back together.

Cold Hearted-Jon Snow x Reader One Shot

Summary: Requested by annonymus: ‘hey could you write an imagine with Jon Snow where the reader gets like cold and badass after the death of Jon and when he comes back idk you decide. Btw loveeeee your blog ❤ keep up with the good work 💫

Characters: Jon Snow x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)= Your name
(Y/L/N)= Your last name

Warnings:

None


(A/N: Flashbacks will be within the apostrophes ’)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

‘I scrunched up the parchment, my hands starting to shake. This couldn’t be happening, he couldn’t be dead. I thanked the man who brought me the message, who quickly scurried away. As soon as he was gone, I collapsed into my chair by the fireplace, bursting into tears. Looking at the message again, I read it out loud, still trying to process it all.

“Lady (Y/N) (Y/L/N), my deepest apologies. I too am in deep sorrow, our Lord Commander Jon Snow has passed away. My deepest condolences. Ser Davos Seaworth.”

I angrily threw the parchment into the fire, crying out in anger. He had left me here all by myself, venturing off to the Wall and now he was dead. It didn’t matter how he died. For some reason, I was furious with him. Now he was really gone, I would never see him again. All of this time spent waiting and now what? What was I supposed to do with my life?’

I stood beside Lady Sansa, looking down into the courtyard. Sansa had never been the same since arriving here, even before she married Ramsay. Although Brienne used to Sansa’s main bodyguard, I too knew how to weild a weapon, now her new protector as well as a handmaid. After Jon had died out on the Wall, I too turned cold and bitter to those around me. The only way it seemed that anyone would leave me alone was if I learnt how to fight, become intimidating. As soon as everyone else heard word of my dead lover, all I received were sympathetic looks. It drove me mad but now they all left me alone, and that’s how I wanted it to be.

However, I tried to forget about Jon. He was dead, I couldn’t let that bring me down. It was making me soft. But there was a huge problem; wherever I went, I would always see him. I knew they were hallucinations, my mind going mad with grief. At first I thought it was sort of wonderful to see him, though it soon became a curse. No matter how hard I tried, he wouldn’t disappear. There were many endless nights where I would drink myself to sleep to try and make him go away.

“(Y/N).” Sansa grabbed my attention.“I must tell you something of great importance.”

I said nothing, waiting for her to continue.

“I am to leave this place soon. However, I must go alone. I need you to stay here, ensure that no one else will be harmed by Ramsay.”

“M'lady, you cannot be serious. What if you can’t get away?”

“I will.” she sighed.“I know that it has been very hard for you recently, but I must do this to get my home back.”

“I do not want you getting hurt. Please, let me come with you, I can protect you!”

She grabbed my shoulders, looking at me head on.“ I need you here. Promise me you’ll look after our people.”

Hesitantly, I agreed.“I promise.”

“The North remembers.”



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


It had been so long since Sansa had left. Theon Greyjoy had helped her escape, causing Ramsay to go even more mad, if that was possible. As soon as he found out that she was gone, I had been brought in for questioning. Of course he had tortured me. He as a mad man, there was no limit to what he could do. Long cuts and bruises covered my body now, for some reason he had not killed me, not even close. It wouldn’t have mattered to me, but I made a promise to Sansa.

It was obvious that Ramsay was keeping a close eye on me. After getting nothing out of me, he needed to make sure I wasn’t sneaking behind his back. There wasn’t anything to hide, no one has contacted me in so long.

It had been quiet for quite some time in Winterfell. The people living there were scared for their lives. I acted upon my duty, looking after those who needed help. There were families who would go without money or food, I would try to help them without getting on the wrong side of the Boltons. I would go out hunting late at night or during dawn, providing for those in need. That soon had to stop when Ramsay was organising an army, for what I didn’t know. Who was attacking us?

That wasn’t important. The one thing I needed to do was make sure everyone within the walls was ok. Soldiers were everywhere, either trying to recruit more men or escape the battle themselves. Distant cried of the fighting could be heard within in the walls. Everyone was frightened.

“M'lady! M'lady!” I heard a woman scream.

With weapons in hand, I had been sneaking through the houses of the people living here, checking that no one was harmed.

I rushed to her. She was stood by her front door, frantically waving to grab my attention.“It’s ok, it’s ok. Try to calm down, what’s wrong?”

She took a deep breath.“My daughter is a scullery maid in the castle. She was supposed to be home this morning but has not yet returned. I am worried for her, I do not know what to do!” She was crying.

“I’ll go look for her. I am a handmaiden, they know I work there so they won’t question it. Just stay in your home and I’ll bring her back to you.”

I quickened my pace towards the entrance for all the servants, now hiding my weapons beneath my cloak. The servants had to be hiding, it was silent throughout the castle. Trying to remain as silent as possible, I looked in all rooms which servants had access to, seeing if any were hiding. As I went to open one, it was locked and I knew they were in there. Knocking quietly, I called out to them.

“It’s just me, it’s (Y/N)!”

They knew who I was, I could hear the locks being undone and the door opened. There were many people crammed in here, it was only a small room for some of the cleaning supplies. They dragged me in, bolting the door shut again.

“How long have you all been here?” I asked.

The girl who I was looking for stepped forward.“Ever since dawn broke, when they left for the battle.”

“Your mother is worried for you. I told her I would come looking for you.” she looked guilty though it was not her fault.“And what battle? Who are we fighting?”

A man spoke from the back.“The North.”

The North? The North was finally fighting back! Sansa…she must have had something to do with this. A small smile appeared on my face. What if we won? Would we finally be able to live in peace? Could we really defeat the Boltons?

We ended up staying there for hours. I was going to go out and see what was happening until we heard huge roars that didn’t seem human. Everyone crammed in there was either praying, crying, or holding onto one another. I stood in front of the door, ready for whatever was coming our way.

I groaned.“I’ve had enough of this. I’m going out there to see what is happening.”

The others retaliated, not wanting me to risk their hiding spot. I unsheathed my sword, making them stand back; it was an idle threat, I would never harm them. Walking out into the corridor, I checked my surroundings, everything was clear. Sneaking around the corner, I could hear yells of joy but didn’t know which side had won.

“(Y/N)?” I heard my name be said by a very familiar voice.

I sighed. Why was he here? Why were my hallucinations coming back now? I carried on walking, not wanting to be distracted by my mind tricks.

“(Y/N)! Wait!” His voice was so real.

Stopping in my tracks, I turned around to see him. There he was again, my Jon Snow. However, he didn’t look like he usually did in my dreams. Instead of the fresh faced boy who left Winterfell, he looked more like a man, covered in mud and blood from battle.

“Leave me alone. I am tired of you plaguing my mind. You died a long time ago. I can no longer live like this!” I yelled at him, hoping that would make him disappear.

Jon walked closer to me.“I don’t know what you’re talking about. (Y/N), I’m back. I’ve defeated the Boltons.”

Why did he look so different? How could I possibly imagine what he would look like? I stared at him for a little longer before it clicked.

“Jon? Is it actually you?” I whispered, reaching out to touch his face.

He grabbed my hand, smiling.“It is. I’ve come back for you.”

For the first time in a while I laughed, crying with happiness as I threw my arms around him. He spun us around, placing kisses on my neck before setting me down and kissing my lips.

As we pulled apart, I whispered out.“Don’t you ever leave me again.”

secretlybasictrash  asked:

So I've finally finished my first draft of my story!! This is my first time ever completing a first draft, so now that I'm done, I have no idea how to tackle it and begin editing. There are lots of things I need to change, like making the characterization consistent, brushing up on the flow of the story, adding in a few plot points, etc. There's just so much to do! Do you have any advice for where to start?

First, I always tell myself: One step at a time.

Don’t worry about adding plot points, or changing characters, or checking the flow, or anything. Don’t worry at all. You’ll only get anxious trying to “fix” every little detail. So, for now, celebrate. You’ve completed a draft. You are awesome!

I advise you to give yourself a reward.

I also advise you not to start editing right away. Take a week off. Start thinking about your next book. Maybe, outline your next book. For just a while, forget your completed draft. I’ve heard of authors that let their drafts in waiting for months. But a week is good enough. Why is this important? Because you move away from the story. You forget about details. You give yourself time switch from creative mode to critique mode. 

So, your week is gone and you are ready to edit.

But, remember, one step at a time.

First read: Read like a reader, not an author. Read all the way to the end without risking out or adding a word. Read like it’s someone else’s novel, not yours. And, when you get to the end, write a review. Just a paragraph or two giving your honest opinion on highlights and downfalls of the book. Be 100% honest. Be ruthless. Now, you have a general view over the story, what is missing, what is awesome. Make a list of every improvement you’d like to make.

Second read: Go over the story, applying the improvements, and also correcting mistakes along the way.

Third read: Read out loud. Reading out loud helps you detect grammar mistakes and strange sentences. :D   

Fourth read: Read one last time, not so focused on correcting mistakes, but on logic… pay attention for continuity errors, timeline errors, of if there’s any Deus ex machina around… this is just one last read to wrap things up.    

Fifth read: This is optional, but I love to read random pages of my books, just to force the brain not to follow the same track it’s already used to. Sometimes I find mistakes where I’d usually just brush over.

Then, publish it. It can’t be perfect, so don’t get crazy over every little phrase or word of choice. 

Publish. Open a new document. And start a new book. :D