things-changed-me

...a few thoughts...

Hello my lovelies, 

I thought long and hard about writing this, if I even should or if I should just go on blogging sporadically like nothing happened. I mean, I don’t even have that many followers anyway, but those I have perhaps deserve a short heads-up. (Even if some probably don’t care.)

The thing is, ever since season four of Sherlock aired, a lot of us in this fandom have felt betrayed/disappointed/just generally unhappy, some hated the season, some loved it, some, like me, thought it just didn’t feel like the Sherlock they had come to know and love over the years. I don’t really want to go into what I thought/still think of it, because a lot of people have been hurt one way or another and I was never one for angry rants or long monologues on things from the show. In the end, to each their own, everyone should enjoy (or not enjoy) what they want. I have been a fan of many things in my life, but nothing quite as unique as Sherlock. I have made some amazing experiences over those six years, met some incredible people and obviously found a home here at tumblr. Despite a lot of ups and downs in the fandom (and my life), there were always a few constants I could hold on to. But now, I feel like I’ve moved on, as a lot of people have. I will probably forever be a Sherlock fan, I was a Holmes fan way before the BBC series, and Johnlock will forever have a special place in my heart. It has given me so much over the years, but now it doesn’t bring me the same joy it once did. And that’s sad, but also part of life, I think. 

What I’m trying to say is that I will keep this blog running, but not regularly and definitely not to the same extent I used to. I’m guessing a lot of you will unfollow and I can totally understand. There’ve been some major reshuffles, people leaving the fandom or changing to another, etc. But I will check in from time to time, because I still love Benedict and Martin and also the show it once was. 

Now, tumblr is obviously not gonna get rid of me that easily, and I’ve somehow found my home in a new fandom. I don’t know how long that’s gonna be, but it has taken me by storm, reawakened my creativity and I’ve even gone back to writing. It’s something completely different from Sherlock though, so I’m guessing no one will be actually interested. For those who are, or those who want to stay in touch more regularly, my new tumblr (where I’m gonna be most of the time, if not all) is @light-in-the-wood​. Shadowhunters is the show, if anyone is wondering. I read and fell in love with the books a long time ago and now this show has wiggled its way inside my heart. That’s fandom life for you. ;) I’ve followed everyone I was following before with that blog as well, so I always know what you guys are up to. Shout out to @fairestpanda​, @rominatrix​, @londongypsy​, @rox712​, @junejuly15​, @sherlockisthebest​, @aconsultingdetective​, @schnattergans​, you guys are great. To any of my followers, I would love to see you over at my other blog, but I guess this is a big step away from my other fandom, so don’t worry about it. 

Lastly, these past six years (five on tumblr) have been an epic journey, I learned so much and wouldn’t miss it for the world. Thanks to everyone who has been so nice over the years, and I hope you all continue being the people you are and have a great future ahead of you. Again, I won’t be gone completely, but it’s time for a new chapter. See you on the flip side. Come say hi at @light-in-the-wood​. 

 Much love, Kia xxx

miller-mayfair  asked:

❖ + What's one non-physical thing you'd change about me if you had the chance?

The damaged done to you that makes it almost surreal to you that you can belong somewhere and be truly loved without having to have done something to “earn” it.

Realest Fucking Panic! Lyrics Ever
  • i need a little sympathy to sore my insecurities
  • our consciences are always so much heavier than our egos, i set my expectations high so nothing ever comes out right
  • should’ve known right from the start you can’t predict the end
  • and being blue is better than being over it
  • you could tell me secrets that i’ll probably repeat; i’m not trying to hurt you, i just love to speak
  • fought resistance nearly my entire life
  • it’s better to burn than to fade away, it’s better to leave than be replaced
  • girls love girls and boys and love is not a choice
  • i want to complicate you, don’t let me do this to myself
  • in the sickness of you, i’m just a white blood cell fighting like hell for you
  • all of trade mistakes
  • you are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card
  • all of the calendar lmao that whole song’s a masterpiece
  • how does a heart love if no one has noticed its presence and where does it go
  • wake up to despise a world i once loved
  • if i wake in the morning i only need two more miracles to be a saint, everything i promised everyone i’d be well i just ain’t
  • ALL OF NORTHERN DOWNPOUR JESUS FUCKING CHRIST HOLY FUCK FLYING SHIT
  • can’t take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid; sit back, relax, sit back, relapse again
  • talk to the mirror, oh choke back tears
  • im cutting my mind off, feels like my heart is going to burst
  • things have changed for me and that’s ok
Driving Home

DeanCas Coda to 12x12

Dean’s sweaty hands grip and re-grip the steering wheel as he surreptitiously looks over to the passengers side. It’s weird to be driving Cas’s truck, but he insisted under the pretense of letting the angel rest—”Like hell’m gonna let you drive home, Cas. Get in the car.”

Castiel stares listlessly out the window. Dean swallows thickly.

“…So, are we gonna talk about it?”

No answer.

“Cas?”

Dean’s heart is beating a mile a minute and he’s convinced he’s gonna be sick. When he side-eyes his angel (and he can say that now, because apparently the idiot loves him), Cas is gripping the edge of his trench so hard his knuckles are white. 

“Castiel,” Dean says. His full name feels foreign on his tongue. “You–You can’t just leave me hangin’ here, man.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Dean.”

Dean’s heart sinks.

Keep reading

Happy 17 Million Subs, Markiplier!

Happy 17 Million Subs, Markiplier!

@markiplier

Sorry for the late post. I wanted to post it when we hit 17 mil, but you know I’m shy about my art and also I slaved over this for two days please be gentle

This was a pretty fun one to work on. My health is the same as always, so straight lines are absolutely still not a thing I can do, but I’ve been trying to embrace the messier aesthetic and I’m really quite pleased with how these turned out. 

I know it still leaves a lot to be desired, but comparing it to similar things I have done in the past, like the 7 Million Sub art (which also has a dog) or the unholy mess that was the 8 Million Sub art (which I’m trying to give myself a pass on since I was at the hospital that day, but c’mon guys, that was bad) I am definitely improving. 

If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll notice that my art and myself dropped right off the face of the planet for a year, almost two. I had no confidence in myself or in my work, and I let that take me away from what I love to do. It was Mark who brought me back into it. As I mentioned in this post, a lot of things changed for me after I watched the video where Mark talks about how he is excited for failure, because it helps him to grow. Directly after that, simply because one of my roommates put it in the queue on the Chromecast, I watched Mark’s Draw My Life. Although our circumstances are very different, I saw myself in him. I saw myself in the lost person who switched college majors all the time and didn’t know what he wanted. As weird as it sounds, that gave me some hope, which is something I desperately needed. If he can pull himself out, why can’t I?

So here’s the truth: I am in school for advertising, but what I really want is to be a writer. It’s my dream, and my passion is art. I quit both for a very long time, because I couldn’t accept the fact that my illnesses are chronic. I couldn’t accept that I will never “get better”, and that made me stop trying, because why live a broken life, anyway? But just because I’m fractured doesn’t mean I have no value. My brain thinks some terribly sad things, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t write beautiful ones. My hands may be unable to draw straight lines, but that doesn’t mean they can’t draw pretty ones. 

So thanks for helping me learn that, Mark. I know you’ll never see this, of course. I’m not delusional. But I’d much rather have a thank-you unheard than a thank-you unsaid, y’know?

So thank you. 

Because of you, I’m trying again.

~*~

As always, you can find these pieces of art on my Redbubble here. (x) (x) (x)

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my ramble. I know it’s irrelevant to you guys, but it helps knowing that I might not just be shouting into the void.

I just woke up from the craziest dream. A friend and I were in Kohl’s trying on shirts and this girl our age came out of the fitting room in a pretty dress, and I told her she looked great. The girl looked surprised but pleased, and we started talking. The girl was like, “Sometimes I come into places like this with lots of mirrors so I don’t forget how I awesome I look." 

So my friend, the girl, and I walk through the store together, talking about random things, looking at jewelry (the girl found a pair of Vera Wang earrings and wistfully commented that they looked like dying stars and that her brother would love them) and socks. 

Meanwhile, we start to notice people around us are glued to their phones. One lady has her hand over her mouth in horror, tears streaming down her face. Kohl’s seems an awfully lot more empty than it had been. The girl brightly suggests we look in homewares. 

We go to the back of the store and start smelling all the Yankee Candles, and the girl is like, "People can be so creative. Vanilla lime? Genius! I’m going to miss this.” My friend asks if she’s going on a trip and the girl is nonchalant, like, “Things will be changing for me real soon and I’m not going to be able to enjoy things like candles anymore.” My friend wishes her all the best with whatever and I say we’ll buy her the candle so she has something to remember us by, and the girl is all, “You both are very kind. I won’t forget that, I promise." 

So we go to check out, but no one’s there. So we wait and wait, and then the girl shrugs, takes the candle and the Vera Wang earrings, and goes to leave. My friend and I are mortified, crying that she has to pay for them, and the girl is like, "I doubt they’ll mind,” as she leaves. Then my friend notices the store is completely empty and takes out her phone, which is blinking with dozens of missed calls, texts, and alerts. 

She opens one of the alerts and it takes her to a breaking news video. All over the world, there is chaos. Horrifying things are devouring people and destroying cities. A giant cube of sand with teeth and weird proboscises on every side is sucking up people in Rio, and a slow-moving slender titan made of clouds is walking through San Fransisco and leaving nothing in its wake. Off the coast of Japan, something is rising from the ocean but the video cuts out. 

Terrified, we run out of Kohl’s and find the girl standing at the curb. She’s staring at the sky over Route 1 as a giant, shifting mass of black mist descends. The girl turns to us, smiles, and says, “That’s my brother. Thank you for a lovely day of shopping. I’ll never forget it." 

Then the skin of her face and neck begins to crack and flake away, revealing fault lines of indescribable things underneath. My friend starts to weep. I manage to get out through chattering teeth that I hope her brother likes the earrings, and the girl–barely human now–smiles with the remnants of a million devoured suns and says, "You know, if everyone had been as nice as you two, we wouldn’t have come to this." 

And then she squared herself exponentially and swallowed everything up. 

It was awful.

The reason I am glad to be a young person in this age...

The growing diversity in media, the existence of truly remarkable fanwork and these glorious things called podcasts. We live in a time in which the sexual spectrum and gender identification of individuals slowly but surely make their way into the media. If it weren’t for BBC Sherlock Fanfiction I would never have delved as deeply into the LGBTQ community. Wonderful podcasts like The Bright Sessions, WTNV, Alice isn’t Dead and many more show the everyday lives of people all over the spectrum and give insight into their normalcy. It’s them and Youtube channels like Thomas Sanders’, actively including their (for now) extraordinary friends and letting them explain their orientation that it will become normal one day. I hope I live long enough to see that day. And maybe I will figure myself out on the way.

Thank you to everybody who dares to do something different, to try and include the change in our society.