Twisting in his grasp, Rose cranes her neck to look at him, finally, and there he is, all furrowed brow and tight mouth and eyes glittering with anger, and god, if she wasn’t so irritated with him right now, she just might kiss him.
“That’s what you were going to do, isn’t it?” she asks instead.
Eyes widening, the Doctor only has a moment to let his mouth drop open in surprise before another gentleman steps in—time to change dance partners. Rose slips into position with the newcomer without so much as a blink or even a glance in the Doctor’s direction, never faltering in her rhythm; a quick peek at the Doctor moments later tells her that he has allowed himself to be swept up in the tide of dancers, sidling up to his new partner across the room.
Rose turns away, swirling in her partner’s arms, but she can feel the eyes of the Doctor boring into her. She shivers despite the summer heat.
“That’s beside the point,” he whispers when they meet again, touching palm-to-palm first with one hand, then the other. “I’m a Time Lord.”
“Really? First I’ve heard of it,” Rose replies drily.
“I’ve been doing this for a long time, Rose. A very long time. I understand the risks.”
Rose rolls her eyes. “And stupid apes don’t.”
At least the Doctor has the decency to flinch at those words. “That isn’t what I meant.”
“Of course it is,” Rose sighs, and they both step back, granting a berth for other dancers to flit gracefully between them. “After all,” Rose continues when they reconnect, hands clasped, “I’m hardly one of the most accomplished women who ever lived, am I?”
“Someone said this:
“Even if you have no memories of being loved, for as long as you have memories of loving someone, you can continue to live.”
…But how is someone who has never been loved be capable of loving someone else?
A child who wasn’t able to receive the minimal love they required at the time they needed it the most will continue to gaze at the illusion of affection and never know how to love until the day they die.
Well, how about me? Can I continue to live?”
Furuta grew up without love, surrounded by the products of Tsuneyoshi’s fucked up harem. The only person who seems to have shown any affection at all for him, as seen in the flashback in this chapter, is Rize. Rize who cared if he died when she ate him. Rize who played with him. Rize, whose fate he was fully aware of. Who he saved, because at some point, or maybe deep down still, he understood that that fate is wrong. She was the only thing he had, and he let her go, for her sake.
In this explanation to Kaneki, he mentions explicitly that as a child, he had these childish ideas of love and marriage in the future for them. Things he gave up for her safety from the men of the main Washuu house.
Even when he’s being crude and creepy, talking about Rize having all of those children for him, he references 101 Dalmatians. A Disney movie. And one with some of the healthiest romances, both between the dogs and the humans.
Even now, he’s looking at a Disney movie where two dogs snuggle each other. Where these two dogs have 15 puppies who they risk their lives to save. And who adopt 84 other puppies who would otherwise be dead. When you think about him as someone who grew up surrounded by who knows how many half-siblings, in the Garden like he did - this is basically him saying he wants a Disney Romance.
Which is not to say that the way he’s speaking isn’t terrible. That the tropes he’s using aren’t horrible and misogynistic. They are. Furuta, as he always has, is falling back on farce and drama, on systems of power that he himself as already explicitly told you he condemns. Furuta switches between honest and lying, between truth and exaggeration, between real emotion and fake dramatic flare over and over.
He speaks in this weird mix between a cynical jaded, crude adult, and a desperate, sad, idealistic, stubborn child. Like with his big speech to Eto about V in 66, I think this chapter he is mixing truth and fiction. Sometimes strategically, sometimes just because.
@linkspooky pointed out to me that it almost seems that the more honest he’s being, the less of his face is shown. Times when he’s really approaching sincerity and seriousness, he’s shown from the side.
Where as most of the time, he’s hidden under his flare and his masks and his drama.
Furuta, for all his fake emotion, is clearly uncomfortable with the real thing. Uncomfortable when people make him feel things and uncomfortable expressing emotion. Uncomfortable and unskilled and really parsing it.
Instead, he falls back on theatre and performance and lies.
When he says he couldn’t bare the thought of her having a kid after being free for so long… was he talking (just) about jealousy, or was he talking about the fact that the CCG, and thus V, was gaining on her - had almost captured her in the 6th ward and gotten Shachi in the struggle, and was well on their way to tracking her down again? Was he talking about not wanting her to be free, or about after all that time, still not being able to accept the idea of her being recaptured by V and used by the Washuu men like that.
He used her too, of course - and brutally. I think he was mad at her not only for wasting the freedom he helped her win, for almost getting caught again - but also because he still cares. And he doesn’t want to still care about her. So he punished her for his own feelings. Furuta is… not a fan of his own feelings. And he’s childish.
Its not an excuse for what he did to her, but I do think he acted when he did, if not the way he did, because if he hadn’t, there was a very real chance she’d have returned to her old fate. And that, he could not abide. Even now.
What he did, to Rize, in taking her power and undergoing that surgery himself, in killing off all the Washuu, taking leadership of the CCG - he gives multiple reasons for it even in this one conversation with Kaneki. On the one hand, in his proposal to Kaneki, he sets up a clear role for himself - as a villain to unite ghouls and humans against (Kaneki’s team, rather than the CCG and Clowns in this case) and introduces it as a big production, culminating in his own, rather than Kaneki’s death - ever suicidal as he is.
But explicitly, he also claims that people don’t need reasons for what they do. He also claims that he is doing what he wants to do, and that he is doing what he wanted to do as a child.
I think all of these have a grain of truth to them. He talks in such a way that mixes narratives, mixes truth and fiction, and sometimes just because its easier to talk with (half)fake emotion than real ones.
I think that Furuta, the nearly 6 year old child wants to destroy the toxic terrible “family” that used and abused him, and create in its place a 101 Dalmations style family, with him and Rize as Pongo and Perdita. A big loving, new Washuu family. This part of Furuta doesn’t care about ghouls or humans or Kaneki Ken or Eto Yoshimura or any of that at all.
But Furuta is also an adult, and became one probably much too quickly, if he knew what awaited Rize and helped her escape because if it. And the Adult Furuta knows he can’t have any of that. That Rize forgot about him and doesn’t love him back and that he burned that bridge by dropping those beams. His children with her are going to be via Kanou. Anything new will be born from death and fire and war. Adult Furuta has plans. Adult Furuta wants.…something… out of all of this. Some grand finale.
Part of Furuta is still that child - still wants Rize to come back to him and love him and play with him (and maybe kill him). Wants a big happy Disney ending for them. But he also knows he can never really have that. He’s known that he could never have that, because of how he was born. That’s the irony of that line, about the life he has and how he might as well. Because he was born to NEVER get what he wanted, ever. (And yet - and yet he fights back - viciously and endlessly and savagely, despite being born only to serve.) Because he has grown up now, and he’s done terrible things, and he knows that that happiness is impossible. But he’s also 6 years old and desperate and lonely.
I personally have thought for a long time that Rize is being set up as the one who will kill Furuta. I just hope (though I don’t necessarily expect) that they will get a chance to talk before it happens, or when he’s dying, or something. A chance for him to thank her for finally killing him, after all this time. A chance for him to say sorry, or not to - to say he’s glad he did it if it ended there, with him dying in her arms.
I still don’t think Furuta thinks any way about women, in general, though I understand why people see this pattern. It’s certainly a power structure highlighted by his character, either way. I think he probably has a good deal of the background misogyny of the culture and of the Washuu clan in his upbringing, but he also has a deep seeded hatred for everything about that upbringing. His understanding of things is so twisted and bent around this terrible place he was raised in, and the world he was forced to live in, that its honestly a miracle he’s still fighting for something different.
But Furuta sees every structure as a farce, as a mask, as a tool, rather than a truth. And he plays with these tropes of misogyny and discards them just as quickly. He’s making himself out to be a villain, to be crude, to be cruel. And it’s no excuse for his actions - for the very real fate Rize suffered at his hands. But he deals with Matsumae as a failed knight and a hypocrite, not as a woman. He plays with misogyny and its masks and its power system when he’s mock-flirting with Eto, but the next second he throws it away. He has no regard for masculinity or its virtues. Its a game to him. And that is a nasty and dangerous way to look at a very serious thing. Which is a great metaphor for Furuta who sees farce in everything. And is setting up a grand theater with all of Tokyo as its stage, possibly to write his own death into the final act.
“When I unveil this, won’t you come play with me?” He knows what Kaneki wants. He knows who Kaneki will save. He knows who Kaneki will kill. He still wants to die, and he seems to like the idea of dying to make things better, in a sense. And still, he’s speaking like a child. Come play, Kaneki.
“Doesn’t it make you want to die?
If you die, you can get cured you know. (This is true.)
So if you were planning on giving me something.
In this year, I want four times more of that love or hate.
OH BAZE AND CHIRRUT GREW UP TOGETHER. CAN YOU IMAGINE?
Well. Okay. But there's a year age gap. I mean. How big was the temple?
like. What if it was big? And Baze was the snooty honor student prefect and Chirrut was the partyrock carouser in the year below who was always under disciplinary action. I mean. Assuming Chirrut had the same personality and didn't get gradually blind. Not talking about it usually means bad I mean. Baze probably was too good to hang out with him, you know? If he even knew he existed. But in a big place he might not, right? Temple of the Whills probably has school-type politics even if you stay there lifelong.
Then shit goes down, and- what if that's how Chirrut loses his sight? Most of the guardians die...Baze loses his faith because he's the rigid A-student type and WHY WOULD THE FORCE DO THIS TO US WHEN WE DEVOTED OUR LIVES TO IT? He and Chirrut meet years later by Chirrut winsomely ripping him off or whatever but they fall for each other just as people and find out they have common ground later. And Baze is terrifically guilty about it and it's a point of contention because he feels like he failed ALL the guardians. Like, he feels responsible for Chirrut's blindness, and for many deaths, but being blind is the thing that brought Chirrut to where he is with his faith.
but Chirrut's just like HO SHIT I ALSO GET A SWEET BOYFRIEND AND HE'S GOING TO CHASE MY ASS OUT OF EVERY BAR AND SHOOT ANYONE WHO SASSES ME. THANKS, FORCE. BEST PRESENT EVER. I'LL TAKE GREAT CARE OF HIM. And that's how it is for like, twenty years.
I hate missing someone. Their touch, their kiss, their laugh. The way their eyes light up when they talk about things they truly love. The way they say your name. It just makes you feel so damn special. The way they look at you, falling in love with them all over again. Their voice is the sweetest sound and you never want it to stop. You miss the way they brush the hair out of your face. The way their lips feel pressed against yours. Those little cheek and forehead kisses that make you blush.You miss those stupid jokes that you roll your eyes at. You miss them as a whole, but also every single piece of them. I hate missing someone, but I love having someone to miss.
My take on SnB:Vs Episode 14, another long trash post from yours truly. Damn I should make ‘My take’ a thing now! LONG. SUPER LONG since I’m ChariNina trash
WARNING: This post is very long and includes rants as well.
Read at your own risk.
First I would like to finally say the words I’ve been
meaning to shout to all yall, anti or not.
BTCH IS THIS NOT CANON ENOUGH FOR YOU? IS THIS NOT? LOOK AT
IT. LOOT AT IT DAMN IT. AINT IT NOT FCKNG BEAUTIFUL? IS THIS NOT FCKNG CANON
ENOUGH FOR YOU? BTCH IF YOU’RE BLIND TO THE TRUTH (No offense Chari) THEN LET
ME SHOUT IT IN YO EARS AND IF YO TRYING TO BLOCK MY DAMN VOICE LEMME SHOVE IT
IN YO FACE CAUSE IT’S CANON. C A N O N CANON BTCH.
That was good, that was reeeeaaaaaal good. WHAT? STILL DON’T
BELIVE ME YOU PIECE OF- beautiful human flesh THEN LEMME POINT OUT HOW AND BRUH
THIS IS GONNA BE LONG.
First up, my harto. I was stabbed multiple times because of
that new opening and no it’s not because I have a raging cold that I feel like
something is stabbing my heart I legit felt that. Like bro look at this.
LOOK AT IT. (Apologies for the low-quality screenshots, I
couldn’t help myself since I hadn’t downloaded it online and was streaming it
You know it’s legit when they’re the first ones in the OP
but wait there’s more! (You clearly know this is gonna be pure ChariNina with a
little bit of something something but still mainly ChariNina)
Okay time out, let’s appreciate the Chari fan service since
people were complaining that they were making Nina fan service now.
I certainly am not complaining though,
Okay back on track, things I like to point out during this episode
(basically all the ChariNina in this episode) and starting with the OP.
Okay fine since I like this I’ll- OH WAIT OH MY GOB THAT’S
LUCIFER. BABY!!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR 1 SEASON AND A HALF NOW OMG YOU
STILL LOOKING FINE. Oh hey Azazel you’re looking okay too. You both look fine
as hell though… quite literally huehuehuehue
Okay back to the OP, it was siiiiick. Some people said they
didn’t like it compared to the 1st OP but this one was sick and
intense like the first one, sure a little different, more on green less on red
but it’s amazing for me. What I do want to point out are these.
Me while watching: GO NINA, RUN TO YO MAN!
Still me: *quiet*
Still me: *gasp*
Me: OHMYGOB CHARIOCE TEARS OMG PLS SEND HELP GET ME A BOTTLE
CAUSE THAT SHT’S PRECIOUS! WHY YOU CRYING CHARI NOOOOOOO. I smell a backstory
Okay now to the episode, I’m sure most of you have seen it
so I’m not gonna make story tell cause yall are here to see this trash of a
post so you know how it goes, but still here; cute Nina coming home scene which
Yep, cute. Also, Nina is flexible af
Okay now were moving to the moment where all of us were
either too focused and in it to fangirl or were fangirling because of
everything that has been said.
Second up, OMG.
Me while watching this: Nina you better say yes.
SHE SAID YES OMG!!! I made it sound like she said yes to
Chari proposing to her… that could be arranged though…
Me: *starts to fangirl*
Me: *Fangirls even more*
Me: *FKCNING FLIPS A TABLE*
Me: STAHP, STAHP DOING THIS TO MY HEART OMG THIS IS TOO
BEAUTIFUL. SHE FELT SAFE WITH HIS OMG I’M CRYING.
Me: NINA GIRL YOU AINT THE ONLY ONE WHO’S HAPPY. I’M HAPPY,
HE’S HAPPY, YOU’RE HAPPY WE’RE ALL HAPPY BECAUSE OF YOU TWO. JUST FKCNG KISS
Me: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MAPPA WHAT THE HELL!!!!!
KYAAAAAAAAAAA OMG I CAN’T OMG I JUST CAN’T I CAN’T RIGHT NOW I CAN’T. AGAIN,
BTCH THEY CANON. AND YES NINA YOU WERE LITERALLY MADE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH
Me: *insert lenny
face here* (This galaxy is beautiful btw, props to the art in BahaSoul this is
Me: Hihihihihihihihi. Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue. I am
pointing out again to the people who thought Nina’s heart was broken after she
found out Chari was the King in the previous eps please go and suck on this.
JEANNE IS LITERALLY THE FANDOM RIGHT NOW. LIKE MAPPA
LITERALLY PLACED A REPRESENTATION OF THE FANDOM IN-ANIME AND HOLY SHT JEANNE I
COULD NOT AGREE MORE.
Me: Naw Nina you don’t mean that girl… I mean you hated what
he did as King, not as Chari!
Me: I know Nina… well I don’t know but what I would want is
for you to get together.
Me: SEE NINA?! THANK YOU FOR GETTING MY POINT. YOU DON’T HATE HIM, YOU JUST DIDN’T LIKE WHAT HE DID! (Let’s appreciate the triple A writing here like this is some emotional sht right here)
Me answering for Nina and the fandom: YES.
I just want to point out how I said before that Nina wasn’t
broken. Sure she felt hurt and this proves it now but she’s mostly confused and
is in a state of wonder as to why he did all these things and how she should
feel towards a person she loves but is doing all of these things to the other
races. This is like Romeo and Juliet yknow. *end of serious*
Me: SEE NINA? YOU DON’T HATE CHARI! THANK YOU FOR
Okay I just wanna point these out. The last images of Nina’s
flashback to Chari was when Chari was smiling at her, and the last one was with
his disguise as Chris. I feel as though this symbolizes that she didn’t fall in
love with a king but in fact a person; a kind and great guy as she describes
I mean look at this.
All of what she remembers last is his smiles. THE SMILE
PEOPLE THOUGHT WERE SARCASTIC AND WAS MEANT TO TAUNT HER. LOOK NOW BTCH, WHERE’S
YOUR ANTI A**?
Ehem, anyway. I like what Jeanne is pointing out here.
(Jeanne really is literally the fandom in this right now)
Me: IT AINT A MAYBE JEANNE IT IS REAL! But seriously this is
some good sht right here like dang, wow. This speaks to a whole other level,
this can be applied in the real world.
Some of you maybe pointing out ‘but Jeanne doesn’t know who
she likes and if she does she will definitely say no to this!’ My gob you antis
never really shut up huh?
Do you really think Jeanne doesn’t have an idea of who this
person may be when 1.) she saw how the king interacted with Nina back at the
prison and 2.) she was literally there when Nina fought as a dragon to save
her! She saw how Nina didn’t bite off Chari’s head when he came near her and it
would be impossible for her not to see how she de-transformed into a human and
he carefully caught her because she was fkng there and watching!
And if she really doesn’t know who this person Nina likes do
you think she’ll hinder Nina from finding her happiness when the girl who was a
complete stranger to her decided to be kind and help her? Nina could’ve left
her but she didn’t and that’s because that’s who Nina is. Do you really think
Jeanne would be selfish enough to try hinder Nina’s feeling for Charioce? Do
you really think Jeanne would be the type of person who would tell Nina she can’t
love him because he’s a bad guy?
Gob if you think so then you really don’t know who Jeanne D’Arc
is and is just trying to make a way to break of Charioce and Nina.
Jeanne isn’t selfish enough to try and separate Nina from
Charioce because of what he’s done. She might ask Nina if she’s sure with this
and if Nina answers yes then she’ll support her, if Nina answers she doesn’t
know then Jeanne will help her. Jeanne won’t stop Nina from loving who she
wants and I want to make that perfectly clear not unless the creators suddenly decided
to make Jeanne a dck which is highly not possible.
Okay moving on.
Here we have Nina contemplating on life rn. Don’t worry Nina
baby we feel you.
You know something else I really liked this episode? Mama Dragon,
I mean she’s not a dragon but Imma call her Mama Dragon. Mama Dragon is so nice
and lovely and I feel bad because she lost her hubby, now I see where Nina gets
Also, thank you Mappa for giving us a legit mom and not some
hot super model mother who looks the same age as her daughter. Very nice.
Mama Jeanne and Mama Dragon mom time. This is legit probs the only time Jeanne has ever cried her feelings out, leave it to a mom to comfort another mom.
Overall, I am very happy with how this episode turned out. We go an
insight of Nina’s feelings and saw how she’s coping with the info she got. This
gives a new depth to Nina since people just see her as an overly optimistic
person but just because she’s optimistic doesn’t mean she doesn’t have trouble
too. Now I’m happy most especially about badass granny dragon! Like look at
her! She’s so cool!
Ah 2017 has been a good year for romance. Not for me though
but ChariNina’s romance is enough to make me feel happy for love.
I was gonna add my ED
thoughts in here too but that would be a liiiiitttttlle to much for one post
(as 2k words isn’t already ‘too much’) so if you’re interested you can go ahead
and see that too!
Well this ends another long a** post and yes, this is canon
now, you just saw the proof.
I hope you enjoyed my thoughts, I aint here to cause arguments
and those anti anti things are just forms of expressions so don’t take this too
seriously and attack me, although I would like to hear your thoughts my
intention is not to cause fights but to fangirl and give my honest opinions.
Feel free to reblog and comment and have a ChariNina filled
Word Count: 2,700 Summary: “Can you write something where 2017 Matty takes care of his girl who isn’t feeling to well? He runs her a bath, carries her to the bathroom, undresses her while whispering positives in her ear, giving soft kisses to her cheek and then he helps her in the bath and helps her wash up and then maybe later on they cuddle?” Author’s Note: I had way, way too much fun writing this. Thank you for this prompt, anon. Please feel free to send more requests here! Enjoy!
He had flown you out as soon as he had heard. Days and nights of not feeling well, partially due to a terrible cold that did not want to leave and the lack of him by your side on his long tour, had taken their toll. You were ill, unhappy, and frankly a mess.
Pairing: Gabriel x daughter!Reader, Sam x Reader, Cas, Dean Word count: 1,307 Warnings: Angst, swearing, death A/N: Based on this imagine.
When you were four, you watched your mother and father die. You screamed as their necks were all but ripped out, the ‘men’ were laughing and drinking their blood. You heard one mention you- saying you were to be saved for last. Even if you weren’t shaking in fear, you were basically glued to the spot. You were barely able to hear the commotion that was happening in another part of the house- where your older brother would have been. You’d been hoping he could save you, but that was obviously not happening.
“Get down, kid!” Was the first thing that truly registered in your mind, making you whip around. Seeing a couple men moving towards you, your eyes went wide and you dropped to the floor. Your hands went over your ears, your eyes slammed shut, and you tried to wake up. This had to be a nightmare.
Only it wasn’t. When everything was done, your parents were lying in pools of their own blood, their eyes staring ahead, lifeless. You tried to crawl towards them, just for the man that killed the others to lift you up by your waist. “MOMMY!” You reached for her, trying to get away from the bearded man. “DADDY!” You screamed, your cheeks wet with tears, and your throat hoarse from screaming.
In the hall, he set you down, holding you by your small arms. You looked into his face and caved. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He told you. “I’m Bobby.” He introduced himself softly. “Ya got anywhere to go, kid?” You shook your head, and he sighed. “Ya do now.”
You didn’t speak to anyone for a long time. Bobby stopped trying after the first few months, the two of you working out your own way of doing things. The boys helped when they stayed with the two of you, both managing to make you smile, which was rare.
Nightmares plagued you for a long time, until you became so used to them that they barely bothered you anymore. At least not enough to wake up screaming and crying.
It scared Bobby a bit, knowing what a dark path your life could take. However, things started to turn around when you turned 10. Something Sam said had gotten through to you. How he never knew his mother, at least you had the good memories. He hadn’t said it to be mean, and Bobby knew that. Sam just wanted you to remember how they were when they were alive, and not the night that they were taken from you.
After that, you opened up. You would speak, but only to Bobby and the boys at first. Little by little, you became a fairly normal pre-teen. And boy did Bobby get it. He was thankful that he’d been able to help you get there, but he internally groaned at the coming years. Boys, bras, periods, and more that he didn’t even want to fathom.
Hi guys! I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. Because I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 18, I know how subtle the symptoms can be, and therefore how frustrating it can be. You can’t ever seem to concentrate, study, or be productive but you have no idea what is causing these obstacles. I’m obviously not an expert, but I figured it would be helpful for me to offer advice and share what has helped me over the years!
1) First and foremost, DON’T beat yourself up! This is the easiest trap to fall into. This truly will only make things worse! Accept your frustration, but don’t get angry with yourself to the point that you give up. Not only are you hurting yourself by giving up on productivity, but you’re also hurting yourself by having a low opinion of yourself. This low opinion will go from a circumstantial feeling to an ongoing feeling. It’s okay to not be perfectly productive all of the time. No one is!
2) Find a nice, clear, quiet, and comfortable space that WORKS FOR YOU. This seems obvious, but this is more important to find. I found myself going to the quiet floor of the library, assuming that that would be the most logical option. However, although it seems like a good choice, it simply wasn’t the best choice FOR ME. Experiment with your options!
3) Get rid of your distractions! Again, another obvious thing to do, but often the most difficult thing to do. Turn off your phone, get rid of miscellaneous objects that will distract you, turn off your computer, etc. One issue I find is that while I want to turn my phone off, I can’t because I need it to play music. If this is the case for you, I highly recommend turning your phone on airplane mode! And for the computer, I recommend turning the wifi off, that way if you feel tempted to go on the internet, you’ll have to make the decision to turn on the wifi and do so. Ideally, having this obstacle will help rid of the temptation.
4) Speaking of music, if you are musically inclined, this can be EXTREMELY helpful! I personally recommend instrumental music (Spotify has great playlists such as peaceful piano, peaceful guitar, etc.) Something else I find helpful is white noise. Sometimes, you just need silence. So if you find a playlist for white noise (also on Spotify!) and put in your headphones, it can feel as though you’re listening to silence. It’s a strange thought, but it is worth a try!
5) Take breaks! This is key. Oftentimes, you can get frustrated with yourself for not being able to concentrate. When this happens, take a step back and give yourself a break! Sitting there frustrated and upset yet trying to concentrate is honestly a lost cause. It’s okay to take short breaks when you need them.
These tips might not work for everyone, but if it helps even one person, I consider that a success! If anyone ever has questions, needs advice, or just wants to rant about their ADHD, please message me! I will help in any way I can! Thanks for reading!
Title: The Baker
and the Blogger (why do I suck so hard at titles? Help me out here ppl)
Pairing: Jin x
somehow wore an all-pink outfit today (which is weird, I’m usually in black),
which of course got me thinking about Jin. And I guess I’m craving some kind of
dessert? Again, any constructive feedback is much appreciated!
The smells of cinnamon and vanilla hit your nose as soon as
you open the door. The café is decorated in neutrals, with white, gold, and
pink accents (like flowers and throw pillows at the comfortable booths). You
were a food blogger, which meant that you tried to go to every new shop as soon
as they opened. Your friend had beat you to the punch though and had been
raving non-stop. So even though you had a list of places around town you needed
to still review, you bumped the Pink Princess Bakery to the top of your
list. The name had made you imagine something
super tacky, but it was somehow tasteful and comforting-you immediately felt at
home. Which was strange, since you probably stood out in your ripped black
jeans, oversized black hoodie, and black Supergas. It wasn’t that you were Goth-you
just always seemed to gravitate toward darker colors.
The desserts behind the counter made your mouth water. In
addition to the standard bread and cookies, there were cupcakes, tartes, cakes,
and every other type of dessert you could imagine. There were also
Eastern-style desserts, which had less chocolate and sugar, but looked equally
delicious. The irresistible smell of freshly brewed coffee also lingered in the
air, and you knew that despite your aesthetic clash with the décor, this would
be one of your new favorite places.
You were snapped out of your admiration for the pastries by
a friendly “Annyeonghaseo!” You stood up from your inspection of the case a
little too quickly and almost felt dizzy. Though the person in front of you may
have had something to do with the dizziness. He was relatively tall and
extremely broad shouldered, and was wearing (what else?) a fluffy pink angora
sweater. He winked at you, and you blushed almost as pink as your surroundings.
You ignored it though.
hi, can I have a latte, and one of the éclairs?”
course! A great choice. Would you like a lot o’ latte or the smaller size?”
You winced at the lameness of the joke, and didn’t even
remember your reply due to the secondhand embarrassment, but the man behind the
counter seemed unfazed. His smile was as big as ever as he placed the éclair on a small
plate and passed it over the counter to you.
“I’ll bring your latte over in just a minute! Feel free to
sit wherever you would like,” he beamed.
Overwhelmed by his effervescence, you chose to sit in a
secluded corner, where you could take sneaky photos for your blog, and people
watch. Some were working, and others reading, but no one seemed to be in a
rush, and the atmosphere was very relaxed. As you surveyed your surroundings,
the man behind the counter approached with your drink, still smiling.
“Is this your first time here? What is your name? I’m the
owner! My name is Jin. We opened about a month ago, but things are just
starting to pick up…” he said quickly.
You were somewhat overwhelmed by the rapid-fire questions,
but there was something warm, and almost parental about him.
“I’m ___” you said simply. Did he know that you were a local
blogger, or was he just this friendly to everyone? Part of the reason that you
chose blogging was because it meant that you could be out in the world, but in
limited quantities. You didn’t have to deal with people face to face all of the
time. Just as you were thinking that you didn’t mind Jin’s company too much
though, he winked again, blew a kiss, and returned to the counter to serve
other customers. Was he a player? All of this winking and air kissing seemed a
bit sleazy, but you didn’t get that vibe from him. You decided to ignore it,
and jotted down notes about the furnishings, Wi-Fi, prices, types of coffee,
and anything else you might need for your blog. The rest of your visit was
uneventful, though you made sure to star (THREE TIMES) in your notes that it
was the best éclair you ever had. Jin waved frantically as you left, and you
again ducked your head in sudden embarrassment or shyness. You couldn’t figure
Jin kicked himself as you stepped out the door into the
spring day outside. Could he have acted like more of an idiot? The air kisses
and dad jokes had started as a joke with his dongsaengs, but out of context
they just made him seem weird. You should
ease people into your weirdness, he thought to himself. As he loved baking
(obviously) and cooking, he tried to keep up with the local food and restaurant
“scene.” Though you kept a low profile and focused on reviewing the restaurants
rather than providing personal information, he had recognized you immediately
through the few photos with friends that you had posted on your blog (always in
the context of reviewing a new place). Your blog was one of his favorites, and
as an avid follower, he felt like he might have messed up his chance at a good
impression. You were even cuter in person, and had a sort of tsundere charm
(not to mention fashion sense) that reminded him of his brother Yoongi. He was
dreading reading the review that you would post. He sighed and wiped down the
counter. He was literally never awkward (*LIES*), but of course he had to blow
it with you.
You stared at the cursor flashing on your laptop screen. You
had been trying to write a review of the bakery you had visited earlier that morning, but you didn’t
know where to begin. The only thing you could seemingly remember was the
blinding smile of the owner. You wanted to evaluate the place fairly and
honestly, and professionalism was important to you. You were a “brand” and you
didn’t want to undermine people’s trust in your reviews. You remembered that
the éclair melted in your mouth, and the coffee had kept you going all day. But
for some reason, those kept fading into the background, and the clearest thing
in your memory was Jin’s bubbly small talk. You sighed and snapped your
computer shut. You never had writers block. The only thing to do to make sure
you were truly objective in your review was to return tomorrow and gather more
Jin was shelving a fresh batch of rainbow macarons when he
heard the bell that he had put on the door jingle. He almost dropped the tray
when he saw you come through the door. You were again wearing black from head
to toe (though to be fair, he was again wearing pink, so to each their own).
Today, you actually made eye contact with him, which he considered to be a step
forward. Your eyes were almost as rich as the chocolate he used in many of his
creations, but he stopped himself before he said anything weird. He took a deep
breath, and smiled his friendliest smile.
“Back again so soon? Is it the pastries you can’t get enough
of, or me?” He wanted to die the minute he said it. If he burned his tongue on
coffee today, it would only be the universe realigning his karma.
You gave him a blank stare for a second. As he could feel
his ears becoming as pink as his shirt, he noticed the smallest upward quirk at
the side of your mouth. He froze. He
could only imagine how dazzling an actual smile from you would be, but he
already knew deep down that he was up for the challenge.
In a quiet voice that he almost missed, he heard you mumble,
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”
Are you interested in an icon made by yours truly? They’re a fun thing I enjoy making but I’m emotionally attached to mine and cannot part with it. So if you would like your own icon then let me know what picture and colour you would like as a background and we can go from there!
ok so… this is basically just an observation and it’s probably common knowledge but eh, I’ll make a post of it anyway.
I was looking through the manga and I was wondering: Just who can read the writing of Youkai and who can’t? How do you even read it? It’s been stated that normal humans can’t read the letters..but this doesn’t necessarily hold true throughout the story.
We already know for sure that Reiko can read youkai writing. We can base this off of the fact that she can easily read the names of the youkai in the book of friends.
At first I assumed it was because she has mingled with youkai enough to be able to read their written language. I completely discarded this thought when I read the manga for the first time. Unlike the anime, Natsume is actually able to read the writing in the first chapter. (and we all know Natsume actively tried to keep his distance from youkai up until this point)
What caught my attention was the fact that he’s confused as to why he can read the letters in the first place. He’s had the book for a while, but he’s JUST realizing he can read the letters. Which brings me to the question of: “how can someone read the letters?” Does it have to do with spiritual ability?
No…I don’t think it has to do with power at all. Someone from the Matoba clan wasn’t able to read the letters when looking through Natsume’s bag. When Natsume’s items were inspected after his capture in chapter 35, one would assume that someone for an exorcist clan is able to recognize/read youkai writing. However, the only thing that was brought up was the title of the book (I believe in the anime they also mentioned the “scribbles” inside)
I know, I know, one could argue that “oh! They just didn’t look inside!”. While this IS a possibility, I still don’t think it has anything to do with spiritual power. “Why?” you ask. Well…because of Shibata
Shibata is 100% human and, as far as we know, has absolutely no spiritual ability whatsoever. However, despite youkai writing being illegible to normal humans, he was able to understand the letter that Murasaki sent him. This leads me to a little theory…
Humans are able to read ayakashi letters based off of their understanding of youkai emotions. This would explain why Shibata is able to understand the letter despite being a normal human. Most humans can’t read the writing because they don’t even believe youkai exist in the first place, so there’s no way to understand anything about them. Shibata has met Murasaki and understands her emotions specifically. It can also be why some exorcists are unable to read it. They don’t even bother trying to understand youkai emotions. They just quickly exorcise one and then move on to the next. I also believe that Natsume was able to read the writing because he’s willing to understand more about youkai and what they feel. He’s always wanted friends, doesn’t matter if they’re youkai or human.
tl;dr : youkai writing is not so much as something you read as it’s something you understand.
Requested: Hi there! Could you write one where Y/N is a very stubborn and independent woman (does everything by herself, even stuff like carrying heavy things etc., doesn’t really need anyone’s help) and Jack always
wants to help, but Y/N just politely says there’s no need to, so finally he says that it’s his job as a boyfriend to help with stuff like that and she finally agrees? Not in a mean way, just a sweet banter :)
A/N: Okay so I saw so much of myself in this character that I ended up basically writing something super personal and meaningful to me. It’s not really the banter you asked for but hopefully you still like it!
Warnings: Anxiety, panic attacks (kinda?)
“Do you need help with that?” Jack
asked from his spot at the table. He’d been watching you in the kitchen,
struggling to open a jar of pasta sauce for the past minute.
“No thanks, I got it.” You said
politely, although it came out a little forced as you were throwing all your
strength into twisting open the lid, but it still didn’t budge.
“Are you sure?” Jack said, raising an
eyebrow at you.
“Really, I got it!” You said, moving on
to plan B. You ran some hot water over the lid and pulled out a towel to add some friction. Taking a deep breath, you twisted the lid with all your strength
until you heard a small *pop*. “See?”
Jack laughed at your proud expression. You were incredibly stubborn but it was one of the things he loved about you. He knew you’d try literally everything before asking for help, which sometimes led to trouble. You’d once needed to film a video using Jack’s equipment instead of your own and you were unfamiliar with his microphone. You spent an hour fiddling with the thing instead of just calling up your own boyfriend to ask for help. But in the end, you always figured out some way to make things work on your own. You were truly the most independent person he’d ever met.
That night, you and all the boys went out to a club to celebrate Joe’s birthday. You were having a great time, the club
was extravagant and the drinks were super fancy. You had just stepped off the dance floor to get a new drink when you checked your phone and saw a text from your best friend.
“Just a heads up, I think Max is headed to the same club as you tonight…”
Max was your ex-boyfriend and your
friend was still dating one of his housemates so she knew where he would be tonight. You checked the time stamp. 10:22pm. Twenty minutes ago. He was probably already here.
“Oh no…” You replied.
“Yeah I think he wants to try and talk to you.”
You’d had a particularly nasty break up with Max. Well, it wasn’t so much the break up that was nasty, more the relationship as a whole. He had been incredibly emotionally manipulative, and after the break up, you’d found out he’d been cheating as well. You were happy to be out of that toxic relationship
and with Jack now, but you were still dealing with anxiety over what had
happened. Of course, like everything else in your life, you were dealing with
it on your own, and you hadn’t even told Jack about it. Besides, it had never
been bad enough to actually affect your relationship.
After reading the text, you could feel
your heart rate start to quicken at the thought of Max trying to confront you.
You were determined not to let this ruin your night though, especially not on
Joe’s birthday, so you took a few deep breaths, your eyes scanning the club.
You didn’t see Max anywhere, so you told yourself you were just overreacting
and made your way back through the crowd to Jack. When you got to him, you
started dancing again, but you couldn’t take your mind off Max, and you kept on
the look out for him.
“Is everything okay, Y/N?” Jack asked, noticing your eyes darting around the club every few seconds.
“Yeah I’m fine!” You said to Jack. As long as Max doesn’t show up, you thought to yourself.
As if right on cue, you spotted his
piercing blue eyes, staring right back at you. Your immediate reaction was to
run but you wanted to be strong. You could handle a little bit of anxiety, no
problem! Just like with the jar and the microphone, you’d pull yourself
together and deal with it.
But you couldn’t really focus on your
dancing anymore and you were suddenly finding it hard to breathe. You couldn’t
understand where all this anxiety was coming from. This was literally someone
you’d spent a year and a half of your life with and now the sight of him had
you in a complete panic. But that’s the thing about anxiety. It doesn’t make
sense. Max began to make his way over to you and your heart stopped.
“I have to leave,” You blurted out to
Jack and turned towards the exit. You don’t really remember what Jack did or
yourself leaving the club, just the overwhelming feeling of being trapped and needing to get out. Your vision was tunneling and you noticed the sweat on your hands the second you gripped the door handle, twisting it open as you practically fell out of the club.
“Y/N, what’s going on?!” You hadn’t
noticed but Jack had been right behind you the whole time. He was now standing in front of you, looking possibly as terrified as you did as you propped
yourself up against the wall of the club.
“Nothing, I’m fine.” You replied,
trying to shake off the panic, but your voice still quivered.
“No, you’re clearly not,” Jack said
sternly. “You looked like you were about to have a panic attack in there. And
you’re shaking!” He put his hands on your shoulders to try to calm you down.
You sighed, knowing you were going to have to explain things somehow.
“Max came out to the club tonight.
Apparently he wanted to talk to me and… I don’t know, I’ve just been dealing
with a lot of anxiety about that whole thing, I’m sorry, I know it doesn’t make sense.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this
earlier?” Jack asked, but he wasn’t angry, just upset because he couldn’t
protect you from something he didn’t even know about.
“I thought I could deal with it on my
own so I didn’t want to ask for help.” You explained, just as you had so many
times before but the difference was those were all problems you could handle yourself.
“Y/N,” Jack said, taking your hands in his and holding them tight to stop your shaking. “It’s okay to ask for help. I’m your boyfriend, I’m supposed to help you with things like this.”
You avoided looking at Jack, still
uncomfortable with the idea of actually needing someone else.
“Okay?” Jack said, ducking his head
down so you had to look into his eyes.
You watched him, his beautiful blue
eyes so different from the ones that had caused your panic only moments ago.
Looking into Jack’s eyes reminded you of the ocean and you finally felt calm
“Okay.” You took a deep breath as Jack pulled you into a hug. You rested your head on his chest, feeling the fatigue of the past few minutes, and although there was vulnerability in needing someone else, you knew that with Jack, there would also always be comfort.
A/N: I tried really hard to make sure I wasn’t just romanticizing anxiety in this one! I think the reason I wrote it was partly for myself but partly to remind y'all that it is okay to ask for help when it comes to these things. And I’m always here if you want to talk!!
Let’s destroy the idea that any human can be truly independent in the 21st century (and that not being able to live “independently” is shameful).
Living separately from your parents, doing your own house chores, driving a car, earning enough to completely sustain yourself… none of these things make you truly independent.
Because guess who built your house? Not you. Who produced food, clothes, furniture and almost everything you own? Not you. Who provides water, electricity, heat and Internet to your house? Not you. Who made your car and taught you to drive? Not you.
And even if you did some of these things on your own, I doubt you do everything by yourself. Unless you live in the forest and feed off the land, you are not truly independent. You depend on the human society to function and THAT’S OKAY.
We depend on each other and we have always depended on each other. In ancient times humans lived in big groups and helped each other survive. Now we are even better at helping each other and that’s great! Actually it would be awesome if we could go back to living in big families or at least big friend groups.
So stop shaming disabled people for having needs that abled people don’t have. Society sees the needs of abled people as reasonable and acceptable, and the needs of disabled people as unnecessary and “special”. But it’s nonsense.
Not being able to live on your own is not bad. Needing help with house chores is not bad. Not being able to drive a car is not bad. Living on disability pays is not bad. Needing constant help and support to function is not bad. It’s not immature, pathetic or tragic - it’s a normal part of human experience.
Please respect the needs of disabled people.