things yours truly makes

8

tae is lucky to have him

Post-it Q. Taehyungie what is Jimin’s charming point? ©
Taehyung: 1) Eyes 2) Abs 3) Voice 4) Park Jimin’s very existence 

Haise’s Birthday Poem begins with the lines [x]:

“Someone said this:
“Even if you have no memories of being loved, for as long as you have memories of loving someone, you can continue to live.”

…But how is someone who has never been loved be capable of loving someone else?

A child who wasn’t able to receive the minimal love they required at the time they needed it the most will continue to gaze at the illusion of affection and never know how to love until the day they die.

Well, how about me? Can I continue to live?”

Furuta grew up without love, surrounded by the products of Tsuneyoshi’s fucked up harem. The only person who seems to have shown any affection at all for him, as seen in the flashback in this chapter, is Rize. Rize who cared if he died when she ate him. Rize who played with him. Rize, whose fate he was fully aware of. Who he saved, because at some point, or maybe deep down still, he understood that that fate is wrong. She was the only thing he had, and he let her go, for her sake.

In this explanation to Kaneki, he mentions explicitly that as a child, he had these childish ideas of love and marriage in the future for them. Things he gave up for her safety from the men of the main Washuu house.

Even when he’s being crude and creepy, talking about Rize having all of those children for him, he references 101 Dalmatians. A Disney movie. And one with some of the healthiest romances, both between the dogs and the humans.

Even now, he’s looking at a Disney movie where two dogs snuggle each other. Where these two dogs have 15 puppies who they risk their lives to save. And who adopt 84 other puppies who would otherwise be dead. When you think about him as someone who grew up surrounded by who knows how many half-siblings, in the Garden like he did - this is basically him saying he wants a Disney Romance.

Which is not to say that the way he’s speaking isn’t terrible. That the tropes he’s using aren’t horrible and misogynistic. They are. Furuta, as he always has, is falling back on farce and drama, on systems of power that he himself as already explicitly told you he condemns. Furuta switches between honest and lying, between truth and exaggeration, between real emotion and fake dramatic flare over and over.

He speaks in this weird mix between a cynical jaded, crude adult, and a desperate, sad, idealistic, stubborn child. Like with his big speech to Eto about V in 66, I think this chapter he is mixing truth and fiction. Sometimes strategically, sometimes just because.

@linkspooky​ pointed out to me that it almost seems that the more honest he’s being, the less of his face is shown. Times when he’s really approaching sincerity and seriousness, he’s shown from the side.

Where as most of the time, he’s hidden under his flare and his masks and his drama.

Furuta, for all his fake emotion, is clearly uncomfortable with the real thing. Uncomfortable when people make him feel things and uncomfortable expressing emotion. Uncomfortable and unskilled and really parsing it.

Instead, he falls back on theatre and performance and lies.

When he says he couldn’t bare the thought of her having a kid after being free for so long… was he talking (just) about jealousy, or was he talking about the fact that the CCG, and thus V, was gaining on her - had almost captured her in the 6th ward and gotten Shachi in the struggle, and was well on their way to tracking her down again? Was he talking about not wanting her to be free, or about after all that time, still not being able to accept the idea of her being recaptured by V and used by the Washuu men like that.

He used her too, of course - and brutally. I think he was mad at her not only for wasting the freedom he helped her win, for almost getting caught again - but also because he still cares. And he doesn’t want to still care about her. So he punished her for his own feelings. Furuta is… not a fan of his own feelings. And he’s childish.

Its not an excuse for what he did to her, but I do think he acted when he did, if not the way he did, because if he hadn’t, there was a very real chance she’d have returned to her old fate. And that, he could not abide. Even now.

What he did, to Rize, in taking her power and undergoing that surgery himself, in killing off all the Washuu, taking leadership of the CCG - he gives multiple reasons for it even in this one conversation with Kaneki. On the one hand, in his proposal to Kaneki, he sets up a clear role for himself - as a villain to unite ghouls and humans against (Kaneki’s team, rather than the CCG and Clowns in this case) and introduces it as a big production, culminating in his own, rather than Kaneki’s death - ever suicidal as he is.

But explicitly, he also claims that people don’t need reasons for what they do. He also claims that he is doing what he wants to do, and that he is doing what he wanted to do as a child.

I think all of these have a grain of truth to them. He talks in such a way that mixes narratives, mixes truth and fiction, and sometimes just because its easier to talk with (half)fake emotion than real ones.

I think that Furuta, the nearly 6 year old child wants to destroy the toxic terrible “family” that used and abused him, and create in its place a 101 Dalmations style family, with him and Rize as Pongo and Perdita. A big loving, new Washuu family. This part of Furuta doesn’t care about ghouls or humans or Kaneki Ken or Eto Yoshimura or any of that at all.

But Furuta is also an adult, and became one probably much too quickly, if he knew what awaited Rize and helped her escape because if it. And the Adult Furuta knows he can’t have any of that. That Rize forgot about him and doesn’t love him back and that he burned that bridge by dropping those beams. His children with her are going to be via Kanou. Anything new will be born from death and fire and war. Adult Furuta has plans. Adult Furuta wants.…something… out of all of this. Some grand finale.

Part of Furuta is still that child - still wants Rize to come back to him and love him and play with him (and maybe kill him). Wants a big happy Disney ending for them. But he also knows he can never really have that. He’s known that he could never have that, because of how he was born. That’s the irony of that line, about the life he has and how he might as well. Because he was born to NEVER get what he wanted, ever. (And yet - and yet he fights back - viciously and endlessly and savagely, despite being born only to serve.) Because he has grown up now, and he’s done terrible things, and he knows that that happiness is impossible. But he’s also 6 years old and desperate and lonely.

I personally have thought for a long time that Rize is being set up as the one who will kill Furuta. I just hope (though I don’t necessarily expect) that they will get a chance to talk before it happens, or when he’s dying, or something. A chance for him to thank her for finally killing him, after all this time. A chance for him to say sorry, or not to - to say he’s glad he did it if it ended there, with him dying in her arms.

I still don’t think Furuta thinks any way about women, in general, though I understand why people see this pattern. It’s certainly a power structure highlighted by his character, either way. I think he probably has a good deal of the background misogyny of the culture and of the Washuu clan in his upbringing, but he also has a deep seeded hatred for everything about that upbringing. His understanding of things is so twisted and bent around this terrible place he was raised in, and the world he was forced to live in, that its honestly a miracle he’s still fighting for something different.

But Furuta sees every structure as a farce, as a mask, as a tool, rather than a truth. And he plays with these tropes of misogyny and discards them just as quickly. He’s making himself out to be a villain, to be crude, to be cruel. And it’s no excuse for his actions - for the very real fate Rize suffered at his hands. But he deals with Matsumae as a failed knight and a hypocrite, not as a woman. He plays with misogyny and its masks and its power system when he’s mock-flirting with Eto, but the next second he throws it away. He has no regard for masculinity or its virtues. Its a game to him. And that is a nasty and dangerous way to look at a very serious thing. Which is a great metaphor for Furuta who sees farce in everything. And is setting up a grand theater with all of Tokyo as its stage, possibly to write his own death into the final act.

“When I unveil this, won’t you come play with me?” He knows what Kaneki wants. He knows who Kaneki will save. He knows who Kaneki will kill. He still wants to die, and he seems to like the idea of dying to make things better, in a sense. And still, he’s speaking like a child. Come play, Kaneki. 

“Doesn’t it make you want to die?
If you die, you can get cured you know. (This is true.)



So if you were planning on giving me something.
In this year, I want four times more of that love or hate.



PS: (Laugh, it’s fun!)” [x]

  • Everyone else: OH BAZE AND CHIRRUT GREW UP TOGETHER. CAN YOU IMAGINE?
  • Me: Well. Okay. But there's a year age gap. I mean. How big was the temple?
  • Me: like. What if it was big? And Baze was the snooty honor student prefect and Chirrut was the partyrock carouser in the year below who was always under disciplinary action. I mean. Assuming Chirrut had the same personality and didn't get gradually blind. Not talking about it usually means bad I mean. Baze probably was too good to hang out with him, you know? If he even knew he existed. But in a big place he might not, right? Temple of the Whills probably has school-type politics even if you stay there lifelong.
  • Me: Then shit goes down, and- what if that's how Chirrut loses his sight? Most of the guardians die...Baze loses his faith because he's the rigid A-student type and WHY WOULD THE FORCE DO THIS TO US WHEN WE DEVOTED OUR LIVES TO IT? He and Chirrut meet years later by Chirrut winsomely ripping him off or whatever but they fall for each other just as people and find out they have common ground later. And Baze is terrifically guilty about it and it's a point of contention because he feels like he failed ALL the guardians. Like, he feels responsible for Chirrut's blindness, and for many deaths, but being blind is the thing that brought Chirrut to where he is with his faith.
  • Me: but Chirrut's just like HO SHIT I ALSO GET A SWEET BOYFRIEND AND HE'S GOING TO CHASE MY ASS OUT OF EVERY BAR AND SHOOT ANYONE WHO SASSES ME. THANKS, FORCE. BEST PRESENT EVER. I'LL TAKE GREAT CARE OF HIM. And that's how it is for like, twenty years.
  • Other People: ...WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?
I hate missing someone. Their touch, their kiss, their laugh. The way their eyes light up when they talk about things they truly love. The way they say your name. It just makes you feel so damn special. The way they look at you, falling in love with them all over again. Their voice is the sweetest sound and you never want it to stop. You miss the way they brush the hair out of your face. The way their lips feel pressed against yours. Those little cheek and forehead kisses that make you blush.You miss those stupid jokes that you roll your eyes at. You miss them as a whole, but also every single piece of them. I hate missing someone, but I love having someone to miss.
—  I hate missing someone
A Father’s Betrayal

Originally posted by lucifersagents

Pairing: Gabriel x daughter!Reader, Sam x Reader, Cas, Dean
Word count: 1,307
Warnings: Angst, swearing, death
A/N: Based on this imagine.


When you were four, you watched your mother and father die. You screamed as their necks were all but ripped out, the ‘men’ were laughing and drinking their blood. You heard one mention you- saying you were to be saved for last. Even if you weren’t shaking in fear, you were basically glued to the spot. You were barely able to hear the commotion that was happening in another part of the house- where your older brother would have been. You’d been hoping he could save you, but that was obviously not happening.

“Get down, kid!” Was the first thing that truly registered in your mind, making you whip around. Seeing a couple men moving towards you, your eyes went wide and you dropped to the floor. Your hands went over your ears, your eyes slammed shut, and you tried to wake up. This had to be a nightmare.  

Only it wasn’t. When everything was done, your parents were lying in pools of their own blood, their eyes staring ahead, lifeless. You tried to crawl towards them, just for the man that killed the others to lift you up by your waist. “MOMMY!” You reached for her, trying to get away from the bearded man. “DADDY!” You screamed, your cheeks wet with tears, and your throat hoarse from screaming.

In the hall, he set you down, holding you by your small arms. You looked into his face and caved. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He told you. “I’m Bobby.” He introduced himself softly. “Ya got anywhere to go, kid?” You shook your head, and he sighed. “Ya do now.”

You didn’t speak to anyone for a long time. Bobby stopped trying after the first few months, the two of you working out your own way of doing things. The boys helped when they stayed with the two of you, both managing to make you smile, which was rare.

Nightmares plagued you for a long time, until you became so used to them that they barely bothered you anymore. At least not enough to wake up screaming and crying.

It scared Bobby a bit, knowing what a dark path your life could take. However, things started to turn around when you turned 10. Something Sam said had gotten through to you. How he never knew his mother, at least you had the good memories. He hadn’t said it to be mean, and Bobby knew that. Sam just wanted you to remember how they were when they were alive, and not the night that they were taken from you.

After that, you opened up. You would speak, but only to Bobby and the boys at first. Little by little, you became a fairly normal pre-teen. And boy did Bobby get it. He was thankful that he’d been able to help you get there, but he internally groaned at the coming years. Boys, bras, periods, and more that he didn’t even want to fathom.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hiiiii I love your art it is beautiful! Could you take a request of teacher!kuailiang or teacher!kenshi?

EDIT: lol i forgot to add his scar c’: …shame on me

Natsume Yuujinchou: Ayakashi Writing

ok so… this is basically just an observation and it’s probably common knowledge but eh, I’ll make a post of it anyway.

I was looking through the manga and I was wondering: Just who can read the writing of Youkai and who can’t? How do you even read it? It’s been stated that normal humans can’t read the letters..but this doesn’t necessarily hold true throughout the story.

We already know for sure that Reiko can read youkai writing. We can base this off of the fact that she can easily read the names of the youkai in the book of friends.

At first I assumed it was because she has mingled with youkai enough to be able to read their written language. I completely discarded this thought when I read the manga for the first time. Unlike the anime, Natsume is actually able to read the writing in the first chapter. (and we all know Natsume actively tried to keep his distance from youkai up until this point)

What caught my attention was the fact that he’s confused as to why he can read the letters in the first place. He’s had the book for a while, but he’s JUST realizing he can read the letters. Which brings me to the question of: “how can someone read the letters?” Does it have to do with spiritual ability?

No…I don’t think it has to do with power at all. Someone from the Matoba clan wasn’t able to read the letters when looking through Natsume’s bag. When Natsume’s  items were inspected after his capture in chapter 35, one would assume that someone for an exorcist clan is able to recognize/read youkai writing. However, the only thing that was brought up was the title of the book (I believe in the anime they also mentioned the “scribbles” inside)

I know, I know, one could argue that “oh! They just didn’t look inside!”. While this IS a possibility, I still don’t think it has anything to do with spiritual power. “Why?” you ask. Well…because of Shibata

Shibata is 100% human and, as far as we know, has absolutely no spiritual ability whatsoever. However, despite youkai writing being illegible to normal humans, he was able to understand the letter that Murasaki sent him. This leads me to a little theory…

Humans are able to read ayakashi letters based off of their understanding of youkai emotions. This would explain why Shibata is able to understand the letter despite being a normal human. Most humans can’t read the writing because they don’t even believe youkai exist in the first place, so there’s no way to understand anything about them. Shibata has met Murasaki and understands her emotions specifically. It can also be why some exorcists are unable to read it. They don’t even bother trying to understand youkai emotions. They just quickly exorcise one and then move on to the next. I also believe that Natsume was able to read the writing because he’s willing to understand more about youkai and what they feel. He’s always wanted friends, doesn’t matter if they’re youkai or human.

tl;dr : youkai writing is not so much as something you read as it’s something you understand.

Let’s destroy the idea that any human can be truly independent in the 21st century (and that not being able to live “independently” is shameful). Living separately from your parents, doing your own house chores, driving a car, earning enough to completely sustain yourself… none of these things make you truly independent. Because guess who built your house? Not you. Who produced food, clothes, furniture and almost everything you own? Not you. Who provides water, electricity, heat and Internet to your house? Not you. Who made your car and taught you to drive? Not you. And even if you did some of these things on your own, I doubt you do everything by yourself. Unless you live in the forest and feed off the land, you are not truly independent. You depend on the human society to function and THAT’S OKAY. We depend on each other and we have always depended on each other. In ancient times humans lived in big groups and helped each other survive. Now we are even better at helping each other and that’s great! Actually it would be awesome if we could go back to living in big families or at least big friend groups. So stop shaming disabled people for having needs that abled people don’t have. Society sees the needs of abled people as reasonable and acceptable, and the needs of disabled people as unnecessary and “special”. But it’s nonsense. Not being able to live on your own is not bad. Needing help with house chores is not bad. Not being able to drive a car is not bad. Living on disability pays is not bad. Needing constant help and support to function is not bad. It’s not immature, pathetic or tragic - it’s a normal part of human experience. Please respect the needs of disabled people.

anonymous asked:

dating regulus would include

  • Becoming friends with Sirius which pisses Regulus off
  • His parents not approving so he dates you in secret
  • Trying to keep him from becoming a Death Eater
  • Make out sessions late at night by the Forbidden Forest
  • Cheering him on at his Quidditch games and surprising him with butterbeer even when his team loses (which makes him feel significantly better)
  • Kreacher being almost overly nice to you when he realises you’re one of the few things that makes Regulus truly happy
  • Him kissing the top of your head while you’re listening to his heartbeat
  • Holdings his hands in yours because his are always too cold
  • Long, long hugs when it all gets to be too much for both of you
  • Him leaving you helpful reminders and sweet messages on spare bits of parchment, all simply signed R.A.B

Originally posted by xnoanwsersx

-Lauren and Kerrie

I really hope that you’re doing well and enjoying drawing. If you feel hopeless and lost with where you work is going, or unsure of your skills at all, all you need is time, patience and perseverance to keep going. With time and practice, anyone can gain the understanding and knowledge they need.

All of you are able to hone your craft and make truly wonderful things, the only thing keeping you is your will to continue.

3

#OnlyNielDay

Happy 23rd Birthday, Niel  ❤

PLEASE believe me when i say that even when your depression makes you feel like absolute dog shit, doing just one little productive thing in your day, really and truly makes you feel just a little better!

some things that i do on my particularly shitty days:

  • play video games - this might seem counter productive, but what i do is i set a singular goal for myself, ie: i’m gonna reach this part of the map today, i’m gonna beat this boss today, i’m gonna get to this level today, etc and so on. completing these goals gives me a little extra boost of confidence in myself that i try to ride on for the rest of the day!
  • quick wash up - especially during my gaming time, if i find that i’m getting too frustrated with being stuck on something, or if i’ve completed what i wanted to do, or if the game forces me to wait for something to complete/happen, i go to the bathroom and wash my face and/or brush my teeth, maybe even take a shower if there’s nothing else to do - it helps me feel fresher and clears my mind a bit!
  • eat something easy - on days where i’m not particularly hungry for a full meal, or just don’t have the energy to use the stove or even the microwave, i usually try to snack on something small, relatively healthy, and easy to make - peanut butter crackers are my go to snack that generally keeps me satiated through the day! dry cereal is also a great suggestion - fruit loops and frosted flakes are my favs!
  • load the dishwasher - you don’t have to even start it! i just throw whatever is in the sink into the washer. for the more gunky, icky pooey dishes, i usually just have them soak in a butt load of dawn dish soap and hot water and just let it sit until i’m ready to put that in! now the sink looks a bit better than it did before!
  • do 1 load of laundry - remember how your parent(s) told you that you have to separate your clothes into warm whites, warm colors, etc etc? naw my friend - i just throw like an armful of clothes + towels into a warm wash. it’s not the whole mountain, but it’s a start! if anything, try to grab certain items you are running low on (ie: pants, undies, shirts). when i hear that it isn’t running anymore, i take those clothes and toss em into the dryer, and then just leave them there until i need to get in and grab whatever i need cuz lmao fuck folding!!! left the wet clothes in the washer too long? i just rum em through the wash again!

will my methods work for everyone? of course not - everyone has their own particular ways of getting out of their funk! find what works best for you!

does it make the whole day instantly perfect? no, not at all, but you at LEAST looked at your depression, which was telling you, “hey, you’re worthless and you should stay that way”, and you in turn said “go fuck yourself”

positives/negatives of the signs in friendships/relationships:

♈️aries: will make a rash decision and says or does the wrong thing when they’re emotional//will defend loyal friends and help people grow in life and stand up for themselves, will encourage you to push through and use change for good during hard times, will encourage you to be yourself
♉️taurus: won’t let you in on their real feelings, accidentally push the wrong button without knowing and they will demonize you forever//will be kind and affectionate and listen to you and help you work through things at your own pace, make you feel truly loved and great at calming people down and making them happy
♊️gemini: unwilling to commit to a deep emotional relationship/friendship or share their emotions//will make whatever you do a great time, really funny and intelligent and good to be around
♋️cancer: will always question your intentions and switch between sadness and happiness in your relationship/friendship at the drop of a hat//will comfort you when you’re sad, very sympathetic, will do a lot for you without asking anything in return
♌️leo: will become defensive and aggressive if you call out their flaws and may make you feel inferior to them//can help you come out of your shell and be more confident and go for your goals, always radiating warmth and happiness and energy
♍️virgo: may get upset and make you feel dumb if you can’t do everything perfectly to the way they had in mind, very hard to impress//will bring you down to earth, good at analyzing problems and creating detailed plans to fix them, can teach you to let emotions affect your decisions less
♎️libra: will not defend you if it means losing favor with many other people or having to be in confrontation//will be very friendly and accepting, will always put a positive spin on everything
♏️scorpio: will be defensive when their insecurities are called out and come back with how much better they are than you, may manipulate you to get what they want, very hard to gain trust/openness//can help you commit to your decisions and focus, charming and good at getting their way which is good when you both want the same thing, most likely to get you into a packed bar by smiling and winking, very interesting and loyal when they open up to you and trust you, good at balancing their feelings and thoughts
♐️sagittarius: may become distracted from you and infatuated with new people a lot, will be brutally honest with you in sometimes unnecessary ways//will encourage you to go with the flow and be honest with everyone and live in the moment, will teach you how to abandon what doesn’t make you happy right then, is great to have wild nights with, will give you constructive criticism and honesty
♑️capricorn: may take a long time to open up and have deep friendships/not want to have them at all, can seem like they care more about themselves than you//will help you succeed and have ambition in life, will teach you to take time and consider details in decisions, very witty and good with words
♒️aquarius: they can operate on a whim and may say irrational things or detach from people they cared about yesterday without really caring what others say//are great at coming up with new ideas and never boring, have very strong interesting opinions, will have long debates with you
♓️pisces: may ignore the bad side of things or blame it on outside sources without dealing with the issue//great with useful advice, very sensitive and understanding, will understand when you’re upset almost instinctively and attempt to help you