things you can trade for a man

TRADING SUGAR CANE AND RUM AND ALL THE THINGS HE CAN’T AFFORD *slides under a table* sCAMMING *throws table* FOR EVERY BOOK HE CAN GET HIS HANDS ON *rips off tables leg* pLANNING *smashes window* FOR THE FUTURE SEE HIM NOW AS HE STANDS ON THE BOW OF A SHIP *soars through window* HEADING FOR A NEW LAND!! *sticks the landing* IN NEW YORK YOU CAN BE A NEW MAN *jumps onto moving car* IN NEW YORK YOU CAN BEEEEE A NEWW MAAAAN *jumps from car to car* IN NEW YORK YOU CAAN BE A NEW MAAAN *flies over car* IN NEW YORK YOU CAN BE AA NEEWW MAAAN *backflips* IN NEEEWWW YOOORRKK !!! *rips off shirt* JSUT YOUUUW AAAIITT *climbs building* ALEXANDER HAMILTON! ALEXANDER HAMILTON! *swings off pipe* WE ARE WAitING IN THE WINGS FOR YoOOoOOu! *flings body onto the roof* YOU COULD NEVER BACK DOWN *jumps onto next roof* YOU NEVER LEARNED TO TAKE YOUR *jumps off* TIIIIIIIIIImMMEE!!! *lands* ALEXANDER HAMILTON! *waves american flag* WHEN AMERICA SINGS FOR YOOOOU!! *grabs megaphone* WILL THEY KNOW WHAT YOU OVERCAME?!? *throws money around* WILL THEY KNOW YOU REWROTE THE GAAAaAaMEE?! *lunges at people with the flag* THE WOoOORRLD WILL NEVEeER BEEE THE SAMEEE OHHHOHOHHH *jumps onto pool floatie* THE SHIP IS IN THE HARBOR NOW *flips pool over* SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT HIM!! *climbs tree* ANOTHER IMMIGRANT COMIN UP FROM THE BOTTOM *pulls out prop chest* HIS ENEMIES DESTROYED HIS REP AMERICA FORGOT HIM *grabs baguette* WE FOUGHT WITH HIM! *draws freckles on face* ME? I DIED FOR HIM *chops down tree* ME? I TRUSTED HIM *raises voice* ME? I LOVED HIM! *clutches chest* and me? *rips out beating heart* IM THE DAMN FOOL THAT SHOT HIM 

Don't Kick The Exposition Cat

“What’s the setup of this one?”

“You’re from a small fishing village on a cold island. The winter’s harsh and you’ve all been sent south to find people to trade with or food”

“Can we be evil?”

“Uh… sure”

This was a mistake. I thought they’d make devious choices, or betray allies a few sessions in. What they did was kill the first man they met for being annoying. That NPC was a harmless fisherman who was going to give them the main plot thread. These things happen, of course, so I gave them something I thought would make them pay attention: a talking cat. Naturally, they killed the cat. The only thing they didn’t try to kill was a literal God appearing in a cloud, because this was the only way to get them to have a conversation without turning it into a combat encounter.

archiveofourown.org
Wreathed in Smoke, Wound in Heather (Chapter 9/?)
by seimaisin and blindvogel
By Organization for Transformative Works

A Perc’ahlia Beauty and the Beast AU.

Everyone knows a beast lives at Whitestone Castle, a beast that has stolen souls from the town for many, many years. Should the beast claim one of yours, they say, you take the compensation left on your doorstep and thank the gods it wasn’t you instead.

When her brother runs afoul of the castle’s monster, Vex'ahlia does the unthinkable and trades her soul for his. The bargain introduces her to the beast, and to the man still living inside of the monster. Now a prisoner at Whitestone Castle, Vex must find a way to stay alive, and perhaps a way to save those trapped with her - even the beast himself.

*

Vex receives a gift, and finds out that sometimes, you can see things better in the dark.

What I have learned from Seventeen.

S.Coups: Just because you’re the oldest doesn’t mean you can’t be the cutest~

Jeonghan: Being pretty gets you everything.

Joshua: Pin drops man~ also knowing every language helps confuse others.

Jun: Being fabulous is the only important thing in this cold, cold world.

Hoshi: Be cute and sexy at the same time, trust me it confuses everyone.

Wonwoo: Be emo, be cute, be anything you want because in the end you are shipped with everyone anyways~

Woozi: Looking like an adorable fairy helps you get away with psychotic tendencies…

DK: Be happy! Be stupid! Be everyone’s dandelion! life is so much better when you can smile through anything!

Mingyu: being a jack of all trades makes you very trustworthy (And ship-able)

Minghao: Be cute but also make sure everyone knows you could kill them (#Thughao)

Seungkwan: If being sassy is your calling… own it.

Vernon: If you struggle to write lyrics, just put together some random English words.

Dino: Micheal Jackson is not dead. He is now Micheal Chanson.

anonymous asked:

What I would do to have a Star Wars movie where Vader is alone somewhere private and lets his guard down and does some typical Anakin things, like burying his hands in his cape or making himself smaller.

yyyyeeeessssss

c’mon Filioni, how about you do this with your Vader?? Instead of showing him being Skywalker Extra™ all standing on a TIE fighter in the dark with mist surrounding him and being PUMPED TO BE A SITH LORD, SO PUMPED, HOLD MY BEER PUMPED. 

Oh man, tho, can you imagine the first few years when he was put into the suit and he can’t even do something like slump in it? he can’t even make himself smaller anymore, the suit of nightmares does not allow for his shoulders to slump or his artificial spine to curl. There’s also no silencing that breathing apparatus so he can’t even fade into the background like he used to be able to. Like, the closest we see to that Vader is, ironically, in Rogue One when he turns off his suit for a hot five seconds before it kicks back on and he starts slaughtering those rebels. 

And that cape doesn’t even have enough length on it it do anything like bury his hands in it, it’s there purely for the aesthetic. 

Palpatine’s a dick.

anonymous asked:

My name is Alexander Hamilton. And there's a million things I haven't done just you wait just you wait when he was ten his father split full of it debt ridden two years find Alex and his mother half dead sittin in their own sick Alex got better but his mother went quick moved in with a cousin the cousin commuted suicide left him with nothin but ruined pride somethin new inside a voice sayin Alex you gotta fend for yourself he started retreatin and readin every book on the shelf

THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NOTHING LEFT TO DO FOR SOMEONE LESS ASTUTE HE WOULDA BEEN DEAD OR DESTITUTE WITHOUT A CENT OF RESTITUTION STARTED WORKIN CLERKIN FOR HIS LATE MOTHER’S LANDLORD TRADING SUGAR CANE AND RUM AND ALL THE THINGS HE CAN’T AFFORD SCAMMIN FOR EVERY BOOK HE CAN GET HIS HANDS ON PLANNIN FOR THE FUTURE SEE HIM NOW AS HE STANDS ON THE BOW OF A SHIP HEADED FOR A NEW LAND

IN NEW YORK YOU CAN BE A NEW MAN

[Some fun things about FE!Barry

He’s a jack of all trades, master of none. Being a young man in a small town meant you were worked to the bone. Anything you need a hand with around camp, Barry’s probably done at least once in his life. His armor when he arrived at camp was nothing more than self sewn leathers (probably with a cooking pot on his head). He can cook any common Pokemon, but prefers things he has to pluck rather than skin. He’s alright at carpentry work, but not so much at smith work. He hates farm work, though. Boring. 0/10.

The one thing Barry hasn’t learned how to do is start a fire, because..you know…. fire monkey.

The Monferno at his side was a baby shower present from his grandfather on his mother’s side (who he’s never met). It’s tradition to give an egg to an expecting couple in order for that Pokemon to protect the child. The Cimchar egg cost him an arm an a leg, but after meeting Palmer (and not liking him very much), he figured the boy would end up like his father, and an energetic monkey like that would give Mary some peace when they played together. It did not.

Chunky has started two town fires. No extensive damage was done and there were no casualties, but Barry was grounded for months. 

Barry had a few friends in his home village, but no real good friend besides his Monferno. Barry was a good kid to have on teams when you played games like tag or war, but in terms of just hanging out, no one could really stand him.

He liked to hang around the town’s barracks (home to a whopping four guards!) and train with his father and his cohorts. To keep them on their toes, Palmer encouraged Barry to sneak up behind people on guard duty and wack them with a wooden sword to make sure they deflected. Barry got a hit in 36% of the time. 

Ya know Sellbots are probably the doucheiest cogs. They don’t wear ties, they have their collars popped with those little puffy neck scarf things and Sellbots is the type with the most cogs with giant fake smiles. Their the ones with the fake laughs to get a little to chummy with you.

Lawbots on the other hand are the most pretentious. They wear bowties, they went to Law School they have the most clean, crisp HQ, you can see your face in the floor. They’re probably all high and mighty bragging all hauntingly about their accomplishment, like what is your fancy expensive degree in Reginold?

Bossbots are then the most lazy cog type. Like Ron Swanson they excel in the field of getting as little done as possible, they’d just rather be golfing. They are that man with that giant pot belly that can’t get out of a chair without grunting

Cashbots are Mr. Krabs basically. You may thing Sellbot HQ is the grossest HQ but Cashbots are the grubbiest bots. They may participate in High Finance and Trade Stocks but they probably spit when they talk too.

Pharaoh for a day

What do you do when you have nothing to do? Maybe you play a game, or read, or take a walk… Atem thought about what he could do, nothing much came to mind, then he spotted his priest Seth, and he had a very bad idea.

“Priest Seth. Want to do something besides read scrolls today?” He asked boredly, but stared up at the other with a look of mischief. “Want to trade jobs for a day? Think of all the things you could do in a day… All the people you could get back at.” Sure they was a really bad idea but who says it can’t be amusing? He was slightly curious as to what the prideful man would do if he had power like that. He wasn’t even sure what Seth really did, besides lead the army and sometimes seal away ka’s.

@melanch0li-a
2

MY half of a trade with @verefex!! Genos doesn’t take well to villains of any sort~ ohhhh man there’s so many good things about genos and what his innards are like, maybe they get all glowy and superheated like the rest of him can? I really hope you like it!!

(check out her half of the trade I LOVE IT)

book starters [5] ;

                [ THE COMPLETE SHORTER FICTION OF  S E N T E N C E  M E M E ]
                                         ( VIRGINIA WOOLF. )

  1. “But we shall be late for breakfast!”
  2. “You needn’t think I want your company.”
  3. “Oh there you are, at last!”
  4. “Remember, this can’t go on forever.”
  5. “Try and be a little less selfish.”
  6. “Oh, he is not a bad little man, but he does not excite me.” 
  7. “Mark time and keep up appearances.”
  8. “It might be a way out, at any rate.”
  9. “After all, you know, the human soul is the thing.”
  10. “I don’t see why you shan’t do as you will.”
  11. “Don’t you see what a fool I feel?”
  12. “Yours is such a wonderful life, it is so strange to me.”
  13. “That’s my trade.”
  14. “It should be for love and all the rest of it.”
  15. “I should burn, shoot, jump out of the window; at least do something!”
  16. “We might have been something. Something better. Isn’t it pathetic?”
  17. “This our life and we have to make the best out of it.”
  18. “I must really go.”
  19. “So I shall never meet her shadow anymore.”
  20. “Still, it is not for me to complain.”
  21. “Lets put the whole question of wrong or right, black or white behind us.”
  22. “I always burn mine — “
  23. “I should be immensely interested but I must not take up your time.”
  24. “Stop a moment, we are not done yet.”
  25. “I find you too useful for that.”
  26. “I am bewitched. I daresay you have the same feeling yourself.”
  27. “I like beginning at the beginning.”
  28. “Let them in, let them in!”
  29. “We are starving!”
  30. “All so casual, all so haphazard..”
  31. “Let us breathe in the fire dust.”
  32. “Admit, you like the discontented people best.”
  33. “It is our badge of superiority; our claim for preferment.”
  34. “Perhaps silence is better. Let us try it.”
  35. “We never give sufficient thanks for the entertainment that is silence.”
  36. “An odd thing it is.”
  37. “Lazy and indifferent — Nothing else.”
  38. “Its no good — not a bit of good.”
  39. “The King looked cold.”
  40. “Despair. I mean hope. What do I mean?”
  41. “I would trust you with my heart.”
  42. “This is utterly and intolerably damnable.”
  43. “Indeed how could one feel surprise, if lying in bed, they could not close their eyes?”
  44. “So impossible to keep you quiet.”
  45. “Nothing matters to you – nothing changes you.”
  46. “Is it ‘falsely melancholy,’ as they say?”
  47. “What a beautiful night.”
  48. “I am afraid I am one of those very ordinary people who love their kind.”
  49. “It is a picture of death — And a very beautiful picture at it.”
  50. “My heart goes out to you. But you break, you pass, you go.”

anonymous asked:

If you were given the choice of giving up something (not someone) extremely valuable in your life for anything in the world to happen would you give said thing up? -And if yes, what would you give up and what for?

I AM A VERY SIMPLE PERSON, MAN! All I want is the love and support from my friends and family, financial stability, a college degree, a nice roof over my head, and for Tintin to call me darling, but there is nothing that I have that can give me all of the above in a fair trade.

Tools of the Halo Trade

Oooooh man I should have done this ages ago. Basically a lot of people now have asked me what things I use to make my armour so here’s a giant post about just that. The way I build has changed so much in just under a year so it’ll probably change more as I find more and better materials…here is the jist for now.

Just standard scissors and stanley knife for cutting the foam. The Stanley Knife I use is great! It’s got a lot of blades that you can use pliers to snap the blades off and yay it’s sharp all over again.

This is a glue gun. You either use this or contact adhesive but contact adhesive, while neater, takes longer and I have to use it in the garage and my face got quite bad rashes when I use it so that’s out. Also it’s only pro is neater seams but I can cover those up with colour and wearing on the armour anyway so shrugs. This is a large one. Hotter glue so strong seams on big armour pieces. Takes big glue sticks. More expensive it was around like 30 quid I believe but v v important and this one you can change from low to high which is snazzy.

Small very cute glue gun. Used for tabs on pepakura or tricky smaller seams. Like 5 quid off amazon with 100 glue sticks coming with it. Had or like a year and still working fine.

These are the cool foam brushes I use. Got them from the America Amazon just becasue I was doing a giant shop from there. Around like 50 for a handful of quid, really quite good and you can wash them out to be used all over again. If you get to the paint before it dries first that is!


This is the foam I use. It’s around 8 ish mm which I like a lot. From ebay. Holla if you need the link for it I can get that for you just don’t have good internet today.

Right onto sealing!

Heat guns aren’t just used for shaping materials like foam and worbla, it also seals eva foam and gets rid of those bad air bubbles in the surface. 

You can see the difference here between non sealed and sealed foam. It can take a lot of heat so don’t be worried about that!

Next goes down a layer of pva glue just so the plastidip has somewhere to go onto. Very cheap in general. And I’ve had this in the cupboard since I was a smol child so.

Right Plastidip. Again ask if you need the link. I do NOT get one that is a spray paint. You waste most of it if you spray it. So I prefer it in the dip can. Just slather i on with a normal paintbrush. It will come out with dips and bumps and not a smooth surfacebut once it’s dried and settled down and then also painted over it’s perfect. Makes the piece very flexible and tough so perfect for halo armour that you move in a lot like I do.

This is Mod Podge! I used to use this in place of plastidip but it wasn’t that touch and cracked when bent. The foam around thigh pieces especially if you have chunky thighslike me would start tearing as I walked so that was bad. I still use this stuff though. Once the plastidip has dried it’s sort of sticky so getting a nice coat of paint on it is hard. Just use a foam brush because they’re cheap and honestly wonderful to smooth one layer on and ta da! It goes from sticky to a lovely smooth surface. It also acts as a primer so now you’re free to do your painting straight off the bat!

To show you the finished product, here’s a shoulder piece that I did with this method. Air bubbles sealed in with the heat gun, bumps from the hot glue along the seams mainly covered from the plastidip and a nice smooth surface for the paint to take to. I also really like this autumn like colour scheme for Spartan Coco :3

Hope this helps!!

4

Few months ago I played black desert with friends! I just forgot to put some shots here so xDD
(The first picture is my character after I purchase the pearls to get new hair and piercing ^p^)
I like the character creation part mostly lol although I don’t like the classes are binding with the character….like the summoner is a little girl not for you to create a guy or an old man xD
because it is binding so the face can’t be change too much ( if you just want to make it ugly is so easy anyway lol)
To me, it is good enough to make my own favourite faceeee!
Those days in black desert is fully farming xDDD (there are only marketplace you can sells things, you can’t trade things with others lol )like logging, fishing, mining and sell what you get to earn money!
Everyday we login is find different places to get better stone 0_0+
Yea we almost forgot to do any quest but earning money xDD

The finished goofy mutant man-spider thing! This guy stays in the dark and trades food with you for some blood-stained stuff he “found lying around here”. He is proooobably safe to trade with, what could possibly go wrong?

I recorded a time lapse of drawing this guy, you can watch it below here:


Want to catch my next live stream? Check out my twitch here. I should be streaming some more by the time this post goes live tonight.

youtube

“I’ll give you fish / I’ll give you candy”

—b-52’s “Give Me Back My Man”. The best. Whenever I hear this line, I sort of conflate them together, and think “I’ll give you fish candy”, i.e. a bag of Swedish Fish.

–Jessica H.

Trading Favors (Closed AU)

@the-legit-alois

The crime boss sat in his chair looking over important things when one of his goons came in telling him a debtor wanted to talk to him. He allowed it. The man owed him a substantial amount of money and was having problems coming up with it.

“Look either you pay me back in the next month or I’m gonna have to kill you and then sell your parts.” 

“I have a son! Can’t you take him and we’ll be even?” Sebastian’s face twisted into disgust.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? First off that’s your kid, second you’re the one who owes me money not him, third seriously you’re gonna give him to a known criminal knowing I’m going to do something bad to him the fuck is this the middle ages?…Now you’re insulting me to. I should kill you right now. But it’s your lucky fucking day. I need a new errand boy and if he works for me then I’ll let that pay off your debt. But it’s gotta be his choice. I ain’t about forcing people to do shit they don’t wanna do.” Everyone worked for him because they wanted to they weren’t forced.

Day eight! Happy Reading!

The Scent of Snow (One Shot | 1,597 | General)

“I’m in love with how you smell. I love it when it blends with my scent. I’m in love with you, Stiles. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me since Scott got bit, and I wouldn’t trade you for anything.”

Peppermint Oil (One Shot | 1,053 | General)

Derek’s cooked for him before, and to be honest, he’s really not all that bad, but Derek’s not the kind of person to do anything by the book. Sure, he can make a mean spaghetti, but something tells Stiles that he’s not entirely sure how to make hot cocoa, because from what he can see, the older man just dropped half a chocolate bar into a pot of boiling water and hoped for the best.

Swallow and Chew (One Shot | 5,884 | Explicit)

‘Tis the season for overeating and belly rubs.

the march of winter kings in californian snow (One Shot | 3,068 | General)

“You’re way too old to be scaring me, wolfman,” he mumbles, arms snaking upward to wrap around Derek’s neck. Stiles is smirking.

Derek just laughs. “And you’re far past the age where it’s acceptable to run out in the middle of winter to play in the snow.” And he leans in to kiss Stiles’ forehead, to add, “Doesn’t mean you aren’t cute when you do it. Just saying, is all.”

“I’m not cute,” is the only rather indignant reply.

Getting into the Christmas Spirit (One Shot | 2,619 | Explicit)

Derek is not all that into Christmas, especially when the whole pack is there in his face about it. Stiles makes it all better with his special delivery.

It’s a Christmas Thing (One Shot | 7,575 | Not Rated)

Okay, Stiles knows that he’s part of the pack. He does. He is. It just… doesn’t feel like it at the moment. But it’s Christmas, so he sucks it up and proceeds to drown his feelings in sugar cookies. Or, five times Stiles got kissed under the mistletoe, and one time where it actually mattered.

Pip really didn’t like the west. It was too hot for her regular armor, not enough places to duck into, and too many unfriendly people. And worst of all, no Nuka. Nothing but the liquid sugar, Sunset. She carried around a few bottles with her to keep her homesickness at bay and to satisfy the Nuka beast in her stomach. She heard of a way to make home brewed cola out here with a few local plants. Too bad she wasn’t very good at following cookbooks. One time she tried to make a shepherds pie with pork and beans and Blamo Mac in cheese and forgot to poke a hole in the top of the can. Pow!

Things weren’t all bad. At least she was coming up to a small three house village. Surely they could be up for some trading? She covered her eyes and looked to the closest man. “Hey you! What’s the name of this town?”