things we remember forever

I have found that memories always make us sad, even happy ones. Those perhaps most of all. Because in remembering, we are thinking of things that are gone forever. And I think that’s how I feel about you, because you also are gone forever.
—  j.f // excerpts of stories I will never write #5
The Story of How I Met Nick Grimshaw & Lived to Tell the Tale

OH GOD. I really want to remember this, so here goes my account of How I Met Nick Grimshaw & Lived to Tell the Tale.

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Tragedy (written by bombasscas)

Lyrics:

The water is shallow
But still I can’t breathe
The last thing I wanted
Was for you to leave

But now that you’ve left me
It’s easy to see
That what you had wanted
Could never be me

The last thing I remember
Was asking you to stay
We wouldn’t last forever
Or even for a day

Was it worth the mess we made
Every single day
Reaching for the other instead
Of pushing them away

The flowers still bloom
Whether you’re here or not
You picked them away
And you left me distraught

I thought you were the stars
And I trusted you to catch me
I was falling for you so hard
But the ground is dark and lonely

The ghost of you will haunt me
Till I take my last breath
Even then you will find me
There’s no freedom in death

The last thing I remember
Was asking you to stay
We didn’t last forever
Or even for a day

TVD-6x17- How I Met Your Mother

No, that’s not a reference to the show. It’s a reference to the Taking Back Sunday song. And it just seemed fitting you know? Considering. I don’t know what’s with me and naming my posts after song titles lately. Maybe, its because that’s what they have been doing with their episodes. Anyways, the episode was absolute perfection. It was fun, dark, light, suspenseful, creepy as hell. Hot. And just plain beautiful. And it was the perfect way to pull us out of that Delena lull we have been in. It was great and refreshing to see them really be together without so much angst between them. And I just loved how while Stefan and Caroline were tapping into the darkest and more monstrous parts of themselves…Damon and Elena were tapping into the most human experience they can get…Facing Stefan and Damon’s mother. The women they gave them life.

“You know. I’d actually like my child to grow up with a father.” - Alaric
“It granted a cowardly father. Probably played catch and run from the ball, going fishing; flee from fish.” - Enzo
“I have weapons in my apartment.” - Alaric

So, I feel like I haven’t talked about these too in forever. I liked their scenes together. It reminded me of Damon and Alaric way back when. I love how Enzo played the coward card. I don’t know why I thought that was so funny. And I don’t know why I love that whatever they were set out to do just failed miserably. Because it just shows that the man with the plan has always been Damon. Alaric took out a house full of vampires with Damon and were able save Stefan. But Alaric and Enzo can’t get passed the stairwell without almost being blown up by one vampire with his humanity shut off. And then needed another to protect them. I laugh in the best way possible.

“Please. Believe me, I’ve changed.” - Kai
“I know. And so have I.” - Bonnie

I knew it. I knew that was Damon’s plan for Bonnie. I just knew it. They were going to leave him there. And as much I love Kai, and his personality complex. He deserves it. But of course, I feel bad for him. Because he genuinely was helping them. And he is too cute not to feel bad for. The way he was sticking his tongue out to catch the snow. Like a 6 year old. I can’t. I hope he gets out. In fact, I think he will. He is the leader of the Gemini Coven after all. Anyways, I’m pretty sure we haven’t seen the last of him or that creepy vampire dollhouse.

“This is seriously about revenge?”
“Yes. It is.”
“Like you, I’m prone to doing bad things when my humanity is off. But unlike you, I don’t have an elaborate system to keep me in check.”
“Well, that’s not my problem.”
“Oh, I’m making it your problem.” - Steroline

Okay, so Stefan isn’t faking it. I have no idea where this is going. But I know that once they turn it back on again. It most likely will cause some problems with their relationship. Or maybe it won’t. Maybe, them shutting if off together is exactly what they needed to propel their relationship forward. Because I think that is what the writers intended to do. Sort of like the same intentions the writers had for the sire bond. I don’t know. But its interesting to see this ship have it all shut off. I kind of find it ironic because Stefan and Caroline are suppose to be this light ship. These goodie two shoe vampires that can’t possible do any wrong. That keep each other in check. But that’s all just stripped away. And they start out their “romantic” relationship with absolute zero emotion involved. I find it ironic considering Damon and Elena were given so much crap about only being sex. Which wasn’t true at all. But it can legit be said about Stefan and Caroline right now. I mean, I have nothing against it. I just find it all kind of humorous. I’m sorry guys, I’m just writing things again. Steroline literally does nothing for me.

“Look, I know she isn’t the women you remember but give her so time.”
“You’re lucky you’re so adorable ‘cuz your eternal optimism is super annoying.”
“Well, I happen to know from experience that it’s never a waste of time to look for the good in people.”
“This women left her kids to be a den mother to a family of vampires. I think we’re going to be looking for quite a while.”
“Well, then it’s a good thing we have forever.” -Delena

This was everything. It’s amazes me how well-written Damon and Elena are. Because, sure, they are talking about giving his mother some time. But Elena knows what she said. So does Damon. It’s a good thing we have forever. She may not remember promising each other a forever together in the rain. But she still very much feels it. How much she loves him. How she wants that to last forever. It’s beautiful to see how despite not having these memories, those feelings that she had for him before the compulsion. That love is very much still present. This was her way of telling him that. And Damon’s face when she says it is priceless. Because he knows what she just said too. The way he looks at her says it all. How he is almost thrown aback by it. But then realizes that he shouldn’t be so surprised. She’s still that girl that wanted him to promise her forever. She’s still that same girl she was that summer night in the rain. 

The level of cute Elena was this episode was too much to handle. From the way she looks at Kai and jokingly asks if her jacket was appropriate attire for 1903. To the Hell-yeah-you-bet-your-ass-im-going reaction towards Damon. I love the way she doesn’t even hesitate about going. She was like “Come on bb, take my hand, we got this world traveling thing down.” From the way she takes so much interest in every detail of Damon’s past (down to how a lamp works with no electricity) to the way she so eagerly wants him to reconnect with his mother. Everything about Elena was so damn cute girlfriend!Elena. She even tells Damon to look at the sky and asks him if that was the aurora borealis. Like how more baby girl girlfriend can you get? And I love love love that she’s pushing Damon to give his mother a chance. The damn parallel between what Elena did with Damon to what she is asking Damon to do for his mother. Because it’s the same damn thing. Damon wasn’t the man she remembered. The man she had in her head was this cold hearted murderous monster who killed her brother right in front of her. But she took the time to see the good in him. Not just once. Twice. She had everything good about him erased from her mind. And she still allowed herself to see the good in him once again. She just wants Damon to do the same. For Damon however, its slightly the opposite. His whole life he thought that his mother was dead. Taken for him too soon by a deadly disease. Only to find out more than a century later that, that wasn’t what happened at all. That she had turned into a vampire and left them. Not only that, but that she was a ripper that was put in a prison world because of the amount of innocent lives she took. Which isn’t how he remembered her in the slightest. He loved her. She was his world. So, what Damon has to do….what Elena is asking him to do, is find that part of her that he does remember. The same way that Elena found that part of him that she doesn’t

And Damon. God, Damon was gold this episode too. The way he is so open with Elena about his past and his mother. But how he tries to hide he desire to reconnect with his mother by convincing her that his mother is gone. Just a means to an end. A tool to get Stefan back. I love how in character that is for him. How his anger and resentment towards his mother just shows how much he loves her. How much he loved her back then. How much he still loves her even now. Because he is so hurt over the idea that his mother left him. It hurts him that she even considered choosing a group of vampires over her own sons. He shows that through how angry he gets.  And even though she had a legitimate reason for leaving them. It hurts him that she “never thought about stopping by to clear things up”. Even though she was most likely on her way to them before she was trapped there. Its still hurts him that she ever left them in the first place. And you can tell that what she says about why she left them affected him just by looking at his face while she is saying it. And by how he tries to mask that with indifference. “Good to know”. But the truth is he does care. And he gets it. He knows how hard it can be to resist tearing into someone’s throat, no matter how much you love them. He’s experienced that first hand. He’s experienced it through others as well. Especially at the beginning. Especially for vampires like her and Stefan. Rippers. But Damon is Damon, you know? His not one to wear his heart on his sleeve. So, he gives her a place to sleep and distances himself. The way he always does at first with everyone he cares about. 

“The cure…the cure to vamprism.” 
“I knew you were planning on getting it yourself. You had the whole route mapped down to the kilometer.”
“Why are you giving me this?”
“Because my mom’s surprisingly happy as a vampire. Because I have full faith that we’ll get Caroline back the old-fashioned way. But mostly because I knew that you wanted it for Elena.”
“What if I don’t want it for her anymore?”
That’s none of my business. I’m just finishing what you started. You can give it to her or not. It’s up to you.”  - The Damn Cure

Okay, so they went there. They opened the damn door to the cure storyline again. I was really hoping they wouldn’t. Logically, it makes no sense that Bonnie was able to get it. Let alone would waste her time getting it. But let’s not dwell. Since they did open that door again. Let’s dwell on the possibilities this storyline can have. Like the fact that the way they played this scene out says so much. They put the cure in Damon hand’s and gave him the power to do what he wants with it. Because what’s stopping Bonnie from just giving Elena the cure herself? But the writers don’t have her do that. The writers have her give it to Damon. At a time where things are going great for him with Elena. At a moment where she just finished telling him that they have forever. Making the decision to give her the cure more difficult for him. Which if he does, makes it once again extremely selfless. And the fact that Elena doesn’t remember all the selfless things he has done for her. In her eyes, it would be the most selfless she has ever seen him. And would make the perfect parallel to when he gave her the necklace. The sole memory that triggered all her other memories of ever loving him away. So, I think the cure is what is going to give Damon the opportunity to be that selfless again. And that selflessness is what will trigger all her memories to come back. Of course, this is all just speculation. But I have been saying that the parallel to her birthday is what will trigger all her memories back since the beginning. And I think that’s where this cure storyline is leading. I could be wrong but it’s what makes the most sense to me. And I understand now why its taking so long for Elena to get her memories back. It’s because they needed the cure to do it.  I also noticed that they have been using a certain word a lot lately. Trigger. Emotional trigger. This line in 6x07 keeps popping up in my head “I know there is nothing we can do about the compulsion but maybe if we unwind the memories backwards…something might trigger something and maybe they’ll all come back. Right?” So, I think the cure is Elena’s trigger. Or rather Damon’s selflessness is. What also has me thinking this is the fact that Bonnie giving Damon the cure was what ended the episode. They made it the cliffhanger of this entire episode. Which makes whatever he chooses to do with it very significant. Do I think Elena will take it? No. Why would she? She is extremely content with her life as a vampire. And she sure as shit knows that Damon is too. So, she will know what Damon giving her the cure means for him. And she will see that as the most selfless he has ever been. Which is what will help her retrieve all her memories back and she won’t want to take it, solely because she wants to spent forever with him and nothing else. 

“We’re gonna live forever joined securely at the hip…

            …Then we shall rest inside each other like the world is gonna end”