things we don't want to accept

The Signs As Jack Handey Quotes
  • Aries: "After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?""
  • Taurus: “The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!”
  • Gemini: “Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.”
  • Cancer: “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”
  • Leo: "I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it."
  • Virgo: "Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I "swarm about" to protect my nest of chocolate eggs."
  • Libra: “I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”
  • Scorpio: "The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.""
  • Sagittarius: "You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress."
  • Capricorn: "I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around."
  • Aquarius: “We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”
  • Pisces: "Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to save our national forests."
  • *The sacrifice being demanded is Magnus' memories of Governor Callen*
  • Magnus: You know what, here's what I'm gonna say. Merle, Taako?
  • Taako: Yeah?
  • Magnus: Don't try to remind me of it. But if in your journeys you ever meet a slimy asshole named Governor Callen, kill him on sight. Don't talk to him, don't let him talk to you, kill him. And tell him it's for Julia. That's the one thing I want you to say to his face before you kill him. "This is for Julia" and then end him then and there.
  • Taako: And then loot him for Julia!
  • Magnus: You do whatever the fuck you want after that.
  • Merle: Well listen, we kill most of the people we come into contact with anyway so-
  • Taako: Yeah, statistically speaking we were probably gonna kill him anyway!
  • Merle: Deal made!
  • Taako: Yeah, deal confirmed!
  • Magnus: Accepted.

anonymous asked:

hey, I was wondering if you could give me some advice? I'm a bi girl. My gf has always been mildly biphobic but it was just like jokes and side comments so I preferred to ignore it. The thing is we had a fight on lesbian visibility day because she doesn't understand that I don't identify as a lesbian. She got all: "you hate lesbians" (???), "if you don't want to use that label is just so you can eventually go back to men"... It was fcked up. I love her but I don't think I can get over this...

if she doesn’t accept you for who you are, this relationship is already built on notions that aren’t true and if you can’t be yourself around your significant other this person only likes a part of you. i can’t imagine my girlfriend calling me fake. hell, she’s more likely to tell me to stop erasing myself than I even am. your significant other should champion you for who you are. not who they want you to be. 💖💜💙

soul mate au where the most important thing your soul mate will ever say to you is written on your wrist

Yeah sure we can go for the obvious like “I love you” or “I will miss you” but what about real weird stuff like “Please accept the change, sir” or “Please play on, your music is lovely”. Then there is the straight up nasty stuff like “I promise I won’t kill you”

Feel free to add on

anonymous asked:

If you don't accept submissions then why do you have submissions open?

In case people want to submit links or images to us, or simply have more to say than the askbox will allow! There’s plenty of reasons to use the submit box than submitting shitpost ideas - and most of those kind of messages we usually get through the askbox anyway. Please don’t send us shitposts, we like to post things that come entirely from us here for our own reasons, and we simply will not post them, sorry.

But this reminds me, actually. Dear followers, you might have noticed that we’ve recently been reblogging political or donation posts, in an effort to use our not-insignificant amount of followers to do some good in the real world. If any of you see a post or cause that you think deserves some attention, can you send a link our way? We only see so many of these posts, and it would be really helpful if some of you guys could send us some if you see them. Thanks!

verdigrisvagabond  asked:

I want the corn, but I also want the corn to let me leave once I can breathe again, so I can go out and Fix This, and usually things that go into the corn don't come out. Can I negotiate an exception? (The corn following me into battle would also be acceptable, but I don't want to force the corn to do anything it doesn't want to. Plus, other folks might need it to stay where it is.)

THIS IS NOT A REQUEST FOR ADMISSION; NORMALLY WE WOULD LEAVE ITS ANSWER TO THE FIRST BIRTHDAY GIRL, WHO IS HALLOWED AND HOLLOWED AND DOES NOT LIKE US TO SPEAK TO THINGS OTHER THAN REQUESTS.  BUT WE FEEL THAT, IN THIS TIME, IT IS IMPORTANT FOR US TO ANSWER.

WE HAVE GONE TO THE CORN.  WE HAVE TOLD IT OF THE WORLD’S TRIALS.  WE HAVE ASKED WHAT IT WOULD HAVE US DO.

THE CORN SAYS, COME.

THE CORN SAYS, THOSE WHO ENTER ME FOR SUCCOR NOW, WHEN THE WORLD IS BURNING WITHOUT FLAME, WILL BE ALLOWED TO LEAVE ME SAFELY, FOR I AM ONLY A GOOD DANGER WHEN I AM ALLOWED TO BE THE TINGLE DOWN THE SPINE AND THE TREMBLE IN THE REACHING HAND.  I AM A MONSTER OF SHADOWS AND SPOOKY STORIES.

THERE ARE GREATER MONSTERS HERE.

THE CORN SAYS, YOU WILL BE SAFE WITHIN ME UNTIL THIS DANGER DIES, AS ALL DANGERS DO, UPON THE SWORD OF ITS OWN INDIFFERENCE; UNTIL IT HAS BEEN SWEPT AWAY BY SOMETHING BETTER.  COME TO ME.  COME TO ME THROUGH THE BIRTHDAY OR THROUGH YOUR OWN ENDEAVOR, AND BE SAFE IN A PLACE THAT WILL NEVER BE HOME, THAT WILL NEVER LOVE YOU, BUT WHICH WILL NOT LET YOU COME TO HARM.

YOUR ENEMY IS MINE OWN.  I WILL DEFEND YOU.

THE CORN SAYS, I WILL PROTECT MY OWN.

WE HOPE THIS HAS HELPED YOU.  WE HOPE YOU WILL BE WELL.

YOU WILL BE WELCOME.

okay, but now I’m considering it

Snape was a master at Potions, and he was clearly superior to whoever wrote the textbook

it’s said in the books that he always taught his own variations to the students, and never had them buy books

it was just kind of accepted as how it was

but he never claimed credit for that

he could have. he could have written his own textbooks, and revolutionized potions throughout the world. he could have published that knowledge. but I imagine that probably wouldn’t have been a valid course of action for him, given that it would draw attention to himself, and when you’re a double agent, attention isn’t a good thing, I doubt he was focusing much on potions when he was working for Voldemort, because that’s just not the priority, and the middle of a war isn’t really the time to publish a potions textbook and after that, I think it was again the attention thing

but why didn’t he claim those as his own in class, why didn’t he make a big deal of that, I mean he was arrogant, we seem him being arrogant. everyone knows that. he puts on a good show of an ego, to cover up his lack of self-confidence. so why not claim those potions as his own, to make his genius known

as much of an asshole as Snape was (and while I accept a lot of his actions and tend to believe the best of him in some situations, the fact remains that he did torture Neville and was perfectly willing to kill his pet in front of him, and that is not acceptable behavior, and even though his hatred for Neville makes sense, we know that Neville was not the only one he tortured), he was a fucking genius at potions and at generally creating new magic, spells too

I kind of want an AU where someone saw that potential in him early on, and pushed him to act on it, giving him a course other than the one he took

an important summary
  • Yen Sid: so this is the thing you two need to do in order to pass this exam and become masters
  • Riku: *does the thing*
  • Sora: *doesn't do the thing*
  • Yen Sid: Riku you pass, Sora you fail
  • Sora: aight cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • fandom: WHAT WHY DID SORA FAIL?? THAT MAKES ZERO SENSE?? THERE WAS NO LEGIT REASON?? PLOT HOLE??
  • Yen Sid: also I'm going to spell it out again here in 0.2 and remind you that you failed because you didn't get the ability that I specifically said you needed in order to pass. plus you lost all your powers and are no longer at the master level anyway, and you were nearly overcome by darkness which is another thing that tends to screw one's chance at passing, so I'm sure I don't need to explain again why you can't have the master title, right
  • Sora: aight cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • fandom: PLOT HOLE!!

Tfw u try to convince urself ur feeling nostalgic instead of just sad because you miss the past but not in a bittersweet way, just in an angry, betrayed way because it will never go back and you have no control and it only gets worse from here

I am so fucking tired of smartphones/social media and overall laziness being attributed as the reasons millennials do things differently from the previous generations.

I was listening to Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me on NPR the other day, and they mentioned that, statistically, it seems millennials are having less sex than any other generation in the past. Then the panel made of baby boomers makes jokes about how kids must be too distracted by Facebook to jump into bed with people.

Like, I love the guys on WWDTM, but way to be fucking out of touch with reality. Maybe, just maybe, millennials are too busy keeping up three jobs to pay off their crippling debt to even care about maintaining relationships right now.

Maybe we’ve shrugged off a little of the social pressure to pair up and have sex and make babies because we’re open-minded enough to realize and accept that not everyone wants those things.

Maybe we’ve found a hundred other fun and productive things to do with our free time, like chatting and hanging out with people literally anywhere in the world.

And maybe we’re too distracted by desperately trying to correct all the mistakes baby boomers have made that are fucking up the entire planet, which we will have to live in long after the previous generations have kicked the bucket.

But yeah, let’s just perpetuate the image of the lazy millennial sitting around stoned in a beanbag chair browsing Twitter. Hurr hurr stupid millennials.

x-men: first class starter sentences
  • "Everything is alright and good."
  • "I don't know how you survived such hardship."
  • "Read to me."
  • "Anyone would be lucky to have you- you are stunning.
  • "Are you sure we can't shave your head?"
  • "She didn't do this, you did."
  • "I'm sorry, but we do not."
  • "I have complete and utter faith in you."
  • "Put... put some clothes on."
  • "It's a mutation, a very groovy mutation."
  • "I know we've had our differences."
  • "Would you date me?"
  • "God, I don't know what's gotten into you lately. You're awfully concerned with your looks."
  • "You don't have to steal."
  • "Next thing you know, I'll be going bald."
  • "Have you ever looked at a tiger and thought to cover it up?"
  • "You want society to accept you, but you can't even accept yourself."
  • "More tea, vicar?"
  • "You've never looked more beautiful, darling."
  • "No more hiding."
  • "I promised you a lot of things, I'm afraid."
  • "Take good care of him."
  • "The real enemy is out there!"
  • "Something tells me you already know the answer to your question."
  • "You and me... we're going to have a lot of fun together."
  • "We are the children of the atom."
  • "I want you by my side."
  • "You're not alone."
  • "Mutant and proud."

Unpopular opinion time honestly just because I need to vent: I really, really don’t like Ray. His constant use of the r slur made me extremely uncomfortable. He seemed (to me at least) rude in a way that was not funny. He was never engaged in what was going on. His humor never once clicked with me.

And the hard part is I really tried to like him. I read Raywood fics, I tried to watch his streams and support but after a week or two I stopped. And at this point, I, to my core, don’t really think anyone at AH misses him that much either. Michael rarely mentions him and that’s IT. They make occasional jokes at his expense, because he really never cared about the content. And that’s fine for him. But I’m so damn sick of seeing Jeremy getting passed over in recently made fan art and fics, just so that Ray can be featured.

It’s disappointing because Jeremy LOVES the guys just as much as we do, he wants to be there, he wants to create and engage with us. Why would we pass that up?

On the other hand: if you still include Ray in your content and ALSO include Jeremy- then hell yeah, continue on and I support you 100%.

It’s the desperately clinging onto an older member who literally has said themselves they don’t really want to be involved in the company anymore, and refusing to accept the new member who genuinely and enthusiastically DOES want to be apart of everything type of mentality that’s really what bothers me.

How to be an -Isms (As Explained by Glynda Goodbitch)
  • Glynda: To begin, you'll have to make a blog. Main or sideblog, it really, really doesn't matter.
  • Glynda: The name of said blog should be your character's name or part of the name, followed by -isms or isms. Last name, first name, both, nobody gives a shit. Make it obvious, though. It should be easy for people to know who the muse is.
  • Glynda: Then, follow ALL THE ISMS. Every. Last. One. Makes it easy for them to know you exist and to interact.
  • Glynda: Decorate your blog. Make it pretty. People like pretty blogs.
  • Glynda: And finally, the most IMPORTANT step: SHITPOST YOUR HEART OUT. Ask for asks (be sure anonymous asks are on), open your submissions, make terrible text posts, send asks to other isms. Start posting, and NEVER STOP.
  • Glynda: One last thing: doubles are allowed. If you want to be Glynda too, make another Glynda blog. We have two Neps, two Romans, two Suns, and two Blakes. We accept them all. So yeah. Don't be discouraged if there's already an ism of your character.
  • Glynda: PS. Followers don't come overnight, but they may come in two to three weeks if you post enough, tag things, and buy this 99,99$ CND guide to running an isms blog!
  • Glynda: Kidding, obviously.

a message to exclustionists who pull the “aces are valid they’re just not lgbt(pn)!” thing, along with “we accept the lgbt(pn) aces!” thing. do you honestly think that any of us “actually lgbt(pn) aces” trust you for one second when you…

- proudly call yourselves “aphobes”
- mock, deride, and misuse a-spec terminology
- mock “ace tumblr” as though it’s an eeeeeevilll hivemind
- say the spilt attraction model is inherently homophobic/problematic for anyone to use, ever
- say that otherwise marginalized people (disabled people, people of colour, etc) identifying as asexual is responsible for the desexualization of their respective groups
- mock a-spec labels
- say that asexuality should not be taught as an orientation that exists when teens are taught sex ed
- suicide bait people in the positivity tag (which is used by more than just cis + heteroromantic aces jsyk)
- spam and invalidate people in the positivity tag
- tell people who identify as ace and are minors that they are inherently sexualizing everyone else (like, say, me)
- make disgusting “moodboards” that compare aces (and they said “aces” not “cishet aces”) to awful, awful people
- talk about “MOGAI hell” orientations (and genders. you are aware this is a truscum thing, correct?)
- and generally talk about asexual people as being the lowest scum of the earth

why wouldn’t I believe you?

  • Hajime Isayama: *gets Armin some spotlight, treats him like an actual main character, doesn't let Mikasa Ackerman, who is also a main character, have even an actual conversation for about 30 chapters*
  • Ere//min shippers: lol nobody cares
  • Wit studio: *shows us a filler Eremika scene, replaces Armin with Mikasa in two or three scenes, gives Mikasa the spotlight she deserves*
  • Ere//min shippers: ATROCIOUS. HORRIBLE. WE WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS. HOW DARE YOU ERASE THE EXISTENCE OF ARMIN ARLERT LIKE THAT.

anonymous asked:

ok so we all know and hate ScarJo for being in Ghost in the Shell but how is that different from Marvel casting a PoC to portray a historically white MJ? Obviously I love the concept of Zendaya as MJ i just want to know how to argue and justify it because some people just don't accept that reverse racism isn't a real thing

it’s different bc scarjo taking a role that was originally asian means she took a job from an asian women and they already get so little in the film industry, while white women get so many more opportunities than them it’s ridiculous. while if you take a character that is traditionally white and give the role to a poc, that is creating roles for poc rather than taking from them. bc, like i said, white people aren’t hurting for roles.

so you need to understand that whitewashing a character is basically robbing poc of opportunities that they are already so deprived of, while making a white character a poc is providing opportunities and let’s be real white actors can deal with that. it isn’t like there’s gonna be a shortage of roles for them.

anonymous asked:

I want all the meta on that bar, like what's that yellow(canon?)thingy was it supposed to shoot confetti when some1 managed to ride Larry all the way?Also how well do u know ur brother Sam if the cowboy bar isn't the 1st place u check? It's obvious Dean wanted 2 treat himself & indulge, the waitress confirms this w/ 'u had the hots for larry since u walked in'. And we also /know/ Dean, so the fact that he had 4 shots b4 means nothing like he was probably going omg i'm so drunk rn hope i don't do

anything stupid what no i’m not gonna ride Larry ahaha omg u guys i can’t believe u’re making me ride larry ok here i go:)) Maybe that’s y i’m so ok w/ how the waitress thing panned out bc she saw thru him & accepted him & thought him riding larry was amazing, and Dean needed that validation(also that apology when she thought he’d been roofied was imp). Basically no one can convince me that Dean didn’t immediately say fuck it if i’m not riding Cas, bi God Imma ride Larry!

I need to start saying “bi God” immediately all the time

I was talking with @mittensmorgul​ and @obsessionisaperfume​ about Sam’s lack of knowledge about what type of bar Dean would pick. Even though HE was the one who told Dean he has a cowboy fetish, I don’t think he really… sees all the way through sometimes. We were talking about Dean tracking Sam in 4x21 or whenever, that time Sam went and got the honeymoon suite to hide from Dean because it was the last thing he’d normally do, and Dean followed the trail of reverse-psychology cars and stuff all the way to him because he KNOWS Sam that well.

It’s not really a bad judgement on Sam because the point is DEAN is the one who keeps all this from Sam, like, not sharing that he’d gone and watched Finding Dory 6 times and cried every time (okay I may be extrapolating from between the lines here :P) when that’s a pretty harmless headcanon. But I think the whole point was Sam’s disadvantage? And that he needed to learn a bit more about Dean vs performed Dean? So the bar seemed really random and after a long dude where’s my car quest for SAM but if Dean had been tracking a memory-less Sam, he could have trailed him much better… He even did, in Born Under A Bad Sign, and that was mostly Meg :P 

Anyway yeah Dean totally just wanted to ride Larry to vent his frustration about the whole Cas thing. “Sacred Oath? Oh come on, I’m being cockblocked by heaven this isn’t fair.”

UHHHH OKAY??

autistic people are beautiful!! who’s ever thought of this????

there are so many things wrong with this??

1. “mildly autistic” “IQ of 85”
2. autistic people are SO beautiful? Male or female? I’d totally date one? I’m autistic and I’d want somebody to stim with, somebody to help out, somebody to love..
3. autistic people are underrepresented in sensual love? why?? why are we like, children now?? we have feelings too and while I like how this shows it I don’t like how autism and an IQ of 85 is seen as bad
4. IQs are an ableist concept anyway
5. functioning labels. just sayin it again for the people in the back
6. nobody likes autistic people? they think they should be cured? aw hell no. Autistic people are amazing and kind and I love them so so much. please love them and save our precious children

and literally that is just the START

reblog if u would date an autistic person no matter what!!! (and wouldn’t support A$ or any sort of ableism)