things to see in washington

My dear Anna, ever since I’ve had the opportunity of knowing you, I’ve been in love with you.

Tucker is new to the stress of actual war; wash isn’t
Wash is new to the healing effects of physical affection; Tucker is not

naturally, the answer is platonic cuddling

so my history teacher just told us the story of how A.Ham saved America at the Battle of Long Island, and let me tell you it was a doozy.

So there’s the rebel troops right? Those guys. They’re waiting in NYC for the British troops to get there, because those assholes went and sailed off to Canada after the last big overblown slapfight. Papa Washington has about 20,000 troops and no navy, but he’s like, “It’s fine, we’re fine.”

WRONG PAPA WASHINGTON. WRONG

 The British get there with over 50,000 soldiers, and their giant-ass navy, ready to drive the U.S. into the fucking ground.

AND THEY WOULD HAVE.

If not for the magic of…. fog.

That’s right, just as the rebels are getting the hell out of there in the most unorganized way possible, a fog rolls in. They just barely make it out alive because the Brits can’t see a damn thing. Washington however, does not do that. No, he decides to go all emo on everyone, and sits on his horse in the middle of the battlefield waiting to get captured. His men are all retreating and he’s lost all hope.

Back at the camp, all his officers are like, “Wait, where’s our general. OH SHIT HE’S STILL OUT THERE.” 

But who will retrieve him? Take a fucking guess. 

ALEXANDER MOTHERFUCKING BI AS HELL WON’T SHUT UP FOR THREE SECONDS NO YOU DON’T SAY THAT TO ANOTHER ORPHAN GO TO SLEEP GODDAMMIT AND STOP TRYING TO FIGHT EVERYONE HAMILTON.

He rides out there on his horse who I will assume is named Laurens, because who else would he ride, and finds Washington. Hamilton’s like, “Sir, WHAT THE HELL. I CAN HEAR THE BRITISH TROOPS, THEY’RE ONLY A FEW FEET AWAY WE NEED TO MOVE.”

Washington replies with something like, “whats the point.”

Now when you ask Alexander Hamilton what that point is, you are going to find out one way or another.

Hammy proceeds to give Washington the greatest pep talk in all of history, which was surprisingly short considering the troops are now only 100 feet away. However, Washington STILL isn’t going anywhere, so Alex does the only logical thing: HE GRABS WASHINGTON’S HORSE BY THE REINS AND PULLS THEM BACK TO CAMP.

SUCK A DICK LAFAYETTE, HAMILTON DID IT FIRST.

They make it back in one piece, and this is the event that ultimately makes him Washington’s Right Hand Man.

Moral of the story? Alexander Hamilton was fucking insane and we should all thank the stars he never actually got to fight. 

Since the beginning of all the political upheaval, a number of us have been concerned about how the connection to certain families would impact the girls.

This is the first time I have seen anyone I know outside the Kaylor fandom engaging at all with either KK or JK:

Two of my actual Facebook friends liked this article. The first is an ardent feminist who marched carrying her six month old daughter. The other marched with her fiancée in LA. Meaning, I think they liked this post assuming, like the rest of us did yesterday when we saw the pic of him there, that he was out supporting. The use of that pic implies Karlie might have marched also though we know she didn’t and has stayed silent on the matter.

This is nearly all of the article text below. Note who else is pulled in:

Just putting that out there. So far, weirdly, the connection is working in her favor with people who don’t actually follow either of them. Who’d have guessed?

Things That I have Yet to See People Talking About Concerning the Final Episode of OITNB (SPOILERS!!!!!)

1. Aleida’s face when she heard the news. They didn’t mention the name so she thinks it was Daya!

2. Maritza pushing Humphreys down and making him drop his gun.

3. “Fucking CO’s. You’re all pieces of shit.” Pretty sure that while she did mean the one infront of her, I’m pretty sure she was also drawing from her anger towards Bennet.

4. How To Kill a Mockingjay. Hungry Games. 

5. Red reading to her family from a book that Poussey gave to her. 

6. Maria backing away as Daya holds the gun. She might agree with it, but if Daya shoots, Maria is not prepared to take the blame. 

7. Muddy Waters by LP….holy wow. its been on repeat all day.

One thing I would have liked to see incorporated into Hamilton is the fact that Washington sent the Hamiltons a wine cooler after the Reynolds Scandal:

Not for any intrinsic value the thing possesses, but as a token of my sincere regard and friendship for you and as a remembrance of me, I pray you to accept a wine cooler for four bottles. … I pray you to present my best wishes, in which Mrs. Washington joins me, to Mrs. Hamilton and the family, and that you would be persuaded that with every sentiment of the highest regard, I remain your sincere friend and affectionate honorable servant.

Because let’s be real, Hamilton was in major need of something cold after  “Burn.”

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“Hello, I’m Adam.”