1. Love over Fear: People, who are truly happy, are less fearful and more loving. They perceive every moment, every challenge, and every person as an opportunity to learn more about themselves and the world.
2. Acceptance over Resistance: Happy people know that you can’t really change things by denying and resisting them. So when bad things happen, they don’t fight, get angry and complain. Instead, they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I make this better?
3. Forgiveness over Unforgiveness: Truly happy individuals understand that it’s destructive to hold on to feelings of anger. Instead, they choose to forgive and let go, understanding that (in the end) forgiveness is a gift they give themselves.
4. Trust over Mistrust: They trust themselves … and they have learned to figure out the trustworthy people – and those they should avoid.
5. Meaning over Ambition: Happy people do the things they do because it adds meaning and purpose to their lives. They’re not driven by the need to gain acceptance, praise and approval from others.
6. Challenges over Obstacles: Happy people see problems as challenges, and as opportunities to explore new ways of seeing and doing things. That is, challenges are something that help them to grow.
7. Selflessness over Selfishness: Happy people seek out ways ways to give to others - of themselves, their time, of their money, and their gifts. That is, they’re not self-focused and self-absorbed.
8. Kindness over Harshness: Happy people are gentle and kind with themselves and others. They know the importance and power of self-love, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance - and they freely love, forgive and accept other people, too.
9. Gratitude over Ingratitude: No matter where they are, or who they are with, happy people have the capacity to see beauty where others would only see ugliness – and they’re quick to express their gratitude, as well.
10. Being Present over Being Disengaged: Happy people know how to live in the moment, appreciating what they have and who they are with. They are not constantly being dragged down by the past, or distracted by what could happen (or go wrong) in the future.
11. Positivity over Negativity: Regardless of the circumstances of life, happy people are able to adopt and maintain a positive, and upbeat, attitude and perspective.
12. Taking Responsibility over Blaming: Happy people assume full ownership for their lives. They assume responsibility for their life, choices, decisions, actions, reactions, beliefs and attitudes.
THE BOOKS I LOVED SO MUCH I WANTED TO SEW THEM INTO MY SKIN AKA MY FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson Today I Am a Book by xTx The Three Woes by Casey Hannan A Bestiary by Lily Hoang Queen of the Night by Alexander Chee The Mothers by Brit Bennett Commonwealth by Ann Patchett The Red Car by Marcy Dermansky
THE BOOK THAT OPENED MY EYES AND MIND AND BROKE MY HEART WITH THE PAINFUL REALITY TOO MANY AMERICANS LIVE WITH
Evicted by Matthew Desmond
THE BOOK THAT WAS TOTAL TRASH AND I THINK THE WRITER HATES FAT PEOPLE WHICH IS FINE BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE OUR ISSUES BUT STILL, GIRL, WHAT….
Maestra by L.S. Hilton
THE COMING OF AGE PROSE POETRY THAT MOVED ME IMMEASURABLY
The Pocket Knife Bible by Anis Mojgani
THE BOOK THAT MADE ME THINK HILLARY CLINTON REALLY WAS GOING TO WIN THE PRESIDENCY
All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister
THE STRANGE BOOK ABOUT LONELINESS AND THE THINGS WE DO ONLINE THAT I HIGHLY RECOMMEND
Valletta78 by Erin Fitzgerald
THE POETRY BOOK I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND AT ALL THOUGH I COULD TELL THE POEMS WERE SUPER SMART
The House of Lords and Commons by Ishion Hutchinson
THE ACTION THRILLER THAT HAD LOTS OF HYPE BLURBS BUT WAS ONLY SO SO
The Second Life of Nick Mason by Scott Hamilton
THE RETELLING OF A CLASSIC THAT I REALLY ENJOYED, WHICH SURPRISED ME AND ALSO THE AUTHOR WROTE ONE OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS OF ALL TIME, AMERICAN WIFE
Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld
THE BOOK THAT MADE ME CRY BECAUSE IT HELD SO MUCH I COULD RELATE TO AND THEN MADE ME A LITTLE MAD
13 Ways of Looking at a Fat Girl by Mona Awad
EXCELLENT SMALL PRESS BOOKS YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT
Pink Museum by Caroline Crew The Farmacist by Ashley Farmer The Voyager Record by Anthony Michael Morena Massive Cleansing Fire by Dave Housley
THE BOOK I READ TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE A COMIC BOOK SERIES EVEN THOUGH I WAS WRITING FOR THEIR MAJOR COMPETITOR
The DC Comics Guide to Writing Comics by Dennis O’Neil
THE COMIC BOOK I LOVED AND RECOMMEND OFTEN
Saga by Brian Vaughan
THE COMIC BOOK ISSUE I READ AND THOUGHT WAS NOT SO GOOD SO I HAVEN’T READ ANY OTHER ISSUES IN THE SERIES
Wonder Woman Rebirth #1
THE BOOK I WROTE AN INTRODUCTION FOR (OUT IN 2017! FROM BEACON PRESS!)
Like One of the Family by Alice Childress
THE BOOK I REVIEWED FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES
Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult
THE BOOK I WANTED TO LOVE THAT HAD GORGEOUS OBSERVATIONS OF WOMEN’S FRIENDSHIPS
Rich and Pretty by Rumaan Alam
THE BOOK ABOUT CHEFS AND THEIR TATTOOS WITH FASCINATING STORIES OF WHY PEOPLE PERMANENTLY INK THEIR SKIN
Knives and Ink by Isaac Fitzgerald and Wendy MacNaughton
THE BOOK I READ BECAUSE I SAW A PREVIEW FOR THE TV SHOW AND LEARNED IT WAS BASED ON A BOOK SO I STARTED WONDERING IF THE BOOK WAS GOOD
Queen of the South by Arturo Perez-Reverte
SOME VERY GOOD BOOKS YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT BECAUSE THE STORIES ARE WARM AND/OR INTELLIGENT AND/OR STRANGE AND/OR GRIPPING AND/OR INTENSE
Turner House by Angela Flournoy LaRose by Louise Erdrich The Wangs vs the World by Jade Chang The Story of My Teeth by Valerie Luiselli You Will Know Me by Megan Abbott
THE HEARTBREAKING BOOK ABOUT BEING GAY IN THE MIDDLE EAST DURING THESE TUMULTUOUS TIMES FROM A WRITER WITH A LOT OF POTENTIAL
Guapa by Saleem Haddad
GORGEOUS BOOKS OF POETRY I REALLY LOVED
Night Sky With Exit Wounds by Ocean Vuong L’Heure Bleue by Elisa Gabbert The New Testament by Jericho Brown Look by Solmaz Sharif There Are More Beautiful Things Than Beyoncé by Morgan Parker
THE EXCELLENT BOOK I CHOSE AS MY SELECTION FOR BOOK OF THE MONTH CLUB
The Veins of the Ocean by Patricia Engel
THE BOOK I READ BASICALLY TO IMPRESS A GIRL AND IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD BOOK ALSO AND I HOPE THE GIRL WAS IMPRESSED BY MY DEDICATION BECAUSE THE BOOK WAS VERY LONG
The Fireman by Joe Hill
THE BOOK WITH AN AMAZING TITLE, SOME REALLY GOOD STORIES INCLUDING A RIFF ON ANTIQUES ROADSHOW AND ALSO SOME STORIES I LIKED LESS
American Housewife by Helen Ellis
THE BOOK THAT WAS EXCEPTIONALLY WRITTEN BUT I WANTED THE ACTUAL RAILROAD PART TO BE MORE FULLY REALIZED
The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead
FUN BOOKS THAT WERE FUN
The Assistants by Camille Perri China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan
THE BOOK ABOUT BEING SINGLE TOWARD THE MIDDLE OF YOUR LIFE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOVE WHEN IT COMES OUT
All Grown Up by Jami Attenberg
THE EXCELLENT SHORT STORY COLLECTIONS COMING OUT AROUND THE SAME TIME AS DIFFICULT WOMEN THAT MADE ME JEALOUS AND ALSO SCARED OF THE COMPETITION
Homesick for Another World by Ottessa Moshfegh Always Happy Hour by Mary Miller
THE BOOK THAT WAS NOT MY CUP OF TEA BUT IT’S ME NOT THE BOOK
300 Arguments by Sarah Manguso
THE BOOKS I BLURBED (AND THEREFORE REALLY ENJOYED)
You’re the Most Beautiful Thing That Happened by Arisa White In the Not Quite Dark by Dana Johnson I Almost Forgot About You by Terry McMillan The Red Car by Marcy Dermansky Feminist Baby by Loryn Brantz Lower Ed: The Troubling Rise of For-Profit Colleges in the New Economy by Tressie McMillan Cottom Bruja by Wendy C. Ortiz Sing For Your Life by Daniel Bergner Made for Love by Alissa Nutting
The actress delivered the speech in October, but it’s only recently been made available online. In the moving talk, Judd spoke about the rampant sexual harassment of women online — and four concrete things we can do to stop it.
Hi, I have a question : how do I know if I'm ace? For example if I have never kissed someone how do I know I don't like to kiss someone? Maybe is a stupid question but I'm new on this blog
“how do i know if i’m ____?” is a very common question that many people ask themself and / or others at one point or another and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. despite being a common question, the answer to that question isn’t a simple one and will differ from person to person because there is no one “true” answer, imho. the following is just my longwinded personal opinion.
before i attempt to answer your question
i’d like to point out that whether you like or don’t like kissing is not an indication of whether you’re ace or not. if you don’t like kissing then you simply don’t like kissing, which can be true for someone of any orientation. similarly, someone of any orientation can like kissing, including aces.
replace “kissing” with “sex” and the same is still true.
different people define asexuality differently because it means different things to different people, but imho asexuality is no different from other sexual orientations in that it’s descriptive of who someone is or isn’t (potentially) sexually attracted to and says nothing about the actions one finds enjoyable (or not). besides, a person doesn’t have to be sexually attracted to someone for kissing (or sex) to be enjoyable and a lack of sexual attraction is not required for kissing (or sex) to be something you don’t like.
while it’s certainly true that there are aces who do not like kissing and / or sex, for whom their experience with kissing and / or sex and disliking it (or worse) may be intrinsically connected to their asexuality / how they came to identify as ace, i hope that a lack of experience will not detour you from identifying as ace if you think that you might be ace.
to answer your question (finally)
how do you know if you’re ace? the same way that i myself and countless others know that they’re ace: “ace”, “asexual”, “gray asexual”, “demisexual”, etc resonate with you and you feel comfortable enough describing yourself (or being referred to by others) as such enough to identify as such. in other words, you adopt that word / identity for yourself because you decide for yourself that that’s who you are.
there is nothing that qualifies you (or disqualifies you) as ace. there is no surefire way to know whether or not you’re ace.
there is no way to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will never experience sexual attraction even if you have yet to experience it.
hell, sometimes it can be difficult to know whether or not you’ve ever experienced sexual attraction to some degree or in some way. sometimes it’s simply impossible to know for sure and yet other times you may not even be sure what the hell this “sexual attraction” even is.
and that’s okay. all of that is okay.
every single one of us lives in the present, not the future nor the past. uncertainty is natural. you do not need to know anything for certain. furthermore, you do not need to know how you may feel in the future to identify as something now because it feels right to do so now. even if you were to identify as ace (or anything else) now, but in the future something were to change for you that makes ace (or anything else) less relevant or comfortable for you, that’s okay. use whatever word(s) / identity(/ies) feel right for you at the time and discard the ones that don’t. every experience you have (or don’t have) is valid regardless of whether that experience changes for you later in life. there’s absolutely no reason to hold one’s breath for future possibilities that may never come, simply roll with them if they do.
tl;dr because i’m longwinded as hell
if the thought that you might be ace resonates with you, why not try it on for size? in other words, try identifying as ace (even if only internally to yourself) and see how it makes you feel now. don’t worry about the future. if you happen to find that ace feels “right” or comfortable for you now, then hey! you might be ace. sometimes it’s not actually a matter of “knowing” whether you’re ace or not, but rather deciding if “ace” is meaningful as a word / identity for you. no one knows you better than you know yourself and sometimes it’s difficult to know anything for sure and that’s okay. just roll with your feelings, figure out things as you go and use whatever word(s) / identity(/ies) happen to feel right for you / be helpful. i’m pretty sure that that’s what all of us are doing. :)
I get super stressed if I’m not organised, so staying organised is a priority. My Kikki K journal is where I put all of my events, things to do and homework. I alternate between that and Wunderlist (an online to do list)
The end of the lil’ coda-sequel made me cackle and involved Ganondorf scooping Zelda up ‘to perch on his shoulder like a finch’ and that image was TOO CUTE. Also there’s the implication that he’s going to teach her to be very sneakily seditious and not get in trouble next time and I just.
I really wish there was more, but as it is, I’m delighted and needed to Draw A Thing because authors who make me giggle myself out of the grumps deserve fanart.