things to bring to a party

((SO I will be leaving thrusday for this convention I’ll be heading to and since I wont have my computer to post anything about the event, I just wanted to let everyone know ahead of time that Yuuma is hosting an after party! Anyone can come and I’ve drawn many pictures for it already, alone with the lay out of his home.

((More things can happen there!!! Feel free to tag along and blah blah))

rising signs when drunk
  • Aries: loud af, super fun, changes the music and dances by themselves, sometimes a bit of a dick (in the BEST WAY POSSIBLE), makes everyone dance with them, the one usually to come up with an idea to ride down a hill on some cardboard they found (SO FUN), probs will steal a sign
  • Taurus: probs drunk eating or hanging out in the kitchen, always on the look out for food or a snuggle, really well dressed and presented, super touchy and affectionate (often they're not super affectionate), SUPER giggly lmao, almost a mom-friend but if you're not a CLOSE friend they rly will not give a fuck, will very likely take off their clothes bc they feel so restricted
  • Gemini: giggly as hell, absolute SHIT talker, could probably win a debate with their confidence when drunk, tends to like run away, ditzy and off the planet entirely, somehow manages to talk with everyone at the party, doesn't really remember their names, accidentally flirty but only bc they are on their own level
  • Cancer: Super mom-friend if you're a close pal, will not give a fuck if you're not close, really loves food, tends to be super fun and captivating, really social and flirty, doesn't take it anywhere though so when it gets more than flirty they kinda just... leave that situation, can get offended rly quickly but also as quickly is laughing in the centre of the room
  • Leo: the organiser, lights up the party when they walk in, everyone is playing drinking games around them, always dressed on-POINT, laughs really loud, NEVER empty handed, always chatting to a group of people really animatedly, will find/swap clothes with someone by the end of the night, first one to get everyone to do shots for the night, forward rolls away from a bad convo, life of the party
  • Virgo: tries to look after everyone at first, makes sure they're comfortable, really sweet and caring, then gets absolutely smashed, talks shit and gets super direct, tells people they're wrong and corrects them in a hilarious way, doesn't shut up when they get started, makes sure everyone is super drunk and having fun, will be the one to hold back hair even if they just threw up
  • Libra: will touch EVERYTHING, super flirty and huggy, friends with everyone in a charming way, has control of the music ALWAYS and will complain when it's shit, somehow has everyone's details by the end of the night, HILARIOUS, talks really fast when they get excited, makes people chug their drinks and starts a chant off, usually ends up hooking up with someone at the end of a night
  • Scorpio: magnetic as hell, super dark and sarcastic at the beginning, cynical and observes, then decides who the fun people are at a party and gets LOOSE AS HELL, seductive and a smooth talker, will definitely bring someone home with them, gets someone's number, dances on the tables, sings/raps a song surprisingly perfectly, charming and witty, super funny
  • Sagittarius: omg life of the party with leo rising, does literally their own thing 100% of the time, gets on their own buzz entirely, makes a brand new friend group and runs off with them during the night, might just run off in general, makes a speech early in the night, makes the FUNNIEST jokes, can talk about politics and also absolutely nothing within the same conversation, always with a drink
  • Capricorn: witty and observant at first, then comes out of their shell and a completely different side to them emerges, will leave mid convo if it's boring, is sarcastic and loud, starts running around and somehow gets the energy of 5 billion condensed suns, gets really confident, speaks and laughs loudly
  • Aquarius: SOCIAL AS HELL, big arms and wild movements, always dresses so uniquely and cool, deeply involved in all drinking games, always ends up scoring more alcohol somehow (it's often given to them), takes a heap of selfies but immediately deletes them if they look slightly bad, will not ever stop talking
  • Pisces: absolutely wildly silly, laughing super hard on one side, and then mid-conversation sprints into another bc they like what they're talking about more, sometimes has a break where they suddenly get sad or mad, but then immediately reverts back to their cloud 9 state, gets a shitload of energy, meets everyone in the party and almost immediately forgets their name, always gets super drunk, passes out, wakes up and keeps going

The whole mess about difficulty modes in video games is so weird to me, because I’ve seen it before. The tabletop roleplaying hobby went through exactly the same thing decades earlier.

I remember the flamewars about how games where you didn’t die instantly at zero hit points were coddling unskilled players and bringing about the downfall of “real” gaming.

I remember it being seriously debated whether making games more mathematically accessible was worth the potential loss of granularity - and, indeed, whether people who were bad at math “deserved” to play at all!

Heck, even a lot of reasoning was word-for-word identical. Folks used to argue with a straight face that of course your new character should start at level 1 when your old character died, no matter what the party’s average level was, because you had to earn the right to enjoy the game “properly” by slogging through multiple sessions with a character who’s bad at everything first.

It’s that noxious combination of “all games should be difficult to play because I’ve invested my entire identity in having mastered that difficulty” and “I want games that don’t cater to the exact mode of play that I prefer to fail, and I want the exact things that I dislike about them to be the reason that they fail“ - well, it’s awful familiar, is what I’m saying.

I won’t say that the tabletop roleplaying hobby ever entirely got over it - the “games that don’t cater exactly to me should fail” attitude still strongly informs the “Edition Warrior” mindset in D&D circles, for example - but the broader community basically came to a consensus that people who think like this are assholes decades ago, so watching video games describe the same trajectory evokes a strange mix of nostalgia and exasperation.

episode one :: Yuuri Katsuki is the most beautiful disaster that Victor has ever met in his entire life, and Victor has built his empire on beautiful disasters.



Victor isn’t sure he knows what he’s doing anymore by the time casting rolls around for season 22 of The Bachelor.  Okay, he knows what he’s doing, but it’s all autopilot.  He’s got a dossier of Chip Vanderbones and Tad Hardbeefs to look at, but is almost resigned enough to just give into Lilia and Yakov’s suggestion to cast Georgi Popovich, notorious histrionic Bachelorette season 10 runner-up, as this season’s lead out of sheer notgivingafuckness.  At this point Victor isn’t even sure whether he really wants to be in this game at all anymore, but what the hell else he would do besides sleep for a thousand years if he retired before thirty?  

And then Phichit Chulanont comes into his office to distract him during a conference call with Yakov to tell him a story about his friend who just crashed and burned at the Figure Skating Grand Prix Finals, and everything click click clicks into place: redemption narrative.  Twenty young men are going for the gold, but only one can win the heart of Yuuri Katsuki– he can hear the promos, see the character arcs unfold, and the narratives rush through him like they’ve always lived inside him and it feels–exciting.  

“Phichit,” Victor says suddenly, interrupting Phichit and grabbing him from across his desk.  “We have to get him.  He’s our next bachelor.”

“Oh my God,” Phichit replies, eyes widening, and then again, “Oh my God.

“Do you think you could get him?” Victor asks.  He’s seeing figure skating dates, thematic destination shoots in Chile and Finland and Iceland, “The Bachelor: Love on Ice” title screen flashing over two champagne glasses on the lip of an outdoor hot tub.  

“Do I think I can get him,” Phichit repeats dismissively, looking the closest to offended that Victor has ever seen him.  “What do you think you hired me for, Nikiforov.”

Keep reading

iwasapruneratfaverolles  asked:

PLEASE TELL THE CHILDREN THE STORY OF MS. STUBELS

Grace fuck, why would you invoke her name like that???

Okay, fine, gather round children, buckle up because we’re going on a bumpy ride back to everyone’s collective least favorite place: 7th grade.

Some background: I went to a very small Catholic school. One class per grade (we were the largest with 19 kids), everyone knew each other whether they wanted to or not. Despite basically every teacher and faculty members insistence that we were The Best And Most Special Class In The School and that everyone loved having us, the longstanding 7th grade teacher Mrs. O’Hara decided to retire in the summer of 2008, meaning the school had to find us a new teacher for the upcoming year. This would be like, the first new teacher in the school in a while, and as she was getting the ‘best class’, it was viewed as a Big Deal. Somewhere in like July or August we got a letter announcing Mrs. Stubel, and it came with a list of books to pick for the summer reading, and that was basically all the information we had.

So…the first day of class. She seems nice enough. Very…ditsy, I guess? It was very easy for her to get herself off topic while talking. She constantly paced around the room, never staying in one spot for longer than a second, complaining she has restless leg syndrome. Which like, I’m sure she did, but she was in the middle of introducing herself and then went on a 20 minute tangent about restless leg syndrome without anyone prompting her. It was almost like you could see her scattered thoughts flying around her head.

So anyone, she eventually gives somewhat of an introduction- she had only taught in public schools before, and kept worrying she ‘didn’t know’ how to teach in a Catholic school despite the entire class insisting literally nothing was different, you just teach the curriculum, twice a week we have religion class with Sister Mary King, that’s literally it (she still talked over us in worry), she told us about her kids, she told us about her obsession with Emily Dickinson, stuff like that.

And then she hands us this worksheet.

She’s like, “Oh, these are just some basic questions for you to answer! Just so I can get to know you guys better!” like in lieu of an icebreaker game, which is fine, but…the questions. The questions were all “What is your most haunting fear?”, “What is your deepest regret?”, “Have you ever experienced the pain of loss?”, “What was your worst injury?”, “What was your worst nightmare?”, all questions like that, and then on the back she wanted us to draw a gravestone and write out what we wanted our epitaph to be.

We were twelve year olds, mind you.

Oh my God and one girl missed the first day because of her grandmother’s funeral, so when she came the next day and saw what the teacher was insisting she do for homework, she almost had a panic attack? And the lady still made her do it? Literally who wants to think about death anymore at a time like that omfg.

Okay, so then we get to the summer reading book reports, right? Now, she had given a list of maybe, 20 books that you could pick from, read it, and then present an oral report on it. You had to have notecards and you had to be able to answer questions from the class at the end. All in all, I’ve had worse projects.

So, on this list, she apparently put Madeleine L’Engle’s entire book series on the list…only she did not make it known that this was a series and not multiple stand alone books, so when reports started up it caused mass-panic of kids trying to put together plot points and make connections on what the hell they had read.

I was the only kid in the class who had chosen to read “A Wrinkle In Time”, and that has since lead to a series of events that…really actually scares me, I’m still incredibly freaked out, I’m not going to get into it right now because it’ll take away from the current story, but just know that I’m not above wondering if it only happened because I read the book for Stubel.

Anyway, so like, I got through the report okay. The class asking questions about it was fine, but the teacher kept asking questions that didn’t make sense, like, at all. My friend Angie has always had super neat handwriting and Mrs. Stubel got like, obsessed with her notecards and asked if she could borrow them for something. When we got our grades back a few weeks later, Angie had points taken off for not having notecards.

And then her teaching just…didn’t happen. She’d never stay on a topic, she’d always get herself distracted! We were not learning anything. And like, this wasn’t a class of advanced smart kids that loved to learn. By all accounts we should’ve been thrilled. But it got out of hand. It got to points where we had to start teaching lessons to ourselves, asking teacher from other grades for help, always coming home in tears, complaining constantly to our parents and the principal because this woman wasn’t teaching us anything. There were two kids who asked her multiple times for extra help, and she told them each time to ‘talk to me after school’, but then she’d leave immediately after school so they wouldn’t be able to talk to her. They finally brought up the issue in the middle of class and she had a breakdown, yelling about how nobody ever thinks that maybe the teacher has a lot of work to do, and maybe she’s entitled to taking off early, but when we tried to argue she shouldn’t schedule meetings and then break them off in the name of relaxation, she stormed out of the room and tried to get the principal to give us detention. (Which, like, our school didn’t even do, and she was the only one in the wrong during this situation) We are still in September at this point, and already at least ten kids have parents considering transferring them to another school. (And remember, there was only 19 of us, and most of the class had been together since preschool, so that was a big deal).

Then, she starts coming in with all the weird bruises. All the Moms™ immediately started gossiping that her husband had to be beating her, and that’s why she was so screwy in the head. But the way she talked about her husband made it seem like he *might* be dead, and we actually did witness her fall and smack her head into a doorknob once, so no one really knew what to believe. (Also, I’m not trying to imply that abuse would make someone crazy or ‘damaged’ or anything, this is just what was being said. I think they were trying to turn her into a more sympathetic character, because if you feel sorry for her you don’t have to hate her for frustrating your kids so much, and Hate Is A Bad Emotion.)

Also…this woman and Emily Dickinson.

She talked about Emily Dickinson every chance she could get. None of us knew who Emily Dickinson really was before she got there and you could see in her mind it was a capitol offense. She found out the curriculum didn’t have room to cover her (because like, we had a text book), and was way too upset about it. She started reading her poems whenever she found the time (usually somewhere in history class), and always gave us very detailed accounts about her dressing up as Emily and reading her poetry at the library.

Now, two things to note here:

  1. The library did not hire her to do this. She would literally just get in the mood, put on an Emily Dickinson costume that she made by herself, drive to different libraries, and just read poetry out loud to everyone there until someone eventually asked her to leave.
  2. The way she described these events…her tone, the look on her face, her posture…you could just tell that she was getting some sort of sexual gratification out of this? Like dressing up as Emily Dickinson in public and reading her sad poems is really what got this lady’s jollies rocking? Got her all hot and bothered? Which is…a lot, but why would you tell a bunch of seventh graders about it holy shit. What about that sounds like a good idea! What about that turns you back on!

So anyway, we learned a lot about Emily Dickinson against our will.

One of the Davids™ was reading a book for pleasure- which shouldn’t have been a shocker, a lot of kids always had books on them, but Stubel got really interested and asked if she could borrow it from him. He was like ‘sure, after I finish it?’ but she took it that day. He asked her for it back for like five weeks straight.

And…the strudels.

Okay, so the school was trying some dorky thing to promote ~togetherness~ or some virtue or something, I don’t remember the specifics of why, but each class had to make a huge themed poster and hang it on the wall outside the classroom. Which was like, whatever, not the most thrilling project but at least it allowed us to be productive vs just sitting there as the teacher runs about the room rambling about her family vacation from four years ago. Mrs. Stubel decided we needed a quirky nickname and after like three days of deliberation we were christened “Stubel’s Special Strudels”!

(points for alliteration or whatever, but no one actually voted for that and what exactly do strudels have to do with Catholicism? It became a big running joke amongst the kids)

Also, in case you were wondering, she didn’t explain the assignment correctly to us- so every other class had like these beautiful, artistic, well-themed and put together posters, while ours was just…literally a bunch of shit thrown together on paper. Nothing fit with each other, it was literally embarrassing to look at.

But then…she wouldn’t drop the strudel thing. Like she kept bringing it up. She got really into strudels and would just tell us random shit about them. Finally, someone jokes that we should get strudels one day for a party (like instead of a pizza party), and she’s Freaking Out and On Board. She really wants to buy us strudels and have a breakfast party now. She talked about it for like two days straight.

So like… you know in school when you would have a pizza party, usually the teacher would buy it? That’s how they always happened in my experience (not counting the last day of 10th grade when some kid had pizza delivered to the school for lunch but it didn’t get there until math class lol). But especially in grade school? Like if it wasn’t a PTA made party that’s super organized, the school would buy the food, right? Right?

Yeah, so she was like, if this is happening you guys need to give me the money. Just give me the money and then I’ll pick them up on my way to work!! And after some arguing some kids are on board. Strudels should only cost a couple dollars right?

And she’s like, oh no, I’m gonna get them from this high end bakery near my house so it’ll be special, but they’re not cheap and it’ll be a big order! I’m gonna need like fifteen dollars from each of you!

And at this point I’m just like…lady. Come on. 

But she keeps insisting. She’s not gonna go until every student in class pays up.

And I’m like…I’m poor. I don’t even like strudel.  And some of the less-naïve kids are siding with me.

And then she pulls that “you guys are just spoiling all the fun for your classmates” shit, like the naïve kids who already paid up, so it gets to the point where we just gotta cave and give her the money.

(I ended up stealing it out of my Crazy Bitch Aunt’s wallet so it’s whatever, I guess.)

And then of course, shockingly enough, every morning she was met with “where are the strudels?” and every morning she went wide eyed, slapped her forehead and yelled in embarrassed horror “I totally forgot! Tomorrow, guys, I promise!”

Honestly, with how scatterbrained and confused she always was…like to this day I can’t tell you with 100% certainty whether she hustled us or was just actually forgetting about the damn pastries, I choose to lean towards the hustled us side because that’s just the type of people I’m used to, but if I found out it was innocent forgetfulness I wouldn’t exactly be surprised.

She couldn’t handle more than one person talking at a time. Like, we’d have break periods, or group work, or something and all the talking made her go wide-eyed and batty. She’d look overworked and anxious and would be darting around the room trying to do work or something but she couldn’t focus and she’d yell at anyone who tried to talk to her directly. I remember one time she was using this boys desk for something so he asked “where am I supposed to sit?” and she snapped “Sit on the ceiling for all I care!”. And this kid was the Class Clown™ , so he immediately grabbed a chair in one hand and started climbing the bookcase to try and reach the ceiling. She’s standing right next to this and doesn’t even notice. He got all four chair legs planted on the ceiling and was trying to somehow maneuver his way into the chair (I really don’t know what the plan was exactly- he was really tall and it was a small building, so I think he probably had the idea that if he can get his body upside down and in the chair, and stretch out his arms like a hand-stand to hold onto bookcase, he could arguably sit on the ceiling.) but he slipped. Crashed into my desk and the two desks next to me, knocked over the book case, broke the chair in half and hit the desks with enough force to knock them down lower. It was hilarious. Everyone was loosing their shit cracking up (he was fine) and it still took Stubel like five minutes to notice his lying out across the desks right in front of her eyes. She was pissed but how did she miss any of it in the first place? She was barely being helpful in whatever it was she was trying to do.

This was the year the Phillies were going to the World Series, and all the grades were having a Phillies Rally in the cafeteria so a news crew was coming to the school and each class was supposed to come up with fun little cheers for them to broadcast. Multiple cheer ideas were presented to her and she vetoed all of them, someone even suggested just singing the damn eagles theme song with replaced words and calling it a day but she vetoed that too, she was very adamant that she could come up with a cheer all by herself and it’ll be the best one (whoever had the best cheer was winning like an ice cream day or something idk). And then like…literally five minutes before the rally she just hands us signs with the letters and was like ‘we’re just gonna spell out Phillies it will be cute won’t it my strudels???’. We were the weakest class there, predictably. I think we lost to the kindergarteners. There might still be a video online of me yelling “ i “ passionately at the top of my lungs. It was online bc our cheer was so bland the news crew cut it out of the broadcast.

I literally can’t say enough about how she never taught us anything. She’d be going on some tangent about how she doesn’t understand the science behind skiing, and I’d be like “Okay yes but please can you just tell me where Romania is on a map???” And she’d start fights whenever someone actually wanted to learn. It was so easy to get her angry but so hard for her to stay on topic. Kids started teaching the class themselves! Like seriously, she’d be rambling and one of us would just go up to the podium, open the teacher’s guide textbook and just start reading out loud and talking over her. By the time she noticed we’d be halfway through a lesson. And we understood it better than when she tried! You know something’s wrong when pre-teens are more qualified for a job than an adult who supposedly went to school for this.

We were in the church having run-throughs for our upcoming Confirmation and she almost set the church on fire…fifteen different times. In less than half an hour. How hard is it to hold a candle?

Okay, and here’s when stuff starts kicking up. It was October 28th, a Tuesday, and it was our last day of school that week because they were having parent-teacher conferences the rest of the week. So we were just hanging out, watching movies in class and reading (lord knows we weren’t learning), and Stubel calls me over to her desk.

So like, she had given everyone little bags with candy for Halloween, but I get up there and she hands me an extra one. And she’s like “Molly I know your birthday is tomorrow and I bought you a present but I left it on my coffee table this morning by accident! So just have the candy for now!”

And I’m like….”Ma’am I’m like, the sixth birthday this year. You didn’t give anyone else presents?”

And she goes “Oh, I know but this is a special secret surprise. I just know you’re gonna love it! Do you wanna stop by my house later this week to pick it up or should I just give it to you Monday after school?”

And like…In writing this sounds like a non-threatening exchange, and like, it was, but I felt so uncomfortable holy shit. I’m looking over my shoulder and shooting my friends SOS signals. Something about this felt so weird in my gut omfg. I told her thanks and I’d just see her Monday.

So we flash forward to Wednesday- my 13th birthday, the day the Phillies won the world series, and also the day my mother innocently strolled into the school for her meeting only to be met with screaming, the sound of heavy destruction, and the school secretary Mrs. Daily running at her in a panic, waving her arms and yelling “YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED GET IN MY OFFICE NOW!”

So my poor mother, who thought she could handle this whole meeting in a few minutes and barely be an hour late for work, is now barricaded in the front office with the school secretary, as the noises from down the hall get louder and louder. The woman explains that they had gotten so many complaints about Mrs. Stubel that this morning, when she got to the school, the principal Sister Patricia called her in and said “Listen, we need you to be professional and still have the parent conferences, but we have to let you go. We just don’t think you fit in well here, and the kids need to come first and feel comfortable in their school.” and like, I’m paraphrasing because I wasn’t there, but we all know she was very polite and professional about it.

Mrs. Stubel, however…was not.

She flipped her chair and stormed out of the office, and locks herself in the seventh grade classroom. She started wrecking the shit out of that place, screaming obscenities and the top of her lungs, they had to call the cops on her! She was locked in there for almost an hour! And let me just give you a nice little list of everything she did in that classroom:

  • Smashed three windows.
  • Threw everything off her desk and carved swear words all over it.
  • Got cleaning fluid that she knew would damage the chalk boards, smeared it all over.
  • Cracked the chalk boards by repeatedly smashing chairs against them.
  • Wrote swear words all over the walls and on desks
  • Went into students desks, ripped up their books.
  • Stole my glasses. (which were in my desk bc I only used them in class at the time)
  • Threw some desks around.
  • Carved swear words into the boards. (there was so much carving I’m assuming she just had a knife on her person, which has to lead to the question, did she have a knife on her while she was in class with us?)
  • Physically ripped the hooks to hang backpacks on out of the wall.
  • Knocked the closet door off it’s hinges.
  • Ripped up all the books in the bookcases and threw their pages all around the room.
  • Wrote lewd phrases inside student’s desks.
  • Broke multiple chairs.
  • Used her podium as a battering ram against the wall that’s in front of where the backpacks go. (the wall won but Damage Was Inflicted)
  • Set a fire in the trash can.
  • When the principal and other teachers started trying to get in, she tossed her rolling chair at the door to scare them off.
  • She was screaming curse words at the top of her lungs the entire time, and cursing the school and the kids and the principal and the church in general, and the school building was small, so all the parents and the smaller children that had to come to the meetings (who were locked in their respective classrooms in fear) heard everything.
  • So much more? But it’s 4:30 in this morning and this list is already long.

So my mom is in the front office and deadass the

entire police force

shows up, running down the hallway to the classroom yelling at her to stop, and it takes a while for them to get her out holy shit. They knocked down the door and she tried to escape out of one of the broken windows! But they got her and dragged her out.

So of course, in such a small school with very involved parents this shit spread like wildfire. The entire town knew within the day. The poor principal called the newly retired old-seventh grade teacher and was like “So we…need some help” and the lady was like “I already heard I’ll be there Monday” omfg. I remember I got a text from one of my classmates saying “if your birthday wish was for us to be set free from the beast I love you” omfg.

So, we eventually go back to school on Monday and everyone’s buzzing. The principal has us go to the cafeteria and she ‘delicately’ explains the situation, and that the old teacher is coming out of retirement for us, the school has a restraining order against Mrs. Stubel now and that she’s sorry we had to deal with this mess. Our classroom had to go under some heavy reconstruction before we could be let back in there, so for like two weeks we alternated between the cafeteria and the preschooler’s classroom, we had no books or anything, just provided loose-leaf paper and pens. It was like, surreal, but everyone was just so happy to be rid of her and to be in the presence of a competent teacher omfg. We eventually were able to get back into our usual classroom.

  1. It took a while for things to go completely back to normal, though. After the big spectacle she made, for weeks after she was fired we were all very scared of the possibility of Mrs. Stubel returning to the school with a gun in hand. It was always a topic we whispered about at lunch with wide eyes and shivers. Like…genuine nightmare scenario.
  2. About two weeks after she was fired, a boy in the back of the classroom gasped loudly during SSR, and when we all looked at him, he whispered in anger “She never gave us our freakin’ strudels!”
  3. About three months after she was fired, we were lined up at the door to go to Library when a few of us looked through the windows and saw something darting through the trees. It was fast and we couldn’t make anything out, so we let it drop. When the class and teacher returned half and hour later, the book she had borrowed months before from one of the boys was sitting on his desk. It was just laying there, the room was silent, nothing had been disturbed…but I have never seen a book look so threatening. People were freaking out. Someone kept insisting that she turned the book into a bomb. No one figure out how she got in the school, and no one could figure out how she got it on the right desk, as we had switched the seating arrangement since she had last been there.  
  4. A full six months after she had left, it was nearing the end of the school year and our class was dicking around during our last computer class. Someone found a website (that we weren’t allowed to be on) that pulls up any police records attached to whoever’s name you enter, so someone decided to search Mrs. Stubel as a joke. We ended up finding out she had like six DUI’s.

Aaaaand that’s the story of the horrendous teacher I had for two months in 7th grade. One of my favorite party stories but tbh she still haunts me™ .

Dating Zach Dempsey would include :

- lots of PDA, everywhere. He’s not ashamed to show everyone that you’re his, not a all. It doesn’t have to be too sexual though, he just likes to hold your hand or having you close to him

- Him always trying to make you smile

- He’s honestly the cutest dork

- Zach had to beat Bryce’s ass more than once because of his inappropriate comments about you

- Him secretly sneaking in your bedroom pretty much every night and leaving early in the morning after cuddles, causing him to be tired during the whole day at school

- He often missed his trainings because of that

- Being the reason why he often ditches his plans with the guys

- You’re the first person that comes to his mind when he needs to talk

- You’re basically the mom of the boys group

- Telling Bryce that he’ll end up in jail because of all the bullshits he does

- Hanging out a lot with Justin after school because he always makes you laugh which makes Zach extremely jealous

- Zach and the guys were watching the both of you laugh

- When you go ask him what’s up he gives you the silent treatment

- He avoids your gaze, only answers with Hmm.

- You eventually get that he’s jealous and hug him by behind as tightly as you can, and he tries to shove you away but you literally turned into a giant koala

- “(Y/N) stop.“  ”I won’t move unless you tell me what’s wrong

- He loudly sighed

- ”You’re always with Justin.“  ”Awh. Is my baby jealous ?you asked playfully as you kissed his neck, making him turn his head to the side.No. And don’t call me that.“  ”What ? Baby ?you mocked him.Stop.he tried to sound like he was mad.Baby, baby. You’re my baby.He sighed again and bit his lip to hide his smile.God you’re annoying.You snuggled your face in his neck and circled it as you left kisses on his skin. Zach, you’re the only one I’m in love with. You and only you. I love you. you said before leaving a kiss on his cheek. He sighed, smiled and finally took one of your hands and brought it to his mouth before leaving a kiss on it.I love you too idiot.

- Let’s say that the guys wouldn’t stop mocking you after that

- Wearing his jersey and attending all his games

- ”WOOO! THAT’S MY BOY, YOU GO BABY

- Catching all the attention on you doesn’t bother you at all, fuck everyone

- Keeping his little sister with him when his parents are out

- Him watching you in awe as you listen to her sister talking about her friends while she tries to bread your hair

- His sister absolutely loves you and always asks Zach about you

- Zach being pretty sure that you’ll end up married in the future

- You always being there for him, even more when he discovers the tapes

- Receiving drunk texts of him when you can’t be at one of Justin’s party

- You calling Alex and asking him to keep an eye on Zach, just in case he does stupid things

- You’re the one who explains to Justin that Jessica won’t take him back and that you completely agree with her, but that you’ll still be there for him, no matter what

- Justin hugging you really tightly after that and of course, Zach saw it.

- But he quickly calmed down when you tell him why you shared a hug

- Having one of his shirt that you always bring with you on holiday so when you sleep you can smell his scent as if he was with you

- Having tons of adorable, funny, cute, awkward and weird selfies of the other in your phones

- Zach pouted when he discovered the awkward selfie of him as your lock screen but he secretly loved it

- You don’t fight often but when you do it’s like a "let’s see who can hurt the other the most” game

- Which results as you both not talking for a day

- Then he sends you a pic of him with a pouting face with and a “don’t you wanna  talk to your favorite idiot ? :(” text

- “I love you.” *kiss on your lips* “So” *kiss on your nose* “Fucking” *kiss on your cheek* “Much.” *kiss on your forehead*

- Him being a fool for you

- Bear hugs

- Hands holding

- Unexpected gifts from the both of you

- Helping him preparing his biology tests

- You once offered him your pen that just ran out of ink and said “It reminded me of how empty your brain can be sometimes

- Justin died of laughter that day

- He pouted all day

- You’re just the cutest couple of all times

- Everyone ships you

- You’ve been elected the king and queen of the prom

Originally posted by pitterpratter

–> DATING ALEX STANDALL WOULD INCLUDE <–

Each house when: it's their last day at Hogwarts
  • Gryffindor: Does That Stupid But Awesome Thing they held back doing for 7 years like trying to ride the Giant Squid (and they succeed)
  • Hufflepuff: Throw the party of the year in the kitchens with all the other Puffs (Sprout even brings some homemade Butterbeer but shh *wink wonk*)
  • Ravenclaw: Brings a bouquet to Mrs Pince with an apology note for all the times they’ve been late to turn a book in. (They probably still have one in their trunk though).
  • Slytherin: Goes say a super awkward but genuinely respectful goodbye at McGonagall that makes her question her dislike for the house (Snape makes sure she remembers in september though)
ask and you shall receive | one (m)

[credit.] 

pairing: jung hoseok x reader, sugar daddy! hoseok
genre/warnings: smut, lots of oral, slow burn, dirty talk, dom! hoseok
words: 13,865
summary: your sugar daddy says you don’t have to sleep with him if you don’t want to…trouble is, you do want to. You’re just nervous and a little inexperienced, but he catches on quick and begins to teach you the true pleasures of sex, and boy, are they good…

 a/n: in the end I had to split this into two parts rip. It was already nearly 14k with just one smut scene haha. but oh well, that means more detail for part two…

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JUNE 8TH UK SNAP ELECTION

This is not a drill

The Tories are planning to carry out a snap election to determine leadership for the next four years. It has been almost 40 years since we last had one and they are often called by the ruling party in a time that they believe is best for them in order to galvanize their position in government.

This is based on their own interpretation of public opinions and chances of victory. In other words, they are very confident of 4 more years of Tory oppression.

But we CAN prove them wrong!

Please, make sure to spread the word, make sure people are registered to vote and keep up to date with policies and mandates that will be put forward.
Its only day one and already things are firing up, so lets keep that momentum and bring about some goddamn change for the better here.

Originally posted by knightlley

turning me on | jeff atkins

anon request: can i request a jeff atkins imagine with #8 and #33? maybe jeff took his girlfriend (reader) to a party with him and you could take it from there. thank you!

8) “you’re turning me on.”

33) “come sit on my lap.”

warnings: fluff, almost smut

a/n: ok but that gif is so hot. FIRST IMAGINE OF MY BBY <3

Keep reading

Papi-Chulo-Bucky Masterlist!

Series:

Let’s Pretend (NSFW) - Tony finds a website of two shape shifting mutant pornstars who make their living impersonating the Avengers on their website and decides to show the team. - FINISHED

Delta (NSFW) [A/B/O] Reader is a rare being in the a/b/o cycle and finds herself along side the Avengers. She manages to hide her true nature successfully until she catches the eye of a certain blue eyed super soldier. -FINISHED

Panic Cord - Reader is a blind person living in New York, when one day she’s saved by a mysterious man with a metal arm who shows her that seeing isn’t always believing. 

All American Asphyxiation (NSFW) - Reader convinces Bucky into a Dom/Sub relationship in order to help each other form stability in their lives. - FINISHED

Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (NSFW)- Reader signs up for an online app similar to Omegle, but little does she know that she’s talking to the one and only Sebastian Stan. 

Haunting Me (NSFW) - Reader is a normal young adult living in New York, but little does she know that she’s a reincarnation of the long lost Bucky Barnes’ fiance from the 1940′s. What happens when she runs into Steve in 2012? Most importantly, what happens when she runs into The Winter Soldier? (Bucky x POC Reader)

Siniy Reader is an Avenger, but unlike them, she’s not a demi god, millionaire, super soldier, or a science experiment. She’s got a whole other dilemma: she’s not of this world. Things happen, and she finds herself on the run with Team Cap in Bucharest, along with catching the eye of Bucky Barnes.

Holy Ghost  (NSFW) - Reader is a wallflower working as a waitress in Los Angeles to pay her tuition. One night, after a heavy flirting session, a mysterious man known as Clay Apuzzo, leaves her a gracious tip, along with his phone number and a note offering her to be his sugar baby.

One Shots:

Nicknames (NSFW)Reader tells the team of her cute little nickname for a certain super soldier.

Demonstrate (NSFW) Part 1|Part 2 -  Reader is a newbie pornstar, about to take on her first gig at Stark Industries. When she learns she’s working with porn legend Bucky Barnes, she’s in for a wild ride.

It’ll Last Longer (NSFW)After being gifted a Polaroid camera, Bucky becomes infatuated with taking pictures. Reader finds out that Bucky likes to take pictures of her, leading them to discovering Bucky’s camera kink.

Pursuit of Happiness -  After witnessing your boyfriend Bucky’s struggle with anxiety, you take it upon yourself to help him by any means necessary.

Dazed and Confused - Reader suffers a traumatic event that leads to her having insomnia. Tony offers her a certain “herbal solution” which leads to a very unexpected result. 

Reminisce - Bucky and his son reminisce about your relationship, which leads your son to revealing a big secret to his father. 

Bad Things (NSFW)For her twenty first birthday, Reader’s friends take her to a male strip club in hopes of giving her a good time. When the most famous dancer there, The Winter Soldier offers her a private dance, things get heated.

Daddy’s Girl (NSFW) - Reader brings Bucky back home to her hometown for Christmas to take the next big step in their relationship: meeting your family. After arriving early, you decide to have some fun with your boyfriend. What happens when you guys realize you’re not the only ones home?  

Or Nah (NSFW) -  Reader and Bucky are doing their routine workout before an extremely important mission, which doesn’t go as planned when Bucky shows her his own little playlist he made.

Promiscuous Boy Reader and Bucky share a very heated dance after consuming way too many drinks at Tony’s party, which leads to a very surprising ending.

Requests: 

Beggin’ For Thread (NSFW) - Reader steals some of Bucky’s boxers during laundry day. But when he goes to her for comfort from a thunderstorm, he gets a pleasant surprise.

And I Drove You Crazy (NSFW) - Reader’s bike needs to be repaired asap, leading her to come across an insanely gorgeous mechanic whom she may or may not want to bang the second she lays eyes on him.

Sweet Like Candy (NSFW) - After planning an entire day to spend with you (and confess his feelings towards you) Bucky’s plans are disrupted when Sam steals all of his clothes.

Fire (NSFW) - Reader and Bucky Barnes just don't get along at all. She thinks hes too brooding and a total try hard, and he thinks shes a pampered bitch. After one heated fight on the quinjet that ends up going way too far.

Cherry Bomb  (NSFW) - Reader takes Bucky out for milkshakes, which leads to some very naughtiness when she shows him she can tie a cherry stem with her tongue. 

Double Tap (NSFW) - After a disappointing night out, Sebastian and Reader have some naughty fun with Instagram Live. 

Body Language (NSFW) - Reader and Bucky have been in a relationship for a while, and she’s ready to take the relationship to the next level. But Reader has a small problem: she’s deaf.

Rising Signs When Drunk

Aries: loud af, super fun, changes the music and dances by themselves, sometimes a bit of a dick (in the BEST WAY POSSIBLE), makes everyone dance with them, the one usually to come up with an idea to ride down a hill on some cardboard they found (SO FUN), probs will steal a sign

Taurus: probs drunk eating or hanging out in the kitchen, always on the look out for food or a snuggle, really well dressed and presented, super touchy and affectionate (often they’re not super affectionate), SUPER giggly lmao, almost a mom-friend but if you’re not a CLOSE friend they rly will not give a fuck, will very likely take off their clothes bc they feel so restricted

Gemini: giggly as hell, absolute SHIT talker, could probably win a debate with their confidence when drunk, tends to like run away, ditzy and off the planet entirely, somehow manages to talk with everyone at the party, doesn’t really remember their names, accidentally flirty but only bc they are on their own level

Cancer: Super mom-friend if you’re a close pal, will not give a fuck if you’re not close, really loves food, tends to be super fun and captivating, really social and flirty, doesn’t take it anywhere though so when it gets more than flirty they kinda just… leave that situation, can get offended rly quickly but also as quickly is laughing in the centre of the room

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SANA AND ELIAS TALKED ABOUT YOUSEF. AND HE TOLD HER THAT LIKE, YEAH I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE HIM AND IT’S OKAY, HE’S A GREAT GUY. AND SANA WAS LIKE ‘BUT HE’S NOT MUSLIM’ AND ELIAS WAS ALL “YOUSEF IS THE MOST MUSLIM GUY I’VE MET. HE DOESN’T DRINK. HE HAS A GOOD HEART’ ETC. “BUT HE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN ALLAH’ ‘DOESN’T BELIEVE IN ALLAH…LISTEN WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. GO AROUND AND SAY THAT YOU BELIEVE IN ALLAH, OR LIVE LIKE YOU BELIEVE IN ALLAH. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR ME IS FOR MY SISTER TO BE HAPPY” “BUT MOM DOESN’T SEE IT LIKE THAT” “MOM JUST CARES FOR YOU. AND SHE GREW UP IN A DIFFERENT TIME AND IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY”


AND THEN ELIAS IS ALL “I DON’T LIKE TO SEE YOU SAD BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SAD” “I’M NOT SAD”

AND THEN SANA INVITES ELIAS TO THE PARTY AND TELLS HIM TO BRING YOUSEF.

Thought on Altean Pools....

I’ve been pondering over the infamous pool scene we got in season 2 and trying to come up with a reasonable explanation on why the hell Altean pools are upside down. And the only logical thing I can thing of is that for Alteans, pools are only used in a decorative fashion- not for actual recreational use as Lance and Keith both thought. I mean look again at the room…

Look at all that empty space! I imagine that it’s very possible that the so-called ‘pool’ room once actually functioned as a private party room, complete with a pretty, shimmering reflective ceiling that would look absolutely gorgeous in dim lighting.

Which brings up another point- that there is a good possibility that Alteans can’t swim.

No, think about it. We know that Atlea does not have rain from the conversation that Lance and Coran had, but we know from Allura’s memories that Atlea has an abundant plant-life so it’s possible that the water they receive come from harder to reach locations such as glaciers or ground water, but they don’t have rivers, streams, and lakes like Earth does- easy access water that have allowed humans to venture into learning how to swim to adapt and survive. 

So with this new information, I wonder what Allura and Coran were thinking when Keith and Lance found out about the pool room from them? Did they think the boys were interested in the ceiling artwork?xD

Malec Fanfic Rec!

Malec writing goodies from amazing writers.These are some golden works

4 times Alec almost said I love you, and the one time that he actually did by sufferingbisexual

Alec realized he was in love with Magnus. However when will he be able to actually tell him.

Across the Hall by clato27

“'She looks just like your wife,’ Magnus said, offhandedly. His gaze tore back to Alec when he heard the other man choke on the coffee he was drinking. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, are you two not married.’ 'Uh, no,’ Alec said after recovering from his coughing fit. 'Izzy is my sister.'”

Aka, the “I fell in love with the pregnant girl across the hall’s brother” AU.

Addicted To You by @imawriteriwrite

Magnus Bane’s the head of his own company. Alec Lightwood is in his last year of law school. They’ve never met but have one thing in common: neither does relationships. Just one night stands. That is until they find themselves matched on a hookup app and suddenly one night is not enough.

Also known as the one where Magnus and Alec meet and think they can have no strings attached sex and not develop feelings.

Alecs Husband by NotEvenThat

Max misses Alec and finally demands that he go with Alec and his friend.. Even if Mom says no.

Amor Aeternus by @lolguess

In a world where the Clave encourages soulbonding you would think Magnus and Alec have it easy.

And Then I Met You by @everydayfandom

Sometimes someone comes along and throws you of your life path. And sometimes that’s not such a bad thing.

Bibliophile by @dorkberto

Despite what his sister thinks about his non-existent love life, Alec is not in danger of an oncoming descent into recluse crazy cat owner. For one; Church would eat his competitors for Alec’s undivided attention and two; Alec’s a little hung up over Magnus Bane.

Blue storm by @dorkberto

Ragnor was gone.

Ragnor was gone

Bright Lights, Small Town by @lecrit

When Magnus gets to Nashville, Indiana to handle his late mother’s will, he doesn’t expect to be forced to stay there for six months. Six months away from New York and lost in the wildness of the countryside.

It quickly appears that he is going to go through six months of living hell.

The fact that he hates the local veterinarian on sight isn’t helping.

Broken Arrows by @gibberish10

Over his parabatai’s missing, Alec lashes out at everyone, including Magnus Bane, his warlock lover.

Come Undone by @gibberish10

No one has asked him how he felt, but Alec did.

Complete Me by Maleciseverything

“What one loves in childhood stays in the heart forever.” -Mary Jo Putney

Drop It Like It’s Hot by @janoda

Alec tries to deal with people behaving differently since the wedding. He hadn’t counted on Dylan from Accounting.

Fusion by prfctdaze

Magnus gets the surprise of his life when he walks in to Jade Wolf.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful by @themagnusbane

The thing about having lived for centuries is that birthdays are no longer such a big deal. A pity no one told that to Magnus Bane’s party extraordinaire boyfriend: Alec Lightwood.

Hold me tightly by Tchell1

“I thought you had died, Alexander” Magnus finally said as a way of explaining himself “I saw you die”

Hypnotise by highlytrainedfangirl

Alec had a problem. One that was wrapped up in exquisite clothing and dusted in glitter. Alec was quickly realising that being around Magnus was terrible for his composure. Ignoring the fact that he could barely string a sentence together without tripping over his words, he’d discovered a new distraction: magic.

I found God but it wasn’t supposed to be by @intangibel

After closing a particularly spectacular legal case Magnus sends Ragnor a celebratory text only to find himself the victim of autocorrect and having to explain to a very handsome angel (Alec) that he isn’t God, no matter how much he wishes he was right now.

In The Cards by Obssesivecompulsivereadr

Magnus wore cardigans and baggy slacks. He owned two cats, and he lived in a home more suitable for an elderly mundane woman for a reason. He was to remain boring and unsuitable for most associations with people. He did not like attention, no matter how positive it might be. He was to seem eccentric and weird. Living a life focused on magic that was supposed to not exist.

Into You by @darrenchristsupastar

Alec has more layers than we may have previously thought

It’s Time To Lose Your Virginity, Brother Dearest by @themagnusbane

Magnus Bane is a famous stripper, used to pretty boys falling in love with him after one dance. The feeling is hardly ever mutual. But when he meets the freshly turned twenty-one year old Alec lightwood, he can’t take his eyes off him, and they find themselves in love quicker than they expected.

Looking at him by @jainsel-and-the-ships

Alec Lightwood is in love with his best friend and colleague Jace.
Jace is straight and at the moment he’s dating this Clary girl. Alec is certain it won’t last, as all his friend’s previous relationships.
Then there’s Magnus Bane, another co-worker and a man who sure knows how to make Alec feel embarrassed.
Something’s going on between Alec and Magnus.
Something’s going on between Jace and Clary too…

Magic and Rum by NotEvenThat

Shortly after the party, Magnus finds Max in the kitchen.

Make a home out of you by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion

“There is a delicate system in place and you are destroying it, Alexander Lightwood. Unhand my pants.”

“Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear you say. You’re usually encouraging me to put my hands on your pants.”

Morning hair by @lollylokoala

While Magnus was completely aware of the effect Alec had on him, he didn’t know that a tiny little detail in Alec’s morning look could make his heart skipped a beat.

My Heart Smiles by pseudofoucault333 

Magnus is an interior designer who is dreading going to his yearly Christmas party and Alec a waiter who has dealt with more than enough Christmas cheer to last a lifetime. But when the two set eyes on the other across a crowded restaurant are they going to be destined for more when the festive season is over?

My True Love Gave To Me by @imawriteriwrite

Magnus Bane had a plan, a perfect Christmas Eve just like always. Hang out with his friends, bask in the Christmas Spirit. Then everything went wrong.

Now he’s stuck reliving the same day again and again and again. The bright side? Maybe Alec Lightwood isn’t as terrible as Magnus always thought.

Never Stand Between Two Mirrors by @oncethrown

Alec has enough on his plate right now. His parents are furious at him, Magnus Bane is making him feel things he’s trying so hard not to feel, his wedding is coming up, and his world is breaking apart.What he doesn’t need is a fussy mundane version on himself showing up in the Institute basement. What he doesn’t need is Magnus telling him that they’ll just have to wait for Seelie Magic to suck that version of himself back to his own dimension.But since when does Alec get what he needs?

Alternate Dimension Alec gets trapped in the Shadowhunter reality at some point after the “I know you feel what I feel” scene. The gang desperately tries to stop chaos from ensuing. 

Nothing But A Distraction by @actuallyredorchid

Clary doesn’t sneak away when Alec’s on the phone, so Alec accepts Magnus’ invitation to “go out for a drink”.

Off to a bad start by @fangtasticsaphael

“How did you manage to never run into him? He’s always helping with stuff and he’s even been at the institute about three weeks ago to strengthen the wards against further attacks from Valentine,” she replied and looked at her brother incredulously. Alexander scrunched up his nose and shrugged.

“Well, maybe I have better things to do than waiting around to watch some overrated warlock do magic tricks,” he commented a little defensively but it was the truth. He always had something to do and even when they were not out demon hunting, he had either paperwork to do or train.

“Pardon me, but I’m not just some overrated warlock. I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn and that title is well deserved, if I may say so. And I’m appalled that you refer to my magic as petty tricks. You Nephilim always act to high and mighty, yet you’re constantly in need of some tricks from overrated warlocks to help you out of some unnecessary dilemma,” a foreign voice interjected and Alec whirled around, fingers instinctively curling around his bow to be ready to attack if need be. The owner of the voice was not what Alexander had expected, to be honest.

Oh lover, hold on by @fireblazie

The mask and goggles clatter to the ground. Isabelle makes a choked noise, and Jace whispers, paper-thin, “Alec?”

Magnus stops breathing as Alec’s gaze—cold, dead, and empty—comes to rest impassively on them.

“Who the hell is Alec?”

(Loosely based on Captain America: The Winter Soldier.)

One Show Only by KouriArashi

It’s hard to stay in the closet when the guy you had a one-night stand with two nights ago turns out to be your new partner … but Alec will be damned if he isn’t going to give it a try.

People say crazy things by @ohlafraise

“But what I don’t get is why Magnus cares so much about a random shadowhunter,” Jocelyn said.

Simon winced. “Oh, boy.”

Pick up lines by Gracefanfics

Admittly maybe using pick up lines in the middle of your brother’s rune party was a bad idea.

Or 
A short fic about Alec not having great timing in using pick up lines on Magnus.

Shooting Pool by @malec-is-pretty

Magnus and Alec go on their date and a simple game of pool gets them a little wound up.

Somewhere safe to finally break by onefootintheboilinghotlava

With the war finally over, Magnus had time to be alone and his mind decided to bring up all the things and people he had lost in the war at once. At his own loft, with his two beloved cats sleeping soundly, Magnus broke down……

Tampons and Concealer? By onefootintheboilinghotlava

So Izzy sent Alec to get tampons and concealer…Alec was standing in the drugstore, not even sure where to begin, when a handsome stranger offered to help.

That’s your cue by @theleftboobgrabber

“Keep your hands to yourself,” Alec tells Magnus apropos of nothing.

Magnus frowns. “I’m on the other side of the table!” he protests… not that he wasn’t thinking about some light groping per say, but they’re in public, Alec might not be into it and, while he’s good at concealing it, Magnus does have manners. Sometimes.

My take on Magnus and Alec’s date.

The Choices of the Chosen by KouriArashi

The day after his 21st birthday, Alec is sent to the demonic court as a gladiator, where he makes both friends and enemies … along with meeting Magnus Bane, who doesn’t seem to fit in either category.

The Only Magic I Believe In (Is The Magic I Receive From Loving You) by @delilahbelle

Or, four gifts Alec gives Magnus.

“No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.”

Alec’s face softens. “Well, I’m going to do it for as long as I’m alive. So get used to it.”

The Second Kiss by @simonseroticfriendfiction

“So here we are.” Magnus said, taking a step closer to Alec.

Alec gulped and took a deep breath in through his nose. “Yeah, here we are.” He squeezed his fingers nervously in his fists as he caught Magnus glancing towards his lips. “I-I suppose you want me to kiss you?” He stuttered, voice faltering.

This Christmas (You’re Someone Special) by vulturemonem 

Last Christmas, Magnus Bane had his heart broken.

Again, and again, and again.

And he didn’t think it would be mended anytime soon. He certainly didn’t think he’d be ready to let anybody in. Until a beautiful boy walks into his shop, and steals his breath with shy glances, kind words, and a fantastic coffee machine.

Maybe this Christmas will be better.

Or: In which Camille is awful, Ragnor and Raphael are an old married couple, and Magnus can’t help but be enamoured by Alec Lightwood.

This Night Is Not Forever by @isabellebiwoods

Alec Lightwood is a happily settled down man in a loving, caring relationship. But things weren’t always that way… and once upon a time, Alec used his Valentine’s Day to celebrate the spirit of the night as much as possible.

aka. world inverted legendary lothario alec lightwood

Too Much is Never Enough by Obsessivecompulsivereadr

They are on opposite edges of the same ideal. Alec so young, and Magnus so much older. Alec a blessed acolyte of the Angel, Raziel. Magnus the abandoned son of the Greater Demon, Asmodeus. Magnus with so much more unimportant and irrelevant experience, and Alec with none. They could not be more different if they tried, and yet, they are also the same. A matched set of uncertainty and inability to accept that someone might want them for exactly who they are.

Top Three by @nebulein

So.” Alec flops back onto the bed, sprawled in a lazy heap on his back, sated and boneless. Magnus is already lying on his belly, basking in the afterglow, and he surreptitiously steals closer, burrowing against Alec’s side. “Best sex of my life.”

Magnus hums, resting his head on his arms, revelling in the thrill those words send through him.

“Or, well,” Alec hazardously waves an arm around, “easily in the top three.”

Magnus giggles. He has no idea where that came from. It’s uncharacteristic for him. Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn is usually much too dignified to giggle. But then Alec turns his head and grins at Magnus, lopsided and loopy but brilliant, oh so brilliant, warming Magnus from the inside out and maybe this is exactly the kind of situation which calls for a giggle, so Magnus will allow it. Just this once.

“How about you?”

Twenty-One-Year-Old Alec Lightwood by Obsessivecompulsivereadr

Alec tries not to want Magnus, but it goes about as well as all those other things Alec’s tried not to want throughout the years. Which is… badly

Warm In Your Light by @actuallyredorchid

It’s far too easy, letting himself be swept away.

(S02E07 missing scene)

We must choose to reach out and touch by Ambros

Magnus holds out his hand, a silver chain running around his middle finger and wrist, and Alec doesn’t have the time to process it – to think, doesn’t have the time to realise what’s going to happen because he has to take it and he does, electricity dancing through their fingers and down his back and he tries not to think about it, holds out his own hand for Jace and feels unbalanced; he knows Jace’s touch, remembers it from roughing each other up when they were kids even though he tried to forget it, to turn it into a ghost when he understood, but Magnus’ is new and smooth and unassuming and he feels uncomfortable, doesn’t know what to do with it.

Who Ya Gonna Call? By @menckenschrestomethy

“You have to—“

“Help you?” Magnus filled in dryly.

Or: The Six Times Magnus helped someone, and the one time they try to help him

Will you be my best friend? Will you be my last? by @lightwoodlesbians

or the 'you pretended to be my partner bc my ex wouldn’t stop talking to me’ au

You Are Certainly My Poison of Choice by iktwabrokenbone

So there he was. Midnight, at a party. Preparing himself to do something with a guy. To spend one night getting all of this- this unspeakable desire out of his system. He needed to forget it before he made a mistake and ruined his career, his chances of becoming Head of the New York Institute.
 

(Alec’s panic attacks were getting worse and worse and maybe if he spent one night with a guy he could get it out of his system, and he could forget being gay and loving Jace. But nothing went that smoothly, so of course Alec’s one night stand had to be Magnus Bane, and they had to keep bumping into each other. It wasn’t like Alec wanted to understand his emotions, anyway.)

Tumblr played with me and there are some blogs that doesn’t show and there are some authors that I couldn’t find them here. So sorry.

3

After almost 100 years, the ACLU is diving into grassroots organizing. This is the agenda.

  • Since 1920, the American Civil Liberties Union has done one thing: lawyer up. The ACLU spent the past century tracking claims of unconstitutional injustice and bringing backup in the form of lawyers, wherever they’ve been able.
  • Now, after almost a hundred years, the ACLU is finally stepping out of the courtroom and into the streets.On Saturday, the ACLU launched “People Power,” a new grassroots organization that will turn newly activists into community leaders to fight back against President Donald Trump’s agenda. 

  • At a crowded stadium in Miami, with over 2,300 viewing parties watching live across the country, the ACLU’s leaders and top lawyers inaugurated a veritable army of volunteers to become a national grassroots network. Read more. (3/12/17 9:00 AM)

Things that the Kaiba brothers definitely do I swear
  • Hiccup when they laugh
  • Have a really annoying half-smirk
  • Spoil their friends rotten… secretly
  • Go 6 days without sleep and then crash for a solid 3
  • “Are you ticklish?”
    • both Kaibas, tucking their elbows into their sides “…no”
  • Cry at Disney movies. Neither of them can make it through Dumbo without shedding a few (read: lots of) tears
  • Go to orphanages and just kinda… kidnap them all… and take them to the toystore and say “get whatever you want, forget the price tag, I own this joint”
    • They do this independently and often unplanned
    • Once Yuugi and Jou were at Toys R Us and saw Seto in the middle of the card aisle, throwing a game against a 6 year old; two aisles over, Anzu caught Mokuba in toy handcuffs with two little girls pointing Nerf guns at him.
    • Mokuba just gets worse as he gets older. By the time he’s twenty he’s turned into a veritable Bruce Wayne and starts going up to Seto like “bro can I adopt this one”
  • Eat pizza with a fork
  • Hit ‘eject device’ before removing a USB
  • Can quote the entire first season of Avatar from memory
  • Paint their nails
    • Mokuba likes going with purple
    • Seto’s normally end up a shade of blue or white
  • Have full conversations in morse code
    • From separate ends of the house
    • It’s the only language they speak when they text
    • Sometimes Seto will be sitting at his desk, typing an email. Mokuba will be playing a game. They’re both silent, but they’re talking. If you follow the pattern of Seto’s keyboard and listen really close to the buttons on Mokuba’s console, they’re telling each other about how Kelsey in Algebra was a bitch today and they should have pizza for dinner
  • Are constantly each other’s dates for things
    • Business party? Sorry Angela, I’m going with my brother. School dance? Fuck off Kaitlyn, I’m bringing my kid sibling
  • Are attracted to pretty people who beat them at things
    • “Hey you looked pretty blushy around Yuugi today Seto” “Shut up Mokuba”
    • Mokuba, who just got beat up in gym class “SETO HOW DO I ASK SOMEONE OUT”
  • Have the voices of angels
    • At Karaoke? Don’t make Seto sing, he’ll charm the pants off everyone in the room
    • Mokuba was pretty much dragged out of band and into choir at school because let’s face it he was shit at trombone but he can sing higher than our sopranos and w e   n e e d   t h i s   c h i l d

idea: selina kyle as a reverse archeologist. she steals from museums and private collections and returns things to the shrines and graves where they belong. she brings a clay jaguar to monte alban and now she can talk to cats. the whip is because she’s indiana jones. batman makes half-assed attempts to stop her but it’s not like she’s wrong so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ he’s got violent crimes to deal with, what does he care if she’s stealing back smuggled relics from rich assholes. he met that guy at a party once and he was a huge asshole so fuck him. steal his toupee, too. it’s probably endangered. ‘oh no catwoman is escaping and there’s nothing we can do. robin sit back down. there’s nothing we can do. she’s taking that statue back to egypt and we have no possible recourse against this terrible nonviolent crime with a single dick victim. i am definitely really mad about this. i’ll fight her later, when you’re sleeping or at a friend’s house or something. you’ll understand when you’re older.’