things to bake

lil usnavi is a very good helper 

british baking/cooking shows in the final minute to 10 seconds: contestants continue to calmly finish their dishes/baked goods and casually comment on how anxious they are about how little time they have left

american baking/cooking shows in the final minute to 10 seconds: contestants screaming and panicking, running around, throwing things, making one last dash to grab a final ingredient, crashing into one another, etc.

how to make the best damn cake ever (if not the prettiest or healthiest):

  1. get a cake mix
  2. use milk instead of water
  3. +1 more egg than the directions say
  4. +½ stick (~55 grams) of butter more than the directions say
  5. bake for the minimum recommended time, add a couple more minutes if it’s not done. cake is done when you can stab it with a fork/knife and it comes out clean (no batter clinging to it)
  6. immediately after taking it out of the oven, poke lots of holes in the cake with a fork
  7. put icing on cake while it’s still hot so it soaks in
  8. you’re welcome
caring for your love's sign
  • aries: let them be in charge, remind them that you won't leave, give them space to release their boundless energy, never forbid them to speak their mind, promise them the world in return for their time, learn to move quick, don't be afraid to be bold and loud
  • taurus: touch them constantly, worship their lips and eyes and skin, give them perfume, carry them over a puddle, hold their umbrella for them as well as the door to the car or their home, massage them and tuck them into bed, listen to what no one else wants to hear them say
  • gemini: speak, listen, run after them if they leave, don't be afraid to shout or sing along, nudge them, tickle them, beat them playing video games over and over and over, playfight, race in the streets, laugh at their jokes, praise their ideas, never say no, always say yes, never stop moving and dancing and spinning, give them a million kisses a second
  • cancer: hold them tightly against your chest, press your lips to their ear, slow dance late into the night, kiss them deeply, make their bed, don't hold back, ever, speak from your whims and impulses, let them see the workings of your heart, let them read your mind, carry out your promises, ride the fights out with diligence, compromise, keep them close
  • leo: call them beautiful and handsome and adorable, compliment their flaws, lift them to the sky, forget yourself in their presence, bite their lower lip, paint them, write them immortal into your poetry, listen to the rhythm of their heart, show them off, tell everyone that they are yours
  • virgo: take care of yourself and your body first, don't ignore their signs and clues and hints and teases, respect their hard work, drown yourself in their stories and sweaters, make their home yours, be flexible and find leeway, forgive, forget, remember every date and every hour, cooperate, talk about your future, hold each other accountable, keep expectations high, don't fall into the slump of routine
  • libra: be polite and speak kindly, find their sweet spots, hold their hand, take them out at night all the way until the morning, dedicate songs to them, learn their hobbies, idealize and romanticize, be a spectator to their life, a witness to all their important moments, be their biggest fan and their closest confidant
  • scorpio: lock away their secrets, look them in the eyes, stare and hold and breathe, breathe into each other, mold yourself into them, spread yourself out, let them have all of you, drop away your walls, taste them and let them taste you, be honest, only honest, be your most instinctual self only for them, protect them with your strength and your love even if they forbid you to, fight for their attention, keep up
  • sagittarius: cherish your time together, make each moment exciting, be spontaneous, adventure together, support them consistently through their journey and obstacles, surprise them, build a tremendous array of inside jokes, play board games and take them to new places, never stop challenging them
  • capricorn: be their source of comfort and acceptance, show them your dedication, validate their emotions, take them seriously, watch movies together, find your routine, bake things for them, gift them self-care products and roses and chocolates, speak without restriction, love gently and carefully
  • aquarius: recognize their uniqueness, call them different, tell them they're nothing like you've ever seen or will see again, treat your love as if it's a once in a lifetime moment, minute, second, a beat, be their hope, give them attention, be patient, tread carefully around their heart, move slowly, then quickly, then all at once, be their best friend, their newfound family, but don't tie them down
  • pisces: change their world, flip it upside down, open their eyes to new ideas and worlds and feelings, make them laugh like no one ever has, tell them stories, be their muse, support their endeavors, remind them to keep going, wait for them patiently while they come back to reality, make everything feel wild and pure and unreal
  • *note: also check moon and venus*
More Hogwarts House Aesthetic
  • Gryffindor: Dancing ridiculously; procrastinating to no end; pounding music; thunderstorms; supermarket raids at midnight with their friends; bonfires; yelling across the room; outdoor concerts; complicated handshakes
  • Hufflepuff: Unexpected hugs from the back; cuddling in front of a fire; oversized sweatshirts; wind chimes; polaroids; cuddling in blankets; new recipes; baking at 2am; just cuddling in general; fairytales and short stories; wishing on dandelions
  • Ravenclaw: Playing an instrument or two or three; singing under their breath; finding people who listen to their book rants; study playlists; calligraphy; binge watching tv shows until 4am; ink splatters and unkept journals
  • Slytherin: Lighthearted teasing; sharing secrets; 3am texts; playing with their hair; leather jackets; museums; dark chocolate and sea salt; having someone who stays up with you on those restless nights
8

endless list of favorite relationships |→ sookie and rory

“Okay, I’ve got it from here, Sookie. I love you.

i found this post in my drafts and have ZERO memory of writing it (thank u alcohol) so im gonna put it in my queue lol
  • ok but imagine 
  • Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn’t tell them about Jack, thinks it’s for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible 
  • and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he’s been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys
  • and he talks about the team a LOT 
  • Jack’s one of his best friends and he’s just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack
  • (Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)
  • but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty’s always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky’s secret boyfriend. 
  •  the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who’s stolen Bitty’s heart
  • Bitty is both confused and mortified

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2

Hi guys! Since Beltane is right around the corner, I thought i’d share this cute orange cookie recipe, perfect for a spring treat 🌱✨🍊

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Why is there not a Subway for pasta?

Think about it
At first you pick your pasta - penne, fusilli etc

Then you pick what you want in it - chicken, chorizo, pepperoni etc and any extra - peppers, olives, mushrooms, sweet corn etc

Then you pick your sauce - tomato, tomato and herb, chilli and tomato etc

And then, cheese - Parmesan, mozzarella, cheddar etc

And finally - do you want it baked or not?

And you get a drink and either a side of salad or garlic bread.

Like WHY is this not a thing?

vld cast as monsters

WHY DO I DO THESE????!!!

  • So Keith’s a witch 
    • “Not a warlock, you dumbass, a witch. I don’t need entrails to actually do things, read a book for fucks sake.”
    • In case you didn’t notice, he gets all miffed about the comparison 
  • Allura’s a sorceress
    • The main difference is Keith basically needs a spell book (Lance calls it his cookbook, since he never really ‘casts’ things, just bakes potions) 
    • Allura doesn’t need a book, but she does have to say enchantments
  • Shiro’s a zombie
    • His family adopted Keith
    • Then a few years later he died
    • Keith went all witchy tying to get him back.
      • Obviously, Mr. and Mrs. Shirogane flipped but, eh, they got their son back so no biggie
    • TBH tho Shiro’s lost his arm so many time’s now that Keith’s given up on sewing a new one on him and just got him a prosthetic
  • Hunks a werewolf, comes from big family of them
  • Shay and her brother are were’s, too, but they were Turned, not born
    • Hunk’s family (nobles) don’t give a crap about all that
    • So they took Rax and Shay in when they could
  • Coran’s a seer
    • He’s prophetic and can actually tell what’s going on past all the illusions and glamour thrown around
    • Save for that, Coran’s normal
    • He met Alfor a little after Allura’s mom died and they kind of hit it off
      • He’s pretty much her second dad
  • Lance is mer
    • No, they don’t have tails 
      • they evolved from that eons ago, duh
      • They just control water and have gills, so they move the currents underwater to swim
    • His family lives by the beach near campus so everyone visits often
      • It’s funny cause Allura and Lance’s twin often try and see who can bewitch more people during parties
        • It’s crazy and Coran nearly dies every time
  • Matt’s a ghost
    • He didn’t die, he’s just in a coma, has been in one for a year or so now
    • He hangs out everyone since…
    • …Well…
    • …Let’s just say Keith done fucked up 
    • So now Matt’s tied to the college campus!
    • And he can’t leave whatsoever!
    • Great, huh?
      • “Keith, what the fuCK?!!!”
  • Speaking of college, everyone’s in the same fraternity … sorority … thing ..
    • Well, there’s no gender separation 
    • So it’s just everyone in the same building 
      • As they try not to kill each other and
        • Or blow up the entire campus
  • So one of the most annoying things they all have to deal with is Pidge
  • Kinda
    • So, Pidge is human and doesn’t know about the supernatural
      • Obviously
    • But because Pidge is mortal, they can’t find out about, well, everything
    • But they kinda did?
    • Oops
  • Anyways, it all started when Hunk and Lance brought Pidge home for a project
    • And Matt flipped his shit
      • “…Huh, now that you mention it, she does kind of look like you.”
    • So of course now everything is awkward
    • Hunk is all careful around Pidge, never really talking about his dorm and shit
    • Lance honestly didn’t change cause he’s an awesome liar 
      • Siblings + blackmail = a 100% guarantee he won’t spill the beans 
      • But Pidge will just suddenly look at him, all judgmental and stuff and he’s just like
      • Sweating bullets, like, what the fUCk Hunk how do you deal with this??
      • “I’m feeling something?? is this guilt??? why do I feel guilt?!?!?!”
    • Then there’s Allura and Shiro, who happen to be in a poly relationship with Matt as of second semester
    • One time Shiro almost spills the beans
      • “Honestly, your nothing like your broth - brochure! ….You’re nothing like your brochure?”
      • “…Thank you?”
      • *Allura screaming in the bg*
    • Eventually they all get over it and Pidge is allowed back in the dorm
      • Cause, ya know, they kicked them out for a bit
        • “This place is awesome! How do you apply?”
        • “………. Uh, I don’t really know, Hunk, uh … Lance?”
        • “Ya know, Hunk’d know more about it. He’s the one that got Shay and Rax in.”
        • “What?! I … RAX! Come explain?”
        • “…..fuck.”
    • And now Pidge just frequents the place
    • Sure, there’s weird things going on every other second
      • Like that one closet that Keith won’t let anyone into
      • Or when Shay and Rax get all crabby at random times of the month
      • Or like people including non existent entities in on conversations
      • Or perhaps those moments when random things start to move 
      • “… Why did that mug just … ??? … you know what? Fuck it. Hunk! Come here, I wanna blow shit up!”
    • Everyone manages to keep them in the dark for a whole six months
    • It’s a big project, just keeping Pidge from figuring things out
      • The main problem is because they’re fucking smart and don’t believe in coincidences
        • “No, Pidge, that glass didn’t move. Are you feeling okay?”
        • “No, Pidge, you didn’t just see Allura jump from the second story down without breaking a leg.”
        • “No, Pidge, Keith just really likes his book. Okay. He really likes his book.”
          • “…Is it some kinda kink?”
          • “…Sure. Yeah, let’s go with that.”
            • “Lance, why the fuck does Pidge think I have a fucking book kink?!!”
    • Allura casts a few masking spells and Keith manages to brew a few sealing potions for certain … areas of the dorm
      • But Pidge is sneaky
      • Not to mention immune to Wolfsbane
        • “What the literal fUCK?”
        • “Come on, it can’t be that bad.”
          • Te-he, it’s that bad
            • “Wolfsbane is the basis of all things, the foundation, the - the - the … the flour in cookies!! You can’t just leave the flour out of cookies!!”
            • “…You can still make cookies without flour.”
            • “But they’ll be fucking terrible cookies!”
    • Lance smooth talks them out of a few things, too
    • Turns up the charm and Mer’s his way outta things
      • At least, he tries to
      • But Pidge is ace
      • They don’t feel sexual attraction
        • “I can’t do anything! My voice doesn’t work, my charms don’t work, hell, I could flash them and they wouldn’t react.”
        • “Oh trust me, they’d react.”
    • And now Shay and Rax have to come up with stories about all their pills
    • Hunk, the lovable jerk, doesn’t need pills
      • But he does need to explain how he can grow a full on beard in two days
        • “…Blame my mom?”
    • Coran stops doing his freaky glowing eyes thing 
      • Well, he tries
      • He has a few … episodes when Pidge is around and boy
      • Those were fun to cover up
      • Turns out Pidge now thinks Coran’s big into theater and bright blue contacts
    • Even Shiro takes a few precautions
      • He re-sews his stitches nightly so they don’t fly off in the middle of Taco Tuesday
      • He drinks those disgusting potions Keith makes
        • “They keep your body healthy!”
        • “They taste like butt, Keith, like butt.”
      • He spritiz himself in perfume after Pidge notes that he “kinda smells like the earth
        • “Pfft! Smells like the earth? Yeah, that’s eau de coffin.”
        • “Matt, shut up.”
  • In the end, it’s actually Keith who finally spills their secret
    • You see … he and Lance were kind of making out
    • And Mer’s kinda … sorta … glow when they release endorphins
    • So Pidge walks into the living room unannounced and there’s Lance just
    • Sitting there
    • Glowing like a fucking angler fish
  • Covers blown just like that
  • They actually take it really well
    • “… So Lance is a mermaid?”
    • “Kinda.”
    • “And Allura’s a sorceress who’s over ten thousand years old?”
    • “Sort of.”
    • “And Shiro’s dead?”
    • “Oh definitely.”
    • “…Okay.”
  • So, yeah, Pidge now knows what’s going on around the house
  • And after a few quick spells, courtesy of Allura, they can see all the ~magic~ (rainbow, shiny, sparkly) they couldn’t before
    • That also means they can now see the fact that Keith has freaky ass veins after he brews a few potions
    • He can also see Lance’s gills
    • Oh, and the fact that Allura’s hair is fucking silver
      • “Holy shIT! ow the hell did I miss this?!!!”
        • “Uh, hello, Pidge, it’s me, Matt, you haven’t seen me in a year.”
  • But, of course, since Pidge knows now….
    • Hehehe
    • Oh boy
    • Buckle up, everyone
  • First come the questions
  • Everyone, and I mean everyone, had an hour long interrogation interview on how the hell they got away with all this shit
    • It involves lots of secrets, the occasional assassination, and  ~magic~ (rainbow, shiny, sparkly)
  • After that, Pidge pulled Shiro aside and had him explain how the fuck he’s alive
      • “So Keith … dug you up and force fed you a radioactive cockroach?”
  • Then comes Lance’s weird ass explanation of his powers
    • “Let’s see, I can make myself seem beautiful, though I already am~~~, I can breathe underwater, I can force involuntary drownings-”
    • “WHAT?!”
    • “-I can pitch my voice up to a C9, which is awesome cause it’s not even on the keyboard, and …. oh! And I can make people fall in love with me! That one’s fun.”
      • Which then, of course, leads to the awkward explanation of how he and Keith got together
        • “So, let me get this straight, you had a crush on him and he had a crush on you.”
        • “Yup.”
        • “But neither of you knew so Keith gave you a love potion, which then spurred you into pulling your charms and forcing him to fall in love with you.”
        • “Uh-huh.”
        • “And then he thought you didn’t like him so he voodoo’d you both?”
        • “Yup.”
        • “And now you’re technically soulmates with bound hearts?”
        • “Yeah … is that weird?”
        • “No, no, it’s perfectly normal - of course it’s weird, good god what the literal fuCK Keith?!”
  • They question Hunk next
    • The most they manage to get out of him as to how he does what he does it magic (~rainbow, shiny, sparkly~)
    • Shay and Rax don’t fair well, either
      • “I think I’d be more concerned about turning into an over glorified Chihuahua rather than exactly how it happens.”
      • “Speak for yourself. I always thought of myself as a Shih Tzu.”
  • Pidge tried with Allura but she dove right into runes and spells and they just zoned her out after fifteen minutes
  • Keith didn’t fair well either
    • “Why are you purple again?”
    • “…It’s an after effect.”
  • All in all:
    • Everyone is crazy
    • Allura and Lance blow up half of campus trying to make magical lush products
      • “Too much bomb, not enough bath.”
      • “Shut UP, Lance.”
    • Keith raised the dead
    • Again
    • Hunk accidentally runs around campus as both a wolf and a very, very naked man in the same night
      • Pidge was chasing after him with a net
    • Shay and Rax convince everyone to play spin the bottle and it ends with Keith and Lance actively making out in the corner while Shiro strips
    • Matt has managed to accidentally get kids ‘expelled’ ten different times due to his inadvertent need to poltergeist
    • Coran sees the future twice in one day and each time it included chicken nuggets, a thong, and one of Shiro’s detached limbs
    • They nearly destroy the world five times and save it once
    • That involved ketchup, a fourth wall break, and a klance fanfic written by Shay and Pidge

I wonder if hardcore fans of Jack found Bitty’s blog in his first/second year and stuck around for the occasional tweets or mentions of Zimmermann.

(And possibly learned valuable things about the baking of a pie)

I mean with Jack having 0 online presence while in Samwell and not being very accessible for online stalking, hardcore fans would totally resort to following friends/people around for some rare updates.

I wonder if some of those people realised which ‘straight boy’ Bitty had a crush on, and their heart totally went out for him because yeah. They get how somebody would develop a crush on Zimmermann.

And some of them would even be happy about Bitty 'moving on’ and finding somebody who returns his feelings.

Then some would insist Zimmermann has to be the bf because of the tweets and other obscure connections and basically there’s low key discourse about this.

And one wonderful morning when Bitty and Jack come out, and all the social medias are freaking out, some very smug people will be telling everybody they knew and start pulling out the receipts because finally, their time has arrived.

Don’t Stop Us Now

@softkent ‘s 14 Days of Love fic-a-thon, day 6: ruined surprises!

It all started because Katya decided to have mercy on Eric and let him take morning classes this semester. WGSS120 was an amazing class, Professor Atley had the coolest stories about how postwar industrialization led to compulsive female domesticity, and his seatmate wasn’t the worst thing to see at 9:30 AM every Tuesday and Thursday. He would have almost been dreamy if he had the slightest knack for small talk. As it was, Eric didn’t even have a name to go on, just intent blue eyes and an ass that even the baggiest of shorts couldn’t mask.

One day, Eric decided to drop a hospitality bomb on the guy and see if he could coax a response out of him. They were both consistently early to class, so Eric budgeted ten minutes for a brief chat before class started and turned to Cute Guy with a winning smile on his face.

“So how about that reading, huh? I thought it was fascinating how cake mix became a prestige thing- everyone in my family bakes, and I don’t think we’ve used a box mix in forty years.”

“Yeah,” the guy said, “I think it had something to do with the scientific advancements they made in food preservation for the troops. Shelf stabilization wouldn’t have been nearly as achievable in earlier years.”

Miraculously, once you got onto a clear subject, Cute Guy was actually a decent conversationalist. Eric found himself losing track of time as they dissected last night’s chapters of Marling.

“And the American National Exhibition anecdote!” he giggled. “Who can even tell the difference between Russian and American Coke?”

“I bet it’s easier with all of the Soviet Union breathing down your back. ‘Da, cola of Mother Russia is vkusno!’”

“Nice accent,” Eric told Cute Guy.

“Really? Thanks, I’ll have to tell Geno. He’s always knocking my Russian. He’s, uh, a friend of my dad’s, and we both play hockey.”

“So that’s what your weird doodles are? Hockey plays?”

“Yeah, I’m captain of the hockey team here. We’re not half bad, if I say so myself.”

“Wow,” Eric enthused, “you must be a pretty good skater, then.”

“Yeah, I guess. I could teach you sometime, if you want. I’m Jack, by the way,’ Cute Guy said.

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