things the harry potter

Ravenclaw Headcanon

Ravenclaws are known for their extremely dry humor, and they are almost always the ones that crack the extremely sarcastic jokes and everyone around them stops and stares at them for a moment to try and figure out if they were serious or not.

Vitamin D
  • <p> <b>Ron:</b> What's wrong, mate? You're really out of it today. We're losing to the Slytherins by 180 points!<p/><b>Draco:</b> *zooms toward ron and harry on his broom* What's the matter, Potter? In dire need of Vitamin Me?<p/><b>Ron:</b> <p/><b>Harry:</b> <p/><b>Harry:</b> What?<p/><b>Ron:</b> Don't you mean Vitamin D?<p/><b>Draco:</b> That also can be easily arranged *winks*<p/><b>Harry:</b> *blushes profusely*<p/><b>Ron:</b> *throws broom in the air* *rips hair off his head* *double back flips away from everything*<p/><b>Hermione:</b> You can't blame him. You walked straight into that one.<p/></p>

I taught myself how to read so I could read these books as they came out, they mean the world to me. When Prisoner of Azkaban came out, my asshole of a step-dad (big time abuser) decided that if I wanted to do nothing but read these “stupid fu@&ing books” then that’s what I’ll do. He locked me in a room at his parent’s house for 3 days without food or water, just my PoA book. I will never forget. No one knows. I love Harry Potter so much to this day. I wouldn’t be here without this series.

After holding his two daughters, ages two years and six months, in his arms one evening, Dudley begins to think about the last two generations of his family, and vows he won’t let these two end up like his mother and his aunt, or like himself and Harry. He won’t. These girls will be sisters and friends, draw on each other as a source of strength.

As a reminder of his promise, he gets two tattoos the next day - a bunch of petunias on the inside of one arm, an array of lilies on the other. 

When he hugs his daughters, they’ll feel his love through both

ID #28347

Name: Kat
Age: 24
Country: USA

Hello! I’m Kat. I am currently a student in Utah.
I am pretty open with things that I like and I love to be introduced to new things.
Some of my favorite things are Harry Potter, Legend of Zelda, anything Disney, and Sims.

Preferences: Anyone over the age of 18.
Someone who is okay with starting online and building up trust to snail mail. Or strictly online communication.

  • Favorite Character: *dies*
  • Normal Person: oh that's sad.
  • My Brain: NOOO WHY ASFLKIBFJVDGNVFGNNBVFDX I CAN NO LONGER FUNCTION WHAT THE HELL WHY *throws self out of window* WHAT EVEN IS LIFE
The Houses based on my friends

Gryffindor:
• “Hey guys look what I can do”
• dances and sings a lot unconsciously
• has weird hairstyles
• mood swings
• leaves essays until the night before
• mega ultra super nerd

Ravenclaw:
• finds really stupid things funny
• spends lots of time on social media
• says please and thank you all the time
• loves pillows
• amazing eyebrows
• uses a candy wrapper for bookmark

Hufflepuff:
• wears bows in hair everyday
• physically cannot be angry
• tries to scare everyone and fails
• very affectionate
• walks on tip-toes
• blushes uncontrollably 24/7

Slytherin:
• salty af 100% of the time
• swears every other word
• killer fashion sense
• carries dog around like a baby
• really contagious laughter
• will challenge anyone at anything

How to Snag Potter

By Draco Malfoy


1. Midnight Rendezvous: Invite him to a duel and then bond over shared rule-breaking. Didn’t work because Weasley insisted on coming along. Reported them to Filch instead. 

2. Midnight Rendezvous, second attempt: Inspire gratitude by helping him deal with illegal dragon. Possible small talk about my name? Caught by McGonagall

3. Show off amazing Quidditch skills and really cool new broom. Nope. Granger said I bought my way onto the team (NOT TRUE) and I’m pretty sure Potter believed it. 

4. Send carefully composed and endearing Valentine (the only good thing Lockhart has ever done). I don’t think he liked it very much, despite the brilliant lyrics I composed. Ended up shifting blame onto the Girl Weasel. Fairly certain he doesn’t suspect.

5. Become gravely injured in order to appeal to his Savior Complex and inspire feelings of protectiveness. DO NOT ATTEMPT AGAIN. Was nearly murdered when I insulted that giant filthy chicken, and yet Potter decided that IT was the victim?! Unacceptable. I will not rest until that beast is put down.

6. A fun prank! He seems to enjoy stuff like this when the Weasley Twins do it, so I’m sure he will laugh. Learn to sew. It turns out that Potter has no sense of humor as well as very poor vision, because he nearly killed me with that damn Patronus Charm. Although I must admit, it is kind of hot that he can already do a Patronus.

7. Support him with Triwizard Tournament badges! Okay, this one was probably my fault. Pansy saw me experimenting with them and I changed the messages at the last minute. Why can’t he just realize that I don’t mean it?

8. Report Potter’s tragic story to the Prophet to increase sympathy and support. Exaggerate if it will get him more attention. I realize now that Potter does not like attention. Also Skeeter made out like Potter is in some sort of love triangle involving Granger, which is not even remotely acceptable. This was a mistake.

9. Show respect for his friends by composing an encouraging song in Weasley’s honor. Apparently making the title sound complimentary isn’t enough to negate other more insulting lyrics. Honestly this was doomed from the start because there is literally nothing good about the Weasel except his best friend.

10. Impress him with your status and power by leading the Inquisitorial Squad. Umbridge is an absolute menace and I am an idiot.

11. Make him jealous: Flirt excessively with Pansy. I don’t think he even noticed.

12. Show him your sensitive side by crying in the girls’ loo. Fuck.

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. 

13. Realize you’ve been a complete arse for your entire life. Regret everything. Do your best to become someone who does the right thing. Don’t identify Potter when asked. Stop cronies from killing him. Apologize sincerely after he gets you off at your trial. Invite him for dinner. 

14. Invite him for drinks. 

15. Buy him a birthday present. 

16. Kiss him. 

17. Go back to his flat. 

18. Refuse to leave his bed. This only works for so long.

19. Attempt to make him breakfast.

20. Come out to the Prophet together.

21. Date for three years.

22. Say “yes.”

ENOUGH AREADY! WE GET IT - YOU THINK YOU *KNOW* SLYTHERIN...

We get that you think Slytherin girls are ‘winged eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man’. We get that you think our aesthetic is blood-red lipstick, the clack of stilettos on marble floors, and nails filed to a sharp point.

We get it.

We get that you think Slytherin boys are ‘jaw lines sharp enough to kill a man’ (perhaps we have that in common with the girls, you think?). We get that you think our mood is bitter black coffee, Shakespearean insults, and the burn of vodka as it cascades down your throat.

We get it. So enough already.

You think you know Slytherin? You think our girls are ‘bad-ass bitches’ and our boys are ‘refined gentlemen with wicked sharp tongues’?

Well, let us tell you what it really means to embody power, pride, fraternity, cunning, and ambition.

We’d be lying if we said Slytherin wasn’t that warm feeling of sinking deeper into your seat on the bus after you watch someone miss their stop. But, for all that, Slytherin is also when you were a child sitting on your dad’s shoulders - that feeling of being literally on top of the world, made all the more proud for knowing not only that the people who love you will raise you up but will be there to catch you if you fall.

That’s Slytherin - it’s what you wanted to be when you grew up, it’s your imaginary friend, and it’s getting an A on a test you studied damn fucking hard for.

And, sure, Slytherin is also silently thanking yourself that you looked your best on the days you ran into an ex partner. But Slytherin is the courage to end a going-nowhere relationship in the first place. Slytherin means willing to do what no one else can or will, to put aside desire, fear, and comfort and to just shed what doesn’t serve them; that means being cruel to be kind and knowing, in fact, that cruelty and kindness are not black and white concepts.

That’s Slytherin - it’s your little black dress, it’s self-help books, and it’s drunken chats with strangers in nightclub bathrooms.

We are so much more complex than men in suits or women in doc martens. If all you can think of is conceit when you think of cunning and if all you can think of is dominance when you think of power…then you do not know us. And we will not ask you to try harder next time because we would rather speak for ourselves.

So, enough already; we want ‘us’ done right, so we will do it ourselves.

That’s Slytherin.