someone: haha why are you so obsessed with *insert show/book series/film/etc)
me, internally: because throwing myself into something allows me to briefly forget the constant depression misery and sadness i suffer through every day and when i marathon things my self hatred sometimes starts to disappear because i forget that i’m a real person who exists in the real world. my obsessions help me to cope when i feel like i’m about to explode or cry or scream or all of those at once and once i get into something i barely think of anything else for weeks which is a very unhealthy coping tactic but hey it helps so
ENOUGH AREADY! WE GET IT - YOU THINK YOU *KNOW* SLYTHERIN...
We get that you think Slytherin girls are ‘winged eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man’. We get that you think our aesthetic is blood-red lipstick, the clack of stilettos on marble floors, and nails filed to a sharp point.
We get it.
We get that you think Slytherin boys are ‘jaw lines sharp enough to kill a man’ (perhaps we have that in common with the girls, you think?). We get that you think our mood is bitter black coffee, Shakespearean insults, and the burn of vodka as it cascades down your throat.
We get it. So enough already.
You think you know Slytherin? You think our girls are ‘bad-ass bitches’ and our boys are ‘refined gentlemen with wicked sharp tongues’?
Well, let us tell you what it really means to embody power, pride, fraternity, cunning, and ambition.
We’d be lying if we said Slytherin wasn’t that warm feeling of sinking deeper into your seat on the bus after you watch someone miss their stop. But, for all that, Slytherin is also when you were a child sitting on your dad’s shoulders - that feeling of being literally on top of the world, made all the more proud for knowing not only that the people who love you will raise you up but will be there to catch you if you fall.
That’s Slytherin - it’s what you wanted to be when you grew up, it’s your imaginary friend, and it’s getting an A on a test you studied damn fucking hard for.
And, sure, Slytherin is also silently thanking yourself that you looked your best on the days you ran into an ex partner. But Slytherin is the courage to end a going-nowhere relationship in the first place. Slytherin means willing to do what no one else can or will, to put aside desire, fear, and comfort and to just shed what doesn’t serve them; that means being cruel to be kind and knowing, in fact, that cruelty and kindness are not black and white concepts.
That’s Slytherin - it’s your little black dress, it’s self-help books, and it’s drunken chats with strangers in nightclub bathrooms.
We are so much more complex than men in suits or women in doc martens. If all you can think of is conceit when you think of cunning and if all you can think of is dominance when you think of power…then you do not know us. And we will not ask you to try harder next time because we would rather speak for ourselves.
So, enough already; we want ‘us’ done right, so we will do it ourselves.
Harry Potter being raised right, by Sirius Black who just ‘fuck rules, Moony, I’m not letting my Godson live in hell’ because he managed to transform into his animagi form and escape the scene of the crime before he got caught, and took Harry before Dumbledore said anything. Him technically being an Honorary Potter, still gives Harry the protection from Voldemort, while at 12 Grimmauld Place.
Him carrying a baby Harry, who just started speaking, his first words being, ‘Dada’, which makes him start to cry and ‘no, Harry, he’s not here. It’s only Padfoot and Moony now.’ And Harry giggling, because he’s only an infant, and is innocent like that.
Harry being sent to Neville Longbottom’s grandmother’s place during full moons so Padfoot can take care of Moony.
Harry when he’s 2, and can only call them ‘MoonMoon, and Pa'foo’ and laughing when they play Hide And Seek, and Moony just found Padfoot and Harry sleeping on the couch, Padfoot protectively draping his paw around Harry, in his animagi form, and Harry clutching onto the fur happily as he sleeps.
Moony and Padfoot buying a toy broomstick for Harry when he’s 4, and he learns to fly before he can walk, but, 'Its only two feet about the ground, Moony, relax.’
Harry finding the portrait of the Black Family tree, and seeing Padfoot blasted off of it. Harry getting angry, and drawing Padfoot back onto the portrait, with 'Padfoot’, with his crayons, and putting 'Moony’ next to it, and later covering all the other people in his black coloured crayon. 'I’m covering them up.’
Moony and Padfoot telling Harry the truth about his parents when he’s 7, because 'He’s old enough, Padfoot, and he needs to know what really happened. We’d be no better than those Dursleys if we didn’t.’
Harry understanding completely, crying a bit, in the middle of the night, but making sure no one heard him. The next day, Harry asks about his parents, and what they were like.
Harry getting small things that belonged to Lily, that Moony and Padfoot got from the house, and kept for him, including a picture of James and Lily’s first kiss, and many small muggle items she had from when she was small. He also got a sweater that belonged to James, which was from his Quidditch Practicing days.
Moony and Padfoot teaching Harry small jinxes and counter Jinxes when he’s 8, and Harry sneakily using a jinx on Padfoot because it was a prank war, and every prank war means at least one man having pink hair.
Harry when he’s nine, and being prepped on everything to do with Hogwarts, and how to get away from trouble, and which teachers to avoid or go to in the school, if Harry can’t contact Moony or Padfoot.
Harry being 10, and waking up in the middle of the night, to see Moony and Padfoot sleeping together on the couch, Moony putting his head on Padfoot’s lap, while his hand is in Moon’s hair, as he was playing with his hair before he fell asleep. Harry giggling, because 'Moony and Padfoot are in loveeee~’ yet neither of them deny it.
Harry getting his letter to Hogwarts as soon as he turns 11, and Moony and Padfoot’s throw a small party to celebrate, inviting Neville as well.
The three of them going to Diagon Alley, and many people greeting Harry, and Padfoot boasting about it, while Moony laughs.
Harry getting to meet many kids who might meet him at Hogwarts, including Ddaco Malfoy, and Padfoot growling when he sees Lucius, and says 'they’re a bad sort, Harry, keep away from them,’ but he didn’t listen, and being the small outgoing kid he was, he went to say 'Hi! Are you going to Hogwarts too?’ And Draco, actually being surprised and smiling awkwardly because his father was talking to the shopkeeper, at the corner of the room, so he didn’t know what to say, and he nods. Padfoot smiling because Harry looks happy, and Moony thinks that maybe Draco might be different.
Harry promising to send them letters every single day, by owl, while he hugs them goodbye, and runs towards the Hogwarts Express, waving at them until they are no longer visible.
Harry keeping his promise and telling Moony and Padfoot all about Hermione Jean Granger, and Ronald 'Ron’ Weasley, who are his new best friends, and Draco Malfoy 'who is an absolute git sometimes, but can actually be a sweetheart.’ and how Hermione and Ron managed to help him battle a troll in the girls bathroom, as well as meet Fluffy, the three headed dog, and how they played a game of wizard chess, and defeated Lord Voldemort, who was stuck on Professor Quirrell’s head, and how, when he saw the Mirror of Erised, he saw Padfoot, Moony, Lily, and James, (Or mum and dad) standing next to him, while they sat in the house. Oh and 'I’m seeker for the Gryffindors! Just like dad!’
Harry receiving a howler the next day, which was the day before Ron received it, and hearing Moony scream himself raw, 'YOU WERE TAUGHT BETTER THAN TO FIGHT WITH SEVERUS— “Moony, it’s Snivellus, Harry meant no harm, I’m sure of it.” — AND HAD ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT TO DISOBEY ORDERS. PADFOOT, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY? “I’m proud of you, Harry, keep up the good work. Tell Snivellus that if he irritates you any longer, he’s gonna have to speak to me.” PADFOO-’ And the Howler ends, bursting into flames, while Ron is laughing, and Hermione smiles, while Draco hollers a “congrats Potter!” and I AM SORRY FOR TAKING UP YOUR TIME BUT I VERY WELL NEED THIS IN MY LIFE, AND SO DO YOU.