things that raise my blood pressure

anonymous asked:

No pressure at all, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on the new Google Feud video! I love your analyses so much, thank you!!! Personally, I loved it

thanks for the lovely way you asked this :’) wow you’re so sweet. i really did enjoy this video so much! got so many messages from people saying they found it really significant and ground-breaking in the level of flirtation and openness that dnp exhibited. i sort of disagree (i mean, halloween baking as well as some of the first few vids of gamingmas are going to be hard to top at least in my opinion, as far as flirty and sexual bants are concerned). but there were still some great moments here and couple genuinely thought-provoking ones. 

instead of grouping my thoughts into larger categories this time i’m just going to paste my notes here basically unfiltered bc my night sort of got derailed and i didn’t have time to turn this into something more coherent. but i feel like all of my opinions (probably more than i would share regularly) are covered here and there were so many good bits to discuss ahhhhhh: 

  • ‘google e’ bants: dan being rude af and phil finding a positive interpretation is this just persona-driven bants or really how they are idk anymore
  • the macaroon bants: thanks @ phil for knowing the difference between macaroons and macarons. dan’s voice was very natural and he seemed genuinely surprised they were out of the biscuits. phil says he ate all of them. again, something that on a macro level could be like a phil trope™ but seems like,, that’s just genuinely how he is. phil shutting dan up with a gentle shush. dan immediately falling silent. all of this is too good. also phil said it’s the last macaroon in “our house” and ik that’s old news but it doesn’t make it any less sweet to hear it.
  • phil automatically dragging dan for the dini spon “are we having plugs right now” it was so INSTINCTIVE he didn’t even miss a beat i was literally like :O ? ? ? ??? damn. and also i was v interested in dan’s retort about phil sponning merch? because ??? the merch is both of theirs? this makes it seem like it’s usually phil’s decision to advertise their merch at the end of videos and that’s FASCINATING to me because phil is also the one who seems to take the most initiative with sponning merch in live shows, with posting about sales and new stuff on twitter, with updating us on anything to do w their ticket sales and whatnot during the tour. so it frequently seems that phil has more interest in this more business-y side of their ventures but it was surprising to hear this subtle sort of confirmation of that fact from dan in this way
  • why was dan so insistent on typing?? ? like? what about that warranted all the sassy eye rolling and the “this guy is such a need.” also. he definitely said “need.” it didn’t sound like he had been on course to say “needy” but just cut it off prematurely. but then there’s a jump cut and i automatically imagined phil making fun of him for the word flub and goading him to finish the thought and there were probs some gross “you know you’re a needy bf u spoon” bants that we will never get to hear #rip
  • dan getting things wrong and IMMEDIATELY GOING ON RANTS ABOUT HOW THE GAME IS OBVIOUSLY FLAWED AND WRONG AND BULLSHIT has there ever been anything so typically dan (and phil respectfully trying his hardest not to call him out for how dumb his guesses are like bless him,,, tbh. “does it hurt to pull out hairs” dan wyd). it’s so captivating to me how consistently dan displays this need to never be wrong or mess up on things that he feels he should be good at and so when that happens here, he automatically blames the game instead of admitting that his guesses are kinda shit (though he does admit it one time when phil gets michael jackson and jordan, but that seemed more like an acknowledgment of how good phil is and that he’s bad in comparison, rather than bad in an absolute sense lol.
  • phil happily/comfortably saying “have sex” and “penis” and not being too weird about the word “bondage” all in one video. good. progress. 
  • MORE bAby TALK I WANT TO DIE? (phil guesses “how to raise a baby” and instead of just letting it go he immediately goes into the side comment about “how does anyone actually know how to raise a baby by the way? .. do you just learn it from mother nature?”) how many videos in a row are they going to talk about babies, mention babies, discuss the difficulties of raising babies??!?!?!?!? i’m having a hard time just chalking it up to coincidence at this point, i really wonder if they’ve been correlating the discussion of not being ready to have a dog to the discussion of not being ready to have children anytime in the foreseeable future??? i mean idk why they’d even entertain the idea at this point in their lives but it’s just weird to me that it’s come up sooooo much on dapg recently
  • dans cute flirty mocking and weird faces at phil throughout… 

when he guesses puppy based on phil’s guess of kitten and he makes this face:

then later makes this face:

  • in case anyone was in any sort of doubt, dan flirts like a fuckin five year old. 
  • the effort taken to clarify to anyone who still has any doubts that dan’s ‘anger’ and aggression in dapg vids and especially in competitive dapg vids is completely played up for the purposes of entertainment/comedy. the most interesting thing about this is comparing it to past instances of dan engaging with this topic. most recent was yesterday’s live show when he read out a message that said he was kind of mean in the quickdraw vid and his instinct was to mock them by going “oooooooooohhhhhh was i?” in the most sarcastic, biting tone i’ve heard from him in a while. it reminded me forcefully of the iconic vyou answer about him being mean to phil, when he was like “no. i’m not mean to phil, i’m never mean to phil. … this may not have occurred to you .. etc. etc.” and he’s super condescending and annoyed. on face value, it seems like in the little bit during today’s vid when they’re discussing it, he’s a lot chiller about it and he’s laughing as though to brush it off as just being humorous, even though clearly in the past it’s a topic that has annoyed or upset him. which actually brings me to the thing i found most fascinating about this scene: the JUMP CUT before it, and the sort of FORCED way in which phil says “chill out dan” which gives dan the cue to clarify the whole situation. it seems like a bit that was clearly planned/scripted based on these little details, which makes me wonder if something about the bants that precede it (when dan is making those cute mock-y faces at phil and is like ew i don’t even want the “crummy macaroon”) reminded dan of these comments about him being mean and then he brought it up to phil and asked if they could discuss it for a min before moving on. it seems likely to me that something like this happened, bc the exchange seems really disjointed from the scene before, idk!!!!!!! and if this is what happened, it just cements to me that as casual and amused as dan seemed while talking about it here, it’s clearly something that STILL UPSETS HIM otherwise he wouldn’t’ve randomly remembered it and asked to clarify it to the audience, and idk something about that makes me feel v warm like dan literally won’t tolerate people actually believing he’s angry at phil or mean to him even tho .. it’s obvious .. and poor boy really doesn’t need to go to all this effort to confirm that :( he’s cute and good :(
  • phil seemed to get mildly flustered by dan’s proximity when he’s all like “a bird? a bIRD?” bc he then just gets all high pitched and forgets grammar and goes “chickens is there so yeS that is a very popular question” like honey that barely made sense but ok u tried ur best
  • not even that important but it made me happy: dan reads “how to raise a boring girlfriend” and phil says “stop being mean significant others” and a few years ago phil the Heteronormative Icon would’ve most certainly said boyfriends there and he didn’t, he used a gender neutral term, and i felt years being added onto my lifespan
  • when dan says “blood pressure, they’re basically the same thing, i’m terrible” what the fuck is he talking about? is he saying that “raising an adult” whatever the hell that means, and raising blood pressure are basically the same thing? i don’t .. understand… i replayed that so many times and i still don’t get it
  • “kidnapping your senpai” comment. literal gold. the way dan looks at the camera then pointedly at phil. he wants us to have this one. your efforts have been recognized and much appreciated dan. dw.
  • “i don’t like screaming that often,” says dan. hm.
  • “what the fuck are you doing with babies and duct tape you creepy fucking weirdos,” says dan and i am having incredibly violent flashbacks to 2011-2012. like he literally sounds straight out of 6 years ago and it’s a bit wild.
  • and then obvi. the feeding scene. when they first showed the macaroon at the beginning i literally KNEW that it would only end in feeding (or, as a possible but less likely second option, the loser eating it before the winner can get it). so i was thoroughly unsurprised that it happened. once again, the thing that interested me was the CLEAR jump cut in the scene. so dan first says “i don’t want it. no phil! it’s the dan versus phil board. here we go,” and his hand with the macaroon starts moving towards phil’s mouth, and then the jump cut happens, and it’s like dan has started the feeding process OVER, bc the angle is totally diff, the framing is totally diff, and this time dan is giving the camera that weird stare:
  • INTERESTING. so to me this means they once again paused the scene to talk about what they were going to do, and they ended up doing something that was nearly an exact duplicate of this scene from the nov. 24 live show last year where dan feeds phil chocolate and hams it up big time for the camera and phil is basically like, “what are you doing” and dan verbatim replies “i’m feeding it to you” and idk it makes me wonder what their motivation is (or, i assume, *dan’s* motivation, bc it was dan’s idea in the live show to do this) to just redo this exact exchange for a wider audience?
  • to me that scene in the live show was a big step towards them acknowledging the sort of (romantic) things they obviously know the audience wants them to do and for them to tacitly tell us that maybe once in a while they will actually start to do them but not without a healthy accompanying dose of sarcasm and teasing us for being such trash that we could possibly get excited over something as banal as them feeding each other. it seemed like a BIG step to me at the time bc i was like, ok, here’s them basically telling us that they KNOW us and they hear us and they acknowledge that their boundaries on camera have been very strict and forced and they’re gonna start making some efforts to change that, but like also, we (the audience) won’t get off scot free in that transaction bc we deserve to be made fun of a bit too, for caring so much about such simple and objectively unexciting things. it’s ‘fan service’ to the extent that it is an acknowledgment of what the audience wants to see and of the fact that they have been holding it back for some time, but it’s genuine and brave in the sense of them showing us that they may take these steps and bend some boundaries now from time to time. and it seems like they HAVE to do it this way, with all the sarcasm and blatant stares into the camera, and either vocalized or implied “giving the people what they want” comments, in order to not ACTUALLY LITERALLY be accused of baiting/fan service. think about the tricky position they are in where even if they want to loosen boundaries and act more natural, literally everything they do gets scrutinized and becomes fodder for people to accuse them of faking shit in order to gain views. it seems the only way to stave it off is to make fun of it themselves and jump out ahead of that criticism. all in all, the exchange in this vid seemed to me like they made a conscious and somewhat premeditated effort to communicate something very similar, but this time for their dapg audience of 2.6M rather than the limited live show audience of some tens of thousands. that seems significant. i want to keep thinking about it forever

ahhhhh i’m sorry this is immense but like, who expected anything different???? what a gr8 vid, they keep giving me so much to think about. and they keep UPLOADING. JFC. it’s crazy! god bless the 2017 rebranding which seems to be all about flirting and softness and touching and phil being assertive and dan being petulant and both of them following through  more than i ever expected on their promise to re-commit and focus more on making youtube content. dnp r the only thing saving my 2017 lol <3 

Who’s Your Daddy?


/ Part 1 /
/ Part 2 / / Part 3 / / Part 4 /

Author: Joi A. Wade

Requested: Who’s your Daddy is my religion.,  Who’s your daddy is so good! 😍,  I can’t wait for another part!,  Are you going to make another who your daddy?

Tagged: @yougottalovefandoms  @phan—anime , @ thatblondeemogirl, @waitingfor-captainamerica

Warnings: Swearing, pregnant!reader, daddy!gladers

Summary: The creators sent up a new greenie instead of supplies…they weren’t expecting a girl. And to put the icing on the cake, she’s pregnant with a note rested upon her bulging belly. Once the note is read, and the girl wakes up…all hell will break loose.  Who is she? Why is she there? Who is the father of her baby?


After the meeting was over, the walls have already opened; Thomas and Minho were now currently an hour and a half late for their run. 

“We don’t have much time to waste today, so just shorten the route I gave you this morning, and we’ll figure out what to do about the rest tomorrow. Good that?” Minho instructed, but got silence in return. Turning his head to look behind him, he saw that Thomas was off in his own little world. But, when was he not? 

“Do you think it’s yours?” 

That question threw him off guard a little bit. I mean, sure, they’ve been throwing accusations at each other and ridiculous scenarios since this morning; but not one of them had actually asked. Minho stopped in his tracks, running a hand through his hair while he thought about it. 

“I don’t know, man. To be honest, I hope not. And I hope it’s not yours either.”

“What?” Thomas squints, somehow feeling very offended at his statement. Placing his hands on his hips, he tilts his head to the side. “Why?” 

“Think about it, Thomas. We’re runners. Everyday we risk dying to get out of this hell for everyone else. Why would you want to put a girl you love and your unborn child through that kind of shit? A thought, a slight chance, that you might not come back to them. I don’t want that kind of stuff on my mind when I run, it’ll distract me.” 

“But, wouldn’t that give you more of a reason to come back? I mean, we can both end it all right now, no looking back. I mean, yeah, our friends will miss us, but it’s not as deep as being loved by someone, and the connection you’ve built that’s going to be born-”

“Thomas, where are you going with this?”

Seeing how restless his friend was getting, he shuts up. Shaking his head with a sigh, he decides to dismiss the conversation. “Nowhere. Forget I brought it up.” 

Minho watched as Thomas started up his jog, going in his own direction. His question still lingered in his mind, echoing on the account of it being unanswered. ‘Do you think it’s yours?’ He wasn’t completely honest about him hoping it wasn’t his. Y/n was pretty, and the thought of being the lucky shank to snag her brought a faint smile to his face. But, as quickly as it came, it vanished. 

There’s no way he would be dumb enough to get that close to a girl. At least he hoped not. 

Newt had did his best to show Y/n that everyone in the glade was nothing to be afraid of. Sure, it can be a little overwhelming, but nothing to run and hide over, right? Right. But, this isn’t the case. Y/n is not only a girl, but a pregnant girl. That took unwanted attention to a whole new level. 

For those who didn’t have to work, or were on their breaks, approached the second-in-command. Unwanted hands came at Y/n, poking and rubbing her stomach, bombarding her with questions she couldn’t answer. Newt tried to shoo them off, he even called Alby over, and little Chuck tried helping. But, it finally made the poor girl snap. With whatever ability she had, she managed to escape, running as fast as she could let herself, and toward the ‘safe’ watchtower. 

“Y/n! Wait a minute, I don’t think that’s wise in your condition!” 

Oh, what does he know, she thought. Once she made it to the top, she was able to catch her breath, a gentle hand placed on her stomach to see if everything was fine. Getting a harsh kick back was enough reassurance. The sound of cluttered voices could be heard from below her, all of the boys crowding around the tower, unsure what the next move should be. 

Seeing all the commotion, Gally sprints his way over, standing next to Newt while squinting up. “What’s going on here?”

“[Sigh] These bloody shanks don’t know the meaning of personal space, and ask too many damn questions, it overwhelmed Y/n. So in a panic, she ran all the way over here.” 

“Pregnant girls can run, with those things dragging them down?” 

“Well, as you can see, I guess so.” He gestures up to the towers, watching her peek to make sure they all stayed on the ground. “Love, please, come down! This isn’t safe!” 

“I don’t know about you, but I feel much safer up here than I do down there! I’ll be staying up here from now on, and you all stay away from me with your filthy hands!” 

Groaning, Newt motions for a few of the gardeners to head over to the tower to climb; when one of them were to touch the ladder, a couple rocks struck him on the head. 

“Ow! The hell?” He looks up, only to receive more rocks to rain down onto him and his buddy. “Aye! Stop it!” 

“Y/n, don’t throw rocks! You’re not going to be harmed, I gave you my word!” Newt tried to reason, but the rocks just kept coming, with one hitting him in the head as well. “Ouch!” 

“Hey! Throw one more of those things-!“ Rock to the forehead. “Ow! Alby! Shucking do something!” 

“Calm down! Everyone take a couple large steps away from the tower. Give the lady her space, before you raise her blood pressure any higher than it is now.” 

“How in the hell do you know that?” 

“I’m the leader of you shanks. If anyone knows about ‘raising blood pressure’ it’s me. Now move back.” 

Doing as he says, everyone was a good distance to where the rocks were finally done dropping. They watched as Y/n could finally calm down and sit, possibly leaning against one of the trunks to slow her heart back down. 

“Now what?” Zart asks. 

“Everyone back to work, besides Newt and Gally. This is their problem now.” 

“What?” Gally exclaims, while Newt was already heading toward the ladder. “Alby, I’ve got stuff to do, I don’t have time-!”

“Until her memory returns or that baby is born, you are stuck with her. You want everything to go back to normal, I suggest you start putting in an effort on figuring this klunk out. Good that?” 

With a grunt, Gally stomps behind Newt, getting to the ladder. This was already a pain in the ass, and the baby wasn’t even born yet. Once he’s made it to the top, the scene before him makes his sour mood disappear in a flash. There she laid, passed out from exhaustion and dehydration. 

There’s no telling when her last meal was. 

“Shuck!” He exclaims, quickly crawling the rest of the way, and kneeling by her side. Newt on the opposite side was fanning her as hard as he could, practically blowing on her face. “What the hell happened?!”

“She’s passed out! I-I don’t know what to do, what are you supposed to do when a pregnant girl faints?” He gently lays her head in his lap, fanning her with both hands now. “Go get some water, o-or something she can eat! Hurry!” 

“Why the hell didn’t you say anything when I was still shucking down there?!” He shouts, quickly trying to shimmy down the ladder. 

“I thought she was sleeping!” 

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say!” 

“Shut your bloody mouth, and just get help!” 

Tag Meme

Thanks for the tag, @ladydracarysao3 <3

One insecurity: my housekeeping (in)abilities

Two fears: having my blood pressure taken, being watched

Three turn-ons: an athletic gait, an easy charm, confidence

Four life goals: to publish a book (or several), to have a house with a yard, to achieve a sense of balance, to raise and nurture a happy and functional family

Five things I like: california poppies, snow leopards, rustic men in flannel, sauvignon blanc

Six weaknesses: cigarettes, sweet-tarts, professional athletes, coffee, laziness, junk food

Seven things I love: my husband, my child, my writing, our weird little life, long and rainy afternoons, drinking beers with my very old friends in our shitty old town, weddings

tagging @thevikingwoman @tel-abelas-mofo @wrenbee @whosafraidofthebigbaddreadwolf @shift-shaping @ladylike-foxes @hansaera-art @cordkitty-ish @princessvicky01 @5ftgarden @widdlez @liderfin @bearlytolerable and anyone who sees this ^_^

daily life

heya so ive mentioned on here that I was diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome along with Elhers-Danlos Syndrome, and I thought I would make a post to help you understand what this means/put things in perspective, since my experience with these illnesses hasn’t been nearly as bad as others. So here are the changes ive made in my daily life living with POTS/EDS

Morning:

  • before standing (even to turn off my alarm) I have to rub my arms and legs to get my circulation going, and down a water bottle, so when i stand im not lightheaded and fall over (which happens if i dont do these things)
  • i have to take 50000 units of Vitamin D3 once a week, I take a multivitamin, small dose of vitamin B-12, a capsule of fish oil, and a 00 capsule with salt (that I put together, it helps me to retain water and raise my blood pressure since it is so low)

School life:

  • I drink four water bottles during the school day
  • i have a really hard time paying attention in a lot of my classes because im trying not to fall asleep, and because my mind is affected a lot of times with “brain fog”, that makes it harder for me to remember things or think clearly
  •  by lunch i have a decline through the rest of the day
  • take another salt capsule

Evening:

  • by the time i get home from school, im tired beyond belief, achey in my legs and usually my arms, most days have a headache, and still have homework, chores, and other normal people responsibilities
  • i take a 30 minute walk (most) everyday, when i can handle it. i try to walk a mile, in order to strengthen my legs to help build more muscle and keep blood from pooling in my legs
  • i usually have to sit for the rest of the night with minimal movement, i get more lightheaded as the day goes on, and most nights i put the heating pad on my lower back, and my calves
  • drink a ton of water (by the end of the day i drink between 6-8 water bottles, I’m supposed to drink 12 ounces every two hours that im awake)
  • i shower every other day, hot showers use a lot of energy, and cold showers arent much better, my body is very sensitive to temperature
  • take another salt capsule!!
  • in bed between 9:30-10, if i get less than 10 hours of sleep my symptoms worsen

this is my life everyday, and many people have it much worse. i hope this helps you to understand my condition, as well as acknowledging the craziness that people whose POTS or EDS affects them worse than me, and those who have other chronic illnesses as well. it is not an easy life, and the lack of awareness doesn’t help, and I hope to play a role in changing that, and i plan to be completely honest and open about my sickness.

Together

SPN June Writing Challenge

Castielxreader

Summary: Taking place around season 9, Castiel leaves the bunker due to Deans demands. Even though he feels alone, he is surprised when you come knocking. You can’t leave him alone, you know better. An angel without grace is just a human. Knowing Castiel struggles with human tradition, its only rational for you to stick with him and help him in his times of need.

Word Count: 3,863

Warning: smut, fluff

Challenge topic: “Did you follow me here?”

————————————————————————————

“Did you follow me here?” Cas’s voice was weak with a sense of worry.

“Well, yeah. You kind of just left without saying goodbye,” a small smile appearing on your lips. You loved Cas; you were drawn to him.

“Why are you here, (y/n)?” his tone was edgy and clipped now; pulling his features together in attempted annoyance. Your shoulders slummed as he gave you the cold shoulder. He had a reason to be upset, but his fight was with Dean. You had no control over the bunker, the brothers just let you stay there.

"Just because Dean kicked you out, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be there for you,” with hurt clear in your words, you watched him curiously. The former angel had always been kind to you; he never once was hateful and his attitude now, was unsettling.

“You need to go home,” his eyes had softened as he took in your wounded glance, but his tone was all the same.

“The angels are after you, they could kill you Cas. You’re not going to go through this alone. You have been with us for years, saving our asses; I don’t know what the hell has got into that damn Winchester.” you sigh, shaking your head in disappointment.

“He’s watching out for you and Sam. Im a danger to be around right now. You need to go back, get as far away from me as you can,” his chest felt heavy and you could tell he didn’t mean it. He wanted you there, and he hated himself for being so selfish. You always had a way of comforting him; your presence kept him at ease and at the rate things were going, he really needed you. But he also needed you to be safe and while being around him, that wasnt an option; he wasnt going to risk it.

“You’re being hunted. You and I both know that, but your an idjit if you think I’m not going to stand by your side. Were going to fight this and were going to fight together. Im not leaving at a time where you need me most; I’m going to do everything I can to keep you safe.” you sounded appalled so he would get the hint. As he stood in front of you, his chest exhaled to produce a dramatic sigh before his shoulders slumped.

”(y/n) if you think you owe me-“ he began softly, but now you were getting upset.

“No! This is not about settling a debt! Its the fact that your family Cas, and even though Dean seems to be out of the game right now, Im not. I don’t give up on family, I don’t push family away; they’re all i have left and I’m going to do everything in my power to protect my family because I care!” your voice raised along with your blood pressure. You didn’t understand why he couldn’t see the big picture.

“You don’t think I want the same thing?” the question barely audible, his head turned to the side as his brows drew together.

“You’re pushing me away right now, just like Dean.” your volume didn’t decrease.

“I want you safe and if that makes me like Dean…” he trailed off at a loss for words.

“You don’t get it Cas. If my options consist of my safety or having the chance to save you, I’d go with the latter,” you hiss. Crossing your arms, you faced the ground as tears began to pool in your eyes. This had been a long time coming; a conversation you had done your best to steer clear from until now. You felt him step toward you, but you didn’t even try to move; the tears slipping from your eyes and the hurt inside, overpowered you.

“(y/n),” he whispered to you, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. The soft, caring tone he normally held for you was back. As his fingers gently lifted your chin to meet your gaze, his attention was instantly drawn to the tears streaming down your face.

“Have you ever watched Lilo & Stitch?” your voice quivered lightly as you tried to get a grip on the situation. You had never cried in front of him before but you couldn’t hold it in any longer. You were in love with him and you would be damned if you kept it to yourself any longer; especially when the angels were on his ass and you weren’t sure how much time you had left. He watched you, eyes holding complete concern; it took him a while before he shook his head, responding with a no.

"Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind,” you sigh, stepping forward to pull him in for a hug. "Im with you in this, Cas. You can try to shake me if you want, but I’m not going anywhere. Let me take care of you; just like all of those times you took care of me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you; I realize my life is on the line and if thats the price it takes for me to stay and be here with you, then so be it. The world is a huge place for a human; its corrupt, distraught, and faulty and I will not leave you to face it alone.” He stood frozen as your words came crashing in. His blue eyes becoming glassy with their own tears as he wrapped his arms around you, reciprocating your hug. As he incased you, your arms held on tighter; pulling him closer.

“I love you,” you whispered, tears fell from his blue orbs as you made the confession. “So if you think I’m going to sit back and play it safe in the confines of the bunker while you’re out here struggling and fighting for your life, you’re wrong.” The both of you remained silent for a moment before you pulled back a little.
“I don’t know how I made it without you before we met,… but what I do know…” you lift your hand to wipe a tear from his cheek.
“is that I can’t make it without you now; I need you Cas. Without you, Im already dead.” You rested your head back on his shoulder, face snuggling into the crook of his neck, arms wrapping around his torso once more. You heaved a sigh of relief as he made no point to push you away from him. His grip on you tightened, holding you to him securely. You closed your puffy eyes and listened to his heart beat; the clear rhythm and the warmth he radiated made you sleepy.  After a while, he shifted and lifted your head; placing a kiss to your forehead before resting his own. His blue orbs consuming your view, but you felt a smile tug on his lips

“I love you too,” he admitted, eyes looking away as his cheeks flushed. You found yourself smiling, moving your hands up to the nape of his neck; fingers entwining in his unruly, dark, messy hair. Without warning, he closed the small distance. His lips gentle against your own, moving softly in rhythm together. Your hands pulled his neck to you; even though you were touching, you weren’t close enough. Your tongue swept across his lower lip waiting and begging for entrance. He fought dominance with you, but gave in quickly. Pulling you closer to him, you felt the bulge in his pants and he let out a groan when you pulled away.

“(y/n),” his eyes were closed, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath and protest against the separation.

“Perhaps we could finish this inside?” your voice wasnt above a whisper, the seduction seeping through. His eyes shot open in an instant as he mulled you over, searching for any sign of hesitation within your being. Nodding his head, he let you into the room; closing the door behind him before trailing you to the bed. Staring down at the sheets, you thought over what came next. You were about to have the moment with Cas that you had long been fantasizing about for years.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We don’t have to rush,” he offered as your back was still turned to him. You shifted around quickly, explaining yourself.

“Believe me, I want to,” you let out a laugh, looking away from him as your face heated. He turned his head quizzically, brows furrowing as you filled the few steps you had between him.
“I have wanted you for a long time.” Slipping your hands around his neck, his arms tangling around your back to seclude distance, both of you meeting in the middle to continue the kiss.

Cas moaned into your mouth as you ran a hand down his torso, his breath hitching as you palmed him through his pants. His hands traveled up the back of your neck, fingers twisting in your hair as you continued to rub him. Your tongues moved together in rhythm, the noises slipping from him only made you want more. While your lips moved together in rhythm, you tugged him by the shirt and filled the distance between the bed. Before you could push him onto the mattress, Cas lifted you and laid you down first; gently sliding over you as he pinned you between him and the bed. A moan escaped your lips at his forwardness and your hands moved up to tangle in his hair. Your legs twisted around his torso; pulling him closer to your aching core. As his hips rubbed against yours, Cas let out a groan and you could feel his growing bulge. It was time for the clothes to come off.

While moving your hands down his body, towards his waist, his lips left yours and continued to trail down your jaw; slowly making his way to your neck. You struggled to unbutton his pants, the pressure in your core rising as he began to nip and suck where his lips traveled over your sensitive skin. A whine escaped your mouth and Cas pulled away, checking you over to make sure he hadn’t hurt you.

“I can’t get the damn things off,” you tried to seem upset, but a laugh slipped through your growing smile. Why couldn’t you just undo the damn button. A smile began to appear on his face as he acknowledged the fact; rolling over on his side, he quickly moved to remove his pants. As soon as they were unbuttoned, you moved and towered over him; a devilish smile adorning your lips. Slipping one leg over him, you positioned yourself on top; his eyes watching your every move. Leaning down, your lips met with his once more before your fingers lifted the helm of his shirt; in a quick motion, the first item of clothing was cast down to the floor. As your eyes wandered his tone, muscular, tan chest, a hum vibrated from your chest; the noise eliciting arousal, Cas’s eyes were lust blown. He wanted to be in control, but at the same time, he enjoyed the noises that escaped your mouth as you explored him.

With gentle force, you pushed him to where he was laying down; your figure looming over him. Giving him one last kiss, you smiled and began to trail your way down. Just like he had done, you nipped and sucked his skin on your way down; earning small moans from him as you found his sensitive areas. When you reached his happy trail, you peaked up at him; his features contorted of pure bliss and relaxation as you moved over him. Tugging at his jeans, he lifted his hips to help you rid them; pushing them down past his ankles, he kicked them off the rest of the way. Moving down towards the end of the bed, you sat up on your knees; eyes roaming his body and fingers teasing his waist line. You had yet to remove his boxers but his signature had a broadened outline on the material that covered him. His head still rested on the bed as you cupped him. The thin material did nothing to prevent the precum from leaking onto your palm.

Sliding your hand under the waistband, you palmed him again; skin on skin. Your thumb rimmed his tip, spreading the beads to make him slick in your hand. His muscles tensed, he grabbed the sheets and fisted them into his hands once you began pumping him. You smirked at him as you leaned down to take him in your mouth. Perhaps Cas wanted to lead, but you knew he was enjoying you dominate just as much as you were. You had loved him for a very long time and now that you were finally able to have him, you weren’t going to let it go by unnoticed; everything you had ever wanted, he was about to feel everything that you had felt.

As your tongue swirled over him, a whine escaped his lips; his hands moving and fingers weaving into your hair. You took as much of him as you could, your hand doing the rest while the other fondled him. As you sucked him, bobbing your head up and down his length, his hips bucked in rhythm; groans escaping his chapped lips and he began whispering your name. Honestly, his cries were enough to get you off but you needed him. He began to quiver; his length convulsing. Pulling away with a pop, Cas let out a groaning protest; you hadn’t let him finish.

“(y/n),” his blue orbs searched you; trying to gauge if he had done something wrong. Instantly, your lips crashed into his; his eyes closing as he lost himself within your clutches. His hands traveled over; exploring as he removed your clothing. Like his, your shirt came off first followed by the bra. When he took off your pants, he didn’t hesitate with the panties either. Flipping you over, him on top, his fingers trailed down your waist. He began teasing you, running his finger over your slit but not committing to penetrate.  It wasnt too long before his thumb was circling your clit in slow, tantalizing motions; slipping two of his long fingers inside you, curving them as he pulled them out and pushing back in. Just like you had done to him, he had you going. Your hands gripped his biceps, moaning softly as your hips met his rhythm. It wasnt long before you could feel yourself getting close, considering you had been on edge for a while now. As your muscles began to contract, he removed his fingers from your slick slit. Before you even had time to protest, his lips were on yours; your arms tangled around his back as he lined up with you, your legs pulling him closer.

“So beautiful,” he whispered into your ear, slowly slipping inside you inch by inch. He waited until you adjusted to him before he pulled out. Pushing back in, in the same slow manner, he began a soft steady pace. You wanted for him to speed up, but at the same time it was perfect; everything was perfect. This is what you had wanted. You wanted the angel, you wanted him to love you as you did him and here you were; the both of you lost in the moment as you were consumed in each other. Cas was slowly making love to you, doing everything he could to make it last longer; neither of you wanting it to end. From the previous activities, it didn’t take long before you were both close to losing it. Cas was throbbing and your muscles were convulsing. Each cry of the others name sending you closer and closer.

“(y/n), I’m close,” he grunted. You hummed in response and he moved his hand down to circle your clit. As soon as he grazed your bulb, your back was arching as you let loose; your orgasm taking over your senses. Cas filled you not long after; his hips continued, riding the both of you through your orgasms.

He softened inside you, but he remained on top; his forehead resting on your shoulder as he tried to catch his breath. Your hands were still on his back; as you came to your senses you realized your fingernails had been digging into his skin. He didn’t move; didn’t say anything. He just stayed positioned over you, head resting on your shoulder, for a very long time; you began to think he regretted the whole thing.

“Cas-“ you shifted slightly, your voice shaky. What if he had regretted it? What if he didn’t enjoy it like you had? What if he didn’t want you?

“Im in love with you,” he whispered, not bothering to lift his head to meet your gaze. A smile tugged your lips.
“and it terrifies me.” he finished. The smile that was held on your features began to fade.

“Cas?” you tried again but this time it was in a different manner. What did he mean by that? He buried his face deeper in your neck as you said his name. Your hands moved up to his head, your fingers lifting so you could meet his gaze. Tears glossed in his orbs, he was looking down, not bothering to meet your gaze. Sliding your fingers into his hair, he moved into your touch as a tear fell onto your naked form.
“Cas,” you repeated, trying your best to get him to explain. What was paining him so much?

“Ive messed up. I do things and I always screw up,” he began shaking his head, lifting himself off of you so he could sit up.

“But you meant well,” you try to reason, sitting up with him. “Castiel, your intentions were to be helpful-“

“They don’t see it that way. Nobody sees it that way but you,” he finally met your gaze; your heart shattered as you looked into his blue saddened eyes.
“They don’t care of what I intended; they only care about what happened. The angels are looking for me,” he hesitated, “and when they find me…” he trailed off.

“They will have to go through me,” you cleared, no joking relevant in your voice. He watched you for a moment before looking away, shaking his head.

“Thats not going to happen. Your not going to be here.” he tried to conclude. Your brows furrowed and you crossed your arms, keeping the sheet above your chest.

“The hell I’m not!” your voice raised at him. Before you could continue, he spoke ahead.

”(y/n) they will use you to get to me. Once they find out what you are and how much you mean to me, they’re not even going to hesitate. They will torture you and they will do it while I’m watching just so they can try to prove their point. I will not stand for that.” His response left you speechless. He didn’t want anything to happen to you, but what you didn’t realize was you didn’t want anything to happen to him either.

“Well I’m not going any where.” you cleared.

”(y/n),” he tried to fight your answer.

“Stop trying to reason with me, Cas. I’m not going back to the bunker, I’m not going anywhere period. I’fm staying right here next to you whether you want me here or not.” Your tone seemed to push him back and fill him with unease.

“Of course I want you here. Its just not safe.” his voice was low and filled with defeat. His chest fell and his shoulders slumped.

“I realize that, so stop pushing me away. I know your scared. Hell, i am too; but I’m not leaving you. Your stuck with me.” you sat up and moved closer to him. He wouldn’t meet your gaze so you cuddled into him instead.
“I love you and you love me. I want you safe and you want me safe. The only logical reasoning is to be together and look out for one another. Its you and me against the world; just like Sam and Dean. Whatever it is that we have to do in order to survive, then thats what we’ll do.” His eyes leveled with yours and you could tell he was having a battle of contradiction between happiness and worry.

"I can’t protect you like I could when I had my grace,” the worry seeped through his tone. Giving him a warm, comforting smile, you pulled him in tighter.

“Angel or not, I love you. You’re the same assbutt that I’ve been in love with since forever and I know if something ever does happen, your not going to let anything happen to me; and I’m not going to let anything happen to you. If and when the time comes that something does occur, we’ll know what to do and if we don’t, then well figure it out.” you could tell he was accepting your admittance. You had won with flying colors; you weren’t going anywhere and he wasnt going to make you leave. His arms tightened around
you, pulling you in as close as possible; cradling you from the world. Protecting you. After a long while, he finally spoke up.

“Will you promise me one thing?” Lifting your head, you met his gaze awaiting his response.
“If something does happen to me, promise me you won’t do anything irrational.”

“Cas,” you sighed.

“Im serious,” he held no humor in his tone or features.

“And I’m not going to make a promise I can’t keep. You would do the irrational thing if something happened to me.” The former angel sighed, coming to terms that you were as hard headed as you were human. You noticed the worry that still contaminated his thoughts and you sat up, placing a kiss on his lips.
“Enough about the future, lets focus on now,” you pleaded, poking out your lip in attempt for him to succumb.

“Okay,” he sighed and it made you perk up a little. His stomach growled and you felt it rumble against your side.

“Alrighty then,” you giggled, “how about we get some food? I think we worked up an appetite, don’t you?” you teased him and a smile lit up his lips.

“Oh, I think were going to work up a lot of appetites.” he smirked before crashing his lips on yours. Perhaps the future was a complete mystery. There were things you weren’t sure of, but what you did know was that, Cas was Cas and you were you. The both of you loved one another dearly and nothing was going to get in the way of that. Whatever obstacles were to come, you would face them together. Talking to Dean, sooner rather than later, would be one of the first things to do. You and Cas would definitely be safe in the confines of the bunker, but you weren’t going back without him; you weren’t going anywhere without him.

REQUESTED SCOTT MCCALL IMAGINE- “Stiff as a Board”

Originally posted by teenwolfcharacters

Summary: You overhear Liam say something to Scott about control, and because you are a witch, you decide to reveal yourself by adding to the conversation, which freaks them out as you have hid the fact that you are a supernatural being in the past. Scott invites you over to his house and you show him something (that involves feathers).

Request:  “Hi, can you do a super fluffy Scott McCall imagine? You can make it about whatever! Thanks, love you 😘”

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Not so Positive (one shot)

TITLE: Not So Positive

CHAPTER NUMBER/TITLE/ONE SHOT: one shot
AUTHOR:  theotherspiderlady
WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: vampire!Tom
GENRE:  flluff 
FIC SUMMARY: Based on this post about the vampire taking care of anemic girl. LINK 

RATING: T
WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: If you’re not into fainting and vampires then stay clear.
FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: I just had fun with it. Hope you do too.

—– 

“You didn’t take your medicine again?!“ 

"I forgot to take it. Jeez Tom stop being so over-dramatic!" 

"You know you taste filthy when you don’t take your medicine!" 

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It Only Takes One Time (Part 8)

I wanted to update this tonight because I have so many ideas for this series and I just got so excited! So, for this and my other series Two Halves of a Hole, I’m going to make fixed dates for when to update within the next week after I get all caught up with school and whatnot, but yeah hopefully you guys still like these series and still follow it!!!! I just got to 500 followers and that’s a huge deal to me so thank you so much!!!

Part 7

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, 


Three months later and I was still staying at Dan and Phil’s apartment. Catherine and I had only spoken when I’d picked up my necessary items from the house. She looked like a mess half the time. Her normally shining eyes blue eyes looked like they’d been filled with a dark storm. She had bags on her eyes and honey, they weren’t designer. Every time I looked at her she looked thinner and more and more like and more like microwaved shit.

  Since I was now around six months pregnant; I was fucking huge. Literally, it was like I was carrying a fucking planet on my body. I felt so awful all the time. It was so hard between craving the dumbest crap to eat but then suffering from how sensitive I was to morning sickness. By the way, why the hell is it called morning sickness if it happens at any time during the day? The name is misleading and honestly it made me way more aggravated. Did I mention that other symptom? My hormones were so uneven and terrible that I cried way too often, got irritated way faster or started giggling at the tiniest things.

 Dan said that it would be better if I just stayed with him and Phil throughout the rest of the pregnancy and at least two months after the baby is born before I start looking for a place to live in. He said that it would be easier on my stress levels with the whole Catherine dilemma, and school work up my ass. Not to mention that my shitty job hardly gave me enough money, so I couldn’t pay for much. Dan never mentioned anything about my low cash income, but he didn’t have to. He and I both knew that the longer I stayed; I wouldn’t be so resilient to him paying for things. As much as it bothered me, I had to deal with it because I was in no position to reject.

   I’d woken up early and put on one of Phil’s sweaters and a pair of sweats. Since I was short and now a whale, I wore basically any of the boy’s clothes that I wanted, and they both knew that fighting against it was useless.

Remember when I said my hormones were going crazy? Yeah… I couldn’t make it through a lecture at school without getting turned on and immediately thinking back to when me and Dan had a sex. As embarrassing as it was I couldn’t think of any other sexual encounter as the one with him. Maybe my body just knew that it was his baby and it reacted better with that personal connection. Or, maybe it was the huge fucking crush I had on Dan that made me want to rip my heart on and stomp on it.

 I was undoubtedly falling into that big L word with Dan, and it was seriously screwing me up. It made me weak whenever he spoke to me, and even weaker if I walked into his room at a time where he’s changing and I see him half naked. It didn’t help that he was so sweet and caring and really intelligent but he completely changed when Marie was around. I still couldn’t understand why he liked her so much, she was toxic to him. She was completely crazy about him acting and looking a certain way, and even hearing them having sex from upstairs made me feel bad for him. She was controlling and annoying and had a completely different sense of humour than he did. Not to mention, her disgusting brother seemed to tag along a lot more these days making it impossible to have some time in peace without feeling like he was going to try and shove his fingers in me or something.

 It was just before Christmas and around that time to go home and spend time with your family. However, I didn’t want to go see my family. Well, I couldn’t. They were all planning on going on a three week cruise and that just made me feel awful thinking about it. The trip was planning before anybody knew I was pregnant. Frankly, being on a boat with awful motion and morning sickness with a huge stomach and tons of work to catch up on made me uncomfortable, so I wasn’t feeling it. It was okay because it’s not like we wouldn’t have next year to spend together.

  Today had been a big day for me, though. My ultrasound had taken place. Dan nor Phil knew that I was going, and I almost felt bad. They both liked taking me because Dan knew I felt calm when he took me, and He felt better if Phil came in case he fainted. However, they’d both just been so busy lately that I didn’t want to distract them from all they had to get done, so I just didn’t tell them. If it was a regular ultrasound, I wouldn’t feel as bad, but this one? I’d be finding out the sex.

   I lifted up my shirt and smiled at the screen next to me, waiting for the doctor to put the cold gel on my stomach and start looking. As soon as the baby appeared on the screen my smile went on to a full grin. There it was, flickering in black and white but there it was. My child. Dan’s child. Our child… Although this baby was the reason my life had gotten so hard, it was comforting to know that I’d been growing this tiny human in my stomach.

 “So, miss, Y/N. I looked at some of your other ultrasound photos and checked out everything from your past check up’s with me recently, and everything is fine besides one tiny thing,” I immediately looked at her and raised my eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. “I feel like with all the stress your experiencing, mixed with some family history that you’ve expressed that you’re at risk of preeclampsia. As you know its high blood pressure it can also go on to affecting your kidneys, brain, or liver. Why I’m more worried about it, is because of how you’re pregnant and how it could potentially harm your baby. It’s not too likely to happen, but if you just make sure that you’re eating, sleeping, and feeling well you should be able to avoid it but that’s not a fixed solution. I’ll give you a pamphlet with symptoms so if anything happens, call me or go to the hospital immediately.” She went on to calming me down and answering all the questions I had, which was good. I was obviously concerned but I only had three months left so I should be fine.

“Now on to the good news. I can see the sex of your baby. Would you like to know now?”

I went home with the pictures of my baby and a grin on my face. I now knew the sex and that besides one little tiny thing, we were going to be okay.

 Getting inside the house didn’t go as planned as Dan and Phil were arguing quite loudly, and it was awkward that I just stood outside the doorway and listened.

 “Dan! Do you seriously not understand? You’re never home anymore because you’re out with your girlfriend all the time! You were supposed to stay home tonight and watch over the girl you got pregnant. I’m sick of always having to pick up all the pieces for you when you made a mess!” Phil yelled. Did they really think I needed a babysitter?

“Phil, I’m sorry that my girlfriend needs me tonight. She’s had a rough day and I have to go and see her. And Y/N is grown up and had made it very clear that she can take care of herself. That’s what she’s always wanted, isn’t it?” Dan’s tone was far more hushed than Phil’s. I mean, I was always quite an individual when it came to taking care of myself, but Dan got tense when he thought about me doing tasks that I really shouldn’t do while carrying a baby.

 “Dan, that’s not the point. You know better than anyone that she has a lot to deal with and she shouldn’t be left alone for such a long time since you’re probably not coming home tonight, and if I actually went out and fulfilled my plans with my friends, I wouldn’t come home either. Anything could happen to her or your baby.” I could hear Phil take a deep breath. “Plus, Marie makes you become some fucking idiot all the damn time.”

“Jesus fuck!” Dan exclaimed, making me get chills. I still had to make it so that I wasn’t so obviously eavesdropping. “Fine. You go out and I’ll stay home.”

“Good. You should start to see what it’s like to be a responsible parent for a damn change.” Phil huffed and I heard his footprints get closer to the door; I started walking away before hearing Dan again.

 “I don’t even want to be a parent, God!” I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to get closer to the living room again, but I did.

 “You should’ve though about that six months ago.” Phil said and shrugged, leaving the living room and eventually the house.

 I was left confused. Everything Dan had ever said to me about wanting to take care of me, or wanting to be a parent once he found out I was pregnant was a lie? Well, maybe not. Maybe I’d just imagined he said all that to me and twisted it up with the reality of things. I felt like I’d been picked up by some huge person (or a titan, hah) and been tossed and played with. Had Dan not felt the same emotional connection to the baby that I had? Shouldn’t he have felt that way by now?

I needed answers, but not tonight. I just wanted to see him and acknowledge that I heard him and rub up to my bedroom in their office and cry myself to sleep. So that’s what I did, I walked in and saw Dan sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

 “Phil, just lea-“ Dan started to say before I cut him off.

 “It’s not Phil.” There had been various tears silently rolling down my cheek. I really didn’t want him to see me like this, but I just couldn’t care anymore. Dan immediately stood up and started walking closer to me.

 “Did you hear all of that…?” He asked. His hair was a messy, but he was dressed up and he smelled like his cologne. I really couldn’t think of a better look for him right now, but I was super fucking hurt that it didn’t even matter.

“Yeah. I heard it. I don’t need a babysitter, but it would be nice if you were home enough for me to tell you about the baby. I’ll be honest; I shouldn’t be here right now. I should be at home with my friend watching Game of Thrones or Glee or some shit right now. And tomorrow, I should be packing to go on a cruise with my family. But I came here because I needed a place to go so I can get my shit together without overstressing. Today has been a great day and right now, I know my hormones are acting up but it’s hard for me. I’ve told you in the past that you have it easier and I hate saying this about ANYBODY, but I need you. You asked for a chance and I gave it to you. I’m doing my part, and my part is so fucking hard.” I took a deep breath. “I don’t like your girlfriend or the fact that she’s going to be the basic stepmom. I don’t like her brother. I don’t like how far behind I am at university, either, but it has to be done. I love my baby so I have to do this.” Part of me wanted to keep going, but it was punishing me more than him.

 “I don’t know what to say…” Dan admitted after a few seconds of silence. I chuckled and reached into my purse, pulling out an envelope.

“You don’t have to say anything.” I shrugged and threw it at him. I walked out of the room and left him to open the envelope containing a picture of the baby from the ultrasound and writing on the back that simply said:

It’s a boy!

I went upstairs and changed into my pyjamas. I set up the pullout couch and brushed my teeth. Once I was actually in bed I was full on ugly crying with all the pent up emotion. The happy tears were mixed with the sad ones, and those tears were mixed with the confusion tears which were also mixed with the frustration tears.

About twenty minutes later, the door slowly creaking open and Dan sat on the bed. We said nothing to each other as he hugged me close to him and let me cry into his chest. In his right hand, he still held the picture.

“You went without me…” He softly whispered, running his left hand through my hand to try and soothe me. It worked, since my sobs were starting to get quieter and quieter.

 “You don’t want to be a p-parent…” I choked out and continued crying. He put the picture down behind me and cupped my chin, still making sure that he was holding on to me in some way.

“I didn’t mean that,” he said. I don’t know if it was because this was the closest we’d been to each other physically since the night we made love, but I decided to believe him. My brain was too tired to consider whether or not he was just being nice. “We’re having a son… Like, we’re actually having a baby boy…”

Dan seemed so amazed by the fact that the baby is indeed a boy that he forgot I went without him. He stared into my eyes for ages, sucking me into minutes of pure bliss as I stared at his amazing face and taking everything in. Nothing else besides this moment mattered. He was still cupping my chin… But I was so lost in him I didn’t notice he was inching his face closer and closer until…

     His lips touched mine, and then we were kissing.

Fix Your Attitude: Chapter 15

Read on AO3.
Part 14 here.
Part 16 here.

Summary:  You thought going through Kylo Ren’s stuff was totally fine–until Minks had to go and make you feel bad about it. Why should you have to apologize?

Words: 2200ish

Warnings: Naughty memories/language I guess but you probably know that if you’re this far in.

Characters: Kylo Ren x Reader

A/N: Look it’s a chapter that’s a normal length and doesn’t have any sex.

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Don’t Tell Sam...

Pairings: Sam X Reader, Dean

Word Count: 1,386

Warnings: Hardcore angst, talk of illness

Beta: My Fav- @deathtonormalcy56

Read Part 2: Don’t Look for Me 


(Y/N) had been with the boys since practically the beginning. She first met Sam Winchester when he was running around hopped up on demon blood and she put him in his place. When Dean came back though, she started occasionally joining them on hunts. A few here and a few there until it became an everyday thing. She eventually became part of their small little family.

Dean really took to her, always combating her sass with his not-so-witty comebacks. He thought of her as his little sister, always looking after her even when they bickered. Sam however saw her in a much different light. Apparently it was a surprise only to the couple, when he proposed. (Y/N) had just finished hacking off the head of a vampire when Sam realized he couldn’t live without her. Before he even knew what he was doing, he was pulling her to him. He rested his forehead against hers and whispered, “Marry me”, and she said yes in a heartbeat.  

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Disabled

It’s not an insult. Not a slur. Not a moral failing.

I see people say “autism is not a disability”, often in all caps with multiple exclamation marks. The implication (I know, most tumblr people don’t grasp that punctuation marks actually mean something and think they are just decoration) is that it would be bad to consider that being autistic could be a disability. The secondary implication is that being disabled is something to be ashamed of.

I am autistic and I am disabled. I am not ashamed of either.

Disability means nothing more than “unable to do a thing a typical person can do”. That’s it. Nothing more. No moral or value judgment attached.

That doesn’t mean that you have to announce or claim to be disabled - being disabled is not an identity, it is a practical statement. It merely says there is something you can’t do that is expected of a typical person without assistance. If you don’t want to say you are disabled by something feel free to not say it. Denying it, saying it isn’t true, however, is, well, denial. :)

A person that needs a cane to walk is disabled. They do not need to claim to be. They don’t need to wear a sign. They don’t have to sign a register. They are even allowed to say they aren’t (Grim likes to do that in his more obstinate moods).

Even a simple thing like needing eyeglasses or contacts to see things that other people can see without them is a disability. (I know, I am going to get jumped on BIG TIME for saying that.)

Note that I have not mentioned the medical versus social model of disability. I mention it now only to point out that it is irrelevant. If something about you is preventing you from doing something a typical person can do, regardless of outside causes, you are disabled. I like to keep things realistic rather than theoretical - I don’t care that the bright lights in the room are required by the majority, their existence is a barrier to my entry and whether it is my SPD (medical) aversion to bright lights or the other people’s desire (social) for bright lights is pretty much a “I don’t care” point - I can’t go in, I’m disabled.

I can ask for less light - an accommodation. The fact that I am asking for an accommodation is a big hint that I am disabled. Typical people do not need accommodations (note that when you consider all aspects of life, it’s really really hard to find a ‘typical’ person - but on a case-by-case (situational) basis they exist).

I have never had a party. I have never been to a party. The idea of being in a situation with enough people that could be called a party raises my already high blood pressure to insane (yup, I used that word) levels. I am disabled. Typical people are not scared of being in groups of other people.

Babbling again - sorry, I do that a lot when I make words.

Being autistic does not mean you are disabled. I have read of people here on tumblr, I even follow some, that are autistic and manage to do all the typical things. They need down time to recover after doing them, but they do them. However if you CANNOT do them, if the doing is not possible (like me and lights or groups of people), you are disabled. It is not a bad thing, it’s just a thing.

Denying disability does not make the disability go away, it just makes it harder to get people to help you deal with it. (Why should they give accommodations if you don’t need them? is how they are thinking.)

anonymous asked:

Not going to lie- being a Mormon teenage girl with basically no desire to have children is so, like, weird and uncomfortable

Yeah, I can only imagine. As a Mormon teenage boy, some of that same pressure is there–when Elder Perry suggested that the family was the center of the gospel last conference instead of, I don’t know, maybe Jesus, my blood began to boil–but to nowhere near the same extent. The closest thing I have is the cultural pressure to serve a mission, which is just exhausting and exasperating, esp. if you don’t feel called to proselytize, if selling your religion door to door doesn’t fire you up.

But that’s NOTHING compared to the Mormon expectation of motherhood. A mission is just a commitment of two years; raising a child is an eternal thing and something that I think many may enter into too lightly. Plus, we still have the cultural idea that stay-at-home mothers are infinitely more righteous than working mothers, which means sacrificing any accomplishments outside of parenting. For someone who isn’t fired up by babies and home economics, that must be terrible because that’s almost exclusively what the Church emphasizes for women.

Too often, I think Mormonism gets caught up in the idea that WE HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS and that there is this perfect little box that everyone needs to fit into, a list of requirements that need little checkmarks next to them. That’s a fallacy. If our Heavenly Parents didn’t want diversity and uniqueness, if They didn’t love us for who we are, than why are we so dissimilar? Ironically enough, the idea that we all need to think and act the same is not “unity” or “Zion”; rather, it is Lucifer’s program, it is Hell itself.

There’s a story in the Bible about Hagar, a slave-woman, someone whose society has chewed her up and spit her out. She’s wandering in the desert, no food, no water, her young son about to die. And The Lord himself appears to her–and here is what the Bible says–God sees her and her son where they are. In one version, Hagar actually names God “El-roi” or “God sees”. And that’s what is important here: your Heavenly Parents and your Savior see you. Not only that, but they see you where you are, in the unique circumstances that only you are faced with. And it does not matter in the least to Them what your society or culture thinks about you, what it expects from you–They love you, They will guide you, They will set a blessing on your head. No matter what.

You have a spark of the Divine in you: be the Goddess-in-embryo that YOU need to be and be undeniable in that quest. May The Lord guide and bless you.

noveliist  asked:

Could you please explain what this whole dress thing is about I came on tumblr and it's suddenly everywhere I'm so confused

BASICALLY, We’re all arguing over what color this dress is. Some people see it as white and gold, others see it as black and blue, and SOME OF US see it as BOTH because it CHANGES COLORS WHILE WE’RE LOOKING AT IT. The entire thing is raising my blood pressure and I feel like tumblr rn is like a group of toddlers looking at a pair of keys