things that make me hate

3

happy birthday to.. me! haha uh its kind of a birthday tradition of mine to draw whatever i feel like no matter how little sense it makes lmao anyway here are yuuri and victor in kinda matchy KotOR star wars robes!! its very late!!! this is not an au dont @ me victor would never work for the jedi he is good and i trust him okay im leaving now bed time

anonymous asked:

Hi, 7goodangel. I am here to ask you about PaperJam as a shy, smol and innocent being (mainly thegreatrouge made him be). There has been some conflicts regarding his trait. Some said his canonical personality is a jerk, like what you wrote in his bio / info and some said that is severely wrong and being shy, (which made him shipped with Fresh), is his canonical personality. What are your thoughts about this? I mean, it is your character and people are taking control of it. Don't you disagree?

Well… I have talked to people and seen public conversations and this has happened several times to me over months. I guess I’ve gotten a little numb to it now… or maybe it’s due to school that I haven’t given it the attention that it deserves. Probably due to school. 

I just can’t update constantly like others - even though some others in school were and are able to update constantly. I can’t keep going around and holding up my bio of PJ and police people. It’s exhausting to me… it really takes up the small bit of free time I have. 

I think after I get a solid job that I’ll be able to go around better… but anyway - back to your question. 


While I love seeing interpretations and do not want people to be limited by something and have their imaginations go forth… it’s proving that a huge con comes with that mentality - which you have pointed out. A lot of people swear that PJ is the cute, innocent interpretation that really, did get PJ popular in the first place. While I did have him as a jerk from the beginning - I kinda kept that info to my RP blog - so you could say it is my fault this is all happening and I do think that. I could of done something to make it not as bad as it is now… 

It’s just like the NSFW stuff… people just assume the first thing and run with it. And it really does make me feel like I really am not needed for my own character at points. 

It’s a struggle - I don’t want to have people stop interpreting PJ within AUs… but I also don’t want people to just see him as an innocent child to ship with Fresh. 

And I’m still trying to find the best solution to it. 

But… I feel like the damage is already done. It’s too late for me to talk to all of these people going around swearing on their life that PJ is canoncally like Rouge’s interpretation/AUs. It feels like an hopeless battle to me. 

And I guess I needed someone to ask me this question so then I can fully say my thoughts on this. 

So in short, while I love creativity and don’t want to snuff it out (considering some people would probably think I’m doing that already with saying “No Sin”), I still don’t like it. It irritates me, irks me, frustrates me, and I feel like even as the person who thought of PJ in the first place, my voice isn’t enough. Communities seem like they don’t care about artists unless they reach a ‘certain goal of popularity’ or seem like they have a more professional style of art. I know I do not reach either of those titles. 

People misspell my username all the time - I actually claimed ‘7goodangle’ on tumblr for that reason.

People still say “I’m too lazy to find who made PJ” when they clearly mentioned they looked at the bio on the wiki. 

People still go around arguing others on the canon ship of OmniPJ and swearing that FreshPaper is the true canon ship, when all people are pointing out is that they need to keep the canon ship in mind when going around with information.

Even just basic personality traits… and these things are happening on sites that I do not nor want an account for. 

I still want others to have fun - to be happy; but I don’t know… I guess I’m cutting out my own happiness to get everyone else happy? I want to eventually write a version of PJ within his own universe and story… and he is more like the version I created within the UT verse. Not exact - but close. Though who knows… I might shove PJ to the side and replace his role with another character. I’m still weighing options.

Cause PJ was the first character I ever put this much time and thought into… my first character that was balanced, well rounded…

And what happens?

…well.

You said it Anon. 

They took it - changed it (initially as an AU but now people think it’s canon) - and I can’t do much about it. Due to school and not much free-time… due to how many don’t know the true creator… and just back talking anyone who is just mentioning it to people who swear by it. 

As an artist and a character designer…

It makes me not want to show designs, characters, and stories ever again online.

Considering if this is how I was treated on the first one… why even take a chance at a second one? If it has brought me so much stress, frustration, and time… why even try it again?

I said I was only going to do fanart so if anyone stole it, it didn’t really matter. 
I think I should have stuck with that thought process. 

In conclusion, there are some major things to take away here. First – that yes, I do not like how it has skewed this far to the point of arguing over a fandom version with the canon. Canon is canon and I get the different AUs – this is too far. Way too far. I am emotionally drained from this – from this whole mess that I have been defending throughout majority of PJ’s lifespan. I will state this – Paper Jam is my character. He is my original character that I created more than a year ago. And the UT AU fandom took my character and warped him to something he is not and all of his original meaning is lost. I do not like to hurt others or make other sad – but I must put my foot fully down. This miscommunication needs to stop. I am tired of repeating things over and over and I have past my breaking point time and time again. I just want people to see PJ how he really is… and I wish that people could be focusing more on the reality of him instead of the alternate that they all claim as truth.

Final words: I still like Undertale – I still like creating characters and having fun – but the Undertale AU fandom is ridiculous now. The Amino UT community is insanity in an app, and there is a lot of stuff that has made many artists and creators to their breaking point and leaving the fandom entirely. Everyone in this fandom needs to take ten steps back and look at what they are doing. Go back to the game. Play it again – watch your favorite let’s player’s videos of it again. 

And just… food for thought… please don’t jump the gun on someone else’s OC’s personality and actions. 

I do not want anyone to experience what I had.

HAPPY EASTER!!♡ U( ˃ㅅ˂ ✿)U

I wonder if you ever felt like I abandoned you….  
If you ever thought I should have fought for you…

The truth of it is I never left.  
I’m still here.  
And I do fight for you - every single day.   
Not to win you…. not to trap you or cage you…  
But for your happiness.

I wage war on myself day in and day out for you.  
Tearing strips off myself, swallowing hatred and tears….  
So if you hate me because I abandoned you…. don’t worry…  
….. I hate myself for it too…
—  Ranata Suzuki
Just Marauder Things

James: Worn cotton t-shirts fresh out of the dryer; back scratches; sliding in socks on slick hardwood floors; the sudden sleepiness coming from eating too much food; the smell of sulfur from fireworks; singing at the top of your lungs in the car; air guitars; cracking jokes to break the ice; snapping; accidentally biting your tongue; spinning around with your arms out; hot, buttery popcorn; victory dances; knuckle biting; whispers that are a little too loud; trying to tell a joke but laughing too hard to deliver the punch line; laughter so intense it draws tears; smiles that crinkle your eyes at the corners; driving with all the windows down; slight breezes; backwards baseball caps; popping the joints of your spine; the underlying smell of sweat; deep collarbones; high fives that leave your hands red and stinging; nose crinkling; goofy faces; over exaggerated yawns; hidden freckles; endearing dimples; scrapes; getting over zealous during a game of monopoly; whispering during movies; repressed laughter; the pain in your abdomen when you can’t stop laughing; warm hugs; sincerity; sleeping au naturale; muddy converse; flannel shirts; the smell of sandalwood; milk moustaches; hip squeezes; daydreaming

Sirius: the tacky feel of leather on a warm day; bruised knuckles; the urge to keep poking at a bruise even though it hurts; lip biting; protective hugs; cold, rainy days; lingering sneezes; smirks with half lidded eyes; cracking your knuckles; tapping your fingers; your hair tickling the back of your neck; the smell of a new car; callused hands; the overwhelming urge to dance; soft chuckles; groggy delirium when you first wake up from a nap; passionate arguments; air conditioning on a sweltering day; back muscles to die for; the cold side of the pillow; nail biting; biting on a lollipop instead of sucking; scuffed boots; the power that comes from standing tall and crossing your arms; rough hands and long fingers perfect for flipping someone off; folding the corner of a page to keep your place in a book; classic rock; falling asleep on an airplane; unsweetened ice tea; platonic kisses; walking with your chin level to the ground; running hugs; hugs where you’re swept off of your feet; scratchy, hoarse voices; handsomely scruffy faces; eyebrow piercings; lazing around the house in a towel for hours on end; cards against humanity; superstitious precautions; tangled earphones; whistling through the halls; butt slaps

Remus: Mumford and Sons; cat hair everywhere; the smell of chocolate and cinnamon; waffles in the morning; sleepy smiles; soft laughter; wholehearted hugs; broad shoulders; kind eyes; gentle let downs; shutting down during an argument; exasperated sighs; crisp smell of a new book; lingering touches; the feeling of cashmere; a glass of warm milk before bed; taking notes during class then rewriting them later so that they’re neater; eye rolls; sassy comebacks in a sotto voice; hardly ever wearing jeans; tired shadows under your eyes; Polaroid pictures; rock ballads; staying inside warm in bed when it’s cold and cloudy outside; reading a book before bed; barely being able to keep your eyes open because of how tired you are; really long, natural eyelashes; resting bitch faces; not-so-good posture; coffee with too much cream; keeping your closet light on at night; wooden spiral staircases; sliding on the banister; nonchalance; sparks fluttering off the flames of a bonfire; sand between your toes; the newfound feeling of warmth a tan brings your skin; riding a bike through town; post offices; carpet burns; coffee stains; writing crammed into the corner of a page; the shock in your feet when you sprint

Peter: tears; pain; suffering; ugliness; betraying your best friends; disgust; nausea; death

  • Me: does something
  • Someone: makes very slight criticism
  • Me: regrets all my life choices, loses grip on what little self esteem i had, thinks about the insignificant comment for the rest of my life

some people make me feel so worthless, it hurts sometimes, I just wish to sleep for over a week without dealing with anything.

High heels are the feminine equivalent to motorcycles, in that they are the more impractical (and even dangerous) alternative, turning a necessity into a flashy accessory, they exist for little purpose other than to make the owner look cooler/more powerful, and the noise they make going by is alone enough to make me turn my head and stare in a combination of low-key arousal and self loathing that I once again I fell for the trick.