things that happened a year ago

Years of working in a bookstore have taught me that readers, like books, cannot be judged solely by appearances. Nonetheless, there are times when someone enters and I immediately know: This person does not belong among books. This was the case a few nights ago. A young man in what I took to be a fraternity jacket stumbled through the front door. He was clearly intoxicated; his first remark – shouted, of course – was, “Pumpkin-spiced beer, old man! Yeah!”

I ignored him, hoping that he would realize quickly that this was a bookstore, and we did not serve alcohol of any kind, let alone pumpkin beer.

He began to wander around, and I decided that the simplest course of action would be to let boredom take its toll, at which point he would surely leave. He staggered upstairs for a while, and occasionally I could hear him yelling random nonsense. I, meanwhile, opened a favorite book – The Illustrated Man – and was soon lost in Ray Bradbury’s beautiful and haunting prose. I might have forgotten about him entirely, had I not heard a sudden peal of loud, drunken laughter. It did not come from upstairs: No, it came from the basement. He had evidently made his way back down the stairs, and had continued on the basement. Had I left the door unlocked again?

“Nothing down there is for sale,” I shouted. To be fair, yes, there were books in the basement – several crates, in fact – but they were mostly odd volumes that I’d gathered from estate sales and auctions. Many, I had never even opened.

There was another fit of laughter, and a sudden shout: “Whore licks!”

“YEEAAAAAH I wanna go to Whore Licks University!”

I stood there, Bradbury still in my hand, utterly and completely baffled. Whore Lick? What on earth was the drunken fool shouting about?

“Open sesame! Open up, baby!” he shouted.

I sighed and closed the book. As I did, I suddenly realized: Horlicks University. There was, down in the basement, a crate from Horlicks University. I had been meaning to open it, but I had never gotten around to it. It was sealed with heavy chains, and it had been gathering dust for ages.

There was a loud crashing sound, and then a noise that sounded like chains, falling to the floor.

He surely hadn’t managed to open it, had he? I suddenly realized that I’d never actually looked to if the old locks on the chains were even latched. Had he unsealed it?

Then, suddenly, there was another sound: A loud, horrible sound that I cannot quite describe. It seemed to be a combination of things, like a scream, and a growl, and a very loud crunching sound… and then, nothing. Silence.

I waited for a moment. What had happened?

Reluctantly, I realized that I would need to go downstairs and, more likely than not, carry the drunken fool up and back to whatever frat party he had come from. I started toward the stairs, then realized that the Bradbury book was still open on the counter. I had a sudden fear that someone might show up and try to buy it. I didn’t want to go through the awkward conversation that always ensues when someone tries to buy a book that I don’t want to sell. Better, I realized, to put the book away. I took it into my office, and locked it away in my desk.

When I emerged from the office I realized that the front door was slightly ajar. Had the young man fled? Or had he not closed it when he had entered?

I went to the stairway and headed cautiously toward the basement. There was no sign of the young man. At first glance, it looked as though nothing had changed. Then, I noticed that the chains that had secured the large crate were on the floor.

There was also a large, dark red stain on the front of the crate. Had that been there before? I couldn’t recall.

No matter, I thought. The important thing was that the man was now gone.

For a moment, I considered opening the crate to examine its contents; after all, it had been there for years, and I still didn’t know what was in it. There was, however, the matter of that unfinished Bradbury book, tucked away in my office. The crate, I decided, could wait. I put the chains back in place, just to ensure that its contents would be safe, should some other errant stranger would venture into the basement.

As I went back upstairs, I closed the basement door behind me. For a moment, I considered writing out a little sign, something along the lines of “Nothing For Sale Here. Stay Out.”

Making a sign, however, would take time that could instead be spent reading, and I desperately wanted to return to my book.

I did, however, find the time to walk over to the front door, close it, and lock it. It was best, I thought, to not risk another interruption.

noincomedoublekids  asked:

what's it like being a twin? share some insight, please! ❤️

This is a strangely difficult question!

The short answer is, “It’s cool, but I have nothing to compare it to.”  I’ve never grown up without a twin, so I can’t compare it.  My situation is also unique; I have an identical twin brother.  He’s transgender, he was assigned female at birth like me, and transitioned about 10 years ago.

But!  Here are some things that happened!

Mom’s POV - Our mom had some horror stories.  Apparently, the first few years are incredibly difficult.  Of course two babies are harder than one.  And! You know all the random messy inconvenient things that kids do?  With twice the kids, you get twice the bad ideas!  We’ve put shaving cream on the cat (to make him pretty, of course), flooded the bathroom, used a jump rope as a swing (I broke my leg), used a jump rope as a tow rope so Twin Bro could pull me on roller skates behind his bike (I broke my front tooth), and learned to climb on the roof of the house.

Growing up - People always wanted to know if we were twins, identical or fraternal, and who is older (me, by one minute).  As people got to know us, they wanted to compare: Who’s the funny one, the smart one, the artistic one, the boss, and so on.  (Good answer: “Oh, they both have their moments!” That way, neither kid feels pigeonholed!)  And, of course, they wanted to know whether we had our own language or a psychic link.

For the record, we do have our own language; it’s only written, and we rarely use it anymore, but it’s there.  It may seem like we have a psychic link, if only because we’re really, really used to each other.  I don’t always know what Twin Bro is going to say, but I know what tone of voice he’ll use, and we can crack each other up laughing from across the room by facial expressions alone.

Adult life until recently - We would hang out ALL. THE. TIME.  At least once a week, if not two or three times.  We were in contact nearly every day.  We were each other’s first call whenever a thing happened.  As we both entered serious romantic relationships, this decreased a little bit…but not much.  Also, luckily for me, Twin Bro married @unic0rnthe0ry, one of the best friends I’ve ever had. :D

We each have a different perspective on growing up.  Our childhood memories are stronger because we each remember things in our own ways, and have someone to talk to about those stories.

Adult life now - I live in Colorado.  Twin Bro lives in New Jersey, he’s a doctor going through residency and that’s where he ended up.  We still talk more than I talk to my younger brother, who lives across town.  We text, we email, we keep our inside jokes going, and once we get back together, it’s like rolling a ball down a hill.  (I get to visit in November, *SQUEEEE!*)  

But, things are changing.  We live in two totally different worlds now.  I’m doing the mom thing, leaning on my partner more; he’s working crazy hours as an intern and leaning on his husband more.  We’re not always going to be in as close of contact as we were in the past, and that’s okay. He’ll still be able to make me laugh my ass off just by catching my eye from across the room or texting me a single word.

anonymous asked:

why do some people describe yoongi as a cold person that probably ignores his girlfriend when he's the softest boy that would do everything for his lover and look at it with heart eyes 24/7

bc some armies are wack and can’t get over jokes/things that happened years ago

he would honestly be so whipped for his partner. he wouldn’t even try to hide it. he’d just stare at his partner/pictures of them or just daydreaming about them and completely blank out everyone else. one of the members would have to clap infront of him to get his attention. also most of the songs he’d write would be love songs bc he fucking loves his partner??????????

little known fact, once you are older & no longer in school, time stops being real. did that thing happen one year ago? two? five? a few months ago? who knows. 

My friend told me a story he hadn’t told anyone for years. When he used to tell it years ago people would laugh and say, ‘Who’d believe that? How can that be true? That’s daft.’ So he didn’t tell it again for ages. But for some reason, last night, he knew it would be just the kind of story I would love.
 
When he was a kid, he said, they didn’t use the word autism, they just said ‘shy’, or ‘isn’t very good at being around strangers or lots of people.’ But that’s what he was, and is, and he doesn’t mind telling anyone. It’s just a matter of fact with him, and sometimes it makes him sound a little and act different, but that’s okay.
 
Anyway, when he was a kid it was the middle of the 1980s and they were still saying ‘shy’ or ‘withdrawn’ rather than ‘autistic’. He went to London with his mother to see a special screening of a new film he really loved. He must have won a competition or something, I think. Some of the details he can’t quite remember, but he thinks it must have been London they went to, and the film…! Well, the film is one of my all-time favourites, too. It’s a dark, mysterious fantasy movie. Every single frame is crammed with puppets and goblins. There are silly songs and a goblin king who wears clingy silver tights and who kidnaps a baby and this is what kickstarts the whole adventure.
 
It was ‘Labyrinth’, of course, and the star was David Bowie, and he was there to meet the children who had come to see this special screening.
 
‘I met David Bowie once,’ was the thing that my friend said, that caught my attention.
 
‘You did? When was this?’ I was amazed, and surprised, too, at the casual way he brought this revelation out. Almost anyone else I know would have told the tale a million times already.
 
He seemed surprised I would want to know, and he told me the whole thing, all out of order, and I eked the details out of him.
 
He told the story as if it was he’d been on an adventure back then, and he wasn’t quite allowed to tell the story. Like there was a pact, or a magic spell surrounding it. As if something profound and peculiar would occur if he broke the confidence.
 
It was thirty years ago and all us kids who’d loved Labyrinth then, and who still love it now, are all middle-aged. Saddest of all, the Goblin King is dead. Does the magic still exist?
 
I asked him what happened on his adventure.
 
‘I was withdrawn, more withdrawn than the other kids. We all got a signed poster. Because I was so shy, they put me in a separate room, to one side, and so I got to meet him alone. He’d heard I was shy and it was his idea. He spent thirty minutes with me.
 
‘He gave me this mask. This one. Look.
 
‘He said: ‘This is an invisible mask, you see?
 
‘He took it off his own face and looked around like he was scared and uncomfortable all of a sudden. He passed me his invisible mask. ‘Put it on,’ he told me. ‘It’s magic.’
 
‘And so I did.
 
‘Then he told me, ‘I always feel afraid, just the same as you. But I wear this mask every single day. And it doesn’t take the fear away, but it makes it feel a bit better. I feel brave enough then to face the whole world and all the people. And now you will, too.
 
‘I sat there in his magic mask, looking through the eyes at David Bowie and it was true, I did feel better.
 
‘Then I watched as he made another magic mask. He spun it out of thin air, out of nothing at all. He finished it and smiled and then he put it on. And he looked so relieved and pleased. He smiled at me.
 
‘'Now we’ve both got invisible masks. We can both see through them perfectly well and no one would know we’re even wearing them,’ he said.
 
‘So, I felt incredibly comfortable. It was the first time I felt safe in my whole life.
 
‘It was magic. He was a wizard. He was a goblin king, grinning at me.
 
‘I still keep the mask, of course. This is it, now. Look.’
 
I kept asking my friend questions, amazed by his story. I loved it and wanted all the details. How many other kids? Did they have puppets from the film there, as well? What was David Bowie wearing? I imagined him in his lilac suit from Live Aid. Or maybe he was dressed as the Goblin King in lacy ruffles and cobwebs and glitter.
 
What was the last thing he said to you, when you had to say goodbye?
 
‘David Bowie said, ‘I’m always afraid as well. But this is how you can feel brave in the world.’ And then it was over. I’ve never forgotten it. And years later I cried when I heard he had passed.’
 
My friend was surprised I was delighted by this tale.
 
‘The normal reaction is: that’s just a stupid story. Fancy believing in an invisible mask.’
 
But I do. I really believe in it.
 
And it’s the best story I’ve heard all year.
—  Paul Magrs

Aries: You can’t hide in trauma forever. I know, it’s tempting. Calling your name out to you. Begging you to use it as an excuse to go back to every hold habit you tried so hard to kick. Eventually you have to stop hiding under covers and face what your world looks like now.

Taurus: You’re not invisible I promise. People are watching. Ever vigilant should the dark thoughts come back. All you have to do is ask for us, and we will come. We will come even if you don’t ask, but we see the smoke of everything burning. It’s okay. You have not been forgotten.

Gemini: Take a breath. You’re not at war anymore. There is no more battles to wage. You have won them all. Smile and sit back. Enjoy the victory. You have earned it. No one cares what you did to win. We just care that you came back home.

Cancer: Stop letting their words dictate your future. You’re worth more then that. More then what those small fools can see. I know you don’t know if you can believe me. But I promise you, you are meant for bigger and better things. You just have to be willing to want it.

Leo: Stop running. Whatever was chasing you lost your scent long ago. I know you think it’s the only thing you can do anymore, but stop. Learn to let the world stand still without being scared. It’s okay now.

Virgo :Don’t let the darkness back in. It comes around for you this time of year like clockwork. Do not let it come back in. Do not use this time as an excuse. You are so much better than this bullshit that surrounds you.

Libra: You can’t ever go back, as much as you want to. Don’t loose out on what’s happening now just because you’re mourning and missing what could of been. Lift up your gaze and try and smile. You’ll only get a moment like this once.

Scorpio:Stop using their words as an excuse to hate what you see in the mirror. They don’t know you. Stop trying to destroy yourself when it’s so much easier to make repairs. I know it’s scary, but you are worth saving.

Sagittarius: It’s okay to start over. It’s okay to begin again. I know it’s terrifying. But you will never get anywhere if you just stay standing perfectly still. The first steps always the hardest.

Capricorn: Don’t forget who you were, or you’ll forget the lessons it taught you. Don’t try and erase your past. Show your scars off, you earned those fuckers. You’re still standing. That’s something to be proud of.

Aquarius: I know it hurts more then you think you can manage. But here’s the shocker, you are managing.  You are getting up every day despite all of it. Don’t focus on tomorrow. Just focus on getting through the next 5 minutes. Because that’s really all you need.

Pisces: Not doing something because you’re scared of ruining it is a sorry excuse, and you know it. Nothing is as fragile as you give it credit for. You are not some bull in a china shop. You are safe here. Don’t be scared.

—  This weeks horoscope 
It Takes A Long Time To Get Over Yourself


Oh, man. This letter has taken me an embarrassingly long time to write. Probably because I haven’t written anything but e-mails and Tweets for 12 years.

If the last year has taught me anything, it’s this: it takes a long time to get over yourself.

Last March, after 7 years on the road, I decided to take a break. I was excited about this. I’d imagined myself watching tv all day, being a “chill person”, eating doughnuts because I didn’t have to wear latex catsuits anymore. The reality was not quite the joy ride I’d been expecting.

I’ve been an artist for over a decade but up until this year, I hadn’t realised how much my sense of self had been defined by my role as an artist. I’d never thought of “Marina and the Diamonds” as a persona or a construct, and I didn’t think the stage-me was very different to the sofa-me. MATD was an exciting vehicle that helped me express ideas and thoughts to people. But just as people construct online personas, artist construct visual ones, and over time, the lines between art and reality can drift apart. 

I can’t remember when I first became conscious of it but I started to feel like there were two parts of me, artist self and private self, and there was nothing in between to link the two anymore. I was one or the other, and neither part of my personality could be present in the same environment. Perhaps because I’d spent most of the past 8 years devoted to being an artist and this hadn’t presented many opportunities for other parts of my personality to grow. When one part of a personality dominates, other parts shrink and life can take on an unreal, two-dimensional quality. I felt confused as to why I no longer felt like I fit into the world I’d built. I don’t think my feelings are exceptional (particularly in entertainment) but I wonder if you are someone who has experienced this in a different context.

I’ve always been interested in identity. In my twenties, I felt frustrated by how regularly my identity seemed to shift and change until I began to consider the idea that a fixed self may not exist. I explored this in “Electra Heart” by deconstructing aspects of female identity in a portrayal of female archetypes. However, the past year has made me re-examine this idea. Not being able to equate my identity to a job, project or visible entity has created a lot of discomfort and uncertainty in me. Which has been a surprise, as I thought I felt secure in myself. How can I be so sure of who I am if I am so susceptible to change? A lot of what contributes to our idea of identity is down to pure chance - ethnicity, social class, upbringing, religion, job, relationships - who are we without those influences?

Everything in western culture feels so geared towards self-definition, but I wonder if having a looser idea of yourself could make life richer. The past year hasn’t been full of rainbows - I feel like my brain has been brutally rewired - but letting go of a perceived idea of myself has resulted in a new kind of personal freedom. My image is no longer a main source of identity, nor are previous signifiers like clothing (more on this in a future post), designer brands + other things I subconsciously used to define myself.

Lasting change rarely happens over night. This past year has been painful and slow. But I’m in a more genuine space than I was a year ago and I would never want to go back to that stunted way of being again. In fact, the only solace I had in this period was being able to read the books and blogs of other people experiencing significant life transitions, so I hope this might be of help to anyone who is going through a similar stage.

Truth is, I’m not planning ahead much right now. I am indeed going through my “what should I do with the rest of my life” phase that most people go through at 21. Which is… cool. But I’m grateful to have the opportunity to explore different interests, and starting marinabook is a part of that. I’m starting a Psychology course soon, which I am SO excited about, and I’m ready for a brand new chapter. I hope you’ll be a part of it.

Some people have been asking about new music and I’m always flattered to be asked. I know one year is like an aeon in digital time! The honest answer is I don’t know when that will be, but the connection I have with music has always flowered from an honest connection with myself, and I trust my instincts. Whenever I get back on stage again, I would love to feel like I am the sum of my parts, not the sum of a persona or an image. That’s the goal. A lot of reality with a little bit of fantasy. So, marinabook is a way for us to stay connected while I work that out.

I miss you all!

Ask a question or share thoughts here.

Love from,
Marina

Further Reading

Brilliant explanation of personas here. 5 minute read.

Podcast on how our views about the Self affect our views on death.  By “Philosophy Bites”.  15 minutes.

Illustration by Lan Truong

HOW ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT HONERVA?

What about Honerva? Oh idk, maybe…

THIS

WHAT THE FUCK

SHE’S USING HER ALTEAN POWERS TO HIDE HER ENTIRE IDENTITY!

Now okay this entire time I’ve been wondering:

How does no one including her own son not recognize her??

“No one comprehended that the experiments of my mother, Honerva, could never be undone. I had a secret team construct this inter-reality gate on the rift, where her work began.”

SO HE THINKS SHE’S DEAD

But why wouldn’t he recognize her right?

BECAUSE FOR ALL THESE 10,000+ YEARS SHE HAS BEEN HIDING HER IDENTITY!

And just look at her expression. She is shocked to see her real face after so long.

Clearly getting her memories back in season 3 has changed her perspective on a lot of things.

It’s like she was almost reborn again

“No one can completely wipe a memory away. There are always remnants deep within to claw out.”

BUDDY SHE IS SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE HERE

This could be foreshadowing to Zarkon possibly remembering some day through some sort of experience, considering he clearly didn’t remember even after she woke him up with her power drawn from those memories.

But back to the scene revealing her real identity:

Her pupils are shaking, her eyes are blood-shot, and she looks very distressed!

The amount of stress on her body over 10,000 YEARS is obviously going to take its toll on her. Her body is most likely permanently damaged from what happened to her when she was on her death bed.

Even if it is not the most noticeable thing happening in the show, she is clearly drawing back to being more Honerva than Haggar.

(Honerva was clearly crazy too and was a “science or death” woman but she was at least a little more sympathetic(?) as Honerva)

So I just wanted to point this out since I have seen absolutely no posts about this meanwhile I was screaming when it actually happened.

Theory time: so it’s clear that Zarkon(and everyone else in the universe) believe that Honerva died 10,000 years ago.

And as we’ve seen here, the purple/blue skin look and glowing eyes are part of an Altea transformation that she did to hide her identity.

Maybe when she woke up from being dead, she decided that the loss of his wife is exactly what zarkon needed to rule his empire with proper authority, considering he risked everything to try and save her she was obviously his weak spot.

So she wakes up before him and decides she’s going to be Haggar, the High Priestess of the galra empire, here to advise and help zarkon in anyway possible. And then over those 10,000+ years she forgot who she was, what with being swept up in the Druid magic and quintessence.

All she knew after a certain point was that she was Haggar. She clearly did not remember Lotor being her son until she gained her memories back. And it’s stated she didn’t realize zarkon was her husband until they came back.

So yeah this post is long sorry about that. Happy Season 4 Day everyone!

jongkey: *teases taemin*
taemin: 😠
jinki: *also teases taemin*
taemin:  😄

©

anonymous asked:

hi viria, i was wondering what brand/kind of make up do you use? i get so overwhelmed looking at youtube videos because it feels like you need a lot like foundation, concealer, powder, primer, etc. and i'm worried it'll look really obvious/bad but you make it look natural and subtle

on wwh, thank you!

Personally, I don’t feel like myself with heavy make up and I think it doesn’t quite suit me, so I’m happy to know what I do is liked by someone! 

But I feel like I might use a lot of stuff too? A year ago or so I happened to get myself into korean skincare/makeup, so ended up getting a bunch of stuff, mostly for skincare, but still. My foundation, highlighter, a few lip tints and blushes are from there. I think from what I use on a regular basis I only have loreal concealer and some cheet eyeshadows that are mass market. 

Generally tho, everything I have is mass market because cool things american youtubers use in their videos are. very. expensive here, so korean ones are good alternative for me. Like, usual maxfactor foundation probably costs around 200 grn, korean be a bit more expensive but I feel like the quality is a bit better would be around 200-400 w hile something like mac or nyx (and those are the most affordable) are 600 and up to 1500 or so…

ANYWAY! I drew a tutorial of what I tend to do on a regular basis as in my go to makeup! 

For step 2, I tend to use soothing/brightening cream right after I wash my face, so I don’t use it right before I do my make up (unless it’s sunscreen)

3. I LOVE BEING DEWY okay, I try to find the good balance between dewy and looking oily, but so far I think it works. My last fave is secret key tattoo cover cushion foundation, but I’m running out of it.. it’s what I used for the past 4 months or so. As for concealer, I use loreal with brush that you have to swirl to get the product out which I don’t remember how to call but it’s subtle, covers bags quite nicely and doesn’t look heavy:3

to be honest mostly I just use my blush as an eyeshadow..Unless i use something brownish. I don’t know the brands I have but they vere like 20 grn back in the day, so. very. cheap stuff.

as for lips, I mostly use matte or semi matte lipsticks or tints, they are easier to smudge and my hair doesn’t stick on it which is very important! 


Generally, from what I learnt, you don’t need a super excessive amount on a daily basis? I don’t have a single bronzer or contour palette or specified brow products and I only use what I have in eyeshadows for that. same ashy brown somehow looks nice as contour and as my eyebrow shadow.

I think it’s hard not to get overwhelmed at the amount of products a lot of people use in their videos, but…I’m not sure, maybe it’s just the quality of what I buy here, but I can’t say primer EVER changed anything for me. Like my foundation still lasts however long it can, with or without it. Or those fancy glowy or moistrusing essanses instagram beauties drop all over their faces, i’m not even sure what are those and how necessary those kinds of things are.

I guess focus more on the products you actually need instead of those people say you absolutely have to purchase.

I’m sorry I don’t know if it helps but I hope it does at least a little bit! 

PS I think there will be many typos and I’m sorry for them, but for some reason I can’t fix them without deleting every single letter in front of my typo:( tumblr text is hard

Spain

The only country where the fascists won the war, stayed on power for 36 years and then there was a “transition” to democracy. The thing is the people who were ministers with Franco stayed on power. The most voted party in Spain is the direct successor of the Francoist government.

A year or so ago I felt pride that this country atleast wasn’t having a fascist party revival, but I was wrong. The fascists never left. What is happening right now in Catalonia is proof.

Catalanes, catalans, surtiu a votar avui. Hem de votar per la gent que no va poder votar mai.

Advice For The Signs

Aries: You can’t hide in trauma forever. I know, it’s tempting. Calling your name out to you. Begging you to use it as an excuse to go back to every hold habit you tried so hard to kick. Eventually you have to stop hiding under covers and face what your world looks like now.

Taurus: You’re not invisible I promise. People are watching. Ever vigilant should the dark thoughts come back. All you have to do is ask for us, and we will come. We will come even if you don’t ask, but we see the smoke of everything burning. It’s okay. You have not been forgotten.

Keep reading

some reminders

- stay hydrated!
- think about flowers and how beautiful they are
- are you still bitter about that thing you should’ve stopped being mad about ages ago? try to let it go, you’ve probably already wasted way too much energy on it!
- don’t forget to eat, have some veggies or fruit!
- do you have any ideas for writing or art? if so, stop putting them off and make them happen! if you don’t, that’s fine too, don’t force it x
- take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come this year and how much progress you’ve made
- send a friend a nice message to cheer them up and tell them you’re glad to have them in your life
- is there anyone you could write a letter to?
- stop wasting your time switching between apps for hours when there’s actually nothing to see - do something you WANT to do instead!
- have you been outside in the last couple of days? if not, force yourself to get some fresh air, it’ll do you good
- be kind. always.

let’s be honest...

This is probably gonna come across as quite negative, but it’s really not intended to be. I’m going to be honest because thats what this blog is about, honesty and discussion. I would never usually do a post like this, but I’ve spoken to a lot of people who are feeling the exact same way as myself. This isn’t spreading “hate” so don’t attack me for it, it’s an opinion and it’s something that I feel should be addressed. Anyway, here we go:

I genuinely feel as a fandom, we are all so blinded by how we perceive Lauren to be, that we always attempt to justify the things she says/does when in reality, there’s a lot of things, we don’t actually agree with. I’m struggling to accept this image she’s playing out. It’s obvious their team is preparing her for her solo career next year. Out of the 4, only she and Ally so far have been given permission to release a song for profit in mainstream pop this year. Now, we’ve touched on the younger fanbase issue before. Lauren has always wanted to be older and more mature than who she is. Every stage in life happens for a reason, we accept that as we grow we learn what we need to know, when we need to know it.  L attempted to grow up so fast, that she’s now lost who she was. I look at L in 2015 then I look at her today. She was more mature and aware two years ago at 18/19 than she is now. Present day, her actions and behaviour contradict everything she stands for and preaches upon us. She selective, and addresses certain things on social media, leaving other major issues out. Her sexuality is now been questioned and undermined because of who she is been linked to and who she’s supposedly dating. That’s actually fucking sad, not just for L, but for LGBT fans across the fandom. She’s either drunk/high in nearly everything she uploads on Instagram. I understand thats a lifestyle choice, thats completely acceptable. There’s millions of people that do weed, I don’t personally but I don’t have an issue with people doing it, each to their own. However, what I do have a problem with is young fans cluelessly imitating Lauren’s behaviours because of her status and profile. If she wasn’t so public and blatant about what she was doing, I wouldn’t be writing this. None of the other girls are, and this is partly my issue.  L attempts to justify who she is and her lifestyle but all she’s doing is conforming to the stereotypes put in place by the music industry by publicising everything but not what’s important.

There’s been instances where Lauren has been so rude and impolite to respectful fans who nicely and respectfully ask for pictures or to talk with her. I understand theres a lot of fans who don’t respect the girls privacy, the airport incident was just one of many situations. But, 90% of the fandom are genuine fans who literally just want to take a picture or talk for a few minutes with their idols. These are the genuine fans that in reality elevated the girls to the level of success they currently sit at today. I’ve spoke to fans who have been left in tears at the Meet and Greets because Lauren couldn’t be bothered to interact with those who had spent hundreds of dollars to specifically meet her. I understand she’s human, she’s allowed to have off days we all have them. But, it’s important to remember, Lauren chose to audition back in 2012, she chose to sign a group contract and she chose fame. Nobody else chose this but herself. 

Fame can be the greatest thing in the world. You can do what you love, gain a platform and address issues you’re passionate about and have them taken seriously. However, it’s the most damaging thing to ever exist in humanity. What comes with fame is money and greed, and individuals loose who they perceive themselves to be. L’s confidence in herself often comes across as egotistical and arrogant. In any real life situation, no one should behave like that because no one is ever going to be the best. Why’s that? Because, there’s always going to be someone in life who comes along that’s better than you are and unfortunately, that’s just the way the world works.

I’m going to be completely honest with you all here, I genuinely fear L will lose herself in industry as a solo artist. There’s temptation, and people will try and craft her into a mould for the sole purpose of making money. We’re already seeing this happen. I fear her political and social activism will be degraded because of how she behaves and portrays who she is. There’s that added pressure to be the best vocally and if were being honest, theres always someone new that’s better. Her feminism and liberation as a woman will be taken away from her if she continues being linked to those known for their misogynistic and antifeminist behaviour. Her sexuality, something so empowering, brave and a huge part of who she is, will be degraded and mocked if she’s in relationships with certain people who think bisexuality is a joke. It’s not acceptable.

The healthiest and safest thing for Lauren to do, is to distance herself from social media and concentrate on what really matters. Spending time with family to reground herself of who she is and what she stands for. She’s got so much going for her and her potential is endless. But at the same time, she’s losing a lot of respect from fans who have been there from day one and those are the same fans that regardless of contract, can make or break a career.

Because, today, I restart college, I thought it was cute to introduce you to my morning routine and give you some advice about it. Many of these things I’ve made since I was very small, just like anyone else, but others have only been added for a couple of years, so … let’s start!

1. Wake up at 6:30AM

I know it might sound very strange, but I’m a morning person, or at least, since I remember, I’ve always been since I was little, so I’m not struggling to get up, indeed, I often wake up even before my alarm sounds.

☀Tips: If you’re not a morning person but would like to become I have some tips for you:

- Go to bed early: if you want to get up early you also have to go to bed at a decent time, otherwise in the morning you will feel really too tired to do anything. There are a lot of apps or sites that figure out what time you have to go to bed so you can wake up refreshed the next morning: one of these is Sleepytime. But even if you don’t want to use one of these apps, remember that the human body needs at least seven hours of sleep to be active.

- Use an alarm clock or more than one: Yes, I know, set your alarm is the most obvious thing in the world but it is useful.I recommend you to point more than one alarm clock for an hour before you get up and, maybe, every ten minutes in that time so you will not be able to sleep again!

- Put feet on the ground now! If, as soon as you wake up, you will immediately put your feet on the floor, you can do nothing but get up and your body will not take advantage of it to sleep again, especially if in contact with the cold floor!

2. Shower at 6:35AM

That’s why I do not think there’s a better explanation than this: I just like to shower in the morning especially now that it’s autumn, hot water makes miracles!

☀Tip: If you’re not a morning person you’d better take a shower with cold water, or warm, this will awaken your senses! 

3. Breakfast at 6:45AM

I’m not particularly creative in the morning, I’m not a genius in the kitchen and alternating moments of healthy food with other calories, but despite that, I’m trying to eat well, believe me!I usually have breakfast with:

- Milk and cereals ( usually corn flakes).

- Fruit yogurt (usually peach, strawberry or blueberry) and biscuits or oats and pieces of banana.

- Red fruit tea and cereal biscuits.

- Chamomile, a teaspoon of honey and three rusks.

- Carrot cake, Banana Bread or Muffin.

- Bread with Nutella!

- And of course C-O-F-F-E-E (this is the only constant)!

4. Dressing up at 7:00AM

I usually prepare my clothes the night before so I do not have to go crazy in the morning to figure out what to wear: I usually wear Jeans and a shirt.

Tips: 

- Prepare your clothes and bag the night before so in the morning you will not have to go crazy to find something to wear!

- Wear what you want but if you go to school or in a serious place informed about the dress code!

5. Skincare Routine at 7:05AM

One thing I started doing a couple of years ago was taking care of my skin. Let’s say it’s also a way to take a moment for myself in the morning (along with the coffee LOL).

☀Tip: I think it’s important to find a way to take care of themselves, even early in the morning, this will help your brain to relax, also remember that the health, physical or mental, comes first.

6. Make up at 7:15AM

As for makeup, never put anything excessive, especially if I have to go to college, even at times I happened to not wear makeup at all! Usually, however, I always wear mascara, concealer to cover the dark circles, and a bit of blush since, especially in winter, I have pale skin.

7. Leave home at 7:30AM

I usually take the bus to get to university, since it is a bit ‘far from my house.

2

So about the incident from the Weibo chat, I’ve gone out to learn what I can about the situation. I’ve also confirmed with Layshands regarding what happened, since she did read the conversation between Yixing and this fanboy. I’m posting some public statements I’ve seen from Chinese speakers who were present for the Weibo chat, since they also confirm what I’m about to explain.

Basically, during this chat, a fanboy with the username “Zhang Yixing’s husband” commented “I’m not gay but I like Yixing because of my girlfriend.” In response to that, Yixing jokingly said, “then your username is not correct!” as in, “you can’t be my husband if you have a gf.” Afterwards the fan apparently continued to joke with Yixing by proposing to him with “can you still be my husband” or something along those lines.

The context of the convo, and part of the convo was left out in the translation that people had seen previously, so its easy to misunderstand the situation. I’m not denying that Yixing is hypermasculine/heteronormative, nor am I denying stupid shit he’s said in the past (xingmi are well aware), but nowhere in this conversation did he tell this fan that his sexuality was wrong, nor did he imply that being homosexual was wrong. He’s also never explicitly stated he was against the LGBTQ community (both in the past & now) either, and he hasn’t said anything even implying the topic of sexuality since like 2ish years ago. So I think from what happened with this convo, and based on Yixing’s own philosophy about considering criticisms seriously, he’s been careful and continued not to mention the topic or make any statements about it. He was simply having a teasing conversation with a fan, jokingly calling out “infidelity”. That’s all I can comment on, knowledgeably.